Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Yes?
00:04I'm Leonard Hofstetter.
00:05I called you about the apartment.
00:06You said to come by...
00:07I know what I said.
00:08I know what you said.
00:09I know what my mother said on March 5th, 1992.
00:13What is the sixth noble gas?
00:15What?
00:16You said you're a scientist.
00:18What is the sixth noble gas?
00:20Radon?
00:21Are you asking me or telling me?
00:25Telling you.
00:26Telling you.
00:31Alright.
00:32Next question.
00:33Kirk or Picard?
00:35Oh, uh, well, that's tricky.
00:38Um, original series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.
00:43Correct.
00:46You've passed the first barrier to roommate-hood.
00:49You may enter.
00:50Ah, this is pretty nice.
00:55The bedrooms are back there?
01:02That depends.
01:03I don't understand.
01:04Their existence is conditional?
01:06No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and
01:11third barriers.
01:14There's three?
01:15Each more daunting than the last.
01:18Have a seat.
01:19Okay.
01:20No, that's where I sit.
01:21I'm going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap, creating a little exothermic
01:30release of oxygen.
01:31Oh!
01:32Oh!
01:33Oh!
01:34Oh!
01:35Oh!
01:36Oh!
01:37Oh!
01:38Oh!
01:39Oh!
01:40Oh!
01:41Oh!
01:42Oh!
01:43Oh!
01:44Oh!
01:45Oh!
01:46Oh!
01:47Oh!
01:48Oh!
01:49Oh!
01:51Oh!
01:52Oh!
01:53Is the mirror really taken care of?
01:54Observe.
01:55This is a live shot of Kripke lab via a mini webcam I was able to install, thanks to a
02:00dollar bill, discreetly placed in the night janitor's shirt pocket.
02:04At the same time I also secured large quantities of these chemicals above the tiles and the
02:08drop ceiling.
02:10Oh Sheldon, you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.
02:16You flatter me sir.
02:19Let me guess, motion sensors?
02:20Yes, the reaction will be triggered
02:22when Kripke reaches the center of the room.
02:25Mwa ha ha.
02:26I gotta say, I am really impressed.
02:32This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even.
02:41It may be low tech, but I still maintain
02:43the whoopee cushion has comic validity.
02:47Here comes Kripke.
02:49Who is that with him?
02:51I believe that's the president of the university.
02:53And the board of directors.
02:54Abort, abort!
02:55There is no abort.
02:56Well, how could you not put in an abort?
02:58I made a boo-boo, all right?
03:00I think the board will really appreciate
03:02how well we're using that NSA grant, President Sieber.
03:05Right here we have a micro-controlled plasma.
03:14Wow, looks like the Ganges on laundry day.
03:19At least they don't know it was you.
03:23Hello, Kripke.
03:25This classic prank comes to you
03:27from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.
03:32If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,
03:35this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.
03:39Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali
03:44for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.
03:49Well, I'm going back to India.
03:51What's your plan?
03:52Wallowith is trying to outflank us.
03:54Let out some string, add altitude,
03:56and I'll go under and cut his line.
03:58Why wouldn't Penny want her friends to meet me?
04:00Focus, Leonard, focus.
04:02The heat of battle is upon us.
04:03The dogs of war are unleashed.
04:06Maybe Koothrappali's right.
04:07Maybe I embarrass her.
04:09You're embarrassing me right now.
04:11A grown man worrying about such nonsense?
04:13We're in the middle of flying kites.
04:17Sorry.
04:18Sorry won't bring their kites down.
04:20Oh, string worm, string worm.
04:25Oh, they think we're flanking.
04:27They're playing right into our hands.
04:28At the count of three, we execute the flying scissor.
04:31One, two, three.
04:34You see that?
04:35See what?
04:36That chick.
04:37She smiled at me.
04:37No, she didn't.
04:38Yes, she did.
04:39Come on, scissors, scissors.
04:40Hold my line.
04:41What are you doing?
04:42I cut scissors by myself.
04:43I would come back.
04:46Victory!
04:48Son of a bitch.
04:51Wasn't ever going to be a winner.
