Veep Season 3 Episode 2 The Choice
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00:00Gary, are you working on the night of our 8th month-iversary?
00:19Please don't tell me you're doing that face.
00:21I am doing that face.
00:22Come on, I mean, you don't...
00:26Hold on.
00:27Hey, Gary.
00:28Honeymoon's a rule.
00:30The Dirty Dozen's on and we're eating chips from bowls perched on each other's bellies.
00:34That sounds great, Mike.
00:35We put a pen in your jar every time we have sex.
00:38We already got like 15 in there.
00:40Did you call me to talk dirty about your honeymoon?
00:42I can talk dirty.
00:44That's okay.
00:45Wendy got the heads up.
00:46Otis' body man is quitting.
00:48Marty?
00:49What, did he get sick or something?
00:50Mm-mm.
00:51Law school.
00:52You gonna go for it?
00:53I don't wanna be a guy in his forties carrying a bag.
00:56I got ideas.
00:58I could advise Celine on stuff.
00:59I got plenty of things I could tell her.
01:01Hey, gotta go.
01:02Telly Savalas is gonna kill some Nazis.
01:06When did you get your dad's face?
01:11The world only just heard POTUS isn't running again, so obviously we're not here and this
01:15doesn't exist.
01:17Your campaign office.
01:18What are these?
01:19These are the stables or...
01:21Well, yeah, it's gonna get spruced up.
01:23Hello, hello.
01:24This is it.
01:25This is it.
01:26It is.
01:27It is.
01:28How are you?
01:29Hi.
01:30I don't...
01:31I'm afraid I don't know who you are.
01:32I'm Kelly.
01:33Hi, Kelly.
01:34I'm working on your campaign and I'll be taking photographs today.
01:36Amy Brookheimer, you've been in touch with my...
01:38Yeah, men's toilet is busted, so...
01:41Here we are.
01:42Wow, here you are.
01:44See, now, I thought that I left you 750 miles ago.
01:48Ma'am, I'm gonna follow you wherever you go, all right?
01:51I'm gonna be like a Disney animal.
01:54Is there a set aside for the campaign manager?
01:56Not yet.
01:57I just...
01:58Can I have two seconds of your time?
02:00Sure thing.
02:01I don't know why Richard is here.
02:03You said he was really good on the book tour.
02:06No, I...
02:07Well, I was trying to keep you from worrying about me.
02:11Oh.
02:13You're welcome.
02:14I'll ditch him.
02:15Yeah.
02:16Right.
02:17Are you going on the Coast Guard boat?
02:19Ah, well, I learned to swim especially, so...
02:22No, I meant, um...
02:24Oh, my God.
02:25What is your name?
02:26I'm so sorry.
02:27It starts with a K.
02:28No, can you just tell me?
02:29It's Kelly.
02:30Kelly, right.
02:31So, you're coming on the boat.
02:32That's why you have the camera.
02:33And so, then, Richard, you're gonna need to stay here.
02:35Okay, well, you're in good hands.
02:37Kelly and I go way back.
02:38She's like a...
02:39Like another me.
02:40This doesn't work.
02:41Good.
02:42This is a night patrol with the Coast Guard,
02:44so it's great pre-campaign campaigning.
02:46I need a wipe.
02:47Hey, hey, hey.
02:48Hey, ma'am, I've actually got a few ideas.
02:52Oh, you know, ma'am, actually, I was thinking,
02:54um, I might skip the boat.
02:56What?
02:57Yeah, and just, you know, hang back here
02:59to a little pre-prep.
03:00Why would that be, Dan?
03:01Is that a pre-stabbing in my pre-back?
03:03I think I'm gonna need you
03:05just in case we make a drug bust or something
03:07and I need some sort of snappy one-liners.
03:11Uh, the only laundering you're gonna be doing
03:14from now on is gonna be prison blankets.
03:16That's kind of clever.
03:18The only crack you're gonna see
03:20belongs to some guy in a shower.
03:22Don't, don't be cute.
03:24So, uh, here.
03:26It begins here.
03:27That's right.
03:28In this Polish dungeon.
03:30Hey, ma'am, about the campaign,
03:32I-I had an idea.
03:33Here you go.
03:34Instead of doing all this pre-campaigning,
03:37sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic.
03:39You say, I'm Selina Meyer,
03:41and I'm running for president of the United States.
03:43I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quick.
03:45It's way too early.
03:46You don't announce your candidacy
03:47while the incumbent is still warm.
03:49Wow.
03:50That's like trying to bang the widow at the funeral.
03:52There's a little trick to it, yeah.
03:54The trick would be to move it.
03:55The trick would be to move it.
03:56And I will, I sure will.
03:57You would have her start her campaign
03:59with no strategy, no money, no staff,
04:02except for Superman and Wonder Woman over there.
