TPZ S4 Episode 5- Ghost Marriage
In the East, during ancient times, a woman was deemed to be subservient to a man. She had to serve him, and manage and sustain the family in his absence. Therefore, women who did not marry were seen as of a lower rank. Unlike the men, their family could not ‘invite’ them back to be prayed for after their death and they were labelled as wandering spirits because they did not fulfil their social roles.
In Taiwan, it is a common belief that the deceased need merits for their next birth. The prayers that they receive from the human realm provide the merits for their next birth. Unmarried women are believed to manifest sickness in some people so temples were specially built for deceased unmarried women. Another unusual practice is to have a ‘legal’ union between a deceased unmarried woman and a living man through a ‘ghost marriage’. These are ways in which the Taiwanese folk believe that these women will have better statuses and thus better treatment.
In Taiwan, it is a common belief that the deceased need merits for their next birth. The prayers that they receive from the human realm provide the merits for their next birth. Unmarried women are believed to manifest sickness in some people so temples were specially built for deceased unmarried women. Another unusual practice is to have a ‘legal’ union between a deceased unmarried woman and a living man through a ‘ghost marriage’. These are ways in which the Taiwanese folk believe that these women will have better statuses and thus better treatment.
Transcript
00:00 I'm now at the Kunyang Temple, which means a temple for women who died without being
00:12 married.
00:13 And at the back here are their tablets.
00:17 I'm curious as to why a temple needs to be built specifically for women who have died
00:24 without being married.
00:26 What is that?
00:27 Is that a form of discrimination?
00:29 Is it a sense of chauvinism?
00:32 That women, even after death, have a second-class grade?
00:38 I'm very curious.
00:40 What is the rationale behind this culture?
00:43 I'm curious.
00:50 I'm curious.
01:15 I got married in 1995.
01:27 I married two wives at the same time.
01:29 Besides a human wife, I also married the spirit of her elder sister, who had passed away during
01:35 an abortion procedure.
01:38 After the marriage, I could see my ghost wife at night.
01:41 She was my spiritual wife.
01:43 I could see her in my dream.
01:45 I described my ghost wife's face to my mother-in-law, and she confirmed that it was her elder daughter.
01:53 When we have family dinners, we always keep an empty seat at the table for her, with a
01:58 set of chopsticks and a bowl.
02:01 This is to respect her presence.
02:04 This form of spiritual marriage is very common in our society.
02:07 There's nothing special or unusual about it.
02:13 It is believed in Taiwanese culture that unmarried women who pass away will become
02:18 wandering spirits.
02:20 To solve this issue, their souls have to be sent to a temple or marry a living man, so
02:25 that they can go to a better place, rather than being wandering spirits.
02:30 In human marriages, there are legal procedures and sometimes customary rights to comply with.
02:35 Similarly, in ghost marriages, there are also customary rights to declare that the couple
02:40 is now husband and wife.
02:44 I am meeting with a master who has presided over many intimate unions between humans and
02:49 ghosts.
02:53 It is our traditional Chinese custom and belief that the family cannot pray to a "gu niang",
02:58 the unmarried lady who has passed away.
03:00 If they do, it will bring bad luck to the whole family.
03:05 Due to that, they end up as wandering spirits as their spirits cannot reside at the home
03:10 of their family.
03:12 Some of them will search for a living man as husband in order to get out of that situation.
03:19 How do they find a husband?
03:21 When someone with bad luck visits places with a lot of yin energy, such as hotel, riverside
03:27 or have night visit to abandoned places, these wandering spirits might fall in love with
03:33 them.
03:34 And the spirit will be able to disturb them by appearing in their dreams or even touch
03:38 them physically.
03:42 These spirits have to let the living man believe that he is having bad luck because they have
03:47 offended something.
03:49 Sometimes the man will get sick when the spirits get near to them.
03:54 When the man can't take it anymore, they will marry the spirit.
03:58 Why would a man agree to such a marriage other than changing his luck?
04:03 Wouldn't it be a social stigma to be married to a ghost?
04:08 Normally, the man will agree to marry the ghost because their sickness will heal after
04:12 that.
04:13 So we Chinese believe that if you do so, you give the spirit a place of solace to receive
04:19 prayers and in turn, she will help you to gain success in your career.
04:24 It is very good for the family relationship too.
04:27 I have never seen a case where the ghost marriage brings bad luck to the family.
04:33 Is it a legal union?
04:35 Is there anything called divorce?
04:38 Do they talk about children?
04:40 I mean, I'm just curious.
04:42 Is adultery allowed since it's only a female spirit?
04:47 Ghost marriage is not legally binding but once married, there is no divorce because
04:51 the spirit has already entered into the tablet in your house.
