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Short filmTranscript
00:00It's one for the price of two. One for the price of two.
00:03Keep taking the money, Rodney. I'm gonna pop down the pub and get a lemonade for the old hobsons.
00:07Get us a packet of pork scratchings, would you?
00:09Pork scratchings? Sounds like a pig with fleas.
00:14Come on, then. Get him what it's going to. We are not here today gone tomorrow.
00:17We are here today gone this afternoon. Now, come on.
00:24Hey, come on.
00:27Ah, hey. All right, Trigg?
00:30Hello, Del Boy. How's your luck?
00:32You can have it for a knicker. I have a pint of diesel oil for Trigger.
00:35And I'll have a blackcurrant and pernod.
00:40You'll never guess who I just saw.
00:42Er, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia.
00:45No, no, you're miles off, Del.
00:47No, I knew he wouldn't be in here. He'd be in the saloon bar, wouldn't he?
00:52I'm joking, Trigg. I'm joking.
00:54Oh, gotcha. No, it was your ex-fiancée.
00:58Oh, yeah? Which one?
00:59Pauline.
01:01Pauline? Pauline Harris?
01:04No. No, no, you must have been mistaken.
01:07She got married to that Bobby Finch, didn't she? And she went to live abroad.
01:10Yeah? Well, who's that sitting over there, then?
01:19That is her, Trigg. That is her.
01:23It's at moments like this when I wish I carried an emergency capsule of brute around with me.
01:27Leave it out, will you, Del? You don't want to get yourself involved with her again.
01:30Remember what happened last time?
01:32Yeah, yeah. Did she ask about me?
01:34Yeah. She seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning.
01:38How the hell do you do that?
01:42I thought it was... What?
01:43I said, she seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning.
01:46Yeah, well, she probably is concerned, isn't she, eh?
01:49You know, perhaps she's worrying about me.
01:51It's all right, all right. I'm not going to get involved, am I?
01:54Oh, I'm too shrewd for all that, ain't I? Eh?
01:58No, I might just go over there, you know, and say hello.
02:01If that is all right with you two.
02:03You want your brains tested.
02:05Yeah, thank you, Joycey.
02:07Here, did you take one for yourself?
02:08No.
02:09Good.
02:14Excuse me. Excuse me, Squire.
02:22Hello, Pauline.
02:25Del.
02:31Oh, I can't believe it. It's so nice to see you again.
02:35Well, it's nice to see you, Pauline.
02:37And what have you got over your lips there? What's all that?
02:40Oh, it's nothing.
02:42It's nothing.
02:43It's nothing.
02:44It's nothing.
02:45It's nothing.
02:46It's nothing.
02:47It's nothing.
02:48And what have you got over your lips there? What's all that?
02:52It's blackcurrant.
02:53You what?
02:54It's on your lips.
02:55Oh, blackcurrant.
02:56Oh, yeah, it's probably from my blackcurrant and pear nod. Sorry.
03:01Oh, thanks.
03:02Oh.
03:03Oh.
03:04Yeah, it's neat.
03:05See, let me, er...
03:06Let me wipe that off of, er...
03:11I haven't seen you for 12 years or more.
03:14I want to know all that's been happening.
03:17Nothing, you know, nothing really.
03:19I heard you got married to that Bobby Finch. Where's he now?
03:22He's down the Blackshaw Road.
03:24Oh, yeah, what, in them council flats?
03:26No, in a cemetery.
03:28You mean you didn't know?
03:30No, no, no, I'm terribly sorry. I am sorry.
03:32I didn't realise, you see, the last I heard that, you know, that you went to live abroad,
03:36so naturally I thought that you and that Bobby, like, had immigrated.
03:39No, after Bobby died, I went to San Francisco.
03:42It suited me, being away from familiar surroundings.
03:45I got a job as an air hostess.
03:47It's a good salary, uniform, free travel.
03:49Yeah, of course, that's in your blood, isn't it, eh?
03:51Cos your mum was a bus conductress.
03:56You never married yourself, Del?
03:58No, no, no, I never fancied meself.
04:02No, no, no, it's...
04:07No, you know what I mean, I mean, what I mean is, you know, I never...
04:10I never met a girl that I cared all that much about, really, you know.
04:14Well, I mean, you know, well, there was one.
04:17But you don't see her?
04:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:20Well, I'm looking at her now.
04:26Where's my pork scratchies?
04:31Sorry, sorry, Rodney, I got distracted.
