Frasier Season 4 Episode 13 Four For The Sees Aw
Frasier Season 4 Episode 13 Four For The Sees Aw
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00:00Well, listeners, flu season is upon us again.
00:05As is customary, KACL is offering its employees and their families free flu shots.
00:12Now, in order to show the importance of getting a flu shot, I am going to put aside my lifelong fear of needles
00:19and be inoculated right here over the air when we come back.
00:24I've been sitting out here half an hour. I've got places to go.
00:29Well, Dr. Clayman is on his way, Dad.
00:32Fraser, are you really afraid of needles?
00:34Oh, not really. No, I just say that to encourage people that really are.
00:37Well, they can use the help.
00:39You know, those needles they use are about this long, and if it hits a nerve when it's going in...
00:43Stop it, Rose.
00:44Shots are perfectly harmless. You've got nothing to worry about.
00:48Oh, sure. You hear the occasional story about someone getting an air bubble in their vein,
00:54or the needle getting stuck in a bone and the tip breaking off.
00:59Well, that's the exception.
01:01Oh, that's it. We're out of here.
01:04But what about my flu shot? I always get a flu shot.
01:07Well, you're not getting a flu shot today. You told me you'd dropped me off at McGinty's.
01:11Now, I told Duke I'd meet him at five o'clock sharp, and he pouts if I'm not there on time.
01:16Sits there with his bottom lip stuck out and eats all the Brazil nuts out of the bowl because he knows I like him.
01:22So, come on. Let's go.
01:25It's nice to know that men in bars still settle their disputes the old-fashioned way.
01:30Oh, I ducked a crank.
01:31Oh, that's great.
01:32Sorry I'm late. My last pitch was a bleeder.
01:34Oh.
01:38Fifteen seconds.
01:39Where are my manners? Perhaps you should get inoculated first.
01:45I already had my shot, but I could sure use a check-up.
01:52You're on.
01:53Oh, thanks.
01:55All right, folks. We're back.
01:57Joining us for this last minute of our show is Dr. Morris Clayman, who is going to give me my flu shot.
02:04But, you know, what's the rush?
02:06Perhaps we'd be interested in finding out what strains of flu you've isolated this year.
02:13Primarily Singapore, Rangoon and Malayan.
02:15Would you roll up your sleeve, please?
02:17And how do you suppose they traveled here?
02:20No idea.
02:21Roll up your sleeve.
02:22Could it have been a careless tourist?
02:25A baggage handler?
02:27A tainted walk?
02:29Dr. Clayman, we're almost out of time.
02:31You do want to get that shot, don't you?
02:34Yes, yes.
02:35All right, first I'm just going to swab the area with a little alcohol, and then I'm going to give you the shot.
02:41There, that's done.
02:43Really?
02:45Oh, that didn't hurt at all.
02:48This is the newly immunized Dr. Fraser Crane signing off.
02:52No, no, no, that was just the alcohol.
02:54This is the needle.
02:56Ah!
03:10Hello.
03:11You are late.
03:12All the tables are taken.
03:13No, uh-uh, there's one right there.
03:15Dibs on that table.
03:16Ros, I was here first.
03:17No, but I'm meeting someone.
03:19Please, guys.
03:20Oh, who is it?
03:21Another one of your till-dawn-do-us-part relationships?
03:25No, Twerp.
03:26This is a guy who I think really has a chance.
03:29I can sense a lot of chemistry between us.
03:32Morris!
03:33Hi.
03:34Dear God!
03:35When did you two even get out of my sight?
03:38I checked out for 30 seconds after he gave you the shot.
03:43No one is budging.
03:44We could be here forever.
03:45Well, how's that?
03:47I suppose we...
03:50A good share of tables.
03:51There's a couple of seats available there.
03:55Oh, good Lord.
03:56You can't sit with strange women.
03:58Why not?
03:59We married strange women.
04:02Really, I'm not in the mood.
