Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 3rd April 2024
Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 3rd April 2024
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan, Hoshiyaariyaan"
00:02 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:06 Friends, in our daily lives, we prioritize certain things.
00:10 We attach value to certain things.
00:12 For example, if we see a food item with a brand written on it
00:17 that we like a lot, we attach a value to it.
00:20 It will be great.
00:21 Whether it's a dessert or a food item.
00:23 In life, when we need an employee
00:27 or a friend, or a life partner,
00:32 or if we are in search of anything, we attach value to certain things.
00:37 Normally, we have seen that people attach a lot of value to talent.
00:41 People attach a lot of value to money.
00:43 People attach a lot of value to education.
00:46 People attach a lot of value to parents.
00:49 But today, I want to request you.
00:51 I have learnt that the most important thing in life is sincerity.
00:57 It is sincerity.
00:59 It is good intentions.
01:00 It is purity.
01:02 It is honesty.
01:03 If you are looking for a friend, leave everything and focus on sincerity.
01:08 He is sincere with you.
01:09 If you are looking for a spouse, focus on sincerity.
01:14 This is something that makes all the lights go out.
01:19 The value of everything goes out.
01:21 And insincerity is such a terrible thing
01:25 that if you are insincere despite having everything,
01:29 then everything is ruined.
01:33 So, for friends, employees, or anyone else,
01:37 the most important thing is sincerity.
01:40 Let's start today's show with this message.
01:43 Let's take you to the clinic and see what the doctor is doing.
01:46 Tell me why there is red syrup in the drip.
01:50 It's fasting today.
01:51 (LAUGHTER)
01:52 (APPLAUSE)
01:54 -The patients who come to me... -Yes.
01:57 ...they have a problem with their stomach.
01:59 Because when they fast, they don't remember their parents.
02:03 They only remember the samosas and fritters.
02:05 Doctor, why do they feel very lazy?
02:07 Look, our blood gets thicker when we eat.
02:11 -That's why we can't do this. -No.
02:13 Doctor, I have a problem.
02:15 You have enough. You can't eat one.
02:17 (LAUGHTER)
02:18 Doctor, the problem is that when I sleep after fasting,
02:21 I feel like the food is coming up.
02:23 -What should I do for that? -Stand up after eating.
02:26 (LAUGHTER)
02:27 You should walk 70-72 steps after eating.
02:30 Why 70-72?
02:31 To pray for the doctor after walking 72 steps.
02:34 Yes.
02:35 -I watch your show. -Really?
02:37 You are so good. You cure half the patients.
02:41 -Yes. -Do you see that?
02:42 -Yes. -I'll put your show in it
02:44 when you do the operation.
02:46 (LAUGHTER)
02:47 We'll pay the fees.
02:49 What's the use of paying the fees?
02:50 -It's so easy. -What fees?
02:52 They pay Rs. 5000 by crying.
02:55 Oh!
02:56 I'm a neurosurgeon.
02:58 -He's a neurosurgeon. -Oh!
02:59 (LAUGHTER)
03:00 Neurosurgeons are his surgeons.
03:02 No, he's a neurosurgeon.
03:05 (LAUGHTER)
03:06 Have you seen neurosurgeons?
03:08 -They are the people of the brain. -Yes.
03:10 I'm not joking. I've taken degrees.
03:12 -You are laughing. -Doctor, I think
03:14 someone has died. Flat lines are forming.
03:17 No one has got the flat lines.
03:19 No, they haven't.
03:20 Then the engine will start. The bed will be in pain.
03:22 (LAUGHTER)
03:23 Is the 84-year-old woman getting a pulse from the bed?
03:25 (LAUGHTER)
03:26 -The patient in the back is in pain. -How?
03:29 He was getting his blood pressure down.
03:31 (LAUGHTER)
03:32 We brought him here to do the blood pressure test.
03:35 (LAUGHTER)
03:37 Hello.
03:38 Yes, Mahira. We'll meet at the canteen during the iftar.
03:41 Mahira.
03:42 Is this a hospital?
03:44 Why don't you let your patients come?
03:46 You called me at the last minute.
03:48 -The bed is empty. -What do you mean?
03:51 (LAUGHTER)
03:52 Do you know who the patient is?
03:55 -No, I know. -What?
03:57 -Sorry, sir. -You keep calling me at the last minute.
03:59 -I didn't hear the call. -No, no.
04:02 I'll tell you what I'll do at the hospital.
04:04 I'll tell you that I'll die
04:06 but you won't touch me.
04:08 I know that you won't touch me no matter what.
04:11 You are late.
04:13 You should have told him the day he came to work.
04:16 I kept the bed ready in the morning.
04:19 Sir, I understand that the patient is not well.
04:20 -He'll open the bed. -Yes.
04:22 He'll tell me to look at him.
04:24 He's trying to tickle me. I'll tell him to look at me.
04:26 I'll tell him that he'll come again.
04:28 I'll open the bed for him.
04:30 (LAUGHTER)
04:31 -Okay. -Yes.
04:32 I'll do the general service.
04:33 (LAUGHTER)
04:35 I was wondering why you were listening to the phone.
04:37 -Sir, I heard you. -You are a doctor.
04:41 You have a PCO.
04:42 Is this a place to listen to the phone?
04:44 -Sorry, sir. -There are patients here.
04:45 You... Shut up!
04:47 I'll show you.
04:50 -Oh! -Oh!
04:55 Check what's wrong with me.
04:58 Sir, you said that you won't touch me.
05:01 I won't touch you.
05:02 I'll get a good doctor.
05:04 Listen, you can even fix your legs.
05:06 (LAUGHTER)
05:09 How are you, sir?
05:10 I'm absolutely fine, Mr. Shakir. How are you?
05:12 I think you sang a song in the show 'Huchiyariya'.
05:17 (LAUGHTER)
05:19 -Yes. -Greetings.
05:21 -Greetings. -Are you a doctor?
05:23 -Yes, sir. -Okay.
05:24 Listen to me. What do you want?
05:27 I have everything ready.
05:28 (LAUGHTER)
05:29 Listen to me.
05:31 I have samosas, chutney, chickpeas.
05:34 (LAUGHTER)
05:37 Please sit.
