Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 25th March 2024
Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 25th March 2024
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00:00 <i>Hoshiyaariyaa, Hoshiyaariyaa</i>
00:03 Hello viewers, I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaa.
00:06 Friends, it is being said that the situation in the country is not good.
00:11 There are a lot of problems.
00:13 The youth are not able to see any options.
00:15 I remembered that there is a very famous magazine
00:19 which is published all over the world and is actually a French magazine.
00:23 It is a magazine called LA.
00:25 It had a chief editor.
00:27 Jean Bobby, he was called Dominic Bobby.
00:31 One day, Bobby was in his office and fainted.
00:35 He was in a coma for 20 days.
00:36 But when he regained consciousness,
00:38 the doctors told him that his entire body can't function.
00:43 You can't even move.
00:45 You can only breathe, hear and see.
00:49 But you can't blink.
00:53 Jean Bobby used to say that he wanted to write a book.
00:58 He wanted to write a best-seller book.
01:01 After a couple of days, his left eye started to move.
01:07 He saw that he can blink.
01:09 His eyelid moved.
01:11 When the eyelid moved, he said that if you can hear us,
01:15 we will speak in alphabets.
01:17 You will move your eyelid to say yes or no.
01:21 The alphabet you blink in,
01:24 we will understand that you want to write this.
01:27 The first sentence he wrote was,
01:30 "My ears are tired of hearing that my body is completely frozen.
01:36 It can't move.
01:37 But I know that I can blink my left eye.
01:42 So I will blink and you write a novel.
01:45 I want to write a novel."
01:46 History is a witness that he wrote a novel.
01:49 It became a best-seller.
01:52 Within two days, he sold 25,000 copies.
01:55 I am surprised that if you compare yourself to him,
02:00 what options did he have?
02:02 The only thing he had was to blink his left eye.
02:07 That made him a world-renowned author.
02:10 Now think about the options you have.
02:12 Let's start today's show with this message.
02:15 Let's take you to the streets.
02:18 Let's see what the people are doing.
02:19 There is no business.
02:21 Oh, what happened?
02:23 They are sitting idle.
02:25 I have painted them new. They don't look dirty.
02:28 Why is the work not going on?
02:30 In the last few days,
02:32 I got a job.
02:34 - Okay. - I wanted to build a bathroom.
02:36 Okay.
02:37 I built a beautiful bathroom.
02:39 Wow! It looks like a very nice bathroom.
02:41 Exactly.
02:42 - What? - I can see talent in your hands.
02:45 As a matter of fact, the more time a person spends,
02:47 the more he becomes associated with it.
02:49 Yes, you are right. You are getting older.
02:52 - Let's talk about the day. - I was saying that
02:55 I made a beautiful bathroom.
02:57 Oh!
02:58 The man of the house told me
03:00 to make my bedroom with his letter.
03:03 But I kept the paper, the sheet and all the fittings outside.
03:08 - What? - Why?
03:09 I told him that the paper would get spoilt.
03:11 - Yes. - Change the paper.
03:13 Start again. Or else, you will have to spend a lot of money
03:16 on new tiles, puttos and new floors.
03:18 - What? - Yes.
03:18 You have sold the bathroom.
03:21 - The poor man woke up at night to go to the bathroom. - Yes.
03:25 - His stick was broken. - Okay.
03:26 - It was stuck in his shoulder. - Oh!
03:28 - The stick was stuck in his teeth. - Oh!
03:32 The only one who was left was the insect.
03:34 He was saved from the insect.
03:37 The insect had stuck his teeth with strength.
03:40 Oh, city people! You are here to eat pooris.
03:43 Eat chickpeas. You will realise..
03:45 What is the connection between poori and chickpeas?
03:47 - Who is he? - What is all this?
03:49 He is a raider.
03:50 I don't know where he got the permission to build a den.
03:53 - Look.. - Tell me.
03:54 What is the big deal about this country?
03:55 The country has become a mess.
03:57 What is your name?
03:58 My name is Junaid. People call me Jida.
04:00 I don't know why, Mr. Junaid.
04:02 It is okay. It is wrong that you don't put up a cart on the road.
04:05 - The passage.. - Yes.
04:06 Don't disturb it. Don't spoil it.
04:08 I don't know why, but I don't want to.
04:10 I want that if the government wants to remove the cart drivers..
04:14 ..then give them a place.
04:17 Yes, give them a place.
04:17 - Like this man is sitting here.. - Yes.
04:20 ..he should be given a shop in Akbari Mandi.
04:22 What kind of workers are you?
04:24 You are using beauty cream.
04:26 Your hands are so clean.
04:27 Listen to these hands.
04:28 - How are they clean? - Yes.
04:30 A man has called me to repair his bathroom.
04:33 - Okay. - He is called for such work.
04:36 I have written it here.
04:39 Civil engineer.
04:40 You have made a bathroom and made a village.
04:42 Look, it has become a morgue.
04:44 Eat chickpeas. You will gain consciousness.
04:47 These are my hens. Chickpeas.
04:49 Empty the road. Put up a cart.
04:52 - From where? - The ones that are folded.
04:55 Do you know why we are talking nonsense?
04:57 Okay. You are doing drama.
04:59 - I am doing my work. - Oh.
05:02 Yes. Look at this.
05:03 Look at this.
05:06 He is doing his work.
05:07 He wants to send them abroad.
05:10 Are you doing drama?
05:13 I am not doing drama. I have put up a camera here.
