The Legend of Tarzan S01 Ep29 - Tarzan and the Missing Link

  • 2 days ago
Philander promises to trap Tarzan for the thugs, instead of paying his debts, but all he can find is the Professor pretending to be Tarzan. Can they fool the thugs, or are they doomed?

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TV
Transcript
00:00Take that! And that! Ha ha! There's no escaping me now! Feel my wrath! Archimedes Porter, you know-nothing fraud! Ha! Direct hit!
00:24Serves you right, Porter! You and that monkey-man Tarzan may have reduced me to poverty and humiliation, but tonight, I, Samuel T. Philander, shall reclaim the scientific limelight thanks to my ground-breaking discovery!
00:42No! My formula!
00:51Last you, Porter!
00:56Time's up, Philander!
00:58Gentlemen, what, pray tell, brings you by on this lovely, um...
01:04The money you owe! We want it now!
01:06All of it! And if I'm a few pence shy?
01:12It's bath time!
01:17But it's not my fault! It's all the doings of that infernal Porter and his beastly sidekick, Tarzan!
01:24Tarzan? Gentlemen, I can offer you something of much greater value than mere cash.
01:33Behold, Tarzan, the missing link! A savage man-ape from the wilds of Africa!
01:40Who cares? We want our money!
01:42My point exactly! A scientific find of this magnitude will bring with it fame and fortune!
01:48Museums, traveling exhibitions, circus sideshows! He'll be the proverbial cash-cow! Or should I say, cash-ape!
01:56But if you'd rather toss me out of the window, go right ahead! Let someone else get all the glory and riches! Come on, throw me out the window! I don't have all day!
02:04Well, when you put it like that...
02:06Well, smashing! We'll catch the next boat to Africa!
02:09And when we arrive, Tarzan won't know what hit him.
02:31Where are we?
02:33Not sure exactly. Some marvelous untouched corner of the jungle. Oh, look! Another new species!
02:47Shall we name this one after you?
02:49Africanus Tantorius has a nice ring, don't you think?
02:52How about Tantorius Gohomius? This place is creepy!
02:56Nonsense, Tantor! We're perfectly safe here!
02:59What a cornucopia of science! I've lost count of all the various species we've discovered today!
03:06Yeah, me too! So, what say we go home then?
03:10Tantor, you're not still nervous, are you?
03:13Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Yes, extremely! Can we just go, please? Please?
03:23No need to worry, Tantor! If anything were amiss, Professor Archimedes' cube portal would be the first to know!
03:34Now, see here, you...
03:43Oh, dear. It's that rather ferocious rogue!
03:47Papaya!
03:50So, how've you been?
04:02You know, some marvellous advances have been made in the field of elephant psychology.
04:07Perhaps with a good therapist, you might...
04:10Never mind!
04:18Oh, dear me!
04:32Are you all right?
04:34Oh, oh, quite so. Thank you, my boy.
04:47Oh, dear.
05:17Oh, dear.
05:48You know, we'd get there much sooner if you two gentlemen helped.
05:51Is it, our dear? If you want to get there at all, talk less, rope more!
05:56Oh, there's no need to get snippy. I was only suggesting that...
05:58Rope! Now!
06:05It's all right, Tantor. He's gone.
06:08You two need to be more careful about where you go.
06:11It's my fault, Tarzan. I'm afraid I don't know the jungle so well after all.
06:18Oh, now, Professor, don't be so hard on yourself.
06:21You know the jungle as well as anybody.
06:24You... you think so?
06:26Oh, yes! Absolutely!
06:28Oh, well, thank you, Tantor.
06:30Your words mean a great deal to me. A great deal indeed.
06:34Now, let's go home, shall we?
06:36Let's.
06:38Uh, Professor?
06:40Yes, Tarzan? Home is this way.
06:43Oh. Oh, quite right.
06:46So it is. My, uh... my mistake.
06:55Uh, Daddy, don't you think this is a bit extreme?
06:58It's the only way, Janie!
07:00I stick out like a sore thumb in this jungle, a danger to myself and others!
07:05The only cure? Total immersion research!
07:09Couldn't you at least immerse yourself while wearing pants?
07:12Well, it wouldn't be total, then, would it?
