I Can't Divorce My Beautiful Wife HD ( Comedy, Romance )
I Can't Divorce My Beautiful Wife HD ( Comedy, Romance )
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00:00:00All righty, two matzo balls, just like you like it.
00:00:07Always taking care of me, you.
00:00:10Hey, anything for my most beautiful customer, huh?
00:00:12I left you a nice tip today.
00:00:16Oh, Leo, you don't have to do that.
00:00:17Thank you.
00:00:18Thank you so much.
00:00:20My pleasure.
00:00:21See you later, buddy.
00:00:23Excuse me.
00:00:27Thank you.
00:00:31No, aluminum is not good for you.
00:00:33Waiter?
00:00:34Hey, excuse me, buddy.
00:00:35Is there something wrong with my fork?
00:00:38No, just your stock choice's future.
00:00:40Oh, well, your future involves topping off my coffee, OK?
00:00:45No, aluminum's stable.
00:00:46There's just no growth potential in it.
00:00:48Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second.
00:00:50Hold on, hold on.
00:00:50Back it up.
00:00:52Unbelievable.
00:00:53That is exactly what my consultant said last night.
00:00:55And I bet he charged you more than the $6.95 lunch
00:00:57special for that.
00:00:59Yeah, he did.
00:01:03OK, so say you were her, who would you bet on?
00:01:08I would go with that one.
00:01:16You're kidding, right?
00:01:17That's nickel stuff.
00:01:18Simitech's about to shake hands with them next week.
00:01:20That means by Friday, those nickels
00:01:21are going to be worth millions.
00:01:23Wow.
00:01:24That's impressive.
00:01:26I ain't seen nothing yet.
00:01:27Mike, the little 57 is yours.
00:01:28I ain't seen nothing yet either.
00:01:29Go.
00:01:30Wait, wait, wait.
00:01:31Hold on a second.
00:01:32So what are you doing later tonight?
00:01:36Maybe you want to show me something I haven't seen yet.
00:01:39Wow, OK.
00:01:42I think I will be at home with my girlfriend.
00:01:47I'm very jealous, very.
00:01:49Hey, waiter dude.
00:01:50Yeah, Casanova.
00:01:51It's Mike.
00:01:52Mike.
00:01:53He's a Christian, and he's very religious.
00:01:55Yeah, well, I'd pray to that.
00:01:58I'm very busy, OK?
00:01:59Still waiting for this.
00:02:00Coming, coming, coming.
00:02:01Wait, Mike.
00:02:02This is ridiculous.
00:02:04No, no, no, no.
00:02:05Sir, I apologize.
00:02:06No, I'm sorry.
00:02:07We have a business meeting.
00:02:09He's just a trainee.
00:02:10Please.
00:02:11Please, let me take your order.
00:02:12Gentlemen.
00:02:13A trainee, really?
00:02:15Wow.
00:02:17You know what?
00:02:18I don't feel so good.
00:02:19I think I got to go.
00:02:20If you dare take that tie off, you're fired, OK?
00:02:22Keep it on, and clean the table.
00:02:24What seems to be the problem?
00:02:26He wants to get fired.
00:02:27Mr. Lipnick.
00:02:28He's already chased out four of our regular customers.
00:02:30I know.
00:02:31Four coffee-only customers.
00:02:34Those people have been hogging that table every day
00:02:37now for a week.
00:02:39I wondered who had the balls to throw them out.
00:02:42Good business sense, Michael.
00:02:44You're my man.
00:02:47Come here.
00:02:48Let's talk.
00:02:49My granddaughter Delilah's at a conference at University Hall.
00:02:53Do you think you could pick her up for us?
00:02:56Absolutely.
00:03:01Although it's rare, at the turn of the last century,
00:03:04the divorce rate grew for a number of justifiable reasons.
00:03:08People are alcoholics, drug addicts,
00:03:12physically abusive to their spouse or children.
00:03:15These are situations where separation
00:03:17is often best for all involved.
00:03:20But divorce and its acceptance have changed with the times.
00:03:26On their wedding day, couples often
00:03:29still say, till death do us part.
00:03:33But after time passes, initial traction often fades.
00:03:38The perfect spouse all of a sudden
00:03:41is a normal person with human flaws, recurring arguments,
00:03:46attraction to a co-worker, or simple boredom
00:03:50can lead to irreconcilable differences.
00:03:54Divorce is a lazy way out.
00:03:57Divorce is a shortcut solution.
00:04:00Wake up, Grandma.
00:04:02It's the 21st century.
00:04:04That's the way it goes.
00:04:07What about children?
00:04:09Doesn't our future depend on them?
00:04:11Divorce can have a devastating effect on a child
00:04:13as my case studies attest.
00:04:17I can also personally attest to this
00:04:19because I come from a broken family.
00:04:23I was raised by my grandparents.
00:04:25And not that they didn't take care of me, because they did.
00:04:28But I so wish that my parents were there, too.
00:04:32And your solution?
00:04:34Take it seriously.
00:04:36Marriage is work.
00:04:38Marriage is for life.
00:04:40If you are willing to make the commitment,
00:04:42you have to be prepared to go the distance.
00:04:44Excuse me.
00:04:46Did you major in sociology, or did you major in fantasy?
00:04:49You make it sound like a jail sentence
00:04:55without the parole.
00:04:56No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:04:59no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:05:02Well, buddy, no need to worry.
00:05:04From the looks of it, the only lifelong commitment you'll have
00:05:07is with your right hand.
00:05:08Ooh.
00:05:09Oh.
00:05:10Shit.
00:05:11Shit.
00:05:12Thank you.
00:05:15That's, uh, that's it.
00:05:18That's all.
00:05:19Thank God.
00:05:20Thank you.
00:05:21Thank you.
00:05:22Thank you.
00:05:23Thank you.
00:05:24Thank you.
00:05:25Thank you.
00:05:26Thank you.
00:05:27Thank you.
00:05:28Thank you.
00:05:29Thank you.
00:05:30Thank you.
00:05:32Thanks.
00:05:33Thanks a lot.
00:05:38Honey?
00:05:39Slow down.
00:05:40I worked my butt off for three years on that thesis.
00:05:42I interviewed hundreds of couples,
00:05:44and all it takes is a couple of idiots in the audience
00:05:48to make it all seem like a joke.
00:05:50And you seem to have no opinion about it?
00:05:52Well, if it's one thing I've learned from you,
00:05:54it's when to keep my mouth shut.
00:05:56Okay, then.
00:05:57Fine, let's be honest.
00:05:59I can handle it.
00:06:01Tell me the truth.
00:06:03Truth?
00:06:05Yeah.
00:06:07Well,
00:06:09I think some of those guys
00:06:11had some...
00:06:13pretty valid points.
00:06:17Why don't you just admit it?
00:06:19You don't respect my academic research!
00:06:25No, it's just
00:06:27thousands of theses sitting in the library
00:06:29gathering dust.
00:06:31You know, they change nothing.
00:06:33The world goes on as if they were never even written.
00:06:35Yeah, but out of those thousands,
00:06:37one of those papers had the formula
00:06:39for electricity on it.
00:06:41It did?
00:06:43So how do you know that mine won't be that one, huh?
00:06:45I mean, if it could just change one mind,
00:06:47it would all be worth it.
00:06:49Why am I wasting my time talking to you?
00:06:51I mean, what would a college dropout
00:06:53care about this stuff anyway?
00:06:55Hey, I am a proud dropout, okay?
