Оnlу Fооls & Ноrsеs S05 Е06 - Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh yes, we'll have two sirloin steaks, thank you Michael.
00:07Make them biggans mate.
00:08Oh yes, that's right, as Jumbo says, make them biggans, saute potatoes, a selection
00:13of greens, and put the whole thing on my account, will you Michael?
00:17What account?
00:18What account?
00:19See what I mean?
00:20Jumbo, the old place hasn't lost its sense of humour.
00:21Well I wouldn't laugh if a barman made a burger meme.
00:28Barman?
00:29Now just you listen here Bob.
00:30Michael, Jumbo did not mean any offence, shall we sit down over here?
00:31Hey mate, do you know this pub hasn't got a music licence?
00:32Still, as long as it's him playing, there's no problem eh?
00:33Who's the big mouth Aussie Mike?
00:34Oh him, he's no Australian, he used to be a local lad didn't he, then he emigrated.
00:35Well that was a bit of luck wasn't it?
00:36Yeah.
00:37So what's he doing back?
00:38I don't know, buying cars off Boise or something.
00:39Cars?
00:40Ah, there you are you man.
00:41I've been looking for you.
00:42I've been looking for you.
00:43I've been looking for you.
00:44I've been looking for you.
00:45I've been looking for you.
00:46I've been looking for you.
00:47I've been looking for you.
00:48I've been looking for you.
00:49I've been looking for you.
00:50I've been looking for you.
00:51I've been looking for you.
00:52I've been looking for you.
00:53I've been looking for you.
00:54I've been looking for you.
00:55I've been looking for you.
00:56I've been looking for you.
00:57I've been looking for you.
00:58I've been looking for you.
00:59I've been looking for you.
01:00I've been looking for you.
01:01I've been looking for you.
01:02I've been looking for you.
01:03I've been looking for you.
01:04I've been looking for you.
01:05I've been looking for you.
01:06I've been looking for you.
01:07I've been looking for you.
01:08I've been looking for you.
01:09I've been looking for you.
01:10I've been looking for you.
01:11Hey, where's Rodney?
01:12Rodney, I left him down clearing up the market.
01:14Here.
01:15Some moose just had a go at me.
01:16Hey, had a go at you?
01:17Yeah.
01:18Who had a go at you?
01:19Him.
01:20Took the mickey out of my piano playing.
01:21Yeah, well, you ought to be used to that by now, but...
01:22I'll sort him out.
01:23You stay here.
01:24I'll sort you out and all later.
01:25Right, here.
01:26Excuse me, pal.
01:27Do you...
01:28I don't believe it.
01:29I don't believe it.
01:30Jumbo, bloody Mills.
01:31Who let you back in the country?
01:32Look at this, will you?
01:33Talk about a bad penny-tail boy.
01:34How you doing, mate?
01:35I'm all right, mate.
01:36All right, mate.
01:38Sam, you're looking double well.
01:39That's because I live in a healthy country.
01:40No fog or frost in Oz, mate.
01:41Oh, it's great.
01:42It suits you.
01:43It suits you.
01:44Look at all that, eh?
01:45Hey, tell me, what are you doing back home then, eh?
01:46Derek, Jumbo and I are having a business meeting.
01:47It's all rather confidential.
01:48I've no secrets from Del.
01:49Me and him were partners back in the 60s.
01:50That's right.
01:51That's right.
01:52We used to have a fish stall right outside the pub here,
01:53didn't we?
01:54Yes, I remember.
01:55Huh?
01:56Yeah.
01:57Cool.
01:58Those were the days, though, weren't they, eh?
01:59Those were the days.
02:00How long were you back home for, anyway?
02:01Well...
02:02Well...
02:03Well...
02:07Well, it's just a week or so.
02:08In fact, I'm just here to finalise a deal with Boise,
02:09taking a bit of sightseeing.
02:10Oh, I wish to God I hadn't bothered.
02:11This country has become a cesspit, Del.
02:12Aha!
02:13You're right there, Jumbo.
02:14Cesspit?
02:15What do you mean, cesspit?
02:16You could find cleaner places in a nabbo's armpit.
02:17I'll tell you what, though, Jumbo.
02:18You can't tell.
02:19That's a wig.
02:20That's because it's not a wig.
02:21Oh, do me a favour.
02:22You used to have curly hair.
02:23That's because it's not a wig.
02:24That's because it's not a wig.
02:25That's because it's not a wig.