05:15 These legs don't work.
05:16 A man's mind works.
05:18 Leave that.
05:20 You are the sign.
05:21 Because of you, all traffic is going here and there.
05:24 If you see us, everyone becomes a motivational speaker.
05:27 Attention. Attention.
05:30 Again it is coming in the form.
05:32 - Again it is coming in the form. - Give it.
05:34 Give it, friends.
05:36 What is the problem?
05:39 - What happened? - Are you crazy?
05:41 - What happened? - You are doing drama.
05:44 You will lose consciousness.
05:45 - Junaid. - Yes.
05:47 - Please. - What?
05:48 - Leave my mouth. - Your mouth?
05:50 There is a law. You will lose consciousness.
05:52 Okay. Leave my mouth.
05:54 Your mouth is a problem.
05:57 There is a law. I won't leave it.
05:59 You are amazing.
06:01 Junaid, leave my mouth.
06:04 Don't turn around. Get up.
06:06 - Come on. - Sit.
06:08 Get up.
06:10 If you didn't get the uniform, I would have hit you.
06:16 How many times I have told you to stop the traffic.
06:19 You didn't tell anyone to come here.
06:22 - Take him to the hotel. - Why?
06:25 He doesn't want to do my work.
06:26 People think he is drunk.
06:28 You are very smart.
06:31 I don't know how far you will go.
06:35 Come on.
06:38 Ashadara, Baghbanpura, Gajumata.
06:41 Ashadara, Baghbanpura, Gajumata.
06:43 It's very hot.
06:45 Ashadara, Baghbanpura, Gajumata.
06:49 You can't go where you want to.
06:51 Hanjarwal, Jalloh, Shangamanga.
06:54 What is this?
06:56 You are making him crazy.
06:58 You should have stopped him.
07:02 What a smell!
07:04 What is your fate? What are you doing?
07:07 The chickpeas are intoxicating.
07:09 What a way to talk.
07:11 You have made me talk.
07:14 I will never eat these chickpeas.
07:15 Okay, don't eat. Leave from the line.
07:17 Return the token.
07:19 Now it's time after six months.
07:21 - Roohan, I have so much left. - Really?
07:27 - So much. - How?
07:29 Whenever I ask him what is left.
07:31 He says, all the chickpeas are gone.
07:33 - Listen. - Yes.
07:35 - He is a very ungrateful man. - Why?
07:37 - You are here. - Yes.
07:39 All the work he does, no one else has.
07:42 I can see that.
07:44 - Roohan, he is a very ungrateful man. - Why?
07:47 He has earned so much in construction work.
07:50 You have an eye on construction work.
07:53 You don't have money in transport.
07:54 You are sitting in some office.
07:58 You idiot.
07:59 Now he is telling you to get up.
08:01 - I have a bet with him. - What?
08:06 - Whatever he earns, that is mine. - Are you his wife?
08:09 Whatever you earn, that is mine.
08:13 And he is my brother-in-law.
08:14 - You are making a bet. - I have a bet.
08:17 Whoever earns more, that is mine.
08:19 I don't make bets.
08:21 Are you a pilot?
08:27 - Mr. Jinej. - Yes.
08:28 I am going to make a bet.
08:31 - No. - Yes.
08:33 - Get the license. - License.
08:35 - Hello. - Don't come after me.
08:38 Go and get the license.
08:41 - Ma'am, your rice. - Come, we are in a hurry.
08:45 - Ma'am, this is my brother. - Sit, ma'am.
08:48 Ma'am, give me the rice.
08:50 - Give me the rice. - Leave me.
08:53 Give me the rice.
08:56 Give me the rice.
08:57 - Where are you going? - To hell.
09:01 What is your problem?
09:05 Do you look like a mother? Why are you asking?
09:06 She is my sister. Tell me if you are a mother.
09:11 Do you look like an uncle? Why are you asking?
09:13 I can't even ride a bike.
09:15 Ask anyone. I will get the marriage proposal.
09:19 I have made the passport.
09:25 Now I will get a proposal for my sister.
09:27 Okay, tell me what happened.
09:29 Haroon, I will tell you.
09:31 Ma'am, you are not that worried.
09:34 You are so angry.
09:36 - Yes, tell me what happened. - My husband.
09:38 - He is your husband. - Haroon, my husband.
09:41 - What happened? - I just got married.
09:43 Haroon, my husband.
09:45 They will get corona.
09:47 They are your sisters. Have a heart.
09:51 It's nothing like that. They are your brothers.
09:54 - Haroon, my husband. - I am not your husband.
09:57 Leave it. We know everything.
10:00 God has given us so much wealth.
10:01 We can even build a house.
10:03 I will call aunt. I will tell her.
10:06 One second. What is your husband's name?
10:08 We say Haroon, my husband.
10:10 No. One second.
10:14 Do you know what Haroon does these days?
10:17 Did he tell you anything?
10:19 - Tell me. - I will tell you.
10:23 You are misunderstanding.
10:25 - I will clear it. - No.
10:27 We will just turn our legs.
10:28 You will turn the whole environment.
10:30 One second. I will clear it.
10:32 What is your husband's name?
10:34 Haroon.
10:35 - Yes. - Yes.
10:36 - Who is it? - There is only one Haroon in the world.
10:40 She came here looking for him.
10:41 There is only one Haroon for me.
10:44 - Haroon. - There is only one.
10:47 Yes, ma'am.
