Frasier Season 11 Episode 10 Sea Bee Jeebies
Frasier Season 11 Episode 10 Sea Bee Jeebies
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00:00Hey, you looking a little under the weather.
00:05You alright?
00:07He most certainly is not.
00:09He dined on that lovely can of bacon fat you've been hiding under the sink.
00:12Oh, gee. Poor little guy.
00:16You know, bacon grease is bad for dogs.
00:20Ironic, considering its vast health benefits for humans.
00:25Oh, hello.
00:30Sorry we're late.
00:32Oh, that's alright. We're not having lunch until 1.15.
00:35Oh, great.
00:37Long night, Niles?
00:39Oh, a bit. We were out at a party last night.
00:43At Bill Gates's house.
00:45Really?
00:49Some sort of charity event?
00:54No, no. Just a few people over for dinner.
01:00His wife has been following Maris's case, and she wanted to meet us.
01:06It seems the story's captured everyone's imagination.
01:09People want to get the inside scoop.
01:12Their house is enormous.
01:14I got lost going to the loo, but a voice in the wall guided me back.
01:23Sounds like fun.
01:25Anyway, I thought after lunch we might stop by the museum for the Goya exhibit.
01:30Actually, we're going tomorrow night with the Blankensops.
01:35Tomorrow? But the museum's closed tomorrow.
01:39Oh, not for Bunny and Bruce.
01:43Oh.
01:45With all the rarefied elbows you've been rubbing lately,
01:48I'm surprised you could find the time for lunch with a commoner like me.
01:52Oh, now, stop. But if we could get going, I have a perfume launch at four.
02:00Oh.
02:04It's a pretty lady holding some mail.
02:08Oh, you didn't pull that trick again, did you?
02:11I've no idea what you're talking about.
02:14Step aside. Don't want to slip it under the door.
02:19Hello.
02:20Hi. Sorry to disturb you. Some of your mail got mixed in with mine.
02:23Oh, dear. How did that happen?
02:25I don't know. Some of it just seemed to be jammed in there.
02:27Uh-huh.
02:30Really? Well, you know, we must make allowances for our mailman. He's a veteran.
02:37So, my name's Dr. Fraser Crane.
02:40Caroline Harwish.
02:41Nice to meet you. And this is my family. My father, Martin Crane.
02:45Hi.
02:46My sister-in-law, Daphne, and my brother, Niles.
02:50You look awfully familiar. Have we met?
02:52Well, I am somewhat of a media figure.
02:54No, your brother.
02:58You're Niles Crane from that big murder case. I saw you on the news.
03:02He's been on three times this week. He's practically famous.
03:07Hardly famous.
03:09My brother doesn't like to toot his own horn.
03:12You know, I was discussing that very personality type today on my very popular radio show.
03:18Oh, right, right. Dr. Fraser Crane.
03:21Yes.
03:22Yes, my mother listens to you.
03:23Oh.
03:27Well, anyway, it was nice meeting you all.
03:29Yes, likewise.
03:30Take care.
03:31Bye-bye.
03:32Yes, bye.
03:34You know, Ann, isn't it nice to know there are still honest people in the world?
03:37I hope your mail never gets mixed up with that sweaty fat guy's upstairs.
03:44We should really be going.
03:45Yes, yes.
03:46You know, I'm afraid we'll have to be lunching at Vindaloo. I couldn't get us in at La Tocque.
03:51Oh, no.
03:53Well, you know, maybe I should call. I've had the best luck with restaurants lately.
03:58Well, they swore that they were absolutely book solid.
04:01Oh, dear.
04:03Hello. Yes, wondering if you could possibly squeeze in three for lunch today.
04:09That's Dr. Crane.
04:11No, actually, Niles.
04:13Oh, how lovely. Thank you. We'll see you in a bit.
04:31Oh, hey, Frase.
04:32Oh, hi.
04:33I'm so sorry about this show. I was a little distracted.
04:36Oh, yes, I sensed that when you passed through Wanda who wanted to know what our soup of the day was.
04:43My sister Denise is in town. I hate it when she visits.
04:47She isn't happy until she makes me feel completely miserable.
04:50Do you know what she called my place?
04:53Cozy.
04:55Well, that's a compliment.
04:57No, it's code for smaller than hers.
05:00Cappuccino, please.
