Veep Season 3 Episode 5 Fishing
Veep Season 3 Episode 5 Fishing
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00:00We are in the ass of the hurricane now.
00:17You may never meet her personally.
00:19She may never catch your eye or ever thank you, but Selina Meyer will never forget you.
00:24You are going to change America in a way that usually only war and fluoride can.
00:31She's going to ask you for a chamomile.
00:33She doesn't want a chamomile.
00:34She wants peppermint.
00:35Okay, she gets a little confused, but do not point it out.
00:38You guys are the chosen ones, all right?
00:41Not in a Jewish way either.
00:42In a, like, selected from a very short list of ten way.
00:45Some people say three microwaves is overkill.
00:48My response is always, tapas.
00:50And never, ever, ever fuck up.
00:53End of induction.
00:54Claire?
00:55Well, the old politics just is not working.
00:58I'm an American, and I aim to be a team player.
01:02Now, running a country isn't a whole heck of a lot different than running a team.
01:07It's just a few more people involved.
01:09What is our take on this one dick pony?
01:11He's an ex-baseball manager.
01:13You know that saying anyone can run for president?
01:17Joe Thornhill is the only reason that that's utter bullshit.
01:21The United States is a team, and I want to be your designated hitter.
01:25You know what?
01:26I gotta say something to these folks.
01:28Okay.
01:29Woo!
01:30Woo!
01:31What is that smell?
01:32What is that smell?
01:33Oh, I just put Icy Hot on my shoulder.
01:34Oh, my God, it's so good.
01:35My nostrils look like Vietnam.
01:36Okay.
01:37You're still speaking, yeah, ma'am?
01:38Yes, I am.
01:39Oh, my goodness!
01:40What a journey we are about to begin.
01:50And how does a journey begin?
01:53With a first step.
01:55So, watch my foot.
01:57Oh!
01:58Genius!
01:59How about that?
02:00That's Mike McClintock.
02:01He's our head of co-comp...
02:02What?
02:03I don't know where he went, but, uh...
02:04Let's do it there!
02:05Yes!
02:06All right.
02:07Where's Gary?
02:08Where's everyone running off to?
02:09Is this the beginning of the rapture, or what?
02:10I wouldn't give it a second thought.
02:11I'm not.
02:12I'm just asking a question.
02:13Okay.
02:14Here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
02:15We have liftoff.
02:16All right, guys.
02:17The rockets are lit.
02:18Let's get this baby in the air.
02:19Show me something.
02:20Show us the...
02:21The...
02:22The...
02:23What you got?
02:24I'm just an honest Joe, and I like to speak my mind.
02:25Oh, yeah.
02:26Boy.
02:27How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign?
02:28Can you imagine if I did that?
02:29Mississippi is chock-full of assholes.
02:30I don't trust the Chinese.
02:31I'm not gonna tell you something.
02:32I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation.
02:33I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation.
02:34I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation.
02:35I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation.
02:37So, how's that for my platform?
02:38Got my vote.
02:39Yeah.
02:40I got your vote.
02:41Forget about him, all right?
02:42No, no, no.
02:43Concentrate on Maddox, not Thornhill.
02:44Maddox can walk without looking at his feet.
02:45Can we, uh...
02:46Thanks, Anne.
02:47What about this luncheon with Erickson?
02:48Shh.
02:49I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:50I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:51I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:52I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:53I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:54I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:55I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:56I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:57I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:58I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
02:59I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:00I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:01I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:02I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:03I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:04I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:05I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:06I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:07I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:08I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:09I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:10I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:11I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:12I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:13I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:14I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:15I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:16I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:17I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:18I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:19I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:20I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:21I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:22I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:23I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:24I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:25I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:26I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:27I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:28I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:29I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:30I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:31I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:32I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:33I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:34I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:35I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:36I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:37I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:38I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:39I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:40I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:41I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:42I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:43I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:44I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:45I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:46I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:47I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:48I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:49I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:50I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:51I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:52I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:53I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:54I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing.
03:55Now it's your turn.
03:56I can't say.
03:57I gotta wash my hands.
03:58Oh, my God.
03:59Is that bag full of your fluids?
04:00Not the whole bag.
04:01A specimen cup full of little mikes.