04:34Yeah, this is my brother, Rodney.
04:36You remember, you remember Rodney? He used to be a little scruff.
04:39Look at him now.
04:41He's a big scruff, isn't he?
04:44Do you remember Pauline?
04:45Yeah, I remember. Pauline Harris, isn't it?
04:47Yeah, yeah. Do you call yourself Mrs Finch now?
04:50No, I call myself Mrs Baker.
04:52I remarried, you see.
04:53Oh, I see.
04:54An American chap.
04:55Oh, I get you. Divorcee, eh?
04:57No, a widow.
04:58Blimey, what, he kicked the bucket and all, did he?
05:01No, I am sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry.
05:05She's put out about that, isn't that a shame, eh, Rodney?
05:07You know, she had two husbands die on her.
05:09Yeah, one more, she keeps a match ball.
05:14Excuse me a moment.
05:15Yeah, yeah, of course.
05:16I'm just going to powder my nose.
05:18Yeah, you are.
05:19Hurry back, won't you?
05:20Of course, you know, I'll be waiting.
05:24Yes, of course, Pauline, hurry back, Pauline.
05:26Can I pull the chain for you, Pauline? You're making me sick.
05:30You're very hostile towards Pauline, ain't you?
05:32Well, can you blame me?
05:33Can you blame me?
05:34I remember how she treated you when you was engaged.
05:36I may only have been a little nip-a-dill, but I remember how she screwed you up.
05:39It was a long time ago, Rodney, wasn't it?
05:41When Pauline and me were engaged, we was mods.
05:44The only reason she left me was because she found a bloke with a faster Vespa.
05:48That's a fair reason.
05:49Yeah, it was in them days.
05:51You've got to understand the times, Rodney.
05:53In them days, I mean, teenage marriages broke up because the husband didn't like the ollies.
05:59But we're older now, you know.
06:01We're more mature. We've developed sensitivity and emotion.
06:06Oh, my God.
06:07Well, yeah, what would you know about it anyway, eh?
06:10You don't have romantic feelings, you.
06:12You just have animal urges.
06:15Sometimes I think you learn the art of seduction by watching wildlife on one.
06:21You've got to understand, Rodney, that, you know,
06:24deep down inside me,
06:27you're a very sensitive person.
06:30Yeah, I am. I am.
06:32Well, look at Last Christmas and that film, Love Story.
06:35Look how upset I got then.
06:36I got upset and all.
06:37Yeah, I know, I know. I got upset because Harley McGraw died.
06:40You got upset because Ryan O'Neal didn't.
06:45He's too good-looking, isn't he?
06:47What do you know about it anyway?
06:49What do you know? I am talking about men and women, I am.
06:52You, you're still knocking about with brownies.
06:54No, I'm not.
06:55Yes, you are. Leave it out.
06:57Some of your dates arrive by skateboard.
07:00Look, Del, all I'm trying to say is don't get hyped up with that Pauline again.
07:05She'll screw you up, you mark my words.
07:09Look, Rodney, a lot of water has run under the bridge since me and Pauline broke up.
07:16I know what it's all about now.
07:18You know, I understand the rules of the game.
07:22I know you're concerned for me.
07:24I know you're trying to give me your advice.
07:27But how can I put it?
07:31Shove it, Rodney.
07:33Shove it.
07:46Still boys late, isn't he, Rodney?
07:48I wouldn't worry about it, Grandad.
07:50I'll give him another 15 minutes, then start phoning round the morgues.
07:53What do you mean, the morgues?
07:55Well, there's something about that Pauline that kills him off.
07:57I think she must be a carrier or something.
08:00It's bad news him meeting her again this afternoon.
08:03I remember the last time she hooked him.
08:06I mean, up till then, we was doing all right.
08:09Well, your mum had died and your dad had run off and left you.
08:12But other than that tickety-boo.
08:14Right.
08:15Del was out wheeling and dealing and we was coming along nice.
08:19Then she turned up.
08:21I never seen anyone change their fasters, Del boy.
08:25He was besotted with her.
08:28They was engaged within the week.
08:30Broke up within the month.
08:32Little Cal was out skylarking around with other fellas.
08:36Del had more fights than John Wayne.
08:40Well, up till then, he was always a strong believer in God and all that.
08:46I mean, he didn't go to church nor nothing.
08:49No, didn't carry it to ridiculous lengths.
08:52But he always give the church a good few quid towards their fund for a new roof.