05:02She wraps every insult up in a compliment.
05:06When I try to call her on it, she just says,
05:08Hon, I was trying to be nice. You're so sensitive.
05:12And, of course, everything in her life is so perfect.
05:16Her home, her husband, her stretch of highway she keeps clean.
05:24She's so competitive.
05:27Well, if it's any comfort, no one else has been perfectly insufferable of late.
05:32This whole marriage affair has gave him some mild notoriety.
05:37He's been flaunting it like a tattered boa.
05:42I'm trying to do the right thing and rise above it, of course,
05:44but there are times when I just want to step on his feet, and hard, too.
05:49Denise.
05:51Hello, Denise.
05:53Hi.
05:54It's good to see you.
05:56Well, you are looking very distinguished.
06:00That's code for old.
06:02I know.
06:06I am so sorry I'm late.
06:09Craig called, the poor thing.
06:11He misses me so much, it's just impossible to get him off the phone.
06:16I hope this makes it up to you.
06:19Now, Roz, I know you love your sportswear,
06:23but trust me, men like women who wear dresses once in a while.
06:29So you've said.
06:31Denise, are you having fun on your trip?
06:33Oh, yes.
06:34Staying with Roz is always so much fun.
06:36It's sort of like camping.
06:42Hello?
06:45It's my contractors.
06:47Take my advice, never build a pool house.
06:50No.
06:53Hon, I picked us up a Seattle magazine,
06:56so we could find some fun things to do this week.
07:00Does that include rolling it up, turning it sideways?
07:03No, Roz.
07:06At least she's trying.
07:07She did get you a gift, after all.
07:09And look, it's very chic and expensive, I'm sure.
07:13And two sizes too small.
07:15All right, she's a bitch.
07:19Hey, hey, it's Mr. Seabees.
07:22The nominations are in?
07:23Yep.
07:24To them!
07:25Oh, Roz!
07:26Oh, yay!
07:28Actually, Roz, they're both for free.
07:30You're up for Best Host and Best Informational Special,
07:33which gives you the lifetime record for most nominations.
07:37Oh, my God.
07:39I'm so flattered.
07:41I hope you two will join me at my table.
07:43Ugh, those awards are endless.
07:45They're torture.
07:46Can I bring my sister?
07:47Of course.
07:49Oh, look.
07:51It's Niles.
07:54You gonna tell him you broke the Seabees record?
07:56If it comes up.
07:59You know, Doc, we should take advantage of this thing.
08:01I got a friend at the Seattle Times who owes me one.
08:04I could ask him to write a big profile on you.
08:08No, Kenny.
08:09Let others engage in that sort of shameless self-promotion.
08:12I'm not interested in playing that sort of game.
08:16Oh, Niles.
08:17Hi.
08:18Listen, Fraser, I'm so sorry.
08:19I have to cancel tonight.
08:21I'm going to go hear Tony Bennett.
08:23Oh, really?
08:25Really?
08:26Where's he playing?
08:27At Frank Gehry's birthday party.
08:32Well, speaking of glamorous parties, Niles, wait till...
08:35Oh, you know, it's that Seattle magazine.
08:37I was hoping you hadn't seen it.
08:39Seen what?
08:41Oh, nothing.
08:42Nothing.
08:43It's a silly thing.
08:44It's page 30.
08:47Oh, it's one of those what's hot, what's not lists.
08:49I love these.
08:50Heirloom tomatoes, hot.
08:52Sun-dried tomatoes, not hot.
08:54Give me that.
08:55Give me that.
08:59Dr. Niles, crane, hot.
09:01Dr. Fraser, crane.
09:02Well, you can see where they're going with this.
09:06Well, we'll just see who's not hot
09:09when the winter spring edition of Seattle Broadway
09:12comes out.
09:13For your information, Niles, I have recently...
09:15Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
09:16I'm going to get some coffee.
09:17Oh, dear.
09:21Oh, hello.
09:22Hello, Daphne.
09:25A delivery from Bill and Mindy.
09:28Aren't they sweet?
09:30No, don't uncrate it till I get home.
09:37Kenny, about that article.
09:39Kenny, about that article.
09:41Way ahead of you, Doc.
09:43No, he'll make for a great profile
09:45as CB's record holder, doctor, big ladies man.
09:49The whole ball of wax.
09:52Well, you can ask him yourself.
