107.On The Buses.The darts match
Following an argument over the use of the staff darts board Stan and Jack are challenged to a match by his old flame Iris and her friend. Stan tries to practice but drops his darts into Olive's stew and has trouble adjusting to his new set, ultimately - thanks also to Iris's wiles - losing the match. He is replaced on the team by his Mum,who proves to be an excellent player
Transcript
00:00🎵
00:16APPLAUSE
00:37How do you think we've got on there, then, Jack?
00:39Oh, that's easy, is it?
00:42Isn't that Iris?
00:44Yes, she must be back from Basildon.
00:46What are they doing on our board, then, Cheek?
00:48Come on.
00:50Oh, very good.
00:52Very good indeed, love, very good.
00:53Ian, do you mind?
00:54Yes, I do. Here's your darts.
00:56Blimey, it's you.
00:58Yeah, it's me, Iris. Do you mind getting off the board?
00:59Me and Jack are going to have a practice. Go on, Jack.
01:01Charming, we were here first.
01:02Now, look, we've got a serious match coming up.
01:04Now, pack it in. We don't allow women to use the dartboard.
01:07Oh, isn't it marvellous?
01:09They won't let us have equal pay.
01:11They won't let us become inspectors.
01:13They won't let us drive the buses.
01:15What will you let us do?
01:17Shall we tell them?
01:19Thank you very much.
01:21I'll tell you something.
01:23I can drive the bus as well as you can any day.
01:25Darling, if you want to learn how to play darts,
01:27come round to my place. I've got a special games room.
01:30It's got a dartboard on the ceiling.
01:35I tell you what, though, mate, she's a bit of all right.
01:38Sixteen. You've still got to get a double eight to finish.
01:40Oh, God, blimey.
01:41A double eight with beer all night.
01:43Here you are, love. Here's your darts.
01:45Oh, thanks.
01:46Right.
01:47You liberty taker, give me my darts back.
01:49If you want them, you get them.
01:50Come here. Give them back.
01:51No, stop.
01:53No, stop fucking with me.
01:54Go on, give me a go. I'll try again.
01:56Stop fucking with me. Go on.
01:58No, no, stop it.
02:00Ow!
02:01What's the matter?
02:02Blimey, your badge is sticking in me.
02:05Butler!
02:06What's going on here, then?
02:08Just practising a little self-defence, all in wrestling.
02:10We'll take the busman's grab, is it?
02:12No, the clipper's clutch.
02:15Come on. Break it up, come on.
02:17He could break it up if he wanted to.
02:19He's enjoying it.
02:21Butler, the company does not pay you to enjoy the clippers.
02:24Let her go. Come on.
02:28Tell him to give us our darts back.
02:30You're like a silly big kid.
02:31Give her her darts back. Go on.
02:33Thank you.
02:34That's daft. Darts ain't for women. They're no good at it.
02:37What?
02:38Listen, we two could take you two on any time you like.
02:41Oh, don't talk stupid.
02:43We'd make you look silly.
02:45What's the matter? You scared?
02:47Frightened a couple of girls are going to show you up, are you?
02:49All right, you're on.
02:51All right? Saturday night?
02:53You'll be sorry. We'll beat your hands down.
02:55Oh, you want to bet?
02:57We'll bet you a quid, eh, Jenny? Yeah, sure.
02:59All right, you're on for a quid.
03:00Oh, a measly quid. Go on, make it a fiver.
03:03Oh, Jack, it's like taking candy from a kid.
03:06All right, then, fiver. We all right with you?
03:09A fiver to a quid. You're on.
03:11Right, I'll witness that.
03:12What, five pound of yours to one of hers, right?
03:14No!
03:16Oh, now, come on.
03:18I mean, it's only fair, isn't it?
03:20Well, I mean, you two are much better than we are, aren't you?
03:22Well, of course we are.
03:24All right, then, go on.
03:25Let's see you get that double eight, then.
03:27Oh, double eight.
03:28Yeah, I like a good laugh, don't you?
03:30I don't know. I'll have a go.
03:32You know what it is, do you? The old lady...
03:34The cottage love, go on.
03:36Double eight, right? Yeah.
03:39Double eight.
03:44Lucky it was a fluke.
03:49Here, Stan, I reckon you'd better start practising when you get home tonight.
03:52You can't afford to chance your arm with Iris.
03:55Not when it comes to darts, anyway.
03:58Oh, yeah, I see what you mean, mate, yeah.
04:04Oh, look, is it all right there, Mum?