04:02Look, Wendy and I are trying IVF.
04:03We're on a very strict schedule.
04:04Please don't say anything.
04:05You're telling me the whole time I was washing my shoulder
04:06of a shirt you were in there doing that?
04:07Jesus, Carrie.
04:08Grow up.
04:09Oh, my God.
04:10Oh, my God.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:12Oh, my God.
04:13Oh, my God.
04:14Oh, my God.
04:15Oh, my God.
04:16Oh, my God.
04:17Oh, my God.
04:18Oh, my God.
04:19Oh, my God.
04:20Oh, my God.
04:21Oh, my God.
04:22Oh, my God.
04:23Oh, my God.
04:24Oh, my God.
04:25Oh, my God.
04:26Oh, my God.
04:27Oh, my God.
04:28Oh, my God.
04:29Oh, my God.
04:30Oh, my God.
04:31Oh, my God.
04:32Oh, my God.
04:33Oh, my God.
04:34Oh, my God.
04:35Oh, my God.
04:36Oh, my God.
04:37Oh, my God.
04:38Oh, my God.
04:39Oh, my God.
04:40Oh, my God.
04:41Oh, my God.
04:42Oh, my God.
04:43Oh, my God.
04:44Oh, my God.
04:45Oh, my God.
04:46Oh, my God.
04:47Oh, my God.
04:48Oh, my God.
04:49Oh, my God.
04:50Oh, my God.
04:51Oh, my God.
04:52Oh, my God.
04:53Oh, my God.
04:54Oh, my God.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Oh, my God.
04:57Oh, my God.
04:58Oh, my God.
04:59Oh, my God.
05:00Oh, my God.
05:01Oh, my God.
05:02Oh, my God.
05:03Oh, my God.
05:04Oh, my God.
05:05Oh, my God.
05:06Oh, my God.
05:07Oh, my God.
05:08Oh, my God.
05:09Oh, my God.
05:10Oh, my God.
05:11Oh, my God.
05:12Oh, my God.
05:13Oh, my God.
05:14Oh, my God.
05:15Oh, my God.
05:16Oh, my God.
05:17Oh, my God.
05:18Oh, my God.
05:19Oh, my God.
05:20Oh, my God.
05:21Oh, my God.
05:22Oh, my God.
05:23Oh, my God.
05:24Oh, my God.
05:25Oh, my God.
05:26Oh, my God.
05:27Oh, my God.
05:28Oh, my God.
05:29Oh, my God.
05:30Oh, my God.
05:31Oh, my God.
05:32Oh, my God.
05:33Oh, my God.
05:34Oh, my God.
05:35Oh, my God.
05:36Oh, my God.
05:37Oh, my God.
05:38Oh, my God.
05:39Oh, my God.
05:40Oh, my God.
05:41Oh, my God.
05:42Oh, my God.
05:43Oh, my God.
05:44Oh, my God.
05:45Oh, my God.
05:46Oh, my God.
05:47Oh, my God.
05:48Oh, my God.
05:49Oh, my God.
05:50Oh, my God.
05:51Oh, my God.
05:52Oh, my God.
05:53Oh, my God.
05:54Oh, my God.
05:55Oh, my God.
05:56Oh, my God.
05:57Oh, my God.
05:58Oh, my God.
05:59Oh, my God.
06:00Oh, my God.
06:01Oh, my God.
06:02Oh, my God.
06:03Oh, my God.
06:04Oh, my God.
06:05Oh, my God.
06:06Oh, my God.
06:07Oh, my God.
06:08Oh, my God.
06:09Oh, my God.
06:10Oh, my God.
06:11Oh, my God.
06:12Oh, my God.
06:13Oh, my God.
06:14Oh, my God.
06:15Oh, my God.
06:16Oh, my God.
06:17Oh, my God.
06:18Oh, my God.
06:19Oh, my God.
06:20Oh, my God.
06:21Oh, my God.
06:22Oh, my God.
06:23Oh, my God.
06:24Oh, my God.
06:25Oh, my God.
06:26Oh, my God.
06:27Oh, my God.
06:28Oh, my God.
06:29Oh, my God.
06:30Oh, my God.
06:31Oh, my God.