04:04Just, you know, I wanna be president.
04:06Ma'am, I don't know if you just heard what he was saying.
04:08No, I didn't hear what he was saying,
04:09but I agree with Dan, okay?
04:11And I completely appreciate your ideas, Gary.
04:14No matter how dumb they are.
04:15So let's go.
04:16The posts won't guard themselves.
04:18Let me tell you what we need to do.
04:20We need...
04:23They intercepted an individual
04:24on track vessel suspicious cargo.
04:26They're requesting backup.
04:27Oh, is it a drug boat?
04:29We're looking into it, ma'am.
04:30That's a stroke of luck.
04:31I wanna do a short little video thing.
04:33Okay.
04:34The drugs stop here.
04:35Oh!
04:36No, no.
04:37Don't say anything right after
04:38because it ruins it.
04:39Got it.
04:40The drugs stop here.
04:41We need to go, ma'am.
04:42Yes, yes.
04:43Just one second.
04:44They stop here.
04:45Firm.
04:46The drugs stop here.
04:48This definitely does not do video.
04:50I'm sorry.
04:51Well, then, what were you doing?
04:53Perfect.
04:55Use your common sense next time.
04:58You just gonna sit there, SpongeBob?
05:00Just gonna take a seat for a second, okay?
05:02We haven't even shoved off.
05:03Yeah, I know, I know.
05:04All right, I'm not great on bugs, okay?
05:06Are you getting pre-sick?
05:08Get downstairs.
05:09It's below deck.
05:11Come on, Egan.
05:12Goddamn it.
05:13Oh!
05:17Mikey?
05:18Honey?
05:19Look who I found in a basket at our front door.
05:22Jonah, what are you doing here?
05:23What's up, Mike?
05:24You gonna introduce me?
05:26Uh, yeah.
05:27Walt, Randall, this is Sasquatch.
05:29The edible garbage is out back in the alley.
05:31What's up, y'all punk-ass bitches?
05:33I'm Jonah Ryan.
05:34Wow, bitches.
05:35All right, so we're gonna have dinner soon
05:37and then I take the great escape for later.
05:4017?
05:4117.
05:43So wrap it up soon.
05:46Oh, we got him.
05:47So you're probably bumming you can't be out on that boat
05:50in Baltimore Harbor with a veep, huh?
05:52Honeymoon.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Is she going to her campaign headquarters
05:56in Maryland after?
05:57Yeah.
05:58But it's not a campaign office.
06:00It's a real estate acquisition.
06:02Oh, yeah.
06:03No, of course.
06:04Right, right.
06:05Keep it quiet.
06:06A pack-quisition, huh?
06:07Big man up top for the win.
06:10Hey, Mike, serious talk.
06:12The reason I'm here is because I'm opening up
06:14a consulting firm and I want you on board.
06:16Consulting on what?
06:17How to delete your internet search history?
06:19So, Jonah, heard you got canned.
06:22Yeah, but you know what?
06:24It was for the best.
06:25I was telling Mike about it.
06:26It's gonna be called Ryan-tology.
06:28DC insider turns DC outlaw.
06:31You know, energizing democracy,
06:33taking from the powerful and giving to the pitiful.
06:36You know what I'm saying?
06:37Why are you at her house, then?
06:38Maybe he needs a startup.
06:40Remember that random dude who used to hang out
06:42on our street asking Mom for money?
06:44That was Mike.
06:45Very funny.
06:46Good ones, guys.
06:47You know what, honey?
06:48I am gonna replace your lemonade
06:50with a nice cold beer.
06:52Grotty.
06:53You got her well-trained already, Mike.
06:56Your business model sucks.
06:57I'm out.
06:58Hey, Wendy, if you're grabbing beers,
06:59would you mind grabbing...
07:00Okay.
07:01Yeah, that's fine.
07:02Remain still, sir.
07:04Hands where we can see them.
07:06Wow.
07:07We need to go.
07:08We need to go.
07:09Wow.
07:10We need to get a photo of me
07:12with him surrendering.
07:14Is that wrong to do that, or...
07:15No, it's just a shame they couldn't arrest
07:17someone a little more photogenic.
07:19We can just pixelate him.
07:21The face.
07:22It's fine.
07:23I have no idea how to do that.
07:24Hey!
07:25I voted for you!
07:27Thank you very much, sir!
07:29But I'm afraid you have to go to prison!
07:31Ma'am, we need to get back.
07:33POTUS has made a statement.
07:35What?
07:36What now?
07:37Sir, can you explain this?
07:39Gary?
07:40You got to get a shot of this!
07:41Ma'am!
07:42Swords!
07:43He's got swords!
07:44Fuck the swords!
07:45POTUS just announced that he's not pro-life!
07:47What?
07:48Are POTUS the POTUS?
