FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COMPLAINING!

Stefan Molyneux

Wednesday Night Live 21 August 2024  In this episode, I tackle the ethics of withholding personal information, particularly regarding past romantic relationships. Addressing a listener's question, I argue that maintaining privacy is a valid aspect of personal autonomy, distinguishing it from deceit. We discuss what details should be shared in relationships, emphasizing that not every aspect of one's past needs to be revealed. I explore the themes of personal accountability and the importance of clear expectations in relationships, challenging the notion that dissatisfaction arises solely from partner behavior. As we examine societal standards and the pressure to be transparent, I urge listeners to practice honesty with themselves and their partners. The episode concludes with a call for personal responsibility and community engagement to enhance our relational experiences.  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!  Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon!  https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022

Transcript

00:00:00All righty, righty, good evening, good evening, 21st of August, 2024, Wednesday Night Live,

00:00:07all philosophy, all the time, odds of shirtlessness somewhat increasing, because StaffBot had

00:00:14a nice workout today, and I'm pumped!

00:00:18Pumped for philosophy, and pumped for ripping the barn doors off tanks, as well as a hole.

00:00:27Let us get to your comments, issues, challenges, and prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrblems, and let's

00:00:34start with SwanLock asks, Is it immoral or dishonest to withhold information and not

00:00:41speak about bad choices you have made in the past?

00:00:43For context, in a prior call in in which you spoke with a 35 year old woman, at the end

00:00:50you told her not to tell future dating candidates about her past choices of terrible men, and

00:00:54to take it to the grave.

00:00:56I think this is dishonest and withholding information.

00:00:58It was confusing to hear this from you.

00:01:03I'm going to cast my magical unconfusion spell.

00:01:06Lack of confusion.

00:01:08That is the Genesis song we will be singing tonight.

00:01:11Jeez, I thought that was something on my background.

00:01:13It is, in fact, just something on my monitor.

00:01:16So yes, you are allowed some privacy in this life.

00:01:22You are allowed some privacy.

00:01:25Do you think I have told my wife every woman I ever dated?

00:01:29I have not.

00:01:32You're allowed privacy.

00:01:34Yeah, you're allowed privacy.

00:01:35You're allowed to not answer questions.

00:01:37You're allowed to not be upfront.

00:01:41You're allowed privacy.

00:01:42If you don't want to talk about something in your past,

00:01:44I mean, you've heard me say this a million times in call

00:01:46and shows.

00:01:47Don't talk about anything you're not comfortable.

00:01:48If you don't want to answer this question, that's totally fine.

00:01:52So if you made bad dating decisions in the past,

00:01:57you dated someone who turned out to be a stalker,

00:01:59and you've dealt with it.

00:02:00You've gone to therapy.

00:02:01You've done all the self-knowledge,

00:02:04understanding that you need to do,

00:02:06and all that kind of stuff, right?

00:02:08Well, why would you want to bring it up?

00:02:12And why would you have to?

00:02:15You're allowed to.

00:02:16You're allowed to have privacy.

00:02:18Hello, JP, not Morgan.

00:02:19Nice to see you.

00:02:21You're allowed to have privacy.

00:02:22You're allowed to have things you don't talk about.

00:02:24You're allowed to take some things to the grave.

00:02:26There are some things I will take to the grave.

00:02:29I've thought about, at least once a month,

00:02:31I think about the couple of things

00:02:33I'm planning on taking to the grave.

00:02:34Maybe I will.

00:02:35Maybe I won't.

00:02:36But I ain't talking about them right now.

00:02:39So yeah, I'm allowed privacy.

00:02:45Am I allowed privacy?

00:02:46Am I allowed the things that I don't talk about?

00:02:48Sure.

00:02:49You don't owe everyone everything all the time,

00:02:51no matter what.

00:02:54I mean, some things are just implicit

00:02:58and don't need to be made explicit,

00:03:00like the guy who was talking about StaffBot AI on Sunday.

00:03:04So if you are, how old was she?

00:03:0650?

00:03:09No, I think she was older than that.

00:03:11Oh, maybe she wasn't, right?

00:03:12So if you're talking to, let's say

00:03:15you're talking to a single mom, and the single mom is 40,

00:03:18and she's got two kids by two different men.

00:03:20Do you think she made some bad choices in the past?

00:03:23Yes, she did.

00:03:24So do you need her to unpack all of that?

00:03:27Nope.

00:03:29Right?

00:03:29You hope that she's learned from them,

00:03:31and you can ask questions to figure out

00:03:32if she's learned from them.

00:03:34But can you imagine if you have a sex tape, right?

00:03:38Imagine you have a sex tape.

00:03:41And would you show it to a woman on the first date?

00:03:48Hey, I want to be honest, so here's

00:03:49the sex tape I have with the football team.

00:03:53She's been through a lot of dick, right?

00:03:55So here's the sex tape I made when I was a R-selected pirate

00:04:03monster of Fleshy Union.

00:04:05No, it's real.

00:04:07It's honest.

00:04:07It's true, right?

00:04:09I mean, do you call your wife in and say, wow,

00:04:12look at that dookie.

00:04:12It spells out dolphin in kanji.

00:04:16I'm not flushing this.

00:04:17This is a piece of atomic perfection

00:04:19that deserves to be in the Louvre.

00:04:21No, of course not, right?

00:04:25Nope.

00:04:27Well, this is an old cartoon I remember reading,

00:04:30which was if you're thinking about Raquel Welsh

00:04:34under a waterfall in the nude, and your wife comes in and says,

00:04:38what are you thinking about?

00:04:40You're allowed to have a little privacy.

00:04:42It's OK to have a bit of mystery in your life.

00:04:45You don't owe everyone everything all the time.

00:04:48Now, if somebody says, well, tell me

00:04:54about your past dating stuff, you can say,

00:04:57you know, I had some good dates.

00:04:59I had some bad dates.

00:05:00I had some good relationships.

00:05:01I had some not so good relationships.

00:05:03I've learned my lessons.

00:05:04And I really want to commit to the here and now.

00:05:06I've done therapy.

00:05:07I've done all the self work.

00:05:08So you're allowed.

00:05:09What's wrong with that?

00:05:10You don't have to answer everyone.

00:05:12That's free will, people.

00:05:14Free will, which means you are not a typewriter

00:05:18to be programmed by other people's preferences.

00:05:20So you have to unpack your heart from the top to the bottom.

00:05:25Somebody says, do you have to name every dirty skin

00:05:27mag you ever read in a shop, even when under 18?

00:05:30Does it matter 30 years later when

00:05:32you stop looking decades ago?

00:05:33No.

00:05:36It's totally fine.

00:05:38See, philosophy is not supposed to program you

00:05:41into being an automaton.

00:05:43Well, someone has asked me a question.

00:05:46I'm committed to honesty.

00:05:47Therefore, I have to tell them.

00:05:52No, you don't.

00:05:54You can say, I really don't want to talk about that

00:05:56if that's all right.

00:05:58That's honest, isn't it?

00:06:00Philosophy isn't there to pro- well, you've got to be honest.

00:06:03So you know, if someone you have a great deal of suspicion,

00:06:09you're really suspicious of them because they've

00:06:11got a really thick accent.

00:06:13And they're asking you weird questions on the phone,

00:06:15and then say, can I get your social security number?

00:06:17Well, I've got to tell them, because I

00:06:20know my social security number.

00:06:22They're asking for it.

00:06:23I've got to tell them.

00:06:26Come on.

00:06:29Please, please, please.

00:06:30Please, please, please.

00:06:34Hey, where are my tips?

00:06:35Just kidding.

00:06:36I can wait.

00:06:40All right, we'll get them.

00:06:42I'm sure I'll find a way to earn them.

00:06:47How concerned should I be that if I broadcast

00:06:49what I'm looking for that some women will successfully deceive

00:06:52me?

00:06:53Well, do you have bros watching your back?

00:06:55Do you have people not sexually attracted

00:06:57to the woman you're sexually attracted to trying to tell you

00:06:59the truth about the woman?

00:07:00Because if you don't, you're in trouble.

00:07:04I'm in trouble.

00:07:08Hi, Steph.

00:07:09Are we Molly Ri- are we blah, blah, blah.

00:07:12I remember those good old days when I could formulate

00:07:15an actual sentence.

00:07:16Good times.

00:07:17All right.

00:07:18Hi, Steph.

00:07:18Are we morally required to attend to people in a car

00:07:21crash if we come across them versus protecting myself

00:07:24or my children in the car from the trauma that

00:07:26might be experienced?

00:07:27Many thanks.

00:07:31Well, of course, when I was younger,

00:07:32I'd have given you one answer.

00:07:34Now I'm giving you another answer.

00:07:39Really?

00:07:43Yeah, honestly, if you only have $2, I feel bad.

00:07:47I feel absolutely wretched.

00:07:48If you only have $2, please don't send it to me.

00:07:51Because if it's your last $2, you

00:07:52need to spend it on bus fare to get a job,

00:07:54not on an online philosopher.

00:07:56So please, please, please don't send me the $2.

00:07:59It's just heartbreaking to me and not good.

00:08:01I really, really feel bad about that.

00:08:03And I don't have any way to refund it particularly easily

00:08:06in a live stream.

00:08:06So yeah, just do me a solid.

00:08:10So in general, we have gone from a high-trust society

00:08:16to a low-trust society.

00:08:18And that's been the result of people's specific choices,

00:08:20in particular, to do with voting.

00:08:22So if people have voted to turn a relatively high-trust

00:08:25society into a relatively low-trust society,

00:08:29then I feel much less obligated to help people in need.

00:08:37Right?

00:08:38So for instance, when I was younger,

00:08:41if I saw a woman in trouble, and I can tell you

00:08:43this from absolutely specific examples, when I was younger,

00:08:49I lived right downtown.

00:08:52And I came out of my apartment building.

00:08:56I actually lived in one room with two other guys.

00:09:00Well, the apartment was three guys.

00:09:02I lived in one room.

00:09:03And I came down, and I walked across the street,

00:09:07and there was a big guy who was threatening

00:09:10a woman in a wheelchair.

00:09:14So I intervened.

00:09:17I told him to please back off and give her some space.

00:09:21And then I took her for dinner because she looked hungry.

00:09:25And then she tried to chisel more money out of me,

00:09:27at which point I would say that my sympathy evaporated just

00:09:29a tiny bit.

00:09:31But I intervened.

00:09:33I intervened.

00:09:34I'm not entirely sure that I would do that now.

00:09:37In fact, I'm quite sure that I wouldn't.

00:09:40Because let's say that you're in Sweden, right?

00:09:44Let's say you're in Sweden.

00:09:46And in Sweden, a woman is getting

00:09:48harassed by some people who may not

00:09:51have been around in Sweden, say, 100 years ago or 50 years ago.

00:09:57Well, we no longer live in quite as high a trust to society.

00:10:01And so I would not, in particular,

00:10:05feel the same level of motivation.

00:10:10I am no longer of the opinion that we should do really

00:10:14much of anything to prevent people

00:10:19from experiencing the consequences

00:10:22of their own bad decisions.

00:10:26That's where I am in life as a whole,

00:10:29that I do not think that I'm going

00:10:31to spend a lot of effort to help people

00:10:34avoid the consequences of their own bad decisions.

00:10:45So you are not, see, a lot of times now, people will send,

00:10:51they'll set up, not a lot of times, sometimes now,

00:10:53not a lot of times, sometimes now,

00:10:55people will set up something that looks like a car crash.

00:10:58You stop to help them, and they jump you

00:11:00and steal your wallet, your phone, your car,

00:11:03and maybe your kidney.

00:11:06Sorry, that's just the way things are these days.

00:11:14And that's the result of people's specific choices.

00:11:19And of course, women have told me for decades and decades

00:11:22and decades.

00:11:23Women have told me that masculinity is toxic, bad,

00:11:28patriarchy, male chauvinist pig.

00:11:31How dare I treat a woman any differently from a man?

00:11:35Men and women are equal.

00:11:37Men don't add anything other than oppression and trauma.

00:11:45And we're just bad as a whole.

00:11:48We're just bad as a whole.

00:11:53And women can do absolutely everything that men can do.

00:11:57So the way that I operate in society

00:12:00is I generally treat women as if they're men,

00:12:05because I was told to.

00:12:06And I accept this.

00:12:08I accept that this is what people want,

00:12:09that they want me to be sex blind, because I'm sex blind.

00:12:15Because I'm sex blind.

00:12:17Can't live without you.

00:12:19So I was told to be sex blind.

00:12:21And hey, I accept that.

00:12:23That's what people want.

00:12:24And it doesn't do many harm.

00:12:25In fact, it makes my life considerably better

00:12:28to be sex blind.

00:12:31I'm splendid.

00:12:33So if a woman is being harassed by a man,

00:12:38I treat her as if I would treat a man, because, I mean,

00:12:42unless it's a relative or whatever it is, right?

00:12:45Family member.

00:12:47In which case, look out, harasser.

00:12:49But yeah, some random stranger on the street?

00:12:55Oh, no.

00:12:56No, no, no.

00:12:57I would not want to impose my toxic masculinity

00:13:01on the empowered woman who can do everything a man can.

00:13:04So I'll treat her as a man.

00:13:09Yeah.

00:13:12I accept what people are saying.

00:13:19And so another example would be the deplatforming.

00:13:23So the deplatforming, 95% of people

00:13:26can't go one website over.

00:13:28So OK, so my philosophical analysis

00:13:32of current events in politics is not

00:13:34particularly important to them.

00:13:36OK, good.

00:13:36Well, since it was coming at extreme risk to me,

00:13:39and it's not that important to them, hey, no thanks.

00:13:43Then I won't do it.

00:13:44It wasn't like it was a huge amount of fun to do.

