Frasier Season 5 Episode 21 Roz and The Schno Z
Frasier Season 5 Episode 21 Roz and The Schno Z
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00:00Hello, Matt.
00:02Oh, Frazier, listen to this.
00:04Michael Hawkins of Allentown, Pennsylvania has agreed to donate his right lung to his younger brother Clovis.
00:12Says Hawkins, I got two lungs, but I only got one brother.
00:17Isn't that something?
00:19It certainly is.
00:20The love one brother feels for the other.
00:22What do you want?
00:26I need you to come to a dog show with me.
00:30I would rather give you a lung.
00:32Latte, please.
00:34Frazier, I beg you.
00:36It's at the Seattle Kennel Club tomorrow night, and I can't go alone.
00:40Maris will be there.
00:42And in what class will Maris be showing?
00:47She'll be showing no class.
00:51As she has ever since she hooked up with that reptile Dr. Shankman.
00:54This will be my first time seeing them since we filed for divorce.
00:58You know, here's an idea, Niles.
01:00Don't go.
01:01I've never missed a Kennel Club show.
01:03If I don't go this year, people will think I've let Maris and Shankman intimidate me.
01:07I want to prove that I'm strong and independent, and I can't do that alone.
01:16All right, Niles.
01:18If it's moral support you need, I'll go with you.
01:20I'll pick you up around eight.
01:22All right.
01:23And I have a patient.
01:26I knew I could count on you for this, Frasier.
01:28It's nice to know some things never change.
01:30Do you guys know where I can get a cheap hotel room in a hurry?
01:33Case in point.
01:34Goodbye, Ross.
01:37Ross, why do you need a hotel room?
01:40I was supposed to move into my new place today, but they're still painting it.
01:44I can't be around those fumes, and they've already rented my old apartment.
01:48Grande decaf latte, please.
01:50I am literally on the streets.
01:52You just ordered a $4 cup of coffee on the street.
01:55Maybe a tad dramatic.
01:58Well, I've got to start crawling around, see if I can find something.
02:02Hmm.
02:04You know, Ross, if you're stuck, actually, my dad is going to San Francisco for the weekend.
02:08You could always stay with me.
02:10Wow.
02:12That would sure make things easier.
02:14Okay.
02:15Well, then, that's settled.
02:18That's that then.
02:20Oh, oh, you were just being polite.
02:21You didn't really expect me to take you up on it.
02:23No, no, not at all.
02:24I wouldn't have ordered it if it wasn't something I wanted to do.
02:26You should know that.
02:28All right.
02:29Oh.
02:30Here you go.
02:31There's your check.
02:32Oh, I'll get that.
02:33No, no, no, let me get that.
02:34Okay, thanks.
02:35Well, then.
02:37Lucky me, I'm getting everything I want today.
02:46It's about time.
02:47Calm down, Dad.
02:49I'm starting to get worried.
02:50You've got plenty of time.
02:51My point leaves at five o'clock.
02:53Stop to pick up your blood pressure medicine.
02:55I don't need it.
02:56Well, pack it anyway.
03:01What's this?
03:03Earrings?
03:05Oh, oh, just a little something I picked up for Daphne at the drugstore.
03:08She ran some errands for me last weekend.
03:10Nice.
03:11What are they?
03:12Sapphires?
03:13Yes, Dad.
03:14I always buy precious stones at the same counter
03:16where I pick up corn pads and wart be gone.
03:21Shouldn't you two be going?
03:22Oh, actually, Daphne, we're just on our way,
03:24but first there's a little something I wanted to give you,
03:27a little token of my appreciation.
03:29Oh, Dr. Crane, you remembered.
03:32Oh, of course I did.
03:34Can you believe it was five years ago today
03:37that I came to work here?
03:39I just knew you wouldn't let an important occasion like this go by unnoticed,
03:43and I wasn't expecting a gift.
03:45Well, it's a small gift, it's a tiny gift.
03:48Oh, my God, sapphires.
03:53Well, actually, Daphne...
03:54Oh, Dr. Crane, these must have cost a fortune.
03:57You know, my friend Molly got a diamond bracelet from her boss,
04:00but she worked for him for ten years, and she was sleeping with him.
04:06I got sapphires, and I didn't even have to sleep with you,
04:09although Nancy got the sapphires.
04:11Oh, God, what am I saying? I'm giddy.
04:14Is it rude if I go and try these on? I don't care.
04:17I'll have to see what they look like.
04:19I've never had real jewelry, never. I'm speechless.