07:50Institute of Medical Ethics,
07:52after dinner speech,
07:5420-week cutoff!
07:56He's pro-choice!
07:57And now all of a sudden he's pro-life?
07:59They're already calling him POTUS.
08:01Which is stupid,
08:02because both sides have pro'd the start.
08:04Gary?
08:05Yeah?
08:07Go get Dan!
08:08He's downstairs.
08:10Below deck, Amy.
08:11You got to say below deck.
08:12He says maybe it's time
08:14we give back a little freedom
08:16to those who cannot choose.
08:18Okay, Amy,
08:19I do not mean to sound paranoid,
08:21but he is trying to kill me!
08:23We got to turn this boat around.
08:25Right, exactly.
08:26We got to figure out what I'm going to say.
08:28Yeah, I just got to...
08:29We are pro-choice,
08:31but we're not controversial, right?
08:33Yeah, we got first trimester,
08:35second trimester,
08:36third trimester!
08:37You're listing trimesters!
08:40Stop it!
08:41Let's go downstairs
08:42and figure out what we're going to say.
08:44It's below deck!
08:45We got to go below deck!
08:47We got to figure this out.
08:48Come on.
08:51Hi, Sue.
08:52Is the Vice President around?
08:53She's not, sir.
08:54She's on a Coast Guard boat,
08:56meeting and greeting fish.
08:58Ah,
08:59the salty sea.
09:04Sue, forgive me,
09:05but have you altered your hair, perhaps?
09:07I got it chemically relaxed.
09:09It was enormously painful.
09:11Well, it seems to be working for you.
09:16Damn it.
09:17The President's gone rogue.
09:19Sue, apologies.
09:20We will continue our pleasant chat
09:22at a later date.
09:23Abortion calls.
09:24Ma'am, I swear to God,
09:26we all thought he was just going to eat some shrimp,
09:28rattle off a few platitudes,
09:30go home, watch Full Metal Jacket
09:32for the millionth time,
09:33and fall asleep.
09:34Kelly, tell Mike to climb off his wife
09:36and get on the speakerphone now.
09:37You know what this is?
09:38Let me explain something to you.
09:40This is
09:41POTUS trying to screw me.
09:43Okay?
09:44This is
09:45the unflushable turd
09:47that is left in the can
09:49for the next person,
09:50e.g., me.
09:52The toilet's still broken, FYI.
09:54Has POTUS gone nuts?
09:56We can't have a crazy President.
09:58In Italy, they do.
09:59We have to get all of the special interest groups in.
10:01Right.
10:02We'll have to bring them all in
10:03and I'll listen the shit out of every one
10:05of those morons.
10:06Right.
10:07This issue is toxic,
10:08so keep the groups apart.
10:10Pro-choice in the morning,
10:11pro-life in the afternoon.
10:12So nobody shoots any doctors.
10:14Ma'am, listen,
10:15you're going to end up pissing somebody off.
10:17It's better to just take a stand now.
10:19Okay, putting through Mike.
10:20Hi, guys.
10:21How was that co-start vote, huh?
10:23Oh, hi.
10:24That's my bad.
10:25Just put it through on this one.
10:26Incompatibility issues.
10:28Just bring it over here, please.
10:30Hang on, Mike.
10:31Hello?
10:33It doesn't reach.
10:34Would you please move?
10:35Yes.
10:36You hold this here.
10:37Were you on an RBM or an RBS2?
10:38Okay.
10:39Wow.
10:40We really can't talk about the vote right now
10:41because, Mike,
10:42we're trying to figure out
10:43how I think about this issue.
10:45Okay, well,
10:46the Post actually wants to know
10:47if you've changed your stance on abortion.
10:49Are you voting?
10:50Yeah.
10:51So you could say,
10:52as a woman,
10:53I believe that...
10:54No, no, no, no.
10:55No, no, no.
10:56I can't identify myself as a woman.
10:58People can't know that.
10:59Men hate that.
11:01And women who hate,
11:02women hate that,
11:03which I believe is most women.
11:04Don't you agree with that?
11:05Yes, and, ma'am,
11:06we should really, uh,
11:07bag this up and take it back to D.C.
11:08Yeah.
11:09Good idea.
11:10Right.
11:11Oh, uh, Jonah knows
11:12we opened a campaign office.
11:13He came by my house,
11:14Wendy's house.
11:15You let that unstable piece
11:18of human scaffolding
11:19into your house?
11:20We didn't shoot him.
11:21Oh, hey, Ben.
11:22I didn't know you were on the phone.
11:23I swear to God,
11:24I felt better on the fucking boat.
11:25Hey, ma'am,
11:26didn't you write something
11:27about abortion
11:28in your book?
11:29Yes.
11:30Oh.
11:31Yeah.
11:32Good point.
