New.Europe.With.Michael.Palin.6.Of.7
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Michael Palin's New Europe: Episode 6
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TVTranscript
00:30I'm approaching the city of Gdansk from the Baltic Sea.
00:43This unremarkable stretch of waterway has seen two seismic events in recent history.
00:50On September 1, 1939, World War II began over there on Westerplatte, when the German warship
00:57Schleswig-Holstein opened fire on the Polish garrison.
01:01They held out very gamely, but within a matter of weeks, all of Poland was overrun.
01:09By the end of the war, the Poles had lost 20% of their population, a higher proportion
01:14than any other European country.
01:18Even when the Nazis were finally driven out of Poland by Stalin's Red Army, things didn't
01:22really get much better.
01:24The Poles merely exchanged one tyranny for another.
01:27So it went on through the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s, until something quite remarkable happened
01:34here at the Gdansk shipyards, not ten minutes by small boat from where World War II began.
01:45An electrician called Lech Wałęsa led a series of strikes that were the beginning
01:50of the end of communism in Europe.
01:57Under the agreement that followed, free trade unions became legal for the first time in
02:02any of the Soviet bloc countries.
02:06The famous gates of what was then the Lenin shipyard are still decorated as they were
02:10in the days of defiance, with the name of Wałęsa's union, Solidarity, and his inspiration,
02:17the Polish Pope John Paul II.
02:22Lech Wałęsa helped maintain a fleet of electronic buggies like this one, a job which kept him
02:27in contact with workers all over the yard.
02:32The shipyards themselves, shorn of their socialist subsidies, later went bust.
02:38They were bailed out, but the workforce today is a shadow of what it once was.
02:45I ask Andrzej Buczkowski, the manager, if there's still a sense of pride about what
02:51happened here.
02:52What do the workforce here today think about Lech Wałęsa?
02:57Well, they are very proud, knowing that Mr Wałęsa was for a long time employed here
03:05in Gdansk shipyard, and he was trying to help afterwards while being a president of Poland,
03:11for example.
03:12And they still have a good link, knowing some good friendships still maintained.
03:19Do they regard him as a good president?
03:23Definitely yes.
03:25Gdansk, reduced to rubble in the war, has been restored to its former glories, and ex-president
03:31Wałęsa has been granted a grace and favour office in this imposing former royal residence.
03:39It's here that he's agreed to see me.
03:44Few living Europeans are as illustrious as Lech Wałęsa.
03:48Married to Danuta, eight children, loves computers, has a Nobel Prize, an airport named after
03:54him, a daughter doing well in Poland's Celebrity Come Dancing, is serious and hates small talk.
04:01Mr President, what is the best thing about your life now?
04:06The best things are good food, good wine, and women.
04:15But I must remember that I'm 63, so I have to watch myself.
04:22Well, I'd like to say, I'm 63 and much inspired. Thank you.
04:29Remember what Churchill said, the things we like are either immoral or bad for us.
04:39Comparing Poland then and now, what has improved?
04:51It depends how you look at it, how you look at the benefits.
04:57For me, the main benefits are freedom and democracy.
05:04That people can travel freely, that you can go to church, that I can be president.
05:10Anyone can become president.
05:17I think that these things are worth dying for.
05:20But there are other people, for them the important thing is jobs.
05:29How much money they have, they see the benefit in a different light from me.
05:34Such people say that the effects are not too great.
06:05ElblÄ…g
06:10This is ElblÄ…g, equally war-battered but less well-restored than Gdansk.
06:15It's the starting point for what is to be a most remarkable journey, on the ElblÄ…g-Ostruda Canal.
06:34Our boat is called Wabencz, the Swan.
06:37It's functional rather than elegant, an ugly duckling might have been better.
06:45Either would be quite suitable as we make our way through a nature reserve of marsh and woodland that's a haven for bird watchers.
06:54Oh, he's found one.
07:05ElblÄ…g
07:11The canal opened in 1872, just before the railway that took away most of its trade.
07:18It has to cope with a rise of 360 feet from one end to the other.
07:25The engineers solved the problem in a most spectacular way.
07:35As we enter the lock, the Swan slides into an underwater cradle.
