90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way Season 6 Episode 15 - Fools Rushed In - Part 1
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I DONT OWN THIS VIDEO. THIS VIDEO IS ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE
ENJOY
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00:00Harper is really showing me that he is trying and that he can make changes.
00:05I'm trying my best to change myself.
00:08Look at you.
00:09I'm learning.
00:11Okay, that's good.
00:12Give me some treats.
00:16Do you know Joel's my stepmom now?
00:18Like, wow.
00:20We were so blind by our love, but this little fantasy we have might not actually work out.
00:26I want this to be home base.
00:28But your opinion matters to me.
00:30Your feelings matter.
00:31And I will not abandon my kids.
00:34Just need time to sit on it.
00:38Last night, we go to dinner.
00:40Money, 500.
00:42I know you love telling me how much money you spent.
00:45Here we go again.
00:46She wants to bring up money, this time in front of my brother.
00:49Saturday, I don't want to eat dinner.
00:57What if it was too much for me and I decided and told you, like,
01:01I never see myself having kids.
01:04I don't think it's something I can do.
01:06It's like, what's the purpose of marriage then?
01:11I can't lose her.
01:15If we didn't have a kid, would I be enough?
01:26Hey.
01:40Hello.
01:41Hello.
01:42How are you?
01:43Yeah.
01:44Welcome, please have a seat.
01:51How are you feeling?
01:52I feel like I need to comfort you.
01:53Yes.
01:54Because you're the nervous one.
01:56You will go into surgery and I feel nervous too much.
02:00I know.
02:02I'm just worried about you.
02:04I've been wanting to get a nose job ever since I was a teenager.
02:09And I did.
02:10I got two, but they just didn't result in something I was happy with.
02:14So, my nose surgery is scheduled for tomorrow.
02:18Hello.
02:19Hello.
02:20And today I'm going in for my rhinoplasty consultation.
02:24I'm really excited to meet the doctor.
02:26He's very well known in Turkey.
02:28Hopefully, the third time is the charm.
02:30You had a surgery previously?
02:32I've had two.
02:34I had one.
02:35You had two before?
02:36Yes, two.
02:37I had one 17 years ago.
02:39And then one, let's see, seven.
02:44Seven years ago?
02:45Yeah, there was like 10 years between, yeah.
02:47Half of my cases are revision-like.
02:49From all over the world.
02:51Your nose is not bad.
02:53Yeah.
02:54But can be better.
02:56Yes, can be better.
02:57I especially think from this side of my face, it's very bad.
03:01This side is not as bad.
03:03I don't know why it's so different from one to the other.
03:05It is not fitting, your face.
03:07It is, I think, bothering your beauty.
03:10With the nose surgery, you will look much more younger.
03:13Yes.
03:14And also much more beautiful.
03:16Because the nose, this is the heart of our face.
03:19It's affecting everything.
03:21May I ask you something, by the way?
03:23I mean, I am so nervous.
03:26I am more nervous than her.
03:29I'm excited he's nervous.
03:31What's the duration of the surgery?
03:36Normally, around three hours.
03:39I'm so anxious about her surgery because she will take anesthetics
03:45and it can take two, three hours, I don't know.
03:48I tried my best to convince her, you are already beautiful.
03:52You are starting to look like a factory production.
03:56Every girl started to look like each other.
03:59I don't want that, but she wants it.
04:02So, it's out of my hands, all control.
04:06Okay.
04:07First of all, your nose looks a bit longer according to your face.
04:12Normally, there's a ratio between the nose and the face about the length.
04:17One piece, the second piece, and the third piece.
04:21These all must be equal in each other.
04:23But your middle part is a bit longer, yeah.
04:27It seems like droopy, especially when you smile.
04:31Yes, the cartilage support is not good.
04:33It's like a loose nose, and we are aging.
04:36It is coming down in time, but your skin quality is not bad.
04:42Okay.
04:43It is easy shapeable.
04:44Yes.
04:45Can I ask you something?
04:46Yeah.
04:47I'm a little control freak in our relationship.
04:49And he's so nervous about this.
04:50And I just studied my work.
04:52Can I show you something?
04:53Yes, absolutely.
04:55He has a vision for what he wants my nose to look like.
04:59Yeah.
05:01When I saw there's no chance we can cancel the surgery,
05:05I said, at least give me a chance to talk to the doctor and tell him what I want.
05:13Because I will be the one who will see that every day.