07:14No, only by living among the apes as Tarzan did can I shed what remains of my clumsy,
07:21civilised ways and become one with the jungle!
07:34You see, I'm already one with this tree.
07:40Move along, now! We've got an ape-man to catch!
07:43I just need a few more moments to recover, if you don't mind.
07:48Oh! Oh! Um...
07:50Lead the way, Doc. But remember, unless we find this Tarzan soon,
07:53you're going to end up in a museum yourself.
07:56Yeah, stuffed and mounted.
07:58Right. Um, this way.
08:02Allow me.
08:05Ah!
08:07Oh! Hello! Lovely day, isn't it?
08:11Ah!
08:14Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
08:16Ah! Ah!
08:18Oh! Oh! Oh!
08:20Oh! Oh! Oh!
08:31Oh! Oh!
08:33Oh!
08:35Oh, many thanks, Tarzan.
08:37Berry season's here, Daddy, so we're all going picking. Care to join?
08:41It's going to be yummy!
08:43At this crucial stage of my research?
08:45Oh, I couldn't possibly!
08:47You go and enjoy. Don't worry about me.
08:50Oh!
08:59It's all coming together now!
09:04We've been circling around the jungle all day.
09:07I've run out of patience.
09:09Very well, then. Let's take a break here.
09:12No. I mean, I've had enough of you and your schemes.
09:15Ah! Um... Ah! What are you doing?
09:18Saying goodbye. In our own special way.
09:21Wait! You can't! Be reasonable!
09:24Ah!
09:26Porter?
09:28Swing from a vine?
09:31Swing from a vine?
09:33Jungly loincloth?
09:35He doesn't look young and strapping.
09:37Still, it must be Tarzan.
09:39Tarzan? Don't be absurd! That's, uh...
09:42No, it's Tarzan, of course it is. Absolutely.
09:46After him!
09:52Ah!
09:57Ah!
10:00There must be some mistake!
10:09Oh, dear!
10:23We've got you now, Tarzan. Tarzan?
10:26Tarzan is his name. Yes, sir. This is definitely Tarzan.
10:30Mr. Missing Link himself. Tarzan!
10:37Tarzan's confused.
10:39Give me a moment to explain the situation in his native tongue.
10:44Quiet down and play along, Porter. These louts are dangerous.
10:47Don't worry. He's beginning to understand.
10:50Good. Because if we find you're trying to pull something...
10:53We'll toss you both off a cliff.
10:56Off a cliff?
10:58Yes, Tarzan. These men mean business.
11:01You'll do well not to resist them.
11:10Did you hear that? Kind of a menacing, stalking sound.
11:13Would you drop it already?
11:15We're almost to the berry patch and not a rogue elephant in sight.
11:18Face it, Mabaya is long gone.
11:21I guess you're right.
11:26I still don't get it.
11:28This old coot doesn't look one bit like that picture you drew.
11:31Well, I'm a man of science, not the arts.
11:35But you said Tarzan was big and strong.
11:38So was he weak and small.
11:41Yes, I see your point.
11:43Tarzan, you've disappointed me. You've really let yourself go.
11:48All right, Philander.
11:50I demand a thorough explanation for this entire affair.
11:53You demand? This is all your fault.
11:56If it were not for you, I wouldn't be in debt.
11:58I wouldn't be a scientific joke.
12:00So you're going to jolly well act like Tarzan.
12:02I'm not. I'm not.
12:04Something funny's going on here.
12:07The truth is, I'm no good at this jungle man charade.
12:11I suppose I don't belong here at all.
12:15Well, you'd better find a way to make them believe it.
12:17Or we'll both end up as crocodile food.
12:19What are you trying to pull, Philander?
12:21Nothing at all.
12:23Perhaps observing the missing link in his natural habitat
12:26will best convince you of his authenticity.
12:29Just follow my lead, Alvin.
12:31Watch Tarzan move about the jungle
12:34and you'll see how far from human he really is.
12:37For example, Tarzan likes to roll around in the dirt.
12:44I said he likes to roll around in the dirt.
12:54A generous coat of soil keeps him free of fleas and ticks.
12:58Ah, now here's something interesting.
13:01Tarzan just loves fruit.