07:46In an engine room built beside the canal, mighty wheels are slowly powered into action,
07:51which turn a drive wheel, which turns a cable, which will slowly draw the boat, secure in its watery hammock, out of the water and up the hill.
08:04This is pretty remarkable, because we've been dragged out of the canal, onto dry land.
08:20It's not a lock system, it's a slipway system, and basically the boat has to be raised 100 metres in the course of the canal.
08:28And this is one of these locks, and I've never seen anything quite like this.
08:32So instead of just being in a water lock, you're actually taken out of the water and up the hill.
09:02What amazes me is that no one bats an eyelid at the sight of a boat going up a hill.
09:25Well, it has been doing this for 140 years, I suppose.
09:32Once over the hill, we're eased gently back into the water.
10:03This whole wonderful Heath Robinson process will happen four more times before they reach Ostruda.
10:12Amazing, we've come over the hill, the rails have led us up, we're now back in the water again.
10:17We ceased to be a railway, we're now on a boat again.
10:22Extraordinary.
10:26Really delightful, if cumbersome machinery.
10:30Raised above the countryside.
10:37I'm not going all the way to the end, as I have to be back in Elblanc for a professional engagement.
10:44With a top cabaret.
10:46Well, this could be another career break.
10:48I've been asked by a group called Annie Murumuru.
10:51They're a Polish group, they're very popular, very successful.
10:53Annie Murumuru means, shh, don't worry, or something like that.
10:57I quite like that.
10:59Anyway, they know of Python, they know I'm in town and asked me to come and do a small part.
11:03I'll do my best.
11:11I'm rushed to wardrobe to discuss my costume with one of the stars.
11:15My chin, what do you think, short?
11:17Yeah, it's very nice.
11:18I brought them with me because I knew they'd come in useful somewhere on my trip to Poland.
11:23Yeah, yeah, they're very nice.
11:25And what with the...
11:26From Milan or...
11:27From Milan, yeah, yeah, especially with that, I like that sort of hat.
11:30Jean-Paul Gaultier.
11:31Jean-Paul Gaultier, yeah.
11:32You know, it's like a codpiece coming out of your hip.
11:35Yeah, it looks like.
11:36Cookie? Yeah, kind of weird.
11:40When you do these shows, is the humour satirical?
11:44I mean, what makes your audience laugh?
11:47You never know, it's like...
11:49Well, you know Monty Python.
11:51Yeah, yeah, I've known him for quite a while.
11:53Lots of people in Poland know you as a Monty Python group.
11:58And now we're joining a Polish group.
12:00So there, Cleve, Idle, Jones and the other one.
12:07I've been given the role of a five-year-old boy, a big test for any method actor.
12:16Upside, I still love upside.
12:19That's too grown up, that's too silly.
12:24I suppose silly is what it's all about.
12:26Oh dear.
12:29Or maybe, I don't know.
12:47Anyway, darlings, if you just...
12:50Give me a moment.
12:51Give me a moment.
12:53Just give me a moment.
12:56Yes.
12:57I'm ready.
13:02The sketches are satire on pop stars who use sweet little children in their act.
13:17I've modelled my performance on the theme of over-excitement.
13:24And incontinence.
13:32Fortunately, I don't know the Polish for get off.
13:47That's what I do, that's what I do, that's what I do.
13:55A big round of applause for Michael Pellin and his friends in Romania.
14:17I hung around in Elblanc for a while, but the phone didn't ring.
14:21So I'm off to Warsaw.
14:26Warsaw, the Polish capital, will be the mid-point of my journey,
14:30before carrying on to Poznan, then south to Krakow and the Slovakian border.
14:36RADIO CHATTER
14:45Warsaw suffered dreadfully in World War II.
14:48In his fury at the uprising of 1944,
14:51Hitler ordered the city removed from the map.
14:54Over 800,000 citizens died or disappeared.
14:59After the war, Poland's capital was rebuilt by the Communists.
15:06RADIO CHATTER
15:17Stalin gave this palace of culture to the Poles
15:20to show how much they meant to the USSR.
15:23Did you want it? Apparently he gave us a choice.
15:26You either get a metro system or a palace of culture.
15:29We said, can we have metro, please? He said, OK, I'll give you the palace.
15:32That's how it started. Perverse.
15:34My guide is Polish journalist Monica Richardson.