06:32Oh, my God.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:34Oh, my God.
06:35Oh, my God.
06:36Oh, my God.
06:37Oh, my God.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:40Oh, my God.
06:41Oh, my God.
06:42Oh, my God.
06:43Oh, my God.
06:44Oh, my God.
06:45Oh, my God.
06:46Oh, my God.
06:47Oh, my God.
06:48Oh, my God.
06:49Oh, my God.
06:50Oh, my God.
06:51Oh, my God.
06:52Oh, my God.
06:53Oh, my God.
06:54Oh, my God.
06:55Oh, my God.
06:56Oh, my God.
06:57Oh, my God.
06:58Oh, my God.
06:59Oh, my God.
07:00Oh, my God.
07:01Oh, my God.
07:02Oh, my God.
07:03Oh, my God.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:05Oh, my God.
07:06Oh, my God.
07:07Oh, my God.
07:08Oh, my God.
07:09Oh, my God.
07:10Oh, my God.
07:11Oh, my God.
07:12Oh, my God.
07:13Oh, my God.
07:14Oh, my God.
07:15Oh, my God.
07:16Oh, my God.
07:17Oh, my God.
07:18Oh, my God.
07:19Oh, my God.
07:20Oh, my God.
07:21Oh, my God.
07:22Oh, my God.
07:23Oh, my God.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Oh, my God.
07:27Oh, my God.
07:28Oh, my God.
07:29Oh, my God.
07:30Oh, my God.
07:31Oh, my God.
07:32Oh, my God.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:34Oh, my God.
07:35Oh, my God.
07:36Oh, my God.
07:37Oh, my God.
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39Oh, my God.
07:40Oh, my God.
07:41Oh, my God.
07:42Oh, my God.
07:43Oh, my God.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45Oh, my God.
07:46Oh, my God.
07:47Oh, my God.
07:48Oh, my God.
07:49Oh, my God.
07:50Oh, my God.
07:51Oh, my God.
07:52Oh, my God.
07:53Oh, my God.
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55Oh, my God.
07:56Oh, my God.
07:57Oh, my God.
07:58Oh, my God.
07:59Oh, my God.
08:00Oh, my God.
08:01Oh, my God.
08:02Oh, my God.
08:03Oh, my God.
08:04Oh, my God.
08:05Oh, my God.
08:06Oh, my God.
08:07Oh, my God.
08:08Oh, my God.
08:09Oh, my God.
08:10Oh, my God.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:12Oh, my God.
08:13Oh, my God.
08:14And again.
08:15Ah!
08:16That's it.
08:17And at work, you're required to carry a heavy bag?
08:20Yeah, that's one of my many responsibilities.
08:22Is your bag integral to your job?
08:24What other duties do you have?
08:26That's classified information.
08:28Carrying it like this, you're going to need a new shoulder.
08:31Is that an option?
08:32Because I can do that.
08:33You need to get a new job.
08:34Someone around here needs to get a new job, and it ain't me.
08:39I'm not sure if I understand this.
08:41I'm not sure that I want to explain it to you again.
08:43Dan?
08:44Nope, too busy.
08:45God, load faster, you asshole.
08:47Gary, get your arm out of my airspace before I shoot it down.
08:50Hello, top minds.
08:53Afternoon, ma'am.
08:55So, is there a Maddox update?
08:57Have you heard that he gave Jonah a job?
08:59No way.
09:01Are you kidding me?
09:02That's the update?
09:03I know, right?
09:04No.
09:07I'm talking about Maddox and me.
09:09Jesus Christ.
09:11I'm 30 yards ahead of this guy.
09:13I should be three miles ahead.
09:15I should beat the three-mile candidate.
09:17Three-mile has negative connotations, ma'am.
09:19There was a nuclear disaster there.
09:21Yeah.
09:22Well, there might be one here, too.
09:23Ma'am, George Maddox would like to meet this weekend.
09:26Where?
09:27He's inviting you to his country house.
09:29What for?
09:30A murder mystery weekend?
09:31Oh, I love the country.
09:32Peeing in a bush, being talked to on a porch.
09:35It's kind of like being a dog.
09:37Well, ma'am, we need to stop Maddox from running.
09:39I know that aim.
09:40Offer him something shiny like state.