00:06:57Fine. Four, five, six years
00:06:59of endless side roads
00:07:01and pointless detours.
00:07:03My theory for life is simple.
00:07:05Shortcuts.
00:07:07Shortcuts.
00:07:21You know what?
00:07:23This has been too much academic debate for one day.
00:07:25I'm sorry, Mike, okay?
00:07:27I've just had a really rough day.
00:07:31How about some margaritas
00:07:33at the deck bar?
00:07:37And then...
00:07:39how about a massage
00:07:41by the expert hands
00:07:43of a Kansas City farm boy?
00:07:47If the client is not
00:07:49completely satisfied, she can return the massage
00:07:51to the massager.
00:07:53Thank God.
00:07:57Hey, babe.
00:07:59Hi, honey.
00:08:01How are you?
00:08:03Tired.
00:08:05Hi.
00:08:07Hi. Look what I brought you.
00:08:09Oh, you're sweet.
00:08:11I'm so icky from the restaurant.
00:08:13I really want to go in to take a shower.
00:08:15Wait, wait, wait.
00:08:17What's the rush, huh?
00:08:19It's a gorgeous evening, huh?
00:08:21It's L.A. They're all gorgeous evenings.
00:08:23Yeah, but, um,
00:08:25this is especially, you know,
00:08:27romantic evening, isn't it?
00:08:29It's clear...
00:08:31Well, so much, because we're right by the dumpster,
00:08:33and the trash guy forgot to stop on our street again.
00:08:35So, listen,
00:08:37I'm going to go in, I'm going to take a shower,
00:08:39and then maybe I can muster a little romance for you.
00:08:41Well, hold on. What's the rush?
00:08:43Gotta go.
00:08:45Ah!
00:08:47Oh!
00:08:51Dude.
00:08:53You don't have to leave, all right?
00:08:55You just can't put me on watchdog anymore, all right?
00:08:57Yeah.
00:08:59I mean, you are more than welcome to stay with us
00:09:01whenever you want.
00:09:03You and Scotty have known each other since birth.
00:09:05I only barged into your lives about a year ago.
00:09:07Barging in on me was not cool.
00:09:09I know.
00:09:11I'm sorry.
00:09:13But, you know, you don't have to do this.
00:09:15I'm sorry.
00:09:17I'm sorry.
00:09:19I know. I'm sorry.
00:09:21But, you know, you can't barge in and expect to become one of them
00:09:23in six months, either.
00:09:25One of them? Them?
00:09:27What does that even mean? Really?
00:09:29Dylan and I are in love, okay?
00:09:31Why are you guys so worried about this now?
00:09:33Dude, she's the one
00:09:35who got you the litnik job, remember?
00:09:37She just doesn't want to get fired when the Christian shit
00:09:39hits the Jewish fan.
00:09:41No. No, I'm not worried about that. I am a phenomenal waitress.
00:09:43But I am worried about you.
00:09:45I mean,
00:09:47considering marrying Dylan,
00:09:49I just might think again.
00:09:51Her grandparents are very old school.
00:09:53I mean, they are super, super religious.
00:09:55So? My parents are super religious.
00:09:57They don't care if I marry a Jewish girl.
00:09:59Mike, are you sure? Huh?
00:10:01Because growing up in Puncton, Kansas,
00:10:03I doubt anybody could tell Jewish from Amish.
00:10:05Remember facial hair? You had facial hair,
00:10:07you were an alien from outer space. True story.
00:10:09Scotty, you can't change my mind on this, okay?
00:10:11She's...
00:10:13She's just made for me.
00:10:15She's made for you.
00:10:17Hey, man, um, what happened to the Mike
00:10:19I used to know, huh? The one who would only take
00:10:21the richest dude's daughter to the prom?
00:10:23Where's he at? Can I see him? Yeah.
00:10:25I miss him. And what happened to the stockbroker
00:10:27who wouldn't even take a woman out to coffee
00:10:29without looking at her profile first?
00:10:31Ah. Hmm?
00:10:33He grew up. He fell in love.
00:10:35Besides, do not underestimate
00:10:37the potential of this restaurant.
00:10:39We are really close to franchising this.
00:10:41Oh, oh, oh, okay.
00:10:43Okay. See, I thought...
00:10:45I thought Amigo was La Nueva Señorita,
00:10:47not the restaurante.
00:10:49Amigo, La Nueva Señorita,
00:10:51not the restaurante.
00:10:53Amigo,
00:10:55La Nueva Señorita,
00:10:57not the restaurante.
00:10:59Scotty, don't be a schmuck.
00:11:01Besides, I'm thinking about Paul and Elaine
00:11:03in this whole thing.
00:11:05I mean, how can they say no to a guy
00:11:07who is about to revolutionize their family business?
00:11:09Family business?
00:11:11You would have to die and be
00:11:13reborn Jewish for them to consider you family.
00:11:17Oy, please! I could be as Jewish
00:11:19as they wanted me to be.
00:11:23Just wait until you see Jeremy.
00:11:25Who?
00:11:27Who? The bicycle guy?
00:11:29Yeah! The Lipnicks totally drool over him.
00:11:31Okay, he's straight out of freaking Fiddler on the Roof.
00:11:33And now that he's back in town,
00:11:35they're gonna try to set Dylan up with him.
00:11:37Just wait and see.
00:11:41♪♪♪
00:11:53Sweetheart, we need to buy more sugar packets.
00:11:55I know. We're running out of baked apples.
00:11:57Oh, I thought we had so many.
00:11:59No, we don't.
00:12:01What about the challah?
00:12:03The challah? A chocolate-covered challah.
00:12:05Oh, I love it.
00:12:07Oh, I'm sorry. We're actually not open yet.
00:12:09I'm family.
00:12:11Would you mind telling me who you're related to?
00:12:13Look who's here!
00:12:15Jeremy!
00:12:17Jeremy!
00:12:19It's Mom!
00:12:21Love you, Elaine.
00:12:23Good to see you.
00:12:25I brought you these to congratulate you
00:12:27on Delilah's graduation.
00:12:29How nice of you to remember.
00:12:31Where is our beautiful Delilah?
00:12:33She's not here now, but you are. Join us for lunch.
00:12:35Oh, we have some delicious food here.
00:12:37There is nothing I would love more
00:12:39than Grandma's delicious tongue-on-rye.
00:12:41Oh!
00:12:43But unfortunately, I have to run.
00:12:45I'll be back later, though, to pick up Delilah.
00:12:47She doesn't know it yet.
00:12:49But I got her tickets to see the symphony
00:12:51at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:12:53Wonderful! Fabulous!
00:12:55Michael, would you put these lovely flowers
00:12:57in some water, please?
00:12:59He's our new assistant manager.
00:13:01Hi.
00:13:03Mike.
00:13:05Christian.
00:13:07Jeremy. Jeremy Jew.
00:13:11Christian is my real last name, actually.
00:13:13Yeah, well, Jew's mine, too.
00:13:15And if you believe that, I got a bridge in Brooklyn
00:13:17I'd love to sell you.
00:13:21Dylan's at the dentist right now,
00:13:23and actually, I think she has plans later.
00:13:25Really? I thought you were the assistant manager.
00:13:27What, are you her personal secretary, too?
00:13:29Ha ha ha!
00:13:33Oh, no, I'm her boyfriend.
00:13:35What?
00:13:37What did you say?
00:13:39Paul, Elaine,
00:13:41I didn't want you guys to find out like this.
00:13:43I mean, you guys have taken me in,
00:13:45and you treated me like family.
