Episode 11 of 13 of Series 2 (titled The Heart of Country & Western). In this episode, Diana enters the family into a Country & Western Music Festival, and Penelope is frozen with stage fright, mortified she will embarrass herself. She desperately wants the opal as security, but she no longer possesses it. What can she do?
Starring Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Sandy Winton, Glenn Meldrum, Monica Monaghan, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Bobbi Henry, Petra Yared, Jacinta Stapleton and Marie-Louise Walker.
Starring Alexandra Milman, Anna Galvin, Sandy Winton, Glenn Meldrum, Monica Monaghan, Mark Mitchell, Fletcher Humphrys, Bobbi Henry, Petra Yared, Jacinta Stapleton and Marie-Louise Walker.
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TVTranscript
00:00I can really understand Jane Eyre because she's so much like me.
00:05She's got brown hair, like me,
00:07and she wears pastel lemons and blues, which are my favourite colours too.
00:11Jane Eyre is a fictitious character.
00:13It's book review day today, and I'm next.
00:15Not that I'm nervous or anything.
00:17I don't find getting up in front of everybody and speaking difficult at all.
00:20Really, I'm completely and utterly confident.
00:26Are you nervous or something?
00:28It's like a sauna in there.
00:30Nervous? Don't be ridiculous.
00:32I've got the opal if I need it.
00:34What are you doing there?
00:36Oh, just standing by for a wish.
00:38If Jane Eyre were alive today,
00:40I think I can safely say she'd be a size 8, like me,
00:44and she'd probably be wearing Versace and be into hip-hop, just like me.
00:48Thank you.
00:50Thank you, Miss Huntley.
00:52That was a very personal look at a great novel.
00:55Now, Penelope Townes will speak to us about Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist.
01:03Miss Types.
01:05I wish I was out of here.
01:13I said out of here, not out back.
01:16Anyway, I don't need to give a speech to prove I know everything about Charles Darwin.
01:21Charles Dickens.
01:23Oh, Mummy, I'm sorry. I can explain everything.
01:27No, Penelope, I've finally decided.
01:29Charles Dickens was right when he said,
01:31I won't run from life's challenges.
01:33But face them head on.
01:35Exactly. And I'm going to be that sort of person.
01:38Useful, creative.
01:40I feel ready to embrace life again.
01:43Nigel was a setback.
01:45We were going to be married, but he decided to join the monastery instead.
01:48Doesn't bother me any more.
01:50I'm not on the rebound, I'm reborn.
01:53And if love ever comes my way again, I'm going to grab it with both hands.
01:58Good for you, my lady.
02:02Good to see a public speaking problem doesn't run in the family.
02:21G'day, Dodie. G'day, everybody.
02:24I want to introduce you to Hank and Marge,
02:27Homer and Nance, Walt and Mary Lou Lee.
02:30They're the judges for the Townsville Country and Western Music Talent Quest.
02:34I'm just showing them a bit of the country I call home.
02:37The country I like to roam.
02:39How y'all doing? I'm Hank the Yank.
02:43You've got a great country here, too.
02:45Of course, your outback ain't near as big as ours back home.
02:48What the heck?
02:50You know, honey, I could not agree with you more.
02:52I love this country, but if you notice the sun,
02:55it is not as big as the one we got in America.
02:57Look, if you folks just want to relax,
02:59I'll get you to the campsite real soon, OK?
03:02See y'all later now. Bye-bye.
03:04So, Penn, you know, you can come watch me play at the Country Music Fest?
03:08What do you play?
03:10Bass, a bit of vocals, you know.
03:12The Townsville Country and Western Music Festival.
03:15You'd be a mug to miss it.
03:17Oh, my lady.
03:20I love Country and Western.
03:23Well, you just happen to be looking at the winners
03:25of the talent quest for the last three years running.
03:27Hate to see the losers.
03:28Who was the winner?
03:32Well, we were, darl.
03:34I did the singing, I did the playing and I wrote the song.
03:38Eh, but I filled in the entry form.
03:41Oh, my lady, we've got to go.
03:44Well, I don't know much about Country and Western.
03:47What do you think, Penelope?
03:49I think it's the worst idea I've ever heard.
03:51Come on, think of Charles Dickens.
03:53Does he like Country and Western?
03:55Oh, yes, for sure. Yes, sirree, Bobby would have.