10:48 I will tell you. I don't know.
10:52 Don't worry.
10:53 Why would she run away?
10:56 What are you doing? Are you angry with me?
10:59 Are you angry with me?
11:01 Don't touch me. Don't you know me?
11:03 If you talk to your mother, what will happen to her?
11:06 - Yes. - Yes.
11:07 Don't worry. I will call you.
11:09 Brother, look for a woman.
11:11 She is wearing a black bedspread and a red suit.
11:12 - What is your name? - Haroon.
11:14 Brother, forgive us.
11:16 See. I was saying.
11:18 - You are the son of love. - Say it in a carbonated way.
11:21 I want my black skin back.
11:23 Did you call my mother?
11:26 Yes, I did.
11:27 - Is the bedspread black? - Yes, it is red.
11:30 Mother, get me a shoe.
11:33 I have got the proof today.
11:37 - Come on, hurry up. - If you see her, tell me.
11:39 She is sitting here.
11:41 - You think she is my wife? - Brother, come here.
11:43 She is sitting inside.
11:44 Hello.
11:49 Mother, forgive us.
11:52 I will remove the shoe if you find out that she..
11:54 - What about the shoe? - What have you done to me?
11:56 You are like the dirt of your rickshaw tyres.
11:59 It's not her fault.
12:01 My mother has misbehaved with my in-laws.
12:05 What happened?
12:06 She tells them to eat food.
12:08 Why don't you say this in front of them?
12:11 I didn't think that he would become a beggar.
12:15 I will tell you the truth.
12:18 - Tell me. - It's been two days since we got married.
12:21 - Really? - It's been a long time.
12:23 He hasn't fixed the kitchen yet.
12:27 The tiles in the kitchen are not good.
12:29 The taps in the kitchen are not good.
12:31 There is no plate in the kitchen.
12:33 There is no dispenser.
12:35 Where should I go?
12:36 Zoya, please order me once.
12:39 I will pay you a lot of money but I will fix the kitchen today.
12:42 Your work is done.
12:44 But Junaid, I don't know if I can fix the kitchen or not.
12:48 If you can fix it, you can fix your own kitchen.
12:52 If you want to fix the bathroom, you can't do that.
12:55 What is your idea?
12:57 You are right.
12:59 Tell me, is your bathroom okay?
13:02 It's perfect.
13:05 - How many bathrooms are there in the house? - Five.
13:07 Make six.
13:09 I mean, two, two, two.
13:11 - How much will you charge? - Look at the money.
13:14 You have to pay for the materials.
13:17 You can also do the contract.
13:19 It's good. You can do the contract.
13:21 - Make it fast. - Yes.
13:22 You have to get the commode of your choice.
13:23 You can get whatever you want.
13:25 - Commode? - Yes.
13:27 Why should we get the commode?
13:28 You can get it or not, but he will get it.
13:30 Get it.
13:33 - Tell me the money. - Money?
13:35 The material will be yours.
13:36 Will you work for 10 lakhs?
13:38 - 10 lakhs is a lot. - 10 lakhs is the contract.
13:40 - One day's 10 lakhs is a lot. - Yes.
13:42 - It will be done. - Wow.
13:44 - 10 lakhs. - With material?
13:46 No, it has to be material.
13:47 - Labor. - It's labor.
13:49 What are you doing? You have to make a bathroom in 10 steps.
13:51 Sir, I can go to any extent to convince my wife.
13:54 I will sell my mother's jewelry.
13:55 It's decided. Come on.
13:58 - Come on. - Come on, madam.
13:59 - Promise me. Keep me happy. - I promise.
14:01 - Gogay, congratulations. - Yes, sir.
14:04 You have earned 10 lakhs today.
14:06 - Wow. - 10 lakhs is my life.
14:10 - Sir, I have found out. - Yes.
14:11 - 10 lakhs is not a small amount. - Yes.
14:14 But I don't have time.
14:16 What do you want to do?
14:18 I want to live here.
14:19 - Wow. - Take 15 lakhs.
14:21 No, I don't want to eat even 15 lakhs.
14:23 - Take 20 lakhs. - No, I don't want to eat even 12 lakhs.
14:25 - 25. - Madam, give me 30 lakhs.
14:27 I won't leave my shop.
14:29 You and your friends think that
14:32 you will earn and I will earn.
14:35 - Go and live with them. - Come on.
14:37 You and I will earn.
14:38 Go. The ride is left.
14:39 - Come and give me the money. - Come in front.
14:41 I will give you the money.
14:43 - Yes. - Listen, we have already discussed.
14:46 - Yes, I agree. - I will earn whatever he earns.
14:49 - Go and leave the ride. - I am not doing that.
14:52 Sir, what should we do?
14:54 I am a big shot.
14:55 Someone should lift me.
14:57 Okay, I will give you 60 lakhs.
14:59 But take 30 lakhs.
15:01 Do you know what?
15:03 Tomorrow, I will give you 10,000 rupees.
15:05 I will do your work.
15:06 You won't even go for a crore today.
15:11 Go with them.
15:12 Why are you kicking my children?
15:15 I am not kicking my own children.
15:16 Tomorrow, the bathroom will be ready with 10,000 rupees.
15:18 First, give me ice cream.
15:19 Where will you eat it from?
15:21 - I will eat it from Murree. - Where?
15:22 - Sit there. - The one who has a cup,
15:24 he has a plate.
15:25 - Where are you going? - To Murree.
15:29 It is very far.
