I Can't Divorce You HD ( Comedy, Romance )
I Can't Divorce You HD ( Comedy, Romance )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm sorry, sir. We're going to have to cancel your reservation.
00:00:03The car rental lot had flooded.
00:00:06I didn't have time for this.
00:00:08I was already running a little late and was trying to remember my answers to all the pre-interview questions I'd practiced.
00:00:13So I had them drop me off at the closest place.
00:00:17Excuse me.
00:00:18And then suddenly, I was standing in front of her.
00:00:22Thank you for choosing Savannah Car Rentals. How can I help?
00:00:27I can't remember which one of us smiled first.
00:00:31Hi.
00:00:32Hi.
00:00:34I just wanted to get a car.
00:00:37Okay.
00:00:42July 10th.
00:00:45I'm May 10th.
00:00:46What are the chances?
00:00:48Actually, the chances are 1 in 30, but that didn't matter.
00:00:52We both could feel something happening.
00:00:54Cool.
00:00:55So, by the end of my first four hours in Savannah, I had a job.
00:01:00And more importantly, I had a date.
00:01:07A little less than a year later, we were married.
00:01:10And to think, it all happened because some guy working for Savannah Water forgot to regulate the pressure.
00:01:26And every time I think we should remodel.
00:01:29I speak up and say, we have to go to Paris.
00:01:31Great, then let's go to Paris.
00:01:33And then I wake up the next morning and say, we have to remodel.
00:01:37You know, we've been trying to decide if we want to put a new pool in the backyard or take that trip to Cabo.
00:01:44And I'm very glad that we decided that we're going to do the pool.
00:01:48Honey, I thought we decided on Cabo.
00:01:53Yes, right. No, we're going to Cabo.
00:01:56We are going to Cabo.
00:01:57Brain fart.
00:01:58Wow.
00:01:59That must be Katie and Chuck.
00:02:01Where are the wines?
00:02:02She's white, he's red.
00:02:05Hi.
00:02:09Katie, are you okay?
00:02:11Where's Chuck?
00:02:14I mean, that's why all these jobs are moving to Florida and Texas.
00:02:17There's no state income tax.
00:02:18You know, part of me has always kind of wanted to live in Texas.
00:02:20What about all those tornadoes? It's so dangerous.
00:02:23That and I'm up in Florida.
00:02:24You know, Florida's great. It's right next door.
00:02:26Well, they have a lot of hurricanes.
00:02:29And not to mention the humidity.
00:02:33We're supposed to go to Florida this summer.
00:02:37Is this who's getting married?
00:02:40We have the plane tickets already and the hotel and my...
00:02:45My...
00:02:48Bridesmaid's dress.
00:02:50And he even said it was going to be like our second honeymoon.
00:02:55But then he screwed a girl he met online.
00:03:01Katie, would you like to lie down or...
00:03:05Guys, I'm fine.
00:03:18I'm going to be a divorce wedding planner.
00:03:22That's great.
00:03:24More Syrah, anyone?
00:03:26Yes.
00:03:27Yeah.
00:03:30Oh, Steve and Sabrina just liked our photo.
00:03:34They just said, where's their invite?
00:03:36I've always liked them.
00:03:38Yeah, they're nice. We haven't seen them in a while.
00:03:40We should invite them to the next barbecue.
00:03:42Maybe we could have a cookout competition.
00:03:44I mean, he's always bragging about his brisket.
00:03:46It's not that good.
00:03:47No, it's too dry.
00:03:52No way.
00:03:53What?
00:03:57Chuck just changed his status to single.
00:04:00He did?
00:04:01Yeah.
00:04:03Well, that is disgusting. You should unfriend him.
00:04:07No, okay.
00:04:10I mean, it's up to you.
00:04:12Only do it if it's what you really want.
00:04:26I'll make you wish the sun would hide away.
00:04:35I won't feel alone when I'm right in front of you.
00:04:40If I have your fingers on the window pane.
00:04:48I won't make you worry if things come up.
00:04:54I'll leave you wondering whether you're to blame.
00:05:00I won't tear you down, call your name.
00:05:04I'll laugh at your pain.
00:05:07I won't sacrifice your hopes and dreams.
00:05:11I won't hate your shame.
00:05:13I won't beat you, I'll burn you.
00:05:17I'll hang you out to dry.
00:05:22Here's to him.
00:05:24If he goes, I'll buy you the first three rounds.
00:05:27If he doesn't, though, you owe me.
00:05:29I can take that.
00:05:30Prove me right, Nate.
00:05:31No, no, no. Prove me wrong.
00:05:32We got an extra ticket for the game tonight.
00:05:34And he thinks if we offer it to you, you won't go.
00:05:36He thinks you will.
00:05:37It's the first three rounds on the winner.
00:05:39God, guys.
00:05:41I can't.
00:05:43I would love to, but I can't.
00:05:45Tonight, I've got plans.
00:05:46Susan, steak tips, game shows, wait in line.
00:05:50That was last night, actually.
00:05:51No, tonight's remodeling shows.
00:05:53Susan and I are redoing the new bathroom,
00:05:54and she'll kill me if I missed it.
00:05:56But I'll go with you guys next time.
00:05:58You realize you tell us that every single week, right?
00:06:01Look, it's cool.
00:06:02Just tell us you'd rather go home and hang with your wife.
00:06:04We'll stop asking.
00:06:05No, it's just, if I start going out on guys' nights,
00:06:08then she'll start going out on girls' nights.
00:06:09And then, before you know it,
00:06:11I'm only going to see her on the weekends.
00:06:14And that's wrong because?
00:06:16Weekends are for projects.
00:06:18Projects?
00:06:19Yeah, mowing the lawn, painting the trim,
00:06:21building a new deck.
00:06:23Look, Susan and I made a commitment
00:06:25to make our commitment work.
00:06:26And you know what that takes.
00:06:27Masochistic guilt.
00:06:29No, it takes commitment.
00:06:31Look, when you guys find the right relationship,
00:06:34you love that commitment.
00:06:37No, man, you're right.
00:06:39You're right.
00:06:40I mean, we're just going to go to the game.
00:06:43We're going to get hammered.
00:06:45We're going to probably embarrass ourselves
00:06:47in front of some co-eds.
00:06:48Oh.
00:06:49But you'd rather go home to your wife.
00:06:51That's amazing.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:53Seriously, man.
00:06:54You're kind of lucky.
00:06:57I tell myself that every day.
00:06:59Just to clean down these walls.
00:07:01That is a great idea for a backsplash.
00:07:03What do you think?
00:07:05I don't know.
00:07:06What do you think?
00:07:08Maybe.
00:07:10Yeah, maybe.
00:07:14Love you.
00:07:15Love you, too.
00:07:18Well, we want to do the infinity pool.
00:07:21Mm-hmm.
00:07:22It looks amazing, but...
00:07:23Oh, grab your glasses.
00:07:24He's recently changed his name.
00:07:28Hi.
00:07:29Hi.
00:07:30Hello.
00:07:33I can't eat it.
00:07:35I thought you loved cheesecake.
00:07:38I do, but I made a deal with Debra.
00:07:42She stops using her passive-aggressive manipulation
00:07:44to make me go visit her mother,
00:07:46and I lose 10 pounds.
00:07:49Oh.
00:07:50Well, commitment takes compromise.
00:07:53No.
00:07:54It takes ignorance.
00:07:57What's this?
00:07:58Some event the city's hosting.
00:08:00They were looking for a design for the new concert hall.
00:08:03Oh, cool.
00:08:04Are you going?
00:08:05Christ, I wish.
00:08:06But I've got Debra's third annual
00:08:09organic guacamole competition
00:08:11that she hosts every year with her sisters.
00:08:13Oh, that sounds fun.
00:08:14Yes, if you don't have a dick.
00:08:17You should go to that, though.
00:08:19Free food, free booze, and who knows?
00:08:22You might even get inspired to design something.
00:08:26Right.
00:08:29It's the wife.
00:08:33Time to compromise.
00:08:36Hey.
00:08:38Hey, I left some frosting off the list this morning,
00:08:41so can you pick some up?
00:08:43It's in aisle three next to the flour.
00:08:46Yeah, but frosting for what?
00:08:48Well, I told Dan and Jan that we would bring a cake on Friday.
00:08:54Nate?
00:08:55Yeah, sorry.
00:08:56I, um...
