The Queens Nose - Season 6 - Season Six - Episode 4
Children's drama series about a magical coin which makes dreams come true. Despite Melody's musical success there is still not a lot of money to go around, so Sophie decides to wish for lots of money.
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh wow, that video might have really gone to her head.
00:17I'd actually quite like it if it was a bit straighter and a bit tidier and a bit less
00:25rubbish.
00:26Don't touch my Johnson!
00:27That, Pansy, is an original Jesper Johnson and you do not touch a Johnson, got it?
00:38Melody, is it true that you picked this thing instead of a week in Florida for all of us?
00:43Oh, Sam, a week in Florida, well, it's over in a week.
00:51But a Johnson is a thing of joy forever.
00:54Plus, Kylie has one, Brittany has two, so I think I deserve at least three, don't you?
01:01Well, I suppose, but, you know, it is Disney World, Sam, and dolphins.
01:08Oh, come on, back up, girls, I haven't forgotten you.
01:14Come through here.
01:16Jean-Pierre has prepared the most delicious lunch imaginable, no expense spared.
01:28Totally raw, totally crunchy, totally delicious.
01:32Totally boring.
01:35You all right, Jack?
01:41Yeah, of course, I'm fine.
01:44Because we should probably have a chat and everything, you know, about what we're going
01:47to do now.
01:48I mean, we need to decide whether...
01:49My old man will be back to pick me up in no time.
01:52We don't need to decide anything.
01:53Jack, your dad, you've heard the judge, your dad's not going to be out of prison for three
01:58years.
01:59That's what they think.
02:00He'll be out in a week.
02:01Look, we need to look at the options, talk to a relative.
02:02I ain't got none.
02:03Except Mum, and I don't know where she is, do I?
02:04Then we need to talk to the social service people, can we?
02:05They probably have schemes.
02:07My dad isn't a criminal, right?
02:08He's...
02:09It's like robbing hoods.
02:10Rob from the rich to give to the poor.
02:11Jack, your dad and his gang robbed a charity office safe.
02:12Yeah, well...
02:13They probably did the wrong place, didn't they?
02:14If they'd known that, they...
02:15They would have given it all back.
02:16I don't know.
02:17I don't know.
02:18I don't know.
02:19I don't know.
02:20I don't know.
02:21I don't know.
02:22I don't know.
02:23I don't know.
02:24I don't know.
02:25I don't know.
02:26I don't know.
02:27I don't know.
02:28I don't know.
02:29I don't know.
02:30I don't know.
02:31I don't know.
02:32I don't know.
02:33I don't know.
02:34They would have given it all back.
02:36They really...
02:38They would have given it all back.
02:42It's so unfair.
02:43Most of the ideas in Melody's video are ours.
02:46And we were the ones that made it.
02:48Did we get any reward?
02:51Nope.
02:52We are a sea slime.
02:55And I had to clear up, apparently.
02:57If I had Melody's money,
02:59I'd spend it on something fun for all of us.
03:01I'd travel the world on a skyoo.
03:03Aren't Skidoos for snow?
03:05Well, where it wasn't snowy, I'd have a snow machine on track ahead of me so I could still travel by Skidoo.
03:11You know, there is another way that we could get our hands on a lot of money.
03:17You don't mean...
03:18I'm not saying we should, but...
03:20Sophie, the Queen's Notes came from Mel and Greg.
03:23No, look, if you ask the Queen's Notes for something like that, who knows what would happen.
03:26We'd get buried in money or turned into pound coins or something totally weird.
03:31I could handle getting weirdly rich.
03:35Okay, I get the message. No money wishes.
03:38Fine. Fine. It's just fine.
03:43Sophie, you do realise you're eating pirate's bird seeds, don't you?
03:47Am I?
03:48Well, the best thing I've tasted all this lunch.
03:51Oh, it's not fair.
04:16I wish, I wish I had lots and lots and lots and lots of money.
04:21Money!
04:43Can't we have had enough for just a couple of goes on the jets?
04:46This is all we can afford, guys, so let's enjoy it.
04:49I'd enjoy it a lot more if Pirate was here.