15:30 It is better. I will take 50,000 rupees.
15:33 - 50,000? - Yes.
15:38 Come on, get the vehicle.
15:40 I will give you 50,000 rupees.
15:42 We have spoken to four people.
15:45 Tomorrow, I will have a fever.
15:47 You have spoiled your promise.
15:50 Now, you will have to pay 50 lakhs.
15:52 Here is the money.
15:54 Take 100,000 rupees.
15:55 - What? - 100,000 rupees.
15:57 - 100,000 rupees? - Yes.
15:58 Okay.
15:59 Thank God, I got 100,000 rupees.
16:03 Come soon, my son.
16:06 I will go to regret it.
16:09 - Listen to me. - Yes.
16:11 He is standing here like a guard.
16:14 Oh, God!
16:17 Here.
16:18 Oh, God! It is clean.
16:20 Thank you.
16:21 I can't see. I have to go.
16:23 You don't worry.
16:24 You have to take care of the cleanliness.
16:26 Here.
16:27 Wow!
16:28 - Oh, God! - Hit it on the head.
16:31 Who hits the headlight, Viper?
16:34 - It is us. - Be careful.
16:36 God has given you. We don't need it.
16:38 Here is the money.
16:41 Here.
16:43 He has cleaned the mirror.
16:46 - Don't worry. - It must have hurt a lot.
16:48 - It has hurt. - It is not because of the mirror.
16:50 I think you have a heart attack.
16:52 What is this?
16:54 - It is a Veer Pah. - Is it for the Veer?
16:56 It is for the Veer.
16:57 It is for the Veer.
16:59 He has opened the car and hit it.
17:01 It is a Veer Pah.
17:03 Didn't you do your work?
17:05 It is a Veer Pah. It is the mirror.
17:07 But you have put your life at stake.
17:09 Do you know where you have climbed?
17:10 Hey, brother.
17:12 Whoever wants to get the money, come here.
17:14 Hey, it is not the time to do this.
17:16 Give it to someone.
17:17 - It is the rate. - No, I am not talking.
17:19 - I am not talking. - I am not giving you.
17:21 - No, I am not talking. - The rate of the market is bad.
17:24 Look, I gave you the money. What do you want now?
17:28 No one is scared of a traffic jam here.
17:30 I am telling you. I will deduct the money.
17:33 - I am telling you. - What is this force?
17:35 I gave you the Veer Pah.
17:37 I didn't even tell you about the mirror.
17:39 If you didn't tell me, I would have done it.
17:41 You should make him dirty again.
17:43 You are all sitting here.
17:46 The entire market is sitting here.
17:47 I did my work in front of you.
17:49 You are not giving me the money.
17:50 I am telling you.
17:51 Come on, shift change.
17:54 Come.
17:55 - Yes. - Come, brother.
17:57 Come.
17:58 Shift change.
17:59 Did you come to drop the child to school?
18:01 He is not a child.
18:02 He is my grandfather.
18:04 He is a very rich man.
18:06 - You can ask him for the money. - Okay.
18:07 Thank God, I don't have to do this.
18:09 - Really? - Yes.
18:11 Very good.
18:13 Oh, God.
18:15 Oh, God.
18:16 I think you have brought a cake.
18:18 - Give me. - I have the card, but I don't have much cash.
18:22 You can hit me with your head.
18:24 Take this.
18:25 Okay, sister.
18:27 May God bless you.
18:29 - Shall we go home? - Yes.
18:30 He has also come to ask for the money.
18:32 What are you doing?
18:33 He has come to ask for money from his younger grandfather.
18:36 What is he doing?
18:37 - He will give all the money. - What is this?
18:40 I have come to know that he is a young man.
18:43 He has a speed. He can't take the money.
18:47 Get down. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.
18:50 Give me the money. Give me. Give me. Give me.
18:52 Give me.
18:53 - Again? - He won't move.
18:55 - Enough. Enough. - He is not a child. He is a rich man.
18:59 - Enough. Enough. - He is not a child. He is a rich man.
19:02 - He is a rich man. - He has come. Wait.
19:04 Enough. Don't make him ride a motorcycle.
19:06 Won't you go now?
19:09 - You will ruin your face. - I have told you that there are four people here.
19:11 I am talking to you.
19:12 Viewers, you can have a small break.
19:18 You will get a lot of fun after the break.
19:20 Welcome back, viewers.
19:24 Now our segment is Time Machine.
19:26 - Oh. - Wow.
19:28 Sir, I like this segment a lot.
19:29 Where is Malaika?
19:31 Sir, Malaika is a time machine thief.
19:33 It means that the next generation is going through a bad time.
19:37 - Okay. The person we are calling today.. - Yes.
19:41 ..is almost like a person from 5000 years ago.
19:46 - Oh. - Wow.
19:47 We are inviting him today because..
19:50 ..we will see the situation of that era.
19:53 - We will see what the situation was like. - Wow.
19:55 Because God has sent spies among humans.
19:58 Every human being has curiosity.
20:01 No one is answering you.
20:03 No one has been answering you for the last three months.
20:04 You can write to us.
20:05 If I tell you a secret, will you keep it?
20:09 - It will come to you immediately. - Yes.
20:11 So, spies. We have a spy.
20:14 The biggest thing that we all take advantage of..
20:18 ..and take advantage of so much that in the last two decades..
20:22 ..human beings have changed the world.
20:26 They have changed everything dynamically.