00:08:58Do we really want to go to that?
00:09:00I mean, I don't know.
00:09:02Do we really want to go to that?
00:09:04I mean, it's just to celebrate
00:09:05the first day of construction on the new pool.
00:09:08Well, what else would we do?
00:09:10Well, I was thinking the city's hosting this event
00:09:14to find architects to design the new concert hall,
00:09:17and I don't know, I thought it would sound like it could be fun.
00:09:21Susan?
00:09:22Yeah, yeah, no.
00:09:23I mean, we could go,
00:09:25but last time we went to one of those things
00:09:27you were bored out of your mind
00:09:29and you made me promise that we would never go again.
00:09:32Besides, we already told Dan and Jan we would be there.
00:09:36Yeah, you know what?
00:09:38It was unbearable.
00:09:40Intolerable.
00:09:42But it's up to you.
00:09:44Only do it if it's what you really want.
00:09:51Hello?
00:09:54Susan?
00:09:58What's wrong?
00:09:59It just hit me, okay?
00:10:01This wave of emotion, this feeling, and...
00:10:06I don't know how to describe it, but...
00:10:09every part of me realized that every part of me is just...
00:10:12Unhappy?
00:10:14Miserable.
00:10:16Miserable?
00:10:18Miserable?
00:10:20How's that even possible?
00:10:22I mean, one minute I'm on the phone
00:10:24and we're debating, like, what to do Friday night,
00:10:26and then the next you tell me that you're miserable?
00:10:28I mean, how the fuck is that even possible?
00:10:30It just is, okay?
00:10:33No.
00:10:35No.
00:10:36Listen to me.
00:10:40I'm sorry.
00:10:42I'm sorry.
00:10:45Let's talk about this.
00:10:48What can we do?
00:10:50What can I do to fix this?
00:10:55I wish I knew.
00:11:05I really think I just needed to put this all in perspective.
00:11:10I mean, what marriage didn't have a little bump in the road?
00:11:13A hill to climb.
00:11:17I figure that when our friends heard about this Friday night,
00:11:20they'd cut the cake and toast to Nate's night out.
00:11:31Good morning.
00:11:33Nate! What the hell are you doing?
00:11:35I just thought we could talk. I brought us some coffee.
00:11:37Okay, but don't just barge in on me when I'm naked.
00:11:40What are you talking about? I've seen you naked a thousand times.
00:11:42I don't get what the big deal is.
00:11:44Look, we're having some issues,
00:11:47and I don't want to complicate things.
00:11:49I don't have any issues.
00:11:51You said you were unhappy. I'm not unhappy.
00:11:53I love our life.
00:11:55Our marriage, getting to sleep in my own bed.
00:11:57I know, but...
00:12:01I feel different, okay?
00:12:03Different?
00:12:05Better.
00:12:07What do you mean, better?
00:12:09What do you think I mean?
00:12:11Do you want me to lie to you?
00:12:13Maybe.
00:12:16But the fourth wife,
00:12:18she was a real looker.
00:12:20We both got our money's worth on that one.
00:12:23So do you think you, uh,
00:12:25could ever get married again?
00:12:27No, no, no, no. I don't think so.
00:12:29I'm, uh, I'm so unlucky.
00:12:32If it were raining pussies, the one that would land on my head
00:12:35would have a dick already in it.
00:12:37All right, uh, moving on.
00:12:41Ed, how about you?
00:12:43Any, uh, movement with your action items this week?
00:12:47Yes, I finally got rid of that hyphen
00:12:51at the end of my name.
00:12:53So I'm no longer Ed Smith Myers.
00:12:56I'm just Ed Smith.
00:13:02Congratulations.
00:13:05Congratulations, Ed.
00:13:07You're making real progress. I'm proud of you.
00:13:10So, Nate, how about you?
00:13:13Would you like to share with the group?
00:13:18Um...
00:13:20Hi, um...
00:13:22I'm Nate.
00:13:24Um...
00:13:28I-I just came to check this out
00:13:31because, um, American Voice is finished for the season,
00:13:34so I had a little bit of extra time this week.
00:13:37But I don't, I don't really know what I'm, what I'm doing here.
00:13:41♪
00:14:11♪
00:14:13♪
00:14:38I know, I got really lucky.
00:14:40I was able to get an earlier flight.
00:14:42It means we can definitely make it to, uh,
00:14:44Peter and Penny's potluck.
00:14:46Yeah, yeah, I'll, I'll pick up the bottle of Syrah.
00:14:55You look like the expert.
00:14:57Are the waffles here any good?
00:14:59Are the waffles here any good?
00:15:01Uh, yeah. Yeah, they're okay.
00:15:04Not better.
00:15:06My wife actually makes really good waffles.
00:15:09Whole grain, soy milk, egg whites.
00:15:12And we only use grade A maple syrup.
00:15:14Medium amber in a little maple leaf bottle from Vermont.
00:15:18Susan has this way of pouring the maple syrup
00:15:21into every other square,
00:15:23so there's never too much but never too little.
00:15:25I mean, she would even take the butter out of the fridge
00:15:28an hour before we ate so it softens,
00:15:30and then when it hits the top of the waffle,
00:15:32it just melts in every direction.
00:15:40I bet you can't wait to get home.
00:15:48I place the Blue Ridge Mountain.
00:15:50The problem is, you gotta use it.
00:15:52And so we go back and forth, and then...
00:15:54Hey, Nate.
00:15:56How's it going?
00:15:58I feel like it's been a while.
00:16:00Yeah, it has, hasn't it?
00:16:02We cannot decide.
00:16:05Nate, what a surprise.
00:16:08Yeah, it is a surprise, isn't it?
00:16:11You're having a dinner party with all our friends
00:16:14as if nothing even happened.
00:16:16Are you okay?
00:16:18Yeah, I'm really good.
00:16:20Thanks for asking. I'm getting along just swell.
00:16:22Really glad that you're making good use of our time apart.
00:16:25The space that you wanted so bad is treating you well,
00:16:28and that, hey, it's just shits and giggles here.
00:16:30You're at my expense.
00:16:32You're at my expense, isn't it?
00:16:34Let's just go upstairs and talk.
00:16:36Holy shit!
00:16:38Is that the new 65-inch 4K HD TV with crystal clear pixelation,
00:16:42the one that I wanted to get instead of redoing the bathroom?
00:16:45Okay.
00:16:47The rockin' ribs are ready to be tasted.
00:16:51Who wants some more pinot?
00:16:55Oh, hey.
00:16:57How's it going? I'm, uh...
00:16:59I'm Nick. Good to meet you.
00:17:02What's your name?
00:17:04My name is Nate Brown.
00:17:06Nate Brown.
00:17:08It's on the mail that comes here.
00:17:10It's on the cable bill.
00:17:12Hey, can we please just talk about this?
00:17:14You know what? It's really not the fact that you're screwing my wife
00:17:16that bothers me because, honestly, that I could get over.
00:17:19But, Susan, if you're gonna let this guy
00:17:21wear my Kiss the Cook apron,
00:17:23use my dripless basting brush,
00:17:25and cook my 44-inch cobble grill, then...
00:17:27I'm sorry, but you're nothing but a filthy whore.
00:17:33I'm just having a really hard time
00:17:35adjusting to everything right now.
00:17:37Hard how?
00:17:39Well, I...
00:17:41I just feel like my whole life has turned upside down, right?
00:17:44And I don't know where to start.
00:17:47You know?
00:17:49I'm also dealing with some pretty big issues at the moment,
00:17:52like not being allowed back into my own house
00:17:54that I bought and paid for.
00:17:56But then there's also, like, the little things
00:17:58that bother me even more than being homeless.
00:18:00Like, I passed our Thai food place the other night,
00:18:02and we loved Thai food.
00:18:04It was our favorite.
00:18:06And every time we'd go, I would get the chicken skewers,
00:18:08and she would get the garlic beef.
00:18:10And then we'd share.
00:18:12And it's like...
00:18:14What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
00:18:16I mean, I can't get both.
00:18:18Hey.
00:18:22It's just gonna take some time.
00:18:24How long have you been coming here?
00:18:2715 years.
00:18:2915 years?
00:18:37I would have gone to Paris.
00:18:39No.
00:18:41You should have remodeled.
00:18:43You know?
00:18:45Nate?
00:18:48Nate Brown.
00:18:50It's Katie.