02:26That's because it's not a wig.
02:27That's because it's not a wig.
02:28That's because it's not a wig.
02:29That's because it's not a wig.
02:30That's because it's not a wig.
02:31That's because it's not a wig.
02:32That's because it's not a wig.
02:33That's because it's not a wig.
02:34That's because it's not a wig.
02:35That's because it's not a wig.
02:36That's because it's not a wig.
02:37That's because it's not a wig.
02:38That's because it's not a wig.
02:39That's because it's not a wig.
02:40That's because it's not a wig.
02:41That's because it's not a wig.
02:42That's because it's not a wig.
02:43That's because it's not a wig.
02:44That's because it's not a wig.
02:45That's because it's not a wig.
02:46That's because it's not a wig.
02:47I have got a tenor ear that says it ain't.
02:49Alright, go on, cover that then, boys.
02:50Now listen, I'll tell you why I know that.
02:52Eh? What? Sorry, is that your change over there?
02:54Well...
02:58Thank you very much.
02:59Wait a minute, how do you think you're playing it?
03:01I don't believe you sometimes, Dale.
03:03Here am I trying to clinch a business deal.
03:07And you've nicked my client's wig.
03:09Well, you know, it was for a bet, wasn't it?
03:10You understand, don't you, Jumbo, eh?
03:11No, I bloody well don't.
03:13Jeez.
03:14Jeez.
03:15You always liked embarrassing me, didn't you?
03:17No.
03:18Look, chaps, this is just a temporary condition now.
03:22My doctors have assured me that my own hair will grow back, well, eventually.
03:27Well, there you are, gents.
03:28Oh, where's the loudmouth Aussie gone?
03:32Put this stuff on the table and leave us alone, mate.
03:35Now, just a minute.
03:36Oi, just a minute.
03:37Mate, mate, mate, mate, it's alright.
03:38Now, leave him alone.
03:39He's alright, don't.
03:40Go on, go on.
03:41No, he's a nice bloke.
03:42He really is a nice bloke.
03:43Look, I've got a cough, I've got breath.
03:44The only thing that works is the mouth.
03:53So, I'm trying to have a business meeting.
03:55Do you mind?
03:56Alright, alright, listen, I'll tell you what, you enjoy your nosh.
03:58I'll see you later.
03:59Yeah, look, I've got to talk to you, do I?
04:00Alright.
04:01Anytime, anytime.
04:02Yeah, OK.
04:03Sorry, is that the one you over there is it?
04:04Yeah.
04:05Thanks a lot, boys.
04:06Cheers.
04:07He seems a nasty bit of work.
04:09Oh, Jumbo, no.
04:10No, that's just the way he is, that's all.
04:12a gold dat bloke. His trouble is that his mouth is always three seconds out of his brain.
04:16I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, he's a diamond dat bloke. No, I'll tell you what,
04:20he's never cheated me. He's straight as a diet. Real diamond.
04:22The import and export licences will be looked after by my people,
04:28so they'll only take a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah. Look, Boise, I'm sorry,
04:32but I can't concentrate without the tube. I feel naked. I'll just pop to the gents
04:36and put it back on. Of course, Jumbo, I fully understand.
04:40I want to work with you. Ah, Jumbo, no, no, no, wait a minute.
04:43Listen, Jumbo, do you remember that horrible little kid brother of mine,
04:46you know, the one with the funny haircut, all snot and marmite?
04:48Yeah, I remember. It's him!
04:52It's him! You ain't changed a bit, Ronny.
04:58Do you remember him in the old Jumbo Mills, remember? Nah, no, of course you wouldn't,
05:02because he was only a little sprog when he emigrated to Australia. But look,
05:04he's done well for himself, isn't he? Look. You can say that again, mate.
05:07Best thing I ever did was getting out of this dump. Of course, now I'm a major shareholder
05:11in an office cleaning company, got a chain of fast food restaurants,
05:14and I'm just going into the automobile trade. Last year, Del, I bought this apartment overlooking
05:19Sydney Harbour. Half a million dollars. Architect-designed interior right down
05:24to the mirrored ceiling in the bedroom. Mirrored ceiling?
05:29No, no, no, no, it's purely decorational. I mean, I wouldn't use it for anything like...
05:37Well, you wouldn't use it to comb your hair, would you?
05:42You think I'm bald, don't you? Uh, well, it had crossed my mind.