15:37Well, you can see, really, it sort of plonks itself down
15:40right in the middle of a city like some alien creature.
15:43Do you feel that, as someone from Warsaw?
15:45Absolutely. It does cut the city right in half.
15:49Yeah. When you look out at your city from here,
15:53I mean, do you find it a little grey?
15:56I mean, do you think it's a beautiful city?
15:59No, it's not a beautiful city, but it's a working city.
16:02I have respect for it.
16:04It's, you know, a good down-to-earth city of people who have busy lives.
16:08Yeah. I mean, you get a great view of the city
16:11without having to see the palace of culture.
16:13I suppose, in that way, it's better being in it
16:16than being out there looking at it.
16:18Absolutely. It's an awful place.
16:21Well, it's got a certain grandeur.
16:24An edifice like this brings to mind
16:27some form of architectural imperialism
16:30that came around to dominate the subjugated people.
16:33Very true, but it's become a symbol of Warsaw,
16:36whether we're happy about this or not,
16:38just like the fact that Warsaw's such an old, new city.
16:42An old, new city, yeah, it's a good way of seeing it.
16:45So it's kind of like an Eiffel Tower, in a sense.
16:48Indeed. It's on all the postcards.
16:50Love it or loathe it.
16:52This is the Congress Hall.
16:54This is where the Communist Party would have its congresses
16:57every so many years, just to explain to people
16:59how things haven't turned out
17:01just quite as beautifully as they were going to.
17:04So all the delegates would be sitting here from all over Poland
17:07and the leaders would be up there talking for hours on end
17:10and people sort of dozing away
17:12as it's all televised live for days and days.
17:16The irony is that people like Bob Dylan have come and performed here now
17:20and I'm sure they knew nothing about the history of this place.
17:23Yeah, it reflects the history.
17:25Of course, a few days ago, this was Miss World.
17:28It's on the same stage that these fiery Communist leaders
17:31were given their rhetoric.
17:33How bizarre.
17:34What would Stalin make of that?
17:36I'm sure he's turning in his grave.
17:38Oh, that would make a sound.
17:40That would be a sort of 10.6 on the Richter scale,
17:43Stalin turning in his grave.
17:45Left in the wake of the onrushing Reds is the ruined city of Warsaw,
17:49scene of an indescribable five-year reign of terror.
17:52But at last the exiled population, those still alive,
17:56are able to return to the shells of their former homes,
17:59for once more the Polish flag flies over Warsaw.
18:05It is remarkable that this was rebuilt after the war.
18:09This is... This is complete rubble.
18:12This has been built in my lifetime rather than 300 years ago.
18:15Yes, it was rebuilt to the exact specifications
18:18of the way it had been in the 18th century
18:21rather than directly after the war
18:23because, for some reason, the architects decided
18:26that the 18th century was when the old town in Warsaw
18:29was at its biggest glory, highest glory, and that's how they did it.
18:33But, in a sense, it's completely artificial.
18:35It was supposed to be very beautiful, wasn't it, Warsaw?
18:38Yes. People compared it with Paris. Yes.
18:40Around here, it's really lovely.
18:42Actually, it's a testimony to the amazing effort of those people
18:46who, in 1945-46, decided to actually keep this the capital of Poland,
18:51and, if you think about it, all that's obvious at all.
18:5485% of it was in rubble.
18:57Do you think places like this, these squares,
19:00that have been beautifully restored,
19:02is that sort of helping to remind Poland of a past, a golden past?
19:08Because, after all, there was a time when Poland was a big player in Europe,
19:12much bigger than Russia or Germany.
19:15Do people harp back to that?
19:17No. I think I can see where you're coming from asking that question,
19:22but, no, I don't think we've got any illusions of grandeur,
19:26past or present, or future dreams of it.
19:29I think we just want to be taken seriously
19:33as a nation that's a force in Europe,
19:36as a nation that's got a fantastic history to it,
19:39as a brave nation that, however, has something to offer here and now,
19:43rather than being a martyr for generations and generations.
19:50Plenty of Poles have come to work in the UK,
19:53but I'm off to meet an Englishman who's happier working in Poland.
19:57He's a Cockney called Kevin Aston.
19:59He came here 15 years ago, without a visa,
20:02doing whatever jobs he could find and picking up the language along the way.