11:33Good, Gary.
11:34Good.
11:35Where's the book?
11:36Does anybody have a copy
11:37of the book here?
11:38What is it?
11:39Guys, who has a copy?
11:40Oh, you know what?
11:41Is that one here?
11:42I have a bunch of unsold ones
11:43in my car.
11:44Honey, it's Lena's book
11:45in the bathroom.
11:46Okay, here we go.
11:47Abbey Road, Abolition,
11:48Aboriginal Mass.
11:49Page 135.
11:50Oh, this is it.
11:51Yay.
11:52Freedom is what this nation
11:53is built on,
11:54blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
11:55and freedom means
11:56the freedom to choose
11:57how to use that freedom
11:58to protect the freedom
11:59of others.
12:00I can't be more clear
12:01than that.
12:02You make it very clear.
12:03You're pro-choice.
12:04Okay, I got it.
12:05Freedom is what this nation
12:06is built on.
12:07Yeah, done it, Mike.
12:08It's gonna come down
12:09to the cutoff week.
12:10It always does.
12:11There's two doors, okay?
12:12Pro-choice, pro-life.
12:13Yeah.
12:14There's no point
12:15in rattling the handles
12:16on either one of them.
12:17You just gotta pick a door
12:18and walk through it.
12:19Ma'am, Kat Davison called.
12:20There was an issue
12:21with the patch through.
12:22It doesn't matter.
12:23Uh, Message Urgent
12:24have booked you
12:25to appear on GMA at 7.
12:26I'm sorry,
12:27what did you just say?
12:28Give me this.
12:29Give me this.
12:30God damn it.
12:31He said 7 a.m.?
12:32Good morning,
12:33America, Amy.
12:34The clue's in the title.
12:35Aim?
12:36Can we...
12:37I...
12:38We can't unbook you.
12:39No.
12:40No, that would look
12:41bad.
12:42Jesus fucking can't.
12:44Okay,
12:45I can't listen to that
12:46Joan Crawford bitch
12:47about Betty Davis
12:48any longer.
12:49Well, this is POTUS,
12:50you know?
12:51This is the President
12:52trying to tell me what to do.
12:53He can't do that.
12:54I'm the Vice President
12:55of the United States.
12:56That's right.
12:57That's right.
12:59Here's your choice.
13:00Two doors.
13:01Pro-choice,
13:02pro-life.
13:03That's it.
13:04Is there a third door?
13:05What,
13:06like a woman's door?
13:07A back door?
13:08No.
13:09A trap door.
13:13This is Jonah Ryan
13:14and you are witnessing
13:15the birth
13:16of Ryan-tology.
13:18Old media
13:19like the Washington Toast
13:20better go run and hide
13:21in the bathroom
13:22and join the
13:23Pooh York Times
13:24because we are
13:25cutting in.
13:26I'm gonna be
13:27updating
13:28more than I'm actually
13:29dating
13:30which is a
13:31shitload.
13:33First up,
13:34abortion.
13:35And now that the
13:36President's given his
13:37state-of-the-uterus
13:38address,
13:39where will the others
13:40fall in?
13:41We have Maddox,
13:42he's conservative.
13:43Chung,
13:44he's liberal.
13:45But where does
13:46Selina Meyer stand?
13:48The first call
13:49could rule them all.
13:50Sir,
13:51how do I turn this off?
13:52You just hit the
13:53red button.
13:54Just the red,
13:55there are two,
13:56there's one on the side
13:57But why do I gotta
13:58deal with this
13:59pile of ass
14:00in the middle of the night?
14:01Because we need
14:02to get first dibs
14:03on a statement.
14:04Well, you know
14:05what I think.
14:06I'm a Christian,
14:07I'm not gonna deny that.
14:08Please,
14:09do not go
14:10religious.
14:11Go ambiguous.
14:12By saying what?
14:13Blah, blah, blah, blah.
14:14Abortion.
14:15Blah, blah, blah, blah.
14:16That sounds good to me.
14:17Well, you fill in
14:18the blahs,
14:19I'm going back to bed.
14:21Okay, ma'am.
14:22You have the
14:23AMA ACLG
14:24West Wing
14:25130 AM.
14:26Planned Parenthood
14:27at 230 AM
14:28in the EEOB
14:29to avoid a clash.
14:30Unflabby precision.
14:31Excellent.
14:32Okay,
14:33how about this?
14:34A woman
14:35has
14:36autonomy
14:37over her own body
14:38but the rights
14:39of an unborn
14:42I thought
14:43I had it there.
14:44Maybe I should
14:45just say
14:46get the government
14:47out of my
14:48fucking snatch.
14:49You know?
14:51How many pressure groups
14:52do we have in all, Sue?
14:53Pro-life,
14:5445.
14:55Pro-choice,
14:56about the same.