05:39 -Who are you? -I'm a patient.
05:42 What's your problem?
05:43 I don't remember what my problem is.
05:45 -I see. -Try to remember.
05:47 It could be a problem.
05:48 One minute.
05:49 -Let me tell you. -He has written it down.
05:52 Give it to me.
05:54 It's a memory problem, doctor.
05:57 -Oh, a memory problem. -Yes.
05:59 -What's your name? -I don't remember.
06:02 You must have written it down. Check it.
06:05 Yes, Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
06:10 -Dr. Sajidullah Khan? -Yes.
06:12 -I was waiting for you. -Yes.
06:15 I have a head injury.
06:17 (LAUGHTER)
06:18 Please check me.
06:20 No, I'm sorry. I knew you were in an emergency.
06:24 I had a lot of patients.
06:26 -It happens. -Yes.
06:28 -Please check me. -Come here.
06:30 I'm in pain. I feel dizzy.
06:32 -I feel dizzy. -Come here.
06:34 (LAUGHTER)
06:35 (GIGGLES)
06:36 (GROANS)
06:39 The doctor has cured me.
06:41 (LAUGHTER)
06:42 (GROANS)
06:45 -Oh. -Do you have a problem?
06:48 (LAUGHTER)
06:49 You have two hair in your head.
06:54 (LAUGHTER)
06:55 -Open your mouth. -What?
06:58 Your lower teeth are infected and the upper one is eating.
07:03 (LAUGHTER)
07:04 -Do you have a headache? -Yes.
07:07 Yes. It's because of the fever.
07:10 -What? -Because of the fever?
07:12 Yes.
07:13 (LAUGHTER)
07:14 Come here.
07:15 -Oh. -She's sitting on the other seat.
07:21 Doctor, you're sitting on a thick sheet.
07:24 You look like a doctor from abroad.
07:26 (LAUGHTER)
07:27 Forget my name. Tell me your name.
07:30 I don't remember my name, doctor.
07:32 Oh.
07:33 You have an X-ray on the printer paper.
07:35 (LAUGHTER)
07:36 I thought you were cutting your nose hair.
07:40 That's why you have an X-ray on your head.
07:42 (LAUGHTER)
07:43 No. I don't remember my name.
07:46 Let me check if you have it written somewhere.
07:49 Yes.
07:50 Yes. Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
07:55 -Oh. You're Dr. Sajidullah Khan? -Yes.
07:58 Doctor, I came to see you.
08:00 Where were you?
08:02 What's your problem?
08:03 Doctor, I forget things.
08:05 -Oh. -Oh.
08:06 It's your mental problem. Come here.
08:08 (LAUGHTER)
08:09 (APPLAUSE)
08:10 Oh, God. What's happening?
08:15 I think I have a mental problem too.
08:18 (LAUGHTER)
08:19 Do you get dizzy?
08:20 -Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy. -Yes, I do.
08:23 -My heart is weak. -Do you have a fever?
08:25 Yes. I had a Sri Lanka fever the other day.
08:28 (LAUGHTER)
08:29 Okay.
08:30 Do you brush your teeth like this?
08:33 It's a broom.
08:35 (LAUGHTER)
08:36 You have your own hair in your eyes.
08:39 (LAUGHTER)
08:40 Oh.
08:43 Don't worry. Don't worry.
08:46 -Hmm. -Tension is everything.
08:49 -Hmm. -Come here.
08:50 -Hmm. -Come here.
08:51 Come here.
08:53 Come. In the name of God.
08:55 Oh. I don't know what kind of diseases you have.
09:00 So, what's your problem?
09:02 (LAUGHTER)
09:05 -Before coming to you... -Yes.
09:07 I have consulted a doctor here.
09:10 (LAUGHTER)
09:11 Forget about that doctor.
09:12 Tell me what's your problem.
09:15 The doctor who checked me here,
09:17 I told him that I have a forgetfulness disorder.
09:20 -A forgetfulness disorder? -Yes.
09:22 Okay. Okay.
09:23 Tell me his name.
09:24 I can't remember his name.
09:27 He must have written it somewhere.
09:29 Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
09:31 -Dr. Sajidullah Khan? -Yes.
09:33 Where did you go?
09:34 (LAUGHTER)
09:35 (APPLAUSE)
09:36 Doctor, I feel dizzy. I'm in pain.
09:41 Come here.
09:42 (LAUGHTER)
09:43 -Come here. -What a house you have!
09:46 (LAUGHTER)
09:48 -Oh. -This is the plan.
09:49 Oh.
09:50 What did you eat in the morning?
09:52 I had a walk in the morning. I had three parathas.
09:55 Hmm.
09:56 -Half a kilo of curd. -Hmm.
09:57 A little sugar, a cup of tea.
09:59 And make a bill. How much will it cost?
10:01 (LAUGHTER)
10:03 I think this is very exaggerated.
10:05 You have a small table and you have lost your memory.
10:08 Yes, this is exaggerated.
10:09 Otherwise, the memory that is lost,
10:11 some of it is lost because
10:13 the brain deliberately creates this disorder within itself.
10:17 -Oh. -Oh.
10:18 That's because some accidents happen in life.
10:22 God forbid, it happens to someone.
10:23 Especially, when people go to war,
10:25 the armies that are fighting wars in the world,
10:28 they see some scenes or some traumas in life
10:32 that the brain wants to erase that memory of that period.
10:37 Hmm.
10:38 To remove it.
10:39 So, it deliberately destroys your memory.
10:42 When it does this, for a long time,
10:45 because there are two registers in the brain,
10:47 there are two memory registers.
10:49 One has old memories.
10:51 One has all the things that are happening now.
10:54 So, it registers in the present.
10:57 You must have seen deja vu.
10:58 Hmm.
11:00 What happens is that your brain, by mistake,
11:02 the things that are in the present memory,
11:04 which should be in the present register,
11:06 it puts them in the past register by mistake.
11:08 -Oh. -Oh.
11:09 So, you feel that because you are retrieving from the past,
11:12 you have seen it.
11:13 -You have seen it. -You haven't seen it.
11:15 So, for a long time, the brain does this,
11:17 it shuts down the memory of the present.
11:20 Hmm.
11:21 Now, should I write you a medicine if it keeps quiet?