20:06He's ended up in the Polish fire brigade.
20:10And when I got the hang of the Polish language
20:13and I felt confident enough,
20:15I knocked on the doors of the Polish fire brigade and said,
20:18''Hi, I want to be a fireman. Can I?''
20:20Passed all the tests and everything, they said, ''Sure, come on in.''
20:23And today I'm a section leader in the Polish fire brigade.
20:26You say lightly that, ''Oh, I learnt the language,''
20:29but it must have been very, very difficult.
20:31I find it a very difficult language indeed.
20:33Polish actually is amongst five of the most difficult languages in the world.
20:38And I don't know how I've done it.
20:40How did you do it? Did you do it from books?
20:42No books, no...
20:44Over at one point, Michael, over about...
20:46I wouldn't even like to think about it,
20:48cos I'm sure I've drunk a car learning this Polish language.
20:51But the best way to learn Polish, really,
20:53is to buy a beer, buy the Polish guy a beer, sit down and chat with him.
20:56How similar are the Poles to the English, or how different?
21:00Oh, they're very different.
21:02I wouldn't say similar, they're not similar at all.
21:04They're very, very, very opposites, I would say.
21:06But they're opposites which attract, really.
21:08The Poles like the English, the English like the Poles.
21:11Poles, for example, they're very gallant, if you're talking about women.
21:15They kiss women on the hand for ''hello'' and ''goodbye''.
21:18An English guy does this, you know, ''Hi, how are you doing?''
21:21So it's a little bit cold and stuff.
21:23The Poles are very hospitable if you go to their house.
21:25They'll empty out the whole fridge and knock on the neighbour's door
21:28to get their fridge empty to put on their table in order to entertain you.
21:31I mean, what about your love life here, if it's not a rude question?
21:35Were girls easy to meet?
21:37Yes. Yes, I did.
21:39When I came out here I was 21, 21, 22.
21:42Not married.
21:45The Polish women are really beautiful, they really are.
21:48Also very hospitable.
21:51They love English.
21:53They love the English men as well, not only their language.
21:56But I'm married, so I can't say too much now.
21:59Because I'm sure my wife's going to watch this film.
22:03I'm married to a Polish woman.
22:05Building a house now in the forest, which is coming up very nicely.
22:08I would not be able to do that in Great Britain, I'm sure of it.
22:11And we have a lovely daughter, whose name, by the way, is Chelsea.
22:14So there's a nice piece of English heritage still being implanted in Poland
22:20and it is being raised in Poland.
22:23So I've still got Great Britain close to my heart and everything,
22:27even though I'm a long way away.
22:29But I would say there's one thing for the Poles that are in my country,
22:32is that I hope that Great Britain treats them as well as Poland has treated me here.
22:37That's the best that I could ever wish them, really.
22:40There's something I've always wanted to do.
22:42Michael? I don't like these gates, they look very serious.
22:45This one is quite serious. It's a long way down from here, isn't it?
22:48It certainly looks a lot further from here than it does the other way round.
22:51But we're going to get you down there, Michael, and we're going to get you down there safely.
22:54What you've got to do on this zeszlisk, in Polish it's a fire pole,
22:57is first, let me put it right, throw that into your shoulder.
23:01Throw that into your shoulder, here, here.
23:04Do not hold it with your hands because you'll burn them going down.
23:07Do it with your sleeves, one leg, two legs, and you go.
23:11Got it? You nearly went then. Nearly?
23:14OK. I'll go after you.
23:16All right, so in like that. Throw it into your shoulder.
23:18And then no arms like that. That's it.
23:20And then one round.
23:22Go down. Let gravity take over.
23:24That's brilliant.
23:27Not so bad, huh?
23:32Now let go of the pole, Michael.
23:34Let go of the pole? Yes.
23:36Oh, don't take it with me.
23:38How was that? Der point, null point.
23:40Absolute mon blanc.
23:42So simple.
23:45I can't wait to try it again.
23:51This could be my chance.
23:54WHISTLE BLOWS
24:19I eventually catch up with Kevin at Polish television,
24:22where he's something of a star.
24:24He says he can get me on a top morning TV show.
24:27This could be the break I've been waiting for.
24:46He thinks it will be a good wheeze
24:48to test my Polish pronunciation on camera.