03:58It's about everything that really matters,
04:01like heartache, divorce, cheating and drugs.
04:07CHEERING
04:10Yes!
04:12All right, you give it a go, Pen.
04:14You seem to have an all right voice.
04:16You've got to be joking.
04:17If I had to get up in front of an audience,
04:19I'd just keel over and faint.
04:21Wicked, that could be part of the act.
04:23Oh, go on, let me.
04:25Look, I just want to sing with you.
04:27I'm busting with emotion.
04:29It's busting out of me all over.
04:31I'm full of it.
04:32It's oozing out of me every pore.
04:34God, I know.
04:37Listen, if we won the competition,
04:39think of how good it'd be for our clients.
04:41We'd be sitting around the campfire.
04:43We'd be singing.
04:44It'd be so good for business.
04:46Business is bad enough already.
04:48If you don't let me sing with you,
04:50I'm just going to rack off and leave you with a company debt.
04:52That is so low.
04:54I know.
04:55All right, then, I'll sing with you.
04:57But you'll regret it.
05:00Ha, ha, ha.
05:02Like a day at the rodeo
05:06You shake me up
05:08Uncle Otto.
05:10I've got the perfect plan, and check this.
05:12We get Penelope up on stage,
05:13so when she faints, we get in there and grab that opal.
05:15What do you think?
05:16How do we get her on stage in the first place?
05:18We'll ask her to join my band.
05:20That's a stupid idea.
05:22A, she's not an idiot.
05:23B, she's not deaf.
05:26A pretty lady
05:28Come and sit by me
05:34I've got a diesel engine and my very own CB.
05:38So ten-four, good buddy.
05:41Don't be in no hurry if you're pulling out next to me.
05:44That is so beautiful, my lady.
05:47I can't believe you wrote that.
05:49Neither can I. I'm astounded.
05:51It just came bursting out of me.
05:53It's like something out of Alien.
05:55I'm so excited about this whole C&W phenomenon.
05:58I feel so inspired.
06:00I love the catchy tunes, the symbolism, the trucks.
06:03I'm so excited that I've entered us in the talent quest.
06:08You can be the singer, Pen.
06:10What a great idea.
06:12Fantastic.
06:13No, impossible. I can't sing.
06:15Oh, yes, you can.
06:16We heard you in the shower.
06:18Oh, be a sport, Penelope.
06:20No, I couldn't sing in front of people.
06:23Well, maybe I'll have to do the singing.
06:29I wish you'd come up with something else.
06:32I've always wanted a banjo.
06:37Bruce!
06:39It's like all my dreams come true.
06:44Frankie and Johnny were lovers
06:47Oh, Lord, you heard they each love
06:50When on the road in their truck they rode
06:54Free as a turtle dove
07:06Bruce?
07:07Baz, are you in there?
07:18Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
07:22With 18 wheels on his rig
07:25And I was just a spare tyre, love
07:30Cos he's a jaded trucker
07:40Oh.
07:42Oh, I must remember to give that back.
07:45You've rubbed the opal in your hair
07:47And you're every wish is our command.
07:49You're such jokers.
07:50Come on, I've got to do the washing.
07:54Oh.
07:56I wish that washing was done.
08:03Well, I'll be doggoned.
08:10Where did I put the opal?
08:15Oh.
08:21Oh, Miss Penelope, you've got such a lovely voice.
08:25I really do wish you'd sing with us.
08:27No, Mossy.
08:29I'd love to.
08:31Oh, bless you, Miss Penelope.
08:33You make us all so very happy.
08:36Mossy, have you got...
08:37We're going to rehearse tomorrow
08:39and I'm sure your mother would want you to get a good night's sleep.
08:43My opal, have you...
08:44It would be my wish to.
08:48Oh, excuse me, Mossy, I must go to bed.
08:51I'll see you in the morning.
08:55You have a good sleep and rest your vocal cords.
08:59Night, Ben.
09:15Oh.
09:28It's so beautiful.
09:30It's just a little something we've been working on.
09:33Let's do it.
09:35You ready, Miss Penelope?
09:37You've got such a lovely voice.
09:39I wish you'd brighten up a bit, darling.
09:41Yes, so do I.
09:45Mossy, have you found my opal?
09:47Oh, the opal. I'll look for it later on.
09:49Let's rock.
09:51And a-one and two...
09:55Bass.
09:58Sorry.
10:01And a-one and two and a-one, two, three.