05:49Well, I'm not. Well, that's a hell of a parting you've got there, Sam.
05:54What I mean is, I am not naturally bald. Oh, you mean you pay someone to do that?
06:02What I mean, Rodney, is that this is the result of a nervous disorder,
06:06and my doctors have assured me that my own hair will grow back at any time now.
06:10Yeah, trouble is, he told him that 15 years ago.
06:13No, listen, he don't really. He's only 91.
06:15All right, all right, see you about 8 o'clock. Yeah, all right, mate, see you later, yeah.
06:18Come on then, Rodney, have a drink up. We've got work to do.
06:20Yeah, did you clear up down the market? Yes, I did. That's what I want to talk to
06:22you about. How long have I been a rubbish clearer? You never told me I got promoted,
06:27and that weren't even our rubbish deal. That come off Harry Dando's fruit and veg stall.
06:31Yeah, I know it did. Well, listen, Rodney, you know, Harry's an old man now,
06:34and he's getting on. He's got arthritis and a touch of the old, you know, rheumatism.
06:38You know, I mean, if I can help somebody as I go along my way,
06:41my living will not have been in vain. That is my motto.
06:45How much did he pay you? A fiver.
06:47So you want two quid then, don't you, eh? No, I don't. I want two quid.
06:49See you, Dil. Oi!
06:51When that doctor said your hair could grow back any time now, we weren't kidding, was we?
06:54So, anyway, so he said, so he said, for a moment there, I thought you were hissing my performance.
07:06I don't, all right. All right, yeah. Listen, give me a banana
07:10dakari for um, moi, and Australian lager for Jumbo, all right?
07:14I only sell British lager, Dil. You know, Cronenberg, Offmeister, stuff like that.
07:18All right, well, give us one of them then. That's all right, yeah, fine.
07:20So how's life treating you, Dil? I'm all right, not complaining, not complaining.
07:24I take it you never did become that millionaire you were always talking about?
07:26Well, no, no, not, not yet, you know. This time next year I'll be a millionaire.
07:31Do you know those were the last words you said to me just before I emigrated?
07:34Trouble is, that was 1967. Oh, well, you know, there's still time.
07:39Still time, still time. Thank you, Michael. Thank you. Cheers.
07:42Do you believe that, Dil? I mean, do you truly believe it?
07:49Of course I do, don't I, yeah. You should have come with me, Dil.
07:52You're wasted here. This country's finished. It's all decrepit.
07:56Yeah, all right, it was my country, so stop having a pop at it, will you?
07:58There's stench of defeat everywhere. Yeah, all right, so it's British stench,
08:02and I happen to be proud of it, all right? The old place, it's got no guts anymore.
08:05Oh, that's funny that is, Jumbo. Now, someone else said that a little while ago,
08:08a little jumped-up general from Buenos Aires, and if you're not careful,
08:11you'll get what the argy's got and a good smack in the eye, all right?
08:14Hold on, mate, hold on. I didn't mean to offend you.
08:18Ah, just trying to point out a few facts, that's all.
08:21All right, mate, all right, all right, leave it at that, then.
08:23Do you remember now, when our business broke up and I decided to emigrate?
08:28Well, if it hadn't been for you, Dil, I'd have gone to Australia potless.
08:31You gave me your last 200 pounds.
08:33Hold on, Ab, I told you, forget it, forget it, didn't I?
08:35Well, I never did forget it, mate. No, even when times were hard,
08:38I used to lie in bed at night and think to myself,
08:40I'm gonna pay Dil back, with interest. And now I am.
08:44I want us to reform our old partnership.
08:48What, get another fish stall?
08:51No, no, no, no, you see, I'm starting up this business.
08:54I'm gonna import prestige European motors, like rollers, Mercs, that kind of thing.
08:59I want you to come to Australia as my partner.
09:03Hey, I want you to front the business, Dil boy.
09:06I want you to deal with the public, give them that old razzmatazz, like you used to.
09:11Australia?
09:12Well, I've got the money, I've got the site,
09:13and thanks to my little deal with Boise, I've got the motors.
09:17All I need is you.
09:19I don't know, I mean, you know, Australia's not a long way off, ain't it, eh?
09:22They'd love you over there. They've got no class.
09:29No, what I mean is, they've got no class structure like they have here in England.
09:33I mean, over there, it doesn't matter how you talk, you see,
09:35in Aus, a bloke's just a bloke.