00:18:53Katie Franco.
00:18:56Used to be Hamilton.
00:18:58Katie. Katie.
00:19:00Hi.
00:19:02What the hell happened to you?
00:19:04I'll take that as a compliment.
00:19:06And you look...
00:19:08like you always did.
00:19:11Really? Because half of me is divorcing the other half.
00:19:14Aw. You too?
00:19:16Mm-hmm.
00:19:20So, uh, what are you up to now?
00:19:22Are you still, uh, helping the betrothed
00:19:24march to their emotional death?
00:19:26No.
00:19:28Really? That was your life. You lived for it.
00:19:30No.
00:19:32I had what could be
00:19:34innocently described as a complete
00:19:36fucking meltdown where I lost my cool on a customer
00:19:38to the point where they called off
00:19:40the engagement.
00:19:42Probably good you quit.
00:19:44Are you kidding? It was like the best day of my life.
00:19:46I suddenly felt
00:19:48empowered and inspired
00:19:50and it allowed me to shed the past
00:19:52and take hold of my own life.
00:19:56I thought
00:19:58from that moment on
00:20:00of my breakup as my wakeup.
00:20:02As the moment in my life when I said
00:20:04I am my own person.
00:20:06I'm not just half of Katie and Chuck.
00:20:08I'm Katie Franco.
00:20:10And the fun of the single thing is starting over.
00:20:12Don't commiserate. Celebrate.
00:20:14What is there to celebrate?
00:20:16You. Your newfound
00:20:18freedom. Your independence.
00:20:20The new life you're about to embark on.
00:20:22Celebrate being single.
00:20:26My marriage was everything to me.
00:20:28Operative word was.
00:20:30You gotta start living in the now.
00:20:32Fuck the past.
00:20:34Fuck the past? Seize your future.
00:20:36Like Carpe Diem?
00:20:38You guys planned a wedding, right?
00:20:40That was just one big party.
00:20:42Why don't you throw another one?
00:20:44I don't know. I guess I could try.
00:20:46I just don't know
00:20:48if I could pull it off. Seems like a lot to celebrate
00:20:50just moi.
00:20:52Who else would you rather celebrate?
00:20:57Well, listen.
00:20:59Call me if you need me.
00:21:01I'm back to being an accountant.
00:21:03Taxes after a divorce can be a bit tricky.
00:21:26I don't know, but as I...
00:21:28Well, the only thing we can do is
00:21:30to go out and dress up
00:21:32and let them know what we're going to do.
00:21:34As I look over...
00:21:36You know, it's just so out of character.
00:21:38Honestly surprised he came up with it himself.
00:21:40Really?
00:21:42You think?
00:21:44If that was my ex-husband,
00:21:46I would sabotage the party
00:21:48and make a complete ass out of him
00:21:50in front of all of his loser friends.
00:21:53Hypothetically speaking, you know.
00:21:55That's fantastic.
00:21:57Jan loves her little hypothesis.
00:21:59You know, I just...
00:22:01Throwing a party is hard.
00:22:03It's not just buying a six-pack
00:22:05and serving some onion dip.
00:22:07It's a lot more, you know.
00:22:09I always planned who was coming
00:22:11and what we would serve
00:22:13and where they would sit, you know.
00:22:15I always made him feel like he was involved.
00:22:17Yeah, he always had those amazing
00:22:19syrupy sweet and spicy ribs.
00:22:22Seriously? It was seriously?
00:22:24Not syrupy?
00:22:26Misspoke.
00:22:28And if I hadn't added white pepper
00:22:30to the rub, it would have been bland.
00:22:32And if I didn't
00:22:34constantly baste the ribs,
00:22:36it would have burned.
00:22:38If I didn't serve Marlowe,
00:22:40he would have served Chardonnay,
00:22:42so that would not have gone well.
00:22:44Can't do that.
00:22:46After the term alimony?
00:22:48Permanent.
00:22:50Permanent alimony.
00:22:54Her pension contribution
00:22:56entitlement,
00:22:58her car insurance,
00:23:00her health care coverage.
00:23:04I see 17% of my salary.
00:23:08One-seven.
00:23:12No wonder I feel
00:23:1483% like shit.
00:23:17The irony?
00:23:21Before our first date,
00:23:23I dreamed of
00:23:25fucking her.
00:23:29And now she's fucking me.
00:23:31Right up the ass.
00:23:37Okay.
00:23:40Anyone else have
00:23:42anything they'd like to add?
00:23:46I have something.
00:23:52I was actually trying to think about
00:23:54this divorce thing
00:23:56in a whole new way.
00:23:58So instead of feeling like shit about it,
00:24:00I decided,
00:24:02why not have a party?
00:24:07I'm sorry, why not have a what?
00:24:09A divorce party.
00:24:12Nate?
00:24:14I think that might be
00:24:16misdirecting
00:24:18some of the pain
00:24:20that you were feeling.
00:24:22Yeah.
00:24:24Why would you want to do that?
00:24:26I mean, you can think about it any way you want.
00:24:28But you'd still be broadcasting
00:24:30your failure to the world.
00:24:32We come in here
00:24:34to share our lives with each other.
00:24:36But we keep it in this room.
00:24:38You want to share your misery
00:24:40with the world? Fine.
00:24:42But for me,
00:24:44I'd rather be safe in here
00:24:46than deal with what's
00:24:48going on out there.
00:24:56I need to understand how
00:24:58I, a guy that
00:25:00I think is pretty normal, non-offensive,
00:25:02only rarely loses his temper in public,
00:25:04only has one guest attending his party.
00:25:06What party?
00:25:08The divorce party.
00:25:10The one that you RSVP'd to?
00:25:12Oh, yeah.
00:25:14Here it is.
00:25:16Well, first of all,
00:25:18I RSVP yes to every invite.
00:25:20It doesn't mean I'm going.
00:25:22It means that you think I'm going.
00:25:24So for the next week, if I see you at spin class,
00:25:26you don't think I'm lame for saying no.
00:25:28Then, about an hour before
00:25:30the party starts, I send you an email
00:25:32with something along the lines of,
00:25:34Oh my God, I'm so sorry
00:25:36I can't make it, but do a shot for me.
00:25:38I love you, Katie.
00:25:40So you weren't coming either?
00:25:42No, of course not.
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:46Listen, Nate, I don't know what to tell you.
00:25:48You decided to throw a party,
00:25:50and now you're realizing that without your marriage,
00:25:52no one feels obligated to show up just for you.
00:25:54Why not?
00:25:56Because you used to be half of
00:25:58something, and now you're all of nothing.
00:26:00Do you think that's
00:26:02kind of your fault? Oh, my fault?
00:26:04Yeah. I mean, you gave me the whole
00:26:06celebrate-celebrate speech. Nate, please.
00:26:08Look at your invite.
00:26:10Chips and dip at the Savannah Inn Express
00:26:12isn't a party. It's pathetic.
00:26:14I got the
00:26:16double deluxe suite. Nate, if you want to have
00:26:18a successful divorce party, you've got to treat this as if
00:26:20As if what? As if it was
00:26:22as important as your wedding.
00:26:24Okay.
00:26:26Look, if I had 30 grand to spend, I'd throw something
00:26:28cool, but I don't have that kind of money. Are you
00:26:30telling me your new life is only worth a bag
00:26:32of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa?
00:26:34Because that's what I'm hearing.
00:26:36Okay, think about it. If you were getting married
00:26:38somehow, you and
00:26:40your over-eager bride would find the money
00:26:42to flaunt your new life together, right?
00:26:48Why don't you throw it for me?
00:26:50What?
00:26:52I mean, you loved doing that.
00:26:54You lived for it. No.
00:26:56What I lived for
00:26:58was a feeling, you know?
00:27:00The rush
00:27:02of making a memory that could maybe carry
00:27:04someone through a lifetime.
00:27:06Like,
00:27:08I was creating
00:27:10a piece of art,
00:27:12and I was the artist.
00:27:18But that was the past.
00:27:20Your specialty was sending people off
00:27:22into the world with the memory of the best
00:27:24day of their lives.
00:27:26Help me have a new best day of my life.
00:27:28Make me a work of art.
00:27:30Please?
00:27:40Okay.
00:27:42If you can find the money to pay my full fee
00:27:44and allow me to plan
00:27:46something with the bells and whistles that keeps
00:27:48my former reputation intact,
00:27:50then I'll do it.