04:26Dear God.
04:28She believes they're genuine sapphires.
04:31Gee, you think?
04:37Well, I'm going to have to tell her the truth.
04:39Why? Didn't you see how happy she was? Just let her enjoy them.
04:42I can't let her think I gave her something I didn't.
04:45Honesty between friends is far more precious than any gem.
04:48I'm sure Daphne feels exactly the same way.
04:51I feel like a princess.
04:53I'm never going to take them off.
04:55Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
04:58Oh, Daphne.
05:00You know, I'm glad you like them.
05:02You even remembered that sapphires are my birthstone.
05:05Is there no end to your thoughtfulness?
05:08Somebody has to keep track of these things.
05:10You know, I really shouldn't be getting to the airport.
05:13All right, Dad, I'll get my keys.
05:15No, no, absolutely not. I'll drive, Mr. Crane.
05:18From now on, you're not lifting a finger around here.
05:21You ring for the elevator, I'll grab my coat.
05:23All right, but don't dawdle. My flight's at five.
05:25They told me to get there an hour early.
05:29Did you remember to pack your medicine?
05:31Yes, but I told you, I don't need it.
05:34Oh, hey, guys.
05:36Rose, hey, Frazier helped me with that stuff.
05:38Thanks, and thanks for letting me use your room.
05:40No problem.
05:42So you're off to San Francisco.
05:44Yeah, yeah, Duke and I took our short leave there in 52,
05:48going back to retrace our steps.
05:50Sure sounds like fun.
05:52Yeah, yeah, we had a great time that weekend.
05:55Back then, there was no place like Frisco
05:58for a single guy cruising the streets looking for a good time.
06:03No, Dad, I think you'll find that
06:05Frisco hasn't changed all that much.
06:10I hope not.
06:12Bye.
06:13Bye.
06:14Hey, Rose, just off to the airport.
06:16Back in a bit. See you later.
06:18Come on in, Rose.
06:20Actually, you're here a bit earlier than I expected.
06:22Yeah, I had to get out of my apartment sooner than I thought.
06:25I left you a message.
06:26Oh, oh, frankly, I didn't check my machine all day today.
06:29Listen, Frazier, thank you so much for this.
06:32I won't be in an imposition, I promise.
06:34You won't even know I'm here.
06:36You have 13 messages.
06:40I had my calls forwarded. I hope you don't mind.
06:46Hey, Rose, it's Marco.
06:48I'm coming to town this weekend.
06:50You busy Saturday night? Late?
06:52Call me.
06:54Obviously, Marco and I haven't talked for a long time.
06:59Something tells me you never talked for a long time.
07:03Rose, this is Paula Garrett.
07:06Rick's mom?
07:08We just found out about the baby and we'll...
07:11We think it's important that we meet you.
07:14We're leaving to see Rick in Paris day after tomorrow,
07:17so any time before then would be fine.
07:20I'm running out now.
07:22Maybe I'll try you later.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:26No, Rose, just calm down.
07:27What do they want?
07:28Well, maybe they just want to meet you.
07:29They are the grandparents of your child.
07:31Look, I worked all this out with Rick.
07:34He's 20 years old, he's still in college,
07:36and it's best for everybody if I raise this baby by myself.
07:39I know that, but...
07:40Now I'm supposed to put up with in-laws?
07:42I don't even have a husband?
07:43That's like posing nude for your art teacher
07:45and still flunking the course.
07:50Shut up. I needed the credits.
07:54Rose, listen, all they want is a short meeting.
07:57Yeah, well, that's what they say now.
07:59What if they want another one after that?
08:01What if they won't leave me alone?
08:03What if they don't think I'm a fit mother?
08:05What if they turn out to be nice, supportive people
08:07that you're glad to have in your life?
08:09I just don't want to do this, Frasier.
08:12It's not comfortable.
08:16Oh, Rose.
08:19You know what?
08:21You know what? I...
08:23I could go with you, if you like.
08:26I mean...
08:27Oh, better yet, we could have them here tomorrow night.
08:30You know, Niles and I have that dog show around 8 o'clock.
08:33They could come before that.
08:35I don't know.
08:37Oh, that's Mrs. Garrett.
08:39I'm not here.
08:43Hello?
08:45Yes, she is.
08:47Yes, she did get your message.
08:51No, no, I'm...
08:53I'm afraid she won't be able to meet you.
08:59Yes, I understand that you're upset.
09:02I'm terribly sorry.