04:56 However, the living man can have a living wife and have children like normal.
05:02 One Chinese believe we consider the person as senior if she passed away first.
05:08 So the living wife has to greet the ghost wife as her husband, first wife and even the
05:12 children need to greet her as elder mom.
05:19 If the ghost didn't allow the man to marry a living woman, there will be no next generation.
05:25 If there is no next generation, it means no one will pray to her and there is no point
05:30 for the ghost marriage.
05:33 So is it a case where the man needs the marriage to improve his luck or is it a case where
05:39 the single lady ghost needs the marriage to receive prayers for generations?
05:43 I wonder what an academic scholar would say about this interesting practice in Taiwanese
05:48 society.
05:49 The custom of ghost marriage was brought here from China by the immigrants.
05:55 Back then, there were many people killed during the early Taiwan development and this encourages
06:00 a ghost marriage custom and make it very common.
06:04 We can trace ghost marriage back to the end of Ming Dynasty.
06:07 There are two types of ghost marriage.
06:11 The first type is out of self-will which is to change one's luck.
06:17 The other type is the case of the death of a daughter coming of age to marry.
06:22 The family will write the deceased daughter's name and birth details, put it in a red envelope,
06:29 place it on the ground and wait for the passerby to pick it up.
06:34 If there's a man who picks it up, all the family members will come out and surround
06:39 him, call him son-in-law, brother-in-law and the man has to marry the ghost wife.
06:46 Normally the man will accept because he believes this is fit.
06:51 The ghost wife will protect him and give him good luck.
06:55 Some will accept because they will receive dowries from the lady's family.
06:59 There are many other factors for this.
07:03 She said she was from another world and she just wanted to talk with me.
07:06 I know Mr Wu because of work.
07:30 We stayed together.
07:31 One day he woke up and asked me to write down two names.
07:35 Zhen Shumei and Song Guoye.
07:38 He said he dreamt of this girl named Zhen Shumei for a week continuously and she said
07:43 you can look for Song Guoye to identify her.
07:46 Song Guoye was a famous prosecutor back then who solved many big cases.
07:51 We went and met Prosecutor Song and mentioned the name Zhen Shumei.
07:56 Song said he knew her.
07:57 From there I know Zhen was a lady who passed away years ago in an accident where she slipped
08:02 and fell from a building.
08:05 Zhen wanted Song to solemnise the spiritual marriage between Mr Wu and her.
08:11 Mr Wu told me that he will need my help in his spiritual marriage soon.
08:16 One night I dreamed of myself, my husband together with Mr Wu.
08:20 We went to the house to propose marriage.
08:23 There's a father, mother and a brother in the house.
08:27 The next morning I woke up from the dream and found that my husband also has the same
08:31 dream.
08:32 After our discussion about the same dream, we think that was a reminder for the spiritual
08:38 marriage.
08:39 The lady in the dream has been waiting for many years.
08:44 Through my research I found a man in Taipei who dreamt of the same lady for nine years
08:48 and never ever met her before.
08:51 Every night in his dream he would be in a relationship with this lady to the extent
08:55 of even having physical intimacies with her.
08:59 After a nine year relationship with that lady in his dreams, they finally got married.
09:05 I met my wife in my dream.
09:08 She appeared in my dream every night for a few years and we chatted.
09:13 After we knew each other better, I asked if she was from the same world as me.
09:19 She said she was from another world and she just wanted to talk with me.
09:23 Did she give you any message, any special message to find out more about her?
09:29 I asked her what was her purpose of seeing me and if there was anything that I could
09:33 do to help her.
09:35 She said nothing in the beginning.
09:38 When we got closer, she said I had to marry her.
09:42 I resisted initially because I didn't think it was right.
09:46 She then brought me to a place where there was a book with both our names written on
09:49 it, together with my birth details.
09:53 She also appeared in my boss Mr Zhang and his wife's dreams.
09:57 I started to believe in what she had said and considered marrying her.
10:02 So when you married your wife, you must have done the ritual.
10:06 Did you have to go and look for your wife's parents or family in order to propose marriage
10:13 in the traditional way?
10:17 I asked my wife for her parents' address as I told her that I would like to marry her.
10:22 She told me that her parents were staying in Taidong, the east of Taiwan.
10:27 She said that if I was serious about it, I should find the address out on my own.
10:32 With the help of a journalist, I managed to find her parents' address and met them.
10:38 After five visits, they finally agreed to the marriage.
10:41 Ghost marriages is something that is acceptable and also symbolic in the Taiwanese culture.
10:49 Is it symbolic in your case or is it your reality?
10:56 I feel that the marriage is real.
10:57 There are times when she took me to a very beautiful place.