00:27:54Okay.
00:27:58Okay.
00:28:28I have that.
00:28:30Okay.
00:28:32Where are they?
00:28:34Okay, buddy.
00:28:44Fuck you.
00:28:48Come on, baby.
00:28:54Oh,
00:28:56Jesus Christ already!
00:28:58Nate!
00:29:00What the hell are you doing here?
00:29:02Oh, my God. I thought you'd be at work.
00:29:04There must be some reason, some urgent
00:29:06need that absolutely could not wait.
00:29:08Well, I need my tennis shoes.
00:29:10Your tennis shoes?
00:29:12Yeah, I looked in the closet on the shoe rack, and I...
00:29:14Yeah, dude. Uh, yeah.
00:29:16Right behind my, uh, ab roller.
00:29:18Yeah.
00:29:22Yeah, yeah. Little guy, huh?
00:29:24He's, uh...
00:29:28Size, uh, eight and a half, right?
00:29:32Uh, nine and a half.
00:29:34Yeah.
00:29:38Uh, okay.
00:29:40There I was,
00:29:42standing in front of my soon-to-be ex
00:29:44and her buck-naked boyfriend,
00:29:46and it was clear
00:29:48that the ring meant absolutely nothing to her.
00:29:50It was like she was void of that
00:29:52gush of emotion that she had when
00:29:54I proposed.
00:29:56I spent weeks, months,
00:29:58even researching the stupid
00:30:00four Cs.
00:30:02Cut, color, clarity, and carrot.
00:30:04I organized a flash mob
00:30:06for the perfect proposal.
00:30:08I even hired dancers
00:30:10to present the ring.
00:30:12I mean, the fucking absurdity
00:30:14of this invented tradition where men
00:30:16have to bust their ass
00:30:18and spend
00:30:20three months' salary just to express
00:30:22their undying devotion?
00:30:24I mean, when the hell
00:30:26did that start?
00:30:28When men were stupid enough to fall for it.
00:30:30I don't know.
00:30:32Maybe I should just give it back.
00:30:34Well, the courts look at an engagement
00:30:36ring as a promise for marriage,
00:30:38and if the bride fulfills that promise,
00:30:40and your ex certainly did,
00:30:42it's supposedly hers, free and clear.
00:30:44You think I should return it?
00:30:46Hell no. It's a bullshit law.
00:30:48Hot that ring, and you get as much
00:30:50money for it as you can.
00:30:52Fuck her.
00:30:58This is the bridal bible.
00:31:00All my girls used to get one.
00:31:02It's the how-to for the I do.
00:31:04Even if we're
00:31:06celebrating the death of your marriage.
00:31:10Since you've been lost in the delusional
00:31:12fairytale of marriage,
00:31:14how about something truly romantic?
00:31:16Maybe even a mass party
00:31:18where we reveal the new Nate Brown.
00:31:20What do you think?
00:31:24I don't know.
00:31:30How about this?
00:31:32You've got a sweeping view of the water.
00:31:34What's not to love?
00:31:36And we could even do, maybe like,
00:31:38a little spiritual cleansing in the river.
00:31:40I don't know.
00:31:48I thought this could be the perfect
00:31:50place to be loud and proud
00:31:52about your new life.
00:31:54What do you think?
00:31:58Maybe.
00:32:02What about something exotic
00:32:04like Indian food?
00:32:06We don't like Indian.
00:32:08What do you mean, we?
00:32:10I mean, me.
00:32:14That is bitching.
00:32:16Yeah, and if I serve that,
00:32:18everyone's gonna think I'm a huge bitch.
00:32:20No, baby, it's, um,
00:32:22it's, uh, it's kish.
00:32:24It's cringeworthy.
00:32:26I don't want people to think
00:32:28that I have all of this pent-up emotions.
00:32:30This bitter pill that I'm forcing them to swallow.
00:32:32This looks like a Halloween cake.
00:32:34Yeah.
00:32:36Besides, no one even likes white icing, do they?
00:32:38I mean,
00:32:40it's just a cake.
00:32:44I set the seating at 100.
00:32:46We can always adjust up if we need to.
00:32:48Or down, for that matter.
00:32:50I don't understand why we're working
00:32:52on a seating chart when I don't have any guests yet.
00:32:54That's exactly my point.
00:32:56And it's valid, but I don't have anyone to invite.
00:33:00All of my so-called friends were just
00:33:02bodies that would come over two by two
00:33:04to have a hand-to-hand wine and safe conversation.
00:33:06Trust me, I remember that.
00:33:08Your revolving list of couple-friend guests.
00:33:10Listen, it doesn't matter,
00:33:12because I'm pretty sure those people
00:33:14are gonna go to Susan's party anyways.
00:33:16Of course she's having a party.
00:33:18She lives for those things.
00:33:20Exactly.
00:33:22So why don't you let her
00:33:24live her life while you go to find yours?
00:33:28Go find some people you actually want to be around.
00:33:3039 trees.
00:33:3239.
00:33:34It's gotta have greenery.
00:33:38Hey, guys.
00:33:40Hey, man.
00:33:42Just wanted to see what you guys were up to this weekend.
00:33:44See if you wanted to
00:33:46down some brewskis or tease some tail or something.
00:33:50I'm sorry.
00:33:52Tease some tail?
00:33:54Yeah, you know, go out and just...
00:33:56Everything okay?
00:33:58Yeah, yeah, everything's fine.
00:34:00I'm fine.
00:34:02Well, better than fine.
00:34:04You don't have to lie.
00:34:06I'm not. Lie about what?
00:34:08A guy's wife who's in my fantasy league
00:34:10who also takes yoga with Jen,
00:34:12who apparently attends your dinner parties,
00:34:14told us that Susan kicked you out.
00:34:16Why weren't we invited to those dinner parties?
00:34:18We're just...
00:34:20We're working through some issues.
00:34:22She's divorcing you.
00:34:24That is one of the issues.
00:34:26All right, look.
00:34:28We see through your little charade here.
00:34:30Clearly, everything is in hunky-dory and brown manner,
00:34:32and now that there's no Susan,
00:34:34I'd say you're a little...
00:34:36desperate to hang out with us.
00:34:38Desperate?
00:34:40I'm not desperate.
00:34:42I don't know. What do you think?
00:34:44I knew we were going to that thing this weekend.
00:34:52All right, look.
00:34:54You're not in jail, Dave. No.
00:34:56Not in this condition. What condition?
00:34:58You're like a caged man in the zoo of life,
00:35:00a sad little panda cub
00:35:02that's been protected behind bars,
00:35:04suckling milk from your mother's tits,
00:35:06and now you don't have a mommy anymore.
00:35:08Trust us.
00:35:10This is for your own safety.
00:35:12If we put you into the wild, you'd be killed.
00:35:14I can survive in the wild, okay?
00:35:16I can be a tiger.
00:35:18I can kill.
00:35:25Seth!
00:35:27Heidi, what's up? I think you're looking good.
00:35:29Hey.
00:35:31Yo.
00:35:36All right.
00:35:40Just be cool, all right?
00:35:42Bingo.
00:35:54Yeah.
00:36:00It's so good to be out, you know?
00:36:02On my own. Solo.
00:36:04Kicking it.
00:36:06Not having to worry about what time I get home tonight
00:36:08so I can make some stupid brunch plans in the morning.
00:36:10Do you know what that's like?
00:36:12I mean, dude, I spent so much time
00:36:15worrying about Susan this and Susan that
00:36:18and trying to keep her happy
00:36:20for her to turn around one day and tell me that she's unhappy.
00:36:23What the fuck is up with that?
00:36:25Oh!
00:36:29It's okay. At least I'm not one of those guys
00:36:31that has to talk about it all the time, you know?
00:36:33All right, baby. Your turn to drink.
00:36:35Let's go, okay? Chug. Chug.
00:36:37Chug. Chug. Chug.
00:36:39Chug. Chug. Chug.
00:36:41Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug.
00:36:43Chug.
00:36:47I got you.
00:36:54Chad.
00:36:56Badass rad Chad.
00:37:00What's up, motherfucker?
00:37:08Hey, dude.
00:37:10All kidding aside,
00:37:12you're a really awesome guy, man.
00:37:14Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:16Cool, man.
00:37:18I love you, buddy.
00:37:21Hey, we should hang out sometime.
00:37:23What do you put in your hair, too?
