Frasier Season 9 Episode 5 Love Stinks
Frasier Season 9 Episode 5 Love Stinks
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00:00please and a vanilla lot. Oh dear, comfort food, what happened?
00:12Niles, do you think I'm elitist?
00:22Of course I do, you needn't worry about that. No, not in a good way. At work today
00:30I discovered an injurious graffito about me scrawled on the men's room wall. No.
00:42Quote, there once was a man, Fraser Crane, who says he can feel your pain but he
00:53acts like a snob to the guys at his job, and I think he's totally lame. That's
01:03terrible. There's a tense shift, an approximate rhyme, the scanton leaves a
01:11lot to be desired. No, you're missing the point. I have always striven to be
01:16approachable, the embodiment of the words, if you can talk with crowds and keep your
01:22virtue, or walk with kings, nor lose the common touch. Exactly. Thank you. If my
01:30Miliner truly knew who I was, then he would have found that a more apt
01:34characterization than snob. Assuming he's familiar with Kipling, what are the odds?
01:41Well, Ros, I didn't ask you to join us, but I see you already had happy hour. Well, here, please join us. So? Well, his name is Roger, and we've been kind of going out for the last couple of weeks.
02:08All right, tell us about him. He's very sweet, and he's a garbage man, so go ahead, make your jokes. What jokes? I mean, why does everyone assume I look down on the common man? Oh, I've got a good one, so even in his off time, he's taking out the trash.
02:30Technically, that's really more about Ros. Now, if I were to make a joke about him, which of course I wouldn't, I'd say he has a thing for Ros's can. Is it finished? Okay, okay. Thank you. And don't worry, I won't get dumped.
02:56I'd already passed on that. Yes, it was a bit on the nose. Dad, Daphne. Hey. Look what your father found, a picture of you in a teddy bear costume.
03:22Why do you have all this out? I was making room in the storage closet, and I found some of your old stuff. What else is in here? Well, here's your cap and your blazer from Bryce Academy. Oh, I bet you were the cutest thing in that. Well, here's a picture of me in it.
03:41Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Bobby Fisher's autograph. Well, son, it's been enough years. I can probably tell you the truth about that. What? Oh, look.
04:01A picture of you in your first Little League uniform. I don't know why I said first. Was that your game face? Oh, no, no. I just lost a tooth due to an errant pitch. Tell her who was pitching. I was.
04:32Flowers from your new bow. Yeah. Must be nice to be liked. Are you still obsessing over that limerick? People are making additions. Good Lord, I have read anthologies with fewer contributing authors. I'm sure they'll all wash right off.
04:59If only there were a solvent that could remove the stains they've left on my spirit. It was a joke. What's the big deal? Oh, yes, I know. Being written off on a bathroom wall is no big deal to you.
05:15But that limerick made a point, as all good limericks do. Seems to have resonated with everyone around here. I want these people to know the real Frasier Crane. Wouldn't it be better if you tried to make them like you?
05:34Yes. To that end, I was thinking along the lines of Beau, say a little party for the entire staff at my place. Hey, you could bring Roger. Thanks, but I think it's a little too soon. I don't want to put any pressure on him.
05:54Oh, come on, Roz. You're always saying you're over-date for these things. It's going to be a lot of radio talk, and I'm not sure he's going to be that comfortable with this crowd. Who is? Come on, Roz, I'd like to meet him. I don't know. Maybe next party. Does this have anything to do with his occupation? You know, his being a refuse collector?
06:18I am completely comfortable with his job. I just don't want him to feel awkward around other people. Not that he should, or would. Yes, all right, fine, fine. If you change your mind, he's more than welcome, all right? It promises to be a real wing-ding. If being a snob is the reputation I've built around here, then this party will be the wrecking ball of congeniality that tears it down.
06:44Yeah, say stuff like that.