04:04You know, just try to relax.
04:06It's good to do something spontaneous for a change.
04:08Come on.
04:09Yeah, I just...
04:11I wouldn't know what to say.
04:12And besides, I'm a married man.
04:14Oh, Niles, please.
04:15Why don't you get rid of that tired old excuse?
04:17Your off-again, off-again relationship with Maris.
04:22Hello, ladies.
04:23Excuse me.
04:25Would you mind terribly if we joined you until another table opens up?
04:29Oh, please do.
04:31Oh, thank you so much.
04:32That's very kind.
04:34I'm Frasier, and this gentleman dusting for fingerprints is my brother Niles.
04:42I'm Laura, and this is Beth.
04:44Oh, hello.
04:45Laura?
04:46Yes, Niles.
04:48Niles.
04:50What do you two ladies do?
04:53Oh, you don't want to hear about it.
04:56Well, why don't we?
04:58It's just boring.
05:00To the guys, anyway.
05:01Their eyes just glaze over when the subject comes up.
05:05Oh, come on.
05:06Come on, we're not your average bozos off the street.
05:09Why don't you try us?
05:12We design kitchens.
05:17On the contrary, I am always ready to debate the merits of downdraft cooktops and ceramic tile back splashes.
05:25Whoa, whose little boy are you?
05:29Huh.
05:30Isn't just the mention of a double bowl stainless seal sink with integral drain boards makes me hum like a sub-zero freezer?
05:42You know, I think the key to a good kitchen is comfort.
05:46Well, that's a whole current trend.
05:48A living room feel in the kitchen.
05:50Except, of course, with our father who favors a kitchen feel in the living room.
05:56That's funny.
06:01You're very witty.
06:05Thank you.
06:06Oh, look, now the table's opened up.
06:08Oh, no, no, no, don't. Stay.
06:10Yeah, this is fun.
06:12Well, yes, it's fun, isn't it?
06:14Well, I told you it would be.
06:18Why don't I go get us some coffees?
06:20Some coffees.
06:23You know, I, uh, I, uh...
06:27I'll help.
06:31I knew you'd panic.
06:32Oh, well, I'm sorry, this is still a little new for me, and besides, those two are coming on to us.
06:38You know, they are very attractive, Niles.
06:41Maybe we should ask them out?
06:44On a date?
06:46We just met.
06:48I'm sorry, Niles.
06:49Perhaps we should grab them a few more times before we ask them on a date.
06:54I just mean it seems a little rash.
06:57Well, that's exactly why we should do it. We're being spontaneous today.
07:01Come on, do some good.
07:02I am enjoying this, and, uh...
07:05All right, I'll do it.
07:06Wait.
07:08We're making an assumption here.
07:10We could both be interested in the same woman.
07:12Good Lord, I hadn't thought of that.
07:15All right, I'll declare.
07:18I'm interested in Beth.
07:20Good, good, we really dodged a bullet there.
07:24Which one's Beth?
07:25Oh, it's this one here.
07:26Great!
07:32Well, here we are.
07:35Oh, Frasier, what a great apartment.
07:38Well, it's just a little something I threw together, you know, an objet here, an antique there.
07:46And there's the chair.
07:50Wow, he wasn't kidding.
07:53Oh, hi.
07:54Dad.
07:55Dad.
07:56Meet Beth Armstrong and Laura Paris.
07:59Martin, how are you?
08:00Well, please, have a seat. Sit down.
08:02Yeah, yeah, so...
08:03You've been out on a double date, huh?
08:06Well, sort of.
08:08We met this afternoon, and the next thing we knew, your sons were taking us out to dinner and then to the Seattle Rep.
08:14Oh, what'd you say?
08:15The man who came to dinner, it's about a bad-tempered invalid that moves into these people's house and just drives them crazy.
08:24Comedy?
08:25I used to think so.
08:29Well, Mr. Smart Alec, as a matter of fact, I was just about to do a favor for you.