00:13:46I think I was pretty good at it.

00:13:49But if people don't want philosophy in politics

00:13:54in current events, then I won't give them that, right?

00:13:57Of course, right?

00:13:58I mean, if you have, I don't know, booger spinach ice cream

00:14:02and no one orders it, then you stop offering booger spinach

00:14:04ice cream, right?

00:14:06So women have said that they don't need men,

00:14:09that men are unnecessary, that they can do everything

00:14:13that a man can do, that we're toxic, and so on.

00:14:15And you could say, yes, but not all women.

00:14:17And it's like, yeah, but they haven't really

00:14:21gone out much on the limb to oppose

00:14:23the women saying these things.

00:14:24And so yeah, I mean, this is what you want.

00:14:30I will not impose any sex differences on society.

00:14:35Right?

00:14:39It's like in the Jack Reacher movie where he says,

00:14:42remember, you wanted this.

00:14:43Yeah.

00:14:45Yeah.

00:14:48A former close friend of mine who introduced me to you

00:14:51stopped listening to you because you didn't go all in

00:14:53on certain issues you spoke about previously

00:14:55after you were deplatformed.

00:14:58Right.

00:15:01Right.

00:15:02Now, I tell you this, man.

00:15:05You know this phrase, 20-20 hindsight?

00:15:0820-20 hindsight.

00:15:09Oh, should have said this, right?

00:15:12And I very rarely get that because usually my brain cooks

00:15:19fairly well in the moment.

00:15:20And I don't often get that sort of wish I had said this.

00:15:23But I think it was Sunday, the guy who was hassling me

00:15:26about StephBot AI and controversial topics

00:15:30or whatever, right?

00:15:30So I could have just said, well,

00:15:33if you care about these controversial topics,

00:15:36show me where you've posted publicly under your own name

00:15:38about these controversial topics.

00:15:41And of course, if you haven't, then, right?

00:15:44So if your friend is like, well, Steph

00:15:45didn't go all in on controversial issues,

00:15:48it's like, well, has he published

00:15:50under his own name his particular perspective

00:15:54and opinion on these controversial topics?

00:15:57So if he hasn't, then he doesn't really care that much about it.

00:16:00And if he has, which he hasn't, then maybe he'd

00:16:03have some reason to critique.

00:16:05But Steph, you should have done this.

00:16:10You should have done that.

00:16:12You know, and it's interesting because I never, ever

00:16:14get that from people who've actually done shit, right?

00:16:21The bitching about what I should and shouldn't have done,

00:16:28the people who bitch about that are generally

00:16:31punk-ass cowards who've never done anything

00:16:34under their own name or taken any particular risk,

00:16:37in general, in general.

00:16:38I'm sure there are exceptions.

00:16:40But when the anonymous accounts say to me,

00:16:43Steph, you should have done this, that, and the other,

00:16:45it's like, oh, really?

00:16:48Listen, I'm phoning in from 1,400 miles away

00:16:52from the battlefield, but here's how I think you should fight.

00:16:59He actually posts under a fake name all day, every day,

00:17:01on Twitter, whining about it.

00:17:02Yeah, well.

00:17:06Yeah, hey, Steph, go poke that bear while we go hide.

00:17:10Yeah.

00:17:14Yeah.

00:17:16Yeah, listen, I mean, here's the thing.

00:17:19So if people are mad at me about not talking about,

00:17:21I don't know, topic X, Y, or Z at the moment,

00:17:23if they're mad about me, I don't understand that.

00:17:27I mean, unless they're just manipulative cowards,

00:17:30in which case I do understand it, but I don't understand it.

00:17:36So if there's a huge market for a particular topic

00:17:40and I'm not talking about it, that's

00:17:44a massive market opportunity, right?

00:17:49What a massive, massive market opportunity.

00:17:52So let's say that I'm going to use ice cream shop analogies,

00:17:56nothing related to my daughter's place of employment.

00:17:58It's just easier.

00:18:01So if there's a really hot town, I don't know, Florida,

00:18:06really hot town, and there's only one ice cream

00:18:08store in that hot town, and it's right

00:18:13on the route of where people drive through,

00:18:16and there's a big building shaped like a giant Tasty

00:18:21Freeze or whatever, right?

00:18:24And then some guy's like, eh, I don't

00:18:26want to do ice cream anymore.

00:18:28And he just shuts up.

00:18:31He says, take me for free.

00:18:33You can have this building for free.

00:18:38And he just walks away.

00:18:40He just goes and wants to weave baskets in Bali

00:18:42or open up a snorkel shop in Belize, right?

00:18:49So now there's this big, old, empty-ass ice cream

00:18:52store in a fantastic location in a hot place,

00:18:55and it's yours for the taking for free.

00:18:59You don't even have to pay.

00:19:07You know where I'm going with this, right?

00:19:09So let's say I stopped talking about certain topics.

00:19:14I walked away from the ice cream store.

00:19:17So why on earth are 1,000 people bitching and whining

00:19:20and complaining and nagging me about going back and opening

00:19:23the ice cream store?

00:19:24It's right there.

00:19:26Open it.

00:19:27Do it.

00:19:28It's a market opportunity.

00:19:30If you think the ice cream store is incredibly essential,

00:19:35and it's super important that I continue

00:19:37to run the ice cream store, and I say, I'm not going to,

00:19:41you can go move into the fucking ice cream store,

00:19:44and you can sell all the Slurpees you want.

00:19:47It's free.

00:19:48Take it on.

00:19:50Market opportunity.

00:19:52Go for it.

00:19:55No, no, no.

00:19:56I just want to trail after you and complain

00:19:58that you need to go back and open in the ice cream store,

00:20:01and you need the ice cream store.

00:20:02We need the ice cream store.

00:20:03You got to do the ice cream store.

00:20:05It's right there.

00:20:06Go open the fucking ice cream store

00:20:08and sell all of the Chuck 99s that you want.

00:20:11It's right there.

00:20:13What a market opportunity that would be for you.

00:20:15It is for you.

00:20:16I'm walking away from these topics.

00:20:17Go for it, brother.

00:20:19All yours.

00:20:19But no, I can't do the ice cream store.

00:20:21You got to do the ice cream store.

00:20:23I don't do the ice cream store.

00:20:23Only cowards wouldn't do the ice cream store.

00:20:25You're kidding me.

00:20:27That's how they sound.

00:20:28Honestly, they're like kamikaze.

00:20:34They're like kamikaze mosquitoes burrowing

00:20:36into the bone marrow of my brain.

00:20:38Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

00:20:42They are funny, funny, funny.

00:20:44Thank you, Matt.

00:20:45They are funny.

00:20:46It's just so obvious, right?

00:20:49Well, Steph, you need to get back in the ring

00:20:51and talk about this.

00:20:53You need to go open that ice cream store again.

00:20:56It's right there, man.

00:20:57It's free.

00:20:57Yours for the taking.

00:20:58Go for it.

00:20:59Go for it.

00:21:05Oh, it's very, very funny.

00:21:10Even anonymously, they won't do it.

00:21:14And yet, they want me as a public, well-known person.

00:21:21I'm using my own name.

00:21:25The Anon accounts won't do it, but they want me.

00:21:38Yes, yes, yes.

00:21:40It's so, listen.

00:21:43I'm going to get a little bit X right now, a little bit X,

00:21:51a little bit X.

00:21:54It's, in particular, really pathetic and pitiful

00:21:59when men do it.

00:22:03Provoking other people to do your fights

00:22:06is not the most masculine of approaches

00:22:11to things in the world.

00:22:17You should do what I'm chicken to,

00:22:19because otherwise, you're a chicken.

00:22:25Yes, please, tell me all about cowardice, Anon account.

00:22:33It's great.

00:22:36Oh, absolutely delightful.

00:22:38I do love that people do this kind of stuff.

00:22:41I really do.

00:22:42I really do.

00:22:45I just think it's delightful.

00:22:46All right, let's get back to your comments over there.

00:22:50How concerned should I be that if I broadcast

00:22:52what I'm looking for, that someone will successfully

00:22:54deceive me?

00:22:55We did that.

00:23:00Yeah.

00:23:01How do I judge bad people?

00:23:03How do I judge if someone's bad?

00:23:06Well, would you like the answer to that?

00:23:10Hit me with a why if you'd like a 10-second answer

00:23:15to figure out if someone is good or bad.

00:23:25Death of interest, it appears to be.

00:23:30So the way you can find out someone is bad

00:23:33So the way you can find out someone is bad

00:23:35is you meet their friends and family.

00:23:38And you realize that they cannot be better

00:23:41than the least quality of their relationships.

00:23:43They cannot be more virtuous than the most

00:23:45corrupt of their relationships.

00:23:47They cannot be a better person than their least

00:23:53moral relationship.

00:23:54That's it.

00:23:56That's it.

00:23:57It's as simple as that.

00:24:00Which is why, if you want quality people in your life,

00:24:03you can't have trashy people in your life.

00:24:04If you want good people in your life,

00:24:06you can't have bad people in your life.

00:24:07If you want to have people with integrity in your life,

00:24:09you cannot have corrupt people in your life.

00:24:11Because anybody with half an ounce of brains

00:24:13and a decent amount of integrity will simply

00:24:15look at your social circle and say, oh, OK,

00:24:17if you're half surrounded by losers and trash people

00:24:20and manipulators and so on, well, then that's

00:24:24those are your values.

00:24:27This is nothing new, right?

00:24:30Judge a man by the company he keeps.

00:24:31This was an old saying when I was a kid.

00:24:33Judge a man by the company he keeps.

00:24:35Judge a person by the company.

00:24:37So if she's got these woo girls and a party and tequila

00:24:41and blah, blah, blah, it's like, OK, well,

00:24:43then you just have a bunch of addicts masquerading

00:24:45as sex symbols around you.

00:24:47And that's who you are.

00:24:48That's who you are.

00:24:50It's absolutely not true.

00:24:53It's absolutely simple.

00:24:57Absolutely simple to find these things.

00:25:06Absolutely simple.

00:25:09And this is why I keep telling people,

00:25:10have quality people around you.

00:25:13Because it's the seen versus the unseen.

00:25:19It's the seen versus the unseen.

00:25:23You don't know how many people are passing you

00:25:27by because of the people in your life,

00:25:30because you'll never see them.

00:25:31They'll see you from a distance.

00:25:33They'll evaluate you from a distance.

00:25:34Or maybe they talk to you for a few minutes.

00:25:36You don't really notice anything.

00:25:38And they are seeing deeply whether you're

00:25:42a good guy or a bad guy, have integrity or don't,

00:25:45whether you're willing to sacrifice virtue

00:25:47for the sake of social approval or morality for loneliness

00:25:51or whatever, right?

00:25:59So you don't know.

00:26:06You don't know.

00:26:07You can't see them.

00:26:10You can't see them.

00:26:12You don't know how many people that you know.

00:26:16Somebody saying, oh, you know, a friend of mine

00:26:20daughter is looking for a guy.

00:26:24And they pass you over because you've

00:26:26got crappy people in your life.

00:26:29You don't know how many people are saying, oh, yeah,

00:26:32Bob really needs someone to take over his business.

00:26:35And they never think of you, or they bring you up

00:26:37and discard you because of bad habits,

00:26:41bad people in your life.

00:26:43You don't know how many people are talking about you

00:26:46and then passing you over because

00:26:49of the people in your life.

00:26:51You don't know how many people are looking at your dating

00:26:55profiles, heading on over to your Instagram or your Twitter

00:26:58and seeing who you post photos with, and they trash people.

00:27:06Right?

00:27:10Right?

00:27:13You don't know how many people pass you by or pass you over

00:27:18because you've got trash planet around you

00:27:20like the orbiting rings of Saturn

00:27:22that no one can break through, or nobody

00:27:24wants to break through, or nobody's

00:27:25bothered to break through.

00:27:30Some woman finds you attractive on a dating app.

00:27:33She goes over to some social media platform.

00:27:36She finds you.

00:27:37She finds your parents.

00:27:38And your parents are publishing articles about how great

00:27:41it is that, by God, some parents at least

00:27:45know how to discipline their kids.

00:27:52Or they find you interesting on Instagram.

00:27:54They go to some other place, and they

00:27:56see you posting a bunch of pictures

00:27:57with a bunch of drunks.

00:28:03Joe says, there was a woman I liked,

00:28:05and she was surrounded by trash friends.

00:28:07I am no longer interested.

00:28:08Right.

00:28:11Right.

00:28:16Right.

00:28:17You don't know, as a woman, how many men are interested in you.

00:28:21They head over to your Instagram page,

00:28:23and there you are celebrating your friend's divorces.

00:28:29Oh, great, so I could start dating a woman

00:28:32with a whole lot of divorced friends.

00:28:35Nope.

00:28:37Nope, nope, nope.

00:28:40Will not do it.

00:28:44Thank you, but no thanks.

00:28:46I'm sorry, we're closed.

00:28:50Right.

00:28:52How many people pass you by, and you don't even know it?

00:29:00Is having a social media account a green flag?

00:29:01I can see both sides for having or not having.

00:29:05I don't mean it's fine, but you have

00:29:08to look at your social media presence

00:29:10through the eyes of a virtuous person who's skeptical

00:29:18and has been burned and is looking for a good person.

00:29:21When they get to your social media account,

00:29:26are they finding someone of quality?

00:29:35Because are you going to sit there and try and engage

00:29:39in some battle with her friends?

00:29:40Like if, let's say, you're interested in some woman,

00:29:43she's just surrounded by trashy, tardy, tattooed, divorced,

00:29:47single mom friends.

00:29:48I mean, that's an extreme.

00:29:49It could be any number or combination

00:29:51of these and other things.

00:29:54OK, are you going to start engaging in some big battle?