20:28 A personality from whom this all started.
20:31 And what is that?
20:33 That is writing.
20:34 - Wow. - Wow.
20:35 Until a person could write..
20:38 ..he could not pass on his experiences.
20:41 - Wow. - So, everyone had to burn again..
20:44 ..to know that fire burns.
20:46 - Hmm. - So, today we are from Sumerians.
20:49 This is the area of Baghdad.
20:52 - Which is called Iraq. - Iraq.
20:55 Iraq.
20:56 There used to be Mesopotamia.
20:59 We are calling a person from there.
21:01 Because this all started there.
21:03 So, we will know from him that how he started writing..
21:05 ..language writing.
21:09 What did he do? We will know everything.
21:11 - So, please call him. - Wow.
21:18 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you..
21:21 ..an old Sumerian.
21:24 Wow.
21:26 - Come. - Wow.
21:30 It seems to be 5000 years old.
21:32 What is this face-off?
21:34 It seems that both the sides have come out.
21:36 That Sumerian has gone to Sumerian.
21:40 I have come from time machine. How did you come here?
21:43 You should have eaten sweets with us.
21:47 Wow.
21:48 Now you will eat sweets.
21:51 Now you will eat Chinese.
21:53 He is making fun of me. I was going to eat sweets.
21:55 Get him a chair.
21:57 - Chair? - Yes.
21:59 - Did you make a chair? - Yes.
22:01 He is sitting on the floor and doing guilty.
22:04 I understood.
22:06 Baba, why are you barefoot?
22:08 Baba, your father, your mother.
22:11 - He is not Baba. - What?
22:13 In those days, this age was..
22:16 ..because life expectancy was low.
22:19 And people grew old very fast.
22:22 I think he must be around 30 years old.
22:24 - Yes. - I think Baba had feet too.
22:27 Uncle, cover your right shoulder and cover your left too.
22:32 I didn't have any voice.
22:33 Do you see this in his hand?
22:35 It's a divorce.
22:37 Baba, you are making fun of me.
22:39 You are making fun of me.
22:41 No, no. These are clay tablets.
22:44 In Urdu, you call it plates.
22:46 - And it was made of wet clay. - Okay.
22:48 So, he made these shapes on it.
22:51 - The first language, writing developed.. - Yes.
22:55 ..was that he did this.
22:57 His problem was that in his time, where he used to live..
23:01 ..the cities had become very big.
23:03 Okay, you tell us. How did you write? What did you do?
23:06 I want to tell the boys.
23:08 - In our village.. - Yes.
23:10 - ..the name was Kransi. - Yes, that's right.
23:12 - We used to sell it for Rs. 5000. - Yes.
23:15 We used to keep two sticks.
23:17 Did you hear this sound from the sticks?
23:21 Yes, but now you are taking a fast one.
23:24 He used to make this sound.
23:26 He was dumb, so he couldn't speak.
23:28 - Baba's get up is very nice. - Yes.
23:31 If you look closely, he looks like Sher Khan's son on TV.
23:35 - He used to be on TV. - Okay, so he was on TV.
23:38 He didn't have any disease. No diabetes, no TB, no heart attack.
23:41 He used to massage each other. He didn't kill anyone.
23:45 Uncle, your feet are getting so dirty.
23:48 - Have you ever thought of getting them pedicured? - No.
23:50 - Wow, brother. - You used to carry small fishes.
23:53 I used to wash my feet.
23:56 Baba, if you lick a little bit of cleanliness..
24:03 - He doesn't say Baba. - Okay.
24:05 He looks like a priest.
24:07 Okay, I'll tell you something.
24:09 - We have heard about burgers, pizzas.. - Yes.
24:13 - You have eaten a lot of things. - Yes.
24:15 - We didn't have anything. - What?
24:17 - Except wheat. - Absolutely.
24:19 We used to do a lot of things.
24:21 We used to eat a lot of things.
24:22 We used to count a lot of things.
24:24 The most expensive thing in our time was wheat.
24:29 - Okay, this started from here. - No one cared about gold.
24:31 They would kill us if we didn't have gold.
24:33 "I don't have gold."
24:34 "Then what do I do?"
24:35 The people who lived near Farad
24:39 had a very good area.
24:43 They used to grow wheat there.
24:45 - So, they needed to write. - Okay.
24:48 They used to collect wheat
24:51 and store it in one place.
24:53 In those days, they used to store it near Peshwa.
24:58 The wheat you have stored
25:00 was given to you by the farmers.
25:05 If you give two piles of wheat
25:07 you have to store two piles of it.
25:10 - Okay. - Wow.
25:11 People used to make more of it.
25:14 - They used to make more. - Yes.
25:18 Sometimes, they made less.
25:19 First, they used to make a seal.
25:21 They used to put a seal on it.
25:24 The world is dishonest from the beginning.
25:27 They used to collect things and make seals.
25:30 They made seals from the ground.
25:32 In those days, they knew how to make pottery.
25:35 - Yes. - They used to make seals.
25:37 - Was there anything like clay? - The interesting thing is
25:39 that clay was their bank.
25:41 - Okay. - They used to get cash from it.
25:45 So, they made such big cities
25:47 that in those days,
25:48 their cities were occupied by people up to 85,000.
25:53 Believe me,
25:55 no one is as rich as him.
25:57 Yes.
25:58 He was naked then.
26:00 I didn't have clothes then.
26:02 Someone taught me in a time machine.
26:04 I started coming there.