00:13:47But I guess now is as good a time as any.
00:13:51I'm in love with your granddaughter.
00:13:53In love?
00:13:55Oh, McKinca-huckin-vin!
00:13:57You're fired! Get out!
00:13:59Paul, let me explain. Out!
00:14:01We don't want to see you! Go, go!
00:14:03What's going on?
00:14:07Um, there's just one question
00:14:09I need to ask you before I leave.
00:14:13Dylan Lipnick,
00:14:15I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:14:17Will you marry me?
00:14:19No!
00:14:21No! No!
00:14:23I'm serious.
00:14:25I'm committed.
00:14:27I need your answer.
00:14:29Yes or no?
00:14:35Oh, my God.
00:14:37Yes!
00:14:39Are you serious?
00:14:41No!
00:14:43This is a sham!
00:14:45Those flowers Jeremy brought for you.
00:14:47Then that's what the invites will say.
00:14:49Flowers by Jeremy. Jeremy Jew.
00:14:51You know what?
00:14:53Jeremy was even kind enough
00:14:55to buy concert tickets.
00:14:57Yes!
00:14:59For us!
00:15:01No!
00:15:03No?
00:15:05Yes.
00:15:07Delilah, I want to see you in my booth right now.
00:15:09Come on.
00:15:21Come on.
00:15:31You've known this man for only a few months,
00:15:33and now you're ready to marry him?
00:15:35What do you know about him?
00:15:37I know
00:15:39he's a good man
00:15:41with a brilliant head
00:15:43on his shoulders.
00:15:45He's a self-directed man
00:15:47with ambition
00:15:49and dreams.
00:15:51And he loves me to bits,
00:15:53Grandma.
00:15:55What more can I ask for?
00:15:59Jeremy waited years
00:16:01for you to finish school.
00:16:03At least you could have
00:16:05given it a try, gone out with him,
00:16:07something.
00:16:09He's not my type, Grandma. He's too...
00:16:11Too what?
00:16:13I don't... I don't know.
00:16:15He's too...
00:16:17Too Jewish.
00:16:19Like all those worthless people in our family?
00:16:21Like all the generations who suffered
00:16:23so you could have a better life? Like us, I suppose?
00:16:29Come here, sweetheart.
00:16:31Listen to me.
00:16:33I have never
00:16:35seen your grandpa this hurt.
00:16:37Please,
00:16:39just let it go for a while.
00:16:41Let it be.
00:16:43All right?
00:16:47All right.
00:17:09They've given up so much to give me a better life.
00:17:13And what do I do in return?
00:17:17I don't understand.
00:17:31Okay, so
00:17:33I want to go through
00:17:35an authentic conversion.
00:17:37One that follows the most
00:17:39ancient of rituals.
00:17:43You do understand the disciple
00:17:45Yes, I do.
00:17:47And you're kidding me, right?
00:17:49It's a joke.
00:17:51Oh, I get it.
00:17:53This is an episode of a reality show,
00:17:55and I'm in it, and I bet you my agent set it up.
00:17:57Max! Max, where are you,
00:17:59you little rat? Max?
00:18:01No?
00:18:03No.
00:18:05You're serious?
00:18:07All right, I have to explain
00:18:09what it is.
00:18:11We don't have to take off the whole megillah.
00:18:13But there's gonna be some blood,
00:18:15there's gonna be a scalpel,
00:18:17there's gonna be an owie on your pee-pee.
00:18:19All right? I got a question to ask you.
00:18:21On a scale of one to ten,
00:18:23how much pain can you take it?
00:18:258.5.
00:18:27No, no, no, no, no.
00:18:29Not 8.5. I'm...
00:18:31I'm more of like a 2.1
00:18:33kind of guy.
00:18:35You said you were in love.
00:18:39And this is your best friend, yeah?
00:18:418.5.
00:18:45Okay. For love.
00:18:478.5.
00:18:498.5.
00:18:51Drink to that.
00:18:53Under strict rabbinical law,
00:18:55I have to tell you, you got to ask me
00:18:57three times, I can do it.
00:18:59Please? No. Please? No. Please?
00:19:01Okay, that's all right.
00:19:03We're gonna do it. It's all right.
00:19:05And I'm gonna sing to you like a father
00:19:07would sing to his little Jewish boy.
00:19:09Los in a kiss
00:19:11mit Mandlen
00:19:15Schlaf,
00:19:17mein niedlich,
00:19:19schlaf
00:19:21Wow.
00:19:23I feel Jewish already.
00:19:25Oh, look! My foreskin just fell off.
00:19:27Oh, you're lucky.
00:19:29It didn't. You still have to cut it off.
00:19:31I'm not Jewish. A little bit.
00:19:33Welcome, welcome,
00:19:35my dear friends.
00:19:37Good afternoon.
00:19:39Today we're going to have a ceremony
00:19:41which you will never forget the rest of your life,
00:19:43I assure you.
00:19:45We have a young man,
00:19:47outside of our shul,
00:19:49but with a great deal of love in his heart,
00:19:51who has come here today
00:19:53to express his love and admiration
00:19:55for our religion.
00:19:57He wants to be converted
00:19:59in the most traditional way,
00:20:01with our oldest ritual,
00:20:03the bris.
00:20:13Rabbi.
00:20:19Are you comfortable?
00:20:21Yeah.
00:20:23Are you comfortable?
00:20:25I make a living.
00:20:27Are you confident?
00:20:29Yeah.
00:20:31Are you confident?
00:20:33They're not going to cut me.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:15Boychik, how are you feeling?
00:21:17See?
00:21:19Wasn't so bad.
00:21:21Yeah.
00:21:23Not so bad.
00:21:25Hi, Mike.
00:21:27So we have some oils here
00:21:29that'll make you feel better.
00:21:31We have everything from something
00:21:33that's soothing and gentle
00:21:35to healing and stinging.
00:21:37How about some wine?
00:21:39Ah.
00:21:41All right.
00:21:43Chosen wine.
00:21:45You're a brave young man.
00:21:47Ah, yes. Here we go.
00:21:49Ah!
00:21:51Ah!
00:21:53Ah!
00:21:57Ah!
00:21:59Ah!
00:22:01Ah!
00:22:03Thank you.
00:22:05Thank you.
00:22:07Oh.
00:22:09Oh, you came.
00:22:11Oh, yeah.
00:22:13That means so much to me.
00:22:15Dylan loves you so much,
00:22:17and she was afraid
00:22:19you weren't going to accept me,
00:22:21and thank you.
00:22:23I told you this Daniel nudnik
00:22:25I know, I know, I am studying, I just couldn't stay away from my Dylan that long.
00:22:31Excuse me.
00:22:32Oh, oh, oh, Paul.
00:22:36Let's keep this a surprise between us.
00:22:45Careful.
00:22:50Okay, I'll be right back.
00:22:51Do you need anything else?
00:22:52Okay, alright, great.
00:22:54Hey, where's Mike?
00:22:55Oh, um, why don't you ask our new head manager?
00:22:59Proudest you on the block.
00:23:05Why would you do that?
00:23:07Hire him as head manager?
00:23:09No matter what you say or do, I am never going out with him.
00:23:14Well, sorry to hear that, but maybe you should tell him yourself.
00:23:17Go ahead, tell him.
00:23:24Look, I know that this might disappoint you, but will you please just leave me alone?
00:23:30Oy, what am I, chopped liver?
00:23:35Fine, I'm leaving. I don't need your tsuris.
00:23:39Mike, what is this?
00:23:41Yesterday was a surprise, a profound surprise for us as well.