14:57Is there a pro
14:58I don't give a shit lobby?
14:59Yep, you're looking at them.
15:00They got posters,
15:01buttons.
15:02Not really
15:03because
15:04I don't give a shit.
15:05If men got pregnant
15:06you could get an abortion
15:07in an ATM.
15:08Let's state the obvious.
15:10If I say
15:11that I am
15:12pro-life
15:13then I'm a traitor
15:14to my sex.
15:15If I say
15:16that I'm pro-choice
15:17then I'm a traitor
15:18to the president.
15:19Which makes me an actual
15:20traitor, by the way.
15:21You know that.
15:22Yeah, but it already
15:23happened, okay?
15:25I'm gonna wave this
15:26transvaginal wand
15:27and make it all go away.
15:28Ma'am,
15:29your gender is worth
15:30at least double
15:31on this issue.
15:32The data's right.
15:33You know, as a woman
15:34you can really kick ass.
15:35As a woman
15:36I am not gonna put
15:37in a fucking sentence
15:38as a woman.
15:39I'm not putting
15:40my eggs in that basket.
15:41Alright,
15:42I'll start polling.
15:44Nice dress.
15:46It's a skirt and a top.
15:47Even better.
15:48Okay, so
15:49are we gonna say
15:50screw polling
15:51and just pick a number
15:52or both
15:53or what?
15:54God, it's not that
15:55simple, Dan.
15:56Yes, Gary,
15:57it is.
15:58Have you seen
15:59the graph?
16:00Yeah.
16:01How could we get it
16:02all on the graph, Gary,
16:03if it wasn't that simple?
16:04It isn't that simple,
16:05alright?
16:06This is about
16:07access to
16:08safe abortions
16:09for vulnerable
16:10women.
16:11It is a serious
16:12issue.
16:13Yeah.
16:14Ma'am, I've laid
16:15out a line of fruit
16:16for you.
16:17What is this?
16:18It's the sizes
16:19of the baby
16:20in different stages
16:21during pregnancy.
16:22You know,
16:23I was thinking
16:24about this size
16:25to think that
16:26this shit's useful.
16:27This is not helpful
16:28at all
16:29and you need to
16:30stop calling
16:31these things babies.
16:32Okay.
16:33I was thinking
16:34we need to get
16:35the number of the weeks
16:36and the interest groups
16:37up on the...
16:38Oh, good.
16:39Nice job.
16:40Holy shit.
16:41Maddox is about
16:42to issue a statement
16:43in five.
16:44At one o'clock
16:45in the morning?
16:46What's his statement
16:47gonna be?
16:48I have to go
16:49to the bathroom?
16:50Rachel Hordenthal
16:51from Planned Parenthood
16:52is gonna shake
16:53the womb!
16:54Selena's calling
16:55in the contraceptistas.
16:56We're gonna
16:57blog this shit
16:58to fuck marketists
16:59couldn't grab
17:00that fetus
17:01from the end
17:02of 2001,
17:03alright?
17:04Send it to me.
17:05Uh, Maddox
17:06has just made
17:07a statement.
17:08What is it?
17:09Science may give
17:10us the map
17:11but we are lost
17:12without morality's
17:13compass.
17:14The right to
17:15free speech
17:16includes the
17:17right to
17:18free thought.
17:19I can't
17:20in all conscience
17:21Well, he fuckin'
17:22fudged it.
17:23So now we know
17:24he's running for president
17:25that stupid bastard.
17:26Ma'am,
17:27Maddox said
17:28nothing
17:29but at least
17:30he said something
17:31and we've literally
17:32said nothing.
17:33Now meanwhile
17:34that shit-shoveled
17:35face fuckin'
17:36Jonah's out there
17:37telling people
17:38you're filling out
17:39options.
17:40I mean,
17:41we need to
17:42pick a number.
17:43No, I know
17:44but I just
17:45I need to
17:46get clarity
17:47here.
17:48I'm not feeling
17:49anything.
17:51Give me that
17:52fucking number.
17:53Give that fucking
17:54number to the
17:55fucking press
17:56and go to
17:57fucking bed.
17:58I mean,
17:59how much more
18:00clarity do you need?
18:01Do you want to
18:02print it on a
18:03fucking t-shirt?
18:04Come on.
18:05I'm so sorry.
18:06I did not
18:07mean to
18:08blow up like that.
18:09Well,
18:10um,
18:11I accept
18:12your apology
18:13while retaining
18:14the right
18:15to
18:16free speech
18:17and the
18:18right to
18:19free thought.
18:20I accept
18:21your apology
18:22while retaining
18:23the right
18:24to fire
18:25the fuck
18:26out of you.
18:27Shall I print
18:28that up
18:29on a t-shirt
18:30that I could
18:31give to you?