11:01 It's too beautiful to describe.
11:04 We had a good time there and we even had sex.
11:07 The feeling was even better than in real life.
11:10 During the intimate moment, I could feel the warmth of her body, like being with a real
11:15 person.
11:16 After getting married to her, I could see her any time, day or night.
11:25 She soon taught me a lot of things, such as the countless invisible beings, gods and ghosts.
11:33 And since I'm her husband, she needs to protect me.
11:36 So she gave me a code.
11:38 When she comes, I will have to say the code and her spirit will give the correct answer.
11:44 If the spirit that appears gives me the wrong code, then I know it's not my wife.
11:49 I will use another code given by my wife to ask her to protect me.
11:53 Have you ever thought of marrying a human wife?
12:00 I thought of marrying a human wife or getting a real companion.
12:05 I asked my spiritual wife and she agreed at that time.
12:08 My friend introduced me to a girl and not long after that, I broke my right leg.
12:14 And I broke the same area on the leg twice in a year, just three centimetres apart.
12:20 When I asked my wife about it, she told me that broken legs can be healed, but broken
12:25 hearts cannot be mended.
12:27 I understood her message and have since stopped seeing the other woman.
12:32 When I did research on ghost marriages, Mr Wu's story caught my attention.
12:37 There seems to be a distinct difference between the cultural practice and Mr Wu's personal
12:41 story.
12:42 I think he feels that his union with the lady ghost is a reality.
12:47 While respecting personal choices, I am curious if cases like Mr Wu are real experiences,
12:52 physically happening, or a case of psychological disorder.
12:56 It's quite common in Taiwan to have ghost marriage cases like Mr Wu, especially in their
13:03 early times.
13:04 As a psychiatrist, I would personally refer to it as the Taiwanese traditional cultural
13:10 belief, so there's nothing weird.
13:13 He had a dream.
13:15 The lady came to him in a dream.
13:18 And the dream continues for nine years.
13:21 Is that possible?
13:22 I would like to first explain about dreaming.
13:26 Normally, people sleep eight hours a day and sometimes we dream about two hours every night.
13:32 And we dream three to five dreams, so even 20 dreams is possible.
13:36 We don't remember all the dreams, but only the frightening or exciting parts of the dreams.
13:42 We tend to connect these fragments together, and so it's like you're dreaming the same
13:46 dream or continuous dream for the past nine years.
13:50 However, we cannot prove it scientifically.
13:53 We respect Mr Wu's personal experience, but this kind of case is rare if it's real.
13:58 What I find very intriguing about the story of Mr Wu is it appears like he has adapted
14:04 it into his reality.
14:06 He has a real marriage with the ghost.
14:10 Wouldn't that be some kind of a psychological or mental disillusionment?
14:21 To diagnose a sickness, we need to examine a few different dimensions.
14:26 In Mr Wu's case, we cannot conclude that now he has mental illness.
14:30 For me, I would refer to it as the cultural-bound syndrome, wherein certain kind of culture
14:35 or religion, people will connect with people who has passed away, or even God within the
14:40 same culture or religion.
14:42 They will have voices in their head.
14:45 We can also refer to it as the fantasy that Mr Wu has.
14:49 When people cannot get satisfied in reality, they hide their emotions, desire and make
14:54 it happen in their dreams.
14:56 I do understand what Dr Ho has said, but I'm always curious.
15:01 So I would like to put it to a test and see what happens.
15:26 I could see my ghost wife at night.
15:28 She was my spiritual wife.
15:30 When we got closer, she said I had to marry her.
15:41 Is ghost marriage a way of seeking psychological, emotional comfort, or a fantasy?
15:47 Dr Ho is conducting some tests on Mr Wu to assess his psychological state.
15:52 I am most curious to know the findings.
15:58 We met and did some tests.
16:03 The results show that he has no psychosis or any psychosyndrome, except that he can
16:07 hear his ghost wife.
16:11 In the Rojak inkblot test, we showed 10 pictures to see Mr Wu's reactions.
16:16 We found that he has low self-esteem.
16:19 He has difficulties to socialise and make deep connections with people.
16:23 He has the desire to seek friends or intimacy.
16:27 But when he gets rejected, he will feel depressed.
16:30 He also has the tendency to over-simplify complicated events.
16:34 Try to ignore the social rules in order to stay in his comfort zone.
16:39 Mr Wu has a lot of frustrations and he is unhappy in his real life.
16:44 He needs a lot of support and care.
16:47 He mentioned to us that he has given up to have a real marriage.
16:51 He is satisfied with his current ghost wife.
16:56 Therefore it can be concluded that he might have built a fantasy world that he feels secure
17:01 and comfortable.