00:37:25Hey, how do you get it to...
00:37:27What do you mean, hang out?
00:37:29Oh, I don't mean that in a gay way.
00:37:31Like, I'm not trying to pick you up
00:37:33or take you like a homo bar or something.
00:37:35All right, so if you were, you know,
00:37:37trying to pick me up,
00:37:39would that be a bad thing?
00:37:41No, that's what I'm saying.
00:37:45You're a really good-looking guy,
00:37:47but I'm not gay, you know?
00:37:49I feel bad for the gays, though.
00:37:51Oh, yeah?
00:37:53Adopting children and marriage equality
00:37:55and, like...
00:37:59Fuck marriage, man.
00:38:01It's bad enough being married to the opposite sex.
00:38:03Like, why the fuck would you want
00:38:05to be married to the same sex?
00:38:07You know what I mean?
00:38:11Sorry.
00:38:20Hey.
00:38:22Hey, guys.
00:38:24Do you guys want a drink?
00:38:26Fuck no, I don't want a drink.
00:38:28Why would you hate on Chad?
00:38:30Yeah, what were you thinking?
00:38:32What do you mean?
00:38:34Oh, dude, come on. We're cool.
00:38:36Hey, Chad!
00:38:38Chad, do you want a drink?
00:38:40Watch, watch.
00:38:42I got this. Yeah, I got this.
00:38:44I don't know who the hell you think you are,
00:38:46but I think I speak for everyone here
00:38:48when I tell you that it's time for you to go home.
00:39:01I think you're in serious need of inspiration.
00:39:04I think you need a date.
00:39:06A date?
00:39:08Yes. Not a girlfriend, not a wife,
00:39:10not someone to help you plan everything.
00:39:12Just someone who might actually enjoy your company
00:39:14during your divorce party.
00:39:16A date.
00:39:21At least I'll have one person coming.
00:39:23Exactly.
00:39:25Maybe a little momentum will help figure everything else out.
00:39:27Where do you want me to find somebody?
00:39:29I don't know if you know,
00:39:31but I'm not the best at socializing.
00:39:47It's strange, really.
00:39:49I mean, if the flood hadn't delayed my flight,
00:39:52I wouldn't have been bored sitting there on my laptop
00:39:54looking at dating sites.
00:39:56I mean, what are the chances?
00:39:58Tell me more about yourself.
00:40:00Well, I've always wanted to go to Ireland.
00:40:03It just, it looks so pristine online.
00:40:05Which isn't to say that I feel the need for a date.
00:40:08It's just that I don't feel like it.
00:40:10I don't feel like it.
00:40:12I don't feel like it.
00:40:14Which isn't to say that I feel the need to go
00:40:16jet-setting across the world all the time or anything like that.
00:40:19I have this really great couch at home.
00:40:22It's white, shabby chic,
00:40:25so comfortable for watching TV.
00:40:27But it's just too big.
00:40:29Too big?
00:40:31Yeah, I mean, whether it's on the couch,
00:40:33or the beach, or even on the moon.
00:40:35It's just not the same
00:40:37unless someone's there by your side
00:40:39watching remodeling shows with you.
00:40:41Do you like your job?
00:40:43That's all it is, really.
00:40:45I know I shouldn't feel that way about my career,
00:40:47but I don't care.
00:40:50I told them I don't want to go into management
00:40:53because I need time to live,
00:40:55to nurture the relationships in my life,
00:40:57to find someone.
00:41:06I want to bury a party.
00:41:08Want to get some flowers and a tombstone for it also?
00:41:11I'm serious, Nick.
00:41:13I want to do this.
00:41:15I need to do this.
00:41:17I think it's going to be really therapeutic, you know?
00:41:19It'll help me just get rid of the ring for good.
00:41:22One final symbolic gesture.
00:41:25Sounds so good.
00:41:27Makes sense, right?
00:41:28Yeah. Makes sense to you.
00:41:30Makes sense to me.
00:41:31Great.
00:41:42You've got to be kidding me.
00:41:44What are you doing?
00:41:48You're living the best day of my life.
00:41:50Nate, the whole idea is to make your divorce party
00:41:53your new best day.
00:41:54I don't want a new best day.
00:41:56I just want to lie here until they find my corpse
00:41:58fused to the comforter.
00:42:04What?
00:42:06What do you want?
00:42:08I hate to tell you,
00:42:10but this whole group ride on Bible planning guy sucks.
00:42:14Finding a date was meant to help me get over Susan.
00:42:16But every girl felt like some kind of version of Susan,
00:42:18except they weren't Susan.
00:42:19Now I can't stop thinking about it.
00:42:21Susan?
00:42:22Jesus Christ.
00:42:24Enough with your whole misery routine.
00:42:26It's tiring.
00:42:27Then why was everyone so much like her?
00:42:29Because of this.
00:42:34How did you get that?
00:42:36I hacked into your account.
00:42:37How do you know my password?
00:42:38It's Susan and the year you were married.
00:42:42You said,
00:42:43willing to adjust your life goals for the right person.
00:42:46You prefer someone adverse to breaking up after a year
00:42:49and are interested in exploring the interests and hobbies
00:42:52of your next partner.
00:42:54So what?
00:42:55What's wrong with that?
00:42:57If someone really likes cycling,
00:42:58there's no problem with me taking time out of my day
00:42:59to do that with them.
00:43:01They want to go on a cruise ship to Mexico,
00:43:02then sure, why not?
00:43:04Something to do.
00:43:05Do you even like cycling or cruising?
00:43:07That's not the point.
00:43:08It shows that I'm willing to meet them in the middle.
00:43:11Oh.
00:43:13Is that where you want to live your life?
00:43:15In the middle?
00:43:17It's called compromise.
00:43:18No, it's called sacrifice.
00:43:20Giving up who you are to be someone you're not.
00:43:23Sometimes that's what it takes.
00:43:25It's why Susan and I worked so well for all those years.
00:43:31How's it working for you now?
00:43:38Okay, throw it in.
00:43:40I don't want to.
00:43:42Do it.
00:43:44No.
00:43:47Nate?
00:43:54Listen, I know how this feels.
00:43:56No, you don't.
00:44:08I'm not as strong as you think I am.
00:44:13I thought you got rid of every picture of you and Chuck.
00:44:20Believe me, I know this is hard.
00:44:23I know it better than anyone else.
00:44:26Because you're not just letting go of the past,
00:44:28but you have to let go of the future, too.
00:44:31The future?
00:44:34The memories you've dreamed of that you'll never share
00:44:37and the kids you won't know
00:44:39and the Christmases you won't celebrate
00:44:41and growing old together.
00:44:45You have to say goodbye to all of it.
00:44:50Even if you know it was probably your fault.
00:44:53You don't blame Chuck?
00:44:55You know when people say,
00:44:57it's not you, it's me, and they're completely lying?
00:44:59Well, it actually was me.
00:45:01In trying to make our relationship perfect,
00:45:03I completely suffocated him.
00:45:17Come on, Nate, you can do this.
00:45:21Start over.
00:45:31Come on.
00:45:45And your wedding picture.
00:45:53And your honeymoon picture.
00:46:02And the picture you keep in your wallet,
00:46:04behind your license, next to the spare key
00:46:06that opens the house that used to be yours.
00:46:08How did you...
00:46:10You're like an addict. I had to search everything.
00:46:23Okay, now light it.
00:46:26Okay, now light it.
00:46:56Okay, now light it.
00:47:27As the memories of my past burned away,
00:47:31I couldn't help but wonder
00:47:33why they'd been so damn important to me.
00:47:37She was right all along.
00:47:40Carpe diem.
00:47:43The future holds the memories of tomorrow.
00:47:46And I was ready to experience every single one.
00:47:57Okay, so my whole plan for tonight
00:47:59is that you're no longer Nate.
00:48:01Who am I?
00:48:02You're going to choose an alter ego in role play.
00:48:04Trust me, this works.
00:48:06I used it whenever my brides were really nervous about their wedding.
00:48:09It breaks you out of that shell and gives you that confidence
00:48:12that, frankly, you have none of and desperately need.
00:48:16So, who do you think I should be?
00:48:18Whoever you want to be, it doesn't matter.
00:48:20But no matter who you choose to be, you have to,
00:48:23and I mean have to follow my two rules.
00:48:25Okay.
00:48:26You cannot break character, and you cannot talk about Susan.