00:23:45He put himself through the whole nine yards, including a traditional bris.
00:23:50Who knew he was going to be studying Hebrew?
00:23:54You didn't have to...
00:23:56I can't believe you did all this!
00:23:59May I, with your permission?
00:24:00Of course.
00:24:05Oh, oh my god.
00:24:18Mazel tov.
00:24:19Mazel tov.
00:24:21Oh, every happiness.
00:24:25It's amazing.
00:24:26Oh, careful down there.
00:24:27I'm sorry.
00:24:50Roger!
00:24:51What happened?
00:24:52Come here!
00:24:53Come on!
00:24:54What, what?
00:24:55Oh my god.
00:24:57You have to see this.
00:24:58What?
00:24:59Go ahead, just read it.
00:25:00No, no, no, you have to read it yourself.
00:25:02My hands are all wet.
00:25:04Oh, sweet Jesus.
00:25:07Honey, Jesus was Jewish.
00:25:12Gosh, isn't she beautiful?
00:25:15Well, yeah, but I wish you would have told us.
00:25:20Honey, Mike has finally found somebody he loves.
00:25:26I'm going.
00:25:28Are you going to join me?
00:25:29Of course I'm going to join you.
00:25:31I'm not joining anything else.
00:25:35So, how many guests so far?
00:25:37Our side, we're at 200, plus you added 49, including the stock market janitors.
00:25:44Oh, good, yes.
00:25:45I love those guys.
00:25:50Honey, it's getting late.
00:25:51Don't you have to go home?
00:25:52Yeah.
00:25:53So, I don't want you to misunderstand me.
00:25:55Feel free to tell me what you think.
00:25:59What's this?
00:26:01It's our prenup.
00:26:04No!
00:26:06No!
00:26:09Hey, guys! Scotty, come here!
00:26:10Yo!
00:26:11You guys, we're like real celebrities.
00:26:13We are like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
00:26:16We have got a prenup, yeah!
00:26:20This is a, this is a prenup?
00:26:21Yeah.
00:26:22Yeah.
00:26:24Prenup.
00:26:27This is more like a phone book.
00:26:28Wow.
00:26:31Okay, I know it's a bit long, but you understand why.
00:26:35Oh, I know, I know, I know.
00:26:36Because in our Jewish culture, before the wedding, we sign a thing called a batuka.
00:26:47A what?
00:26:49A what?
00:26:50A topanga.
00:26:52A bazooka.
00:26:56Kabucha.
00:26:58Tenduka.
00:26:59Kambuna.
00:27:00Hakuna.
00:27:01Kabuzuki.
00:27:03Shataki.
00:27:04Ketubah.
00:27:05Ketubah, yes.
00:27:06Mr. Jewish groom.
00:27:07And ketubah is just one page.
00:27:10This is way more than one page.
00:27:11This is a lot of pages.
00:27:14Honey, yeah, this is a little, are you sure this is our prenup?
00:27:19It looks more like your thesis.
00:27:22Just read it and let me know if you want to make any changes.
00:27:25Love you.
00:27:26I love you.
00:27:27Bye.
00:27:28I love our prenup!
00:27:29I'm glad.
00:27:35Dude, what are you doing?
00:27:37You gotta read this shit.
00:27:40Dude, how many credit cards do you sign up for?
00:27:42You just sign, I agree, without even reading it.
00:27:44Come on.
00:27:45Dude, this is your life we're talking about here, not a credit card, okay?
00:27:48Look, there's an attorney in my cigar club.
00:27:51He owes me a favor.
00:27:52We'll let him read it first, alright?
00:27:53Just let him read it.
00:27:54Dude, it's fine.
00:27:57Look, sign here.
00:28:01You're out of your mind.
00:28:02You're out of your mind.
00:28:04He's in love.
00:28:07I'm in love!
00:28:09Love makes you stupid.
00:28:11Like, wow, stupid.
00:28:14Love makes me stupid.
00:28:15Yeah.
00:28:32You and I giving up
00:28:35Now picture us old
00:28:37Still so in love
00:28:40That is the dream I can picture for us
00:28:45I ain't going nowhere
00:28:49I ain't leaving for nothing in the world
00:28:54I ain't going nowhere
00:28:58I'm staying, yeah
00:29:01I'm staying with you
00:29:06I wanna be the one
00:29:08Here for the long run
00:29:10Nothing can fade the love for you
00:29:15I'll use every single day
00:29:17To be in your everything
00:29:20I'm coming with brand new ways to show you
00:29:24You say I'm headstrong
00:29:27You think I'm let go
00:29:29Oh baby, ain't enough arguments to make me say goodbye
00:29:34No matter who's wrong
00:29:36I'll always come home
00:29:39Cause you were made for me
00:29:41And I'm staying with you
00:29:44I ain't going nowhere
00:29:48I ain't leaving for nothing in the world
00:29:53I ain't going nowhere
00:29:57I'm staying, yeah
00:30:00I'm staying with you
00:30:03Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:07Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:11I'm staying with you
00:30:13Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:17Ooh, yeah
00:30:21I'm staying with you
00:30:23Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:27Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:32Ooh, yeah, yeah
00:30:36Yeah
00:30:40I'm staying with you
00:30:43I'm staying with you
00:30:49I'm staying with you
00:30:59I'm staying with you
00:31:03I'm staying with you
00:31:11Where are we going?
00:31:13What are we doing here?
00:31:14Don't worry about it.
00:31:15Thank you.
00:31:19Honey, what are we doing?
00:31:20Jessica's back.
00:31:23Come on.
00:31:28Honey, whose house is this?
00:31:32Wow.
00:31:33God.
00:31:36Wow.
00:31:39Turn it on.
00:31:45Welcome to your new home.
00:31:47Have a very happy married life, darlings.
00:31:50Have a blast.
00:31:51Mwah.
00:31:52Mwah.
00:31:53No.
00:31:54No!
00:31:57Oh, my God.
00:31:58Mm.
00:31:59Mm.
00:32:00Mm.
00:32:02I don't want them watching.
00:32:13Lipnix.
00:32:14What the hell kind of name is that, anyway?
00:32:16It's a name that's gonna make you money, Rick.
00:32:18Okay, now, what's the plan of attack?
00:32:20VCs or angels?
00:32:21No, no, no, no.
00:32:22I'd go big.
00:32:23On that note, I know you guys can't afford a 15% finder's fee,
00:32:25so I figured I'd make it 10.
00:32:28A five is industry standard.
00:32:30Come on, Scotty.
00:32:345.5.
00:32:358.5.
00:32:36No!
00:32:37That hurts.
00:32:38Damn.
00:32:39Okay.
00:32:40Uh, 5.5, fine.
00:32:42Not a cent less, not a cent more.
00:32:50Gentlemen, our board of directors loves your plan.
00:32:54However, our CEO is leaving town for two weeks,
00:32:57so we'd like to ask you not to approach any other companies
00:32:59until she's back, and then we can finalize your contract.
00:33:02Uh, well, we have two other meetings set up.
00:33:05We do?
00:33:08Yeah, we do.
00:33:09Two weeks is a long time.
00:33:10Come on.
00:33:11She knows the deal.
00:33:12Why not just give us the answer right now?
00:33:14I wish I could, but she's heading to the airport right now.
00:33:19Is that your CEO right there?
00:33:21Yes, and that's Miss Birch.
00:33:24Come on, just let us talk to her for, like, one minute.
00:33:26I'm afraid I can't.
