The Dudley Do-Right Show The Dudley Do-Right Show S04 E003 – The Inspector’s Nephew
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00:00♪
00:14The Royal Canadian Mounties had not had a visitor for some time, and Inspector Fenwick was rather lonesome, and then a letter came announcing...
00:20The arrival of my nephew Melvin, a cute eight-and-a-half-year-old. They say he's a spitting image of me.
00:26Durite, I want you to take care of the youngster. He's due to arrive on the twelve-oh-two.
00:30But Inspector, aren't there more important things for me to do than play nursemaid to some whining kid?
00:34Attention, Durite! You must remember that my nephew is a Fenwick. Fenwicks do not whine.
00:41If I ever see you use that expression again, I'm going to drum you out of the forth!
00:46Yes, sir, Inspector Fenwick.
00:49Homer, I have finally decided that the only way to beat the Mounties is to bore from within.
00:54By that I mean we will have to plant someone within the RCMP camp who will, with the nerves of steel and keen perseverance, do away with Inspector Fenwick.
01:03But Snidely, they'll recognize me.
01:05No, Homer, I wasn't thinking of you. The man I have in mind is Nasty Noogle.
01:09Oh, no, Snidely, not Nasty Noogle.
01:11Yes, Homer, things have gone too far. It's time for Nasty Noogle. We've got to get him into the Mounties.
01:15There's only one problem. Nasty Noogle is only three feet tall, and you know the requirements of the Mounties.
01:20I sublue. Hart, that's true. Snidely, Noogle's nasty.
01:23Of course he's nasty, but that won't keep him from getting into the Mounties. It's his height.
01:27They won't accept anyone under five feet ten inches tall, but I'll think of something. Anyway, Noogle's due on the twelve-oh-two.
01:34Oh-oh, the jig's up. Dudley's here. If he sees Noogle, he'll catch on to the whole thing.
01:42Melvin, I am Dudley Doolight, come to take you to camp. What's the matter? Oh, you don't have a balloon. Well, here.
01:49What do you make of that, Homer?
01:51Here he is, Inspector, your little nephew, Melvin.
01:54This is my nephew? I mean, this is my nephew, my wife's side of the family. Well, well, well, how's my little man?
02:02I didn't do nothin'.
02:03Dudley, you know the regulations. The smoking lamp is out.
02:06It's those bad habits he's picked up in the East, Inspector. Here, Melvin, give me the nasty old cigar.
02:13Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.
02:17Now, Melvin, you know you have to eat your spinach to grow up to be a big man like Dudley.
02:22I've eaten so much spinach, if you sprinkled me with water, I'd rust.
02:26Precocious little rascal, aren't you? Oh-oh, time for a Betty-bye, seven-thirty.
02:31Betty-bye? Oh, you're gonna get yours.
02:36Back in bed, you naughty boy.
02:38Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.
02:42Oh, a ball. You want to play catch? Here, throw it to me.
02:48Boy, what an arm that lad has.
02:51Oh, you want to play cops and robbers? Bang, bang, bang, I got you.
02:55No, you didn't.
02:57Now, Dudley, you see, it isn't so bad taking care of little Melvin, is it?
03:01I wouldn't let him play with axes, though.
03:03Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.
03:07Oh, yeah, Dudley, can I use your razor?
03:09I told you, Melvin, no more bombs, revolvers, axes or razors.
03:12But I gotta take a shave.
03:14Nonsense, eight-and-a-half-year-old boys don't shave.
03:16As time passed, Noogle's beard grew.
03:18And Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.
03:23There's something strange about Melvin.
03:25He has a beard.
03:26Eight-and-a-half-year-old boys don't have beards.
03:28Ergo, he is not an eight-and-a-half-year-old boy.
03:31You mean, Dudley...
03:32That your nephew is a forty-year-old man.
03:34Then that means that I'm ninety-seven years old, Dudley.
03:37A ninety-seven-year-old man.
03:40Can I help you back to your office, Inspector?
03:42Wait.
03:43Dudley, that's not my nephew, Melvin.
03:46That's my nephew, Melvin.
03:48Hello, Melvin.
03:49Hello, Uncle Fenwick, and goodbye.
03:51Goodbye, Melvin.
03:52My vacation's over, Uncle Fenwick.
03:54I must return home now, but don't think it hasn't been fun.
03:57Well, say hello to your mother for me.
04:00Nicely.
04:01Oh, I forgot to tell you, Inspector, this wanted poster came in about a month ago.
04:04It says, be on the lookout for a man called Nasty Noogle.
04:07Anything unusual about his description?
04:09Well, he smokes cigars, carries an axe, a revolver and a bomb.
04:12Oh, and he's three feet tall.
04:14You know, the usual description.
04:16Just another face in the crowd, eh, Dudley?
04:46Oh, and he's three feet tall.
04:47You know, the usual description.