04:51I wish I knew what happened to him.
04:53I know what happened to him.
04:54Do you?
04:55Yeah.
04:56What?
04:57See, the thing is, I was running up my dad's flat and Pirate followed me in.
05:01But then my dad's posse turned up, looking for the hidden loot.
05:04Like a ninja, I hid myself behind the sofa.
05:07And when the social services lady turned up, he passed himself off as cleaning ladies.
05:11I scared them all off by imitating a police siren, but as they left, they grabbed Pirate so they could sell him on the black market.
05:17Sure, Jack.
05:20But it's true!
05:21No, I'm sure it is, Jack. Absolutely certain. It all seems very likely.
05:26But it is!
05:30So, to recap, we did the job, we bagged the loot.
05:35Old Frank hid it away for us.
05:38But before he told us where the swag was stashed, he got grabbed by the law.
05:44So what are we going to do?
05:47Well, um, we could try and talk to Frank.
05:51Very clever.
05:54Excuse me, Mr Prison Guard. We'd like a word with our friend.
05:58You see, we've done a job on a charity head office,
06:01and now we're finding it hard to recall where we placed the loot.
06:05Behave!
06:09Saying there wasn't someone in the flat, you know, someone who saw where he hid it,
06:15someone who'd sing like a canary.
06:21Or a parrot.
06:23David, I think we found our canary.
06:29Have you seen Sophie? I haven't seen her for ages.
06:31Pansy, the coin, it's gone!
06:33What coin?
06:34Uh, just a perfectly ordinary 50p that's, like, really important to me, for no reason.
06:40Why are you so interested anyway?
06:42What do you mean by that?
06:43Well, missing coin, rubber sun, seems to be a pattern emerging.
06:46I had nothing to do with it.
06:48Oh, sure, Jack, sure.
06:50Pansy, how could you say something like that? Take it back!
06:53Hang on, I don't do that sort of stuff.
06:55And even if I did, I'd never do it to you lot.
06:58Yeah, why?
06:59Well, you know, I like it here, don't I?
07:02Don't want to upset things.
07:04You could afford me.
07:05You're always complaining, saying how geeky Gregory is,
07:07and the melody sings like a pop idol reject.
07:10Oh, come on, you know I don't mean all that stuff.
07:13I mean, you lot to me, well, like the proper family I never had.
07:20You know, wouldn't mind, you know, living here.
07:24Yeah, until something better comes along.
07:26Pansy, don't be horrible.
07:27Come on, let's go and find Sophie.
07:29No, you can go without me.
07:34Does it make any difference whether I tell the truth or not?
07:37Does it make any difference whether I tell the truth or not?
07:40Nobody takes me seriously.
07:49I just wish people would believe me.
08:00Where's Sophie? I'm getting worried.
08:02You don't suppose she took the Queen's notice, do you, Noel?
08:04What, when we've got pirate to find and Melody and Gregory's still out?
08:07Sophie'd never waste a wish on something so selfish.
08:10Sophie?
08:15Hi!
08:16Something fun for all of us.
08:18So selfish.
08:19So childish.
08:20So irresponsible.
08:23So soft.
08:25So snazzy.
08:27So where did you get those shoes?
08:34I can't still be hungry.
08:36That lunch was macrobiotically engineered to fulfil all your nutritional needs.
08:41Yeah, well, I'm sure Bugs Bunny would have loved it.
08:43I'm starving to death.
08:45Oh, no!
08:47Oh, please, no, Gregory!
08:49Gregory, come quick!
08:51Jack's dying of starvation!
08:53All right, all right.
08:54I'll have to take the mick.
08:56All I want is a packet of crisps to keep me going.
08:59Pansy ate the last one. I'm going to kill her.
09:02What's going on?
09:04Jack's dying, and he's going to take Pansy with him!
09:09Can't you get some nice, tasty, unhealthy food?
09:14If I've eaten up a carrot, I'll turn into one.
09:17You'll turn into one?
09:20Don't worry, Jack.
09:22Don't worry.
09:23Look, there's a burger-land around the corner.
09:27Put the vegetable down, Jack.