24:52OK?
24:55We're going to be on after an item about ladies' hairdressing.
25:06Back in make-up, I ask Kevin how on earth he got into all this.
25:10I've signed a contract for three episodes.
25:13What of? A comedy show?
25:15Yeah, yeah. And that was four years ago.
25:18We're just... On Friday, we're recording the 100th episode.
25:22Amazing. You do stage stuff as well?
25:24Yeah. Stand-up comedy as well.
25:26In Polish? Yeah. To the Polish audience?
25:28My hero in Great Britain...
25:30Heroes are Jimmy Jones.
25:33Jimmy Jones? Jimmy Jones and...
25:35Roy Chubby Brown? No, Lee Evans.
25:37Lee Evans. I love Lee Evans.
25:39So, let's go to the studio.
25:41Shall we go, Michael? We're done, OK.
25:49...in terms of operating and maintaining the network...
25:55On the European Union. Good morning, Kevin.
25:57Hello, Rafał. Hello.
25:59Michael Pali? Michael Pali.
26:01Hello, Rafał. Hello.
26:03I think this is an idea like from Monty Python.
26:05Right? Welcome, Mike.
26:07This is my honour, really.
26:09I never thought I can shake your hand,
26:11because you've created my sense of humour, really.
26:13That's it. Is that a good thing?
26:15I have influence on my sense of humour.
26:17And it's probably not only on my sense of humour.
26:19Thank you for being here with us, Kevin.
26:21We know who to blame. Yes.
26:23So, we're going to try and do some Polish.
26:25I'll try to teach Michael a little bit of this language.
26:27OK. How are you?
26:29Very good.
26:36No one will hear you.
26:41That's a difficult one. Let's go on.
26:44Very good.
26:48It's your handwriting that's so bad.
26:52Almost, almost.
26:56This is going to be one of your favourites.
26:58Look at that one.
27:00Show this to the camera first.
27:02All right, we've got this.
27:04What is that, Michael?
27:09Close.
27:14Chimka, everyone.
27:16Can he just say goodbye to the viewers?
27:18Of course. Right here.
27:24Thank you. Thank you, Michael.
27:28Oh, dear, now it's just back to normal life.
27:32The moment of glory is over.
27:35Polish television conquered.
27:37Tomorrow, the world.
27:40The world, in this case,
27:42being the great European plain
27:44where Poland was forged over 1,000 years ago.
27:47It grew strong and successful
27:49until the Russians, the Austrians
27:51and then the Germans swallowed up their land.
27:54It's only now, in the new Europe,
27:56that Poland is regaining its stability,
27:58confidence and its history.
28:03Poznan is another picture-postcard piece of restoration.
28:07It's Old Square, where past meets the present,
28:10is the perfect place to watch the world go by
28:12and sort out the mobile phone offers.
28:16No, no, no, the thing is, I was on your two-for-one
28:19and I now want to change to four-for-three,
28:22which is tariff five.
28:24So I'm going to change to four-for-three,
28:27which is tariff five.
28:29So I'm going to change to four-for-three,
28:32which is tariff five.
28:35So four-for-three and tariff five.
28:37And I'm going on to Czestochowa
28:40and then in Krakow, southern Poland,
28:42so I believe that changes
28:46to the special offer then,
28:49which is like...
28:51And I only want it for a week then,
28:53I don't want it for the full three months.
28:55Yeah, I see, that would be...
28:57Ah, oh, do you?
28:59Ah, that's interesting, that's interesting.
29:01OK, right.
29:03So this is the ten-for-one.
29:06That's wonderful.
29:08And that's only in this part...
29:10Oh, yeah, right.
29:12That's in where? That's in Moscow.
29:14No, well, I'm not...
29:16I'm not going to Moscow,
29:18but that's a fantastic rate,
29:20ten-for-one.
29:22I think I might go to Moscow.
29:24I'll have a word with the director anyway, yeah.
29:26Poznan Central Station.
29:28The 858 to Wolsztyn prepares to leave
29:31with a very new driver.
29:33Well, this is it.
29:35This is the mighty, oily beast
29:37that I shall be driving,
29:39and I've got the outfit.