00:29:57She says, oh, come meet my friends.

00:29:59Are you going to be a hypocrite?

00:29:59Or are you going to say, nah, I don't like him?

00:30:02Because then she's going to go, and she's going to say,

00:30:04he doesn't even like my friends.

00:30:05Oh my, oh, girl, you got to dump him.

00:30:07Oh, dump him?

00:30:08But you know, women's friends are everything.

00:30:11If he doesn't like your friends, he's a control freak.

00:30:22Very sad.

00:30:28All right, any other thoughts, questions, issues, challenges,

00:30:32support, donations?

00:30:33Don't forget.

00:30:35And don't forget, freedomain.com slash donate.

00:30:37You get the truth about the French Revolution.

00:30:48Here's another picture, says the woman, of me on a yacht.

00:30:53I'm traveling.

00:30:55Yes, we all know what you're riding

00:30:58to get from place to place.

00:30:59And it ain't a train.

00:31:00Or maybe it is a train.

00:31:01I don't know.

00:31:07All right, we have light questions today.

00:31:22Is it enough to approach women individually?

00:31:24Or would it be strongly advisable to also broadcast

00:31:26so they can find me?

00:31:28Oh my god, man, talk to women.

00:31:34Talk to women.

00:31:37I was at a wedding this week and talked to some of the men

00:31:40there at the wedding.

00:31:41And my advice was the same.

00:31:42Just go talk to women.

00:31:44More than half of men, really, about half of men,

00:31:47don't talk to women.

00:31:48They don't ask women out.

00:31:49They don't talk to women.

00:31:50How many men go up and talk to women in public?

00:31:55And it doesn't mean you corner some woman.

00:31:59I remember being at a coffee shop.

00:32:00A woman's reading a book.

00:32:01I'm like, oh, I like that book.

00:32:02What did you think?

00:32:03And if she's like, I'm busy, or she just

00:32:06gives you short answers, just move on.

00:32:07That's fine, right?

00:32:09I have a boyfriend.

00:32:10Hey, you know, just asking you about the book, but OK, right?

00:32:12So if there's some woman that you just say hi.

00:32:17Oh, that's interesting, or where are you coming from?

00:32:20I love that drink, whatever, anything, right?

00:32:22And if she's a nice, reasonable woman,

00:32:24then she'll chat with you for a couple of minutes.

00:32:25Maybe she'll let slip that she has a boyfriend or whatever.

00:32:27That's fine, right?

00:32:28Just talk to women.

00:32:30Talk to women.

00:32:33It's bizarre to me that you don't.

00:32:36But men don't.

00:32:37It's like, that's great.

00:32:38That means there's less competition.

00:32:40Means there's less competition.

00:32:42And you're dealing with people whose testosterone levels

00:32:48appear to be inverted.

00:32:51They're actually stealing testosterone

00:32:52from the women around them.

00:32:55It's good talk to women.

00:32:56See, online dating is hugely problematic

00:33:01because the woman gets to curate how she appears to you.

00:33:05She gets to curate that.

00:33:06She gets to go to just the right outfit,

00:33:08and just the right lighting, and the filters,

00:33:10and the shot from the neck up if she's

00:33:13got a skinny face and a fat body.

00:33:15You don't see her height.

00:33:17So it's hugely curated.

00:33:19It's like meeting a woman with your eyeballs pumped full

00:33:23of LSD.

00:33:23We've all been there, right?

00:33:24We've all been there.

00:33:25I've never been there.

00:33:27So the problem with online dating

00:33:28is it's innately deceptive.

00:33:31It is innately deceptive.

00:33:32She could have a wig, a lot of makeup, a girdle, a body

00:33:37shaper.

00:33:39She could not tell you how tall she is.

00:33:41You're not going to see her posture.

00:33:42You're not going to see her eye contact.

00:33:44You're not going to see her demeanor as a whole.

00:33:47You're not going to get her vibe, her aura,

00:33:48the sense of who she is.

00:33:49That all gets processed deep down in the limbic brain,

00:33:52deep down in the limbic brain.

00:33:55Deep down in the deep core lizard brain,

00:33:58you're evaluating real clearly.

00:34:02Whereas you talk to a woman in a coffee shop,

00:34:07has she got a sense of humor?

00:34:08Can she make eye contact?

00:34:10Is she hunched-shouldered and nervous and weird?

00:34:12Has she got some odd body shape that

00:34:14might indicate some dysmorphia or dysfunction in her mind?

00:34:19Talking to women in public, and by that, again,

00:34:26I'm not cornering anyone or talking

00:34:28to anyone who doesn't appear to be receptive.

00:34:30But, you know, hey, how you doing?

00:34:34It's really not that complicated.

00:34:39Oh, but it's scary.

00:34:40It's like, sure, yeah.

00:34:41Yep, absolutely.

00:34:43It's scary, sure.

00:34:46It's scary, sure.

00:34:48But that's a good sign, which means

00:34:51few other men are doing it.

00:34:52So you're going to win.

00:34:54God, I don't understand.

00:34:58Hey, how you doing?

00:35:00Just a smile.

00:35:03Maybe she's going to be cold.

00:35:05Maybe she's going to get up and storm out.

00:35:06Great, then you just saved yourself time

00:35:08because she's not a nice person.

00:35:10A nice woman will exchange a few words with you, no problem.

00:35:14And then she may, oh, I've got to finish this assignment.

00:35:17So sorry, it'd be nice chatting to you.

00:35:18She'll let you know.

00:35:19That's a nice, well, you want a nice woman.

00:35:21You want a nice woman, not some witch with a capital B

00:35:24who's going to make you feel this high for daring

00:35:27to talk to Her Majesty or some hyper-programmed feminist who

00:35:33sees every man as a rapist.

00:35:40So yeah, you talk to a woman.

00:35:43And that way, you can filter out very quickly

00:35:45who's got any sense of politeness and decorum,

00:35:48who knows how to have a basic human interaction that's

00:35:51positive and friendly.

00:35:55So yeah, just talk to girls.

00:36:02Half the dates that I had were just

00:36:06me talking to girls in public.

00:36:08You say, ah, Steph, but you're so sexy, sexy.

00:36:13I was a balding guy in my 20s.

00:36:25Yeah, bookworms is good.

00:36:26See a woman reading a book, fantastic, fantastic.

00:36:32Yeah, so a woman, especially a woman reading fiction,

00:36:34always been very attractive to me, because reading fiction

00:36:38is how you learn empathy, assuming you didn't necessarily

00:36:41get it as a kid, and a lot of us didn't.

00:36:43Reading fiction is how you get empathy.

00:36:45It's how you do empathy.

00:36:46It's how you get empathy.

00:36:50Sure.

00:36:53Secular approach, sit in the coffee shop

00:36:55reading Plato's take on the Kama Sutra.

00:36:57Too subtle, maybe?

00:36:59Yes, I can bend you like Gumby and take you

00:37:02to another dimension.

00:37:03Yeah, maybe a little bit, right?

00:37:08I also like these online meetup groups.

00:37:10As someone, I went to one for tennis,

00:37:11and there were some nice fit women, also runners.

00:37:13Meetups are great to meet fit women.

00:37:16Oh, sports is king, man.

00:37:17Sports is king.

00:37:20I don't know.

00:37:21All of the nerds and losers have portrayed sports people

00:37:26as they're just dumb jocks and idiots.

00:37:28Like, no, that's just resentment.

00:37:30I get it.

00:37:31I get it, four eyes.

00:37:32It's just resentment.

00:37:33You can't throw a ball to save your life,

00:37:34and your leg goes up whenever you try to run.

00:37:36One leg just cocks up every time you try to run.

00:37:39You can't run.

00:37:40You can't jump.

00:37:41You can't throw.

00:37:42You can't catch.

00:37:43I get that.

00:37:43You're physically awkward, and you

00:37:45decided to run away from it.

00:37:48But sports is life.

00:37:50Sports teaches you just about everything,

00:37:53how to compete hard and stay friends, how to follow rules,

00:37:56how to enforce rules, how to deal with people

00:37:59who go astray, how to work together as a team,

00:38:08how to give it your all without taking it personally.

00:38:14Sports is life.

00:38:15I'm talking really sort of like pick-up sports

00:38:18or that kind of stuff, right?

00:38:20I mean, I won a pickleball tournament not super long ago,

00:38:24and it's life.

00:38:26Sports is life.

00:38:27Sports is great.

00:38:28You've got physical coordination.

00:38:29You care about exercise.

00:38:31And also, sports show that you're

00:38:33willing to suck for quite a while

00:38:34before becoming decent at anything.

00:38:36So you've got deferral of ratification.

00:38:38Sports is life.

00:38:41Sports is quality.

00:38:42And all of the propaganda of the past 40 or 50 fucking years,

00:38:45I mean, you need jerks, idiots, meatheads.

00:38:48Nope.

00:38:49That's just Zeta male resentment at people

00:38:55who have not pushed through because of vanity, right?

00:39:03Vanity is the enemy of progress.

00:39:09I always talk to women when I'm looking

00:39:10at books at the thrift store.

00:39:12Today, I talked to an older woman

00:39:13who happened to be an objective.

00:39:14It's pretty cool.

00:39:16Well, the problem is you're probably

00:39:19not going to meet a quality woman in a thrift store.

00:39:25I could not for the life of me imagine picking up a woman.

00:39:28Not that I'm any sort of standard,

00:39:30but I could not for the life of me

00:39:31imagine picking up a woman in a thrift store.

00:39:33I could not for the life of me imagine picking up

00:39:35a woman in a thrift store.

00:39:47What would be wrong about trying to pick up

00:39:52a woman in a thrift store?

00:39:53What would be unproductive about that, do you think?

00:39:58What would be the problem with that?

00:40:00Vanity is the enemy of forgiveness too.

00:40:02No, I don't believe that.

00:40:04I don't believe that.

00:40:05That doesn't mean you're wrong.

00:40:07I'm just saying I don't believe it.

00:40:09No, the enemy of forgiveness is bullshit non-apologies.

00:40:13Well, I'm sorry that you got so upset.

00:40:14I wasn't trying to upset you.

00:40:16I wasn't trying to be mean.

00:40:17I'm sorry that you got so upset.

00:40:18Hey, I'm sorry if you can't take a joke.

00:40:20No, no, bullshit non-apologies are the enemy of forgiveness.

00:40:24Yeah, any woman, if you're a guy and you're in a thrift store,

00:40:28you're broke.

00:40:30You're broke.

00:40:32Now, that's one thing if you're a 20-year-old student.

00:40:35I get that.

00:40:36But it's like being caught on a bus after the age of 28.

00:40:40It's kind of shameful.

00:40:43Sorry, I'm just telling you like it is.

00:40:49Sure, I'd love to raise three children.

00:40:51But first, I need to make sure I don't pay more than $0.50

00:40:54for a book I want.

00:40:57It's like the ultimate anti-mating display.

00:41:00Don't talk to women in thrift stores.

00:41:03Well, the woman doesn't have to be rich, yes,

00:41:05but she knows you're in a thrift store, right?

00:41:08Thank you, Durbin.

00:41:09She knows you're in a thrift store.

00:41:12You're broke.

00:41:14Equality women don't want broke guys.

00:41:17Make some money.

00:41:19Do it.

00:41:20Make some money.

00:41:21Legally, of course, but make some money.

00:41:24My god.

00:41:27Thrift store.

00:41:29Vanity destroys people's ability to apologize.

00:41:31Yeah, sure.

00:41:33Lay and wait outside the thrift store.

00:41:35I'm not sure that the Bengal tiger trap approach to dating

00:41:38is quite what we're looking for here, James,

00:41:40but don't think I don't appreciate the input.

00:41:42Actually, I don't appreciate the input.

00:41:43Just kidding.

00:41:43All right.

00:41:45Oh, dear, oh, dear.

00:41:47Steph, did you see the popular Reddit post

00:41:50about a woman who told her husband he's not

00:41:52one-night-stand material?

00:41:54The husband was distraught.

00:41:55Yeah, I did see that.

00:41:58I did see that.

00:42:02Let me see if I can find it.

00:42:08I think I did see that.

00:42:14But can I find it?

00:42:16I cannot.

00:42:18Let me just see here.

00:42:20Oh, but it was a picture, right?

00:42:22So no results for husband.

00:42:27It's like women over 40 doing a search in the world.

00:42:32If you can give me that, I've got it somewhere,

00:42:34but Lord knows it's been a while,

00:42:36so I don't have that bookmark handy.

00:42:38If you could give that to me.

00:42:40A lot of women shop at thrift stores for fashion.

00:42:43You're right, but they don't want to date

00:42:45a guy who's at a thrift store.

00:42:54Oh, dear.

00:42:58This lady was in her 70s and married,

00:43:00was not trying to date her.

00:43:01No, I understand that.

00:43:02You said she was an older woman.

00:43:04Meant by talking to women, did you

00:43:06mean only talking to women you could potentially date?

00:43:09If so, I was confused, because you mentioned

00:43:11talking to women about books.

00:43:15What?

00:43:19I'm sorry.

00:43:20Are you saying that you can only talk to women about books

00:43:24if you're not interested in dating them?

00:43:26No, I'm talking about talk to women

00:43:28that are interested in dating.

00:43:29Talk to women you find attractive.

00:43:31Hey, I exchanged three words with the elderly bus

00:43:34driver of East Asian descent.

00:43:37Well, aren't you the player?

00:43:41You see, you have to break the short circuiting of,

00:43:45I like the girl, therefore I'm retarded.

00:43:49Right?

00:43:49You know the male thing, right?

00:43:51I like the girl, therefore brain, brain, brain.

00:43:56Brain has left, blood has left brain and gone to penis.

00:44:04So you all know this as men, right?