06:54Say, come on, Mom. Come on, Mom. Say, don't be a wuss. Don't be a wuss. I'm not a wuss. Oh, I know you said you were going to make dinner, but why don't I just open a can of something? How'd you think I was going to make dinner?
07:10Alice, go pick out some PJs.
07:13Hey, when you're done, I got a special book for you. It's called Make Room for Monkeys. Now hurry up. Get out of here. Come on.
07:23Make Room for Monkeys? Where did you find this? It's out of print.
07:29Yeah, well, a certain very bad skater that I know told me it was her favorite book when she was growing up, so I kept my eyes open and I found it in a pile of old books.
07:45You mean like at the dump?
07:48No, not a dump. Please. It's a secret underground landfill accessible only to garbage men and the mole people who live there. It used to be one of them, but then I decided to join the surface dwellers and find my queen.
08:13Thank you. That's very thoughtful.
08:16And you will make an excellent mole queen. Of course, after a year underground, your eyes will fuse shut. Your sense of smell will stick.
08:26Okay, stop.
08:32Do you joke around about your career because you're uncomfortable talking about it?
08:38You mean deeply and utterly ashamed?
08:41Whatever. Your words.
08:46I don't know. I never really thought about it as a career. I mean, it's just a job to me. You know, it's got great benefits and afternoons off and whenever I have a family, I get to spend a lot of time with them. How sweet will that be?
09:11Would you like to go to a party with me on Saturday?
09:14I'd love to. I found a great pair of shoes this morning. They damn near match.
09:26Good to see you. Glad you could come, make yourselves at home.
09:30Hey, Frasier, why don't you introduce me to some of your friends?
09:33I wish I could, Dad.
09:37I don't know any of these people myself.
09:40You don't? I better go hide my beer in the crisper.
09:47Hey, Frasier, thanks for inviting me to your party.
09:50Well, it's my pleasure, man.
09:56Did you see the game today?
09:58Actually, I did not.
10:00Oh, man, it was a real squeaker. You dog pulled it out at the end with a last second field goal. It's all about special teams, am I right?
10:06Oh, yeah.
10:09You know, I think they prefer the term challenged.
10:16Brothers, brothers, come on in. Hey, good to see you.
10:20And you must be Roger.
10:22Lovely to meet you.
10:24Hey, Jason.
10:26Oh, this is Jason.
10:28Yeah, the old G-man here and I were just shooting a breeze, you know.
10:33Disguise!
10:37Okay, enjoy yourself, man.
10:39All right, so, Ross.
10:42Roger, do you think I could borrow Ross for just one minute?
10:45Yeah.
10:47Thank you so much.
10:49Listen, Ross, please don't leave me alone here. I don't know any of these people's names.
10:53Jason, I cannot desert Roger in a room full of nosy strangers.
10:57Look, look, he's already met Deb. He knows as many people as I do.
11:01I'm sorry, you're going to have to find yourself another path.
11:04Well, where the hell am I supposed to find another...
11:07Kenny!
11:10Hey, Ross. Looking suh-wee.
11:17Hey, Noel.
11:19So, that's the competition.
11:20Mmm.
11:22Or are you just using him to get me jealous?
11:26Actually, I forgot you were going to be here.
11:29I'll bet you regret bringing the arm candy now.
11:34So, uh, what's he do?
11:38Works for the city.
11:40Oh.
11:42So, in a manner of speaking, I pay his salary.
11:45Which makes me his boss.
11:48Does that turn you on?
11:50No.
11:55Roger, would you like something to drink?
11:58Yeah, I'll come with you. Nice meeting you.
12:00Hey, Ross.
12:02Hey, Cheryl.
12:04Introduce me to your friend.
12:06Roger, this is Cheryl.
12:08Hey, Cheryl, how you doing?
12:10Hi, nice to meet you. I think I know you from somewhere.
12:13Yeah? Maybe I work in your neighborhood.
12:16Oh, what do you do?
12:17He sends me flowers and gives me massages, and he's just great.
