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Comedian and Fake the Nation host Negin Farsad is a native New Yorker. So we figured, why not send her on a quick trip to America’s Heartland? Listen as Negin befriends strangers, eats ribs, and talks her way onto a comedy club stage where she tries to find out what makes the city laugh—and what makes it a little uncomfortable. Oh, and did we mention she was nearly seven months pregnant?
Read the story here: https://rebrand.ly/e9hjfso
———
Afar.com is a digital and print magazine that publishes travel tips, guides, news, and stories: https://www.afar.com
Get updates on the latest articles, travel news, and more from AFAR by signing up for the AFAR newsletter: https://afar.com/newsletters
Follow AFAR on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AfarMedia
Follow AFAR on Twitter: https://twitter.com/afarmedia
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Comedian and Fake the Nation host Negin Farsad is a native New Yorker. So we figured, why not send her on a quick trip to America’s Heartland? Listen as Negin befriends strangers, eats ribs, and talks her way onto a comedy club stage where she tries to find out what makes the city laugh—and what makes it a little uncomfortable. Oh, and did we mention she was nearly seven months pregnant?
Read the story here: https://rebrand.ly/e9hjfso
———
Afar.com is a digital and print magazine that publishes travel tips, guides, news, and stories: https://www.afar.com
Get updates on the latest articles, travel news, and more from AFAR by signing up for the AFAR newsletter: https://afar.com/newsletters
Follow AFAR on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AfarMedia
Follow AFAR on Twitter: https://twitter.com/afarmedia
Follow AFAR on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/afarmedia
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TravelTranscript
00:00 Hey everyone, and welcome to Travel Tales, a podcast from Afar Media. I'm your host,
00:14 Senior Editor Aislinn Green. And for the past six years, I've had the pleasure of working
00:18 with some of the most creative and interesting people in the world. Comedians, philosophers,
00:23 novelists, they've all shared their stories with Afar's readers about getting out into
00:28 the world and just reveling in it. And now, each week on Travel Tales, we'll hear from
00:33 some of our favorite contributors about a trip that changed their life. And because
00:38 the world is really anything but normal right now, thanks to COVID-19, I'm recording all
00:43 of this from my houseboat in California. In this episode, we meet Nagin Farsad. Nagin
00:49 is a comedian, host of the podcast, Fake the Nation, and author of How to Make White People
00:54 Laugh. She's also a diehard New Yorker. And so we figured, why not send her to Kansas
01:00 City, Missouri? It was part of Afar's Spin the Globe series in which we send a writer
01:05 someplace with only 24 hours notice, and they just have to figure it out. So let's listen
01:11 in and find out what happens as Nagin human-Googles her way through America's city of fountains.
01:24 Soon it will be time for another adventure. But for now, enjoy these stories from travelers
01:29 who have connected to our world on a deeper level, and let them fuel your dreams of a
01:33 future adventure. And with the Marriott Bonvoy Boundless card, you'll be well on your way
01:38 to powerful new experiences. Learn more at MarriottBoundlessCard.com.
01:48 So I'm in Kansas City, which is both in Missouri and in Kansas. Of course, I assumed that being
01:52 in two states would give Kansas City a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde vibe, but more on that
01:57 later because at this point, I'm actually at the Improv, a comedy club on the east side
02:02 of town, and I'm about to go on stage and do standup. The lights are low and the audience
02:08 is taking their two-drink minimum so seriously it's turning into a four-drink minimum. It's
02:13 the last night of my trip to Kansas City, and I'm either going to end it on a bang or
02:18 a self-hating whimper, depending on whether the audience hates me or thinks I'm hilarious.
02:23 In comedy, there really is no in-between. Even though I'm in Kansas City as a traveler,
02:29 I made sure I could do a spot at a comedy club at least once. You probably don't know
02:34 this about comedians, but as a comic, I look at every city I travel to with dirty, hungry
02:40 comedy eyes. I'm always asking, "Can I get up and do a set in this city?" I'm like a
02:45 drug addict. If I could just do ten minutes in this random town, I'll feel better. I'll
02:50 know what this place is about. I'll get closer to having laughter fill the unfillable void
02:55 left by my parents who never complimented me as a child. By the way, if you withhold
03:01 love from your children, you turn them into comedians, and then their career choices are
03:05 your fault.
03:06 I'm waiting in the wings, incessantly checking my nose for any hangers, because that's what
03:12 I do before I go on stage. People probably think I have an itchy cocaine nose, which
03:16 is funny because I'm more of a beet juice user. Plus, I'm feeling a little weird because
03:21 the driver of the Lyft ride I took to the club spent 15 minutes trying to convince me
03:26 that all the women who accused Bill Cosby of rape, all 60 of them, were lying. That
03:32 they had conspired to all lie together, across state lines and across decades. That put me
03:39 in a mood.