04:06Yes, that's all right, love, only do take care of the paint.
04:08Yeah, all right, then.
04:09Evening, all.
04:12What do you think you're doing?
04:13You can't play darts. I've got to sit down to my evening meal, haven't I?
04:16You're all right, safe enough.
04:17What?
04:18I'm not sitting there with darts whizzing all over me head.
04:20You go and play somewhere else.
04:22Look, mate, I've told you I've got this match on, haven't I?
04:25God, look, mate, I can't let the women beat us.
04:28Oh, I didn't know you played games with the clippies.
04:31All the time. First time they played darts, though.
04:33Yeah, what are they used to today?
04:35You want to go round the back of the depot one Saturday night,
04:37makes up the junction, look like a prayer meeting.
04:41Look, mate, I am in the proper team and I need some practice, it's important.
04:46How childish you busmen are.
04:48I don't come home after a day's work and play darts, do I?
04:51You don't have to.
04:52Booking Clark on the British Rail.
04:54You've got one up in your office.
04:56Don't be facetious.
04:57You can play somewhere else.
04:59Ah, stop nagging.
05:00You didn't marry me, you married her.
05:02Anyway, I need a clear nine feet.
05:04Well, play in the bedroom, then.
05:06No, no, no, you're not going to play in the bedroom.
05:08No, last time he did that, the door was covered in little holes.
05:11I spent hours spraying it with that special stuff
05:13before I found out it wasn't woodworm.
05:17It was woodworm.
05:18Rubbish.
05:19I was up there, I didn't see no worms.
05:21No, they came out, looked at you, crawled back in again.
05:25But anyway, the bedroom is no place to play darts in.
05:28No.
05:29Oh, I'm thinking of taking it up, though.
05:31Well, at least it would keep you awake.
05:33Well, you've got to admit, these old feather darts
05:36might be old-fashioned, but they're the best.
05:38Great balance these have got.
05:40Do you mind?
05:42All right, mate, don't get worried now.
05:44All right, Arthur, don't worry.
05:46Sam's got a very good eye.
05:49When he was a little boy, he used to play Red Indians.
05:52Aye?
05:53With a bow and arrow, of course.
05:55But he had no target to shoot at.
05:57No, he used me.
05:59He used to tie olive to a tree.
06:02Did he, really?
06:04But I didn't hit her.
06:05Yes, you did, I've got the mark.
06:07I never seen it.
06:09I showed it to you on her honeymoon.
06:11Yeah, well, I was asleep, wasn't I?
06:14Yeah, well, perhaps I can have my dinner now.
06:17Where is it?
06:18Well, I've made you a nice chicken stew.
06:20I think it's ready by now, love.
06:21Yeah, I'll get it.
06:22Right, well, let's have a go at this double top, then.
06:24OK, here we go.
06:28That was a bit wide, wasn't it?
06:30It was Olive's fault, you great stingy...
06:32No, no, no, don't use that language here, please.
06:34I haven't used it yet.
06:35Where'd the dart go?
06:36Sounded as if it hit the shelf.
06:38No, it went in the stew.
06:39Aye?
06:40Oh, no, it's gone in there.
06:42It's gone in there?
06:43Oh, blimey, it's ruined it.
06:45I can't see it.
06:46Well, if it's in there, it's coming out, that's it.
06:48Do you mind not sticking your great airy fingers in my dinner?
06:51All right, you get it out.
06:52All right, all right, all right.
06:53Go on.
06:54What's this?
06:55That's it, that's it.
06:56That happens to be a chicken bone.
06:57That's it, it's got feathers on it.
06:59When Olive cooks chicken, it's always got feathers on it.
07:03Get it out.
07:04All right, all right, here we are.
07:06Here, grab it.
07:08Oh, God, look at that.
07:10Dory, it there got a parson's nose.
07:14God, look at that, it's spoilt it.
07:16Look, how am I going to clean it off?
07:18Lick it off.
07:19No, thank you.
07:21Well, it's not a poison dart.
07:23Well, it is now, it's been in her stew.
07:25Now, don't you be rude to Olive in her cooking.
07:28Has it spoilt it?
07:29Of course it has.
07:30Oh, dear.
07:31All right, Arthur, I'll have to get you some sausages.
07:34Blimey, I didn't mean the stew, I meant the dart.
07:37Look, it's knocked all the feathers off it for a start, hasn't it?
07:40I can't play with it like that.
07:42It's upset the balance.