00:44:06You like the girl, you feel retarded.

00:44:10It is an immediate, at least, standard deviation

00:44:15and a half collapse in IQ.

00:44:16Like girl, lose brain.

00:44:19Right?

00:44:20So you've got to get over that, which

00:44:21means you've just got to practice talking to girls

00:44:23that are attractive so that you learn how to do it.

00:44:27It's like any other skill.

00:44:29You don't just pick up a tennis racket

00:44:30and know how to serve, right?

00:44:33I did, in fact, misunderstand you.

00:44:35I was overly focused on the book part.

00:44:37Thank you for clarifying.

00:44:39He mentioned books and females.

00:44:44I talked to female in book place.

00:44:47It's the same.

00:44:49No, it's talking about women you want to date, right?

00:44:51And dating apps and all that, right?

00:44:53This is the realest thing ever.

00:44:55Oh, yeah, for sure.

00:44:56For sure.

00:44:57Oh, I can't speak to girl.

00:45:02And it's terrible, of course, because the more attracted you

00:45:04are to the girl, the more retarded you become.

00:45:09Sure.

00:45:11It's an anxious way of trying to protect you

00:45:14from getting your heart shredded.

00:45:17And it's a disaster, almost always.

00:45:20And it could be that you're just aiming too high, right?

00:45:23You're just aiming too high.

00:45:24You're going for some absolute monster goddess,

00:45:27and you're some broke guy with a pencil neck, right?

00:45:34But yeah, you understand that attractive women are surrounded

00:45:40by guys tripping over their own penises

00:45:43and drooling on their neckties.

00:45:47And all attractive women see is guys going,

00:45:50I don't look, and then passing out, right?

00:46:08That's all they see.

00:46:09They just see a whole bunch of idiots.

00:46:11Well, and the occasional sociopath who shows no fear.

00:46:14And sometimes they just have to, why is it

00:46:16that these attractive women ended up with these bad guys?

00:46:19It's like, because they're the only guys who will talk to them

00:46:22because you're too busy feeling insecure

00:46:25and not getting a great quality woman for your future kids.

00:46:30It's all about you.

00:46:32Dating, it's not about you.

00:46:34It's not about your ego.

00:46:35It's not about your vanity.

00:46:36It's not about making up for a bad childhood.

00:46:38It's not about getting the laugh that mommy never gave to you.

00:46:40It's not about trying to claw your way up

00:46:42through the social hierarchy.

00:46:43It's not about having a pretty piece of arm candy

00:46:45to show off.

00:46:46It's about none of that.

00:46:47None.

00:46:51None.

00:46:55What is dating about?

00:46:57Is it about your ego?

00:46:58Is it about you feeling good about yourself?

00:47:01Is it about you getting higher status?

00:47:02Is it about you proving your sexual market value?

00:47:05What is dating for?

00:47:07Why would you talk to a young, attractive woman?

00:47:09What is dating for?

00:47:12Spoiler, it ain't about you.

00:47:15It is about your future children.

00:47:18Yeah, it's about your future children.

00:47:20Lust is when you serve your balls rather than

00:47:24their contents, which is sperm for making future children

00:47:26that you want a wonderful woman to raise well.

00:47:31Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

00:47:35If you're approaching a woman in bad faith, what you want to see

00:47:40is you want to see a woman with a great sense of humor,

00:47:42a good smile, a friendly affect, not paranoid, not jumpy,

00:47:48not propagandized, not aggressive.

00:47:51Nice, friendly woman.

00:47:52Why?

00:47:53Because, because she's going to raise your kids.

00:48:04So if you're approaching a woman based upon lust, desire, thirst,

00:48:10and status, and loneliness, then it's about you.

00:48:14And a quality woman will get that that's about you

00:48:17and will want you to be somewhere orbiting Demos or Phobos.

00:48:23You can choose.

00:48:29One of the first things that I thought about when I met the woman I'd

00:48:32been now married to for 22 years, one of the first things I noticed

00:48:35or thought about was, man, she'd be a great mom.

00:48:38She's great with kids.

00:48:39She's very funny.

00:48:40She's very patient.

00:48:41She's very kind, very thoughtful, and a strong person, very moral.

00:48:47Phew, man, she'd be a great mom.

00:48:52And that's what sustains the love.

00:48:55Lust is unsustainable because lust gets less as you go forward, right?

00:49:02Like all addictions, right?

00:49:03But virtue increases, right?

00:49:05So whatever you do in life, the longer you want the relationship to last,

00:49:09the more it has to be founded on virtue.

00:49:11Because virtue is the one thing that increases

00:49:13over the course of your life.

00:49:14And if you hook your relationship into virtue,

00:49:16you get more and more in love every day, more and more in love every day.

00:49:20Whereas if it's just lust, well, we get old.

00:49:22We get a little chunky.

00:49:23We get, you know, we get old.

00:49:25We get old.

00:49:26We get old.

00:49:27We get old.

00:49:28We get old.

00:49:29We get old.

00:49:30We get old.

00:49:31We get a little chunky.

00:49:32We get infirm.

00:49:34We get sick, right?

00:49:35So if it's just lust, then you're getting on a plane that's going to go down.

00:49:41Get it?

00:49:42Plane, go down, lust.

00:49:43Anyway, I'll diagram it later for donors.

00:49:46So one of the reasons that you get paralyzed when talking to girls

00:49:50is because you're talking to them for the wrong reason.

00:49:52You should be negotiating with a woman for the sake of your future children.

00:49:57All right?

00:49:59You should be negotiating with a woman for the sake of your future children

00:50:02and nothing else.

00:50:03You should be negotiating with a woman for the sake of your future children,

00:50:07and nothing else.

00:50:08All right.

00:50:09Reddit.

00:50:12Oh, I think I just got eye cancer.

00:50:14All right.

00:50:15My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old and together for two and a half years.

00:50:18Yesterday night, we were drinking, and one thing led to another,

00:50:20and I tried to compliment him by saying,

00:50:22he's not someone who I would hook up with or be friends with, benefit with,

00:50:27but marry.

00:50:29And he said, I don't know.

00:50:30I don't know.

00:50:31I don't know.

00:50:32I don't know.

00:50:33I don't know.

00:50:34I don't know.

00:50:35I don't know.

00:50:36I don't know.

00:50:37I don't know.

00:50:38I don't know.

00:50:39I don't know.

00:50:40I don't know.

00:50:41I don't know.

00:50:42I don't know.

00:50:43I don't know.

00:50:44I don't know.

00:50:45I don't know.

00:50:46I don't know.

00:50:47I don't know.

00:50:48I don't know.

00:50:49I don't know.

00:50:50I don't know.

00:50:51I don't know.

00:50:52I don't know.

00:50:53I don't know.

00:50:54I don't know.

00:50:55I don't know.

00:50:56I don't know.

00:50:57I don't know.

00:50:58I don't know.

00:50:59I don't know.

00:51:00I don't know.

00:51:01I don't know.

00:51:02I don't know.

00:51:03I don't know.

00:51:04I don't know.

00:51:05I don't know.

00:51:06I don't know.

00:51:07I don't know.

00:51:08I don't know.

00:51:09I don't know.

00:51:10I don't know.

00:51:11I don't know.

00:51:12I don't know.

00:51:13I don't know.

00:51:14I don't know.

00:51:15I don't know.

00:51:16I don't know.

00:51:17I don't know.

00:51:18I don't know.

00:51:19I don't know.

00:51:20I don't know.

00:51:21I don't know.

00:51:22I don't know.

00:51:23I don't know.

00:51:24I don't know.

00:51:25I don't know.

00:51:26I don't know.

00:51:27I don't know.

00:51:28I don't know.

00:51:29I don't know.

00:51:30I don't know.

00:51:31I don't know.

00:51:32I don't know.

00:51:33I don't know.

00:51:34I don't know.

00:51:35I don't know.

00:51:36I don't know.

00:51:37I don't know.

00:51:38I don't know.

00:51:39I don't know.

00:51:40I don't know.

00:51:41I don't know.

00:51:42I don't know.

00:51:43I don't know.

00:51:44I don't know.

00:51:45I don't know.

00:51:46I don't know.

00:51:47I don't know.

00:51:48I don't know.

00:51:49I don't know.

00:51:50I don't know.

00:51:51I don't know.

00:51:52I don't know.

00:51:53I don't know.

00:51:54I don't know.

00:51:55I don't know.

00:51:56I don't know.

00:51:57I don't know.

00:51:58I don't know.

00:51:59I don't know.

00:52:00I don't know.

00:52:01I don't know.

00:52:02I don't know.

00:52:03I don't know.

00:52:04I don't know.

00:52:05I don't know.

00:52:06I don't know.

00:52:07I don't know.

00:52:08I don't know.

00:52:09I don't know.

00:52:10I don't know.

00:52:11I don't know.

00:52:12I don't know.

00:52:13I don't know.

00:52:14I don't know.

00:52:15I don't know.

00:52:16I don't know.

00:52:17I don't know.

00:52:18I don't know.

00:52:19I don't know.

00:52:20I don't know.

00:52:21I don't know.

00:52:22I don't know.

00:52:23I don't know.

00:52:24I don't know.

00:52:25I don't know.

00:52:26I don't know.

00:52:27I don't know.

00:52:28I don't know.

00:52:29I don't know.

00:52:30I don't know.

00:52:31I don't know.

00:52:32I don't know.

00:52:33I don't know.

00:52:34I don't know.

00:52:35I don't know.

00:52:36I don't know.

00:52:37I don't know.

00:52:38I don't know.

00:52:39I don't know.

00:52:40I don't know.

00:52:41I don't know.

00:52:42I don't know.

00:52:43I don't know.

00:52:44I don't know.

00:52:45I don't know.

00:52:46I don't know.

00:52:47I don't know.

00:52:48I don't know.

00:52:49I don't know.

00:52:50I don't know.

00:52:51I don't know.

00:52:52I don't know.

00:52:53I don't know.

00:52:54I don't know.

00:52:55I don't know.

00:52:56I don't know.

00:52:57I don't know.

00:52:58I don't know.

00:52:59I don't know.

00:53:00I don't know.

00:53:01I don't know.

00:53:02I don't know.

00:53:03I don't know.

00:53:04I don't know.

00:53:05I don't know.

00:53:06I don't know.

00:53:07I don't know.

00:53:08I don't know.

00:53:09I don't know.

00:53:10I don't know.

00:53:11I don't know.

00:53:12I don't know.

00:53:13I don't know.

00:53:14I don't know.

00:53:15I don't know.

00:53:16I don't know.

00:53:17I don't know.

00:53:18I don't know.

00:53:19I don't know.

00:53:20I don't know.

00:53:21I don't know.

00:53:22I don't know.

00:53:23I don't know.

00:53:24I don't know.

00:53:25I don't know.

00:53:26I don't know.

00:53:27I don't know.

00:53:28I don't know.

00:53:29I don't know.

00:53:31And the loins.

00:53:33So she's saying that she would totally fuck a guy right away

00:53:41if she found him sexy enough,

00:53:43but that has nothing to do with who she'll marry.

00:53:45And what that means is that her heart

00:53:49and her loins are completely at odds with each other.

00:53:52And what that means is she's going to have an affair.

00:53:57Because she's saying, you don't turn me on that way.

00:54:03It is the equivalent of the Madonna whore complex, that a man wants to have sex with

00:54:09a woman and he wants her to enjoy the sex, but if she enjoys the sex she's a whore and

00:54:14he's no longer attracted to her.

00:54:21So she's saying that the guys I really want to have sex with and you are not in the same

00:54:32category.

00:54:36You are not in the category of guys I really want to have sex with.

00:54:40So what's she there for then?

00:54:41Well she's there for her husband, she's there as you say for resources, she's there for

00:54:44stability, she's there because she can't get the fuckboys anymore.

00:54:49Maybe she's there for that, maybe she's there because she's 28, so maybe all the hot guys

00:54:54she wants to have sex with are now going for the 22 year olds.

00:55:05So yeah, the reason that he's upset about it is she's signaling she's going to have

00:55:09an affair.

00:55:10So she's saying, I'm not sexually attracted enough to you to have sex with you quickly,

00:55:18so I'm not that sexually attracted to you, but I sure know what it is to be sexually

00:55:23attracted to other men, that I know.

00:55:26So I'm willing to put up with you for some XYZ reason that has nothing to do with sexiness,

00:55:31but man am I ever going to remember what it's like to just rip someone's clothes off and

00:55:38bang them like a T-Rex gong, right?

00:55:49So he's probably concerned that she's going to be having sex with him but thinking about

00:55:54some fuckboy, right?

00:55:59So she's not sexually pair-bonded with him and she's going to get dissatisfied with him

00:56:03because he doesn't scratch that itch, and then she's going to go elsewhere.

00:56:12And then she's going to pass off a kid as his.

00:56:16That would be my guess, because there's usually like, whether it's a very strong emotional

00:56:22reaction, usually genes are involved, just so you know.

00:56:29There's usually some gene, like why would he get so, why would man as a whole be so

00:56:34upset, right?

00:56:37Why would the woman be like, well it's a compliment, and the man would be like, it's really not.

00:56:41Because the woman always knows the child is his, but the man doesn't.

00:56:47So if the woman is not sexually attracted to him in the way that she is to other men,

00:56:51she's going to miss it, she's going to want to get that itch scratched, so she's going

00:56:54to go and have an affair, which means he may end up raising another man's kids, which is

00:56:57a complete disaster for a man.

00:57:01Absolute, one of the worst things that can happen to a man is to raise another man's

00:57:05child without his knowledge.

00:57:08That is one of the most catastrophic things that can happen to a man.

00:57:15There's almost no equivalent for women.