09:56Hello.
09:57Yes, well, when would be a good time for you?
10:00Oh, I've just had the greatest idea.
10:02Why don't you interview me while we're at the CB Awards?
10:06Yes, it'll be a freewheeling chat
10:08against a glittering backdrop.
10:11Splendid.
10:12I will see you anon.
10:17Hey.
10:19No, he always talks like that.
10:23Why are you taking him to the CB's?
10:25Because I want him to see me at my best, Ross.
10:27Do you realize I'm giving the opening remarks this year?
10:30And if I do say so myself, they will change you.
10:33Yeah, from an awake person to a sleeping one.
10:38Oh, perfect.
10:40All I was lacking was the appropriate piece of arm candy
10:43to accompany me.
10:44And there she is.
10:46Who's she?
10:47It's a neighbor of mine in the building
10:49whose acquaintance I have recently made.
10:51Oh, right, Daphne told me you pulled that old mail trick
10:53out of mothballs.
10:57Caroline.
10:59Fraser, hello.
11:00Hi, good to see you.
11:02A cappuccino to go.
11:04Thank you so much for those flowers.
11:06Oh, gosh, it was the least I could do
11:08after that stumble-bum of a mailman
11:10made you do his job for him.
11:12Oh, I'd send him a complaint letter if I think you'd get it.
11:15Oh, that's delightful.
11:19Listen, um, I hope this isn't too bold,
11:23but you see, I've been nominated
11:25for a broadcast award twice, actually,
11:27and I was...
11:29Well, there's a...
11:30There's a black-tie dollar on Saturday night.
11:32I was hoping you could accompany me.
11:34Oh, thank you. I'd love to.
11:36Oh, fantastic.
11:38I'll pick you up around 7.30.
11:42Well, I've worked my magic.
11:46That magnificent creature
11:48will be accompanying me on Saturday night.
11:50Fraser, the awards are Saturday morning.
11:56Well, of course they're not.
11:58Yes, they are.
11:59Well, who would ever plan an awards ceremony
12:01on a Saturday morning?
12:03Kenny was in charge this year.
12:04He booked the room too late.
12:08See you this weekend.
12:09Uh, yeah, bye-bye.
12:11Oh, don't forget, I'll pick you up
12:147.30, Saturday morning.
12:16Bye-bye.
12:23Saturday morning?
12:25Yes, yes, did I...
12:27I did mention that, didn't I?
12:29Oh, gosh.
12:30It seems that CBS is going to be
12:32a cheery breakfast event this year,
12:35but the good news is, actually,
12:36I'll be able to get you home by noon.
12:39Bye-bye.
12:40Yeah, I don't think that's going to work for me.
12:43I have lotties on Saturdays.
12:46Oh.
12:48Gosh, I wish it said something sooner.
12:53Sorry.
12:54Bye-bye.
12:55Yeah.
12:57Oh, you can't blame her.
12:59Are you sure?
13:00He wants to get in the hair and makeup
13:01at 8 o'clock in the morning.
13:02Oh, somebody better.
13:04I'm being profiled.
13:06It's going to look like I can't even
13:07scare up a date.
13:08You scared that one pretty good.
13:24Cindy, where are you?
13:26Oh, listen, this thing's about to start.
13:30Well, I'm sorry you broke your heel,
13:32but can't you just put on
13:33a different pair of shoes?
13:35Oh.
13:37Your actual heel.
13:38Ouch.
13:41Well, um...
13:43Feel better.
13:46Roz?
13:47Are you sure this dress didn't fit you?
13:50Because I'm just swimming in it.
13:54Two Bloody Marys, please,
13:55and there's a 20 in it for you
13:56if one of them's poison.
13:57I don't even care which one.
14:00That's a face I'm happy to see.
14:02Not you, Roz.
14:04Denise, listen,
14:05could you do me a small favor?
14:08You see, my date didn't show up,
14:11and there's a reporter here today
14:13doing a story on me,
14:14and could you pretend to be my date?
14:17Well, sure.
14:18First the valet hits on me,
14:20and now this.
14:22Hi, guys.
14:23Oh, hi.
14:24Look at that.
14:25I got pigs in a blanket
14:26lying on an omelet pillow.
14:28And check it out.
14:30It's snowed cheese.