11:24 (ALL LAUGHING)
11:26 When does the world remain quiet?
11:28 Let it say what it wants to say.
11:30 -Oh, wow. -Come.
11:32 Come.
11:33 Come.
11:36 What is your name?
11:39 Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
11:41 Hey, this is my name.
11:44 Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
11:46 Oh, how are you, doctor? Are you fine?
11:47 How are you? How is your mood?
11:49 (ALL LAUGHING)
11:51 These days, doctor, it's a very cold sweet.
11:54 (ALL LAUGHING)
11:55 I had three to four patients in the morning,
11:58 all three or four were of the brain.
11:59 (ALL LAUGHING)
12:01 (ALL APPLAUDING)
12:02 -Oh, wow. -Thank God, the first customer has come.
12:05 -Just relax. -In fact, double hi.
12:08 Oh, wow.
12:09 -Greetings, doctor. -Greetings.
12:11 Atif, son, don't do comedy. You are a patient.
12:13 (ALL LAUGHING)
12:15 Please, please, keep quiet.
12:16 Doctor, this is a routine check-up.
12:18 -Please do another check-up. -Oh, wow.
12:19 Is he so sick in routine?
12:21 (ALL LAUGHING)
12:22 Is this a routine check-up?
12:23 He has only one disease.
12:24 He has a headache for 24 hours.
12:26 He has a headache for half of his life.
12:27 No, no, sometimes it's here, sometimes it's here, sometimes it's here.
12:30 -Cluster headache. -Oh, my.
12:31 He has a headache for 24 hours.
12:34 I don't know where to get it.
12:36 I have written it down, Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
12:38 I have written Sadaqat Ali Khan over there.
12:40 (ALL LAUGHING)
12:41 -Where will I get it? -No, no, no.
12:43 -This is it, Mr. Sajid. -You have to get it.
12:45 -This is our doctor. You are late. -You have to get it.
12:47 Okay, you won't get these shoes and socks.
12:51 (ALL LAUGHING)
12:53 -Look at the doctor. -Oh, wow.
12:55 -Son. -Yes.
12:56 Son, can you stop breathing for two minutes?
12:57 I am checking.
12:59 (ALL LAUGHING)
13:00 What happened, son?
13:02 -Oh, wow. -What happened?
13:05 It's not a big problem.
13:07 -Actually, his stomach is bloated. -What happened?
13:10 -Why? -I think he ate Parathas with the pan.
13:13 (ALL LAUGHING)
13:14 He has no problem, son.
13:16 -He has made a belt. -Daddy.
13:18 Do it like this.
13:20 Now breathe.
13:21 -Are you feeling better now? -Yes, very much.
13:25 Get up, son. You won't get this much tired.
13:26 Come on.
13:28 (ALL LAUGHING)
13:29 Where is his file, sister?
13:31 Doctor, that is the file of your assistant.
13:34 Where did you keep the file?
13:37 (ALL LAUGHING)
13:40 What work do you want to do here?
13:41 You have a patient.
13:42 I have regular check-ups here.
13:45 Where is his file?
13:46 I don't have it in my mind.
13:48 (ALL LAUGHING)
13:49 Keep it in your mind. What work is this?
13:52 -Your talent is very good. -Yes.
13:54 -He is the assistant. -Yes.
13:56 How did you get here?
13:57 -How did you get here? -We are sitting properly.
14:00 (ALL LAUGHING)
14:02 -Sister. -Yes.
14:03 Your file is here and there. It will come. Come tomorrow.
14:06 -Yes. -It's a routine check-up.
14:07 -Absolutely. -It's not a big deal.
14:08 -I can bear the pain for a day. -Okay.
14:11 -Come. -We will get the check-up done tomorrow.
14:12 -Thank you. -Yes.
14:13 When you come tomorrow, bring the file.
14:15 Where is the file?
14:16 Doctor, it was your assistant's call.
14:18 -You gave the file to him. -I gave you the file.
14:20 (ALL LAUGHING)
14:21 -Gabal. -Get lost.
14:23 I will sit here and give you the clinic.
14:25 You are giving me the file.
14:26 (ALL LAUGHING)
14:27 I have a headache, doctor.
14:30 Come here.
14:32 (ALL LAUGHING)
14:36 -Come here. -Lie down.
14:38 -Come, doctor. -Yes.
14:41 -Dr. Haseeb Shreef Lahi. -Yes.
14:43 -Yes. -Come.
14:44 Who is he?
14:45 Sir, he is Dr. Haseeb.
14:47 He is the biggest neurosurgeon in the city.
14:49 I see.
14:51 I didn't hear his name.
14:52 Sir, he is the one who did the brain transplant
14:55 of half of his head in the rabbit.
14:57 He ate half of the rabbit.
14:59 (ALL LAUGHING)
15:00 Hello, Sajid. How are you?
15:01 Yes, doctor. I am fine.
15:03 What happened to you? You are a doctor.
15:05 Doctor, I have some problem.
15:08 -Some... -Sir, he has a head injury.
15:10 -Yes. -He has a head injury?
15:12 Why are you lying here?
15:13 I checked two patients. I was feeling dizzy.
15:15 (ALL LAUGHING)
15:17 -It's a memory problem. -Yes.
15:18 The injury is the reason.
15:20 -He will be fine now. -Okay.
15:22 Who are you? I didn't recognize you.
15:24 I am a senior doctor here.
15:26 Sir, he is not a senior doctor. He is a patient.
15:29 My in-laws gave me this job.
15:30 (ALL LAUGHING)
15:31 Tell me the truth. Who are you?
15:33 I am a doctor.
15:34 You are not a doctor. Tell me who you are.
15:36 -Remember. -What kind of doctor is he?
15:40 One minute. I don't remember.
15:42 I have a memory problem.
15:48 -Okay. -You are a patient too?
15:50 -Yes. -Sit. I will check you too.
15:52 Okay.
15:53 Sit there.
15:54 -Ramesh. -Yes, sir.
15:59 Take Dr. Sajid's vitals.
16:00 I don't want to give my vitals.
16:03 (ALL LAUGHING)
16:04 I don't want to give.
16:05 -How old are you? -60 years.