26:06 We saved our show by getting rid of him.
26:08 I started writing before the education.
26:12 He was the first person
26:14 who formed the Kewnai form.
26:15 - It's called the Kewnai form. - Yes.
26:17 How did he write it?
26:19 If he wanted to write that a fish is in water
26:21 how did you write it?
26:23 We used to make plates from clay.
26:26 - Yes. - We used to make fish from it.
26:28 - We used to make water from it. - Yes.
26:29 The fish would go into the water.
26:31 - It meant that the fish.. - The fish is in water.
26:35 - Okay. - In water.
26:36 When we used to write that the fish is to be eaten
26:38 we used to make a fish and make our faces with it.
26:41 If someone wants to say that fish is the queen of water
26:45 how will you make it?
26:47 We used to make the fish a little bit red.
26:49 - We used to make it a little bit brown. - Okay.
26:52 If you want to say about marriage
26:53 how will you write it?
26:55 - Marriage? - Yes.
26:56 We didn't have the fear of marriage.
26:59 If a man like you comes and proposes to me
27:01 I will say yes.
27:02 - Yes. - Yes.
27:03 - It will happen once. - You were married 5000 years ago.
27:07 - A person has some sense. - Yes.
27:10 - Yes. - Yes.
27:11 - Since the beginning.. - No, I am telling you.
27:14 Why are you feeling shy?
27:15 No, his tribe lived in our village for a long time.
27:18 - Okay. - We used to give them a conch and dance.
27:22 This is my handwriting.
27:25 - Oh! - I used to love a girl.
27:29 - Okay. - I made a clay plate
27:31 and wrote a letter expressing my love for her.
27:34 - Okay. - She put salad on it.
27:36 I gave it to her house.
27:38 She put a conch and made me hold it.
27:40 She said, "Baba, don't ask for it."
27:42 Sir, I had the word 'love' but she heard 'roti'.
27:46 - Oh, wow! - Yes.
27:49 Baba, he didn't say that you brought a clay plate.
27:51 He said, "A man brought a stone before you."
27:52 I thought, if she doesn't know how to read
27:56 how will she know about my love?
27:58 - Yes. - How will she read?
28:00 Then I made a school and asked her to study here.
28:02 - Yes. - I found out that I wrote this.
28:03 - Yes. - But she didn't come.
28:05 - Then? - Her father came to school and studied.
28:07 - Then? - He was angry and didn't understand.
28:12 - Yes. - He was afraid to hit me with shoes.
28:14 - Why? - He was afraid of shoes.
28:16 He wanted me to cut my hair.
28:20 - Okay. - He had dirty hair.
28:22 He used to talk clearly.
28:24 He used to say, "Hmph!"
28:26 "Hmph!"
28:27 He couldn't hit you, abuse you or cut your hair.
28:33 - Then what happened? - I had a problem.
28:36 - What? - I had a love plate.
28:39 - Yes. - He had given it to a girl before me.
28:41 - Oh! - He got married and got married again.
28:43 He cut my plate a lot.
28:45 I went to my room and made an announcement.
28:49 - What? - I said, "You are from the tribe."
28:52 - Yes. - "You have to be careful."
28:55 "The plate is moving."
28:56 It's not that you wrote a love letter to her.
29:02 No, I was just getting the book.
29:05 - Look at this. - What have you written?
29:08 - I want a watch. - How?
29:10 This is the watch. This is me. I want this.
29:14 - There's a big difference. - Yes.
29:17 I wrote this with a big difference.
29:19 Why are you asking for a watch in a love letter?
29:21 Actually, girls' names are not like that.
29:24 Toka, Kwaadi.
29:25 I just want to say that
29:27 - the times are better than ours. - Yes.
29:30 You have all the facilities.
29:33 The thing is that people are not grateful.
29:36 Look, your life expectancy has reached 83 years.
29:40 - 83 years is the average life span. - Yes.
29:43 If you were 45 or 40 years old in those days
29:46 then sadly, we are all brothers.
29:51 There are some African countries
29:54 where the average life span is only 45 years.
29:57 Wow.
29:58 There are many countries that are conflict zones.
30:01 They force people to work.
30:03 Those conflict zones exist
30:05 so that the conflict does not develop.
30:09 So that they cannot control their resources.
30:12 So that they cannot go into isolation.
30:14 - That's why they have made conflict zones. - They cannot identify themselves.
30:18 There is a film called 'Blood Diamond' to understand this concept.
30:21 - You must watch it. - Yes.
30:22 - It's a great film. - It's a great film.
30:24 Leonardo DiCaprio has done a great acting.
30:26 - Why do you raise kids? - Why?
30:29 There is no film that he has not watched.
30:32 Find a film.
30:34 - There is a message in it. - Yes.
30:35 Don't think it is entertaining.
30:38 - In our times.. - Yes.
30:40 - We will take popcorn. - Okay.
30:41 - And we will crave to watch a film. - Why?
30:43 - Are you mad? - Why?
30:45 How can you watch a film in that condition?
30:46 Baba, what you think of, we can do that.
30:51 - We can do that. - I love you.
30:53 We can watch popcorn, but not a film.
30:55 Times are short.
30:57 - We don't know what year it is. - Yes.
30:59 In our times, it's not even a year
31:02 that people have to go out naked.
31:04 Baba's old joke.
31:07 He takes a dog out of the snow and he does this.
31:13 - I didn't understand. - Why?