10:15Mossy.
10:20When do you come in?
10:22I know. I need to smile more.
10:25Mossy, you need to look for my opal.
10:27The opal's not that important, Miss Penelope.
10:29I wish you'd stop going on about it.
10:31No, Mossy, please.
10:34Let's try again.
10:37Being creative's so invigorating.
10:40And one and two...
10:44And a-one and two...
11:15I think I'm getting it now.
11:17Mossy. Mossy.
11:19Don't you wish you could play that banjo?
11:21You don't get to be a good musician by wishing for it.
11:24It's practice that makes perfect.
11:26Mossy, I don't mean to go on about it
11:28or make a fuss or anything,
11:30and I hate to interrupt your banjo practice,
11:32but I was wondering whether you could look for my opal.
11:35Oh, dear.
11:37Oh, dear.
11:39Oh, dear.
11:41Oh, dear.
11:43I was wondering whether you could look for my opal.
11:45Penelope! Stop pestering Mossy about that silly opal.
11:48Don't you see she's carrying a heavy load and she needs our support.
11:52Now, come on, everyone.
11:54So... A-one and...
11:57Baz. Baz...
11:59Baz, it's three, mate.
12:01All right? Just watch, mate.
12:03One, a-two, a-one, two, three.
12:13Sorry. I was just driving my own rig off the main track.
12:39Okay, everyone. Let's concentrate now.
12:42Yes. Let's really try for that country feel.
12:46Just playing the right notes will be a good start.
12:49Come on, darling. We don't need that down-vibe thing. You know what I mean.
12:53We've got to drive our own rig.
12:56But we're all moving down the same highway and we've got to travel together.
13:01I don't want to be a truck driver.
13:03Of course you do, darling.
13:06Just imagine. There you are, taking charge of your own rig
13:11in front of hundreds and thousands of people.
13:15Mummy. Oh, darling.
13:18Oh, Lucy.
13:20Lucy.
13:35Ben and her band are just the worst.
13:39Yeah.
13:41So we're going to get her up on stage, we'll grab the opal
13:44and we'll win the competition. What a pearler.
13:47We're going to win the competition, not when my band's playing.
13:51Well, after Darlene and I reduce them to tears,
13:54they'll probably want a bit of comic relief.
14:01Why don't you give us a preview?
14:03You're right. Hold on to your hat.
14:05You ready, Darl? One, two.
14:10And the rodeo
14:12You shake me up
14:16When we play on in the mayo
14:20Like a newborn pearl
14:29Um, excuse me, I've got to go and rehearse with the boys.
14:35Listen, Darlene, what are you playing at?
14:37You understand the lyrics, don't you?
14:39The song's about me. You are singing to me.
14:41I am that newborn pup.
14:43Yeah. Oh, no, mate, the lyrics, they go like this.
14:45It's, um...
14:47Cock there's kangaroo and a cockatoo too
14:50They were out of luck, hit by an alien truck
14:53Pretty good, eh, mate?
14:55We could still win this.
15:01Darlene, matey.
15:03Howdy, doody.
15:06Look at you, eh? Moo, moo.
15:10I'll see you all later.
15:12I've got to take them Americans to the show.
15:14I want them judges to be nice and comfy and get there good and early.
15:18OK? Catch you later.
15:24You see, Mummy, it's rigged.
15:26We haven't got a chance of winning.
15:28I should have stuck to Charles Dickens.
15:30It doesn't matter whether you win or lose.
15:32It's how you handle your load that counts.
15:34Pen's rig just ran off the road.
15:36Yeah, she's looking a bit car sick.
15:38Everybody ready to hold down?
15:44Oh, Mossy!
15:48This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
15:52And you all look just perfect. I'm so happy.
15:56You're going to steal the show, Mossy.
15:58Oh, Miss Penelope, I've got your opal.
16:01I thought you might like to wear it as a good luck charm.
16:04Oh, Mossy! I'm saved!
16:13No. Absolutely.
16:19I'll get it.
16:23Hello? Yes.
16:25What?
16:27Oh, no.
16:29Oh, no.
16:31Oh, don't break my heart.
16:34My achy, breaky heart.
16:38What?
16:40There's a mighty big ring of fire
16:43and it burned down the Townsville Hall.
16:47The talent quest is cancelled.
16:51I can't believe it.
16:54I'm down and broken-hearted and blue as blue can be.