14:33Oh, Roz,
14:34Larry Gamba couldn't make it,
14:35so if he wins,
14:36can you accept for him?
14:37Sure, Kenny.
14:38Nothing takes the sting
14:39out of not being nominated
14:41like accepting an award
14:42for my former intern.
14:44Now, Roz, don't frown.
14:47Those lines don't go away.
14:50Oh, hey, there.
14:51Randy.
14:52Over here.
14:53The reporter.
14:54Here he is,
14:55the doc himself.
14:56Lovely to see you.
14:57Thanks for coming.
14:58And this is Roz Doyle,
14:59his ace producer.
15:00Yes, yes,
15:01and this is my dad,
15:02Martin Crane.
15:03Dad, could you move over
15:04one for Randall?
15:05Oh, sure.
15:06Thank you, Kenny, yes.
15:07Here we are,
15:08and I'd like you to meet my date,
15:10lovely and talented Denise Dawson.
15:12Oh, honey, stop it.
15:14It's a pleasure to meet you.
15:16Very nice to meet you.
15:19So, I'm so glad
15:20you could join us
15:21on our gala morning.
15:22Is this thing always so early?
15:24No, but then the Seabees
15:25have always been the
15:26wayward maverick of award shows.
15:29See, in fact,
15:30I plan to touch on that
15:31in my opening remarks
15:33while hewing to my original theme
15:36of communication
15:38as the engine of social progress.
15:40Sounds great.
15:42Could I get a big cup of coffee, please?
15:48What's Niles doing, Ken?
15:50Oh, I gave him Ronnie's ticket.
15:51She said she hated to miss it,
15:52but she didn't want to come.
15:56You know, I'm sorry I'm late.
15:58I had to distribute
15:59some sound bites.
16:01That's quite all right, Dr. Crane.
16:02I'm very excited to meet you.
16:04Randall Schoonover
16:05of the Seattle Times.
16:06Hello.
16:07He's doing a profile of me,
16:09a day in the life
16:10of Dr. Frasier Crane.
16:11But if there's anything
16:12you'd like to tell my readers...
16:13Oh, thank you.
16:14I'm just here
16:15to support my brother.
16:17Supports his brother.
16:22Oh, I guess it's time for me
16:24to give my opening remarks.
16:28You just sit tight,
16:31and I'll be back in 20 minutes.
16:38You want to give me a cue
16:39so I know when to play you offstage?
16:41Ah, you will feel the pace quicken
16:43as I build to my climax,
16:45which is a grim, verbal picture
16:47of the world without broadcasting.
16:49Just tell me the last words.
16:52I'll say thank you.
16:59Good morning.
17:01I'm Dr. Frasier Crane,
17:02and it is my great honor
17:04to stand before you,
17:06my fellow luminaries,
17:08and welcome you
17:09to the Seattle Broadcasting Awards.
17:12I hope to do justice
17:13to the dignity
17:14of this most august occasion.
17:19Oh, God.
17:25I have been asked to inform everyone
17:27that we are running
17:29low on sausage.
17:34So if you would please limit yourselves
17:36to one,
17:39Link or Patty.
17:44How could I not see it?
17:47Thanks, Frasier.
17:48Oh, thank you.
17:50Oh, my.
17:52Now, who wants to hand out
17:54some hardware?
17:57Angela DiStefano,
18:02Keith Meebly,
18:07and Chet Hardy,
18:09the legendary host
18:10of It's Your Dawn.
18:14So many greats this year.
18:16This is for you, my dear.
18:22Hello?
18:23Oh, hi, Craig.
18:26Um, honey,
18:28I've got to take this, okay?
18:30Okay.
18:31Uh, hurry back, love.
18:35So, Randall, where were we?
18:37Your brother was just telling me
18:38how Maris is coping with jail.
18:40So, is it true
18:43that Maris tried to break out?
18:45Oh, no, no, no.
18:47Her eyebrow pencil
18:49simply rolled out of her cell
18:50and she went to get it.
18:52It's really the jail's fault
18:53for making those bars so far apart.
18:58This is really my brother's day.
19:01And now the nominees
19:02for Best Informational Special.
19:05Doc, this is you.
19:07Riley Austin
19:08for Underground Skateboarder.
19:12Harper Norton
19:13for Inside the Statehouse.
19:17And Dr. Frasier Crane
19:18for The Young Person's Guide
19:20to Depression.