09:36Yeah, I know, but, cool, blimey, that cost a fortune to get over there,
09:40I'm paying.
09:42No, no, I couldn't go, no, because, you know,
09:44I've got no trade or nothing, you know, they wouldn't accept me, would they?
09:47You've got better than that.
09:48You've got a full partnership in a growing company, Derek.
09:51This time next year, you will be that millionaire.
09:57No, no, I mean, you know, I've got family ties and all that, haven't I?
10:00Bring them with you. Put young Rodney on the payroll.
10:04He has got two GCEs.
10:07That doesn't matter, we'll find something for him to do.
10:12Well, I mean, no, no, Jim, I mean, just, you've got to remember,
10:14we didn't know if you used to row a lot, didn't we?
10:15So we'll still row.
10:18Our biggest argument will be who's got the most millions.
10:23So what do you say, Del Boy, now, are we going to do it or ain't we?
10:29All right, put it there, you old bastard, you're in for a fast ride.
10:32Let's do it, let's do it, all right?
10:34Hey, Michael, Michael, please, a bottle of champagne for my partner and me,
10:39and make it the best champagne, a bottle of that, um, Dillinger's 75.
10:45That's Prince Charles's favourite champagne, that.
10:47No, that's Bollinger's.
10:48It's bloody true, I'm telling you.
10:50We're not out here again in Brixton, all right?
11:07This is the Blitzerlanden, I was there.
11:10Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, we're going, we're going to Australia.
11:16Yeah, well, I just see the end of this first.
11:17No, no, good boy, good boy, good boy, no, no, come, listen, I'll get the glasses.
11:22Sun the rise as she come in the morning.
11:25Sun the rise, come with the yawning, lighting up the ground.
11:33You've had enough, don't you?
11:34Yeah, well, I'm celebrating, aren't I?
11:35It's not, it's not every day, like, you know, that you decide to go Australia, is it?
11:39Go on.
11:39I'll tell you what, I'll make you a nice cup of black coffee.
11:41No, no, you don't understand, we are, we're going, we're going to Australia.
11:44What do you mean we're going to Australia?
11:46Well, listen, this boy, what's the matter with this boy?
11:48Don't he understand?
11:48All right, let me put it another way, right?
11:50Um, we are going to Australia.
11:53See, what happened is, like, Jumbo, you know Jumbo, well, he's, he's offered me a partnership
11:56in his company, his new company, and it's going to be a real big honour.
12:00I mean, Rodney, this time next year, we will be millionaires.
12:03Right, first thing in the morning, we go up to, you know, Australia house, right,
12:05with sun uniforms, and then, you know, we're away, we're away.
12:09If I have any say in this, I might not want to go to Australia.
12:13Yeah, it's too late now, look, I've given him your word, you see.
12:16I don't know anything about this.
12:18No, you don't have to do that, I've done all that for you, haven't I?
12:21Let's see, Rodney, Frinkie, hey, Australia, hey, we're the men of men, hey?
12:24And so are the women.
12:29What's that supposed to mean?
12:31Last time I was over there, the only way you could tell the sexes were, the men spit further.
12:36All right, when was the last time, when was the last time you were over there?
12:391929.
12:401929?
12:42God, blimey, we were still transporting prisoners over there then, weren't we?
12:46Never mind, listen, listen, I want to explain something to you, come here, come here, come here.
12:49Look, Rodney, look, I've got Jumbo's, Jumbo's borrowed me some of his photos,
12:54look, I want you to have a look at them, look at the beach there, look, hey, look at that.
12:57Oh, yeah, look at that, birds.
12:58Yeah, god, that'll bruise your ribs, won't it, hey, hey, hey, hey.
13:02What is it written, written?
13:03Hey, Rodney, that could be us, in a little while, you know, blue skies,
13:06surfing, beach parties, all that, hey, what do you reckon?
13:08Yeah, sounds great.
13:10Yeah, yeah.
13:10What, and he wants us to help run his new car business?
13:13No, no, no, no, not help run it, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just gonna,
13:16I'm gonna be a partner, like, straight down the middle.
13:18See, Jumbo, he's gonna, like, have 51% of the shares, you see.
13:22Well, how's that, how's that straight down the middle, then?
13:24Yeah, I'll get 51% of the shares and all, I suppose, I mean, I'll get all, I suppose.
13:29You see, the thing is that what happens is Jumbo is gonna be behind the scenes,
13:31like, he's gonna handle all the money, like, right now,
13:33and I'm gonna be the sales director.