00:33:28Well, we're afraid we'll have to pursue our other options then.
00:33:33Give me one minute.
00:33:37The gentlemen from the restaurant are here.
00:33:38They'd like to speak with you just briefly.
00:33:40I'm on my way to a business and golf trip.
00:33:42I don't have time for this.
00:33:43Please just reschedule.
00:33:47Now is not the time.
00:33:50Now is not a good time to talk to her.
00:33:52I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait.
00:33:54Did I hear her say something about a golf outing?
00:33:56Miss Birch is on her way to a financial summit in Scottsdale, Arizona,
00:33:59but all the best deals are done on the links.
00:34:02You know what?
00:34:03We might just have to go and play the back nine with her.
00:34:08I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
00:34:14You know, there actually are other places we can go.
00:34:16I think we should look into it.
00:34:18Okay.
00:34:19Okay.
00:34:20Grandmother's famous recipe for tongue on rye.
00:34:26You sound like you said tongue.
00:34:28I did.
00:34:31It's cow tongue.
00:34:32Oh, cow tongue.
00:34:33Yeah, you know, I'm a diabetic,
00:34:35so tongue, lips, face, all that stuff from the neck up,
00:34:38I'm not supposed to digest it.
00:34:40Nice try.
00:34:42I'm going to track her down in Scottsdale, Arizona.
00:34:44I think her comment was a test.
00:34:47She purposefully said it loud enough so that way we would hear it.
00:34:50No.
00:34:52Yeah, look, these big player types, to them, this is all just a game.
00:34:56And why else would they go and do business on a golf course?
00:34:59Can you help me?
00:35:01I'm at a loss.
00:35:02So let's play it.
00:35:03Let's play their game.
00:35:06I'm going to go to the resort and blend in with the millionaire crowd.
00:35:09No offense, dude, but that takes a major turn.
00:35:13That takes some major camouflage.
00:35:15Hey.
00:35:16Just let me worry about that, okay?
00:35:18Okay, look, man.
00:35:19A last-minute plane ticket, huh?
00:35:21A five-star executive suite?
00:35:22Plus your blending in would cost more than we all can afford put together.
00:35:26So sorry to be a prick,
00:35:27but we all know how your financial adventures turned out in the past.
00:35:30Look, that was a long time ago, okay?
00:35:32I have learned from those mistakes.
00:35:34I'm not so sure.
00:35:35Okay, what have we got to lose?
00:35:37Other than our own shirts.
00:35:40Let's see if you can pull this off.
00:35:43Where are we going to get the seed money?
00:35:45What, are we going to ask the Lipnicks?
00:35:47We can't gamble on their money.
00:35:48We haven't made them any money.
00:35:49It's ridiculous.
00:35:51Okay, you know what?
00:35:52Let's just eat.
00:35:53Come on.
00:35:54We've been waiting all day to see you try this.
00:35:57Pickle first?
00:35:58Nope.
00:36:03What's this?
00:36:05Open it.
00:36:06What is it?
00:36:12It's our new visa.
00:36:14Might as well break it in.
00:36:18What if the deal doesn't go through?
00:36:21At least I'll have a happy husband.
00:36:24Happy he at least gave it a try.
00:36:28I love you.
00:36:34Go get him, Tiger.
00:36:36Go get him.
00:36:49Here you go.
00:36:57Thank you, my good man.
00:36:59And we never met.
00:37:01Fair enough.
00:37:06Let's go.
00:37:16You guys have room for one more?
00:37:23Hi.
00:37:35Bitch.
00:38:05Sorry.
00:38:32Sorry, just a little, uh...
00:38:34little tournament stress.
00:38:35Uh, I'm just gonna...
00:38:37I'm just gonna go again.
00:38:49Relax.
00:38:51Relax.
00:38:52Eyes on the ball.
00:38:54Head down.
00:38:55Feet shoulder width apart.
00:38:58Eyes on the ball.
00:38:59Keep your head down.
00:39:01Eyes on the ball.
00:39:02Head on the ball.
00:39:04Mind on the ball.
00:39:14Wow.
00:39:15You are still the same lousy shooter after all this time.
00:39:18Nothing's changed.
00:39:20What?
00:39:21That's what my friends used to call me back in high school.
00:39:23I'm Alex Birch.
00:39:24Nice to make your acquaintance again.
00:39:26Miss Birch.
00:39:27Nice to meet you.
00:39:29Again?
00:39:33Alex?
00:39:35Alex Rolverson?
00:39:37It's Alex Birch now.
00:39:38My married name.
00:39:40No way!
00:39:43Oh my God!
00:39:44How are you?
00:39:51Wow.
00:39:53You haven't changed much.
00:39:55Come on.
00:39:56At least say I lost some of my baby fat.
00:39:59Yeah, of course.
00:40:00I mean, you looked great in high school.
00:40:03But you look even better now.
00:40:06Thanks.
00:40:08You look good too.
00:40:10Especially on that first tee.
00:40:12Wow.
00:40:14So how is it that you ended up in L.A. franchising restaurants?
00:40:18I don't know.
00:40:24I was in New York for seven years playing the market.
00:40:26I did okay.
00:40:27But then, like everyone else, when the market crashed, I lost my shirt.
00:40:31So I decided to move to L.A.
00:40:34Start fresh.
00:40:36My buddy Scott Askey.
00:40:37You remember Scotty?
00:40:38Mm-hmm.
00:40:39Yeah, he decided to put me up until I could get back on my feet.
00:40:42Hmm.
00:40:43I guess Scotty and I share something.
00:40:45Getting you back on your feet.
00:40:48It's funny how we ended up being neighbors again.
00:40:50Well, I live in the Fairfax district.
00:40:53I live in the Fairfax district.
00:40:55I'm guessing you're more of a Beverly Hills, Malibu girl.
00:41:03So, Alex Birch now, huh?
00:41:07Wow, that is just...
00:41:11Is your husband here with you?
00:41:13My ex-husband.
00:41:16Frankly, I don't know where he is.
00:41:20I don't like the word divorcee, so...
00:41:23I like to refer to myself as a free bird.
00:41:26And you?
00:41:28Uh, married...
00:41:31four months ago.
00:41:33Congrats.
00:41:34Is she here?
00:41:36I'd love to meet her.
00:41:38No, I came alone.
00:41:39This is a business trip, after all.
00:41:43Though, given our history, I don't know if business is such a good idea.
00:41:48You still haven't forgiven me.
00:41:51Look, um...
00:41:53maybe I can make it up to you now.
00:41:56Join me for dinner?
00:41:58I will order something extra special.
00:42:01Corn dogs with a side of mac and cheese.
00:42:05You remember that?
00:42:07You'd be surprised by what else I remember.
00:42:14Hey, um...
00:42:16I was gonna go to a club tonight to see some jazz.
00:42:20You wanna come with me?
00:42:23Yes.
00:42:25Who says no to jazz?
00:42:51So...
00:42:53how many do you want?
00:42:55What?
00:42:57How many franchise branches do you want?
00:43:00Oh, um...
00:43:03well, our initial rollout plan was to have 25 in five years.
00:43:09How about 50 in three years?
00:43:12I'm not sure I'm in the right place.
00:43:15I'm not sure I'm in the right place.
00:43:18How about 50 in three years?
00:43:22What would be the terms?
00:43:25If you can stay...
00:43:27we can work out the details over the next few days.
00:43:32I don't know what to say.
00:43:36You could say no.
00:43:47Who told you to change partners?
00:43:49Alex, you're supposed to be with Steve.