16:07 -Do you smoke? -I don't smoke.
16:09 -Blood pressure? -No. I don't have blood pressure.
16:11 -Sugar? -I don't have sugar.
16:13 -Greetings. -Greetings.
16:22 You seem to be a very good and competent doctor.
16:23 You handled the situation as soon as you came.
16:26 Which situation?
16:27 The situation on your right.
16:29 I think it's not a big deal for him.
16:31 What is it?
16:38 What do you want?
16:39 (ALL LAUGHING)
16:41 Doctor, it's been three months. He doesn't let me pay the rent.
16:44 (ALL LAUGHING)
16:45 Doctor, what is your name?
16:48 Dr. Sajidullah Khan.
16:51 (ALL LAUGHING)
16:53 Ladies and gentlemen, a small break.
16:56 You can meet me anywhere after the break.
16:59 I don't find this cabbage to be so fresh.
17:01 Look at it. Can't you see? It's right in front of you.
17:04 -Show me the quality. -You don't know.
17:06 I can't touch the vegetables.
17:08 That's very bad. You can't touch it.
17:10 -Show me. -I can touch it.
17:12 No, no. Don't touch it.
17:13 -Tell me what you want. -Show me two cabbages.
17:17 Why don't you let me touch it?
17:19 You go to the market and ask for the price of your father's father.
17:21 That means you're asking for a slap from your father.
17:24 (ALL LAUGHING)
17:26 Welcome back, viewers. Yes, Irza.
17:32 Mr. Arun, he was standing near the pole with the vegetables.
17:35 No one was buying vegetables from him.
17:37 I was so scared. I brought it inside.
17:39 -You eat it. -It's a good thing that he did.
17:41 He brought you here. No one was buying vegetables there.
17:43 He won't buy here either.
17:45 But what were you doing near the pole?
17:47 I was walking after the Iftar.
17:50 You should have brought a pole and walked.
17:53 (ALL LAUGHING)
17:54 (SINGING)
17:56 You're singing while looking at your own face.
18:02 (SINGING)
18:07 Can't you hear the combination?
18:09 -You're singing along with the potatoes. -You're singing along with the potatoes.
18:11 You're singing along with the bananas and the spinach.
18:13 And you don't sing like this. You sing like this.
18:15 (SINGING)
18:19 If someone keeps singing like this in your lane...
18:23 -Yes. -He'll come out and bring it himself.
18:26 (ALL LAUGHING)
18:27 Sir, the vegetables don't like the fruits.
18:29 You didn't bring it. We'll cook it.
18:30 (ALL LAUGHING)
18:31 But how are you selling vegetables with a punctured cycle?
18:33 I told you, I don't want to sell my face. I want to sell the cycle.
18:36 (ALL LAUGHING)
18:37 -And I'm a man. -Yes.
18:39 -His wife is dead. -How can you say that?
18:41 The one who's sitting below is his child.
18:43 (ALL LAUGHING)
18:45 He's a fool.
18:46 Okay, I want to buy the vegetables. Can I do it?
18:49 You have to go there and say bye.
18:51 Why do you want to buy? Why don't you want to buy?
18:53 I want to buy it.
18:54 Okay, look. The one who wants to pay,
18:57 he can buy the vegetables for you.
18:58 -Call the ARY. -I'll pay for it.
19:01 -Sir, I'll pay. -He's angry.
19:03 (SINGING)
19:09 Sir, buy three bunches of watermelons. They're very tasty.
19:11 Three bunches of watermelons?
19:12 (ALL LAUGHING)
19:14 I don't think it's fresh enough to show you the watermelons.
19:16 Look at it. Can't you see? It's right in front of you.
19:18 -If you show me, I'll show you the quality. -You don't know.
19:21 I can't touch the vegetables.
19:23 That's a good thing. You can't touch it.
19:25 -Show me. -Let me touch it.
19:27 No, no. Don't touch it.
19:28 -Tell me what you want. -Show me the watermelons.
19:31 Why don't you let me touch it?
19:33 Sir, go to the market. A father's father asks for the price.
19:36 That means you're a father to the girl.
19:38 (ALL LAUGHING)
19:40 (ALL APPLAUDING)
19:42 I don't think these are fresh watermelons.
19:44 -Fresh? -Yes.
19:46 -Fresh watermelons? -Yes.
19:48 -Fresh watermelons? -Yes.
19:49 -The ones that are fresh. -Yes.
19:51 It's very simple. Go home and ask your sister
19:54 if she can get you fresh watermelons.
19:55 I want sweet ones. These ones that are not fresh are not sweet.
19:58 First, get the fresh ones.
20:01 (ALL LAUGHING)
20:03 Give me 20 dozen watermelons.
20:05 I'll make fruit chaat for you all.
20:07 You can buy more fruits.
20:08 No, I'll only make fruit chaat with watermelons.
20:11 Okay, give me 20 dozen.
20:13 (ALL LAUGHING)
20:14 Show me the watermelons. Where do you get such small watermelons?
20:17 These are small. I'm making fruit chaat.
20:19 Give me a piece of it.
20:21 -What? -Give me a piece of it.
20:23 I'll give you a piece of it for Rs. 500.
20:27 I'll pay you if it's sweet.
20:29 I'll give you Rs. 500 if it's sweet.
20:31 -Give me a big one. -Don't touch it.
20:33 -It's a God's gift. -Look at the size of the watermelon.
20:36 -Okay. -Don't touch it.
20:38 -It's perfect. -Don't touch it.
20:40 -How much is the onion? -Rs. 700 per kilo.
20:42 Onion for Rs. 700 per kilo?
20:45 I was telling you about saffron.
20:48 Rs. 700 is not much.
20:50 How will I make onion rings?
20:52 You want onion rings?
20:54 You can buy ready-made onion rings from the market.
20:56 (ALL LAUGHING)
20:57 I don't think I can do it.
20:59 -Yes. -I have all the ingredients I need.
21:02 -I'm not buying anything from you. -Go, I don't want anything from you.
21:05 She's treating me like I'm the main artist of the market.
21:09 -Show me the cauliflower. -What?
21:11 -Show me the cauliflower. -Show me the cauliflower.
21:14 Show me the money, I won't show you the cauliflower.