09:04Goodbye.
09:06Thank you, Frasier. Thank you.
09:09That was Marco. Now we're calling Mrs. Garrett.
09:13All right. Give it to me straight.
09:16How do I look?
09:22Like Pollyanna grew up, got herself in a little trouble.
09:27Why am I doing this?
09:29How did I let you talk me into this?
09:31It will mean a lot to them.
09:33Besides, there's a chance you'll learn about your baby's lineage.
09:36Lots of things.
09:39Besides, there's a chance you'll learn about your baby's lineage.
09:42A lot of things are inherited, you know,
09:44like intelligence, artistic ability.
09:48Oh, God, that's them. I gotta check my mail.
09:51Frasier, no need to panic.
09:53You know, this should be fun.
09:55It's like a little preview of who your child might be.
10:01Hi, there. Steve Garrett.
10:09My wife's just, uh...
10:11It's nice seeing you, too.
10:13Oh, what a coincidence.
10:15Your neighbor goes to my hair salon.
10:17Hi, I'm Paula.
10:19Frasier Crane.
10:21Won't you please come in?
10:24Roz will be out in a second.
10:26She just went to powder herself.
10:33We hope this isn't too awkward for her.
10:36She sounded a little anxious on the phone.
10:38Then again, who could blame her?
10:40She doesn't know what kind of people we are.
10:42A situation like this is enough to make anyone a little nervous.
10:46Well, actually, you know, Roz really isn't the nervous type.
10:56Roz, this is Steve and Paula Garrett.
11:01Hi.
11:04Oh, that's all right, Roz.
11:06We don't blame you for being shocked.
11:08I mean, we're used to it.
11:10You should see the looks we get.
11:12You were a little taken aback yourself, Lady Dr. Crane.
11:15Oh, certainly not.
11:17Oh, come on. It's all right.
11:19Everyone comments on it.
11:21Well, all right. I must admit, when I opened the door, I...
11:24Couldn't believe we were old enough to have a 20-year-old son.
11:28Exactly.
11:30You know, you both look so young, don't they, Roz?
11:39Yes. Young.
11:42Very, very young.
11:44Oh, Roz, I can see you're feeling a little uncomfortable,
11:46so let us just say right up front
11:48that we have no intention of intruding on your life.
11:51Rick told us what a wonderful person you are.
11:53We just wanted to meet you and offer our condolences.
11:56We just wanted to meet you and offer any help or support
11:59that you think is appropriate.
12:03Thanks. That's very nice.
12:06I thought your guests might be a little peckish.
12:09Oh, Daphne Moon, Steve and Paula Garrett.
12:12Hello. I...
12:18I...
12:19I know. It's amazing, isn't it?
12:21They are actually the parents of a 20-year-old.
12:25Amazing.
12:26Yes.
12:27Excuse me.
12:32Oh, Niles, you're an hour early.
12:34Oh, hey, Roz.
12:35Yeah, I thought you might want to grab a bite to eat before the dog show.
12:38Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you had to...
12:40Had...
12:44Company. Yes, yes.
12:46Steve, Paula Garrett, that's my brother, Niles Crane.
12:49The Garretts are the grandparents-to-be of Roz's baby.
12:52Oh, well, nice to meet you.
12:54Hey, Daphne.
12:55Did I hear you mention you're going to a dog show?
12:57Yes, the Seattle Kennel Club is having its annual event tonight.
13:00You know, Steve and I went to that a few years ago.
13:02We just love dogs. We have two giant schnauzers.
13:06Oh, my goodness, Paula, look at the view.
13:25Oh.
13:26Roz, why don't you show the Garretts the view?
13:29Oh, yes, that would be nice. I could use a breath of fresh air.
13:37Oh, my God.
13:41Just stop it, the two of you.
13:43My God, you're acting like a couple of two-year-olds.
13:48I'm home.
13:49Ted, what are you doing here?
13:52Oh, Frisco was a bust.
13:54All our watering holes are gone.
13:57The steakhouse is a sushi bar.
13:59And then this morning, Duke and I went out for a walk.
14:02We passed City Hall and there's this big crowd, kind of like a pep rally or something.
14:07So we joined them.
14:09Well, some official guy up front says something that we didn't hear.
14:13Next thing you know, everybody's throwing rice and all the men are kissing each other
14:18and all the women are kissing each other.
14:21And I'm not sure, but I think Duke and I may be married.
14:28Well, the whole weekend was like that.
14:30Just one surprising event.