13:35I'm gonna have my own executive office, you see, and a swivel chair and all that game, see?
13:39So what's my job then?
13:40Oh, now, Rodney, listen, you're gonna play a very vital role in the organisation,
13:43and I know, I just know that you can handle it.
13:45So what is it?
13:46Listen, well, you know when all those Rolls-Royces and Mercs,
13:48they come trunding off the, off the ship,
13:50what is the first thing they're gonna need?
13:53Import licences, customs clearance, all that.
13:55Yeah, I know, more important than that.
13:58Re-registering.
13:59They've got to have new, new number plates and new logbooks and all that.
14:02Well, they're gonna need even more than that.
14:04Cleaning.
14:10Cleaning.
14:16He's going 20,000 miles just to be a car cleaner?
14:19No, he's not gonna be just a car cleaner.
14:23He's gonna be a prestige car cleaner.
14:26You know, he's gonna be in charge of it and all that.
14:27Oh, look, I'll have staff working under me then.
14:30Eventually, yeah.
14:32I mean, this is a growing business, Rodney, and one, you know, a year from now,
14:35I can't afford to have you down there with your muttoncloth and your teacup.
14:38I've got to have you with me up in the boardroom
14:40and you'll have your own in-car celluloid phone.
14:45You've got a sex set for you, all that.
14:46You've got to have that, haven't you?
14:48Yeah.
14:48What about Albert, though?
14:49I've got to find something for him to do, eh?
14:50Yeah, I worked it all out.
14:51I wouldn't waste your time, boys.
14:54Because I'm not going.
14:56Hey, oi.
14:57Albert, come here, come here.
14:59What do you mean not going, eh?
15:00Listen to me, son.
15:01I've spent three quarters of my life sailing around this world.
15:04Now, all I want is a place to sit down and stay there.
15:07When I come to live with you two, I hope that I would end my days here.
15:11Yeah, well, so did we.
15:14But, I mean, it's a great opportunity for us, son.
15:16Yeah, yeah.
15:17It's a young man's opportunity, Rodney.
15:20I'll be all right here on me own.
15:24All right.
15:25If that's what you really want, hunk.
15:27Yeah.
15:27If that's what you want.
15:28Yeah.
15:29Listen, I'll make sure you're all right for a few bob.
15:31You know?
15:32Yeah, you're a good boy, Dale.
15:39Oi, Dale.
15:40Oi.
15:40You're getting away from all this, aren't we?
15:42Yeah, what?
15:42Flint and the squatter.
15:43Yeah, get rid of that.
15:45It's goodbye to all that, and it's hello to clean air, good living.
15:47Yeah.
15:48At this point, where are we going to live?
15:50Well, Dumbo said that we could have his apartment for a while.
15:52What, not on Sydney Harbour?
15:53Yeah, that's the one.
15:54It'd be like living on another planet.
15:57Um, Dale?
15:59Yes, Rodney, you can have the room with the mirrored ceiling.
16:05Well, what's it say?
16:06I've been accepted.
16:07I've been accepted.
16:07Well, thank God for that.
16:09Yeah, yeah.
16:09Oh, I've had this feeling, you know.
16:11Everything's been going so well, I thought, you know,
16:13something's bound to go wrong, innit?
16:14No, boy, you're home and dry.
16:16I've got this feeling as well.
16:18I think this is the chance that's going to change your life.
16:21Yeah, I'm going to make it this time, Al,
16:23but you bloody see if I don't.
16:25Yeah.
16:26All right?
16:27Yeah.
16:27Oh, terrific, Rod.
16:29How about the letter?
16:29I've been accepted, haven't I?
16:31Oh, great.
16:34What's the matter?
16:34Nothing.
16:35Oh.
16:35Nothing's the matter.
16:37You ain't getting homesick already, are you?
16:41I got a letter this morning as well.
16:43Yeah, yeah.
16:44They've refused me an immigration visa.
16:47They've turned me down.
16:51Sorry, mate.
16:52But why, Rodney?
16:54I mean, you're young.
16:55So you got the GCEs.
16:57I've also got a criminal record for an offence involving drugs.
17:02What?
17:02I mean, bloody hell, that was years ago,
17:04and you only took one bloody path.
17:05Oh, no, but it don't say that on your file, does it?
17:08It just says,
17:09found guilty for the illegal use of drugs.
17:13I'm sorry, mate.