09:42Mike, you're going to come with me.
09:44Me?
09:45Yeah.
09:46Really?
09:47Yeah.
09:48Um, I have really important stuff to do here, ma'am.
09:52Oh, I'm so sorry.
09:54Am I keeping you from anything?
09:56Yeah, but I guess I could do it in the country.
10:00Uh, don't you have allergies, Mike?
10:04Oh, I do actually have allergies.
10:06Yeah.
10:07You do know that this isn't a hobby, right?
10:11What isn't a hobby?
10:13This job.
10:14Oh.
10:15Of course I know that.
10:16Yeah.
10:19With the living fox?
10:21Ma'am, I could go.
10:22I can't choose either of you guys to go,
10:24because then it's going to show some sort of campaign manager bias,
10:27and you'll freak out.
10:29No, I can totally take that aside.
10:31Seriously?
10:32100%.
10:33Of course.
10:34All right, then, Dan, you're coming.
10:35Yes.
10:36Perfect.
10:37Well, actually, I have a load of laundry to do.
10:39Strategy docs to work on, kid.
10:41You falling behind there, Ames?
10:43No, I'm keeping ahead.
10:44Really?
10:45Because, you know, I can do that on the run, so.
10:53People like Maddox always have guns on the walls next to the animal heads.
10:58It's like a flow chart for people who don't know what firearms do.
11:05Madam Vice President.
11:06George!
11:07Come on in.
11:09It's so good to see you.
11:10Is Eleanor here?
11:12No, she's not, thankfully.
11:14She's not a fan of political talk, I mean.
11:18Oh, I see.
11:19Right.
11:20These are just in your face,
11:24in a kind of a fantastic way.
11:27Yeah.
11:28Did you kill these?
11:29No, they were pre-killed.
11:31Oh, sorry.
11:33Jake, could you get their bags?
11:35Yes, sir.
11:36Oh, hi, Jake.
11:40You're Maddox's bag man?
11:42That's quite a demotion.
11:44I'm sorry.
11:45I have several responsibilities for Secretary Maddox,
11:48and I think you'll find I'm quite the renaissance man.
11:51Oh, well, please, by all means, Leonardo.
11:54Yes, chop-chop.
11:55I want to thank you for agreeing to come and go fishing with me.
11:58Yeah, and I can't wait to get out on the water.
12:00What kind of boat do you have?
12:02I don't have a boat.
12:04This is the most lovely setting, isn't it?
12:07It's a beautiful day.
12:10Okay, come on.
12:11I got it.
12:12There.
12:13Oh, I'm sorry, George.
12:14Pardon me.
12:15Okay, that's fine.
12:17Get away from me.
12:21You fish before?
12:23Okay.
12:24Yeah.
12:25Yeah?
12:29Oh.
12:32Oh, that's a nice cast.
12:33Right on to the center of the water.
12:35Well, that's where I like to be.
12:37Right in the center of the action.
12:39You and me both.
12:42Hey, what about Chung?
12:43You think he's going to run, George?
12:45I hope not.
12:46Yeah.
12:47We can't have a war tourist in the White House.
12:50He talks the talk, but all he did in Iraq was wait for the bomb and to stop,
12:54then post Facebook photos of himself sitting on a gold-plated bidet.
13:00That's a good stance, sir.
13:02Good solid base.
13:04I'd hate to be a fish in your river.
13:06Shut up.
13:07George, if I were, you know, in the Oval Office,
13:11you know, I could really use somebody like you in state.
13:16If I was state?
13:17Hypothetically.
13:18Oh!
13:19Oh, look at that!
13:20Oh, yeah.
13:21Wow, that is heavy.
13:22Relimit.
13:23Look at that!
13:24Look how big that thing is!
13:26Okay.
13:27Oh!
13:28Whoa!
13:29Oh, lady!
13:30Oh, no!
13:31Where'd he go?
13:32Oh!
13:33Where did you leave him?
13:34He got away.
13:35You're a fucking idiot!
13:36This is so nice of you, Amy.
13:38Oh, there was a seating plan.
13:41I'm sorry.
13:42But it is absolutely fine.
13:44I'm going to top up some wine that you have.
13:48Actually, I don't.
13:49No, no.