21:15 -This is cauliflower. -Which vegetable is this?
21:18 -I'll show you the vegetable. -This is a vegetable shop.
21:21 -It's a casino. -You don't know anything.
21:23 You can't touch the vegetable. Go to the market.
21:26 They won't give us anything else.
21:27 This vegetable is not to be touched. It's all my vegetable.
21:30 (ALL LAUGHING)
21:31 Let me tell you something.
21:33 I have a job in the fruit market.
21:36 I know they don't let you stand there.
21:38 Which fruit market sells vegetables?
21:40 I have a fruit business.
21:42 -That's Badami. -It's right next to it.
21:45 -You know what? -You can order two trucks of rice
21:48 and three berries.
21:50 But this vegetable shop is different from the fruit shop.
21:54 -Why do you make it a two-in-one? -Yes, I...
21:56 I'll give you all the ingredients in one box and you'll get it.
22:00 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:01 Vegetables will get the fragrance of fruits and fruits will get the fragrance of vegetables.
22:05 You have different fridges. One for fruits and one for vegetables.
22:09 -It's different from the compartments. -Now we have the right man.
22:12 Take potatoes, bananas, cabbage and apples.
22:17 You don't understand anything.
22:20 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:21 You mixed everything.
22:23 You're selling all the junk food.
22:25 You're selling watermelons with cabbage.
22:27 -You'll get a bad name. -What bad name?
22:30 -Cabbage, apples... -What?
22:32 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:34 -Apples... -Give me a hand.
22:37 -Do you know who he is? -Who is he?
22:39 Salim Albela, the smart guy.
22:41 I'm not smart. I watch shows and I do all these things.
22:46 -He's the one. -Who?
22:47 -He is. -What does he do?
22:49 He's a snake that flies.
22:50 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:51 He's a pig that eats grass.
22:53 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:54 Who eats grass when you're eating eggs?
22:57 (ALL LAUGHING)
22:58 -He's... -Give me a hand.
23:00 Are you a seed or a basket?
23:02 (ALL LAUGHING)
23:05 Give me a hand.
23:06 -Do you want to buy vegetables? -Do you have money in your pocket?
23:10 I have money in my pocket.
23:12 (ALL LAUGHING)
23:13 I'll buy it for you.
23:15 You're being unfair. I've never seen you like this.
23:18 We sold everything cheap.
23:20 Now that Ramadan is here, we're not getting ready.
23:23 Why are you getting ready?
23:25 It's Ramadan. You're praying for people.
23:28 It's a costly deal. God forbid.
23:30 Why are you increasing the rates?
23:32 Sir, you're a rich man.
23:34 You don't know how poor people celebrate Eid.
23:37 Where do they buy clothes?
23:39 Where do they buy shoes?
23:41 How do they celebrate Eid?
23:43 Like this.
23:44 (ALL LAUGHING)
23:45 Poor people still can't spend their Eid with a diya.
23:49 They're making their houses look like a ball.
23:52 What's a ball?
23:53 -You don't know, sir. -What?
23:56 When a poor man's house is dancing,
23:59 his children are dancing like crazy.
24:03 -I'm really sorry about that. -Yes.
24:06 How many children do you have?
24:08 Pray for me.
24:09 I'm talking about your brother.
24:12 He should get engaged and that's it.
24:15 (ALL LAUGHING)
24:16 Your children are dancing like crazy.
24:18 -Who? -He left the vegetable basket
24:20 and started a black and white film.
24:22 If you're checking a man's children,
24:24 he'll have a banana in his hand and a yellow angel.
24:27 Tell me, which children are dancing like crazy?
24:30 -You're getting married. -I'm not married.
24:33 (ALL LAUGHING)
24:34 Take something and don't waste time.
24:37 I'll eat here.
24:39 (ALL LAUGHING)
24:41 Eat here. You'll get sold here.
24:43 Give me some stuff.
24:45 My children will have a good iftar tomorrow.
24:46 Give me some bananas, apples and apples.
24:49 Your children are celebrating Eid
24:51 and my children are dancing like crazy.
24:54 Your children are not crazy.
24:57 Your children are not crazy.
24:59 Who is dancing like crazy?
25:00 Not my children.
25:02 -My father is crazy. -He saw it.
25:04 (ALL LAUGHING)
25:06 -He saw it. -My father is crazy.
25:08 He made all the women dance like crazy.
25:11 (ALL LAUGHING)
25:12 Our director took the bananas without paying.
25:16 I'll pay for it. How much is the banana?
25:19 -Yes. -How much?
25:20 750 rupees.
25:21 A banana for 750 rupees?
25:24 -You're dead. -750 rupees.
25:25 I'll slap you.
25:28 This is a banana for 750 rupees?
25:31 It's Ramadan.
25:32 The rates are high during Ramadan.
25:34 Where will we get a share?
25:35 We should give 750 rupees.
25:38 Why?
25:38 The banana is expensive.
25:40 (ALL LAUGHING)
25:41 We should be ashamed.
25:43 Such expensive things.
25:44 We should be ashamed.
25:46 We don't get such things in the markets.
25:48 How many carrots?
25:49 (ALL LAUGHING)
25:51 Take potatoes, bananas and spinach.
25:55 Vegetable vendors are waiting.
25:57 They are waiting like they are going to the top.
26:00 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:01 She is saying that she has a motorcycle and a cycle.
26:03 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:04 -Brother. -Don't touch me.
26:06 How much is the apple?
26:07 Put it in the envelope.
26:09 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:10 How much is the kilo?
26:12 1600 rupees per kilo.
26:13 1600 rupees per kilo of apple?
26:15 1600 rupees?
26:17 She is talking about a tragedy.
26:18 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:20 1600 rupees per kilo of apple?
26:22 What technology is there?
26:23 When your children eat burger for 1600 rupees,
26:27 don't you remember?
26:29 Our children make a lot of noise.
26:33 They also make noise with their daughters.
26:35 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:36 Brother, I remembered your nephews after listening to you.
26:40 My small children don't eat a single bite.
26:44 They sleep hungry.
26:46 Shut up.
26:47 My heart shook after listening to you.
26:50 -This is 1600 rupees. -Yes.
26:52 Go, my sister. Give me a discount of 500 rupees.