09:30I will not let you be turned into a life-sized carrot.
09:35It's OK.
09:42OK, so you're saying you want round-the-world air tickets
09:46to include a big cat safari in Africa,
09:48hot air ballooning in Mexico,
09:50and deep-sea diving in Australia for six people.
09:53Oh, you forgot the luxury penthouse in Disney World.
09:56Oh, and the skidooing week in Canada.
09:58Yes, and I think you forgot that you're three little children.
10:01So why don't you put all your pocket money into a high-interest account
10:04and come back in, um, 600 years?
10:07How about we just give you what we've got?
10:09Yeah, we might have a one-day coach-return trip to Southend lying around.
10:17On the other hand, let me book you up.
10:20Are you interested in a space-traveller tour?
10:23Because we have some amazing new offers.
10:27I can't believe you did this.
10:28You're so bad.
10:29I know. It doesn't mean bad, it feels so good.
10:35I think I'm going to burst.
10:41I don't mean I'm actually going to burst.
10:45Why do you two keep doing that?
10:47We just believe everything you say.
10:49Oh. OK.
10:52You believe everything I say?
10:54Well, what, like, if I told you, you know,
10:56that the floor you're standing on is actually red-hot?
11:02You believe me?
11:04Yes.
11:06OK. Cool.
11:09Then I should, uh, I should probably also tell you that this, um,
11:12uh, this, uh, this fork
11:16can actually produce a laser beam
11:19with more destructive power
11:22than 75 nuclear bombs.
11:28Please don't hurt us with your laser fork.
11:31No, no, don't worry, I won't, I won't, if you're good.
11:34Where did you get it from?
11:36From, from...
11:38my dad.
11:40He's an amazing inventor, you know.
11:43And his latest invention
11:45is a secret formula
11:47that cures all known diseases.
11:51Wow.
11:53That's amazing.
11:54I know, I know.
11:55He's the saviour of the world, isn't he, really?
11:57And you two really want to help me bust him out of prison, don't you?
12:02Yeah. Yeah.
12:05Wicked.
12:09You know, guys, I can't help feeling,
12:12I mean, don't you think,
12:14do you think that maybe we've overdone it all?
12:16Well, we did kind of need new shoes.
12:19Well, I said three pairs each, but...
12:21I mean, just think, poor Jack,
12:23his dad in prison, his mum, who knows where.
12:26Look, it's fine.
12:27If people want all this stuff,
12:28they can jolly well find their own magic coin.
12:30Got any spare change?
12:35OK, maybe we've been a tiny, intsy bit selfish,
12:39but...
12:43we can put it right.
12:50BELL RINGS
12:57I knew those guitar lessons would pay off, yeah!
13:02Come on, guys.
13:04We've got to hurry.
13:06There are millions of sick people all over the world
13:09whose lives depend on us springing Jack's dad.
13:13Come on!
13:14This is so exciting!
13:16Just think, poor Mrs Robinson downstairs will be able to walk again
13:20and Uncle Harry won't need his operation after all!
13:25Right.
13:26OK.
13:28It's showtime.
13:29H-Wing, right, Jack?
13:31And at 1600 hours, we'll be exercising in the yard.
13:34Right.
13:35Gregor, are you sure this thing's safe?
13:37Well, the last two times I tested it on dummies,
13:40it blew them to pieces, but I'm sure it'll be OK this time.
13:43Look, I'm not sure, I mean, if...
13:45Hey, Jack, don't worry about me.
13:47So, I might get hit by a sniper's bullet
13:50or more likely explode and die in a ball of flame,
13:53but if I've done my bit to help rescue the world's greatest living scientist,
13:58it'll be worth it.
13:59I'm so proud of you, Gregory.
14:02Good luck.
14:05Count me down, would you, darling?
14:07One last time.
14:09OK.
14:11OK.
14:18Five, four, three, two...
14:22Wait, wait, wait!
14:24Hold up.
14:26I mean, my dad deserves to be in prison,
14:30and you two just want to go home to bed.
14:36Let's try good copper, bad copper again.
14:40Right, you better start squawking
14:42or you're going to find yourself covered in breadcrumbs in a nice big oven dish.