00:48:29Susan who?
00:48:32How are we getting into this thing?
00:48:34Didn't I tell you? I RSVP to everything.
00:48:43Fromage.
00:48:48Interesting.
00:48:51What do you think?
00:48:54It's quite clever.
00:48:57I took several courses at the Ecole des Beaux-Arts.
00:49:00Modernism, post-modernism, the avant-garde.
00:49:06How progressive.
00:49:08Well, you should know the tales of the life I've lived.
00:49:13Excuse me.
00:49:15Where in France are you from?
00:49:17We're going to Cannes next year.
00:49:19Really?
00:49:21You haven't settled on Copenhagen?
00:49:24I am from Normandy.
00:49:28Normandy?
00:49:30Oui, yes.
00:49:32Have you this painting here?
00:49:36No, I haven't.
00:49:39You see, on the surface, Adam and Eve in Disrupted Eden,
00:49:44it's a familiar topic, but if you look at it,
00:49:47there is no depth, no soul, character.
00:49:51This is nothing more than shock art.
00:49:54Wow.
00:49:56Very insightful.
00:49:58What do you think of this painting?
00:50:01This one.
00:50:07This...
00:50:10This is...
00:50:12I'm...
00:50:14What?
00:50:15I'm speechless.
00:50:18It's brilliant.
00:50:21Well, you should tell the artist.
00:50:23He's right behind you.
00:50:27Excuse me.
00:50:28This lovely Frenchman was just admiring the depth of your work.
00:50:33Yes, your painting asks...
00:50:35Do I know you from somewhere?
00:50:38No, no, I don't think we've ever met.
00:50:43Who are you?
00:50:45You're the guy from the party.
00:50:47No.
00:50:48What are you putting on? Some kind of accent?
00:50:51No, you're mistaken.
00:50:54My name is Pierre.
00:50:56Pierre Lemieux.
00:50:58No, I remember you, drunken ass.
00:51:00I remember the whole night.
00:51:02So what, you made fun of me in your native tongue,
00:51:06and then you thought, hey, I'm gonna track this guy down,
00:51:09put on some phony-ass French accent,
00:51:11and want to fuck with me again?
00:51:13Because I remember you droning on and on and on
00:51:16about your ex-wife, right?
00:51:18Stacey.
00:51:19How Stacey broke up with you,
00:51:21how Stacey won't return your calls,
00:51:23and how you're worried that Stacey's gonna find some other cock
00:51:25and she's gonna be back.
00:51:26It's Susan!
00:51:28Okay?
00:51:30Her name is Susan.
00:51:32Susan, Sarah, Steve, who cares, huh?
00:51:36And then you mock me for being gay.
00:51:38What the fuck is that?
00:51:40Maybe we should go.
00:51:41What, are you gonna give me shit about my work now, too?
00:51:43Is that it?
00:51:44No, no.
00:51:47You're right about me.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:49I am stuck in my head about my relationship
00:51:51and the whole fucking thing,
00:51:52and the other night, I was a mess.
00:51:54I barely even remember what happened, but screw all that.
00:51:57Tonight's about you.
00:51:59It's about appreciating your work.
00:52:02It's impressive.
00:52:04I mean, I really like this, man.
00:52:08The texture, the weight of it,
00:52:13the simplicity.
00:52:16It's moving.
00:52:20You should be really proud.
00:52:22I mean, you're an incredible artist.
00:52:25I'm sorry for...
00:52:28othering you.
00:52:30Come on.
00:52:38Okay, what do you think?
00:52:40Does it look like I'm going to a funeral?
00:52:42Should I add, like, a pop of color,
00:52:45something more casual?
00:52:47Nick, I need your help, okay?
00:52:49Is this stunning or stupid?
00:52:51I still have time to take it back.
00:52:53It's black, right?
00:52:55So can I go along with the whole thing?
00:52:58Okay, well, even if that's the case,
00:53:01could you just indulge me, please?
00:53:04Is this costume or couture?
00:53:07Uh, isn't bad luck for me to see you in the dress?
00:53:11Nick, that's a wedding.
00:53:13Well, this whole thing sort of feels like a wedding.
00:53:15What?
00:53:16Well, babe, you're having a ring ceremony,
00:53:18you know, a cake, you're trying on a dress.
00:53:20I mean, next thing I know, you're going to be asking me
00:53:22to take you on some post-divorce honeymoon, you know?
00:53:26Well, you know what?
00:53:28After all of this, it would be nice to have a little getaway.
00:53:34Take a look at that, baby.
00:53:44I was kind of surprised when you said
00:53:46that you wanted to meet for a drink.
00:53:48Yeah, well, it's because I have to do something
00:53:51that I really hate.
00:53:53What do you mean?
00:53:55I got to give someone else credit.
00:53:58The other night when you walked into my show,
00:54:00um, you really helped.
00:54:03Really?
00:54:04Yeah, yeah.
00:54:06I-I thought I ruined everything.
00:54:08No, no, no, no, no, not at all.
00:54:10You, uh...
00:54:12You, um, you broke me out of my misery.
00:54:15You know, so here I was bitter
00:54:17because I wasn't in a relationship, you know?
00:54:22And then you spot my work.
00:54:24And it speaks to you.
00:54:26It truly speaks to you.
00:54:28When you shared that passion,
00:54:30it just became infectious.
00:54:33I-I meant what I said.
00:54:35Yeah, well, um, because of that,
00:54:38I, uh, I sold my first painting.
00:54:41You did?
00:54:42Yeah, my first.
00:54:44Oh, good for you.
00:54:46I know, it just made me think, man,
00:54:48that, um, who cares if my ex broke up with me, right?
00:54:53Because the first time in, um, in a long time,
00:54:57I, um, felt like something more than his boyfriend.
00:55:02Sorry, sorry we're late.
00:55:04Jake didn't know his ass from his hand.
00:55:06Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:55:07I thought we told you to crash it.
00:55:08What are you doing here?
00:55:09What'd you overhear us about?
00:55:10No, relax, relax, I invited him.
00:55:12You did?
00:55:13Yeah.
00:55:14He's getting first round.
00:55:15Right, Nate?
00:55:17Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:55:19Yeah!
00:55:20Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:22We play our cards right.
00:55:24We close the bar down.
00:55:26Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:27Damn straight.
00:55:29I'm gonna let my sorrows drown.
00:55:31Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:32Anybody need to call home to get a hall pass?
00:55:36Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:40Uh, nope.
00:55:41Um, I'm newly single, so, uh, nobody's watching my ass.
00:55:47Yeah!
00:55:48Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:49My wife loves when I go out so she can work on her novel.
00:55:53Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:54Really?
00:55:55You don't have to go home and grovel?
00:55:56Yeah!
00:55:57Da, da, da, da, da.
00:55:58I haven't had this much fun since I don't know when.
00:56:01Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:02Keep hanging with us, you'll find your zen.
00:56:05Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:06Hey, I need one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
00:56:08Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:09What about a Chardonnay from a stellar evening?
00:56:12Yeah!
00:56:13Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:14I know before hanging with you guys I was a pathetic dude.
00:56:16Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:18But thanks to your help, I'm feeling renewed.
00:56:20Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:22Well, congratulations and welcome to your new life.
00:56:25Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:26You should come help me get over my ex-wife.
00:56:29Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:30That sounds like a party with no remorse.
00:56:34Da, da, da, da, da.
00:56:35Actually, I'm sending out invites to celebrate my divorce.
00:56:40Yeah!
00:56:41Yeah!
00:56:42Yeah!
00:56:44Hello?
00:56:45Chapter 7 in the Bridal Bible.
00:56:47Squeezing sublimely into the wedding dress.
00:56:50We need you toned and tight.
00:56:52No one will ever call me.
00:56:58No one will ever call me.
00:57:05No one will ever call me.
00:57:10No one will ever need me.
00:57:16No one will ever love me at all.
00:57:28No one will ever hurt me.
00:57:34No one will ever desert me.
00:57:40No one will ever leave me.
00:57:56I'd like to register for the beer mug set, the ping pong table,
00:58:00and the 65 inch 4K Ultra HD TV with crystal clear pure pixelation.
00:58:05Oh, and if you could also throw in one of the mini fridges for the bedroom.
00:58:08I've kind of gotten used to it.
00:58:10Is this for a wedding?
00:58:13No.
00:58:14It's for a divorce.
00:58:21So, I have a challenge for you.