26:54 (ALL LAUGHING)
26:56 It's a good thing that you gave a discount of 500 rupees.
26:59 I have never heard of a discount of 500 rupees.
27:01 (ALL LAUGHING)
27:02 -I have given a discount of 500 rupees. -Give me a discount of 500 rupees.
27:06 -Yes. -Give me a discount of 1100 rupees.
27:08 I can't give such a discount for my nephews.
27:10 Brother, you are right. I made you crave for them.
27:12 -A lot. -You give me 500 rupees.
27:14 (ALL LAUGHING)
27:15 How can I give you 500 rupees?
27:17 Our children make a lot of noise with their daughters.
27:19 (ALL LAUGHING)
27:21 (ALL APPLAUDING)
27:22 Listen to me.
27:23 They come every day.
27:24 If we are lucky, we get to eat fruits and vegetables.
27:28 My children will pray for you.
27:30 My daughters say that I have to pull the cart.
27:32 Go and buy from some other shop.
27:35 (ALL LAUGHING)
27:36 You are a variation of Allahuddin.
27:38 (ALL LAUGHING)
27:39 Brother, the whole month is in Ramadan.
27:41 My children will pray for you.
27:43 -You give me a discount. -Don't be a customer.
27:46 Listen to me.
27:47 Let me tell you something else.
27:49 -The vegetables you bought... -Yes.
27:52 -You invested in them. -Yes.
27:54 -You want to take a profit. -Absolutely.
27:56 -You want to multiply it in Ramadan. -Absolutely.
27:58 How much profit are you taking? 200 percent?
28:02 How can I distribute it?
28:03 I guarantee you 70,000 percent profit.
28:07 -Okay. -You reduce the rates in Ramadan.
28:10 -You will get more blessings. -You are right.
28:13 You are giving me 500 rupees.
28:14 I will give you. It's a matter of 500 rupees.
28:16 -I will give you. -Give me.
28:18 -It's very good. -It's very good.
28:19 -Very good. -Very good.
28:21 He is poor but he is generous.
28:23 He is generous. He took 500 rupees.
28:25 Yes.
28:26 You should check it. He is a sick person.
28:29 (ALL LAUGHING)
28:30 Okay, brother. I will distribute the money.
28:33 You can give me 10 rupees.
28:35 (ALL LAUGHING)
28:36 You can give me soap.
28:38 (ALL LAUGHING)
28:39 -No problem. -Thank you.
28:42 My children.
28:44 -Here. -It's not a kilo.
28:47 Don't you want to weigh the envelopes?
28:49 (ALL LAUGHING)
28:50 Where is the weighing machine?
28:51 Sister, we don't use the machine in Ramadan.
28:54 Give it to me.
28:55 (ALL LAUGHING)
28:56 It's 3 apples. It's not even a pound.
28:58 It's a pound and a half.
29:00 Sister, I don't think you will buy it.
29:02 (ALL LAUGHING)
29:05 These apples are never a pound.
29:06 -It's never possible. -How much?
29:07 -How much will it be? -Go and buy it for my sister.
29:09 -It's at least half a kilo. -Yes.
29:12 I will definitely give you blessings when you get married.
29:16 What does it mean?
29:18 Brother, your sister is also talking.
29:21 (ALL LAUGHING)
29:22 She is also talking.
29:24 -What she did to you... -Yes.
29:27 ...will happen to her children.
29:29 (ALL LAUGHING)
29:30 But when I bought a kilo of apples, it was at least 12.
29:34 What happened?
29:36 Then you should have bought those that are in the jar.
29:39 (ALL LAUGHING)
29:40 -This is the end of apples. -Yes.
29:44 -This is the end of it. -Small apples.
29:46 -No. -That's it.
29:48 -You get a crate of 8 kilos. -You heard what she said about apples.
29:52 (ALL LAUGHING)
29:54 We also got a gift once.
29:56 I told her to put a paper on the top and write 'Prali' on it.
30:00 And then write 'Apples'.
30:01 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:03 We got a gift once.
30:06 I gave it to my apple.
30:08 She said, "You are a smart man. You eat such small apples."
30:11 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:13 -Agha, you... -They...
30:14 Those were not apples. They were apple candies.
30:17 -They don't know. -Yes.
30:19 I want them to be educated.
30:21 -Now, we get one bite things. -Yes.
30:23 One bite pastry.
30:24 One bite sandwiches.
30:26 -They were one bite apples. -No, they were one bite.
30:29 They were big.
30:30 The smaller they were, the louder they screamed.
30:33 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:34 You don't know about Agha's bite, right?
30:36 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:37 She came here too. Forget about my bite.
30:40 Agha, she got one bite of melon too.
30:43 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:44 (ALL APPLAUDING)
30:46 -The apples Haroon gave us were delicious. -Yes.
30:50 -Thank you, buddy. Thank you. -If you cut a nice apple...
30:53 ...and keep it here...
30:54 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:56 ...it will give you the juice of an apple.
30:58 (ALL LAUGHING)
30:59 -If you have a house... -I have brought potatoes and bananas.
31:02 Wait a minute.
31:03 How dare you? You have been here for months.
31:06 What is the rate of vegetables you have brought?
31:07 The vegetables I have brought...
31:09 ...are worth Rs. 800 per kilo.
31:11 -What is the rate of spinach? -Rs. 800.
31:13 Do you know what that is?
31:14 (ALL LAUGHING)
31:15 Rs. 800. What is this?
31:17 This is a six-month old melon.
31:18 Brother, melon...
31:19 ...is a very expensive vegetable.
31:21 We sell it during Ramadan too.
31:24 -Don't be silly. -We don't need to be silly.
31:26 The vendors don't make us silly.
31:28 This is absolutely right.
31:29 -Let's tell him to reduce the rates. -Listen to me.
31:32 -Do you fast? -Yes, I do.
31:34 God is not interested in you being hungry.
31:36 He wants to teach you.
31:38 What does fasting teach you?
31:39 It teaches you to tolerate it.
31:41 Then you should tolerate it too.
31:43 Help people during this month.
31:46 You will earn a lot.
31:47 This poor man is here.
31:49 Give him whatever he wants at a low rate.