18:32This whole thing
18:33has just got me
18:34on edge.
18:35I was puking
18:36my brains out
18:37on that boat
18:38for hours
18:39and Jonah's
18:40got me
18:41absolutely homicidal
18:42and I'm
18:43sorry.
18:44You need to
18:45apologize.
18:46He did
18:47apologize.
18:48You need to
18:49apologize.
18:50You're suggesting
18:51that you
18:52would like me
18:53to be a hypocrite
18:54like Maddox?
18:55Yeah.
18:56Okay.
18:57So,
18:58you need to
18:59go home.
19:00Yes,
19:01ma'am.
19:02Moving on
19:03and Dan
19:04may be
19:05quite soon.
19:06Someone
19:07needs to
19:08go get
19:09Cardinal Branzini.
19:10Oh,
19:11my God.
19:12The Catholic's
19:13next.
19:14Madam Vice
19:15President,
19:16Cardinal Branzini.
19:17Madam Vice
19:18is you.
19:19Sorry.
19:20Excuse me.
19:21I'd love to
19:22take you into
19:23the inner sanctum.
19:24How very
19:25Dan Brown.
19:26This way,
19:27Cardinal.
19:29Come on in.
19:30Here's
19:31something else
19:32to sew into
19:33your giant
19:34fucking crazy
19:35quilt.
19:36Jonah
19:37is now
19:38telling people
19:39that Selena's
19:40meeting with
19:41Planned
19:42Parenthood.
19:43Go home.
19:44Take an
19:45Ambien.
19:46Take 50.
19:47We need to get in
19:48Rachel.
19:49What's-her-face
19:50from Planned
19:51Parenthood.
19:52Gary,
19:53could you finesse
19:54that for me?
19:55Yes,
19:56yes.
19:57Oh,
19:58I thought
19:59you're gonna
20:00say Sue.
20:01I don't need
20:02an enhanced
20:03role to know
20:04my worth,
20:05Gary.
20:06Mike,
20:07I need you
20:08to steer
20:09in Cunningham
20:10and he's
20:11pro-life,
20:12so keep
20:13him away
20:14from Rachel
20:15or he'll
20:17I really
20:18did want to
20:19see you
20:20first,
20:21Your Excellency,
20:22because I wanted
20:23to get a little
20:24extra time with
20:25you.
20:26Um,
20:27let me just
20:28do one quick
20:29thing,
20:30excuse me.
20:31Make sure
20:32you cancel
20:33everything,
20:34please,
20:35so I get
20:36plenty of time
20:37with the Cardinal.
20:38Okay?
20:39Yeah.
20:40Okay,
20:41so,
20:42now the
20:43phones have
20:44taken a vow
20:45of silence.
20:46Okay,
20:47we're right
20:48this way.
20:49That is a
20:50gorgeous color
20:51on you,
20:52by the way.
20:54So,
20:55where is the
20:56VP's thinking
20:57on this?
20:58Thinking?
20:59Uh,
21:00there's a lot
21:01of numbers
21:02being thrown
21:03out.
21:04Speaking of
21:05numbers,
21:06there's over
21:0730,000 tiles
21:08in this floor.
21:09That's all
21:10the kind
21:11of numbers
21:12that I'm
21:13talking about.
21:14Okay,
21:15uh,
21:16thank you for
21:17your service.
21:18Yeah,
21:19oh,
21:20of course,
21:21yes.
21:22Well,
21:23I have the
21:24Vice President
21:25right here.
21:26Ma'am,
21:27I have the
21:28ACC DP
21:29on the line.
21:30I'm gonna
21:31put you
21:32on speaker.
21:33Hello?
21:34Hello.
21:35Oh,
21:36the anti,
21:37no,
21:38not anti,
21:39abortion,
21:40no,
21:41the association
21:42of,
21:43it's in my
21:44mind.
21:45I'm gonna
21:46speak with
21:47you first,
21:48um,
21:49because,
21:50um,
21:51I wanted
21:52to make sure
21:53that we got
21:54a little extra
21:55time to
21:56talk
21:57together.
21:58Well,
21:59frankly,
22:00ma'am,
22:01our position
22:02hasn't changed
22:03one inch.
22:04Uh,
22:05well,
22:06you know
22:07what?
22:08It's a
22:09matter of
22:10conviction
22:11for me,
22:12too.
22:13Oh,
22:14my God.
22:15Oh,
22:16my God,
22:17the lighting is so
22:18unflattering.
22:19Can I ask you a
22:20question?
22:21Are you,
22:22are you hiding
22:23from someone,
22:24or?
22:25I mean,
22:26aren't we all
22:27hiding from
22:28somebody?
22:29You know what?
22:30I'm gonna
22:31make a quick
22:32call,
22:33really quick,
22:34just really
22:35quick.