08:34Sherry and I can't make it to the mountains this weekend, and the cabin's already paid for, so I thought maybe you'd like to use it.
08:40Oh, thank you, Dad.
08:42But Laura and I have plans to go to the symphony.
08:45Oh, how about you, Niles?
08:47Oh, Beth and I are attending an art opening.
08:49Well, if you hear of anybody.
08:51Nice meeting you, ladies.
08:53I'm really glad the boys brought you over, and it's been a long time since I said that minute.
09:01Well, Dad wasn't really thrilled with the women we married.
09:05Yes, fortunately, my taste has improved a lot since then.
09:09I think your taste is fabulous.
09:11I'm referring to the brandy, of course.
09:14Hmm, velvety texture, great body.
09:18I'm not.
09:22Well, in honor of what happened today, a toast to winging it.
09:28What greater thrill is there than going down an unknown path, not quite sure where it will lead, just enjoying the way that path wins, and what it looks like, and where it goes off to.
09:50Perhaps you should have left a trail of breadcrumbs before you started down that toast.
09:58You know, Fraser, I hate to see you miss a weekend in the country just to take me to the symphony.
10:07We can go next week.
10:09Wait a minute, I have a thought.
10:11The spirit of spontaneity has carried us this far.
10:14Why don't we postpone our plans and all go to the cabin together this weekend?
10:19I'd love that.
10:21Sounds like fun.
10:23Well, then, it's settled.
10:27Saturday morning, we ride the high country.
10:31Say, you two have been here five minutes, you haven't seen Fraser's kitchen yet.
10:36There's really nothing special about it.
10:37Well, let's let the professionals judge that.
10:39I am kind of curious to take a peek.
10:41A peek away, a peek away, yes.
10:44Someday, when you speak of his faux granite countertops, and you will, be kind.
10:53You are so funny.
10:57What's going on?
10:59Well, things are going rather fast.
11:02Just going out this evening was a big step, but something that involves packing a suitcase?
11:07I mean, given my situation, I can't...
11:08Niles, when are you going to stop letting Maris be an anchor on your social life?
11:12Oh, surely that is the most tortured metaphor you've ever come up with.
11:15Maris, an anchor?
11:16Oh, please, Niles.
11:17I've been waiting for one hour.
11:18I told the woman...
11:19Wait, wait, for God's sake.
11:20Oh, would you just stop it, you're changing the subject.
11:24This afternoon, for the first time in your life,
11:27a perfectly lovely woman whom you don't even know has agreed to go away with you on the weekend.
11:33Isn't that exactly the kind of scenario you've always dreamed of?
11:39Yes.
11:45And if you pass it up, won't you regret it?
11:49Yes.
11:52Well, then.
11:53For once in your timid, risk-free life,
11:58don't you think it's time you grabbed for that brass ring?
12:02It's a great kitchen, Frasier.
12:04You guys feel like firing up the cappuccino maker?
12:06Yes!
12:11Of course, if I have that much caffeine at this hour, it'll probably be...
12:14Yes!
12:22Ah, there we are.
12:25After you, ladies.
12:27Oh, this place is perfect.
12:31Oh, and don't you just love this air?
12:33Oh, I am going to sleep like a baby.
12:36Me too.
12:37Geez, I hope you two don't mind roughing it.
12:40There's no radio or television.
12:42I guess we'll just have to make our own entertainment.
12:45We should be able to manage that.
12:48Come on, let's go look around outside.
12:51We'll start the fire and we'll be right out.
12:54Yes!
12:57Well, I think things are going rather well, don't you?
13:00Yes, they are, and thank you for twisting my arm.
13:03Feel like a new man, do you?
13:05I feel like a new woman, and thank God I remembered to pack one.
13:14You know, I just wish I were sure that Beth and I were on the same page.
13:18Forgotten how to read all the signals.
13:20Well, Miles, you don't need a decoder ring to understand the phrase
13:23make our own entertainment.