13:50Oh!
13:51It's okay.
13:52It's okay.
13:53No.
13:54No, don't rub it, Mike.
13:55You're making it worse.
13:56Yeah.
13:57I was going to get a new rug, so that's okay.
13:58I could take a dump on it if you need a clincher.
14:00Ooh, thank you, Ben.
14:02This is great wine, Amy.
14:04A lot better than I anticipated.
14:06She has got a real nose for wine.
14:09Remember that soiree at the French Embassy
14:11where you were identifying a year by the smell?
14:14I also do that with my men.
14:16One thing about you that doesn't surprise me
14:18is your capacity to surprise me.
14:20So good to see everybody.
14:22I'm going to check on the food.
14:26What's the delay?
14:27I have mammals in there who need to eat food.
14:29Is this ready?
14:30What is it?
14:31Potatoes.
14:32I can see that.
14:33Potatoes all of what?
14:34Just potatoes.
14:35You can't really eat them by themselves.
14:36I've eaten hummus with a pen cap.
14:38Don't tell me how I can eat.
14:40So...
14:41Oh, my God.
14:42We can make a start with this.
14:45SS starch.
14:47So, Amy, what are you going to ask us
14:49to support you as campaign manager?
14:51I guess I don't have to now.
14:54But anyone who talks about work tonight
14:56has to take a drink.
14:57Work.
14:58Ben jumped on that.
14:59We're off.
15:01Where's your bathroom?
15:03It's a second on the left.
15:06Thank you so much.
15:09Whew.
15:13You look gorgeous.
15:15Do you think that I'm ruthless?
15:17No.
15:18Enough.
15:19Oh, enough?
15:20Yeah.
15:21Well, I think you have just the right amount
15:23of grit in your oyster.
15:25Huh?
15:26Hmm?
15:27No, I mean, can I be just a complete fucking bitch?
15:31Okay, please don't talk about yourself that way.
15:33You know how sometimes you have a friend,
15:36but they weren't up to their job.
15:38My shoulder's fine, ma'am.
15:40Oh, no, no, no.
15:41I'm not talking about you.
15:42Oh, okay.
15:44It doesn't look like your shoulder's fine.
15:46It's almost perfect.
15:48Because if that became some sort of
15:50permanent disability...
15:52Mike's masturbating at work.
15:54What?
15:55I caught him doing it.
15:57Him and Wendy are doing IVF,
15:59and I caught him coming out of the bathroom stall
16:01with a bag.
16:04Oh, my God.
16:06Give me my phone.
16:07Why?
16:08Because I've got to be in touch with Ben.
16:10I can't have Mike getting what's-her-ass
16:13all knocked up and pregnant,
16:15becoming some sort of a dad during my campaign.
16:17What is keeping Mike?
16:19I'm here, I'm here.
16:20Sorry, sorry.
16:21Okay.
16:22Enjoy the party, Mike.
16:23This food looks amazing.
16:25It should be.
16:26It's cost enough.
16:28Hey, Mike.
16:29You know, this salad,
16:31it doesn't have any dressing.
16:33Did you bring any extra dressing?
16:36What are you talking about, Ben?
16:37You know, I hear the next course
16:39is going to be pulled pork.
16:41Pork that has been pulled.
16:45So everybody knows that I was in there
16:47masturbating into a cup now.
16:49You know, I was the only one who knew, Mike.
16:51Well, we all know now.
16:53I really hope that that's IVF or something, Mike,
16:57because otherwise...
16:58It is, it is.
16:59Wendy and I are trying to conceive a child.
17:03Good luck with that.
17:04That can be a tough road.
17:06I know.
17:07I have a sister who was, well,
17:10she didn't have the,
17:12it kind of all went wrong within the tubing.
17:15Stop talking.
17:16Copy that.
17:17Talk about something else.
17:18Before we eat,
17:20may I just say how much I value all of you.
17:25Thank you for your skills and for your friendship.
17:28Your hair.
17:29Yes.
17:30Skills.
17:31And friendship.
17:49Um, what if we don't have anything to talk about but work?
17:53Work.
17:55No, we have plenty of other stuff to say.
17:58Yeah, Amy, did I hear you talking about Maddox hiring Jonah
18:03or was that a horrible nightmare I had?