14:46Don't listen to Dave, my feathered friend.
14:49We just want to know where the money is
14:51because we want to buy you a nice big bowl of birdse...
14:53Arctic!
14:55Was that attic? It sounded like attic.
14:58No, he said Arctic.
15:00It's in the Arctic.
15:02Why would it be in the Arctic?
15:04Great hiding place.
15:07Is the coast clear?
15:09I think so.
15:10OK, well, let's hide all the stuff
15:12and get changed before Melody and Gregory get back.
15:14We can't hide it forever. What are we going to tell them?
15:16You can tell me.
15:18I'll pass the message on if you like.
15:20Hi, Jack. How are things?
15:23Where's Melody and Gregory?
15:25Oh, they're resting.
15:27They've had a very tiring day.
15:29I saw this.
15:31We've been to the charity shop.
15:33Yeah, we got the whole lot for about a pound.
15:35That's what I call charity.
15:37Yeah, right.
15:39Come on, tell me the truth.
15:42You're all desperate to tell me the truth.
15:44Well, she didn't...
15:46Whoa, whoa. You still want to tell me, but slowly.
15:49And that's why it's called the Queen's Nose.
15:51It's really important not to waste a wish
15:53because you only get ten.
15:55Ten magic wishes?
15:57I suppose that explains things a bit.
15:59Except this morning I kind of couldn't help myself.
16:03And then suddenly this big bag of money
16:06just appeared under the pool table.
16:08Hold on. Did you say under the pool table?
16:10Big bag of money under the pool table?
16:13Well, it's not there any more, silly.
16:15We spent it.
16:18You spent it?
16:20Well, not all of it.
16:22Some of it we gave away.
16:24Oh, no, no, no.
16:26What's the big deal? I know it was a waste,
16:28but it was a fun waste.
16:30I don't know what this coin can and can't do,
16:32but that wasn't magic money.
16:34That was my dad's money.
16:36I know it's hard to believe, but...
16:38My dad's money.
16:39From the robbery, which I hid there
16:41in a blue sports bag with a Chelsea sticker on the side.
16:44Oh. Now you come to mention it.
16:47What if I didn't wish on the Queen's Nose?
16:50What if I had the wrong 50p?
16:52What if it wasn't a wish at all?
16:54Congratulations, mastermind.
16:56Now I need to get all this junk back where you brought it.
16:58We need to get that money back.
17:00Oh, so you're going to follow in your father's footsteps
17:02by harbouring stolen goods?
17:04No. Actually, I know who he nicked it off.
17:06A charity. And I'm going to give it back.
17:12OK, so what's the next great idea?
17:14Right. This is a floor plan of Frank's place.
17:18Yes?
17:19Well, most likely, the loot's still here,
17:22we just don't know where,
17:24which is where our friend comes in.
17:26What?
17:27Observe as I release the parrot.
17:34Where is the loot?
17:37Por favor, monsieur Parrot.
17:41Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. He's a genius.
17:46What? Look at him go. He knows where he's going.
17:49He's... he's... going next door.
17:53It's next door!
17:55Ah, you beautiful parrot!
18:01How much have we got back so far?
18:03£55.50, and that doesn't include the shoe place.
18:05How much did we get at the shoe place?
18:07Nothing.
18:08No, this is terrible. We've let Jack down.
18:10He wanted to do the right thing and...
18:11Don't worry, Sam.
18:12All the money that we spent on clothes and shoes and sunglasses
18:15and food and drink is nothing compared to the holidays.
18:18I'll just cancel them and we'll get, like,
18:20almost nearly all of the money back.
18:22Ah, young ladies.
18:24So, you're the people who claim to have paid for six
18:27round-the-world air tickets.
18:29How did you pay, exactly?
18:31Do you have the credit card slip or cheque stuff?
18:34We paid in cash.
18:36Cash. Yes, of course.
18:38Look, I'm very sorry about this.
18:40It was from a woman.
18:42She had a name badge. It was Maria.
18:45Maria, that's it.
18:46Maria. Oh, dear.
18:49What?