13:28And again, there was that other statement about sleeping like a baby.
13:32Exactly.
13:33They could be thinking platonic.
13:35The two of them in one room, sleeping like babies.
13:38Two of us in another, crying like babies.
13:42Well, we're all adults.
13:44I suppose we could just ask them what they have in mind.
13:47That would be the worst thing we could do.
13:49What if they're not interested?
13:51We'd all be embarrassed. We'd ruin the entire weekend.
13:54I know.
13:55Their luggage will tell us.
13:58We'll put my bag in with your dates, and your bag in with my dates.
14:04They'll see the mistake.
14:06The way they correct it will tell us with whom they were planning to spend the night.
14:10Each other, or us.
14:11And either way, it'll all look like a simple misunderstanding.
14:14You've done this before.
14:19Only on my honeymoon. Now hurry.
14:23Miles, this is idiotic.
14:25We're both trained psychiatrists.
14:27Yes, and finally it's paying off.
14:31Oh, Frazier, this place is heaven.
14:34Why don't we open up a bottle of wine and watch the sunset?
14:39You know, the sun won't be setting for a little while yet.
14:43Just think how much more we'll enjoy it if we've got all our unpacking done first.
14:49That can wait.
14:51By the way, Beth and I were talking, and I don't know what you guys had in mind for tonight.
14:59And sorry if this sounds kind of forward, but we would like to avoid an awkward, uncomfortable situation
15:05by getting this out in the open right now.
15:08When we go out to dinner tonight, it's on us.
15:16Oh, well, that's awfully nice of you, yes.
15:20Speaking of awkwardness, you know...
15:26Look at that sunset.
15:32Are you as crazed by this as I am?
15:34Are you as crazed by this as I am?
15:36It's driving me out of my mind.
15:38All right, then. I'm going to settle this once and for all now.
15:41Just follow my lead.
15:49Yes, that is lovely, isn't it?
15:58It's magnificent.
16:04Yes.
16:24You're not feeling so hot, are you?
16:29What did the doctor say?
16:31He says I've got...
16:33What was that medical term he used?
16:36Oh, I remember. Flu.
16:42God, I'm really sorry I didn't let you get that flu shot.
16:46Is there anything at all that I can do for you?
16:49Well, when I was a little girl and got sick, Grammy Moon used to read me to sleep.
16:56It was a great comfort.
16:58Oh, is this what you're reading?
17:01The Rose and the Rapier.
17:04Well, if you're not in the mood...
17:16You don't have to.
17:18No, no, I'll do it.
17:20The bookmark's where I left off.
17:22All right.
17:24Okay, with a gasp of dismay, she ran to him.
17:31Her amethyst eyes wide with alarm.
17:35You fool, she hissed.
17:38Suppose someone saw you.
17:40The Duke's men are everywhere.
17:44This isn't so bad.
17:47I told you.
17:49You fool, she whispered again.
17:52You sweet, brave, wonderful fool.
17:55I should have died had you not found my bedchamber.
17:59Oh, geez.
18:05Then she was in his arms and all her qualms forgotten as she...
18:13...tore his tunic asunder and thrust her eager lips against the sinews of his naked chest.
18:35The next morning...
18:37You left out a section.
18:43Okay, okay.
18:48As his brazen fingers peeled the silken fabric from her heaving...
18:56...bosom...
19:04...he beheld her quivering alabaster mounds.
19:13At that moment, she felt the proof of his rampant passion against her milky thighs.
19:24His almost godlike beauty was marred only by the fact that he was cross-eyed...
19:41...three feet tall and had breath-like owl droppings.
19:54Is there anything more relaxing than just lazing by a fire with a good glass of wine?
19:59Nothing I know of.
20:01You two must be relaxed, sitting there so calmly when there's still all that unpacking to do.
20:11Miles, we didn't bring that much.
20:14Yeah, we didn't think we'd need too many clothes this weekend.