03:41 So here I am, about to go on stage, and while my nose is clear, I'm a little worried about
03:45 how this is going to turn out, because comedy is an overwhelmingly male sport. It's also
03:51 overwhelmingly white. And I'm an Iranian-American Muslim, like all of you, and the last time
03:56 this club, which operates every night of the week, had seen a woman was five weeks ago.
04:03 But I figure I'm just going to open with some universal stuff about being pregnant, because
04:06 oh yeah, this whole time I'm in Kansas City, I'm six months pregnant. Pregnant and traveling
04:12 alone. So I'm an Iranian-American Muslim, who's pregnant and alone, and I'm standing out even
04:17 more because I'm walking everywhere, or rather, waddling everywhere. That's the best way to
04:22 really see a place, but like most places in the country, walking in Kansas City makes
04:27 people look at you like you're some kind of lunatic wearing a soft helmet. But if I hadn't
04:32 walked, I would have missed the adorable Yum Bakery and its signature sweet potato donut.
04:37 I mean, I try not to do carbs, but when you're pregnant in Kansas City, you should do carbs.
04:43 I would have missed this beautiful walkway along Brush Creek that's so close to the water
04:48 you can reach over and touch it. And maybe it's contaminated, but that's what makes it
04:53 an exciting urban landscape. But I really felt at ease in the Power and Lights District,
04:59 which is like their nighttime at the club neighborhood, because occasionally a waft
05:04 of human urine would greet my nostrils, and as a New Yorker, that made me feel at home.
05:10 And it turns out, being pregnant is a great entree to talk to strangers. I went to the
05:15 Green Lady Lounge to watch some jazz and have a mocktail, even though if I were in Europe,
05:20 I would have had a full cocktail because apparently alcohol doesn't affect European pregnant women,
05:25 only American pregnant women. Anywho, while I was there, I struck up conversations left
05:31 and right because no one suspects a pregnant woman of being evil or having an agenda. They
05:37 assume you're a nice person. I wanted to tell them, "Hey, be careful talking to me because
05:42 I could be evil and pregnant at the same time. Don't be fooled by the belly. My soul could
05:48 still be filled with dark sludge." But I didn't say any of that because I'm not that evil.
05:55 Of course, an evil person would say that, so I'm probably fully evil.
06:00 So when I was at the Green Lady Lounge, I found out that Kansas City is actually one
06:04 of the birthplaces of jazz. I had no idea. I always assumed it was New York. But Charlie
06:10 Parker, that dude was from Kansas City, and I don't actually know about jazz, and I know
06:15 that he's a big deal. I also learned that whole neighborhood had transformed. Like the
06:20 downtown area used to be a couple of wig shops, strip clubs, and an inexplicable fur coat
06:25 store. But now there is all this stuff, live music, and cafes, and a street car.
06:33 [Music]
06:38 [Music]
06:42 Athar Travel Tales, presented by the Marriott Bonvoy Boundless card from Chase, is a powerful
06:47 way to connect through stories of travel. Stories move us. They take us across the world
06:53 and into the unknown. Stories inspire us to ask questions and dream of possibilities.
07:00 The experiences we share give us a glimpse of where we could go, what we could learn,
07:05 how we could grow. We hope the stories here will lift you up and give you inspiration
07:10 for adventures to come. Until then, the Marriott Bonvoy Boundless card can help you on your
07:15 way to future destinations. Learn more at marriottboundlesscard.com.
07:20 [Music]
07:24 [Music]
07:27 I digress. I'm on stage at the improv. The opening comic is closing on a bit about big-chested
07:37 women and their huge bras. I mean, isn't that hilarious, guys? How women who have big
07:45 boobs have to wear huge bras? The audience is loving the huge bra material, so at this
07:54 point, I'm fairly certain that they're going to hate me.
07:58 I'm on stage, and I open with a bit about ultrasounds. Because for me, sometimes I would
08:03 look at an ultrasound and I would be like, "Okay, that looks like a baby." Other times
08:07 I was like, "That looks like night vision footage from a drone attack in Afghanistan.
08:12 Is the Taliban inside of me?" Because we really did lose track of this war.
08:19 They laughed. That material was safe. My set kind of paralleled my experience in the city.
08:26 When you're a traveler, you always start with the safe stuff. In KC, you start with the
08:30 plaza district. "Oh my, it's so beautiful and well-landscaped," or "They call this the
08:36 city of fountains, and boy, do you guys have a lot of fountains," or "The barbecue here
08:42 is delicious, but it got all over my face." That's the easy stuff.
08:49 But in comedy, once you're done with the pleasantries, you move into the more difficult material.
08:55 Here, that meant my complicated background. Because when you hear Iranian-American, you
09:00 immediately think, "She could be enriching uranium," which I was in the green room.