17:05 According to Dr Ho, Mr Wu may have a condition called Culture-Bound Syndrome, which is a
17:10 combination of psychiatric and somatic symptoms that are considered to be a recognisable disease
17:15 only within a specific society or culture.
17:18 We decided to do another experiment, which is a familiarity in Taiwanese culture.
17:23 It is a game called "Dipsin", the Chinese Ouija board.
17:28 Besides Mr Wu, I have with me a member of the Paranormal Zone team, who is a first-timer
17:34 playing this game and who is a neutral party.
17:38 Also with me is Sophia, a medium who can tell me what I cannot see.
17:43 I want to know if Mrs Wu will join us.
17:46 After listening to Dr Ho's explanation, we learn that Mr Wu has no mental illness.
17:51 But I am still curious, is his marital status one that is paranormal?
17:56 Mr Wu?
17:59 Hi.
18:00 Do not push the saucer, just rest your finger lightly.
18:07 My name is Lee Kim, from the Paranormal Zone.
18:10 I ask for your presence, the spiritual wife of Mr Wu Wenda, Zheng Shumei.
18:19 If you are here, please point the saucer with the arrow on this side.
18:26 If you are present in this room, please show yourself.
18:33 Can you invite your wife to come?
18:37 She came and went away.
18:39 I saw a spirit, his face was just like a lion.
18:44 He is now standing on a table.
18:46 And that is the reason, maybe his wife came here.
18:53 The lion face is fierce or the lion face is protective?
18:58 He looks like a yellow rope, so I think he is a protector.
19:06 From Sophia's description, my protector Doh Je Shuk Den, who rides on a snow lion,
19:11 is present to protect.
19:13 However, this might stop Mrs Wu from showing up.
19:17 I explained to my protector respectfully to kindly allow Mrs Wu to come.
19:22 Do you stop here?
19:30 What is this behind?
19:33 I saw three.
19:35 I think Mrs Wu is afraid because there are two more powerful spirits behind her.
19:43 According to Sophia, Mrs Wu came with two spirits.
19:47 And they were jealous as to why only Mrs Wu got the attention.
19:51 Before things got complicated, I called to a stop.
19:55 Then we started the process again.
19:57 Return.
19:59 Return to where you came from.
20:03 We want to communicate only with Mrs Wu.
20:06 But obviously, other beings came along as well.
20:09 After Mr Wu spoke out to invite his wife,
20:26 he started knocking the back of his head.
20:28 He looked possessed.
20:30 His voice changed and he kept pointing to his head and neck,
20:33 asking us to hit at the pointed areas.
20:37 Hit at the pointed areas?
20:40 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:42 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:45 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:53 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:55 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:57 Hit at the pointed areas.
20:59 Hit at the pointed areas.
21:01 Hit at the pointed areas.
21:03 Return to your position.
21:07 Return to your position.
21:11 Mr Wu's movement started being aggressive.
21:14 To avoid him hurting himself,
21:16 we quickly asked the sorcerer to return to the starting point.
21:19 What I saw was that there was something like a stick.
21:27 And then suddenly it turned into an eagle.
21:30 And the eagle tried to fly this side.
21:33 I didn't open my eyes, but I heard it was very noisy.
21:38 At the beginning, a lion came up again and was on the table.
21:43 And his face was facing him.
21:45 And then everything stopped.
21:47 I know that just now there was more than one spirit.
21:51 But they were not harmful.
21:56 When things started getting out of control,
21:59 Sophia saw the protective lion come back onto the table.
22:02 I called for a stop to the session.
22:05 Mr Wu claimed some things came, but they were not harmful.
22:09 We tried to use this method with the Chinese Ouija Board
22:14 to communicate with Mrs Wu,
22:16 but we didn't manage to talk to her.
22:18 During this investigation in Taiwan,
22:21 I found that we are no one to judge
22:23 what is right and what is wrong in others' beliefs.
22:26 But what I found in Goh's marriage
22:28 is that there are many social values in it.
22:31 Good or bad, that is subjective.
22:34 It could be a union to make peace with the ghost,
22:37 or it could be a ceremony to comfort the deceased family and the man.
22:41 Do ghosts need marriages?
22:44 I think the answer lies in you.
22:46 Do you need a marriage to be happily ever after?
22:49 Do you?
22:51 (THE GHOST)
22:54 (THE GHOST)
22:56 (THE GHOST)
23:00 (THE GHOST)
23:03 (THE GHOST)
23:07 (THE GHOST)
23:10 (THE GHOST)
23:13 (THE GHOST)
23:16 (THE GHOST)
23:19 (THE GHOST)
23:22 [Music]
23:24 [BLANK_AUDIO]