17:14I'm really sorry.
17:15I've messed it all up for you now, haven't I?
17:18No, you ain't, bruv.
17:18No, you haven't.
17:19Yes, I have.
17:19I have, haven't I?
17:20I've blown your big chance.
17:22No, you haven't.
17:23There's always a way round, Rodney.
17:25There's always a way round there.
17:27Really?
17:28Yeah.
17:29Don't worry, Rodney.
17:31I'll find another car cleaner.
17:38Wait, you're still going?
17:41You're going to go without me?
17:42Look, I've got to.
17:43I mean, I've got a partnership waiting for me over there.
17:46And what about our partnership?
17:48Our partnership?
17:48Oh, our partnership?
17:50Yeah, well, you know that means all the world to me, Rodney.
17:54You know that.
17:54But I'm just going to have to say bonjour to it.
17:57Look, boys, I know it's none of my business.
17:59Yeah, spot on, Albert.
18:03I'll make a toast, then.
18:09Look, Rodney, this is my golden opportunity to fulfil my potential, right?
18:14What do you want me to do, eh?
18:16I want to stay here, do you, flogging all this rubbish?
18:19I've got 24 computers here that don't work.
18:22I've got a near-Persian rug that's got more food on it than a menu.
18:27And what about last year, when I had a golden opportunity?
18:31You forced me to give it up, didn't you?
18:33You gave me all that cobbler's about loyalty and family ties.
18:36Yeah, but you wanted to be a window cleaner, didn't you?
18:39It's hardly the end of the rainbow stuff, that, was it?
18:41You know, I'd have had my own business.
18:43Yeah, I know, Rodney, but you will have your own business.
18:45Because as soon as I step on that aeroplane,
18:47you will become the sole proprietor of Trotter's Independent Traders.
18:51And what exactly am I supposed to trade with?
18:54Well, all right, well, look, you've got...
18:55At least you've got 24 beautiful-looking computers, haven't you?
18:59And you've got this sort of Persian rug, you know, it's not bad.
19:02You sluice it over with a j-cloth and it's a real go-on, know what I mean?
19:06I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I'll tell you what I've got.
19:07Look, look, here's my little black book, right?
19:09Now, I'm going to give you that.
19:10And that contains all the names and addresses of all my birds.
19:14And this is my future.
19:1824 computers that don't compute.
19:20The only rug in the world with a sell-by date and a script 201 Dalmatian.
19:24Thanks a lot.
19:27Don't you think I've sacrificed enough for you?
19:29Sacrificed for me?
19:31Yes, you...
19:33When dear mum, God rest her soul, when she...
19:36Now, when she died...
19:37Don't start that again.
19:38When she died, who stood by you?
19:40Oh, yes, I remember that well.
19:44I was a little five-year-old stood in a damp graveyard
19:46wondering what the hole in the ground was for.
19:48I remember all the other people saying,
19:50I wonder what's going to happen to poor little Rodney.
19:54But I had no need to fear, did I?
19:56Because suddenly a vision appeared from beyond the silhouette of the gasworks.
20:00Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
20:02No, it's Delboy!
20:05That's the name, sir!
20:07Aye, Delboy, we'll look after this small wheat.
20:11I will bring him up in the ways of Delboy.
20:14He will sell iffy watches from old suitcases on street corners.
20:19And I will also teach him how to drive a three-wheeled van
20:22while pissed out of his skull.
20:30And I did, didn't I?
20:33Yeah.
20:35You made a bloody good job of it, too.
20:38Just think, Del, so far I'm your only success.
20:41That says a lot for the two of us.
20:44I'm a bit nervous, don't it?
20:45Oh, Rodney, we're rodders.
20:48Listen, I'm going to make a fortune over there.
20:51I'll send you money and all that.
20:52You know what you can do with your money, pal.
20:54Rodney, look, I've got to have a chance.
20:57I mean, this country's going downhill fast, isn't it?
21:00I know, but I think the real opportunity lies right here.
21:05Oh, Del, what happens when a country's in a depression, eh?
21:08Money gets tight, doesn't it?
21:10People can't afford to pay the inflated shop prices,
21:12so what do they do?
21:14They come to blokes like us, don't they?
21:17I tell you, the more hard-up Britain gets, the richer we become, eh?
21:24This is my big chance, Rodney.
21:28Fine.
21:30Well, I'll see you around, sport.
21:40Dipstick.