12:24Really? You know she has a kid, right?
12:29Okay, Cheryl.
12:35So, uh, why didn't you tell her what I do?
12:41And have her stalking you at work?
12:44I don't think so.
12:45I don't think so.
12:48Great party, Frazier.
12:50Oh, thanks. Glad you could come.
12:52Dennis.
12:54You too.
12:56Emily.
12:58Say, what are you expecting?
13:00This weather to change.
13:08Well, you're not the first rustler who's tried to cut my little filly from the herd.
13:16So, did you guys happen to see the game today?
13:21No, I missed that. Who won?
13:23Well, actually, it was a real squeaker.
13:26You, Dub, pulled it out at the last second with a real clutch field goal.
13:31Yeah.
13:33Say, Dad, what's going on?
13:35I don't know.
13:40Yeah, the station manager's sort of the head honcho.
13:43You know, the go-to guy.
13:46You could replace virtually everybody else at the station except for me.
13:50And Ross.
13:52So, uh, what do you do?
13:55Roger, could you please get me a sandwich?
13:59Yeah, okay.
14:02So, I take it handsome's not in the biz, huh?
14:05So, what's he do?
14:07What difference does it make, Kenny?
14:10Why are people so obsessed with what people do?
14:13Every party you go to, all anyone ever asks you is, what do you do, what do you do?
14:20You know, not everyone has a job they're proud of.
14:23Did you ever think of that?
14:25Why can't you ask them about music or sport?
14:28Books, for God's sake.
14:30Have you read a good book lately?
14:33Why don't you ask him that instead of embarrassing everybody?
14:37Here's your sandwich, Ross.
14:43So, have you read any good books lately?
14:47No, actually, us garbage men don't have a lot of time to read books.
14:52And we have to get up pretty early in the morning, so I guess I better get out of here.
14:58Bye, Ross.
15:00Hey, Frazier, thanks a lot.
15:02Right.
15:03It was really nice meeting everyone.
15:05Goodbye.
15:08Roger.
15:10I know that.
15:19Hey, cream man.
15:21Come on, Dennis.
15:23Lisa, hi.
15:25Patty, oh, looking good.
15:31Kill me.
15:35What are you talking about?
15:37What are you talking about?
15:39You're Mr. Popularity.
15:41Yes, and it's a living hell.
15:44I've spent the entire morning exchanging fake pleasantries with a bunch of people that I have absolutely nothing in common with.
15:53I miss being unapproachable.
15:59I thought you wanted to be loved by the common man.
16:01Yes, but couldn't I have sent just one representative?
16:18Ross.
16:23I'm sorry.
16:25Ever since Roger and I broke up, I can't look at trash the same way.
16:32You want to talk about it?
16:35No, it's okay.
16:40It's just so weird.
16:43You go through life meeting people who are all the same, you know?
16:49And they just think you're the same, too.
16:53And then one day, you meet this guy.
16:58But he's not the same.
17:01Because he actually sees that you're not the same.
17:05And he knows.
17:07Because he's the same way.
17:13Ross.
17:15Sounds to me like you're in love.
17:19I can't be.
17:21I know that this is shallow, and I hate myself for it, but I can't be in love with a garbage man.
17:27Well, then, you need to move on.
17:33Realize that you've learned something about yourself.
17:37Great.
17:39Learned that I'm a snob.
17:42No, no.
17:44Just that you have certain standards that it may be difficult for others to live up to.
17:51You know, Ross.
17:52Seems you and I are more alike than we thought.
17:56Okay, now I'm really miserable.
18:03Look at me, I'm a mess.
18:05Well, I tell you what, we've got a few minutes before the show starts.
18:07Just go clean yourself up, all right?
18:09Hey, hey.
18:10Hey, Greenman.
18:12What's going on?
18:13Well, my show, actually, in about two minutes.
18:17What can I do for you?
18:18Sue invited all of us to her place to watch the fight tonight on pay-per-view.