00:57:19And the fact that women don't understand this means that, see, it has been probably 80 years

00:57:26or 90 years since women have even thought about trying to understand the male perspective.

00:57:31I mean, I write about this in my novel, The Present, which if you haven't read, my God,

00:57:34what are you doing?

00:57:35Stop listening, honestly, stop listening to this and go listen to my novel, The Present,

00:57:38which is a huge cry in parts, a lot of things in that book.

00:57:42One of the huge cries in that book is, for God's sakes, can we try and empathize with

00:57:46men a tiny, tiny little bit?

00:57:49Women are like, well, it's incomprehensible to me, I'm saying, I'm saying I want you to

00:57:52be my husband.

00:57:53And I'm like, yes, and you're saying that the most sexy guys are not your husband.

00:58:01The most sexy guys are not your husband, which means I'm not sexy enough for you to stay

00:58:06monogamous, which means I'm going to end up raising another man's kid.

00:58:11I mean, biologically, right?

00:58:12So whenever you see a big difference between men and women, just look at the genetic strategy,

00:58:18right?

00:58:19Just look at that.

00:58:21A woman who has a steady provider and a hot guy on the side is living the dream, in a

00:58:28way, right?

00:58:32So for them, it's like, yeah, what's wrong with that, right?

00:58:37But they don't think about it from the man's perspective, right?

00:58:40It's very hard, because women have really been trained out of trying to have empathy

00:58:45for men.

00:58:46It's really, really sad.

00:58:47It's tragic to try and look at it from the man's perspective, right?

00:59:04That means she's there for the resources and the stability, not for the sex appeal.

00:59:13That means the man's genetic legacy is hugely at risk.

00:59:18All right, question from a young lady.

00:59:23Hi, Steph.

00:59:24Ever since I become a mom last year, I can't help but feel resentment towards my husband.

00:59:28Ever since I stopped working and decided to be a stay-at-home mom, I am somewhat jealous

00:59:32of my husband's life.

00:59:34He has a fancy high-status job and often goes on business trips in five-star hotels, despite

00:59:38an average income, while I'm at home mostly alone with our baby, up all night, never done

00:59:43with the household.

00:59:44How do I overcome my jealousy and the feeling or longing for status?

00:59:51That's a very interesting question.

01:00:01That is a very interesting question, and I appreciate you bringing that up.

01:00:07Trying to think of the best angle of attack, just like on my honeymoon.

01:00:12Trying to think of the best angle of attack for this, it's a very big and deep and complicated

01:00:18question.

01:00:19Come on, people, a donation or two would not slaughter thy wallet.

01:00:26Freedomain.com slash donate, or you can donate right here in the app, on Locals, or on the

01:00:30app on Rumble.

01:00:35All right.

01:00:47Average income.

01:00:53Why does he have a fancy high-status job, going on business trips in five-star hotels,

01:01:01while only having an average income?

01:01:04Actually, I don't understand that.

01:01:14You don't have to tell me exactly what he does, but a fancy high-status job, business

01:01:20trips in five-star hotels, usually means high income.

01:01:32Or good income, for sure.

01:01:35If you can just help me to understand that, I would really, really appreciate it.

01:01:41I'm sorry to just pause here for a sec while that comes cooking in.

01:01:44Obviously, it's a little bit easier when it comes to call-in shows, because I can just

01:01:54ask this directly, but I need a bit of an answer to that, because I'm not sure how he

01:01:58gets all of these benefits without good pay.

01:02:04I mean, I've had the job where you go to five-star hotels, and so on, but somebody says, I wish

01:02:12your novel, The Present, could have been the average high schooler's reader list.

01:02:16So many teens would learn so much, although the writing is definitely adult.

01:02:20I don't know.

01:02:22Joe, don't do that.

01:02:23Nope.

01:02:24Nope, nope, nope.

01:02:25Don't do that.

01:02:26Don't do that.

01:02:27That's cruel, mean, vicious, and underhanded.

01:02:30Don't do that.

01:02:31Don't do that.

01:02:33That's absolutely wrong.

01:02:37Absolutely the wrong thing to do.

01:02:39Thank you for the donation, Adam.

01:02:40I appreciate that.

01:02:41All right.

01:02:42Is she here?

01:02:43I don't know if people are typing or not, but I can't really continue without it.

01:02:53And the reason I need to know that is, if he's making a lot of money, then just hire

01:02:57some help.

01:03:02If he's making a lot of money, then get a maid to come in.

01:03:04If he's making a lot of money, have someone come do the laundry.

01:03:06If he's making a lot of money, then pay for help with raising the kids and running the

01:03:12household.

01:03:13That would take down your resentment, right?

01:03:15So I don't know why he's away doing all this fancy-schmancy stuff without much income.

01:03:25This is odd to me.

01:03:27All right.

01:03:29Are we getting something here?

01:03:34I just want to make sure.

01:03:50So if you get labor-saving devices because of your husband's income, right?

01:03:57So let's say you have pretty decent washer-dryers and dishwashers and fridges and freezers.

01:04:04Because your husband's making money, you get a bunch of labor-saving devices.

01:04:08Then you should look not at the work you have to do, but at the work you don't have to do.

01:04:13So much of life and happiness is about looking at the things that you have rather than the

01:04:21things you don't have.

01:04:26Kyra says, donated 75 bucks at FDR.

01:04:29Let's effing go.

01:04:30Come on, people.

01:04:315,000-plus podcasts, multiple books, risked his life in Hong Kong, stood up to the EU

01:04:36parliament, has multiple employees that have to eat too, help out staff of the boys, please.

01:04:40Thank you.

01:04:41I could not have put it better myself, and I quite, quite, quite agree.

01:04:46All right.

01:04:47I don't even know if she's here anymore.

01:04:48Why aren't you answering the question?

01:04:49I'm going to ask you a complicated question and then ghost you.

01:04:55And then ghost you.

01:04:58Excellent.

01:04:59All right.

01:05:00Well, I'm going to just have to plow on.

01:05:01I don't know where you've gone.

01:05:02I've given you a couple of minutes to respond.

01:05:06So if your husband's making decent money and you get to stay home, you can sit there

01:05:12and say, I can't believe I have so much work to do.

01:05:14Or you can say, thank goodness I have all of these labor-saving devices and a husband

01:05:18who loves me enough to work for me to stay home and spend time with my wonderful children.

01:05:24He just started the job, doesn't have much experience yet.

01:05:26He makes $100,000 a year, which is OK, but not enough to hire help.

01:05:32We live in an expensive country.

01:05:36He makes $100,000, which is OK.

01:05:45Is there such thing as an expensive country?

01:05:49I mean, all countries have expensive and less expensive places, don't they?

01:05:56I mean, $100,000 US?

01:06:00I assume you're putting that in US dollars.

01:06:03What is that?

01:06:04Let's see.

01:06:05I don't know what the exchange rate is.

01:06:08So that's almost $136,000 Canadian.

01:06:16I'm just going to go with Canadian, right?

01:06:19So that's $11,320.20, $11,320 a month.

01:06:32Having a little bit of a tough time.

01:06:34Finland and Norway are pretty expensive, Sweden, too, I guess, since the average tax rate is

01:06:39around and above 50%.

01:06:42Well, that's Switzerland, OK.

01:06:47All right.

01:06:50House, cheapest houses in Switzerland.

01:06:55I'm just, this is just for me.

01:06:59This is just for me.

01:07:04All right.

01:07:07The cheapest localities to buy a house in Switzerland are Rebavellier, with the median

01:07:11price per meter squared at CHF 1,872.

01:07:14OK, that's just not even in English.

01:07:17All right, let's see here.

01:07:21All right, quiet and spacious, five and a half rooms, 160 square meters, $3,108.

01:07:33Quiet and sunny with open views, a chalet, 40 square meters, $63,000 Canadian.

01:07:42House for sale in Lausanne, Switzerland, $88,964, sunny, quiet location, chalet with

01:07:49three rooms, $95,000, interesting.

01:07:54Rustic house in Seroville, four rooms, 70 square meters, $119,000, all right.

01:08:02Quiet among nature, Erigma Chalet, $141,000.

01:08:06It doesn't look wildly different from Canada.

01:08:12It doesn't look wildly different from Canada.

01:08:16But price, OK, let's say, what can we get for $400,000?

01:08:25What can we get for $400,000 in Switzerland?

01:08:32These are all ones I've seen before, but we shall find more.

01:08:36Let's see, can we just do a sort here?

01:08:40Filters, no, I don't want any of that.

01:08:42I'm just wondering, can I sort by price?

01:08:46Expensive first, OK, so what do we get for $400,000 in Switzerland?

01:08:54Two and a half rooms, $398,000, overlooking landscape, chalet, $398,000,

01:09:01Mayenne with barn on three small plots, $398,000,

01:09:05farm to renovate with nice potential, $398,000,

01:09:09brand new house in the center of the village of Alet.

01:09:13That's rough, yeah, two rooms, one bedroom, one bath, $380,000.

01:09:18OK, I'm just going to go to one other last thing.

01:09:23Let's say, let's go to $650,000, and we go most expensive first.

01:09:29Yeah, so I just want to make sure I understand.

01:09:32Just want to make sure I understand.

01:09:34Four and a half rooms, $637,000, yeah, OK, oh, that's nice, $637,000.

01:09:43So yeah, it doesn't, 10 rooms, wow, 10 rooms, 104 meters squared,

01:09:48that's $637,000.

01:09:51So OK, I just wanted to get some sort of sense of that.

01:10:01I'm not a woman, but I can see how a husband being on constant business

01:10:04trips would be a bit of a downer.

01:10:06Did he have the job when you met him?

01:10:12Yeah, $143,000 Canadian, yeah.

01:10:15Steph, last night my son was born, a happy and healthy baby.

01:10:18Thank you for all that you do.

01:10:19I wouldn't have gotten to this point in my life

01:10:20without listening to you and applying the principles you

01:10:22espoused and putting in the work.

01:10:23Thank you, and we'll donate when I get a wink of sleep.

01:10:25God bless.

01:10:26I appreciate that.

01:10:27I would like you to take that donation and buy something nice for your wife

01:10:31or your son.

01:10:32Congratulations, I appreciate that.

01:10:34That is super kind.

01:10:35Your donation is becoming a father and being a peaceful parent.

01:10:38Thank you, thank you, thank you.

01:10:40Congratulations.

01:10:44OK, so I'm not saying get a live-in maid or a live-in nanny.

01:10:48Let's see here.

01:10:50Hourly maid prices, Switzerland.

01:10:54All right, how much did you charge for cleaning services in Switzerland?

01:10:59Please, God, give it to me in something that's not francophonic.

01:11:05Let's get it francophonic.

01:11:10Oh, God.

01:11:13All right, so I'm going to give you a little bit of a discount.

01:11:18I'm going to give you a little bit of a discount.

01:11:20Oh, God.

01:11:22All right, so you can get CHF.

01:11:27I'm going to go CHF to CAD.

01:11:29I just want to make sure I understand, right?

01:11:33CHF, CAD.

01:11:35All right, oops.

01:11:36No, no, no, no, no.

01:11:38CAD, thank you very much.

01:11:39All right, so let's see, about $150.

01:11:44So for $239, you can get a three-hour clean.

01:11:50So a three-hour clean is quite a long time.

01:11:53You can get a lot of stuff done in three hours.

01:11:59So, I mean, you help your husband with his job,

01:12:02so he should help you with being at home.

01:12:08So I know these are sort of practical things,

01:12:11but I just want to sort of make sure I understand that, right?

01:12:15Now, how often is he going on these trips?

01:12:24And is there any chance you can go with him?

01:12:26Is there any chance you can go with him, right?

01:12:28Wouldn't it be nicer to be in a hotel?

01:12:30The hotel room's already paid for.

01:12:32So if he's in a hotel room, why not just go to that hotel room

01:12:36and hang out, maybe order some room service,

01:12:39and go down to the pool and all kinds of fun stuff?

01:12:43So is there any chance that you can go on the business trip

01:12:47with him to sort it out that way?

01:12:55Now, it's Switzerland.

01:12:57Pardon me, so I assume that if it's within Switzerland,

01:12:59you can get there by train,

01:13:00so you can go on the train trip with him and so on,

01:13:03and then you get a nice, free hotel room,

01:13:05and maybe that's something you could do.

01:13:07We are saving for a house, though, right?

01:13:14So then I don't have any sympathy.

01:13:17Sorry.

01:13:18I'm sorry, my sympathy just completely dried up.

01:13:21My apologies, I could be totally wrong,

01:13:23but if you want to save for a house,

01:13:26then you're going to have to do housework.

01:13:28Am I missing something here?

01:13:30It's like saying, well, I really, really,

01:13:32I borrowed a lot of money, Steph.

01:13:34I'm really upset that I have to pay it back.

01:13:36It's like, but you borrowed the money.

01:13:39Once a month, no chance going with him.

01:13:41No families allowed, okay?

01:13:43So he goes away once a month,

01:13:44and how long does he go away for?

01:13:48Once a month, how long does he go away for a week?

01:13:51How long does he go away for?

01:13:55But if you want to start a new job,

01:13:58and have children, and save for a house at the same time,

01:14:02then your life's going to suck.

01:14:05I mean, you've got to mix up your variables, people.

01:14:08You can't do it all at once.

01:14:13So you've got kids, your husband's started a new job,

01:14:18and you're saving for a house.

01:14:21Well, you can't go with him.

01:14:23You can't afford to stuff in to get help,

01:14:27so you are, because you're saving for a house,

01:14:31so you can't afford a maid, I guess, right?

01:14:33So then, yeah, then if this is a choice that you've made,

01:14:39so resentment is when we make a choice,

01:14:42and then we get mad at the effects of that choice.

01:14:44That generally is what resentment is, right?