19:22And the winner is...
19:27Riley Austin!
19:30I'm just going to crack down
19:31some sweetened milk.
19:34Well, Miles,
19:35you should have powdered your nose
19:37if you plan to spend so much time
19:38in my spotlight.
19:39I was just making conversation.
19:42Well, stop it!
19:43Knock it off, you two.
19:45You can't share this report
19:46or I'm going to ask him to leave.
19:48Roz, get ready.
19:49This is Larry's category.
19:51I can't believe that this happened.
19:54Well, it happened.
19:55It happened.
19:57I can't believe that this happened.
20:00Well, it's all right.
20:01I'm still up for Best Host.
20:04Craig, he's leaving me.
20:07What?
20:09He met someone else.
20:12I can't believe
20:13this is happening to me.
20:15And the winner is
20:16Larry Gamba for KACL.
20:20Roz, get up there.
20:22This is so terrible.
20:24I know, I know.
20:26How would you know
20:28what it's like to lose a husband, Roz?
20:30You never even had one.
20:32Accepting the award is Roz Doyle.
20:39Um, thanks, Mom.
20:42Um, Larry couldn't be here today,
20:45but if he were here,
20:47he would say, um...
20:50Yes!
20:53Thank you, God!
20:55Yes!
20:56This is the best day of my entire life!
21:00I've just been waiting for this
21:02since I was a little girl!
21:04Yes!
21:05You have no idea
21:07how much this means to me!
21:09Yes!
21:15Thank you so much.
21:19I hate men.
21:22Now, now, Denise.
21:24Shut up, you're all the same.
21:26No, listen, Denise, I know you...
21:28Get your hands off me!
21:30Stop it!
21:33There's no need for you to write that down.
21:36And now the nominees
21:37for best radio call-in host.
21:39Better get ready, Doc.
21:40This one has your name on it.
21:41Well, it better,
21:42because this whole show
21:43has been a nightmare.
21:44Not that it actually could be a nightmare,
21:46because it's mid-morning!
21:48Mid-morning!
21:50And Phoebe goes to...
21:54the late Chet Hardy
21:56for It's Your Dime.
22:01Sorry, son,
22:02you can't beat a dead guy.
22:04Dad, that's the best kind of guy.
22:07Well, I think maybe I have enough.
22:10Oh, no, please, don't go.
22:13Listen, the show will be over very soon,
22:15they actually have a bat mitzvah booked for noon,
22:17so maybe we could finish up in the lobby.
22:20Okay, I'll get my coat.
22:22I hope you can join us, Niles.
22:27Don't you dare!
22:30You have been monopolizing
22:31that man's time all morning.
22:33You should be thanking me
22:35for distracting him from this circus.
22:37You should talk,
22:38you've been the ringmaster
22:39of your own media circus for the last week.
22:41It's just killing you, isn't it?
22:44If you think I am jealous
22:45of your tawdry notoriety,
22:47then you don't know who I am.
22:49Just like most of the people in this city!
22:51You go too far!
22:59Doc, that's Jerry Edwards,
23:01he's supposed to close the show.
23:03Is he all right?
23:05Oh, no, you knocked his glass eye out.
23:09What are you going to have to close the show for?
23:11What?
23:12Well, you took him out,
23:14and you'll be the only guy in history
23:15to open and close the Seabees.
23:19Really?
23:21Nobody's ever done it before.
23:24But I don't have anything prepared.
23:26Don't worry, it's all on the teleprompter.
23:28Now get up there and sing!
23:30It's to the Tulum Moon River.
23:34I think I just kicked some...
23:43The Seabees
23:48Now are at an end
23:51We hope you've made a friend or two
23:57And the Seabees
24:01Have great freebies
24:04Just pick up your bag
24:07At the door to your right
24:10Found it!
24:11That's an olive.
24:13The Seabees
24:17We hope your day was great
24:20And yes, we validate
24:23Right there
24:26Siri, call
24:29Edward or Jen
24:35They'll bring it round the bend
24:39Sunday or a bend
24:42The Seabees
24:46Are through
25:02Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:05Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:08Oh my!
25:10And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:13Well, maybe
25:15But I got you pegged
25:17Ha ha ha ha
25:19But I don't know what to do
25:21With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:26They're calling again
25:30Good night!
25:35The Seabees