21:40I suppose you heard all that.
21:42The tugboat crews on the Thames heard it all.
21:45So what are we come to, eh?
21:47A family feud.
21:49You're like them Ewing brothers, Bobby and J.R.
21:53I suppose I'm a bit like that Bobby.
21:58I wouldn't have said Rodney was like J.R., though.
22:01A J.R.fer, but not a J.R.
22:11Hmm.
22:14Rodney's late.
22:16Yeah, he's probably getting smashed somewhere.
22:19Families, families.
22:20Nothing but problems, are they, Albert?
22:21Yeah, that's true, son.
22:24Would you like my advice, Del?
22:25Yeah, why not?
22:26Go on, chuck in your penny.
22:27You've got to go, son.
22:28If you don't take this chance,
22:29you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.
22:32It's the kind of thing that will eat away at you.
22:35I know it'll be tough on young Rodney,
22:37but eventually you'll learn to stand on his two feet.
22:40In the long run, this could be the best thing for both of you.
22:46Cheers, Albert.
22:47Yeah.
22:48Thanks very much.
22:50Perhaps one day you'll try explaining it to Rodney for me, you know,
22:54because you're a better addict than me.
22:56Yeah.
22:58I'm going to phone Jumbo now, tell him what time I'll be arriving.
23:02Oh, gee.
23:11Hmm.
23:12Tell you one thing, phoning Australia would half hurt your finger.
23:17Hello.
23:18Jumbo?
23:18Stellboy?
23:20Eh?
23:21Well, with your money, you ought to have a phone in the carsie.
23:24You...
23:25Now, listen, um...
23:26Do you have a problem, uh...
23:28Rodney won't be coming over.
23:29No, we've got a few snags this end, see?
23:32Me?
23:34No, I won't be coming over either.
23:36No, it's...
23:38You know, it's loyalties, isn't it?
23:39You know, family ties, all that.
23:41Well...
23:42I know what I am.
23:45No, just, I'm sorry, mate, you know, the whole deal's off, you know.
23:47You know, it makes sense.
23:49Anyway, thanks very much for the offer, you know.
23:51It was much appreciated.
23:55Yeah, I'll see you around, pal.
23:57Cheers.
23:58Well, I'm glad my voice helped.
24:05Well, what else could I do?
24:07I suppose it would be for the best in the end.
24:09Are you happy now, son?
24:11I don't know, in a way, I suppose.
24:13It's like a big weight's been removed from my shoulders, I know that.
24:16Well, I suppose that, Sammy.
24:18Well...
24:20See you in the morning, son.
24:22Good night.
24:24Yeah, night, hun.
24:35All right?
24:36Oh!
24:37Yeah, bro.
24:39Um...
24:41Hiya, are you in apology, Del?
24:43Well, all them things I said earlier, I was right out of order.
24:46And, um...
24:48Well, you've got to take that opportunity.
24:52No, too late now, brother.
24:54I've already phoned Jumbo, told him the whole deal's off.
24:56Oh, you ain't.
24:58Because of what I said?
25:00Well, yeah, in a way, Rodney, in a way.
25:03Because you, you know, you said that the real opportunity lies here, didn't you?
25:06And, you know, the country's in a bad way, money's tight.
25:09People are looking for bargains.
25:11I mean, you know, and who do they, who do they turn to, you know, first, eh?
25:14Blokes like us.
25:15Yeah, they see blokes like us.
25:17You see, I was sitting there, and I thought to myself, I thought, no,
25:18I thought Rodney has hit the whole nail right on the head there.
25:21I thought, this wonderful land of ours is on the,
25:24it's on the eve of a golden age of the black market.
25:29And you and me, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna be in there first.
25:34I'm, no, I'm glad I listened to you, Rodney.
25:35I really am.
25:36Because if I'd have taken that, you know, chance of a lifetime, could have ruined me.
25:41So, we're still partners, then?
25:45Yeah, if you'll have me back.
25:47Ah, well, let me sleep on it, eh?
25:52Smack you in the nose, you saucy sod.
25:56Hey, Dale, this time next year, eh?
25:59Eh? Yeah, well, you know, this time next year, eh?
26:04Well, I'll see you in the morning, eh?
26:06Yeah, I'll see you in the morning.
26:11Dale.
26:12Eh?
26:14Do you know, yeah, I know, bro.
26:18Do you know?
26:26This time next year.
26:28Who wants to be a millionaire?