31:51 Take double. They give double or triple rates.
31:53 -Give him. -This is too much.
31:54 Give him the right rates.
31:55 Don't push me. Give me double.
31:58 -Okay. -Listen to me.
32:00 -I am telling you to give me 2 kilos of potatoes. -Listen to me.
32:02 -You have to sell the vegetables. -Yes.
32:04 -This is your business. -Yes.
32:06 If you change your intention, it's a good deed.
32:10 If you don't change it, you will get four paise.
32:12 -It's not a good deed. -Yes.
32:13 This is how we do it during Ramadan.
32:15 We give vegetables to people behind us.
32:17 -Yes. -We give vegetables to them.
32:19 If you are given vegetables from behind,
32:20 you will be ahead of everyone.
32:22 Listen to me.
32:26 Pack the potatoes.
32:27 Give me this much potatoes.
32:29 Okay. Take it.
32:30 -Check the rates. -You are not listening to me.
32:33 I will never reduce the rates if you don't push me.
32:35 -I am telling you to reduce the rates. -Very good.
32:38 -God has blessed us. -Yes.
32:40 -He has blessed us. -Yes.
32:41 We earn profit all our lives.
32:43 Yes, brother. Hello.
32:45 Yes.
32:47 Where is this?
32:48 Come to the black market.
32:51 -Okay. -What?
32:52 Come to the black market.
32:54 How many people are there?
32:56 450.
32:58 Okay.
33:00 450 plates. A plate costs 570.
33:03 What is a plate worth 570?
33:05 Fruit chaat.
33:06 -Fruit chaat? -Oh!
33:08 Oh my God!
33:09 One is a cheap seller and the other is a cheap seller.
33:11 Don't spoil my name.
33:12 -Yes, brother. -Disconnect the call.
33:14 Don't you dare give him cheap vegetables.
33:15 This is a plate worth 150.
33:17 It's the month of Ramadan.
33:18 Your children are so cheap.
33:20 Ladies and gentlemen, a short break.
33:25 Don't go anywhere. See you after the break.
33:27 We have to make this barren land a gulshan.
33:29 Where do we have to bury this cow?
33:31 -Let him bury it. -Yes.
33:35 We have to make this barren land a gulshan.
33:37 Do whatever you want. The cow won't bathe.
33:39 We have to make this barren land a gulshan.
33:43 Do whatever you want. The boy will get the credit.
33:45 Hoshi aariya!
33:53 Hoshi aariya! Hoshi aariya! Hoshi aariya!
33:59 Oh, prince!
34:02 Oh, prince!
34:05 Now, the lion.
34:08 Ladies and gentlemen, you are back on the show.
34:16 What welcome back can I give you after such a great welcome?
34:18 So, we have joined us during the break.
34:20 Dr. Tahir Shaheer.
34:21 -Mashallah. -Mashallah.
34:22 -How are you, doctor? -I am fine.
34:24 In his absence, when he was not here,
34:27 I wrote a poem which I will now...
34:29 -Didn't you write a poem? -No, I wrote a poem.
34:32 -Poem. -Poem.
34:33 -She wrote a poem. -I wrote a few words.
34:35 -And I want to recite them. -Yes.
34:37 -Wow! -Wow!
34:38 -May I? -Wow!
34:40 Doctor, please pick up the misra.
34:44 Waste it.
34:46 -Please give it. -Without me, how are you?
34:50 -Wow! -Wow!
34:53 -Without me, how are you? -How many questions did the deceased ask?
34:56 Oh, my God!
34:59 Without me, how are you?
35:01 -Tell me. -Wow!
35:04 If life is not beautiful,
35:07 -then get stuck with me. -Wow!
35:09 Wow!
35:11 -And please pay attention. -Yes.
35:16 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
35:19 -Wow! -Wow!
35:20 -If you want to make barren land beautiful, -Wow!
35:23 Sell everything and buy a tractor.
35:28 -Very nice. -Wow!
35:30 She is the one who will pick up the misra.
35:35 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
35:37 Get two kilos of smoke in the evening.
35:39 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
35:43 Where do I put this?
35:45 -Let him put it. -Yes.
35:48 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
35:51 Do whatever you want, but don't bathe the cows.
35:53 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
35:56 Do whatever you want, but don't bathe the cows.
35:59 Hey!
36:01 Why?
36:02 And the audience will turn into enmity.
36:05 -Wow! -Wow!
36:06 Arzu is so cute today.
36:09 -Wow! -Wow!
36:10 She is looking so cute today.
36:12 -Wow! -Wow!
36:13 Obviously, a person looks cute in new clothes.
36:16 -Give it. -If you want to make barren land beautiful,
36:20 The doctor will not come out of the jungle.
36:23 Wow!
36:24 -Very nice. -Very nice.
36:26 You said to pick up the misra, you forgot.
36:28 I will pick up the misra.
36:29 If you want to make barren land beautiful,
36:34 Be an old woman and sit on my heart.
36:37 Wow!
36:39 -I.. -She has made it so nice.
36:41 I will stop all your tears.
36:44 -Wow! -Wow!
36:46 I will also talk about you.
36:48 I will stop all your tears,
36:52 Just once, by looking at me and laughing.
36:55 -Wow! -Wow!
36:57 Wow!
36:58 -Yes, doctor. -Firstly,
37:02 -I.. -Not mine.
37:04 I have no intention.
37:07 -I have no intention. -I have no intention.
37:09 How will you do poetry?
37:11 I have no intention,
37:15 To do fasting.
37:17 Wow!
37:18 -Wow! -And I met Ronda yesterday.
37:21 -Yes. -She eats more than Easy Lord.
37:23 Wow!
37:25 And now I feel like a grandfather,
37:28 Who was a deceased prince.
37:29 Wow!
37:31 You are Amitabh, I am your Jiah Prada.
37:36 Wow!
37:37 -Sir. -Very nice.
37:39 Sir, what is this Jiah Prada?
37:40 It's not Prada, it's Prada.
37:42 I like Prada a lot.
37:44 Leave it, Irza. Why do you think of things
37:46 Which you can't get?
37:47 You are not understanding.
37:48 It's not Prada worn on hair.
37:50 -Okay. -Prada.