16:59Oh, well, there's always next year.
17:03I've been reading this fabulous book by Charles Dickinson.
17:07And I was just getting it not perfect.
17:10It's useless, me trying to do anything useful or creative.
17:14I'm a nothing, a nobody, lower than a snake's belly.
17:18Mossy was getting those three notes working.
17:20Baz was coming in on time, and Pen...
17:24Wow, Pen was singing like a bell.
17:27Gee, Diana and me were getting something happening.
17:30Oh, well, nothing we can do.
17:34Trucks just run out of gas.
17:36All I ever wanted was to play like the wind.
17:40Oh, if it wasn't too late, if we hadn't run out of gas, I mean...
17:46I wish they'd change their mind.
17:49PHONE RINGS
17:54Hello? Yes.
17:57What? Oh, yes!
18:00Well, bless your cotton-pickin' heart!
18:03It's on again!
18:06They've found another venue! Isn't that amazing?
18:10Don't be silly.
18:12Don't be silly.
18:38Smile for the judges, darling.
18:43Yeah!
18:46You've got to give these guys credit.
18:49I never heard music this mad back in the States.
18:59See, Pen, you've got nothing to worry about.
19:07G'day, Knackers.
19:10OK.
19:12Trevor, thanks, man.
19:18Like the saddle on my saddle
19:21Like the saddle on my horse
19:23You're so comfy and cosy
19:26Like the moonshine in my glass
19:29You make me feel so rosy
19:32Like a day-o at the rodeo
19:36You shake me up
19:39And when we play-o in the hay-o
19:43You make my cup run over
19:47Yeah, it's runnin' over
19:50Oh, yeah, it's runnin' over
19:54Yeah, it's runnin' over
19:57And over and over
20:01Oh, yeah, it's runnin' over
20:05Oh, yeah, it's runnin' over
20:08Yeah, it's runnin' over
20:11With joy
20:23How about that, folks? How about that?
20:26Let's give them a nice hand as they leave the stage.
20:31How about that?
20:32Now, they wasn't half bad, was they?
20:34Well, one of them was half bad, but the other one was half good.
20:37You're our next one, I believe.
20:38A lot of people out there.
20:39Not feeling nervous, are you?
20:41No, no, I'm not nervous. I'm completely calm.
20:43You couldn't be.
20:44You wouldn't.
20:45Good luck, darling. I'm so proud of you.
20:48Come on, we're on.
20:50Next, come on. Make it more, dear.
20:53Stage fright's a terrible thing.
20:55I make a grown man weep.
20:56Okay, cowboys and cowgirls.
20:58Our next contestant's the Town Family Band
21:02with an original composition, Fast Truckin' Ladies.
21:06Now, y'all make them feel welcome, would ya?
21:08Come on.
21:13You get all weak at the knees.
21:15You want to throw up all over the stage, all over the audience.
21:21You're not feeling fine, are you?
21:22Do you want us to catch up?
21:26I know exactly what stage fright feels like.
21:30I wish you could both feel it right now.
21:36Look at that!
21:54Too late to turn back now.
21:57Oh, you wouldn't. Not now.
22:06One, two, and one, two, three.
22:36I hope you're pullin' up next to me
22:39Fast truckin' lady
22:42I'm gettin' lonesome on my highway
22:45But if you shift my gears
22:47Don't bring me to tears
22:49Take a drive down my lane
22:52I'm gettin' lonesome on my highway
22:55But if you shift my gears
22:58Don't bring me to tears
23:01Take a drive down my lane
23:04I'm gettin' lonesome on my highway
23:07But if you shift my gears
23:10Don't bring me to tears
23:13Take a drive down my lane
23:23Wow. I wish Marcy and Sophie could see this.
23:26Sure thing, Ben.
23:28Has no one finished their assignment on American Influ...
23:31It's an EP.
23:32Oh.
23:33One and two and one, two, three.
23:38Fast truckin' lady
23:40I'm gettin' lonesome on my highway
23:43But if you shift my gears
23:45Don't bring me to tears
23:47Take a drive down my lane
23:51Sometimes there's a block on the track
23:53But it's only your fear holdin' you back
23:55You can make it big
23:57Just believe in your rig
23:59Fast truckin' lady
24:02I'm gettin' lonesome on my highway
24:05But if you shift my gears
24:07Don't bring me to tears
24:08Take a drive down my lane