20:18Well, I hate to break things up, but I'm getting a little sleepy, so I'm going to get ready for bed.
20:24Yeah, and it's getting kind of late.
20:26You finished with that?
20:27Oh, yes, yes.
20:33All right.
20:35I can't take this anymore.
20:37These women are as inscrutable as sphinxes.
20:40Yes.
20:42Mr. Gotti, all they've done is send us the most veiled, cloaked, cryptic messages.
20:46Can't they just give us one clear signal?
20:49Well, I'm off to bed.
20:51Niles, are you coming?
21:00Curse these infernal riddles!
21:02Niles!
21:03Niles!
21:09So she really said what I thought she said?
21:11Yes, go!
21:14Suitcase, suitcase.
21:18There you are.
21:20Sleep well.
21:21Oh, you too.
21:28What are you doing?
21:29Oh, I...
21:30Never mind.
21:32Yes, is Mrs. Crane there?
21:34Yes, I'll hold.
21:36What is this, some sort of weird kinky foreplay?
21:41I'm starting to feel guilty about this.
21:43No!
21:45I'm sorry, I just need to clarify the ground rules of Maris and my separation.
21:49Oh, fine, fine. I think you may look back on this one day as your darkest hour.
21:53Rabbit, you do what you want to.
21:57Yes, Maris.
21:59It occurred to me, you know, we never laid out the rules about our dating other people and what we could and couldn't...
22:07Niles, what are you doing?
22:09Coming!
22:12Well, no, here's the thing. I know that we're allowed to see other people.
22:18My question is, how much of them are we allowed to see?
22:29Oh.
22:34I'm sorry, what?
22:37Oh, really?
22:38Oh, well, that's wonderful. That's all I needed to know. Thank you.
22:50Yes?
22:52You are wrong. Maris says she doesn't mind at all.
22:55Oh.
22:57Well, then.
22:59Off you go.
23:03Let the rebels begin.
23:26Hmm.
23:30What? What?
23:32Why doesn't Maris mind at all?
23:34What's going on?
23:35Oh, nothing. Just a second. It's Niles.
23:38Oh, there'll be a moment.
23:41Why do you care?
23:42Well, because she could have taken a lover herself, and this is her way of alleviating her guilt.
23:48Okay, now, so what do you want to do? You want to stew over that all night? Let her have all the fun?
23:53No. No, of course not.
23:56Well, then. Off you go.
23:59Niles?
24:23Niles?
24:24Uh, momentito.
24:26Hello?
24:27Yes, Maris.
24:30Oh, I see, but...
24:33All right.
24:42Yes?
24:45Are you sure?
24:46I'll just be a second.
24:49She's changed her mind. She doesn't want you to go through with it.
24:52She doesn't want you to go through with it.
24:55Do you realize what's happening here?
24:57Yes! Your ex-wife is ruining my sex life! Give me that!
25:03Oh.
25:05Could I...
25:06Oh, I...
25:08What are you doing?
25:14What? What are you doing?
25:17What if she's changed her mind again? How am I supposed to know what to think?
25:20I'm going to say this just one last time.
25:22Oh.
25:23This weekend is not about thinking. It's about doing.
25:28Doing something that the Crane Boys haven't done for a very, very long time.
25:35For once in our miserable sex-starved lives, can't we do something pleasurable without thinking it to death?
25:45Don't think about today. Don't think about what's right.
25:47Don't even think of them as Laura and Beth for tonight!
25:50They are just two live, breathing, available female bodies who want us!
25:59Think again.
26:18Do you remember which snowbank you threw my phone into?
26:22Oh, I think I could hit it again.
26:25Frazier? Frazier? Frazier!
26:33Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling. Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:40Quite stylish.
26:42And maybe I seem a bit confused. Well, maybe.
26:46But I got you pegged.
26:51But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:58They're calling again.
27:01Good night, Seattle! We love you!