08:57He said it was a penance, seeing as I was him what nicked the old one.
09:03But after that, he lost faith.
09:07Shh, act natural. Stay vaguely at them tellies, right, and no questions.
09:11Ah!
09:13Da-da-da-da-da-da!
09:15LAUGHTER
09:17Come on, mate, you're just too funny.
09:19LAUGHTER
09:26Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:28Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
09:30Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
09:32Gentlemen, attention, gentlemen.
09:35Gentlemen and grandad, I have an announcement to make.
09:39Pauline and I are engaged to be married.
09:43Don't all bust a blood vessel there, will you, eh?
09:48That's terrific, Dale.
09:50We'll have to put an announcement in the exchange of Mark.
09:53That's a lovely idea. That's a super...
09:56Go and get some glasses. We'll celebrate, all right?
09:59Celebrate, yeah.
10:01You think I'm going to celebrate my only brother getting hiked up to a gold digger?
10:05Listen, listen, motor-mouth.
10:08I know you don't like Pauline.
10:10Oh, does he notice that much?
10:12Yes, he does. I know you don't like the idea, right?
10:16But she knows. That's what I want.
10:19Come on. Come on. Come on.
10:22Come on, have a drink, eh? Have a drink, eh?
10:25Yeah, yeah. I'll get some glasses.
10:28Get some glasses, that's it.
10:30Grandad, what are you feeling, Grandad?
10:32I ain't saying a word, Dale boy.
10:34You want to put yourself in lumber for the rest of your life,
10:37that's entirely up to you.
10:39I'm saying nothing.
10:41Hey, listen, you haven't heard the best part yet.
10:43Listen, this is a double celebration
10:45because not only have I got engaged to Pauline,
10:49but my bride-to-be has kindly condescended
10:53to come and live with us.
10:57Well, don't say your congratulations then, will you?
10:59All right.
11:05Say something, Grandad.
11:07There's a film on the other side.
11:09Lots of people get killed in it.
11:26I cleaned that table today.
11:28Good.
11:31I cleaned that table today.
11:33Good. It won't make my pencils dirty, will it?
11:39Dale.
11:40What?
11:42Rodney.
11:44Oh, that was divine, my love. That was divine.
11:47That was, well, was pas de calais, as they say in France.
11:51Long time since we had a steak like that, eh, Rodney?
11:54Hell of a long time, Dale. Me and Grandad had corned beef.
11:57Corned beef?
11:59I'm not cooking for them two as well, Derek.
12:02I cook for you and me and you and me only.
12:04I didn't come here to be a skippy.
12:06No, no, no, I know, my love.
12:08I know, my pet.
12:09The thing is, when I gave you the housekeeping money
12:11at the beginning of the week,
12:12I meant for you to get some grub for them and all.
12:14I did. I got corned beef.
12:16Ah. Yeah.
12:18There you are. See?
12:19You like a little bit of corned beef, don't you, Grandad?
12:25What's up with you then, eh?
12:26It's her, isn't it?
12:27What?
12:28She's eaten my teeth.
12:34Yeah.
12:35What are you eating his teeth for then, Petal?
12:38Oh, you don't know what it's like in this place.
12:40Well, you and Rodney are out at the auctions or the market,
12:43but I'm stuck here with him.
12:45He's nibbling all day long.
12:48There'll be nothing left if I let him carry on.
12:50Don't worry, he gets his teeth back at mealtimes.
12:54Yeah, all right, well, you know best, eh, Petal?
12:57OK.
13:03Why don't you and Grandad go out, Rodney?
13:06I wouldn't mind being alone for once.
13:08You want to be left alone?
13:09Of course.
13:10Well, I'll go with him. Come on, Grandad.
13:13I'll be alone with you.
13:14Oh, I see.
13:15But we never have any time to ourselves in this place.
13:18No time to yourselves?
13:19You spend most of your lives in that bedroom.
13:21Giant pandas make quicker than you two.
13:24Please, enough.
13:26Ever since I moved in here,
13:27all we ever seem to do of an evening is sit here
13:29watching them rotten televisions.
13:32And that's another thing.
13:33Why does he watch two televisions?
13:35Cos the other one's been mended.
13:38You mean he normally watches three?
13:40Yeah.
13:41He's going senile.
13:43Yeah.
13:45Well, wouldn't he be happier with company of his own age?
13:48You're not bringing your granny round here to live with us, are you?
13:51I was thinking of a home.