14:32Ah!
14:43I'm sorry. Did we startle you?
14:45Oh, no, not at all.
14:47I didn't know we had company.
14:49Ted, this is Steve and Paul.
14:51Hey, Rick's parents. You remember Rick?
14:53Oh, sure, yeah.
14:54Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you.
14:56Marty Crane.
15:00Oh, they were just on their way to Paris to visit Rick.
15:03Oh, yeah, well, that sounds like fun.
15:06Yeah, I'm just a little nervous.
15:08I hear the Parisians can be kind of snooty.
15:14Excuse me.
15:16I've got something in the oven.
15:18Let me help you.
15:20Yeah, uh, me too.
15:33We've got to stop that heiress.
15:36Mmm, what's that I smell?
15:38Probably Japan.
15:53What is the matter with you people?
15:56Oh, God, I'm afraid you don't tell us you don't think this is for me.
15:59Not in the slightest.
16:00These are two perfectly nice people who happen to have large noses.
16:06Steve is standing there sniggering like school children.
16:09Well, all right, fine.
16:10If you can't get yourself under control, you can just stay in here.
16:16Keith, where ain't anyone?
16:17Keith, sir, I hardly know her.
16:19Oh, Steve.
16:22Oh, boy, that smells wonderful.
16:25It does it ever.
16:31Do you mind if I ask, is this homemade or store-bought?
16:34Honey, don't ask that.
16:36Pardon my wife.
16:37Sometimes she gets a little nosy.
16:40Me nosy?
16:41You're the nosy one in the family.
16:43Anyone who knows you knows you're nosy.
16:46Anyone who knows you knows you're nosier.
16:56Something wrong, Furries?
17:05Keith, sir, I hardly know her.
17:13I just got that!
17:26You know, Ross, in spite of a rather shaggy beginning, I think this evening's turned out rather well.
17:31Oh, yeah.
17:33And you were absolutely right, Frasier.
17:36Now I can see some of the qualities my baby can have.
17:40A sense of humor and a sweet disposition.
17:44A nose like an anteater.
17:49Frankly, Ross, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.
17:51But I remember Rick had a perfectly fine nose, and so do you.
17:56I'm sure your baby's gonna have one, too.
17:58Maybe you're right.
18:00If Rick can beat those genes, my baby has a chance.
18:06So how long have you been working for Dr. Crane?
18:08Five years, just yesterday.
18:10In fact, he gave me the most beautiful pair of sapphire earrings to mark the occasion.
18:15Frasier gave you sapphires?
18:17Both for coffee.
18:20I'll take some.
18:21You know, you really must show those earrings to my husband.
18:23He's a jeweler, you know.
18:24Really?
18:26Yeah.
18:27He can probably even tell you what mine, the stones, came from.
18:31Well, you know, maybe coffee's a bad idea.
18:33I mean, you've got that early flight in the morning.
18:35Daphne, could you just take this back in the kitchen for me?
18:37Oh, dear.
18:38One of my earrings is gone.
18:40It must have fallen off somewhere.
18:42We'll help you find it.
18:43What does the earring look like?
18:45No, no, that's not really necessary.
18:47Once you've seen one sapphire, you've seen them all.
18:49Well, that's not exactly true.
18:51They vary widely in quality.
18:53You know, why don't you just get up, and we have to get going, you know.
18:58I mean, we have plenty of people here to form a search party,
19:01and, you know, we'll just trample each other.
19:03Well, good night.
19:04All right.
19:05We do have a big day tomorrow.
19:07Uh-huh.
19:08And you might as well get a little sleep before you take off.
19:10You know, if you can't find that earring, I might be able to replace it.
19:14Let me see the other one.
19:15All right.
19:16I found it.
19:17Here it is.
19:18I knew I would.
19:19Boom for you.
19:20Oh, Dr. Crane.
19:22No, no, Daphne, just a second.
19:24All right.
19:25Well, listen, it was wonderful of you to come.
19:27Thank you for having us, of course.
19:29Ross, it was great meeting you.
19:32Our door is always open.
19:34You guys have a great trip.
19:35Good night.
19:36Good night.
19:37Good night.
19:40Can I have it, then?
19:41Oh, yes, of course.
19:42I'm sorry.
19:43It was just a piece of lint.
19:45Well, the search continues.
19:47Oh, this is just terrible.
19:49The one precious thing anyone's ever bought me my whole stinking life,
19:52and I lose it.
19:55Daphne?
19:56I found it.