18:50I'm afraid that Maria Orthorp left our employment this afternoon.
18:55But our holidays, we can still get a refund, can't we?
18:58Maria left on a ticket she stole for Buenos Aires,
19:01along with a very large quantity of cash.
19:04It looks like she never actually booked your ticket,
19:06so, no, I'm afraid you can't get a refund.
19:09No? Well, let's call the police.
19:12What? And say someone's stolen our stolen money?
19:15I suppose a space tour's out of the question, then.
19:20But you must remember me.
19:21You were playing this song, and it wasn't very good,
19:23but I still gave you a huge amount of money, and...
19:26Hey, he's got a new guitar.
19:28Hey!
19:30Oh!
19:31Any luck in the charity shop?
19:33Yeah, well, in a way, they remembered us.
19:35Oh, wicked!
19:36And they said we could have the money and stuff back.
19:38Great.
19:39But they'd have to call the hospital and cancel the order of toys for the sick children's ward.
19:43Oh!
19:44They can keep it.
19:47This. This is it?
19:49Uh-huh.
19:50Sorry, Jack.
19:51I bet you are.
19:53This is unbelievable!
19:55Wait a minute!
19:57This is the Queen's nose!
19:59Is it?
20:00Yeah, that makes sense.
20:02Why?
20:03Well, when I was holding it earlier,
20:04I said this stupid thing about wishing people would believe me.
20:06And they did, right?
20:07Yep.
20:08Why did you wish that?
20:09I don't know.
20:11I think I was just sick of people thinking I was just saying stuff.
20:13You know, no-one believed me about liking you and Mel and Greggs.
20:16But I did. I believed you.
20:18Did you?
20:19Yeah, I believed you all along.
20:21Thanks, Sam. Thanks a lot.
20:23Hold on. Where did you find this?
20:25Beside the pool table.
20:27Beside the pool table? That's where I dropped it.
20:29This is great.
20:30I don't see what's so great about that.
20:32You know, careless seems to be the word you're looking for.
20:35Don't you understand? I did wish on the Queen's nose.
20:37So?
20:38You still spent my money.
20:39Yeah, but I wished for money, and I only found your money.
20:42So maybe, just maybe, my Queen's nose money's back at the loft.
20:46Let's go!
20:49I so hope the money's there.
20:50I know. I can't wait to see their faces at the charity if we manage to get their money back.
20:54Maybe they'll let your dad out earlier if we can...
20:58It's either a break-in, or...
21:03Pull that apart. There's nothing there, mate. Let's check the bags.
21:17Look!
21:18Sleeping bag. It's full.
21:22This is useless. Let's go.
21:24Apparently it's a liability.
21:26Hang on. Where'd that come from?
21:30Oh, here we go.
21:36Hi, Rock.
21:38Hi.
21:39Hello.
21:40Hello.
21:41Hello.
21:42Hello.
21:43Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:45Hello, hello.
21:47What have we got here, then?
21:49All right, kids. Join the show.
21:52Please don't hurt Pirate.
21:54Leave this to me.
21:55Call me on the internet.
21:58Gentlemen.
22:00I am Zoltan.
22:03Emperor of the universe.
22:06Now...
22:08Unless you wish me to use my...
22:11My...
22:12Laser fork.
22:14Put down the money, and leave immediately.
22:18Go on.
22:26Oh, no!
22:27Please don't hurt us with your laser fork.
22:36That's no laser fork.
22:38But if you kids go to the police...
22:41That parrot will end up as a feather duster.
22:44Got it?
22:50See ya, Zoltan.
22:53I don't understand.
22:55The coin, why did it stop working?
22:57Why didn't they believe me?
22:59The queen's nose can sometimes be like that.
23:01Maybe it ended when you found out it really did believe you.
23:04Talk about bad timing.
23:05Talk about bad parrots.
23:07Parrot gave us away.
23:08I'm sorry, he didn't mean it.
23:11Well, we'll forgive him if he can find out where they're taking the money.
23:14Go on, Pirate, you can do it.
23:20We're counting on you, Pirate.
23:38Subs by www.zeoranger.co.uk