18:05Why would Maddox hire somebody like that?
18:07Well, because of his uncle.
18:09Why? Who's his uncle?
18:11Jeff Kane.
18:12Jeff Kane, the New Hampshire guy?
18:14Yeah.
18:15The Jeff Kane,
18:16who controls the senior citizen vote in New Hampshire.
18:18How do you think he got the job in the White House?
18:20She's at Maddox's right now.
18:22I have to call her.
18:23Maddox can't forgive you nothing.
18:25Maddox is acting.
18:26I know that. I know that.
18:28And that's why I'm going to call.
18:29You know what's going to help everybody?
18:31If you just go.
18:33I don't mean to be rude, but dinner has got to be over.
18:36Please, I'll do support Amy as Selena's campaign manager.
18:40Please do.
18:41Yeah, Amy.
18:42You want to get a burger?
18:43Yeah.
18:44Don't forget your bag, Michael.
18:45Thanks, Ken.
18:46It kind of seems more appropriate now that it's just the two of us.
18:49No, you have to go too.
18:51Amy, it's our anniversary.
18:53Please do not tell me you are one of those fucking weirdos
18:56that celebrates three-month-iversaries.
18:59It's actually a year.
19:00A year in which you neglected to tell me about Jeff Kane.
19:04Go.
19:05I guess I'll go tell the violinist that he has the night off.
19:07Okay.
19:08I'll just have him play me a bunch of Smiths covers in my car.
19:11Ma'am.
19:12Gotta go.
19:13Hey, what's up?
19:14Jeff Kane.
19:16Uh, the New Hampshire guy. Yeah, what about him?
19:18He's Jonah's uncle.
19:20Shit.
19:21What?
19:23Jeff Kane is Jonah's uncle?
19:25What?
19:26No.
19:28Tell Dan he needs to find Jonah now and poach him.
19:31Okay, we're all over this.
19:33That's obvious how he got the job with Maddox.
19:36Yeah, no one would be so stupid to hire him on a plane.
19:39So we're all set?
19:41Yeah.
19:42Yeah, oh, sir, where is Jonah?
19:45Who?
19:46The tall fella.
19:48The bag of bones guy.
19:50And he's in your entourage.
19:52Haven't we got more important things to talk about?
19:54We do, George. We certainly do.
19:56Right this way.
19:57Thank you so much. Thank you.
20:02Hey, buddy.
20:03How's it going?
20:05Why the fuck do you care?
20:07Why shouldn't I care?
20:08Because you hate me?
20:09All right, look, there's a fine line, Jonah, between hate and non-hate.
20:15You attacked me with a burrito.
20:17And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would.
20:19Oh, what, so you could do it again?
20:21No.
20:22The juice could have gotten in my eyes, Dan.
20:25The spicy burrito juice.
20:27I think you and I have a lot in common, actually.
20:30We do?
20:31Yeah. We say it like it is.
20:33So if I did want to run, why would I just step aside for you?
20:37See, that's what I'm talking about. Why wouldn't you?
20:40No. Why would I?
20:42Well, I believe that I've earned this, George.
20:46I also believe that the position of vice president can be a very rewarding one.
20:52Even though it has no power?
20:54It has some constitutional power.
20:56And, by the way, I think that I can pull some pretty big levers.
21:00You exercise this power very discreetly, I must say.
21:06Maddox, come on, man. That guy's got ulterior motives. You know it.
21:10What do you mean, ulterior motives?
21:12I just think he's keeping you around.
21:14Because?
21:15Because of your uncle, Jeff Kane.
21:17Fuck you, Dan.
21:18Dude, I just offered you a job.
21:20People like me, people hire me, people date me, and people fuck me because I'm triple-A fucking awesome and no other reason.
21:27Sure.
21:28So why don't you scooch your little butt on out of my fucking pantry?
21:31You know what? The only reason you have a fucking job, Jonah, is because your uncle is Donald Chump.
21:37Wake up. Smell the fucking burrito juice.
21:39You know what? Selena's gonna lose, and President Maddox is gonna have you both executed.
21:45That's not even the way it works, you fucking idiot.
21:47Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you're a fucking idiot.
21:50So I think we both agree that the strongest candidate should run.