13:06But he doesn't eat it.
13:08Oh, no. He likes to smear it all over his face.
13:13This is how Tarzan beats the heat.
13:16He learned it from the apes.
13:20Why, you...
13:27Oh, you naughty little monkey man.
13:29And that, of course, was an example of social grooming.
13:33Ah, here we go.
13:35Like the apes, Tarzan's diet consists largely of termites and grub worms
13:41just like this juicy one right here.
13:45There you are, Tarzan, a nice big juicy one.
13:49Bon appétit.
13:52Who loves berries?
13:56Well, shouldn't we wash them first?
13:58I mean, we don't know where they've been.
14:00They've been here, but I know where they're going.
14:04Yum.
14:07Daddy's going to be sorry he missed this.
14:10Delicious.
14:17No, Gondor, run!
14:23Did I tell you? Or did I tell you?
14:25Be careful, Tarzan!
14:40Tarzan, save us!
15:00Are you all right?
15:01I'm fine, but Mabaya's headed back in the direction of...
15:04Daddy!
15:05Are you all right?
15:06I'm fine, but Mabaya's headed back in the direction of...
15:09Daddy!
15:10The family!
15:11I'll warn them. You catch up.
15:13And by throwing the fruit, Tarzan hopes to establish his superiority.
15:20Enough!
15:21You told us that Tarzan could do amazing things, like scurry up into trees,
15:26swing on vines, make flying leaps, and slide along branches.
15:30So get moving.
15:32Ah, yes, well, it's just that, um...
15:35Of course.
15:46That does it.
15:47Right back where we started, eh?
15:58One, two...
16:02Three...
16:10Climbing...
16:13Leaping...
16:15Swinging...
16:17Sliding...
16:18Now that's Tarzan!
16:20So who needs these two?
16:27Grab a hold!
16:29You are entirely to blame for this fiasco, Philander.
16:33Don't you think we would be better served by focusing our efforts on getting out of our predicament?
16:38And it's your fault, Porter.
16:44Don't move a muscle.
16:47How will that help us get back up?
16:49It won't, but at least it won't send us hurtling down.
16:53Daddy! Hang on!
16:59Careful, Janie! It's about to break!
17:06What happened?
17:09Well done, Tantor!
17:12Ow, ow, ow! My nose!
17:15Ready! Pull!
17:17Excellent! Just a little more now!
17:23Ah, terra firma.
17:25Ah, terra firma.
17:27The first good thing that's happened since I brought those two thugs from London, I...
17:35Um, yes. That is... I mean, um...
17:38You led them here to catch Tarzan!
17:40Oh, and what if I did?
17:42It would have worked, too, if Nature Boy hadn't gotten in the way.
17:45I mean, look at you in that outfit!
17:47You don't belong in the jungle! You said it yourself!
17:50It's a wonder I was able to convince them that you were Tarzan at all!
17:53I mean, look at you! Please!
17:56You need a matching handbag to go with that loincloth? It's ridiculous!
18:11Tarzan's behind you!
18:23Tarzan!
18:45N-n-n-nice elephant.
18:47Tarzan!
18:57It appears Mobiah now has other diversions, eh, Tarzan?
19:01But those ruffians won't soon forget about me!
19:04You know, Porter, there's no reason we can't put aside our differences and rehabilitate both our good names.
19:11Perhaps publish a paper or two together, hmm?
19:15Hmm, interesting notion.
19:17Of course there is the small matter of you being a lying, conniving, backstabbing charlatan!
19:25Oh, pffft. That's old news. Each day a new beginning, right?
19:30What do you say?
19:32Well, I say...
19:34CRONK!
19:36NO!
19:43Now you're talking!
19:44I couldn't have said it better myself!
19:46Daddy, there is no question that you belong here in the jungle.
19:49Thank you my dear, I owe it all to my total immersion research.
19:54Speaking of which, if anyone needs me, I'll be deep in the jungle blending in.
20:00Oh daddy, stop!
20:02Sorry, Jane. No stopping me now.
20:04No, that's not what I...
20:06...meant.
20:07Now there's a sight I can live without.
20:09Heh heh.
20:10You know, Jenny, perhaps pants aren't such a bad idea after all.

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