01:14:48Like if you choose not to exercise,

01:14:50and then you pull a muscle running up the stairs,

01:14:55you resent that, oh man, right?

01:14:57But the resentment is,

01:14:57well, you chose to pull a muscle by not exercising, right?

01:15:03If you choose to live in a monogamous married relationship,

01:15:06and you say, well, I resent the fact

01:15:07that I can't go sleep around,

01:15:08it's like, but you made that choice, right?

01:15:10The best way to avoid resentment is to own your choices.

01:15:15Right?

01:15:17Isn't that the best way to avoid resentment?

01:15:19So if you say, well, my husband starts a new job,

01:15:21he's gotta work really hard,

01:15:24he goes away once a month,

01:15:27and I can't afford any help around the house

01:15:29because we're also saving for a house,

01:15:31or you can't afford it if you're an apartment

01:15:33or something like that,

01:15:34well, then you are upset

01:15:38at the results of your choices.

01:15:42And to be upset at the results of your choices

01:15:45is a very bizarre position to me.

01:15:49Right?

01:15:54Like, I chose to talk about controversial topics,

01:15:58and I got de-platformed, okay?

01:16:02What, am I gonna get mad?

01:16:03Worth it for me,

01:16:05because remember, I got a 500-year-plus business plan.

01:16:08I'm like an ancient Chinese emperor.

01:16:11So I don't want to be approved of in the present.

01:16:16I want to be important in the future.

01:16:19And being important in the future as a philosopher

01:16:21means you have to accept condemnation in the present.

01:16:26Now, I don't wanna, I'm gonna be dead,

01:16:28what is it gonna matter whether I'm important?

01:16:30It won't matter to me at all.

01:16:31I'm important, it won't matter to me at all.

01:16:33I'll be dust for worms centuries before.

01:16:36But it means that philosophy would say,

01:16:37my God, how could he have predicted all of these things?

01:16:39How could have been right about all of these things?

01:16:41Philosophy must have strange power.

01:16:43Because now the world is catching up

01:16:45to all the shit I was talking about 15 years ago.

01:16:54I mean, all the people who get frustrated

01:16:55about being overweight, it's like,

01:16:57but you eat a lot and you don't exercise.

01:16:59Why are you mad?

01:17:01Why are you frustrated?

01:17:02This is the inevitable results of your own choices.

01:17:06Well, you know, I chose to play video games,

01:17:08stay home and never talk to girls.

01:17:10And now I don't have much of a job

01:17:11and I don't have a girlfriend.

01:17:12Well, I don't understand why people think

01:17:17you can make the choices without choosing the consequences.

01:17:20That's what I don't understand.

01:17:21This is like a fundamentally confusing thing for me.

01:17:25You chose to have kids.

01:17:28I guess your husband doesn't make enough.

01:17:31He has to go on these business trips

01:17:33and you resent him despite the fact

01:17:35that he's paying all the bills.

01:17:38You live in a first world country.

01:17:40There's no war.

01:17:41You have all the labor saving devices known to man.

01:17:44You've got a husband who takes care of you

01:17:46and keeps you in the lap of luxury.

01:17:48You're saving for a house and you're unhappy.

01:17:52Man, that takes some work.

01:17:53I would like to think of you going back, say 500 years.

01:17:57It's just 500 years.

01:17:58Could be 100 years, could even be 50.

01:18:01Go back 500 years and explain to your ancestors

01:18:05how tough your life is.

01:18:07Oh my gosh.

01:18:09I mean, I've got vacuum cleaners.

01:18:11I've got Roombas.

01:18:13I've got great mops.

01:18:15I've got washing machines, drying machines.

01:18:18I don't have to put my,

01:18:19I don't have to scrub my laundry by hand.

01:18:21I just turn on taps.

01:18:23I get hot and cold running water.

01:18:24I get all the electricity I could possibly get hold of.

01:18:26I've got all of human knowledge sitting in my back pocket,

01:18:31but I resent things.

01:18:39Come on.

01:18:41I have been de-platformed.

01:18:45As far as potent philosophers go,

01:18:48I have the best fucking deal in human history.

01:18:54I have, and I'm not trying to make this about me.

01:18:56I'm just telling you how to have the attitude of gratitude.

01:19:01Happiness is nothing more or less

01:19:05than the things in life you're willing to be grateful for.

01:19:10Happiness is nothing more or less

01:19:11than the things in life you're willing to be grateful for.

01:19:22Women used to work 16 to 18 hours a day

01:19:27because they didn't have freezes or fridges

01:19:32or hot and cold running water or laundry machines

01:19:37or space heaters or air conditioning or lawnmowers.

01:19:48And you have all the labor-saving devices known to man,

01:19:51and you have a husband who pays all your bills,

01:19:53and you have healthy children,

01:19:54and you and your husband are in great health.

01:19:57Well, man, if you can't be grateful to this,

01:19:59I shudder to think what's gonna happen

01:20:01when you age out, baby.

01:20:03Shudder to think what's gonna happen when you age out.

01:20:09Maybe it's just a post-cancer thing,

01:20:10or maybe that just kinda changed my biology

01:20:13or something like that, but.

01:20:20Aren't we incredibly fortunate

01:20:21to be alive in the time that we are?

01:20:25Aren't we incredibly fortunate

01:20:29to be alive in the time that we are?

01:20:30I managed to skate through to my late 50s,

01:20:33never got conscripted for a war.

01:20:36Do you know how rare that is throughout human history?

01:20:40I had an ankylose tooth.

01:20:42In other words, when I was a kid,

01:20:44my tooth never separated from my jawbone.

01:20:48I had to get that torn out, chipped away.

01:20:54You know, 75 years ago, I probably would've died.

01:21:01Think about the infections you get

01:21:03that could've killed you in the past,

01:21:08that you just take a couple of pills and you're fine.

01:21:13Think about anesthetic.

01:21:14Think about nitrous oxide.

01:21:17Think about laughing gas at the dentists.

01:21:21Think about supplements.

01:21:23Think about aspirin.

01:21:26Just think about going back 200 years,

01:21:31living a week, you'd come back into your life

01:21:35and you'd never, ever have the urge

01:21:38to be ungrateful or unhappy again.

01:21:48If you are missing companionship

01:21:51and you feel isolated and lonely,

01:21:57I could be more rude, but I'd be nice,

01:21:59because you're a new mom and I appreciate that

01:22:01and it's tough, I understand.

01:22:04But if you are unhappy because you feel isolated,

01:22:10then organize a group to get together with.

01:22:19Organize a group to get together with.

01:22:21Have cleaning parties.

01:22:22I'm not kidding about this.

01:22:25Say, I can't take it.

01:22:27I can't take doing my house all the time.

01:22:30So have cleaning parties.

01:22:32Bring your kids over, let them play

01:22:34while you clean the house.

01:22:35So have cleaning parties.

01:22:37Bring your kids over, let them play

01:22:39while you clean each other's houses.

01:22:41All together, right?

01:22:43You ever seen dental equipment from 1900?

01:22:46Yeah, I mean, many years ago,

01:22:47I read a biography of Charles Dickens

01:22:50and of course, he was training to be a doctor

01:22:52and then he saw one bowel operation on a boy

01:22:58and he threw up, passed out

01:22:59and was never gonna be a doctor again

01:23:01because the only thing they had back then was alcohol.

01:23:06Go read about the Civil War or the First World War.

01:23:13I mean, one of the things that makes me eternally grateful

01:23:15for the life that I have is, as a kid,

01:23:17reading about the First World War.

01:23:20And I'm not saying never be unhappy,

01:23:22but are you as grateful for all that you have

01:23:26as you are unhappy for that which you miss?

01:23:32You know, if somebody were to give you

01:23:35a billion dollars tomorrow,

01:23:36you'd be absolutely thrilled.

01:23:42And if, in a year from now,

01:23:43you had a disease that was gonna kill you

01:23:45and you had to give up a billion dollars

01:23:46in order to survive,

01:23:47you would give that billion dollars up

01:23:49in order to survive,

01:23:50which means good health is worth a billion dollars at least

01:23:53because you go to some old guy

01:23:55or some guy who's dying who's a billionaire

01:23:57and say, I can make you well for a billion dollars,

01:24:00he'd be like, take it all, take it all!

01:24:03Take it all, take 10 billion.

01:24:05I don't care, take it all, just give me my health.

01:24:07So every day that you have health,

01:24:10you have an infinity of money just by breathing.

01:24:22If you cannot be grateful

01:24:27for all that modernity provides you,

01:24:32you make your ancestors cry.

01:24:36And your life would be incomprehensible to them,

01:24:46or your complaints about your life

01:24:47would be incomprehensible to them.

01:24:54You say, I can't help but feel resentment

01:24:55towards my husband.

01:24:56Of course you can!

01:24:58Resentment is a choice!

01:25:02It is a choice.

01:25:03It is a willed state of mind.

01:25:05Look, if somebody, Laurence Olivier,

01:25:08marathon man style decides to black and decker

01:25:10through your incisors,

01:25:11you're gonna feel massive amounts of pain

01:25:13because somebody just drilled through your tooth.

01:25:16Resentment is a state of mind.

01:25:18Resentment is a choice, it is a perspective.

01:25:30Ever since I stopped working

01:25:31and decided to be a stay-at-home mom,

01:25:32I'm somewhat jealous of my husband's life.

01:25:37I'm at home mostly alone with our baby.

01:25:38Why are you alone?

01:25:39Why are you alone?

01:25:43You've got the internet to find people

01:25:44in the neighborhood, in the region,

01:25:46in the environment.

01:25:47And maybe you have to meet 10 people before,

01:25:49or 20 people before you find someone

01:25:51that you wanna be friends with.

01:25:52Make friends!

01:25:53Build a community!

01:25:54Do something!

01:25:56You sit there and stew in your resentment?

01:25:59My God, you're not paralyzed?

01:26:01You're not in an iron lung?

01:26:02You're not in a coma?

01:26:04If you want something in your life,

01:26:06go make it!

01:26:08Make it!

01:26:11If you're tired of being alone,

01:26:15make a community.

01:26:16If you're tired of being lonely,

01:26:17talk to a woman.

01:26:19If you don't have friends around,

01:26:20make some friends.

01:26:24But you have fallen down the infinite well of passivity.

01:26:31She says, I'm not unhappy or ungrateful

01:26:33for how much he makes.

01:26:34It's more the loneliness.

01:26:35We left our home country, Croatia,

01:26:36and expected at least some companionship here,

01:26:38but you're right, I should be more grateful.

01:26:40Okay, leaving your home country, Croatia,

01:26:43is a choice.

01:26:45Moving to a new country is going to necessarily involve

01:26:48having to regrow friendships.

01:26:50You are aware of that.

01:26:52You're a very intelligent woman.

01:26:53I put every listener here in the top 1%.

01:26:56You're a very intelligent woman.

01:26:58You absolutely had to understand

01:27:00that moving to a new country was gonna require

01:27:03you put out a fair bit of effort

01:27:04in order to recreate a social circle.

01:27:06You left your family.

01:27:08You left your friends.

01:27:09You left your work.

01:27:11So you know when you do that,

01:27:13you're gonna have to remake some relationships.

01:27:15And what have you done

01:27:20to make new relationships

01:27:23and solve the problem of isolation?

01:27:25Because you understand,

01:27:27once you're 18 and one second years old,

01:27:32it is no one's goddamn job

01:27:35to solve your problems.

01:27:40It is no one's job to solve your problems

01:27:41once you're 18 and one second old.

01:27:44You follow?

01:27:46If you're lonely,

01:27:49nobody has to fix that for you.

01:27:51If you're broke,

01:27:52nobody has to fix it for you.

01:27:57If you're unsatisfied, depressed, anxious,

01:28:00it's no one's job to fix that for you.

01:28:04And you know that,

01:28:05because if you're lonely,

01:28:07you don't sit there and say,

01:28:08well, my best thing,

01:28:09I have to go to my neighbors

01:28:11and see if they're lonely and fix their loneliness.

01:28:13You don't do that.

01:28:13You sit and stew in being lonely.

01:28:16You're not out there solving

01:28:17other people's problems of loneliness

01:28:19just as they're not out there

01:28:20solving your problems of loneliness.

01:28:22Everything you have as an adult,

01:28:24you have to earn.

01:28:27That's how you know you're an adult

01:28:29and not a toddler.

01:28:32I say this with emphasis,

01:28:34not with any aggression.

01:28:46Nobody owes you companionship

01:28:49or money or satisfaction or happiness

01:28:51or relief from depression or anxiety

01:28:53or stress or poverty.

01:28:55Nobody owes you healthcare.

01:28:56Nobody owes.

01:28:57You have to earn these things.

01:29:01If you sit at home

01:29:04upset with your problems

01:29:06and refuse to solve them,

01:29:07you are simply recreating

01:29:09a broken, isolated, lonely,

01:29:11and neglected childhood.

01:29:13As a child, you could not solve your problems.

01:29:16Therefore, all the problems you failed to solve.

01:29:21As a child, you could not solve your problems.

01:29:23Therefore, all the problems you failed to solve

01:29:25keep you a child mentally.

01:29:31Not many stay-at-home moms here.

01:29:33No, right, right, right.

01:29:40So you chose to move to a place

01:29:43without a lot of stay-at-home moms, right?

01:29:46All right, percent.

01:29:48Stay at, sorry, I gotta type past these microphones.

01:30:01Percent stay-at-home moms, Switzerland.

01:30:09All right.

01:30:0982% of mothers in Switzerland were economically active.

01:30:14So that just means they have part-time jobs, right?

01:30:24Fewer stay-at-home moms than in the United States.

01:30:28So you have a lot of stay-at-home moms.

01:30:31You have a lot of stay-at-home moms.

