Dave & Chuck The Freak discuss the latest disturbance on a flight and the guys and listeners talk about things that can make flying miserable.
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00:00every day there seems to be a new story about something going wrong in the skies
00:13oh sure yeah the latest one happened on a flight from tokyo to los angeles uh these guys just got
00:20on the the flight i guess and they got into a fist fight before the plane even took off
00:26sick of airplane stories now where you know what it is it's just honestly we you can't expect
00:33everyone on the plane to be sane as much as you fly dave i'm surprised you've not had any drama
00:39but i'm shocked i avoid it honestly my my headphones so you don't even know the second i sit down but
00:44no dramas happened on your flights like with other people or anything a woman have a seizure
00:49the one that amber slept through okay oh yeah the biggest one i think yeah see i've had an old man
00:55poop himself oh god i've sat next to a guy with an open wound that he had to clean out god um
01:05i i sat next to a woman in hysterics about flying you know what now that you mentioned it so it was
01:12not the last fight but the flight before amber was with the two boys and i was by myself there
01:16was some woman beside me but she was we that was the flight where the winds were so strong coming
01:20into detroit we could we couldn't land we had to abort the landing attempt twice and um i was like
01:26what does she do she kept like brushing up against me she was doing like her hail marys oh yeah so i
01:32took one of my headphones out because i'm still watching my movies i don't care we're we're gonna
01:35land eventually we land or we die yeah whatever i'm have my headphones in i don't even know what's
01:40going on and then i took one out for a second she's like praise jesus praise jesus praise jesus
01:43like she's just going non-stop praying oh yeah i just put my headphone back in and continued
01:48watching passengers yeah i wouldn't do that i'd be like mid mid crash i'd be like boop can somebody
01:55shut this bitch out
01:56mid crash
02:00she's hitting me with her elbow
02:03that's how you get ringworm is this airline going to be responsible for my ringworm treatment
02:10well i don't want to have ringworm when we crash i'm in the back of the plane i'm gonna live
02:21yeah and i'm gonna live with ringworm because of hail mary over here
02:26voice changing technology anonymous has a comment good morning man how are you i punch you right in
02:35face i was actually the person who committed the atrocity and i wanted to uh uh uh come clean
02:40today okay you're outing yourself what'd you do so we were flying back from vacation and about half
02:46an hour away from uh landing my stomach really started percolating i was so bloated i just felt
02:53miserable so in a panic i thought maybe if i just squeaked out a little fart oh no i'd feel better
02:59no no no yeah no and especially because i think i held it in for so long it smelled like this from
03:06the depths of hell yeah that's the other article i was reading reading all sorts of stuff about flying
03:11but that um it is you do have more gas like the air pressure does cause oh you can tell the pressure
03:18yeah you can feel that's why people need to fart on that's why my guts start to sound like a like a
03:24failing submarine uh-huh certain points i'm like get away that's why i always say to lisa i'm like
03:33listen i i don't think bad of me if when i fall asleep the most disgusting fart ever comes out of
03:42this butt you'll know it's me that's really your biggest concern on a flight with us is that you're
03:49gonna fart in front of us in my sleep yeah you know because i think you sleep fart i don't think
03:53there's anything you can do about it i think we had a study that said you you actually have to be
03:57awake in order to fart right but i you know but you just have to sort of wake up you know what you
04:02may be right i can't believe i'm gonna admit this but um lisa gave me a tip on an air purifier
04:07because i've been having allergies right so it's like it does have an auto mode that just kind of
04:11keeps on low unless there's like some smell or something and then it kicks into high gear so i
04:16thought i woke up the other night i'm like i just fart did your air purifier kick on yeah then it went
04:22red like it went into high gear i'm like oh i must have farted that's the heart zone right there
04:28that's like fart detected
04:30lisa's got a magical air purifier now dave has it yeah yeah it works great i had to get it for the
04:39molly farts yeah that's so funny because that to me i i forgot for a second your dog's name was
04:46molly and i'm like lisa does molly yeah i'm like and there's a symptom of molly use that's molly farts
04:53she's got the molly farts i was like no i'm glad that we clarified that because maybe other people
05:02thought that too no molly is my dog i just for a split second forgot that and i was like molly to
05:08me is always a drug than a dog yeah exactly yeah oh man molly's got me gassy
05:17oh feel it oh oops sorry guys i can't in good conscious reenact lisa on drugs party
05:26you gotta do one or the other you gotta do someone else maybe it's someone else
05:30someone give me some water oh boy it's not me
05:36it really gases me up somebody else i'm molly
05:39hey how you doing what's up i'm lisa
05:41someone gave me a pill
05:46now i'm farting
05:48molly farts
05:50oh god
05:52oh yes
05:56do you hear that bass drop it's right from my butthole
06:00i felt it
06:02god this is loosening up some stuff this molly i'm on
06:10this is the confusion that swept across andy's face for like a heartbeat
06:13yeah yeah
06:15she goes there for molly farts i was like
06:18molly farts
06:21molly farts that's a thing
06:23whoa i need to be aware of that for when i allegedly do molly
06:29bombshell one lisa does molly bombshell two it makes her fart
06:32oh wow lisa does molly yeah uh b from toledo hey b how's she going eh how's she going eh b
06:42uh so i was uh flying into detroit
06:46out of houston and there were already a bunch of characters on that plane
06:49and we started taxiing to the runway
06:52and this woman starts having a
06:54a real panic attack like she's
06:56grabbing her friend
06:57crying the whole nine yards and at first i thought it was funny
07:00i was having a good time
07:01but then like as we start getting closer to flying
07:03getting uh you know taken off
07:05i'm starting to get nervous like well maybe maybe she's right
07:07you know maybe we should be kind of freaking out a little
07:09it was kind of rough for about the first
07:1130 minutes of that whole flight
07:13again seems to me like
07:14noise cancelling headphones were the best investment i ever made
07:17they really are
07:18they're good but they don't stop everything though
07:20oh they don't honestly
07:21they stop a lot
07:22so much stuff has gone on around me that other people have told me
07:26i have no i get so engrossed in what i'm watching
07:28yeah i can't hear any of the drama
07:30it is funny to think about like there's like some hardcore terrorist stuff going on
07:34on a plane around dave and he's like this now you see me too is a really good movie
07:37didn't see that coming
07:39holy hell
07:41magic
07:42harrelson i love his work
07:44he is good
07:46riveting
07:47morgan freeman was a great choice for this role
07:52yeah i told you i'm oblivious to like when we landed
07:55and i was so caught up in the movie that i didn't realize we were even going in for a landing
07:59yeah
08:00and we hit with a thud and i went
08:01jesus christ
08:02yeah
08:03because i thought then something had happened like the plane was under attack or something
08:06that's good for me when i sit next to you on a plane because i fumble around so much
08:09i'm always like oh god i feel so bad
08:11no i never know idea never notice anything i just am always all cramped up in a seat that doesn't fit me
08:16and i got like a belt extender on
08:19and i'm like you know i'm just like
08:21that's your plane face
08:24yeah that was his plane face and body
08:26plane face and body
08:28like two hours like
08:29i'm sorry
08:31i'm like oh i feel organ failure
08:32i feel some organ failure
08:35here something's pressed into my liver or something i don't know what that is
08:39you've pinched your liver in half
08:41it's not working
08:42it's so bad
08:43oh man
08:45oh man
08:45yeah
08:47You