07:43Rubbish.
07:45Look, it is not rubbish, mate.
07:47It'll alter the centre of gravity and interfere with the angle of the flight.
07:50Well, all right, you two talk.
07:53That's a six-minute dart, not a supersonic Concorde.
07:56Look, mate, all I know is it's ruined, got it?
07:59Look, there's no feathers on it.
08:00I can't play an exhibition match without a proper dart.
08:04All right, all right.
08:05Let's just hope this is still worth eating.
08:09Yep, that's not chicken.
08:11Look at that, an earring.
08:13Oh, good, I'll be looking for that all day.
08:17Here, Olive, you can have this dart, it's no good to me.
08:20What have I won it for?
08:21Pierce your ears with it.
08:23Has anyone seen my thimble?
08:25Oh, aye.
08:28Here, have a look in the stew, it's probably in there where everything else seems to be.
08:36Oh, keep them there, Jack, mate, yes.
08:40Oh, I like that.
08:41Hello, hello, you boys got the wind up or something?
08:44They've been here practising all day.
08:46Oh, are you kidding?
08:47Sam's breaking in his new darts.
08:49Go on, Sam, three at the double top.
08:51Three at the double top?
08:52Yeah.
08:53All right, here we go, then.
09:00Oh, marvellous.
09:02Marvellous.
09:03I'll tell you something, Jenny here can do better than that with one hand tied behind her back.
09:07What, her? She's useless.
09:08That's not what you said last night.
09:10Oh, shit.
09:13What's up?
09:14I don't know, I can't seem to get the hang of these new darts.
09:16Yeah, well, you'd better start practising then, haven't you?
09:18The match is tonight, you know.
09:19It'll be all right, don't worry, it'll be all right.
09:21Look, I've got to go and get me way, Bill.
09:23You've got ten minutes now, keep playing with them.
09:25It's the only way, and don't let those girls put you off.
09:28They won't worry me.
09:29Right.
09:30What's the matter with you?
09:31Yeah.
09:38Hey, look, he's getting the hang of those new darts.
09:41Yeah.
09:42Still, there's more than one way of winning a darts match.
09:46I had a date with him once, I shan't forget, you know, Harry.
09:49He fancies me.
09:50I'll go and chat him up, you watch this.
09:54Stan?
09:55Yeah?
09:56You got a light?
09:57My lighter doesn't work.
09:58Yeah, of course I have, lovely, I've got one here.
10:01One minute.
10:02Fingers and thumbs with the darts and the matches, you know.
10:05Yeah.
10:08Here you are.
10:09Oh, keep it still, love, you can't get a light, will you?
10:12You want a light or not?
10:13Here you are.
10:15How's that?
10:17Oh, bloody!
10:18Oh, dear.
10:19Oh, I've burnt my finger then.
10:21Oh, have you? Here, let me kiss it better.
10:23One minute.
10:26There, better?
10:27Yeah, only I've burnt my thumb.
10:31Blimey, I'd better kiss that too, now.
10:33There.
10:34Better?
10:35Yeah.
10:37I wish I'd burnt me lips.
10:38Oh, you are cheeky.
10:41I was just saying to Jenny over there, it's always the quiet ones.
10:45Well, you know.
10:46What are you doing tonight?
10:48What do you mean, we're playing a darts match?
10:50No, I mean after the darts match.
10:52Oh, nothing, why?
10:53Well, I just wondered if you'd like to come back to my place?
10:57What for?
10:58Victory.
10:59Victory.
11:00Victory celebration.
11:02Oh, yeah?
11:03Who's victory?
11:04Oh, yours, of course.
11:06Oh, yeah?
11:07Well...
11:09Only my landlady's out till eleven, we'll have the whole place to ourselves.
11:13Yeah, turn it in, you're giving me ideas, you know.
11:16What's wrong with that?
11:17Oh, nothing, but, you know...
11:18Right, you're on, you're on.
11:19I'll see you after the match, all right?
11:21Yeah, all right, yeah.
11:22Cool.
11:24Dad?
11:30Here.
11:31What?
11:32You haven't been fraternising with the enemy?
11:34No, I was just giving Iris a light.
11:37So this inspector, you see, had a little moustache just like you.
11:40He said, you're going on your honeymoon, you've got no money.
11:44Get off!
11:48Very droll, that.
11:50You've got exactly five minutes to go by my chronometer.
11:53This match was due to start at seven o'clock prompt.
11:56It will therefore start at seven o'clock prompt.