29:41I might look a bit like a gent's hairdresser,
29:43but this is actually the PKP driver's jacket,
29:45PKP meaning Polish Regional Railways,
29:48and the great thing is, this is a scheduled service.
29:51There will be passengers on board.
29:53They haven't been told
29:55that a member of a comedy troupe from England
29:57is actually going to be driving them,
29:59which is just as well.
30:01Anyway, I can't wait to get on, so here we go.
30:03See you later.
30:05Englishman Bob Wyatt was one of the inspirations
30:07behind a very bold operation,
30:09an Anglo-Polish engine-driving school.
30:12Good morning. Michael.
30:14Carlos.
30:16Okay, great.
30:20Michael, do you drive to Wolsztyn?
30:22So I'm told.
30:24If you'll let me drive to Wolsztyn,
30:26I think it seems a dangerously big thing
30:28to be in charge of, so...
30:30Okay.
30:37I can also be fireman if I want to,
30:39so I've been allowed to practice
30:41getting the coal on.
30:47That's why you have to practice.
30:57It's 8.58,
30:59and as the commuters pour into Poznań,
31:01it's time to go.
31:03Regulator goes down.
31:05There's always a bit of a gap
31:07between the regulator moving, the train moving off.
31:15There we are,
31:17now I'm screaming into Poznań.
31:21Now I've got to just concentrate.
31:35This isn't Thomas the Tank Engine.
31:37This is the real thing,
31:39on a real railway,
31:43with real passengers.
31:47Once we're clear of the main line,
31:49Janos puts me into the driving seat.
32:07All right, it's not Grand Central,
32:09but it's my first station.
32:11I'm rather proud of it.
32:17Beautiful.
32:31This is just stopping.
32:33Stopping?
32:35Starting's the bit I like.
32:37There we go.
32:45There we go.
32:47There we go.
33:11There we are.
33:17There we are.
33:23Beginning to get the hang of it.
33:47There we are.
34:17There we are.
34:47Phew!
35:01Well, we're in the depot,
35:03Wallston, and we're back,
35:05and almost on time.
35:07I think we're about two minutes late.
35:09I mean, once you get over the actual
35:11fear of being on the footplate
35:13of this enormous hurtling bit of massive metal,
35:15What did you get over that? It's actually, it's very exhilarating, but, I mean, normally now we just press buttons and things happen on this.
35:24You have to pull a lever, which presses a flange, which pulls another valve, which turns some wheels, and it's really hard physical work.
35:30So, I've great, great respect for these guys, and, you know, I suppose they are a bit dodos like this, but it was a great, great run.
35:37And I do apologise to any passengers who've had heart attacks. We'll refund the money.
35:41I was going to help out greasing down the old beast.
35:45I always wanted to be an engine driver, and now my dreams come true. It's going to be a real anti-climax being a TV presenter again.
36:07This is Jasnogora Monastery in Czestochowa, the most important religious site in a deeply religious country.
36:15At the entrance is the powerful figure of Cardinal Wyszynski, the Catholic primate who refused to compromise with the Communists.
36:32So many hundreds of thousands of pilgrims come here every year that special days have to be organised for them.
36:43This is interesting. Throughout the year, the various pilgrim groups have their own special days, and, I mean, the year is almost packed with different groups coming in,
36:53and we are, that's ours now, 28th Kapolani WP, who are the chaplains of the Polish army, and that's our Leszniczy Forest Guards, so they all have their special day of pilgrimage.
37:09It doesn't say BBC.
37:13What they've all come to see is the mysterious Black Madonna, a likeness of the Virgin Mary said to have been painted by St Luke on a beam from Jesus' home in Nazareth.
37:29Pilgrims process on their knees around the chapel where it's displayed.
37:33The Madonna has been associated with some great Polish victories over the years, and is believed to have miraculous powers.
37:45Monks of the Pauline Order, whose monastery this is, celebrate Mass almost non-stop throughout the day.
37:51The climax is always the moment when the Madonna is revealed.
38:03The great moment is announced with a drumroll.
38:33A screen of beaten gold slowly rises, and the Black Madonna, nestling in jewel-encrusted robes, is at last revealed.
39:03My guide, Father Tomon, tells me what it means.
39:06For the Polish people, it's meaning the Queen of Poland.
39:10Mary was elected, proclaimed, Queen of the Polish Nation.