21:53Absolutely.
21:54And we both agree that the role of vice president can be a very significant one.
21:59You've certainly made a compelling argument.
22:01You consider that?
22:02Absolutely.
22:03You'd be my vice president.
22:04We'd love for you to be my vice president.
22:06Huh? What did you just say?
22:08It makes sense for me. You're already vetted.
22:12Are you kidding me?
22:13Plus, you would be the first vice president to serve under two successive presidents.
22:19I'd rather be shot in the fucking face than serve as vice president again.
22:25Seriously, in the fucking face.
22:31How'd it go?
22:35How'd it go?
22:39All right, guys, listen. Maddox is running, okay?
22:43So I need you to access the strategy file in Dropbox, password mother underscore fucker.
22:49So our next move is to stop Sean from running.
22:51Nope.
22:52Two ex-military candidates are gonna squeeze you out, man.
22:55The subtext of every question will be, yeah, you're pretty, but can you break a man's neck?
22:59Let me explain something to you.
23:00You had me go marching off to the country to try and keep Maddox from running.
23:06And then today he announced he's running, right?
23:08Oh, what's in your lunchbox, Mike? A protein shake? You degenerate?
23:15You know about this. The private thing I wanted kept private.
23:18You know, Mike, it would please me greatly if you would do me the honor of removing your jizzbox from our executive branch of government.
23:29It's actually a cooler.
23:31Oh, well, then by all means, open it up. Let's have a picnic. I'll boil up my eggs.
23:37So listen, I'm gonna get rid of the team, the whole bunch. Desperate Dan, flailing Amy, crippled Gary, jizzy Mike.
23:45Jizzy Mike?
23:46Yeah, he jerks off all the time in the office.
23:49Really? He does that?
23:51Yeah, he really does. You have no idea.
23:54Anyway, I'm gonna get rid of him. I'm gonna shoot Mike and Gary in the head. I'll poison Amy. I'll behead Dan.
24:00Oh, shit. What are you doing here?
24:04Um, look, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I have some inside Maddox polling data.
24:10How did you find me?
24:12I put a lot of pressure on Sue.
24:14So? She's gonna have to go, too.
24:17Wait, what do you mean, too?
24:20Yeah, uh, Dan, listen, um, Bill is going to be our new campaign manager.
24:26I'm flattered, but the answer is no.
24:28I'm sorry, what?
24:30I hate to say I got a better offer, but I got a better offer.
24:33Is it Danny Chung, that desperate dick covered in medals that he got on eBay, by the way?
24:39Not Chung. It's Thornhill.
24:41What? Baseball Joe? That man's a vegetable. Seriously.
24:46So he can catch them all.
24:48He can win. He did it on the field when nobody thought he had a chance.
24:51People love his story. They love his attitude.
24:53I don't love your attitude, so why don't you go and-
24:56With all due respect-
24:57You know what? You stop interrupting me, you stupid fucking interrupty guy.
25:02I'm sorry.
25:03I am unoffering you the job. You will never be my campaign manager. Ever.
25:09Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.
25:11You bet it was. It was a huge pleasure to meet me.
25:14You know we're gonna rip you apart.
25:16Oh, so scary.
25:28Dan, do you want to be my campaign manager?
25:37Yes.
25:38Yeah.
25:39Yes, I do.
25:41Okay.
25:43Yeah!
25:45Ma'am, you- I am not gonna let you down.
25:48You will not regret this.
25:49Okay.
25:50Yeah.
25:51Okay.
25:52Yeah.
25:53Yeah.
25:54Okay.
25:55Yeah.
25:59This is amazing.
26:00Yeah.
26:01I feel all floaty. What's this one called?
26:03Boilermaker.
26:04Boilermaker!
26:05Yeah.
26:06You never had one?
26:07Mm-mm.
26:08I'm a Prosecco man.
26:10I wouldn't spread that around.
26:11Did you know I got a condition?
26:13What, you can't hold your alcohol?
26:14No, it's my shoulder. I'm in a lot of pain.
26:16Join the club, pal.
26:17No, but I carry around Selena's big, heavy bag of her tampon bullshit.
26:22And the doctor-
26:24Serious?
26:25Mike, the doctor told me to get another job.