31:15 There were no dogs in those days.
31:17 But there were animals.
31:19 Monkeys used to climb trees and..
31:21 - Give me the phone. - Here.
31:23 Baba, did you have electricity in your area?
31:27 - No. - Was there gas?
31:28 - No. - Was there petrol?
31:29 - No. - This is a Pakistani thing.
31:31 We had to use electricity for years.
31:42 Viewers, there's a small break.
31:44 Don't go anywhere. We'll meet after the break.
31:46 Welcome back, viewers.
31:50 Friends, the thing is that our audience came to us from far.
31:55 - God bless. - Some people came from Faisalabad.
31:57 - God bless. - We call the number we use.
32:01 - Many of our.. - You give numbers, right?
32:04 I'm not Baba Numberwala.
32:07 I use the number of DNY.
32:09 What happened?
32:11 I can't take it anymore.
32:13 - I told you not to.. - I'm not talking about Hesham.
32:17 Me and the deceased become monkeys.
32:20 - We call you by your name. - No doubt.
32:23 Sometimes, there's no gratitude.
32:25 Sometimes, there's no word of thank you.
32:27 What do you want from us?
32:29 We even get our cheques with them.
32:32 Next time, your cheque..
32:35 God bless.
32:36 Me and the deceased call you prince, leaving our partners.
32:41 - Yes. - Okay?
32:41 Don't you think you should reciprocate?
32:44 - One second. - They're buttering you up.
32:46 - Many times.. - What are they doing?
32:48 Mr. Saleem, many times,
32:51 a person thinks that whatever he's doing
32:54 is a great thing.
32:56 It's a common thing. Call me prince.
32:59 - Yes. - Call me uncle.
33:00 You're making fun of people. What do you call people?
33:03 What do people call you?
33:05 It's not about you.
33:07 - It's the nature of every anchor. - What?
33:10 It's just that..
33:12 Mr. Agha, you're bald.
33:15 Do you feel cold on your head?
33:18 - No. - I have a hot and cold head.
33:22 But still, God has given me the power of cold.
33:26 - Yes. - It's okay.
33:27 Mr. Danish, since you have a long moustache..
33:30 I don't feel cold.
33:31 Mr. Danish, there's a song for you.
33:34 - Which one? - 'Umaran Langiya Muccha Par'
33:36 Even a cow doesn't feel cold.
33:39 - Why? - Get a heater.
33:41 The heater will make him feel cold.
33:42 I have a single shirt.
33:47 By God, he looks very bad.
33:50 - No. - He has a chain.
33:53 You can tell from his face that he's bald.
33:55 How much chain did he get?
33:58 Did he get it for your engagement?
34:00 - Or for your dowry? - He wanted to get a chain for his engagement.
34:03 He doesn't get a chain for his engagement.
34:04 He gets a chain for his dowry.
34:06 Did he get a chain for his dowry?
34:09 He's a conductor.
34:12 Did he get a chain for his dowry?
34:16 He's a chain-shrieker.
34:18 Why is there 'R' on your chain?
34:20 - Is there 'R' on the chain? - Yes.
34:22 His father sold it to him.
34:23 Nasreen Arya Par.
34:26 He's grown up now.
34:32 His mother embarrassed him.
34:34 She said, "See, he's bald now."
34:37 His father created a WhatsApp group.
34:39 He added all the problems.
34:41 He wrote 'Aak' in it and you left.
34:43 Let's talk to the audience.
34:48 - Greetings. - Greetings.
34:50 - My name is Mohammad Zainul Haq. - Okay.
34:52 - I want to tell you a poem. - Go ahead.
34:55 I only sit in front to see you.
34:58 Otherwise, I used to sit in the back in empty classes.
35:01 I got into trouble in studies and I fell in love.
35:04 I've faced two atrocities in my youth.
35:07 - Wow. - Wow.
35:09 My life will be in my tree.
35:14 He gets lost in his own marriage.
35:17 Why?
35:18 Why? Tell me. I'll bet.
35:21 I'll tell you.
35:24 I'll tell you the meaning of the poem.
35:28 He gets lost in his own marriage.
35:31 He says, "Sister, I'm a tailor."
35:33 Wow.
35:34 - Look at Mr. Shiljit. - Yes.
35:38 He opens the shop in the morning and the first thing he does is hit.
35:41 He gets angry.
35:43 He hits everyday. What does Mangal Bhau do?
35:47 Mangal Bhau is the one who sells torn clothes.
35:51 He's the one who sells torn clothes.
35:54 Next.
35:56 - Greetings. - Greetings.
35:58 - My name is Luqman. - Okay.
35:59 - I want to tell you a poem. - Go ahead.
36:02 Why should we decide the fate of this?
36:04 - Why should we decide the fate of this? - Why should we decide the fate of this?
36:07 - This or that? - Wow.
36:09 He's embarrassed himself.
36:10 Wow.
36:13 Wow.
36:15 Let me tell you something.
36:16 The sooner your poem expires,
36:19 - you're right. - Yes.
36:22 Very good.
36:23 - Again. - Okay, tell me again.
36:26 Why should we decide the fate of this?
36:29 Is there any compulsion?
36:31 Why should we decide the fate of this?
36:32 Is there any compulsion?
36:34 Why should we celebrate the day of love?
36:36 Is love a matter of a day?
36:38 - Wow. - Wow.
36:40 Charlie will tell you about the boys who are like this.
36:46 What do they do?
36:47 He was very proud of himself.