39:16And after the nine wars, martial war proclaimed by General Jaruzelski, after this period of Communism, we have this place where we were free.
39:29This holy icon is a sign of presence, her presence here.
39:35She is here, and we believe that she is as a mother, as a Queen of the Polish Nation, of course.
39:51Then the time comes for the Queen of Poland to be hidden again.
40:29Two hours from the monastery is one of the most infamous places in Europe.
40:37Occupied Poland was where the Nazis put their most notorious concentration camps.
40:43This, one of the earliest, is in the town of Oswiecim, in German, Auschwitz.
40:52Converted in 1940 from a Polish army barracks, Auschwitz I is where the techniques of mass killing were honed.
41:04This was one of the gas chambers, and these were some of the first ovens developed to destroy, quickly and efficiently, all traces of organised murder.
41:19In the rooms where men, women and children were incarcerated are displays of what was found when the camp was finally liberated.
41:33Canisters of the killing gas, Cyclone B.
41:37Canisters of the killing gas, Cyclone B.
42:01Piles of human hair.
42:07Piles of human hair.
42:25And somehow most moving of all for me, the bags and suitcases that once contained someone's last possessions.
42:37And on them the names of their owners, written in hope.
42:59I suppose it's good that places like this are still here, with the evidence of brutality kept in good condition.
43:06But I wish I could believe that people will never be like this again.
43:14I've reached Krakow.
43:16My conveyance this morning is the Trabant.
43:20Made in East Germany, it was the people's car of Communist Europe.
43:25Thank you, thank you very much.
43:28Hello there, good morning, I'm Michael.
43:33Let's go.
43:35Reverse.
43:41Among some young Poles, the humble Trabant has acquired cult status.
43:46Entrepreneurs like my driver, Kuba Bialak, are using them to offer less conventional city tours.
43:52Tell me about the car, Kuba, the great Trabant.
43:58Here we just got the speed meter.
44:01There's temperature of oil, which of course doesn't work.
44:05And the most tricky thing about Trabant is that it doesn't have a fuel gauge.
44:10There's no fuel gauge and the gas tank is under the hood.
44:14So we've got the hood, the engine and the gas tank.
44:18The gas tank is just by the engine, you know.
44:20So some people claim that it's not too safe.
44:23What is over there?
44:27This?
44:28A knob.
44:29So this knob is to turn on the light.
44:32You better have that, because I don't know quite how to use it, where it goes.
44:36Me neither, so...
44:38We'll just...
44:40You keep that in your pocket for later.
44:43Hang on to it.
44:46What's next to it?
44:48The next is for the windscreen.
44:52This is for lights.
44:55That's good.
44:57Windscreen wipers, that's fine.
44:59But the lights don't work properly, so I just don't use them until it's dark.
45:04It's too dark.
45:05So there's a heating.
45:07Of course it's not air-conditioned, it's just a basic heating.
45:10But the thing is, I've been doing this for the last six months.
45:13I have no idea how it works.
45:15So we don't know how it works.
45:18For a small car, the Trabant leaves a hell of a carbon footprint.
45:24But Kuba seems undeterred.
45:28It's a minor worry compared to some of his problems.
45:31Quite often, maybe once in a month or something like that,
45:35the wheels, they fell off.
45:38I mean, not all of the wheels.
45:41It's just one wheel.
45:43But we've got four of them, and in two of them, the wheels fell off five times.
45:47So, of course, it happened during the tour.
45:51You drive a Trabant, like now, 60 or something,
45:54and suddenly, well, you are without the wheel.
45:58So you're in the middle of the road, in the middle of the traffic,
46:01and you're in big problem,
46:03because it's not so easy to keep it running quite straight with three wheels holding it.
46:10It's not just the car that's different on Kuba's tour.
46:13It's the destination.
46:16So, here we are.
46:18Old part of Nowa Huta.
46:21Shape of the semicircle, like a fan.
46:24I can show you a few photos,
46:27because, well, it's good to see how big achievement it was.
46:32Because back in the 50s, so please remember, 1949,
46:36beginning of the whole construction, first settlers.
46:41That's just farmland, isn't it?
46:43Just the farmland, exactly.
46:45Greenfield, nothing on it.
46:47But in the 10 years, well, take a look what they did.