13:52He's already got a home.
13:54I know a very nice place down near Thames Ditton.
13:56Bobby Finch's grandad died there.
14:00Can't put him in a home, Pauline.
14:02He's family.
14:04I'll be a family soon.
14:06You go in and home then.
14:08I don't want to go in no home, Rodney. I might catch stomach.
14:11Don't you worry, Grandad. We're staying put.
14:13Well, the only alternative is for us to buy a house of our own.
14:17What, me? Buy a house?
14:18No, no, I couldn't do that.
14:20Couldn't do that.
14:21Don't you see that as soon as I put my signature on a document,
14:23the authorities are going to know that I'm alive.
14:27And round here, after their pound of flesh, quicker than the mafia.
14:30You can do what my other husbands did.
14:32Put their house in my name.
14:34Nobody's going to think it's strange me buying a house.
14:36Not with all the money I got on the life insurances.
14:39Have you got your life insured, dear?
14:41No.
14:42Never thought about dying before.
14:46Well, we'll have to sort that out.
14:47A wife needs protection.
14:49Especially with your luck, Pauline.
14:53I fancy an early night, Del.
14:55Oh, no, what again?
14:59Come on.
15:00Yes, all right, my love. A petal.
15:05Listen, you two. Hey!
15:14You ready, Grandad?
15:15Yeah. I just want to see what happens first.
15:18Eh? Now, don't start making excuses.
15:20We both agree we're not wanted here no more,
15:22so let's get out before Del wakes up.
15:24We can't go without saying goodbye to him.
15:27No, all right, we'll say goodbye, then we'll get on our way.
15:30Is Del up yet?
15:32No, he's still in bed.
15:33He needs his sleep, he had a bad night.
15:35Yeah, it didn't sound too bad from where I was.
15:39I'll go and wake him up.
15:40I'll wake him, Rodney.
15:42I don't want you going in that room.
15:45That's my mum's room.
15:46It used to be your mum's room, Rodney,
15:48but it's mine now and I don't want to see you in there.
15:50Is that understood?
15:51Jawohl, mein Opfergolpenführer.
15:53That's your age, Rodney.
15:56Why don't you bike it, you old bag?
16:00You know why she don't want us in there, don't you?
16:03Probably filled up with her devices of sexual torture.
16:06I bet poor Del's in there now, bound and gagged,
16:08wearing a rubber mask, a loincloth
16:10and being threatened with French lessons.
16:13Maybe that's why he's been looking a bit seedy lately.
16:16Yeah, and it's hardly through lack of food, is it?
16:18I mean, look, they're a third world nation
16:20to give up their mineral rights for what's on that plate.
16:23I wonder what happened to his fried slice.
16:25Perhaps he didn't want it.
16:27His stomach's been a bit dicky, hasn't it?
16:29That's true.
16:34Hello?
16:35Oh, hello, Trigg.
16:36Yeah, hang on, I'll get him.
16:38Pauline!
16:39Untie Del, will you? He's wanted.
16:42I'm up, I'm up.
16:44What do you mean, untied Del, anyway?
16:46Nothing.
16:47Who is it?
16:48It's Trigg.
16:49Oh, hello, Trigg. What do you want?
16:51No, no, no, he didn't disturb me.
16:53I had to get up anyway. I was wanted on the phone.
16:55Del?
16:56Hang on a minute, will you, Trigg?
16:57Cut it out.
16:58I'm just popping down for a duel.
17:00He's put a deposit on that ring I saw.
17:02What? Another one?
17:03You've been engaged five times, married twice.
17:05You must have more rings than Bravingtons.
17:07Just shut it, Rodney.
17:08I mean, what is it with you, eh?
17:10Are you trying to corner the world's gold market
17:12or have you just got a thing about wedding cakes?
17:14I'll bang you one in a minute. Leave her alone, will you?
17:16Don't forget you've got to arrange a medical for your life insurance.
17:19I'll see you down at the estate agent's.
17:21We can go on to the bank from there.
17:23All right, darling. Yeah.
17:27Zip hole!
17:28Cut it out!
17:29What have you been doing? Sniffing that glue again, have you?
17:32Oh, dear.
17:33Hello, sorry about that, Trigg.
17:35Yeah, no, just Rodney having one of his fits.
17:37Anyway, what do you want to phone me about?
17:39Eh?
17:41I mean, it's a delicate matter.
17:43Eh?
17:44No, I know you remember me.