22:36One second,
22:37so sorry.
22:38Get your
22:39shit together,
22:40Carrie.
22:41You can do
22:43this.
22:44Um,
22:45I realize
22:46that,
22:47that life is
22:48precious,
22:49and so
22:50are the
22:51hard-won
22:52freedoms.
22:53Oh,
22:54thank God.
22:55Thank you,
22:56ma'am.
22:58Goodbye.
22:59Bye-bye.
23:00She was
23:01from the
23:02AD
23:03CCP.
23:04Sorry.
23:05And who are
23:06they?
23:07I'm not quite
23:08sure.
23:09It's in my
23:10phone.
23:11See that,
23:12I got Cunningham.
23:13I know
23:14he's pro-choice.
23:15Life!
23:16Got it.
23:19Okay,
23:20we're good.
23:21Is that good?
23:22Okay, that's good.
23:23All right,
23:24okay, I don't need
23:25any help.
23:26You like music?
23:27I suppose,
23:28why?
23:29Oh,
23:30the new
23:31McCartney,
23:32it's worth
23:33checking out.
23:34Right now,
23:35or can it
23:36wait?
23:37It can
23:38wait.
23:39Here and
23:40here.
23:41Separately,
23:42wouldn't you think?
23:43You're right to
23:44choose,
23:45Amy.
23:46The Vice
23:47President will
23:48see you now,
23:49Mr.
23:50Cunningham.
23:51Pleasure meeting
23:52you.
23:53Hey,
23:54I've got some
23:55free lunch passes
23:56if you'd like.
23:57Listen,
23:58I've worked in
23:59D.C.
24:00for ten years
24:01and I have
24:02never been
24:03treated like
24:04this.
24:05Bundled
24:06around like
24:07a refugee.
24:08I'm sorry.
24:09I'm going to
24:10If this footage
24:11looks kind of like
24:12Cloverfield,
24:13it's not because
24:14my hand's shaking.
24:15It's because
24:16a fucking
24:17earthquake just
24:18hit D.C.
24:19You feeling
24:20the heat,
24:21old media?
24:22Because it's
24:23three strikes
24:24and
24:25you're out.
24:26Tell them
24:27I'm coming
24:28in for fifty.
24:29They hung up.
24:30You know what?
24:31Fuck Huffpo.
24:32They should
24:33be called
24:34Puffho
24:35because
24:36Arianna
24:37Huffington
24:38is a straight
24:39bitch.
24:40I'll get you
24:41on at
24:427 a.m.
24:43They're
24:44going to
24:45send a car.
24:46Got it.
24:47Ma'am,
24:48Chung's statement
24:49ten minutes
24:50early.
24:51Pulled a few
24:52strings from
24:53my buddy's
24:54desk.
24:55Please,
24:56tell us about
24:57the strings.
24:58Mike,
24:59don't tell us
25:00what's in it.
25:01Oh,
25:02sarcasm.
25:03That's an
25:04interesting
25:05strategy
25:06for a
25:07potential
25:09priority.
25:10Skip that
25:11part.
25:12Advances in
25:13science have
25:14brought us to
25:15a moral
25:16conundrum.
25:17I believe a
25:18twenty-two-week
25:19cutoff is
25:20appropriate.
25:21Has anyone
25:22ever come up
25:23with that
25:24number before?
25:25Never.
25:26I'm going to
25:27need a
25:28bigger melon.
25:29Dan was
25:30right.
25:31I've got to
25:32pick a
25:33number.
25:34Okay,
25:35well,
25:36obviously we
25:37can just
25:38divide by
25:39seven.
25:40Like 140
25:41days?
25:42Which is
25:43in weeks.
25:44Divide by
25:45seven,
25:46Mike.
25:47Two?
25:48Twenty.
25:49Yeah.
25:50Well,
25:51I can't
25:52stick to
25:5324 weeks
25:54now,
25:55because that's
25:56going to
25:57make me
25:58the most
25:59liberal
26:00and the
26:01most female.
26:02You know,
26:03Chung the
26:04merciless
26:05did this,
26:06right?
26:07Me too,
26:08Meyer.
26:09Shit for brains.
26:10Okay,
26:11no,
26:12I'm sorry,
26:13they won't
26:14say that.
26:15I'm just
26:16really tired.
26:17Should we
26:18all just
26:19quit and
26:20go home and
26:21go to bed
26:22because you're
26:23so tired?
26:24Oh,
26:25no,
26:26we can't,
26:27because I
26:28have to go
26:29do Good
26:30Morning
26:31America
26:32thanks to
26:33you,
26:34Kent.
26:35I know,
26:36I'm looking at
26:37my page
26:38and I am
26:39seeing
26:40most of
26:41America
26:42standing up
26:43proudly
26:44and saying,
26:45I don't
26:46know.