05:17So, let me do it for you.
05:21So, we are shaving this part.
05:23Yes.
05:24And this part.
05:25Yes.
05:26We are filling this part.
05:27Yes, with spreader grafts.
05:29Okay.
05:30Okay.
05:31And then we are changing this part for definition work.
05:37It's the first time this is happening.
05:40Different.
05:41Weird.
05:42But it's okay.
05:43He draw good points.
05:46He noticed good points.
05:48And I agree with him also.
05:50I cannot come to operation.
05:53You will bother us.
05:54I will stay in the corner waiting.
05:57He is more nervous than Shikaina.
06:00And also he loves her.
06:01And he want to feel a bit secure.
06:03But, you know, there can be some complications.
06:08We couldn't control everything.
06:11But we have to be in a good team.
06:14We trust each other.
06:15We have to be patient.
06:16Then our results will be much more acceptable.
06:19Okay, we have the same vision.
06:22How do I look, baby?
06:23You look like a cat.
06:38Wow.
06:40So you're packing already?
06:42Oh, yeah.
06:44Got a lot to do, you know.
06:48Since we told them the news,
06:49we've been trying our best to have a family vacation,
06:52chill out, and help them digest.
06:55But I could tell by Joey's energy that he's still way off.
07:00Joey, what are you doing?
07:02But I could tell by Joey's energy that he's still way off.
07:07Today we are being tourists.
07:09That's what we're doing.
07:10Joey, anywhere you want to go.
07:12Home.
07:13Home, home?
07:14Home, home.
07:15All right.
07:18Joey is 100% my kid.
07:20And so when we don't want to deal with our emotions,
07:22we will make passive-aggressive comments.
07:24We will be sarcastic.
07:26And he has been doing all of the above.
07:29It was a lot to take in the fact that we were married,
07:32but I think Joey's main concern is the move over to Ireland.
07:38So I want to talk to him a little bit more.
07:42So how are you feeling about everything
07:44that I've pretty much dumped on your lap in a short period of time?
07:49I mean, it is what it is.
07:54Right.
07:56I have some questions for you, definitely.
07:58Okay.
07:59So do you have a date yet?
08:02I don't have a date yet because I wanted to see how this went.
08:05I mean, I have to make a better calendar for how long I'll be here for
08:11and how long I will be in New York for.
08:14I'm not going to up and leave you guys, you know.
08:19I would hope not.
08:20I wouldn't.
08:21You guys are my kids.
08:22You know what I mean?
08:23You come first.
08:24I want to be happy.
08:25I want to live in the moment.
08:26But I also live for you guys.
08:30Who do I have now?
08:32If you're not here, Dad lives 45 minutes away.
08:37Something happens with Jesse in school.
08:39Right.
08:40You know, like, it's really just going to be me, I feel like.
08:44You're not going to be responsible for Jesse.
08:48You're not taking my role.
08:49You're not Jesse's parent.
08:51I am still your parent and his parent.
08:54I understand that I'll be further away,
08:56but I would, of course, get on the next plane if I needed to get to New York.
09:01Clearly.
09:02And we have family.
09:04We have a lot of people.
09:05I mean, you know Grandma and Grandpa, they're going to help.
09:08But if Jesse's like, hey, I'm coming and I want to live there, then okay.
09:14You know what I mean?
09:15Then I'm by myself, no?
09:17And then you could come.
09:19What if I don't want to?
09:20Then you stay.
09:21Whatever makes you happy.
09:23If you don't want me to move, then let's say that.
09:25I feel like it's a lose-lose situation here.
09:29It's not that I don't want you to.
09:31It's just, like, I'd rather not have my mom, like, in a different country.
09:39Like, it's a big deal.
09:40Yeah.
09:41For everybody.
09:43Right.
09:44I get that.
09:47I made the decision to marry someone across the Atlantic and want to move there.
09:54I never really want to think about the negatives in any situation, so I really wasn't thinking about any of the negatives.
10:00I was being like, yeah, this is going to work.
10:03But Joey has a lot of questions, and all of them valid.
10:08There are many layers to this decision that Siobhan and I did not take into consideration.
10:14I'm your mom, and I love you very much, so we're going to figure this out together as a family.
10:21I'm not abandoning you guys, so it's like, I don't want you to think that I am.
10:26I don't know how—I really don't know how it's going to, like, just all fall into place.
10:33Everyone needs to work around your decision right now.