18:23Right.
18:24Well, as tempting as that sounds, I'm afraid I'll have to decline.
18:29Okay, we'll catch you next time.
18:31Well, actually, you won't.
18:37Jason, Noel, you there.
18:44Noel, you there.
18:53I've been living a lie.
18:56Let me tell you a little something about things I don't like.
19:01Boxing, for one.
19:03Sporting events of any kind.
19:06Barbecues, office parties, buddy movies.
19:10Any dish made with marshmallows.
19:16Things that I do like.
19:19The opera.
19:20The symphony.
19:23Elizabethan revenge dramas, etc.
19:27So, if you're not inclined toward any of these interests,
19:32well, then, frankly, our association can be civil at best.
19:46Are we all clear on this concept?
19:48I told you.
19:54Have a good day.
20:03Hey, what's going on?
20:05I found another box of pictures from your childhood.
20:08Oh, no.
20:10Oh, look at this one. You're adorable.
20:13Yes, it's all adorable.
20:15My retainer and the membership card to the Young Magicians Club.
20:21A picture of me in my choo-choo jammies.
20:26With your caboose hanging out.
20:29With your caboose hanging out.
20:34Adorable.
20:35Well, can we just give my childhood a rest for a while?
20:39How would you feel if I took your most humiliating moments and put them on display?
20:44You know, I think I've got the perfect picture frame for this one.
20:49So she puts a few pictures out. What's the big deal?
20:52There's a whole part of your life she missed out on.
20:56I guess.
20:57Besides, I like seeing your old stuff.
21:03Oh, no one around here draws pictures anymore.
21:09What the hell is this supposed to be, anyway?
21:13Oh, that is an Egyptian battle scene from Aida.
21:21That's Radames and that's the jealous Amneris.
21:26I misspelled Aminosro.
21:33Oh, to be six again.
21:39What is that?
21:40Some things from my childhood.
21:43You asked how I'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
21:46Go ahead, take a look.
21:48Right.
21:52Oh, well, that's a wonderful drawing of a...
21:56turtle.
21:58No, that's me dad crawling home from the pub.
22:03Well, why did you sign it Dappy?
22:06Oh, me mum did that.
22:08Me family called me Dappy because I couldn't say Daphne.
22:11Really?
22:12Yeah, I hated it.
22:13The brothers would sing, Dappy, Dappy, wet a nappy.
22:18Well, I think it's precious, Dappy.
22:22I'm going to call you that from now on, Dappy.
22:26No, you won't.
22:27Well, how about I call you Dappy until you put my mementos back in the box.
22:31How does that sound, Dappy?
22:33That's not fair.
22:34Oh, dad.
22:37You'll never guess what silly nickname Daphne was called as a child.
22:41Is it worse than piles?
22:49Oh, Dappy.
22:55Now that can't bring up fond memories.
23:08Why is he here?
23:10Can dad still see him?
23:13I don't think so, sweetie.
23:15Why?
23:18It's hard to explain.
23:20Why?
23:24It's complicated.
23:26Why?
23:33Mommy works in an office.
23:37And Roger works in a truck.
23:40And people in offices and people in trucks.
23:45It's complicated.
23:48But I like Roger.
23:50I know, honey.
23:52Do you like Roger?
23:55Yes, but...
24:00Yeah.
24:01Okay.
24:06Okay.
24:08Sarah, can you look after Alice?
24:12I'll be right back.
24:18Roger!
24:22Hi.
24:25I'm so sorry that I've been such an idiot.
24:28I don't know what's been wrong with me.
24:31All I know is that I miss you like crazy.
24:37Do you still have an opening for a mole queen?
24:41You sure?
25:11Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:14Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:18Quite stylish
25:20And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:23Well, maybe
25:25But I got you pegged
25:27Ha ha ha ha
25:30But I don't know what to do
25:32With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:36But I don't know what to do
25:38With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:43They're calling again
25:46Goodnight!