00:58:24A challenge for me?
00:58:25Like, fixing you hasn't been enough.
00:58:28You have to say yes or no before I hear any questions.
00:58:31That seems a little unfair.
00:58:33Oh, it's completely unfair.
00:58:34The odds are totally in my favor.
00:58:37What's it going to be?
00:58:39I'm too tired for this.
00:58:40Yes or no?
00:58:47Yes, fine.
00:58:49Okay.
00:58:50Now, can you end my misery and tell me what horrible thing I just agreed to?
00:58:55A night on the town with me.
00:58:57Well, consider it a practice date before I find a real date.
00:59:01Assuming you can even find someone willing to hang out with you.
00:59:04I just did, didn't I?
00:59:13Look, I'm ready for something new.
00:59:17I mean, look at me.
00:59:19This is Susan's idea of what I should look like.
00:59:24For example, my hair.
00:59:25She made an appointment for me every fourth Saturday, and every fourth Saturday I would go.
00:59:30I get it.
00:59:31You're a bland canvas.
00:59:33Exactly.
00:59:34Yeah.
00:59:35I need your help.
00:59:37Okay.
00:59:38I'll make some calls and put you in touch with the right people.
00:59:42Okay?
00:59:43Okay.
00:59:48I had no clue so many guys use low lights to offset the highlights so that their hair looks darker and thicker.
00:59:53I never even thought to do anything to my face.
00:59:56I didn't exfoliate.
00:59:57I didn't moisturize.
00:59:59I just showered, shaved, and maybe threw some chapstick on when my lips cracked.
01:00:04And when Susan and I shopped, we always bought clothes a little bigger so if I put on a few pounds they'd still fit.
01:00:33What the hell happened to you?
01:00:38Take that as a compliment.
01:00:49Did you think of a name for your signature cocktail yet?
01:00:53I was thinking the Tyrannosaurus-X.
01:00:56The he-devil.
01:01:01The obituary.
01:01:04You're such a cunning linguist.
01:01:31One dance.
01:01:55As your primary Spangali, I'm telling you, this is taking it too far.
01:01:59I insist.
01:02:00I agree.
01:02:01I persist.
01:02:03Katharina.
01:03:00Not bad for a first date.
01:03:26I think the support group of divorcees would be proud.
01:03:54I don't know.
01:03:55What do you mean you don't know?
01:04:01I don't know.
01:04:08It's just so daring.
01:04:12So you don't like it?
01:04:14No.
01:04:16Nope.
01:04:18I love it.
01:04:21So what is it?
01:04:23Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just surprised and shocked that something so smart, sophisticated, and unique actually came from you.
01:04:43I'm sorry.
01:04:57Did I do something?
01:04:58You guys are staring at me like I did something wrong.
01:05:01I mean, I know I skipped a few sessions, but what's going on here?
01:05:08I don't know about the other guys, but me personally?
01:05:12You guys with new shoes, hip hair, like you're ready to conquer the world.
01:05:19Makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
01:05:23Wait, are you serious?
01:05:25I'm just supposed to come here when I feel down and struggling and feeling miserable?
01:05:31Maybe.
01:05:35What are you guys saying?
01:05:38We're thinking maybe you don't belong in this group anymore.
01:05:41We think maybe you need to leave.
01:06:09You did look pretty good, though.
01:06:23Hi.
01:06:26Hi, everyone.
01:06:28I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming to my little dress rehearsal.
01:06:32I want to make sure that this goes off without a hitch.
01:06:35So, without further ado, Nick?
01:06:40Excuse me, Nick, can you hear the music, please?
01:06:47Nick?
01:06:50Oh, you want it right now?
01:06:53Hi, guys.
01:06:56Hey.
01:07:00Hi.
01:07:01What are you doing here?
01:07:05Do you mind if we just talk privately?
01:07:08If you have something to say, you can just say it in front of everyone.
01:07:14Okay.
01:07:17I'm also having a divorce party.
01:07:20I miss you guys, and I just wanted to extend the invite.
01:07:28I'd also really love to have you there, if you can make it.
01:07:33I mean that.
01:07:38I'm just going to leave these here.
01:07:48I can't believe that just happened.
01:07:51Not to mention those weird clothes.
01:07:54Your clothes are weird.
01:07:56No, they're not.
01:07:58Yes, they are.
01:07:59You said I looked nice.
01:08:01Well, I lied.
01:08:04Hey, Muffin?
01:08:06These are great.
01:08:08I really like the, uh, you can, like, you can feel the letters.
01:08:11You know, it's, I got, like, the raised letters, like, little goose bumps on the paper.
01:08:16Do you still want to play the song, or?
01:08:25What is this?
01:08:51Did I miss something?
01:08:53I said, I don't know.
01:08:56This started as a business arrangement.
01:08:59I signed on to plan your party, and that was it.
01:09:02And it didn't even cross my mind that I would actually start to soften,
01:09:08or actually start to feel like I was missing who I used to be.
01:09:13But the closer I got to you, the more it reminded me of what Chuck and I used to be.
01:09:18And as much as it ended badly, that life was comforting and enticing.
01:09:27Of course, you're still going to have memories and feelings for who you used to be.
01:09:30But that's my problem, Nate.
01:09:32That life is addictive.
01:09:34It's all-consuming, and I, if I'm not careful, I end up standing behind double-pane windows
01:09:41holding a bundt cake and commenting on how I really hope to get to Europe this summer.
01:09:47I understand.
01:09:49I understand what you're saying, but you can't just predetermine where two people are going to end up in a relationship.
01:09:58I mean, isn't it about the journey?
01:10:04And then there will be one night when you come back home and you look at me and you say,
01:10:10I'm just not happy.
01:10:15And then where do we go?
01:10:19Good luck with the party.
01:10:46Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat bad news.
01:10:52Everybody loved your design for the concert hall.
01:10:56But you came in second.
01:10:59Something about it being too inventive, too creative, and simply the best, most original idea they ever saw.
01:11:07Too creative?
01:11:09What can I say?
01:11:12That's why I do mini-malls.
01:11:24Hi.
01:11:25Whoa, hey.
01:11:27Well, what are you doing here?
01:11:30Oh, I told the guy at the front desk I was your wife, and he was so excited.
01:11:34He showed me to the door and everything.
01:11:36Have you been working out?
01:11:37Just barging in here while I'm naked?
01:11:39That's not what the big deal is.
01:11:40I've seen you naked a thousand times.
01:11:42Well, the big deal is that we're kind of working through some issues at the moment.
01:11:47I don't know if you've got the right to see my new body.
01:11:51Ouch.
01:11:54You're right.
01:11:56And I have some things that I'd like to talk to you about, so can I buy you dinner?
01:12:05Why would I let you buy me dinner?
01:12:08I could apologize.
01:12:34I could make excuses.
01:12:37But the truth is, I miss you.
01:12:42I miss us.
01:12:46We had a language.
01:12:47We had a way of communicating that belongs to us.
01:12:52And I foolishly tried to recreate that with Nick.
01:12:57We didn't get each other.
01:13:00I wasn't in sync with him like I am with you.
01:13:05I miss that.
01:13:10And I'm willing to bet that you miss it too.
01:13:15There's a lot I miss.
01:13:34So what do you think?
01:13:37I don't know.
01:13:38What do you think?
01:13:44Well...
01:13:52I think we were together for five years and...
01:13:57It would be crazy not to give it another shot.
01:14:19Excuse me?
01:14:20I'm sorry to bother you.
01:14:22I was told I could find you here.
01:14:26I know this is going to sound really weird, but...
01:14:29I heard you help people with divorce parties.
01:14:36Who'd you hear that from?
01:14:38The former member of our group.
01:14:42Yeah, we thought he was emotionally unstable at the time, but...
01:14:47Now it seems like a pretty good idea.
01:14:52I'm sorry that...
01:14:55That was just a one-time thing.
01:14:57Oh.
01:14:58That's...
01:14:59That's too bad.
01:15:01You said you're a real artist.
01:15:05Sorry to bother you.
01:15:12It's okay.
01:15:28Ah!
01:15:50Hi.
01:15:52Shit.
01:15:54What?
01:15:56I was still trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say to you.
01:16:00Do you need me to give you another minute?
01:16:02Do you want me to close the door and come back out again?
01:16:06No, I'm fine.
01:16:11Moving out?