46:51We've got this central square that we can see on the map.
46:55It's here.
46:56And you see how grand it is.
46:58Very formal.
46:59Very formal.
47:05Kuba shows me the Grand Arcade,
47:08Kuba shows me the Grand Arcades of Nowa Huta,
47:11designed to prove that the proletariat
47:13could have a city just as beautiful as anything
47:15in snobby, priest-ridden Krakow.
47:18But in the 1980s, he tells me, it all went wrong.
47:22Like the shipyard workers of Gdansk,
47:24the steelworkers of Nowa Huta rose in protest,
47:27turning on the party and looking instead to the West.
47:38The sight of mountain peaks
47:39comes as quite a shock after weeks on the plane.
47:42Ahead are the high Tatras, half in Poland, half in Slovakia.
47:46I'm in the village of Biała Toczanska,
47:48where the highland wedding is about to take place.
47:59Two all-singing masters of ceremonies
48:02are delivering the bridegroom, a ski instructor,
48:06who is escorted by two bridesmaids,
48:09quite possibly ski instructors.
48:17On arrival at the house,
48:18Mariusz is welcomed by his bride Berta,
48:21wearing a heavy, metre-long headdress,
48:23which he's not allowed to take off
48:25until the end of a wedding day.
48:36They're serenaded into the house
48:37and up to the bride's bedroom.
48:54Here, amidst total lack of privacy,
48:56Mariusz has to take off his shirt
48:58and put on one prepared by his bride.
49:05No fumbling goes unrecorded.
49:36At some point in the day's crowded programme,
49:39Mariusz and Berta actually get to church
49:42and marry each other.
50:02After the wedding,
50:04I take a walk in the hills,
50:06only to find the photographer's got them up here as well.
50:18Berta's being photographed
50:19with all the men she hasn't married today.
50:26She seems to be rather enjoying it.
50:29No!
50:32But who am I to talk?
50:56I keep trying to get away,
50:58but the photographer's insatiable.
51:07Now the wedding action shifts,
51:08bizarrely, to the local fire station.
51:13In small villages like this,
51:15it's often the only place
51:16with a room big enough for a party.
51:22I really feel for Berta.
51:24Ski instructing must be a doddle after this.
51:28It's so good.
51:33It's very hard to dance when you're drunk.
51:36Yeah, exactly.
51:37Better not drink too badly.
51:39Quite dainty.
51:44A supercharged vodka,
51:45specially bottled for this great day,
51:47keeps the 200 guests going.
51:50And going.
51:53This is supposed to be a bit of a comedy performance.
51:55It's supposed to be serious.
51:58We also have gożałeczka.
52:03Gożałeczka means wedding vodka.
52:05All right.
52:09What is wedding vodka?
52:10Is that different from normal vodka?
52:12Yes, it's much stronger, I have to say.
52:14It's almost 90%.
52:16This is what these people
52:17have been drinking for the last six hours?
52:19Yes.
52:20Like two bottles per head.
52:22Wow.
52:23This is what I drink.
52:26They prepare 1,600 bottles for this wedding.
52:34And they come back tomorrow, don't they?
52:36Tomorrow is after Friday
52:38and they leave after tomorrow.
52:43They have to bring all these bottles they prepare.
52:46They know how to get married.
52:51I'm very happy for Mariusz and Berta.
52:55This is a night they'll never forget
52:57and probably never remember.
53:05I'm in the gorge of the Dunajec River
53:07which, after my long journey through the country,
53:09will take me out of Poland.
53:12And as I've learnt here in the Tatras,
53:14mountain people have a special way of doing things.
53:25Hey, hey, hey.
53:27There's a small village in the forest.
53:30Hey, it's called Sromovci.
53:35Hey, hey, hey.
53:39Well, this for me is the last of Poland.
53:42And I mean literally the last of Poland
53:44because this river marks
53:45the southern border of the country.
53:47So, farewell and thank you
53:50for everything to Poland.
53:52And here we come to Slovakia.
54:23Slovakia
54:25Slovakia
54:27Slovakia
54:29Slovakia
54:31Slovakia
54:33Slovakia
54:35Slovakia
54:37Slovakia
54:39Slovakia
54:41Slovakia
54:43Slovakia
54:45Slovakia