17:46No, I won't say that you're interfering.
17:49I promise I won't tell you to mind your own business.
17:51Just say what you want to say, will you?
17:54Yeah?
17:56Oh, did I?
17:59Did you?
18:01Did he?
18:03Well, listen, Trigg.
18:05Why don't you mind your own bloody business, eh?
18:07Who do you think you are, interfering, eh?
18:09Look, you just keep your nose out of it, all right, pal?
18:14That's Trigg keeping.
18:17Do you know what he had the audacity to say?
18:19He phoned me up to say that he heard last night
18:21that the police had investigated Bobby Finch's death.
18:24Apparently, he died of food poisoning.
18:27Food poisoning.
18:28Oh.
18:30Your breakfast's getting cold, Dale, boy.
18:35Yeah.
18:37Yeah.
18:38Thanks, Grandad.
18:40Yeah, well...
18:41Do you know what? I think I'm putting on a bit of weight.
18:43I think I... I think I'll go on a diet.
18:45Get off. There's no calories in Weed Killer.
18:51You make me die, you do.
18:54I suppose you think that Pauline's gone window shopping at Rent-A-Kills.
18:58Oh, well, I'm going, Dad.
19:00I'm making arrangements for my medical. I'll see you two later.
19:02No, you won't, Dale.
19:04Me and Grandad have had it up to here. We're getting out.
19:06What do you mean, you're leaving?
19:09No, leave it out, Rodney.
19:11What are you going to do for money?
19:13We'll get by. We're thinking of forming a partnership.
19:15Partnership?
19:16A partnership, you and Grandad?
19:18God, leave it out, Rodney.
19:20What have you been doing, sitting on your brains again?
19:22You must have noticed at some time or another that he doesn't move.
19:27You know he made the front page of The Lancet, don't you?
19:29As being the only living man in history to be treated for rigor mortis.
19:34Where are you going to go, anyway?
19:35Aunty Rose's in Clacton.
19:37Aunty Rose's in Clacton?
19:39Yeah. Grandad says we can go there any time.
19:41Oh, did he? Oh, did he?
19:43Well, you'd better go there now, then, hadn't you, eh?
19:45Go on. The pair of you, get on your bike. Go on.
19:48Before Pauline comes back with me deadly nightshade.
19:55Rodney.
19:57Oh, come on.
19:59Don't believe all that rubbish about food poisoning, do you?
20:02Course not.
20:04Eat your mushrooms, Del.
20:11Rodney.
20:12We're not coming back, Del.
20:13No, hang about. I'm coming with you.
20:22Come on, Rodney. You bring the suitcases.
20:24Grandpa, you carry the light stuff, OK?
20:28Surprise, surprise.
20:30Hello, Aunty. Bet you're surprised to see us, eh, love?
20:32Come on, come on. Bring that in, you two.
20:36Oh, yes.
20:38Very nice.
20:41Here we are.
20:43Here, Grandad, change the channels over, will you?
20:45There's racing on off us, too.
20:51Where did you put that note to Pauline, then?
20:53I just put,
20:54My dearest darling Pauline,
20:56The engagement's off, the wedding's off,
20:58And as you can gather from this letter, I'm off.
21:00I'll give you five clear days to get out of the flat,
21:03And do not ever come back, you money-grabbing old murderess.
21:06All my love, Del boy.
21:08And then lots of kisses.
21:09I didn't bring it quite as nicely as that,
21:11But that was the gist of the idea, yeah.
21:13God knows what we'll go back to.
21:15She must probably smash that flat to pieces.
21:17Have you had enough?
21:18Mmm.
21:19That was handsome.
21:20Handsome? Well, it was...
21:21Champs-Élysées, as the French say.
21:24Now, listen, Aunty.
21:26Now, listen, Aunty.
21:27We're going to be here for about five days,
21:29So what I want you to do is,
21:31Take this money here like that, put that in your pinny,
21:33Because I don't want you spending your own money on us.
21:35All right?
21:36Well, that's very nice of you.
21:39Do you mind if I ask you something?
21:41Well, of course not.
21:42Meneer-detra?
21:44No, fire away.
21:46Who are you?
21:52Who are we?
21:54Mate, we've been in your house for five hours.
21:57Had all your shepherd's pie and had a bath each,
21:59And you don't know who we are.
22:00Well, I didn't like to ask,
22:02Because you seem to know me.
22:06Well, we're Joanie's boys.
22:08Aren't we?