01:30:33You have a lot of stay-at-home moms.

01:30:36Fewer than one in five mothers living with a partner

01:30:38whose children are between 15 and 24 work full-time.

01:30:51All right, so let's see here.

01:30:56Bum, bum, bum, 1.5 children per woman.

01:30:59Oh my gosh, just wretched.

01:31:02Oh my gosh, just wretched.

01:31:07So fully a fifth of mothers in Switzerland

01:31:12are full-time stay-at-home mothers.

01:31:17So 20%, and very few of them, sorry,

01:31:22a lot of them work part-time.

01:31:24One in five is home full-time.

01:31:27So you just gotta find them.

01:31:29Just gotta find them.

01:31:33And if you choose not to, that's fine.

01:31:36You don't have to.

01:31:38But if you choose not to make friends,

01:31:41there's no point complaining about being lonely, right?

01:31:44I mean, if I were your husband, I would be like,

01:31:46yeah, I sympathize, so what are you gonna do about it?

01:31:50Yeah, that's tough.

01:31:51What are you gonna do about it?

01:31:52It can't be my job.

01:31:53I already have a job called

01:31:54paying for the entire household.

01:31:57What do I think of Camus, Albert Camus,

01:31:59specifically the myth of Sisyphus?

01:32:03Yeah, well, Albert Camus was a student-employing,

01:32:08a student-exploiting creep.

01:32:14It was just awful.

01:32:17So,

01:32:18the myth of Sisyphus is sort of a famous French book

01:32:21published in the Second World War.

01:32:27And,

01:32:31the idea is that there was a,

01:32:34I'm really going off sketchy memory here,

01:32:36but this was a,

01:32:41this was a,

01:32:42I'm really going off sketchy memory here, but this was a,

01:32:49Sisyphus was an ancient Greek demigod or something,

01:32:52and he took death and put death in chains

01:32:56so human beings didn't have to die.

01:33:01And after they finally captured Sisyphus

01:33:03after death was released,

01:33:05they said that he had to roll a rock up a hill for eternity,

01:33:09and every time he got to,

01:33:13every time that the rock got to the top of the hill,

01:33:16it would roll back down again.

01:33:24And the idea is that, well,

01:33:26we have these useless lives of repetition,

01:33:28but we still have to find meaning in it as a whole.

01:33:32So, I think Camus is mostly bullshit.

01:33:40Let me just make sure I've got my thoughts correctly.

01:33:52So, let's see here.

01:33:58Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

01:34:04So, the US, sorry, the French intellectuals tended to be

01:34:10left libertarian,

01:34:13which means that Camus

01:34:19is probably pretty gross as a whole.

01:34:23Now, he wouldn't have signed the famous letter in 1977

01:34:26like Jean-Paul Sartre, Derrida,

01:34:29and other intellectuals.

01:34:30Foucault, who was an absolutely repulsive,

01:34:32absolutely repulsive human being on every conceivable level,

01:34:37they signed this,

01:34:38we want to decriminalize all, quote,

01:34:41consensual sexual relations between adults and minors

01:34:45below the age of 15.

01:34:46Just absolutely horrendous.

01:34:50Absolutely horrendous.

01:34:51I enjoyed Les Tranchées, La Peste, The Plague,

01:34:55and so on with great books and all of that,

01:34:57but yeah, he was pretty,

01:35:04pretty gross.

01:35:06As a whole.

01:35:07Not as gross as some of the other French intellectuals, but

01:35:13let me just make sure I have this correct as well.

01:35:33Yeah, anyway.

01:35:35Did he come up with objective morality?

01:35:37No, he just came up with angsty, existential,

01:35:40teen despair justifications, so

01:35:43it was pretty gross.

01:35:46All right, so let's see here.

01:35:50Would you agree with the Neil Strauss quote,

01:35:52unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments?

01:35:58I could go some way along down that road.

01:36:01My partner is a stay-at-home mom in New Zealand.

01:36:03Almost everyone we know either have no kids

01:36:05or go back to work after one year.

01:36:06Her biggest issue is a lack of other stay-at-home moms.

01:36:10So you move to where the stay-at-home moms are.

01:36:15You move to where the stay-at-home moms are.

01:36:19I mean, honestly,

01:36:20maybe you're talking to the wrong guy,

01:36:22and I'm sorry if I'm being unsympathetic, but

01:36:25if you can solve a problem, solve it.

01:36:28If you can solve a problem, solve it.

01:36:30If you can't solve it, live with it.

01:36:37Right?

01:36:39If you can solve a problem, solve it.

01:36:46And if you can't

01:36:49solve it, live with it.

01:36:53Does this make sense?

01:36:54I mean, I don't mean to sound

01:36:59I don't mean to sound unsympathetic,

01:37:01but isn't this just a basic fact of life?

01:37:06If you can solve a problem, solve it.

01:37:08And if you can't solve it, accept it and live with it.

01:37:22And you have to divide the problems

01:37:24and dissatisfactions in your life

01:37:26into three categories.

01:37:29Can I fix it?

01:37:32Is it beyond my control?

01:37:34Can I fix it?

01:37:35Is it beyond my control?

01:37:37If it's beyond your control,

01:37:38you have to learn to live with it.

01:37:41I mean, you don't have to,

01:37:42but then you're just getting mad at gravity

01:37:44or aging or whatever it is, right?

01:37:47Can I fix it?

01:37:48Is it beyond my control?

01:37:49Now, the other is, can I fix it?

01:37:52Will I fix it?

01:37:53Will I live with it?

01:37:54Can I fix it?

01:37:55Will I fix it?

01:37:56Will I not fix it?

01:37:58Will I fix it? Fix it.

01:37:59If you choose not to fix it, which is fine.

01:38:01Like, I'm bald, right?

01:38:02Is it beyond my control?

01:38:04No, I could get, I have lots of hair,

01:38:06you know, side and back.

01:38:07I'm a good candidate for hair transplants.

01:38:09They could just take some hair

01:38:10and they could move it up here

01:38:11and then I'd have hair and whatever, right?

01:38:13I could do Elon Musk, right?

01:38:15Whatever, right?

01:38:16So, it is a problem that,

01:38:18if you view it as a problem,

01:38:20being bald is a problem I could fix.

01:38:24I could get some money.

01:38:26I could pay a hair transplant surgeon

01:38:30and I could get hair moved.

01:38:32I don't have this tiny little strip of hair back there, right?

01:38:35Fair amount of hair back there.

01:38:36I could just have some of it moved to the front

01:38:38and then I have hair.

01:38:39And I have hair for the rest of my life

01:38:40and I don't have to worry about losing it ever and ever in our man, right?

01:38:44But I'm not going to.

01:38:45I don't want to and I won't.

01:38:48It's a waste of money.

01:38:49It's an indication that there's something wrong

01:38:51with being bald when there is not.

01:38:52And my wife prefers me bald.

01:38:55People are, oh, you should, you know.

01:38:58You're not the one I kiss, so.

01:39:08So, that's all.

01:39:09Now, if you're overweight,

01:39:12can you solve it?

01:39:13Yes.

01:39:14If you choose not to solve it,

01:39:16then you just have to live with it.

01:39:17But to have a problem you complain about

01:39:22that you could solve but choose not to solve,

01:39:26I do not accept that anywhere in my life, in myself.

01:39:30And look, we're all tempted.

01:39:31We all do it.

01:39:32I'm not walking on water here.

01:39:35I'm just telling you that this is the way things are.

01:39:40This is the way things are.

01:39:47With the people in my life,

01:39:49and myself,

01:39:51the people in my life,

01:39:52I'll give you two or three times to complain about something.

01:39:55I will, because, you know, I care and I certainly complain.

01:39:58So, I'll give you two or three times to complain about something

01:40:02and I'll say, okay, can you fix it?

01:40:04No.

01:40:05Then you have to live with it.

01:40:10What's the point of complaining about something you can't fix?

01:40:13Do you hear me complaining about aging?

01:40:15Nope.

01:40:17I mean, I had cancer 12 years ago.

01:40:19Every day is a gift.

01:40:23Do you hear me bitching about deplatforming?

01:40:26Nope.

01:40:27I'm actually grateful for the deplatforming.

01:40:34So, we all have complaints.

01:40:35I understand that.

01:40:39And I'll listen to it two or three times.

01:40:42I will, with sympathy.

01:40:43You know, big hug.

01:40:44That's tough.

01:40:45I understand.

01:40:46Big sympathies.

01:40:47For sure.

01:40:48Absolutely.

01:40:50Are you going to do anything about it?

01:40:52Well, I can't.

01:40:53Okay, then you're going to have to...

01:40:54I don't want to hear about you complaining about something that you can't change.

01:40:57That's...

01:41:00You just have to find a way to accept it.

01:41:04For the sake of reality.

01:41:09Now,

01:41:10if somebody says,

01:41:12I'm unhappy about something

01:41:14and I want to change it,

01:41:16great.

01:41:17If you're unhappy about something and you don't want to change it,

01:41:19do you hear me complaining about being bald?

01:41:21Nope.

01:41:24What are you looking forward to the most when you become a grandfather?

01:41:28All of it.

01:41:29All of it.

01:41:30All of it.

01:41:33I'm looking forward to multiple kids, hopefully,

01:41:35if my daughter decides to have multiple kids.

01:41:37My daughter and whoever she marries.

01:41:39Be lovely.

01:41:45Yeah, we could only have one,

01:41:46but being around a family with more than one would be great.

01:41:50I'm also just looking forward to seeing

01:41:52how a quarter of my genes play out.

01:41:55Interesting.

01:42:00So,

01:42:01if somebody says I want to change something,

01:42:03then I'll give them a little bit of time to change something.

01:42:06And if they don't change something,

01:42:08I don't want to hear about it.

01:42:10I won't indulge that.

01:42:12It's toxic.

01:42:13It's wrong.

01:42:14It's unhealthy.

01:42:15It's weird.

01:42:17Isn't it?

01:42:19If somebody complains about something repeatedly,

01:42:21that they could change but choose not to,

01:42:23I'd be like,

01:42:24why are you complaining about it?

01:42:25You don't really care about it that much,

01:42:26otherwise you would have changed.

01:42:28Right?

01:42:34It really bothers me.

01:42:35Look, if you can change it,

01:42:38and it doesn't bother you enough to change,

01:42:44then clearly it doesn't bother you that much.

01:42:48Right?

01:42:51Clearly,

01:42:54it doesn't

01:42:58bother you that much.

01:43:02And so, if it doesn't bother you that much,

01:43:04I don't want to hear about complaints

01:43:06because it's just false.

01:43:08It's just false.

01:43:11Complaining is a way

01:43:13of stealing the bone marrow,

01:43:15soul juice and life energy

01:43:17of others.

01:43:36So,

01:43:39I want to see if I

01:43:43missed anything here.

01:43:46So, listen,

01:43:47I sympathize.

01:43:48I really do.

01:43:49I sympathize with the isolation

01:43:50and the feeling of resentment,

01:43:51and I sympathize with the loneliness.

01:43:53I'm not trying to say I'm not sympathetic.

01:43:56I am sympathetic.

01:43:57I really am.

01:43:59I'm so sympathetic

01:44:01that I expect you to do something about it.

01:44:03But if you're not going to do anything about it,

01:44:05it's clearly not that important to you.

01:44:09If you want to save for a house

01:44:11rather than

01:44:14pay for someone to help you with housework,

01:44:16then clearly,

01:44:17you prefer doing the housework.

01:44:21So, why would you complain

01:44:22about something you've chosen to do?

01:44:25You could take some of the money

01:44:26you're using to save for a house,

01:44:28and you could use it

01:44:30to pay

01:44:31for help around the house.

01:44:35You choose not to.

01:44:38You choose

01:44:39to save for a house

01:44:41rather than getting help

01:44:43with housework.

01:44:44So then, if you complain about an excess of housework,

01:44:46I don't fundamentally understand it.

01:44:52I mean, it's like me choosing to go to the gym

01:44:54and then complaining

01:44:56that I'm not also at a disco,

01:44:58and I'm also not watching a movie,

01:45:00and I'm also not napping,

01:45:02and I'm also not learning how to do cartwheels

01:45:04and getting a massage.

01:45:06It's like,

01:45:08but you chose to go to the gym.

01:45:10And if you chose to go to the gym,

01:45:12clearly, that's your highest priority.

01:45:14So, complaining

01:45:16that

01:45:18something that is of lower priority for you

01:45:21is not happening

01:45:25is confusing to me.

01:45:30Hopefully, this makes sense.

01:45:31This isn't too obscure.

01:45:34But,

01:45:35am I going to spend this livestream

01:45:37complaining

01:45:38that I'm not learning taekwondo?

01:45:41It's like I've chosen to do the livestream,

01:45:44which means I'm not learning taekwondo.

01:45:47Nobody forced me to do the livestream.

01:45:49I've chosen to do the livestream.

01:45:53Therefore, I'm not learning taekwondo.

01:45:55Why on earth would I spend the livestream

01:45:57complaining that I'm not learning taekwondo?

01:45:59If I really want to learn taekwondo

01:46:01more than I want to do the livestream,

01:46:03I would cancel the livestream

01:46:04and go

01:46:05do

01:46:06the learning of taekwondo.

01:46:11So,

01:46:12if you choose

01:46:13to save

01:46:14for a house

01:46:16rather than get help with your housework,

01:46:18I personally don't think that's a good idea.

01:46:20But I'm not you.

01:46:21I'm not going to tell other people

01:46:22what their priority should be

01:46:23outside of the non-aggression principle.

01:46:26So, if you choose to save for a house

01:46:30rather than getting help with the housework,

01:46:32I don't know why you would complain

01:46:34about the amount of housework.

01:46:35That's a choice.