04:53There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring
04:56and three people who used to be his friend.
04:58Is that really what you guys want?
04:59Because if it is, fine.
05:00I don't want anything to do with you.
05:03And I don't know what happened in that bathroom,
05:04but I am not cleaning it up.
05:16My precious.
05:30I knew it.
05:36I knew it.
05:40I knew it.
05:45Give us the precious.
05:48Give it to me.
05:49Get off of me.
05:50Give me the ring.
05:51It's mine.
05:52Got to go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.
06:01It's 10 o'clock.
06:02Where have you been?
06:03We stayed for the California Adventure Water Show.
06:06It was pure Disney magic.
06:09I was going to see that with him.
06:11How was I supposed to know that?
06:12It's all right.
06:13I'll see it again with you.
06:14And I have food here you said you were going to call.
06:17I know, I know.
06:18I can still eat.
06:19No, you already threw up once.
06:20Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.
06:25Okay, but just don't fight.
06:27We're not fighting.
06:28Just go.
06:32Aren't you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneyland?
06:34Thank you, Penny.
06:37You're watching football?
06:39There's no fooling you.
06:42Now, what is this SACS statistic they put up there?
06:46All I know about SACS is my mother shops there.
06:52SACS.
06:53SACS.
06:55It's football nomenclature for when a quarterback is tackled behind the line of scrimmage.
06:59Huh.
07:03Scrimmage.
07:04Scrimmage.
07:07The line of scrimmage is the imaginary transverse line separating the offense from the defense.
07:13Oh.
07:15Sheldon knows football?
07:18Apparently.
07:19I mean, Quidditch?
07:20Sure, but football?
07:25Sheldon, how do you know this stuff?
07:27I grew up in Texas.
07:28Football is ubiquitous in Texas.
07:30Pro football.
07:31College football.
07:32High school football.
07:33Pee-wee football.
07:34In fact, every form of football except the original.
07:36European football.
07:39Most Texans believe to be a commie plot.
07:43Unbelievable.
07:44If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.
07:53So, you could teach me?
07:56Football or chicken fried meats?
08:00Football.
08:01I'm going to Penny's on Saturday to watch a game with her friends and I don't want to look like an idiot.
08:04I want to blend in.
08:05You want to blend in with Penny's friends?
08:07I think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.
08:11Come on, Sheldon.
08:12Please teach me football.
08:13It'll be fun.
08:14That's exactly what my father said.
08:17Come to the games.
08:18Watch the games.
08:19Week in and week out.
08:20From the time I was five until I went off to college.
08:23Longest seven years of my life.
08:27Please, I'm asking you as a friend.
08:30Are you making this a tier one friendship request?
08:35Yes.
08:37Fine.
08:39I really appreciate this.
08:40Yeah, yeah.
08:41Alright, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.
08:46I'm sorry?
08:47That's how my father always began our football conversations.
08:51And if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.
09:01And set, the clock is ticking.
09:04Thank you so much for opening up your home to me.
09:06Well, who wants to stay in a hotel with windows that don't open, those crazy card-shaped keys?
09:12I'm so glad you understand.
09:14No, he doesn't understand.
09:17I understand.
09:18I understand too.
09:19You're just misappropriating my understanding.
09:24I think any university would want you.
09:26Except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you before they, you know, got you.
09:34From the mind that brought you high-low.
09:40Let me show you to your room.
09:41Alright, I guess I am tired. Good night, Leonard.
09:43Uh, sleep night.
09:45I mean, obviously, good night. I started to say sleep tight, then I changed my mind in the middle.
09:50I swear to God, I'm smart.
09:53Get it together, man.
09:55Explain the couch.
09:56Uh, well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for $100. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
10:02But what's wrong with the furniture we have?
10:05They're lawn chairs.
10:08And there was no place for company.
10:10Did it occur to you that was by design?
10:13According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas.
10:18But you didn't notify me by e-mail, so this is still a breach.
10:22I did notify you.
10:24Oh, you did, did you?
10:41Drat.
10:43Drat.
10:46Hoisted by my own spam filter.
10:49What am I doing in your spam folder?
10:51I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, This is Funny.