Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
  • 2 days ago
Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about listeners most embarrassing rescues and one guy had to be saved by a family member when his unit was stuck in his zipper.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Jim, good morning.
00:12Hi, Jim.
00:13Hey, CrossFit.
00:15CrossFit.
00:16Tell us about your most embarrassing rescue.
00:19Back when I was a child, I got my unit caught in my zipper,
00:24and I had to have my sister-in-law help me get it out.
00:27Oh, man.
00:29How old were you?
00:31Eight.
00:33Yes, young enough, but still highly embarrassing.
00:37Like, as a grown man, imagine getting your dong stuck in your zipper
00:39and having to have someone like Chuck, you do it, and Lisa's here,
00:42and she has to help you.
00:44Oh, no, no, no.
00:45Yes.
00:46Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:48Lisa becomes the lady dialer.
00:50He'll pretend that it's stuck in there.
00:51Oh, no.
00:54Every single day, he'll pretend.
00:58Ow!
01:00Those are button flies.
01:04Chuck's daily.
01:07Oh!
01:08Dong stick.
01:09Lisa!
01:12But honestly, could you imagine getting your dick stuck?
01:16As a grown man.
01:17As a grown man.
01:19As a grown man.
01:19And then having to approach a co-worker.
01:22A nearby person.
01:24Oof.
01:26I don't care who it is.
01:27Any one of you.
01:28Like, Lisa, of course, that would be another dynamic, I guess.
01:32But if I was like, Dave, Dave, Dave, my dick is stuck.
01:37You don't want to hear that.
01:38I definitely, those are words I never want to hear.
01:40And you don't want to have to try and help me.
01:42Wouldn't it be more of a scream?
01:43Yeah, you'd be a high-pitched.
01:48I'd hear that.
01:49Oh, Chuck got his dick stuck again.
01:53She would just go running out the door.
01:55We've never seen her.
01:56Lisa, here's a high-pitched scream.
01:58She's like, oh, geez, dick stuck.
01:59Gotta go.
02:00She's not going to be the one.
02:01I'd just shut my office door and hide in there.
02:05Lock myself in.
02:05You could hear it, like, over trees and through woods.
02:10That's the sound of a man with his dick caught in his liquor.
02:15Some wild man would say that.
02:16Yeah.
02:17I know that scream.
02:18I know the scream.
02:20Scream of a man.
02:23Zipper.
02:23Zipper's stuck and his dick is in there.
02:27Zipper was designed by the devil himself.
02:34I don't know what that was.
02:35It sounded like somebody was raping a bird.
02:39Oh, I guess.
02:40Maybe what it sounds like.
02:41I don't know.
02:42I mean, I have no idea.
02:45I'm going to have emergency tools for that.
02:47I don't have emergency dong.
02:48Lisa!
02:49Lisa, get your dong rescue tools!
02:52Lisa's got a whole new kit.
02:53Lisa has it.
02:54She's got a whole new kit.
02:55Hold on, let me get my dong rescue.
02:56The penis box.
02:56Yeah.
02:57Yeah.
03:00Quick, pass them Lisa's penis box.
03:03These are my zipper destroyers, they hear them.
03:05She just hand you it.
03:07You do it yourself.
03:08You do it.
03:08That's your dick.
03:09You do it.
03:11She would have the tools, though.
03:12Lisa, don't look, but I need your penis destroyer or your zipper destroyer.
03:17Penis destroyer.
03:18Don't do that.
03:19Don't do that.
03:19No, no, no.
03:20Not that one.
03:20S-Dog asks you, Chuck, would you rather have something stuck in your butt or something snagged
03:26in your zipper?
03:27Oh, my butt.
03:28My butt can handle almost anything you can throw at it.
03:30You would know.
03:31You could not.
03:32I'm telling you.
03:33It can handle a lot more than the...
03:35It is tough, Lisa.
03:38It's built tough.
03:39It's built tough.
03:41Chuck's butt.
03:41Rock.
03:42But what's more embarrassing...
03:44We'll stand in Arrow's dream.
03:46What's more embarrassing, though, is Chuck the Freak.
03:48Charging through the gate.
03:51That's your butt.
03:51What, your butt sings?
03:55I'm correct.
03:58I'm correct.
04:02Yeah.
04:04You think after you decompose, like, your butthole will just still be there in the last four years?
04:09Absolutely.
04:09Like, oh, my God, it's still there.
04:11Like, this is the 400-year-old butthole of Chuck.
04:14I'm correct.
04:16My hands were steady.
04:23My eyes were clear and bright.
04:26I like my balls of the backup singers.
04:28I walk head purple.
04:30My steps were quick and light.
04:33That high elbow was so tight.
04:35Oh.
04:36What I felt was right.
04:38Like a rock.
04:39Yeah, my butthole song.
04:40Yep.
04:42Chuck's butthole's like a rock.
04:44Like a rock.
04:46Hey.
04:47I was strong as I could be.
04:53Nothing ever got to me.
04:55Nothing ever got to me.
04:58I was something to see.
05:03That's great lyrics.
05:07None of the schemes could get to my butthole.
05:21Chuck's butthole theme song, Like a Rock.
05:23So, yeah, I'm just, you know, like a rock, you know.
05:26Eyes were clear and bright.
05:30My walk had purpose.
05:32My steps were quick and light.
05:34They sure were.
05:36And I held firm.
05:38What I felt was right.
05:40Like a rock.
05:43I was strong as I could be.
05:46Like a rock.
05:47Nothing ever got to me.
05:53He's so tough.
05:55I was something to see.
05:57I was something to see.
05:58I was...
05:59I was like, oh, my God.
06:00I was like, oh, my God.
06:00I was like, oh, my God.
06:00I was like, oh, my God.
06:00I was like, oh, my God.
06:01I was like, oh, my God.
06:01I was like, oh, my God.
06:02I was like, oh, my God.
06:02I was like, oh, my God.
06:03I was like, oh, my God.
06:04I was like, oh, my God.
06:04I was like, oh, my God.
06:04I was like, oh, my God.
06:05I was like, oh, my God.
06:06I was like, oh, my God.

Recommended