00:43:51Mike with Kimberly.
00:43:53And no head on chest.
00:43:55Would she ask my permission?
00:43:57You could say no.
00:43:59Why would I? I love her.
00:44:17♪
00:44:28♪
00:44:29♪
00:44:30♪
00:44:31♪
00:44:32♪
00:44:33♪
00:44:34♪
00:44:35♪
00:44:36♪
00:44:37♪
00:44:38♪
00:44:39Hey, babe.
00:44:40Hey, what's going on?
00:44:41It's Scott and Dylan.
00:44:42We've been trying to reach you.
00:44:43Sup, man?
00:44:44Oh, yeah, I'm good.
00:44:46Everything's good here.
00:44:47Just, uh, working on the deal.
00:44:51You sound awful.
00:44:52Are you getting enough sleep?
00:44:54Not really.
00:44:55Uh, wheeling and dealing is...
00:44:57it is... it is hard work.
00:45:00Okay, wheeling and dealing.
00:45:01Listen, I got a couple questions, man.
00:45:03I wanted to go over to you before the meeting.
00:45:04What time is the meeting?
00:45:06It's finished.
00:45:07Damn it!
00:45:09Mike, why didn't you call me
00:45:10before you screwed everything up, man?
00:45:12Dude, chill out, okay?
00:45:16I nailed it.
00:45:17Guess what, we got 50 branches.
00:45:20We got 50 branches?
00:45:24All right, what's the catch, Mike?
00:45:27No catch.
00:45:28I just gotta stay here for a couple more days
00:45:30and finalize the details.
00:45:33That's unbelievable!
00:45:34That's fantastic!
00:45:35How did you talk her into that?
00:45:36I will tell you all about that when I get back.
00:45:39When are you back?
00:45:40When are you coming back?
00:45:41When are you coming back?
00:45:42I miss you!
00:45:45Okay, yeah, I miss you too.
00:45:47I gotta go.
00:45:48There is a meeting.
00:45:49It is urgent, okay?
00:45:50I'll talk to you later.
00:45:51Bye.
00:45:54Cheers.
00:45:55Cheers.
00:45:56We did it.
00:45:58Good morning, Lazy Bone.
00:45:59Morning.
00:46:01Who was that?
00:46:02My wife?
00:46:03No.
00:46:04Yeah, it was.
00:46:06And Scotty.
00:46:08Come on, let's beat everyone to the links.
00:46:11I'm not exactly a match for you.
00:46:16I mean, I'm a beginner at this.
00:46:20Remember when you taught me how to dance?
00:46:22I used to trip all over the floor.
00:46:24Well, it's payback time.
00:46:26Come on.
00:46:27Go, get dressed.
00:46:41It's been way too long.
00:46:42I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:43I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:44Oh, this feeling.
00:46:45I've rediscovered.
00:46:46It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:46:47And it feels so good.
00:46:48It's been way too long.
00:46:49I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:50I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:51Oh, this feeling.
00:46:52I've rediscovered.
00:46:53It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:46:54And it feels so good.
00:46:55It's been way too long.
00:46:56I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:57I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:46:58Oh, this feeling.
00:46:59I've rediscovered.
00:47:00It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:01And it feels so good.
00:47:02It's been way too long.
00:47:03I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:47:04Oh, this feeling.
00:47:05I've rediscovered.
00:47:06It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:07And it feels so good.
00:47:08It's been way too long.
00:47:09I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:47:10I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:47:11Oh, this feeling.
00:47:12I've rediscovered.
00:47:13It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:14And it feels so good.
00:47:15It's been way too long.
00:47:16I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:47:17I just remember that I forgot about you.
00:47:18Oh, this feeling.
00:47:19I've rediscovered.
00:47:20It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:21And it feels so good.
00:47:22It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:23Oh, this feeling.
00:47:24I've rediscovered.
00:47:25It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:26And it feels so good.
00:47:27Oh, this feeling.
00:47:28I've rediscovered.
00:47:29It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:30Oh, this feeling.
00:47:31I've rediscovered.
00:47:32It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:33Oh, this feeling.
00:47:34I've rediscovered.
00:47:35It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:36Oh, this feeling.
00:47:37I've rediscovered.
00:47:38It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:39Oh, this feeling.
00:47:40I've rediscovered.
00:47:41It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:42Oh, this feeling.
00:47:43I've rediscovered.
00:47:44It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:45Oh, this feeling.
00:47:46I've rediscovered.
00:47:47It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:48Oh, this feeling.
00:47:49I've rediscovered.
00:47:50It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:51Oh, this feeling.
00:47:52I've rediscovered.
00:47:53It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:54Oh, this feeling.
00:47:55I've rediscovered.
00:47:56It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:47:57Oh, this feeling.
00:47:58I've rediscovered.
00:47:59It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:00Oh, this feeling.
00:48:01I've rediscovered.
00:48:02It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:03Oh, this feeling.
00:48:04I've rediscovered.
00:48:05It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:06Oh, this feeling.
00:48:07I've rediscovered.
00:48:08It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:09Oh, this feeling.
00:48:10I've rediscovered.
00:48:11It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:12Oh, this feeling.
00:48:13I've rediscovered.
00:48:14It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:15Oh, this feeling.
00:48:16I've rediscovered.
00:48:17It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:18Oh, this feeling.
00:48:19I've rediscovered.
00:48:20It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:21Oh, this feeling.
00:48:22I've rediscovered.
00:48:23It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:24Oh, this feeling.
00:48:25I've rediscovered.
00:48:26It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:27Oh, this feeling.
00:48:28I've rediscovered.
00:48:29It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:30Oh, this feeling.
00:48:31I've rediscovered.
00:48:32It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:33Oh, this feeling.
00:48:34I've rediscovered.
00:48:35It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:36Oh, this feeling.
00:48:37I've rediscovered.
00:48:38It's got me breathing like a teenage lover.
00:48:39I should remember that I forgot about you.
00:48:44I should remember that I forgot about you.
00:48:49I should remember that I forgot about you.
00:48:52Well, if your flight was at 3 o'clock,
00:48:55I could have dropped you off at the airport.
00:48:57I know.
00:48:58I know.
00:48:59You've got to run.
00:49:00The tournament's about to start.
00:49:02If you wait until Monday, we could go together.
00:49:05I have to report back to my boss before I get fired.
00:49:09I understand.
00:49:12I really enjoyed our time together.
00:49:15Me too.
00:49:17I'll see you in L.A.?
00:49:26Mwah.
00:49:36Dude, you look like shit.
00:49:38Nice to see you too.
00:49:40Did you get the L.O.I. sign?
00:49:42Not yet.
00:49:44Bro, you know how iffy these deals can be.
00:49:46You said you had it in the bag.
00:49:47Dude, relax.
00:49:49The deal is locked in.
00:49:51What makes you so sure?
00:49:54I found a shortcut.
00:49:57I found a shortcut.
00:50:01I found a shortcut.
00:50:06You know their CEO, Alex Birch?
00:50:09Her maiden name is Alex Rolverson.
00:50:14Alex...
00:50:16Alex Rolverson?
00:50:18The prom queen who went missing, Alex Rolverson?
00:50:22You got to be kidding me.
00:50:25So why didn't you get the L.O.I. signed again?
00:50:27Alex is coming to the restaurant on Friday.
00:50:28I thought it'd be more official that way.
00:50:30Hmm.
00:50:31So if you weren't there closing the deal,
00:50:33what were you doing there the whole time?
00:50:35Hmm?