19:57Oh, Dr. Crane, I could kiss you.
20:00Okay.
20:06What's this?
20:07Nothing.
20:12The setting's come loose.
20:15It's only blue on top.
20:16The bottom's all coppery.
20:20Dr. Crane.
20:21I know what you're thinking, Daphne, and you're right.
20:25Obviously, I...
20:26You've been swindled.
20:28Why did you buy these?
20:30I want to take these back and tell that lying cheat exactly what I think of him.
20:36Actually, you just did.
20:39You knew?
20:41Um, Niles, how about a cup of coffee?
20:44Thanks, Ross. Cream and sugar.
20:52I'm terribly sorry, Daphne.
20:56I actually meant to tell you eventually.
20:59You didn't need to. Her earlobe's already turning green.
21:01Shut up, Niles!
21:06You see, Daphne, the truth is I...
21:08I didn't remember your anniversary, and...
21:12Well, I saw them and I thought they were pretty.
21:18So I bought them for you, and...
21:20You thought they were genuine. You seemed so happy.
21:24I...
21:25They are pretty.
21:28I suppose I can have them repaired.
21:31I'll just take them back to the jewelry store.
21:43Actually, I...
21:45I bought them at Raymond's.
21:48Raymond's drugstore?
21:51Well, the good news is they'll probably carry something for that ear infection.
21:54Shut up!
22:07It's us again.
22:08Yeah, I almost forgot.
22:09Ross, I brought you something.
22:11I thought you might get a kick out of these.
22:13Here are some pictures of Ricky when he was a boy.
22:16Oh, thank you. That is so nice of you.
22:21Well, where is he? I don't see him.
22:23There, in the middle.
22:25Oh.
22:27He looks so different.
22:29Oh, right. That was before his hockey accident.
22:32The nose job changed his whole face.
22:34Well, not that the doctor didn't do a good job, but...
22:37That's the Ricky you'll see in the baby.
22:43Oh, thanks.
22:44Oh, you're welcome. And bye again.
22:47Take care, Niles.
22:49Thanks.
22:50Good to see you.
22:53Oh, my God!
22:55Oh, come on, Ross.
22:56No, no way.
22:57It can't be that bad. Let me see. Please.
22:59No, I'll never hear the end of it.
23:00Please.
23:08Where is the end of it?
23:19Oh, Ross, you're not still looking at that picture, are you?
23:23No, this is a different one.
23:27Oh, dear.
23:28Look at the way the ears on this poor little girl stick out.
23:33It's me.
23:36Age nine.
23:37The year before I got them fixed.
23:40Sorry, Ross.
23:42I didn't recognize you with those glasses.
23:46Why is one side blacked out?
23:49I had a lazy eye.
23:56I got that fixed the next year.
23:58Let's just say for birthdays I wasn't asking for ponies.
24:03You poor thing.
24:05I was just sitting here thinking,
24:07what if my kid gets Rick's nose and my ears and eyes
24:11through on my grandfather's third nipple?
24:13I might as well pitch a tent and charge admission.
24:17Oh, come on.
24:19Nothing like that's going to happen.
24:22I just hate the idea of my kid being teased.
24:28I know what that's like.
24:30As long as my baby's in here, I can protect it from anything,
24:34but pretty soon this kid's going to be out there on his own.
24:40Every child goes through a bit of teasing.
24:43I mean, it's part of growing up.
24:46At least yours will be lucky enough to have a mother
24:49who understands what it feels like,
24:51and you'll know just what to say to make it all better.
24:54I really hadn't thought of it that way.
24:57Well, I'm pretty good at finding the positive in things.
25:01I mean, look at what happened to me tonight.
25:04I could say, here I've worked for someone for five years
25:07and he forgot my anniversary
25:09and bought me a worthless piece of blue glass.
25:13I'd rather say he gave me a nice pair of earrings
25:17just because he thought I'd like them.
25:20Which is really rather sweet when you think about it.
25:23Yeah, well, Frasier will be relieved to hear that.
25:26Oh, I'm not going to tell him.
25:30Well, I'm ready for bed.
25:32Yeah, me too. Thanks again, Daphne.
25:35You're welcome.
25:37Oh, I just felt a big kick.
25:40You sure it wasn't a sneeze?
25:42There's a lot of... I promise!
25:53Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:56Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:59Mercy
26:01And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:04Well, maybe, but I got you pegged
26:09But I don't know what to do
26:12With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:17They're calling again
26:20Goodnight, Seattle, we love you!