09:07 Then I start talking about my husband, because I had also recently gotten married. We don't
09:12 need to worry about the order in which the pregnancy and the marriage happened. I'm not
09:16 wearing my wedding ring. I almost never wear my wedding ring because it gets in the way
09:19 of me banging other dudes. But my husband is black, making my baby black and Iranian,
09:25 or a Bluronian. She will be stopped at all of the borders.
09:31 When things with my then-boyfriend got serious, I had to tell my parents. They're immigrants
09:35 who are a touch, like a fun amount, racist. When I told them I was getting serious with
09:41 a black man, my mom was like, "We obviously do not hate black people, but why are you
09:45 dating black people that we obviously do not hate?"
09:50 So there it was. Me talking about race to a Kansas City audience. It was clearly a touch
09:55 territory. The traveler equivalent is when I went to a Nick Cave exhibit on the east
10:00 side of town. That's the side of town that everyone said not to go to. Cave had taken
10:06 over an abandoned church in a historically black neighborhood. The church had no pews,
10:11 no altars, no religious tchotchkes, just a large open space with flying buttresses and
10:17 that haunting feeling that this place was once bumpin', that it used to be the anchor
10:22 of this neighborhood until it wasn't. But at some point, people wore their Sunday best,
10:28 listened to the words of a preacher, and checked each other out. They gossiped, they convetched,
10:33 they praised, they observed, they held in farts. And now the world-famous Nick Cave,
10:38 another Kansas City native, would fill it with art because the people had literally
10:43 abandoned it.
10:46 When I was there, I saw streams of Kansans and Missourians coming through the church
10:50 in the wrong side of town, making themselves uncomfortable in a neighborhood that they
10:56 tell pregnant lady tourists not to go to. And that felt pretty hopeful. And it really
11:02 is because it's all about this cross-pollination. Because once my parents met my black boyfriend,
11:09 they loved him. They had their own texting relationship, they exchanged recipes, he's
11:13 like the son they never had except for they do have a son. My mom went from being like,
11:19 "I like black people," to "Black Lives Matter."
11:23 She's an officially woke immigrant lady. And the audience laughed. But some laughed
11:29 uncomfortably. It's like they didn't realize they were going to be on the other side of
11:33 town with my comedy, but here they were.
11:36 This is how Kansas City proved itself to be a real city. Because like most real cities
11:41 in America, it still hasn't figured out its segregation problem. Like all of America,
11:47 it hasn't figured out its inequality problem. But it really wants to.
11:52 So I get the light. And I have to close with something. And I figured I already brought
11:56 the wrong side of town with my stand-up. Let's lean in by pointing out that my husband is
12:01 black and I'm Muslim and our relationship is exactly what you think it is. He waterboards
12:07 me every night to get the coordinates of my sleeper cell. I like to stop and frisk him
12:11 for no reason. He comes home and he's like, "Woman, where's my watermelon?" And I'm like,
12:16 "We don't have watermelon, only saffron." And that's literally what our relationship
12:23 is like, according to Mike Pence.
12:26 I weathered the difficult material and left the club. I had weathered my excursion to
12:31 the east side of Kansas City, too. As I strolled through the half-abandoned neighborhood towards
12:36 the fancier side of town, I walked by a huge community party. A bunch of families had taken
12:42 over a park. They had pumped up the jams and were dancing with pure joy. I didn't join
12:49 in because everyone should be spared a pregnant woman dancing. But to watch them, it seemed
12:55 like for one brief moment there was no east or west side of town. It was all united by
13:01 the most sincere of summertime booty shaking to create one Kansas City.
13:07 That was Nageen Farsad. Nageen is back home in Kansas City.
13:14 She says she's "waiting for life to return to normal?" With a big fat question mark.
13:21 She hasn't done stand-up in more than three months. Instead, she's distracting her dirty,
13:50 hungry comedy eyes with really embarrassing workout dance classes. "It doesn't fill the
13:55 void, but it does something," she told us.
14:00 Ready for more travel stories? Visit us online at afar.com/traveltales. And be sure to follow
14:07 us on Instagram and Twitter. We're @afarmedia.
14:11 If you enjoyed today's adventure, we hope you'll come back next week for more great
14:15 stories. Subscribing makes this easy. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or
14:21 your favorite podcast platform. And please be sure to rate and review us. It helps other
14:25 travelers find the show.
14:28 This has been Travel Tales, a production of Afar Media and Boom Integrated. Our podcast
14:33 was produced by Aislinn Green, Adrienne Glover, and Robin Lai. Post-production was by John
14:38 Marshall Media staff Jen Grossman and Clint Rhodes. Music composition by Alan Queresha.
14:45 And a special thanks to Laura Redman, Sarah Storm, and Irene Wang.
14:49 I'm Aislinn Green, your zoomed-out, under-traveled host. I can't wait to hit the road again.
14:55 Until we all freely can, remember that travel begins the moment we walk out our front door.
15:01 Everyone has a travel tale. What's yours?
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