00:50:36We were just catching up on things.
00:50:38You know?
00:50:39Doing the whole PR game with her.
00:50:41Telling her what a great franchise Lipnicks is gonna be.
00:50:46Five days is a long time to talk.
00:50:49Did she tell you why she went missing prom night?
00:50:52Oh, okay.
00:50:54You know what?
00:50:58Wait, what are you doing?
00:51:01Rick.
00:51:03Yeah, look, can you set up the backup meetings
00:51:05for Fresco and Casey and company?
00:51:07Really?
00:51:09Yeah, exactly.
00:51:11Okay, thanks, man.
00:51:14What are you doing?
00:51:15Yeah, I've been doing some talking to myself, all right?
00:51:17Just in case.
00:51:18Dude, we have a deal.
00:51:20I don't want a deal.
00:51:21I don't even think we should be doing business with her
00:51:23in the first place.
00:51:24Scott, are you worried too much?
00:51:26Yeah, yeah.
00:51:27I'm the idiot, you're the optimist.
00:51:29Forgot.
00:51:42Shit.
00:51:44Does Alex really live there?
00:51:47Dude, if I were you, I wouldn't dare go anywhere near her.
00:51:51Yeah, Mike, I think you should really reconsider Kimberly.
00:51:54Dude, she probably thinks you're some millionaire son
00:51:56with all those boss shirts you've been borrowing from Scott.
00:51:59Those boss shirts that I've been borrowing from Scott
00:52:01don't even make Scott look like a millionaire, dude.
00:52:03You guys are just jealous.
00:52:04I'm an optimist, all right?
00:52:06I look at the brighter side of things.
00:52:08Okay.
00:52:09Bye-bye.
00:52:11You want us to wait?
00:52:12No.
00:52:13Alex said we'll take her limo.
00:52:20Okay, let's go.
00:52:22Nah, wait a sec.
00:52:27Okay.
00:52:37I'm here to pick up Alex.
00:52:39She's expecting me.
00:52:41Tux, corsage, prom date.
00:52:44You're mistaking, young man.
00:52:45Miss Alex is left for the weekend.
00:52:47Oh, come on, big guy.
00:52:49No, we have a date.
00:52:52Sorry, I mean, it's prom.
00:52:53She can't be gone.
00:52:54She has to be here.
00:52:55Can I call her down here so I can talk to her?
00:52:57Are you implying that I've lied to you?
00:52:58No.
00:52:59No, no, no, no.
00:53:00Just that there's apparently a misunderstanding.
00:53:02Is there someone else that I could talk to?
00:53:04Like, how about the driver?
00:53:05I mean, he must know her place.
00:53:06I'm the limo driver.
00:53:08What?
00:53:09How do you guard the house and drive?
00:53:10That's none of your business what I do.
00:53:12Now, you need to leave.
00:53:13You can do that the easy way or the hard way.
00:53:16I strongly suggest the easy way.
00:53:19Up to you.
00:53:26Okay.
00:53:39Alex! Alex! Alex!
00:53:42Give him to me.
00:53:43Alex, come outside! Come outside right now!
00:53:45I'm here to pick you up!
00:53:46Alex!
00:53:47Okay, okay.
00:53:49Alex!
00:53:51Alex, come outside!
00:53:54Alex, I'm here to pick you up, I have your corsage!
00:53:57It's purple, it matches my tie, Alex!
00:54:06You okay?
00:54:06Yeah.
00:54:21No, stop!
00:54:22What?
00:54:24Shit, sorry, honey, I was just having a bad dream.
00:54:30Hey, wifey.
00:54:31Hi, honey.
00:54:37You're jet-lagged like you went to Europe or something.
00:54:44Look at that picture there.
00:54:47Don't worry, one day Lib Nix
00:54:49is gonna have all the magazine ads.
00:54:52I'm not talking about that one.
00:54:54The one to the right of it.
00:54:57That magazine went out of business.
00:54:58They're gonna be gone within a month.
00:55:00Can you stop talking about business?
00:55:03I'm talking about family.
00:55:07Of course, I'm talking about family too.
00:55:09I am talking about our family's future.
00:55:16I wanna have twins just like that.
00:55:18One that looks like you and one that looks like me.
00:55:21Identical twins are so boring.
00:55:24I'm sorry.
00:55:28What do you mean?
00:55:30I kind of wasted your money, I think.
00:55:33I don't think there's gonna be a deal.
00:55:35But you know what, there are other companies
00:55:36we're gonna go to.
00:55:37I know a whole bunch of people we can talk to.
00:55:40Relax, you don't have to.
00:55:44Let's just be happy with what we have.
00:55:47I missed you.
00:55:48Yeah?
00:55:49Yeah.
00:55:52How much?
00:55:53A lot.
00:55:54Really?
00:55:55Mm-hmm.
00:56:01Hey.
00:56:07Hey, what are you doing here?
00:56:09I'm here to pick up my sister.
00:56:11I'm here to pick up my sister.
00:56:12I'm here to pick up my sister.
00:56:14I'm here to pick up my sister.
00:56:16You are?
00:56:26Good evening, madam,
00:56:27welcome to Lipnick's Table For Two.
00:56:29Just one.
00:56:34We just won't be right with you.
00:56:36I suppose you're Dylan.
00:56:38Yeah, have we met before?
00:56:42Alex.
00:56:43Alex Birch.
00:56:44Oh.
00:56:46Hi, it's so nice to meet you.
00:56:48Nice to meet you as well.
00:56:49Hey, Alex.
00:56:50Wow, what a surprise.
00:56:54This is my wife, Dylan.
00:56:56Dylan, this is Alex Birch.
00:57:00She's the CEO of Girthens.
00:57:02I'm just an old high school classmate.
00:57:04Yeah, Mike told me.
00:57:07Please make yourself comfortable and welcome.
00:57:10Thank you.
00:57:16She's beautiful.
00:57:19Why'd you go to Fresco?
00:57:25They're my main competitors.
00:57:27I talked to some of my partners and they were afraid of a conflict of interest.
00:57:37Mike, cut the bullshit.
00:57:38You don't trust me, do you?
00:57:42What's this?
00:58:03Proof of trust.
00:58:04Cash it anytime you see a red flag.
00:58:06So come by my office, sign the contract, and let's finalize this deal once and for all.
00:58:40Look at Mike, that's a lot of fucking money.
00:58:43By the way, I think I'm really starting to like Alex.
00:58:45You can't get a better proof of trust than that check.
00:58:47Okay, so what exactly do you know about the divorce?
00:58:51Nothing other than the fact that she just had a rough time.
00:58:54Okay, well, I heard differently at the reunion last year.
00:58:56Apparently, she dumped a guy after one year and ended up with most of his money.
00:58:59You know what, that's probably just a lot of people talking smack.
00:59:01You know, I don't really care, Mike.
00:59:03I just want to know, is there anything between you two?
00:59:07Dude, we all worked hard on this.
00:59:09Damn it, Scott, are you not seeing the frickin' value in a million dollar check?
00:59:13All those zeros, are you kidding me?
00:59:15Really?
00:59:16You know what, I'm not letting this come between us.
00:59:17I'm just returning it.
00:59:18What?
00:59:19Can you, can I just hold it one last time?
00:59:23Hey, there will be plenty to hold in the future, buddy.
00:59:32Fuck!
00:59:56You.
00:59:57Who are you, sir? You look familiar.
00:59:59Yeah, so do you.
01:00:01You remind me of some a-hole back in Puncton, Kansas when I was a kid.