26:28No, you need to get another doctor.
26:32Yeah.
26:33Can you give me a cortisone shot?
26:34No.
26:35See?
26:36No!
26:37Mr. Bartender!
26:38A cortisone shot!
26:42Tequila.
26:43Tequila!
26:45Oh.
26:46Mike, is the bar the appropriate place for the contents of that bag?
26:51Relax, Amy. It's a spoiled batch.
26:53I missed my window today at the clinic, and Wendy is not happy.
26:57Hey, Mr. Kent!
26:59Hey, kids. Everybody well-oiled?
27:01I called you all to my office because there may be some changes.
27:07She got a campaign manager, didn't she?
27:11Please, tell me that it's not Dan.
27:13It's not Dan.
27:14Good.
27:15Thank you, God.
27:17Fuck you, Dan, you minor league gigolo.
27:19Gigolo!
27:20Just out of curiosity.
27:21Yeah?
27:22What was Erickson's pitch?
27:24He said that you'd be better off as a croupier fucking older women.
27:28That doesn't bother me.
27:30I-
27:31I like older women.
27:33I do. They have life experience.
27:36Yeah, they do.
27:37Not just the sexy stuff.
27:39Well, I've got that, too.
27:42I can tell you that.
27:45Actually, it's been a while since I've been with an older woman.
27:49Oh.
27:55So, here.
27:56Oh, thank you very much.
27:57Sure.
28:00Look, this is going to be a very intimate relationship.
28:05I mean, I really- I've got to get in there.
28:07Yeah.
28:08You have to tell me stuff that even Gary doesn't know.
28:12Oh, wow.
28:13Yeah.
28:14I can't even think. Seriously.
28:16I mean, what about you? Do you have any skeletons?
28:19Yeah.
28:20Okay, here we go.
28:22Yeah.
28:23Yeah.
28:24When I was a kid-
28:25Yeah.
28:26A bunch of older kids dared me to kill this stray dog, and I did.
28:38Really?
28:39Yeah.
28:40You killed a dog?
28:41Yeah.
28:42Yeah.
28:43Shit.
28:45Okay, now, your turn. You go.
28:50Let fly.
28:51Okay, well, right before Andrew and I split up, I don't know if you remember, but his car caught fire.
29:00Yeah.
29:05I did it.
29:06You-
29:07I did it. I torch cars, you know.
29:09Gave me the nuclear codes.
29:13Wow.
29:14Uh, I guess I can sit on that for eight years.
29:21Um, there's probably going to be some shake-ups.
29:24Oh, sorry, Amy.
29:27What the-
29:29Fuck, Dan.
29:31Oh.
29:32I mean, she was talking to Erickson.
29:34I invited you guys to dinner.
29:37Yeah, and then you kicked us out.
29:38Sir, I would like one of these.
29:41And then after that, I want one of these.
29:43And then after that, I would like one of these.
29:45Yeah.
29:47Careful.
29:48Why would she go with Dan when he couldn't even poach Jonah from Maddox?
29:52The one thing that'll push me over the edge right now is if you mention Jonah's name.
29:56He could actually stumble in here. He lives right around the corner.
29:59He won't come in here.
30:00Mike, I got an idea.
30:01We should throw your expired comb at Jonah's door.
30:05You're kidding.
30:06You're kidding.
30:07I'm not kidding. Let's throw his comb at Jonah's door.
30:12Let's throw a comb! Let's throw a comb! Let's throw a comb!
30:16Amy.
30:17No, no.
30:18Amy, that's my DNA.
30:20Let's throw a comb! Let's throw a comb!
30:22I would like to see that, but we'll stay.
30:24Yeah.
30:25All right. I'm out of here.
30:29How did you kill it?
30:31Sorry, what?
30:33Nothing. It's fine.
30:35We're good?
30:36Yeah.
30:37All right.
30:41I had a romantic dinner of champagne and oysters,
30:44and then Wendy finished me off in a cup.
30:47It was beautiful.
30:48Sounds pretty good, except for the oysters.
30:50Yeah, I like them.
30:52Should we do this like a contract killing, all right?
30:55Just without...
30:56How the fuck are you doing?
30:58Hurry up.
30:59Just get it out.
31:02Hey, guys.