11:58Well, I want it to start dead on time, too.
12:01That'd be a change, wouldn't it?
12:04Well, you've got exactly five, no, four minutes fifty to go.
12:07Right.
12:09Now, what do you want me to write on this?
12:11Bassman versus Clippies?
12:12Well, we're not fried cod and steamed pudding, are we?
12:17The way I see it, there's not much difference.
12:23Yeah, he writes well in chalk, doesn't he?
12:25Yeah, I recognise that.
12:26You're the one who's always writing on the back wall of the garage.
12:29Yeah.
12:30And other places.
12:33Twit.
12:34Well, let's face it, you never go anywhere without your little pencil.
12:40Very humorous, that.
12:41Come and check the board, shall we?
12:43Jenny?
12:44OK.
12:46Stan?
12:47Yeah?
12:48We could do with a clean duster for that board.
12:50Be a love.
12:51Hey, I think they're in that cupboard.
12:52Yeah, alright, no, call to order.
12:56Right, I've got one here.
12:58Oh.
12:59Get it over as quick as possible, eh?
13:02Well, yeah, there's your duster there.
13:04Oh, I see.
13:07Well, because I've got to weigh up these new headers, of course, you see.
13:09I mean, I've never done them before, you see, it's all, you know, the flight and that.
13:12Yeah, I know, I know, but don't forget the landlady's only out till eleven.
13:16Oh, yeah, don't worry, I'll bash them in so fast I'll singe her feathers.
13:20Oh, good.
13:21Yeah.
13:22Here, have a drink.
13:23No, thank you, I'll just have one.
13:24Go on, have another.
13:25No, no, no, not till after the match.
13:27Oh, dear.
13:28Don't tell me you're one of those blokes who can't do anything after a couple of drinks.
13:33Oh, of course not.
13:34Oh, good.
13:36Because I like a man who can hold his liquor.
13:40Oh, well, alright then.
13:42Oh, well, alright then.
13:59That's it.
14:02That's it.
14:03Oh, lovely.
14:04Well, get ready for the slaughter, eh?
14:07Cor, that's smashing stuff, what's that?
14:09I like it.
14:10Nuit de mort.
14:11Yeah?
14:12What's that mean?
14:13Night of love.
14:15Yeah?
14:16I only use it on special occasions.
14:18What are you putting it on for now?
14:20Oh, don't worry, it lasts.
14:22Oh, yeah?
14:23Yeah, well, I bet they don't sell that to girls of sixteen.
14:26Yeah, that's right.
14:27And I don't waste it on little boys.
14:32Oh, it's cracking stuff, isn't it?
14:33It's smashing.
14:34Do you like it?
14:35Yeah, I reckon it ought to get extra difficult.
14:36Yeah, I reckon it ought to get extra difficult.
14:38A little...
14:40Oh!
14:42Hey, Steph, come on.
14:43Yeah, it's alright, Jack, yeah, yeah.
14:45Come in.
14:46Oh, hello, Mum.
14:47Hello, Steph.
14:48Hi, Arthur.
14:49Jack told us to come along.
14:50I'm surprised you didn't ask us.
14:52Well, I would have done, Mum, but, you know, I didn't think it was all that exciting, you know.
14:57You look a bit excited.
14:58Hello, Mr B.
14:59Hello, Jack.
15:00Ready to come?
15:01Look, we're just starting.
15:02Are you ready, Steph?
15:03Yes, I'm ready.
15:04Yes, yeah, yeah.
15:06Oh, Mum, you know Iris?
15:09Yes, I know her.
15:11Good evening.
15:12Good evening.
15:13Well, Arthur, if you'd like to sit there, and, Mum, I'll get you a chair,
15:17and you'll get a better view from here.
15:19Olive, sit down there.
15:21And I'll see you later, Mum, see?
15:23Alright, love.
15:24Go on, Iris.
15:25I do hope you enjoy the match.
15:27Yes, I hope so.
15:29Oh, dear, fancy putting on all that perfume.
15:32Place reeks of it.
15:33Place reeks of it.
15:35You ask me, she didn't dab it on, she had a scrub down in it.
15:39Do you think I ought to wear perfume like hers, Arthur?
15:42Yeah, yeah, good idea.
15:44Wouldn't it make me too sort of sexy?
15:47No, you put some on, might cut out the smell of that winter green ointment.
15:53Alright, now, pay attention, will you?
15:55Now, pay attention, for God's sake, pay attention, come on.