37:52 Prada comes from Farada.
37:54 Doctor, what did you bring today?
37:56 There is a poem about Ramzan.
37:59 On a thing worth 30,
38:01 I earn 100-200.
38:03 -Wow! -Wow!
38:04 It's not about his wealth.
38:07 -It's about Mr. Murad. -Yes.
38:08 Wow! Otherwise, he would have been so happy.
38:10 -He would have been happy. -Wow!
38:12 On a thing worth 30, I earn 100-200.
38:15 I spend 10-20 in seven charities.
38:18 Wow!
38:19 I didn't give the food to the fasting people.
38:22 Wow!
38:23 I didn't give the food to the fasting people.
38:26 All the people I searched for,
38:28 They were eating and going.
38:30 Wow!
38:31 Very nice.
38:32 Very nice.
38:33 Wow!
38:34 All the people I searched for,
38:35 They were eating and going.
38:38 And I,
38:39 Had I been less sad because of the breakup.
38:42 Wow!
38:43 Had I been less sad because of the breakup.
38:46 I would have been fasting.
38:49 Wow!
38:51 Wow!
38:53 Very nice.
38:55 And the devil said,
38:57 I am in prison for a month.
39:00 Wow!
39:01 The devil said,
39:02 I am in prison for a month.
39:05 You will do what he used to teach me.
39:08 Wow!
39:09 Wow!
39:11 You will do what he used to teach me.
39:14 And we have seen,
39:15 Many good qualities in mosques.
39:17 Wow!
39:19 We have seen,
39:21 Many good qualities in mosques,
39:23 Who wear new shoes while going.
39:26 Wow!
39:28 Wow!
39:30 Very nice.
39:31 Wow!
39:32 Very nice.
39:34 We have seen many good qualities in mosques,
39:37 Who wear new shoes while going.
39:40 And don't ask about the government offices in the month of Ramadan.
39:44 Wow!
39:46 And don't ask about the government offices in the month of Ramadan.
39:49 They come after the fast.
39:51 They keep on telling.
39:52 Wow!
39:53 And they come and go in the college.
39:56 Wow!
39:58 Wow!
39:59 They come and go in the college.
40:04 They come and go to apply the 'Hazri' (the holy thread)
40:06 Wow!
40:08 They come and go to apply the 'Hazri' (the holy thread)
40:14 And Sheikh Sahib kept the invitation of the 'Aftar'.
40:17 Wow!
40:20 Sheikh Sahib kept the invitation of the 'Aftar'.
40:23 Everyone knows that he keeps on writing about the mosque.
40:27 And the last couplet is,
40:29 It was better than the complaint of sleeping at night.
40:33 Wow!
40:36 It was better than the complaint of sleeping at night.
40:40 Someone used to play the pipa of his share.
40:42 Wow!
40:43 Wow!
40:44 Very good!
40:46 Wow!
40:47 He has made Mr. Agha cry in the Ghazal.
40:51 Why did Mr. Agha cry?
40:53 He has eaten the pipa.
40:54 Why do you give me the bad words?
40:56 The couplet is,
40:58 We have invited you with great difficulty.
41:02 There is a little bit of Zarda left.
41:04 You can eat it.
41:06 And the same couplet has been done by the government.
41:09 People are sitting and getting up on the recording.
41:12 I say, before going to take a bath.
41:15 A little bit.
41:16 Yesterday, I told Abed that his enemies have kicked him.
41:21 Okay.
41:21 He didn't recognize.
41:22 He said, when does the 'Masakhi' come?
41:26 Often, when the doctor comes,
41:27 the audience is full of poets.
41:30 The audience is very hyped up.
41:32 Let's go to the audience and see how they will surprise us.
41:36 Who is the first one?
41:37 Greetings.
41:38 Greetings.
41:39 My name is Abeer.
41:41 I want to recite a couplet.
41:42 Wow.
41:43 What do you do?
41:45 I am an ICS student.
41:46 Very good.
41:47 Recite a couplet.
41:48 The one who falls in love, how will she sleep?
41:51 Wow.
41:53 Sometimes she will smile, sometimes she will do the 'Takiya'.
41:56 Oh.
41:57 And you are very naive.
41:58 Try to understand.
41:59 The one who hugs and cries, how much will she cry?
42:02 Wow.
42:04 Wow.
42:06 Oh my God.
42:07 She has made a mess.
42:08 Oh my God.
42:11 Next.
42:12 Greetings.
42:13 Greetings.
42:14 My name is Aisha Atif.
42:15 Yes.
42:16 I want to recite a couplet.
42:18 Recite it.
42:18 Put the mic closer.
42:20 I agree that we don't talk with respect.
42:22 But I agree that we don't talk with meaning.
42:25 This is a sweet and sweet tone for you.
42:28 This is a sweet and sweet tone for you.
42:31 We don't talk to everyone in this tone.
42:33 Wow.
42:36 This is amazing.
42:37 Wow.
42:39 Wow.
42:40 One good thing is that our new generation is going in the right direction.
42:43 Yes.
42:45 Greetings.
42:46 Greetings.
42:46 My name is Ridha Aamir.
42:48 Yes.
42:48 I want to recite a couplet.
42:49 Wow.
42:51 Let life be in solitude.
42:54 Let life be in solitude.
42:56 Okay.
42:57 Let these thoughts of loyalty be in your thoughts.
43:00 Wow.
43:01 The truth is that hearts often break due to trials.
43:05 Okay.
43:05 The truth is that hearts often break due to trials.
43:09 Please let me sleep after the Iftari.
43:11 This is..
43:13 Let friendship and love remain in books.
43:17 Wow.
43:20 This was a proper couplet.
43:21 Good.
43:22 Don't judge.
43:24 No one is yours to judge.
43:26 Wow.
43:27 Don't judge.
43:28 No one is yours to judge.
43:31 No one is yours to judge.
43:34 No one is yours to judge.
43:35 Keep a proper distance from elders.
43:39 Okay.
43:40 A sea is not a sea if it is not from the sea.
43:42 It doesn't stay.
43:43 Wow.
43:44 Viewers, this was today's show.
43:47 We will meet you in the next show.
43:49 Take care.
43:51 Goodbye.
43:52 "Be careful."