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00:00billboards, old homesteads, and road quality, how Alabamians give directions.
00:05Plugging coordinates into a GPS system is a nice perk. Plotting out a route through an online
00:10mapping service is good, but they pale in comparison to asking an Alabama native how
00:15to get to the nearest Walmart. The safest bet is to find an individual local, a cashier,
00:21a gas station attendant, a waitress. If two or more are gathered together, none of them will
00:27agree on the best way to get there. Thank them kindly and walk back briskly.
00:32A certain personal injury attorney is on a mission to install one of his billboards
00:37every mile on the mile. I won't say his name, but he wants you to call him Alabama.
00:43My favorite way of giving directions is to tell drivers how many of his signs they'll pass on the
00:48way, including the ones he's deliberately hung upside down to match the orientation of accident
00:54victims. Other popular choices are obscure references to obscure landmarks. You take
01:00a right at the old Wilson place and then a hard left where the Piggly Wiggly used to be.
01:05Someone once told me to take the first good-looking blacktop road.
01:10As they say, if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.