26:47We were
26:48shocked
26:49ourselves.
26:50I wonder
26:51who should
26:52be my
26:53campaign
26:54strategist
26:55in the
26:56next
26:57election.
26:58I don't
26:59know.
27:00I will
27:01redouble
27:02my efforts
27:03to win
27:04your support.
27:05Okay,
27:06Mike,
27:07you draft
27:08me a new
27:09version of
27:10my existing
27:11position,
27:12okay?
27:13Love it.
27:14And I'm
27:15going to
27:16need something
27:17to wear
27:18because I'm
27:19going on
27:20Good
27:21Morning
27:22America!
27:23Pink!
27:24I got
27:25you pink!
27:26Let's
27:27do pink!
27:28I believe
27:29that life
27:30is precious
27:31and so
27:32are the
27:33hard-won
27:35opportunities.
27:36Thank you,
27:37sir.
27:38You get all
27:39the free
27:40water from
27:41the car?
27:42Oh,
27:43yeah.
27:44Nice.
27:45See,
27:46I told you,
27:47man,
27:48two days
27:49up and
27:50we're already
27:51big.
27:52This is
27:53what happens
27:54when talent
27:55needs
27:56opportunity.
27:57Let's
27:58blow this
27:59thing wide
28:00open.
28:01Hey,
28:02Jonah!
28:03Dan,
28:04we're
28:05co-partners.
28:06I don't
28:07give a fuck!
28:08You're looking
28:09kind of hungry
28:10there,
28:11Jonah.
28:12You want
28:13some of
28:14that burrito?
28:15No?
28:16Yeah?
28:17Hey,
28:18you,
28:19ugly Betty,
28:20give me
28:21that burrito.
28:22Don't
28:23just give
28:24it to him,
28:25dude.
28:26You see
28:27this,
28:28Jonah?
28:29Yeah.
28:30This is
28:31what happens
28:32when you
28:33don't
28:34give a fuck.
28:35Yeah,
28:36good luck
28:37with your
28:38interview,
28:39handsome.
28:40Yeah,
28:41this is
28:42right,
28:43walk away,
28:44bitch.
28:45What did
28:46you say?
28:47What?
28:48Nothing,
28:49nothing.
28:50Yeah.
28:51Joining us
28:52in studio
28:53is Jonah
28:54Ryan.
28:55Now,
28:56he was
28:57the former
28:58White House
28:59liaison to
29:00the Vice
29:01President.
29:02And
29:03what he
29:04said
29:05was that
29:06these issues
29:07are like
29:08a prism.
29:09They
29:10have many
29:11sides.
29:12Would
29:13you care
29:14to pick
29:15one?
29:16Of
29:17course.
29:18This is
29:19an issue
29:20that has
29:21plagued
29:22politics
29:23for far
29:24too long
29:25and...
29:26Thanks
29:27for coming
29:28in,
29:29Jonah.
29:30Yeah,
29:31thanks for
29:32coming in.
29:33So,
29:34before we
29:35get into
29:36the deep
29:37statement,
29:38what did
29:39you at
29:40Planned
29:41Parenthood
29:42have to say
29:43about it?
29:44Unlike
29:45your previous
29:46guest,
29:47we have
29:48a very
29:49clear take
29:50on this.
29:51Well,
29:52I said
29:53nothing.
29:54A big,
29:55fat,
29:56morbidly obese
29:57nothing.
29:58At least
29:59you mentioned
30:01Gary.
30:02You are my
30:03angel of baked
30:04goods.
30:05Well,
30:06every angel
30:07needs an
30:08archangel.
30:09Hey,
30:10Gary,
30:11come here.
30:12Oh,
30:13okay.
30:14Yes,
30:15ma'am.
30:16Yeah.
30:17You
30:18are always
30:19going to be
30:20my body
30:21man.
30:22Yeah.
30:23Especially
30:24when I'm
30:25pregnant.
30:26And I
30:27got eight
30:28years of treats
30:29planned for
30:30you.
30:31Yeah,
30:32okay.
30:33I can
30:34put this
30:35in balls,
30:36a little
30:37watermelon balls
30:38in a ball.
30:39Definitely
30:40not.
30:41No?
30:42Okay.
30:43I can't
30:44watch myself
30:45anymore.
30:46I can't
30:47watch myself
30:48anymore.
30:49Oh,
30:50um,
30:51oh,
30:52put
30:53me
30:54down.
30:55Oh,
30:56um,
30:57put
30:58me
30:59down.
31:00Oh,
31:01put Oprah
31:02on.
31:03You don't like
31:04that.
31:05You want to
31:06watch Top Chef?
31:07No.
31:08How about
31:09a Project
31:10Runway?
31:11No.
31:12Survivor?
31:13Yeah.
31:14Good.