01:16:14What, does the motel down the street have better rates?
01:16:20No, I'm...
01:16:22I'm getting back together with Susan.
01:16:26I'm going home.
01:16:43That's it? You're not going to say anything else?
01:16:48There's nothing more to say, Nate.
01:17:00You know, I gotta say, this is one of the things I really missed.
01:17:03Well, I gotta say, I missed doing it for us.
01:17:07So, I was thinking, for the party, maybe I could invite some of my friends?
01:17:13Would they be new friends, or...?
01:17:16Colin and Jake?
01:17:18You mean the Colin and Jake who brag about sleeping with co-eds?
01:17:25You know, it's probably not their kind of party.
01:17:28I'm not sure they even have fun.
01:17:30Yeah, we should have them over another time.
01:17:35But you know what? It's up to you.
01:17:37Only do it if it's what you really want.
01:17:41Uh-oh.
01:17:47Oh, I am getting my hair done tomorrow, and I made you an appointment.
01:17:53They asked where you'd been, and I told them, traveling for work.
01:18:00Tell me it is not fucking true.
01:18:04Of course it's true.
01:18:06How can you tell?
01:18:07His shoulders are slumped, his head is sagging, and he's wearing that new cologne defeated by Layne Jackoff.
01:18:12The hell are you guys talking about?
01:18:13Remember that guy's wife who's in my fantasy league, who also takes yoga with Jan?
01:18:17Did I hear that she got invited to a barbecue you and Susan are throwing?
01:18:20Why weren't we invited to that barbecue?
01:18:22Okay, wait.
01:18:23Unbelievable.
01:18:24You got back together with her?
01:18:25So, there's no divorce party?
01:18:28I wanted to take you guys out to lunch and explain everything properly.
01:18:31Explain? What is there to explain?
01:18:33I'm trying to work things out with Susan at the moment.
01:18:36It's really complicated.
01:18:37Look, man. Divorce Susan. Stay with Susan.
01:18:41Honestly, we don't care.
01:18:43It's really not that complicated.
01:18:51Guys.
01:19:00Hey.
01:19:01I am so glad you called, because I left some things off the list this morning.
01:19:05I've decided to make potato salad instead of coleslaw, so...
01:19:08Can you please pick up a pound of red-skinned potatoes, a bunch of chives, and some mayonnaise.
01:19:13Yeah, actually, you know what? That's perfect, because I was thinking of inviting a friend of mine.
01:19:17Oh, you are?
01:19:18Yeah, Chad. I met him through Colin and Jake.
01:19:21You're going to love him.
01:19:23This barbecue isn't really the environment for guys who chase coeds.
01:19:27No, trust me. He's the last person to be chasing coeds around.
01:19:32Yeah, we could do eight. Of course.
01:19:35Is he bringing a wife or girlfriend?
01:19:38No, actually, he just broke up with his boyfriend, so it would just be seven.
01:19:42You know, seven's, like, just an odd number, and I don't want him to feel like a seventh wheel.
01:19:49Trust me. He's going to blend right in.
01:19:55Well, I don't want to tell you you can't invite him, so...
01:19:58It's what you really want to do?
01:20:01I really do. Okay?
01:20:09Okay.
01:20:12Bye.
01:20:21I know what you mean.
01:20:22I mean, Nate and I have been trying to decide if we should get pregnant or if we should take one last trip to Paris.
01:20:32Nate, how's work stuff going?
01:20:35You know, honestly, I've been thinking about leaving.
01:20:37Really?
01:20:38Yeah. I actually entered this competition to design the new concert hall, and it sort of got me thinking about striking out on my own.
01:20:47Yeah, well, you know how risky it is to go out on your own.
01:20:51I said to him, let's just make that a goal for the future when we don't have a mortgage to pay every month.
01:20:56And not to mention the distance, you know?
01:20:58It's like, what happens if you get a job to do a building in some other city, like Omaha?
01:21:03Oh, God, I hope not. I hate Omaha.
01:21:07Yeah, well, if you never take a leap, then things never change.
01:21:11Okay.
01:21:19You know, there's plenty of room for an in-ground pool back here.
01:21:22Yes, I'm always saying that to these two, that it could increase the property value 20%. Easy.
01:21:27That would look so nice, too.
01:21:36Ta-da!
01:21:38Nate.
01:21:39Never played the rhyme game?
01:21:44I played this in college, and it was kind of lame.
01:21:49I don't think our guests are interested in playing some unintelligible drinking game so they can get hammered.
01:21:59I'm drinking water. I want to play. I think... I'm enamored!
01:22:06Maybe it's time for a change of pace?
01:22:11So we don't spend the whole night treading in the same place?
01:22:16Exactly! It doesn't hurt to try something new.
01:22:20Unless you're scared to face yourself and what is true.
01:22:27Okay, play your stupid game, fine.
01:22:29Jane, can I have some more wine?
01:22:32Oh!
01:22:35We can sit here and eat chips all night.
01:22:50Feels like we're trying to force something that shouldn't be forced.
01:22:55Feels that way, doesn't it?
01:22:57Um...
01:23:02I think I need to be on my own for a while.
01:23:23You take it from me, it's not going to be as bad as you think.
01:23:27Okay?
01:23:58Are you signing?
01:23:59Yeah.
01:24:01I need to.
01:24:03I mean, you believed me, and I thank you for that, but I always wanted my own firm.
01:24:08I know it's going to be tight, but I feel like now's the time to take a shot.
01:24:14Well, funny enough, you're already reaping the rewards.
01:24:21What do you mean?
01:24:22The city called.
01:24:23All that imagination and creativity that was way too much for the concert hall
01:24:27is perfect for the new skate park they just commissioned.
01:24:32Why don't you make it your very first official job for your new company?
01:24:38Are you serious?
01:24:42I...
01:24:45Hey, man.
01:24:47Hey.
01:24:49Hey, man.
01:24:51We just wanted to congratulate you.
01:24:54Yeah, that design kicked ass.
01:24:56Thanks, guys.
01:24:58Well, whenever you're free, I'm ready to go down some brewskis or tease some tail.
01:25:04And of course, you're both still invited to the party.
01:25:07We wouldn't miss it.
01:25:08Yeah? I want to meet Katie.
01:25:09Yeah, well, unfortunately, she's the only one who has an RSVP.
01:25:18These lobs, the browns, they look perfectly delicious.
01:25:23All right, I think that's nice and...
01:25:26And done.
01:25:28Quiet.
01:25:30Quiet.
01:25:32I'll just transfer them to my paper towel.
01:25:36And I'm going to bring them over here.
01:25:39And you can serve these whole.
01:25:43Cut them open.
01:25:44Oh, my God.
01:25:46Oh, my God.
01:25:48Oh, my God.
01:25:51Oh, my God.
01:25:53Oh, my God.
01:25:55Oh, my God.
01:25:57Oh, my God.
01:25:59Oh, my God.
01:26:01Oh, my God.
01:26:03Oh, my God.
01:26:05Oh, my God.
01:26:07Oh, my God.
01:26:09Oh, my God.
01:26:11Oh, my God.
01:26:12Oh, my God.
01:26:14Oh, my God.
01:26:16Oh, my God.
01:26:18Oh, my God.
01:26:20Oh, my God.
01:26:22Oh, my God.
01:26:24Oh, my God.
01:26:26Oh, my God.
01:26:28Oh, my God.
01:26:30I'm going to tell you the story about how I recently met someone remarkable.
01:26:37That person was pretty invisible for a long time.
01:26:40You, you worry about nothing.
01:26:43That's what I find so crazy about you.
01:26:47There's no silver lining, no gray sky that could ever be blue.
01:26:54And with the help of someone special,
01:26:58this invisible person was finally able to emerge and find his voice.
01:27:03You don't trust the sun because it's always setting.
01:27:09I don't.
01:27:12Here you go.
01:27:14Let me down again.
01:27:16Ready for the first night of the rest of your life.
01:27:18Must feel good to you.
01:27:20Treat me like you do.
01:27:22Well, let's get this party started.
01:27:24You guys go ahead.
01:27:26Must feel good to you.
01:27:28Treat me like you do.
01:27:40That's okay.
01:27:50I forgot to RSVP.
01:27:53I thought you RSVP'd to everything.
01:27:58I guess I've changed.
01:28:05Shall we, Miss Freckle?
01:28:09Certainly, Mr. Brown.