15:58This match is going to be one straight game of a thousand and one down, right?
16:02And neither side gets off until both members have scored a double.
16:06Oh, I'll fix that, make it more difficult for the girls, see?
16:09Right, the bussermen who have won the toss, so they go off first, right?
16:13Drive off.
16:14Step back, step back, step back.
16:15I mean, first throw.
16:18Keep them near, Jack.
16:19Right.
16:20Lovely.
16:21There's a double.
16:23One double to the bussmen.
16:25Careful.
16:29And a double for the ladies.
16:31That's the one.
16:35I can't wait for this to be over, eh, Stan?
16:38Yeah, of course.
16:39Cool, darn, darn, darn, gets me going, turn up, turn up.
16:49Yeah, that's it, alright.
16:51Steady, steady, concentrate, boy, concentrate.
16:53Right in between that one.
16:55Oh, it's no good, I can't lay darts for me jacket on.
16:58Here, angle to this a bit, Jenny.
17:02Right.
17:06You missed the board.
17:07Forget about Iris, those are the doubles you're supposed to have your eye on.
17:13Oh, what a brazen girl that Iris is.
17:17I hope she's not after Stan.
17:19She knows that that sweater's too tight.
17:21Oh, Mum, men don't marry sixpots like her, do they, Arthur?
17:25Aye.
17:26Well, some of us don't.
17:28Right, please, right, please.
17:33Double.
17:34Double eight scored.
17:35Right.
17:39And an eight.
17:42Twenty-three scored.
17:45Stan, boy, you're the only one not off.
17:48Now, concentrate.
17:49Don't worry, I've just got to get the hang of these darts, haven't I?
17:53Right.
17:57What the hell do you think you're playing at?
18:00Belt up!
18:01I've still got to get seventy-six, haven't I?
18:03Seventy? We've still got to get a thousand and one.
18:05We haven't even started.
18:07Now, for God's sake, get a double.
18:09Alright, I'll get a double this time.
18:12So did I, please.
18:13Yes, I will.
18:15Good luck, Stan.
18:16Thank you, Stan.
18:24How's that, then, eh?
18:25Yes.
18:26Eh?
18:27That's right.
18:29How about that, then?
18:30Oh, what a double!
18:32Oh, what a beautiful double, eh?
18:34Beautiful double.
18:36Sorry I can't allow it.
18:37Why not?
18:38Look at your feet.
18:42I'm on the wrong side of the white line.
18:44I'm not surprised.
18:45That's the way you always drive the bus.
18:48You idiot.
18:51Look, mate, when I'm playing darts, I don't look at my feet.
18:53Pity. You might play better if you did.
18:56I got a double, didn't I?
18:59I'll get a double next time round.
19:00Quiet, please.
19:01Ladies' row.
19:02Right.
19:03Seventy-six required.
19:04Seventy-six, right.
19:05Right.
19:08Eighteen.
19:11Twenty.
19:13Double nineteen required.
19:14Double nineteen, right.
19:19Shot!
19:22That's beautiful.
19:23A complete whitewash.
19:25Whitewash.
19:26Where's the money?
19:27Here you are.
19:28Five pounds you won.
19:30And here's your pound stake money.
19:32Thank you very much.
19:33Congratulations.
19:34Hard luck, boys.
19:35Whitewash.
19:36One, two, three for you, Jen.
19:38Lovely.
19:39One, two, three for me.
19:40Oh, that was absolutely lovely.
19:41Right.
19:42Come on.
19:43You drew out five minutes ago.
19:44Come on.
19:46Thank you.
19:47You made us look a right couple of burks, didn't you?
19:50Well, well, well.
19:51Fancy you losing.
19:54I wonder what happened.
19:55I don't know.
19:57Oh, well.
19:58Don't think about it any more.
20:01Now, come on.
20:02Let's go back to my place, eh?
20:03You'll soon forget all about darts.
20:06Oh, yeah.
20:07Yeah.
20:08All right, then, yeah.
20:09Yeah.
20:10All right, I'll get me jacket.
20:12Well, I enjoyed that.
20:13I thought you played very well.
20:14Oh, come off it, Arthur.
20:16I was right off form.
20:18Well, I thought you played better than usual.
20:19Oh.
20:20I thought it was very good.
20:22He lost.
20:23Oh, well.
20:24It wasn't his fault.
20:26Jack let him down.
20:27Oh, blimey.
20:28Here, Stan.
20:29See Morrow, will you?
20:30Oliver and me are going to pictures.