36:50 He was like, "I'm the one who's going to wear pants."
36:53 - Yes. - Greetings.
36:55 - Greetings. - My name is Sajida Ali.
36:57 - Okay. - I want to tell you a poem.
36:59 - Go ahead. - I thought I'd write a poem on your simplicity.
37:02 - Okay. - I thought I'd write a poem on your simplicity.
37:06 But unfortunately, I couldn't find the words to your love.
37:09 - Wow. - Wow.
37:12 There's a poem in the poem.
37:14 No one listens to it.
37:16 And my old condition..
37:20 There was a poet.
37:21 I thought I'd write a poem on your simplicity.
37:24 But health didn't allow it.
37:25 Are you upset?
37:28 No, I'm not upset.
37:30 - You guys are my old friends. - Yes.
37:33 I suddenly got to know that he was a poet.
37:35 I don't know why he didn't come back.
37:37 - Yes. - Greetings.
37:42 - I'm Ahsan Akbar. - Wow.
37:44 - I wanted to do a monologue. - You want to perform?
37:47 - Yes. - Come.
37:48 Sir, I'm going to play Vani.
37:53 - Okay. - I'm doing it in UCB Takla.
37:55 I'll do a sad monologue.
38:00 - And a funny one. - Do a funny one.
38:02 - Do a funny one. - I don't feel like it.
38:04 Look, he's not smiling yet.
38:06 - Don't make it sad. - Funny.
38:08 - Please. - Do a funny one.
38:10 - Okay. - Do a funny one.
38:11 It'll be sadder.
38:13 Yes.
38:15 Goga, where were you?
38:17 I asked you to slap me.
38:19 But you didn't slap me.
38:23 What's wrong, aunt?
38:24 You don't even let your servants sleep.
38:28 What work do they have?
38:29 They only have to do the chores.
38:31 The servants have to do all the work.
38:33 Those were the days when our great Nawab was alive.
38:37 He used to cook such delicious food.
38:40 He used to cook bitter gourd in the morning,
38:41 and mutton in the afternoon,
38:42 and mutton in the night.
38:44 And aunt, when you came,
38:45 he used to cook pumpkin in the morning,
38:46 pumpkin in the afternoon, and pumpkin in the evening.
38:47 The next day, he used to cook pumpkin in the morning,
38:48 pumpkin in the afternoon, and pumpkin in the evening.
38:50 Aunt, please hold my hand.
38:51 He left me in the pumpkin field. I'll eat it myself.
38:54 Keep your nonsense to yourself.
38:55 I was going to say this dialogue.
38:57 I want to listen to your father's songs.
39:01 Aunt, please clean my house. I don't want to work.
39:05 Why? Why don't you want to work?
39:07 Why? Ask me what hasn't happened.
39:10 Such a strange family.
39:11 They only have two beds at home.
39:12 One is for me to sleep, and the other is for my husband.
39:15 And they made me sleep on the floor.
39:17 And I swear, when I sleep at night,
39:18 I take a towel and my bed gets wet.
39:21 They gave me a blanket on one side of the bed,
39:24 which I'll use for that.
39:25 I'll wear that blanket all day.
39:27 I'll sleep at night and put that blanket on the floor.
39:29 When it gets cold, I'll bring that blanket upstairs.
39:33 And I'll hang that blanket on the door of the washroom.
39:37 And when I want to make my aunt happy,
39:39 I'll put that blanket on the back
39:40 and say, "Superman is here."
39:45 Very nice.
39:48 Yes?
39:49 - Greetings. - Greetings.
39:50 - My name is Abdullah. - Yes.
39:52 - I'm an O-Level student. - Okay.
39:54 I'm singing for a Goga uncle.
39:56 Wow! First of all, you're a very decent,
39:59 very good kid that you called him a Goga uncle.
40:01 - Now, your turn. - Sir, he's an O-Level student.
40:05 He's not one of those people.
40:08 If he's an O-Level student, he's also an O-Level student.
40:12 - Yes. - No, he's not an O-Level student.
40:15 No, he's not an O-Level student.
40:17 - Yes. - You're so innocent.
40:21 - Yes. - Yes.
40:22 - Wow! - He's an angel for you.
40:28 He's not a black angel.
40:32 - Yes. - You're so innocent.
40:35 You're so easy.
40:37 You're like a desert.
40:38 You're like a sea.
40:40 - Wow! - Wow!
40:44 Thank you. Thank you, son.
40:45 What did you think, Mr. Goga?
40:46 Your poem was good.
40:48 Not the poem, he did your mark of the sea.
40:52 - Yes. - He said, "The water doesn't end even if you take a bath."
40:56 - He said, "It's easy." - Easy.
41:02 "Take a bath and go to the desert, which is your area."
41:06 And he didn't say, "For you."
41:09 He took the poem of Vicky.
41:11 When you take a bath, our song plays.
41:15 "When death comes, go to the desert."
41:17 Since the beginning of the segment, I don't understand why he's having a headache.
41:22 But..
41:23 He has a headache.
41:26 He's a barber.
41:27 But why did you play this song?
41:29 You don't run to the city when death comes.
41:31 He's not a donkey.
41:34 - Donkeys are so cute. - Yes.
41:35 Okay, bye.
41:36 Viewers, this was today's show.
41:41 We'll meet you in the next show.
41:43 Take care.
41:45 Goodbye.
41:46 Hoshi ya liya, hoshi ya liya, oh!