01:46:39If you say,

01:46:40I'm kind of lonely here,

01:46:41and you chose to move countries,

01:46:45I don't understand.

01:46:46You chose to let go

01:46:47of family and friendships,

01:46:49both family,

01:46:50immediate family,

01:46:51extended family,

01:46:52friendships,

01:46:53and you chose to move to a new country

01:46:54and raise your child alone.

01:46:56So, I'm a little confused

01:46:57as to why you would complain

01:46:58about the inevitable results

01:46:59of your own choices.

01:47:03And maybe I'm missing something obvious,

01:47:07and maybe I'll need to retract all of this,

01:47:10and maybe there's something

01:47:11that I haven't thought of,

01:47:13which I'm obviously happy to hear about.

01:47:15But I can't tell you

01:47:16how relaxing and happy

01:47:17and pleasant it is

01:47:18to just say,

01:47:19yep,

01:47:20these are the results of my choices.

01:47:22I'm not going to complain

01:47:23about the results of my choices.

01:47:24I remember reading this

01:47:25from Friedrich Nietzsche

01:47:26like 40 years ago.

01:47:29Never leave your actions

01:47:30in the lurch.

01:47:34Never leave your actions

01:47:36in the lurch.

01:47:41I chose to talk

01:47:42about controversial issues.

01:47:45I had a countdown

01:47:46to deplatforming.

01:47:49I don't complain about it.

01:47:55You chose to go to Chinatown

01:47:56to eat.

01:47:57You complained about

01:47:58the lack of Italian dishes.

01:48:01Like once you

01:48:02take away from yourself

01:48:06the right to whine,

01:48:08the right to bitch about things,

01:48:10your life is so much happier.

01:48:12It's so much,

01:48:13it's almost infinitely better.

01:48:15I'm trying to take from you

01:48:16the most dangerous drug

01:48:18of complaining,

01:48:19of resenting,

01:48:20of dissatisfaction,

01:48:21of malaise,

01:48:22of frustration.

01:48:25Choose the actions,

01:48:26choose the consequences.

01:48:30I'm really trying

01:48:31to get across to you

01:48:32how wonderful your life can be

01:48:34if you simply accept

01:48:36the consequences

01:48:37of your own choices.

01:48:38So you chose to move

01:48:39to a new country.

01:48:41You chose to save

01:48:42for a house.

01:48:44You chose not

01:48:46to get help.

01:48:48You chose not

01:48:50to join

01:48:52a stay-at-home mom's group.

01:48:55You chose not

01:48:56to go and introduce yourself

01:48:57to your neighbors

01:48:58and say,

01:48:59I'm going to be home all day,

01:49:00I'm new to the neighborhood,

01:49:02is there any social thing

01:49:03that's happening?

01:49:04You chose not

01:49:05to invite

01:49:07all of your neighbors

01:49:08over for a potluck

01:49:09when you moved into

01:49:10the neighborhood.

01:49:11And I'm not complaining

01:49:12about any of this.

01:49:13I'm simply saying

01:49:14that this is the facts.

01:49:17You chose to move

01:49:18to a new place.

01:49:19You chose not

01:49:20to make new friends.

01:49:21You chose to save

01:49:22for a house.

01:49:24Rather than spend money

01:49:25getting help

01:49:26in your housework.

01:49:28So then you feel isolated

01:49:30and the housework

01:49:31seems overwhelming.

01:49:33Sure.

01:49:36But if you want

01:49:37that to change,

01:49:39you have to make

01:49:40different choices.

01:49:41You can't just rearrange

01:49:42your mental furniture

01:49:43like it's just

01:49:45a voluntary-willed thing.

01:49:48If you want to change

01:49:49how you feel,

01:49:51change your decisions.

01:49:55If you want to change

01:49:56your mental state,

01:49:58change the choices you make.

01:50:00There's no secret.

01:50:01There's no mystery.

01:50:02There's no magic

01:50:03to it at all.

01:50:05I try.

01:50:07I don't always succeed.

01:50:09But I try

01:50:10not to complain

01:50:12about my life.

01:50:14Because I genuinely believe

01:50:16that I have the greatest

01:50:17life on earth.

01:50:21I really do.

01:50:22And I thank you guys

01:50:23for this

01:50:24every day

01:50:25in my mind

01:50:26and almost every time

01:50:27I do a show.

01:50:28I absolutely thank you guys

01:50:29for giving me

01:50:30the greatest life

01:50:31in human existence.

01:50:32I am immensely,

01:50:33deeply,

01:50:34humbly grateful

01:50:35for your support.

01:50:36Freedomain.com

01:50:37slash donate.

01:50:38Pleased to help out the show.

01:50:39What are we at?

01:50:40Seven bucks tonight?

01:50:42On locals?

01:50:43That's fine.

01:50:45But if I can get

01:50:46across to you

01:50:49that your life

01:50:50is the result

01:50:51of your choices

01:50:52If you don't like your life

01:50:53make different choices.

01:50:56If you don't want to make

01:50:57different choices

01:50:59accept your life.

01:51:03Complaining?

01:51:04How do you stop resenting

01:51:05your husband?

01:51:07You are not resenting

01:51:08your husband my friend.

01:51:09My good, good friend.

01:51:10You are not resenting

01:51:11your husband.

01:51:12You are resenting

01:51:13yourself.

01:51:14You are resenting

01:51:15your choices

01:51:16which means you're leaving

01:51:17your actions in the lurch

01:51:18which means you're not accepting

01:51:19that every benefit

01:51:20comes with a cost.

01:51:21I'm doing a live stream

01:51:22not learning Taekwondo

01:51:23or Japanese

01:51:24or acupuncture

01:51:25or archaeology.

01:51:30Every choice

01:51:33comes with a cost

01:51:34and the cost is everything else.

01:51:37If you choose to stay home

01:51:38rather than make friends

01:51:39in the neighborhood

01:51:40you are choosing isolation

01:51:41and then when you say

01:51:42I am unhappy

01:51:44because I'm isolated

01:51:46or I resent my husband

01:51:47or no.

01:51:49As an adult

01:51:50you participate

01:51:51in all non-coercive choices.

01:51:54As an adult

01:51:55you participate

01:51:56in all non-coercive choices.

01:52:00You chose to move

01:52:01you chose not to make friends

01:52:02you chose to stay for a house

01:52:05rather than spend money

01:52:08on a maid.

01:52:12So you are not

01:52:13mad at your husband

01:52:14you are not resenting him

01:52:15you are resenting yourself

01:52:17and you have gone

01:52:18all rubber bones

01:52:19in your own life.

01:52:20That always ends badly

01:52:21you know that right?

01:52:22Going rubber bones

01:52:23in your own life

01:52:24where you somehow feel a victim

01:52:25of the very choices you made.

01:52:26Did anyone force me

01:52:27to talk about really

01:52:28controversial topics?

01:52:29Nope.

01:52:30Nobody forced me to do that.

01:52:31Nobody.

01:52:32Nobody forced me

01:52:33to go and march

01:52:34with the anti-communist

01:52:35protesters

01:52:36and take tear gas

01:52:37to the face.

01:52:38Nobody forced me to do that.

01:52:39Nobody forced me

01:52:40to go to Australia.

01:52:41Nobody forced me

01:52:42to go to the EU.

01:52:43Nobody forced me

01:52:44to do any of it.

01:52:45So to say I'm unhappy

01:52:46with my life

01:52:47would be to say

01:52:48that I'm happy

01:52:49with my choices.

01:52:50But if I'm unhappy

01:52:51with my choices

01:52:52I should make

01:52:53different choices

01:52:54and not just complain.

01:52:55All right.

01:52:56I don't want to

01:52:57flog the dead horse

01:52:58too much.

01:52:59Is Kamala's

01:53:00stepdaughter hot?

01:53:02Yikes.

01:53:03That's all I can say

01:53:04is yikes.

01:53:06All right.

01:53:07Any other last tips?

01:53:08Support?

01:53:09Help?

01:53:10Questions?

01:53:11Comments?

01:53:12Issues?

01:53:13Challenges?

01:53:14Problems?

01:53:15When you assign

01:53:16authorship of your own choices

01:53:17you can endlessly blame

01:53:18and complain

01:53:19with impunity

01:53:20except for when

01:53:21there's no one

01:53:22else around

01:53:23to hear it anymore.

01:53:24Well,

01:53:25the problem is

01:53:26that complaining

01:53:27is vampiric.

01:53:28Right?

01:53:29Complainers are vampires.

01:53:30They drain your energy.

01:53:31They separate choice

01:53:32from consequences

01:53:33and they pretend

01:53:34this is a weird dissociation

01:53:35where it's like

01:53:36they're standing

01:53:37over the murdered body

01:53:38at their own potential

01:53:39wondering who killed

01:53:40someone.

01:53:41People who

01:53:42and I'm not

01:53:43talking about you

01:53:44specifically

01:53:45the person

01:53:46who asked this question

01:53:47and obviously

01:53:48this is not

01:53:49a common thing

01:53:50for you

01:53:51so I'm not

01:53:52trying to

01:53:53thank you

01:53:54for the tip

01:53:55I'm not trying

01:53:56to make you feel bad

01:53:57and you're

01:53:58a minor example

01:53:59of this

01:54:00so I just

01:54:01want this to be

01:54:02a big picture

01:54:03for the other people

01:54:04who complain more.

01:54:05The other people

01:54:06who complain more.

01:54:07You're draining

01:54:08people's life energy.

01:54:09Now,

01:54:11people who are

01:54:12actually doing things

01:54:13making choices

01:54:14and taking responsibility

01:54:15for their own choices

01:54:16do not want

01:54:17to be around

01:54:18complainers

01:54:19because what

01:54:20complainers do

01:54:21is they draw you

01:54:22into a form

01:54:23of semi-catatonic

01:54:24can't breathe

01:54:25face-over-the-pillow

01:54:26paralysis

01:54:27that just

01:54:28exits the life force

01:54:29from people

01:54:30like you just

01:54:31dropped a grenade

01:54:32in a bathtub

01:54:33bloop

01:54:34off it goes.

01:54:35Man.

01:54:36People who are

01:54:37in motion

01:54:38doing things

01:54:39making their own choices

01:54:40doesn't mean

01:54:41that every choice

01:54:42you make is yours

01:54:43but it's yours

01:54:44that's what matters

01:54:45every choice I make

01:54:46is not perfect

01:54:47but it's mine

01:54:48and I won't

01:54:49abandon that

01:54:50for anyone

01:54:51or anything

01:54:52ever

01:54:53ever.

01:54:54But when you

01:54:55complain about

01:54:56your own

01:54:57life choices

01:54:58you are

01:54:59dissociating

01:55:00you are

01:55:01both yourself

01:55:02and not

01:55:03yourself

01:55:04you made

01:55:05choices

01:55:06but you

01:55:07were forced

01:55:08you made

01:55:09choices

01:55:10but you

01:55:11hate the

01:55:12completely

01:55:13predictable

01:55:14consequences

01:55:15it's like a

01:55:16guy jumping

01:55:17off a bridge

01:55:18and then being

01:55:19absolutely shocked

01:55:20and enraged

01:55:21that he falls

01:55:22that would be

01:55:23insanity

01:55:24and complaining

01:55:25about your

01:55:26own choices

01:55:27is a form

01:55:28of craziness

01:55:29and it

01:55:30dissociates

01:55:31other people

01:55:32and it's kind

01:55:33of a dare

01:55:34for other

01:55:35people to say

01:55:36no no

01:55:37it's a

01:55:38self

01:55:39ownership

01:55:40it's the

01:55:41best

01:55:42drug there

01:55:43is

01:55:44it's the

01:55:45only drug

01:55:46that gets

01:55:47better and

01:55:48doesn't wear

01:55:49off

01:55:50it's the

01:55:51only addiction

01:55:52that strengthens

01:55:53you

01:55:54self

01:55:55ownership

01:55:56your life

01:55:57is what

01:55:58you chose

01:55:59it to be

01:56:00and what

01:56:01you continue

01:56:02to choose

01:56:03it to be

01:56:04and if you

01:56:05want your

01:56:06is a trap. Come on, you know the yes but people? Well you could do this, yeah but,

01:56:12well you could do that, yeah but, or what about, yeah but, and you're just paralyzing.

01:56:19It's a form of narcoleptic, it's a horrible venom that keeps your heart

01:56:25beating and your brain working while your body gets rigor mortis and falls

01:56:29over. Rough man. Don't be one of the yes but people. I cannot undo the past, I

01:56:36can make better choices now. Found things to lift depression, now I can try to

01:56:40mitigate damage to maybe reverse the worst effects. I'm sure you can, I'm sure

01:56:45you can. Depression tends to be when you dislike your choices but won't choose

01:56:51different.

01:56:53Alright, well thanks everyone. If you're listening to this later and find this

01:57:07conversation useful and helpful and to the young lady who called in, I want to

01:57:11congratulate you on your family and if you want to do a call in you can go to

01:57:15freedomain.com slash call and I'd be happy to chat further about this and I

01:57:20do apologize if I was too harsh but I really really want you to enjoy your

01:57:26life and you can't enjoy it if you have access to the endless narcolepsy and

01:57:30drug and opiates of blame and resentment and dissociation from the inevitable

01:57:36results and entirely predictable results of your own choices. You've got a healthy

01:57:40happy family, you live in a relatively free world, we have all of the

01:57:44information of the universe at our fingertips, we can have amazing

01:57:47conversations like this, there is no better time to be. So lots of love

01:57:52everyone, if you're listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate. Remember you

01:57:56get the French Revolution for any donation through the end of the month

01:57:59and I will talk to you guys Friday night. Best of the family and the ducks, thank

01:58:04you, I appreciate that. Lots of love, take care, bye.

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