10:40There's salt in the open wound.
10:45These are the problems.
10:46I have really paid a lot for him, but he still thinks I don't love him because he feels bad that he can't contribute.
10:53Jerry is not going to be here with me forever.
10:55I can't live a life of always arguing.
11:00We just stay in my parents' house, like a hotel.
11:05I want to, like, ask help.
11:08I don't speak Indonesian fluently.
11:29But I do thank you for ruining Jerry's night tonight, sweetie.
11:33Sorry, Jerry.
11:35No, you didn't ruin my night.
11:37I'm happy.
11:44We arrived safely and quickly.
11:48I asked Lily to take us somewhere where we could try some different Chinese dishes.
11:53But after our argument in the car, it's a little awkward now.
11:58Okay.
12:00What do we got here?
12:02What's your favorite thing to do down here?
12:04Favorite food, this here.
12:06Yeah, when you come here, what do you normally do?
12:09Ooh, look at those.
12:11Oh, look good.
12:13Yeah.
12:14Having Jerry here is actually helping ease a lot of the tension between Lily and I.
12:19He's always been a peacemaker in my previous relationships.
12:23Oh, I think this soup is my favorite.
12:27Your favorite?
12:28Yeah.
12:29Is that pear?
12:30Pear, yeah.
12:31Pear soup.
12:32I'm going to see what else is here before I eat.
12:35Okay, you and me, okay?
12:36Got it.
12:37Let's do that.
12:38We want two.
12:42Very good, thank you.
12:43Thank you, sir.
12:44Delicious, delicious.
12:52Delicious, delicious.
12:53Yummy, yummy.
12:55This is very good.
12:56Very yummy.
12:57Very yummy, yes.
12:58I love it.
13:00Jerry may like what's coming up over here.
13:02Jerry, you like what?
13:04Yeah, the squid.
13:05This one right here?
13:06Just take it?
13:07Oh, I got you.
13:08Yes, cook it.
13:09Yes, thank you.
13:11Barbecue.
13:12Barbecue.
13:13Good.
13:14No, that's good.
13:15Take your time on that.
13:18On the way down here, Josh and Lily get in this argument
13:22that shouldn't be happening a couple days before the wedding.
13:24This should be the happiest time of their life.
13:26So I'm not sure if they're fighting over some petty things,
13:30trying to see who's going to give first,
13:32or if there is some serious stuff going on that I don't know about.
13:36It's very hard to get a feel for what's going on.
13:40This is very different than how they serve it in Michigan.
13:48So I think it would be very nice, or helpful,
13:51just to find closure on the conversation we had in the car.
13:58I do want to ask about the finances, knowing he can't work.
14:03He's mentioned that you might have given him a little bit of grief
14:09about not being able to contribute financially.
14:12Is that something that is going to bother you, that he can't provide?
14:19My English is not good. I'm so sorry.
14:22It's okay.
14:26Very thorough.
14:27Just type it away.
14:33I don't care if Josh is poor or rich.
14:37What I care about is love, and he makes me feel unloved.
14:43Sometimes he even says some language that hurts me.
14:46So these are the problems.
14:47I have really paid a lot for him, but he still thinks I don't love him.
14:53I think that he's saying he doesn't want to know
14:58about how much you're paying for him,
15:01because he feels bad that he can't contribute.
15:05Do you understand?
15:08Yes, I understand.
15:10There's no wrong.
15:14I'm right.
15:20Yes.
15:22I'm not saying that I seem to have spent a lot of money on something for him,
15:27but rather I want to make him have this kind of gratitude.
15:32Ah, I'm hearing it. I'm hearing it.
15:36You're reminding Josh of all that you do for him,
15:40not to throw it in his face, but you want to know he's grateful.
15:48Yes.
15:50It's almost like your love languages are switched.
15:55The men usually show their love by buying things,
15:59and then we think that the women, if they don't appreciate the things that we buy,
16:04we don't feel loved.
16:06And I think Josh's love language is just that security, emotional stability.
16:11It just seems like the gender roles are a little bit switched.
16:17I'm more probably the sensitive type.
16:19You know, she's more straightforward, just kind of say it as is.
16:24But as long as we talk and focus on each other and think positive,
16:31I truly believe we can move forward.
16:35Having my brother here is very helpful, but he's not going to be here with me forever.
16:40I really hope that Lily and I can understand each other much better now.
16:45I can't live a life of always arguing.