Sponge Bob S04E2a The Lost Mattress
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TVTranscript
00:00Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe they'll finally fire me.
00:11This isn't happening. This isn't happening. Spongebob?
00:18The horror, it's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!
00:29You mean I got out of bed for nothing?
00:32The doors are locked. The doors are locked. Hey, we are on the outside!
00:36Outsiders.
00:38What are we gonna do, Squidward?
00:40There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.
00:43Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.
00:49Mr. Krabs, you're here!
00:51Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you when the world would have been deprived of the greatest food known to man.
00:57Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?
01:03I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.
01:05Harsh.
01:09Argh, me back!
01:11Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
01:12No, I'm just dabbled over in pain, fighting back tears in me eyes, because it's a no-dance craze!
01:20Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.
01:22I am hurt, you idiot!
01:25I'm sorry I stepped at you, laddy. It's just me back is killing me.
01:29It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral.
01:34I'm going out of me mind. Ouch! Oh, me back!
01:40Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we gonna do, Squidward?
01:43Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more.
01:50I'm serious, Squidward.
01:51So am I.
01:52We're gonna get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift.
01:56Then we'll never have to be late to work again.
01:59What? You want me to spend my hard-earned money on my richer-than-me skin-flin boss?
02:06No, thank you.
02:10That's okay, Squidward. You'll warm up to the idea.
02:14Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.
02:16No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store.
02:22Wow! I've never seen so many mattresses.
02:27Yeah.
02:28How many do you think there are?
02:36Ten.
02:37Cool.
02:38There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like.
02:52Grrrr!
03:07Ooh!
03:08Grrrr!
03:20What are you morons doing?
03:22Making a card for Mr. Krabs to go with his new mattress.
03:27Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad.
03:32Well, I won't stand for it. Give me that card.
03:36Trying to outsmart me, were you?
03:40There, I signed it for all of us.
03:42Hey, you didn't even help pay.
03:44Oh, that's okay. As long as Mr. Krabs is happy.
03:51Ooh, me back.
03:53Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mindless, lumpy mattress.
04:00Grrrr!
04:03That's queer.
04:04Me mattress seems strangely cozy and buttered.
04:08Like...
04:14Surprise!
04:15Fire Wrecking!
04:16What? You?
04:17Oh, you!
04:18What in the blue ice caliper are you doing in me bedroom?
04:21We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy old mattress.
04:25So I suggested we get you a new one.
04:28I thought it was your idea.
04:30So, where's me old mattress, then?
04:33Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too.
04:37I had it hauled away to the dump.
04:41My money was in that mattress!
04:45What? Haven't you ever heard of a bank?
04:49No!
04:51No!
04:56Mr. Krabs!
04:58No!
05:00And we got you a card.
05:02Is there money in it?
05:04Nope.
05:09Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be all right?
05:13Mr. Krabs is in a cash coma. Only the return of his money can save his life.
05:18It was SpongeBob's fault.
05:20Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea.
05:23I knew it!
05:24Not so fast.
05:26This card says,
05:27This was all my idea. Love, Squidward.
05:31If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail.
05:36You did this, SquarePants!
05:38If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump,
05:42I am going to murder...
05:45...help you do it myself.
05:49Wow, he really does care.
05:53What a dump.
05:56We've got to get in there, Squidward.
05:58Mr. Krabs is counting on us.
06:00Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?
06:03Terrific, Patrick! You found it!
06:05Where? Let me see.
06:07Over there, Squidward.
06:08Underneath that really big guard worm.
06:12Oh, that figures.
06:16Oh, no. This is horrible.
06:18What is it, doctor?
06:19This man has no insurance.
06:21He'll never be able to afford this room.
06:24You're right, nurse.
06:25Extract the patient to the hallway. Start!
06:32Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, all right.
06:35Let's go get it.
06:36Okay, here's the plan.
06:37You two, quietly go in there.
06:40Remove the mattress out from under the guard worm
06:43without waking the worm.
06:47Why not?
06:48Because that would be rude, Patrick.
06:50And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm.
06:53He'll eat you alive!
06:55Hey, wait a minute.
06:56What are you going to do?
06:58Oh, I've got the most important job.
07:00I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.
07:04Gee, thanks, buddy.
07:06My pleasure.
07:07Now let's get a move on.
07:11Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:16Isn't it beautiful, Patrick?
07:18You can see everything from up here.
07:21Whoa.
07:24What are you morons doing?
07:26Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
07:29Where? I can't see them.
07:34Wow.
07:38Do it again.
07:39Idiots don't.
07:40Squidward, what are you doing in there?
07:42You were supposed to keep watch.
07:44Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.
07:47I didn't do it.
07:49You blockheads woke...
07:51the worm.
08:00Doctor?
08:01Yes, Doctor.
08:02Regarding your patient, Doctor,
08:03I have come to this conclusion.
08:05Yes, go on.
08:06I have to surgically remove him from out in front of the candy machine
08:09so I can get to the Nutty Nut Bar.
08:11Of course.
08:12Nurse?
08:13I'm on it.
08:27Worm bait to Retriever.
08:28Worm bait to Retriever.
08:29We're in.
08:30Out.
08:31Retriever to Worm bait.
08:32Stay in.
08:33Don't go out.
08:34Understood.
08:35Out.
08:36No, in.
08:37Out.
08:38Understood.
08:39Out.
08:40Look, you're on the far side of the top, right?
08:41Affirmative.
08:42Good.
08:43Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress
08:46so I can retrieve it.
08:48Affirmative.
08:49Out.
08:50Oh, that's why he calls himself the Retriever.
08:52Why are we called Worm bait?
08:54I don't know.
09:00Great idea, Patrick.
09:06And my perfect plan falls into place.
09:14SpongeBob?
09:15Yes, Patrick?
09:16I think I know why our code name is Worm bait.
09:23Nice worm.
09:24Kind, gentle worm.
09:28Uh-oh.
09:33SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.
09:36Huh?
09:39Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.
09:41Save your boy's couch.
09:43Okay.
09:44See this, dick boy?
09:45You got it, boy.
09:48Coaster is clear.
09:50Squiddy, you are a genius.
09:52Ouch.
09:53What the?
09:54Hey, I needed a wooden spoon.
09:56I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket.
09:59And now for the mattress.
10:04I should have guessed.
10:12Excuse me, doctor.
10:13Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?
10:15It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.
10:21Yes, yes, he is.
10:22What were you thinking, man?
10:23We're trying to run a business here.
10:25We can't leave patients on the sidewalk not to worry.
10:28Nurse!
10:29I'm on it.
10:36All right, you two, what's the holdup?
10:39We feel silly.
10:40Come on, do it for old man Krabs.
10:43Okay.
10:45Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?
10:47Sure, but first, put on this cologne.
10:50Steak sauce?
10:53Okay, so you two are dressed as choice cuts.
10:58You go in there and yell, trick or treat.
11:01The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy.
11:05He'll leave to buy some.
11:07Then we take the mattress.
11:09Give me that cologne.
11:12Now, get in there.
11:14Happy Halloween, Squidward.
11:16I am not gonna get hurt this time.
11:20What's up? Isn't that Mr. Krabs?
11:31That guard worm doesn't look very happy.
11:34Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!
11:40It's my money.
11:45Oh, money.
11:46Oh, money.
11:47I promise I'll never leave you alone again.
11:51Hey, Mr. Krabs.
11:53Mr. Krabs, it's us.
11:55Trick or treat.
11:56Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you.
11:59Say, why are you two dressed as meat?
12:02Not just meat. We're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?
12:06Oh, I give up.