22:09Well, I mean, he isn't.
22:10No, no.
22:11You know, Joanie, my mum,
22:13Married Reg Trotter.
22:15You were at the wedding.
22:16Don't remember you.
22:17No, no, no.
22:19Of course you wouldn't remember me.
22:20Not at me mum's wedding.
22:22I was only a babe in arms.
22:24You said come down any time.
22:27When was this then?
22:281947.
22:31So, here we are.
22:33Yeah.
22:34You must remember the wedding.
22:36It was at that big church.
22:38You know, Our Lady of the Divine Rosemary.
22:41Yeah, Peckham.
22:43Peckham?
22:44I've never been to Peckham in me life.
22:47I think you should mention it though,
22:48Because the lady what owned the cottage before me,
22:50She came from Peckham.
22:53Aunty Rose has moved.
22:55Well, who's this then?
22:56God knows.
22:58Joanie.
22:59Joanie Ollins.
23:01Married a Jamaican fella.
23:03Eh?
23:04Yeah, yeah.
23:06Yeah, but you don't look very...
23:08We're adopted.
23:09Oh.
23:11Would you like some apple pie?
23:13That would be smashing Aunty.
23:21Shh, come on.
23:23Come on, come in here.
23:25Listen.
23:26Shh, be alert.
23:28Pauline could come rushing out of any one of those rooms in there,
23:32Brandishing her mother of pearl handle flick knife.
23:35Be like Psycho in a tower block.
23:38Shh, listen.
23:40I'll take the living room.
23:42Rodney, you take the bedroom.
23:43Grandad, you take the kitchen.
23:45Right, and good luck.
23:47Right.
23:50Go on, my son, go on, go on.
24:06She's not in the bedrooms.
24:07Eh?
24:08She done any damage?
24:09No.
24:10All the beds are neatly made.
24:11She's even been round with the over.
24:12She's not in the kitchen.
24:13Not clean and tidy out there.
24:15What's her game then, eh?
24:17What is her game?
24:18There's no way that that Pauline would leave this flat
24:20Without doing something really nasty to me, eh?
24:26No, no.
24:27That'd be daft.
24:28Where would she get a bomb from, eh?
24:30Hey, there's a letter here.
24:32It's addressed to that no-good-lying two-faced creepo.
24:35Oh, that'll be for me, Rodney.
24:40Let's have a look, see what she's got to say for herself then, eh?
24:43Right, here we are.
24:45Oh, well.
24:46Well, that's more like the Pauline I know and love.
24:49Oh, dear, look at that.
24:51Look at the language here.
24:53You'd think an ex-heir hostess would know how to spell better than that.
24:56Look at that, hey?
24:57Is that true?
24:58Oh, no.
25:02Did Pauline really mean that much to you?
25:06No, no.
25:08Not really.
25:10No, somehow it wasn't quite the same.
25:13Sometimes I think I'm not really cut out for this falling-in-love lark.
25:25I've got a confession to make, Del.
25:27You know that phone call from Trigg,
25:29the one about the police investigation into food poisoning?
25:33Well, it was a wind-up. Me and Grandad put him up to it.
25:36We did it for you, Del.
25:42You put him up to it?
25:44It was nothing to do with me, Del. I only suggested it.
25:49No, he only suggested it.
25:51We was only thinking of you, Del.
25:53You was only thinking of me, you couple of rascals!
26:01What am I going to do with you two, eh?
26:03Hey, what am I going to do with you?
26:04Well, I got you out of stock, didn't I?
26:06Yeah, we're all on our own. We don't need no birds.
26:09No, no.
26:10No, if you say so, Grandad.
26:12Here, go on, go on. Put the kettle on, eh?
26:14Yeah, yeah.
26:16Look at this girl, the way she spells. Look at that pato.
26:19It's not pato, it's PTO. It's please turn over.
26:22I know what please turn over means, don't I, PTO?
26:26I'm not illiterate and all that.
26:29There's someone on the phone. It's Tim.
26:31Tim who?
26:32Tim the talking clock.
26:35Here.
26:37Oh, the cow!
26:38She only phoned the talking clock before she left.
26:41And this is...
26:42God, Bennett, this is dated four days ago.
26:46I don't want to worry you, Del, but this Tim's got a funny accent.
26:53She only phoned the talking clock in America, don't she?
26:56You mean you're connected to America?
26:59It's amazing, isn't it?
27:02Hello!
27:03Hey, Nina!