20:31See the happiest days of your life.
20:33Come on, sunshine.
20:34Now, one minute.
20:35Not tonight.
20:36Oh, please.
20:37Because...
20:38Good night, Jack.
20:39Ah, Jack.
20:40Look, you live next door.
20:41See Mum home, will you?
20:42Sorry, mate.
20:43I've got to chat over a bit of business with the lads.
20:45Oh, yeah.
20:46Yeah.
20:47All right, I'm ready.
20:48Look, Iris.
20:49I'll have to take Mum home first, you know.
20:51You what?
20:52Well, um...
20:53Something wrong?
20:54Well, we did, you know, sort of have a date, like.
20:57Oh.
20:58We made arrangements and...
20:59I don't want to spoil your fun.
21:01You bring her home.
21:02I made a nice steak and kidney pudding.
21:04It's quite enough for three of you.
21:05No.
21:06No, thanks very much, but no.
21:08Well, look...
21:09Oh, God, I don't know what to do, really.
21:11Oh.
21:12Oh, it's quite all right.
21:14I'll find my way home.
21:16I'm sure I'll meet someone who'll take me across the main road.
21:20Main road?
21:21Yes, I don't see very well in the dark, you know.
21:24Of course, if I'd known, I'd have brought me other glasses.
21:28Oh, God.
21:30Other glasses.
21:32I'll tell you what, Iris.
21:33Look, I'll see Mum home first, then I'll come round to you later.
21:36Look, don't bother, don't bother.
21:38It won't take long.
21:39No, look, we'll make it some other time.
21:41I'll tell you, it won't take long.
21:42Oh, Iris, I've been thinking, you know, I'm very impressed with your game.
21:45You've got a lovely action there.
21:47Oh, thanks.
21:48Yeah, I've just been talking to the lads.
21:49We wondered if you'd like to join the official team.
21:52There ain't a vacancy.
21:53There is now.
21:54Well, the lads thought you ought to be rested for a bit.
21:57Nothing personal, mate.
21:58I mean, well, you're right off, aren't you?
22:01Oh, I see.
22:02Look, I'd like to talk to you about the fixtures.
22:04Fancy a glass of Tabuza?
22:05No, I've got a better idea than that.
22:07Look, I've got a lovely supper for two ready at my place.
22:10Do you fancy going back there?
22:11I'll smash in, yeah.
22:13Right, right.
22:14Good night, Stan.
22:15Good night.
22:16Look, we're playing a gasworks next week.
22:17It's always a nice fixture.
22:19You'll enjoy that.
22:20I will.
22:21I'd love to, mate.
22:22See you.
22:28Ah, well, come on up.
22:29Let's go up.
22:30All right.
22:31There's nothing to make it about here now.
22:33Don't forget your new darts.
22:35I'll leave them for what good they are.
22:37They're lousy.
22:38Oh, I think they're very pretty.
22:40That's about all they are, ma'am.
22:41Can I have a go?
22:42What, with these?
22:43Yes.
22:44Do you want them?
22:45Yeah, go on, then.
22:46All right.
22:47You used to stand on the eight-foot white line for the ladies, yeah?
22:49Just there.
22:50It's like anywhere in that ring, that round thing there, round ball.
22:52Anywhere.
22:54God blimey, you've got a double top.
22:56Oh, was that what I was supposed to do?
22:58Well, yeah, but, well, gosh, you know, it's beginner's luck, you know.
23:02I bet you wouldn't get another double with that dart, yeah.
23:04All right.
23:07Oh, no.
23:08Oh, was that another double?
23:10No, it's a treble.
23:11Oh.
23:12Oh.
23:13Hey, you crafty old thing, you've played this game before.
23:17Oh, I haven't.
23:18But you must have done it.
23:19It started with a double.
23:20Look, if I were to throw that, I'm sure I wouldn't even get it on the board.
23:24Go on, then.
23:27Oh, no, I give up.
23:28Oh, was that another treble?
23:29No, it was a bullseye.
23:30Oh.
23:32No, Miss, pity you're not a clippy.
23:33They put you in a team.
23:35In place of, er, Horace?
23:40Come on, love.
23:41Let's go home and have our steak kidney pudding.
23:44Ah, what am I going to do for the rest of the evening?
23:46Oh, well, we can, we can put the dartboard up and...
23:50Sam, you never know.
23:51Your old mum can teach you a few tricks.
23:56No, no.
23:58Come on, love.
24:02Come on, love.
24:32Come on.