01:00:05Oh, yeah, I remember you.
01:00:07Sorry, kid.
01:00:08I mean, sir.
01:00:10I was just doing my job.
01:00:11Come on in.
01:00:14You still pissed at me?
01:00:21You know, if you'd have been four inches shorter back then, I would have taught you some manners.
01:00:27You know, she was home that night.
01:00:31She lied to me?
01:00:32I lied.
01:00:33She cried in her room for days, maybe weeks.
01:00:35Baby girl was in some major pain.
01:00:37Seems boss man has some sort of stick up his ass about your family being too, too common.
01:00:44She doesn't like to receive greetings on her birthday these days.
01:00:46Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:00:47Today's her birthday?
01:00:48You didn't know?
01:00:50Then why are you here?
01:00:51Shit.
01:00:52I should have brought a gift.
01:01:07Holy shit.
01:01:09I know.
01:01:11Who else lives here with her?
01:01:12Just her.
01:01:14This way.
01:01:23No hard feelings, sir?
01:01:27Carry on.
01:01:38Hi.
01:01:47Happy birthday.
01:01:50Thanks.
01:01:52Why don't you come down to Lipnick's?
01:01:53We'll make you a nice birthday meal.
01:01:58I want to be alone, Mike.
01:02:01I think I deserve that.
01:02:03Come on, don't be like that.
01:02:08Can you...
01:02:11Never mind.
01:02:15What?
01:02:16Can you spare, like, three hours for me?
01:02:22No one else?
01:02:25I promise, no business.
01:02:33I didn't think so.
01:02:35Okay.
01:02:38What do you want to do?
01:02:46I want to be alone.
01:03:07Can you hear me?
01:03:11Now can you hear me?
01:03:12Yes, I can.
01:03:16Thank you.
01:03:47I want to be alone.
01:04:06Holy cow.
01:04:11Wow.
01:04:13This was your husband's?
01:04:15No, it was my family's.
01:04:17But it's mine now that my dad's passed away.
01:04:19Wow.
01:04:23Actually, I've got some clothes for you,
01:04:24if you want to change.
01:04:26Right through there.
01:04:27Yeah.
01:04:46Hi.
01:04:52Here you go.
01:04:53Is there anything else I can do for you, Ms. Roberson?
01:04:55No, thank you.
01:04:57You can go home for the rest of the night.
01:05:01Happy birthday.
01:05:03Thanks.
01:05:09You know, there's a movie theater inside,
01:05:12and I have Superman all cued up and ready to go.
01:05:16Superman, wow.
01:05:19That brings back memories.
01:05:22I know.
01:05:25You watched it two times in a row.
01:05:28At the drive-in.
01:05:31How did you know that?
01:05:34I was there, in the last row, watching you.
01:05:41I came there because I wanted to say goodbye,
01:05:44and I wanted to apologize, but I wasn't allowed to.
01:05:49I tried every excuse in the book to sneak out of that car
01:05:51and come see you, but the driver wouldn't let me.
01:05:56My dad's orders.
01:06:05To Superman.
01:06:07Truth, justice, and the American way.
01:06:08You remember that scene when he's
01:06:13able to spin the Earth backwards?
01:06:16Yeah.
01:06:19Sometimes I wish I could spin the world back 13 years,
01:06:21you know?
01:06:24Me too.
01:06:31I can't.
01:06:32I can't.
01:06:37I understand.
01:06:41I can't, but...
01:06:42I can't.
01:07:01So you gonna tell me where you disappeared to last night?
01:07:03Oh, um, I thought I told you.
01:07:06I went to Alex's office.
01:07:08Scott told me, but I thought that was yesterday afternoon.
01:07:11Yeah, yeah, you know what?
01:07:13Yesterday was her birthday, and I didn't even know.
01:07:16Yeah, they had a big beach party for her
01:07:18out at her house in Malibu.
01:07:20I couldn't say no.
01:07:22I was gonna call you, but...
01:07:23No, it's fine.
01:07:25Just didn't want you to drink and drive.
01:07:28Just worried about you.
01:07:36We had a very good meeting with Fresco.
01:07:39You want to know the way I see it?
01:07:42All right, look, Fresco made a valid point.
01:07:44We should start with five wrenches.
01:07:45That way we all get to bed on time and still reach our goal.
01:07:48Jesus, Grandpa, what are you, 80?
01:07:50We need to enter this thing with a big bang.
01:07:52Can't leave room for lots of little copycats
01:07:54to start popping up.
01:07:55Yeah, and I don't even know why we took that meeting today.
01:07:57I mean, we have a better deal at Girthin's.
01:08:00Thank you.
01:08:06Did you fuck her?
01:08:07Scott.
01:08:08Just checking.
01:08:12Rick, could you give us a minute?
01:08:15Could you give us a minute, please?
01:08:23OK, look, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that.
01:08:25But where were you last night, Mike?
01:08:28Scotty, let's talk business, OK?
01:08:29No biases, no conflicts of interest.
01:08:32She is giving us the deal of a lifetime.
01:08:35I never disagreed with that.
01:08:36And for the record, she did not stand me up at prom.
01:08:38It was her dad, not her.
01:08:41Well, what happened to her check?
01:08:42Did you return it?
01:08:50Scott?
01:08:51Scotty?
01:08:52Scott's there.
01:08:54Do not fuck this up.
01:08:56Just let's look at it this way.
01:08:58As long as we're making a pile of cash,
01:09:00who really cares who fucks who?
01:09:03Uh, Scotty, no goof-ups.
01:09:09Trust me.
01:09:10Yeah, I promise.
01:09:13Well, I think the proposal is perfect as is.
01:09:15So I'm signing off on it.
01:09:22We have a deal.
01:09:24We have a deal.
01:09:26We have a deal.
01:09:32I think you know.
01:09:37You know the truth.
01:09:41You can see it in my eyes.
01:09:45Every time I look through you, it won't be long before you do.
01:09:57That embrace of one desire.
01:10:01Well, I love you.
01:10:05I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:10:10I felt like my life had passed me by until I saw you again.
01:10:15I'm committed, Mike.
01:10:17I'm willing to be in this for the long haul.
01:10:21But it's up to you.
01:10:26I'll wait until Christmas to hear your answer.
01:10:31Yeah.
01:10:42I fucking knew it.
01:10:45You playing with people's lives again?
01:10:51You are a dangerous man to know, Mike.
01:10:54I know.
01:10:55I'm sorry.
01:10:57What do I tell Dylan?
01:10:59I'm not a freaking counselor, Mike.
01:11:02What kind of question is that?
01:11:03Do I dump my wife before I close the deal?
01:11:07Or do I close the deal and then dump her?
01:11:12Well, what would you do if you were me?
01:11:14Me?
01:11:16Well, taking Kimberly to the prom 13 years ago, OK?
01:11:20That's about what I'd tell you.
01:11:21Dude, come on.
01:11:22Like, I really need your help.
01:11:25You're my best friend.
01:11:27Why do you keep getting yourself in the same situations over and over?
01:11:34You got a rich girl on one side and a poor one on the other.
01:11:44You call me a gold digger.
01:11:48I'll answer that later.
01:11:51First, you tell me.
01:11:54Did you sleep with her or not?
01:11:58No.
01:12:01Oh, shit.
01:12:04Do you love her?
01:12:08Oh, shit.
01:12:12What do I do?
01:12:13How am I supposed to know?
01:12:17Remember, you're the one who looks at everything on the bright side.
01:12:22I'll tell you what.
01:12:24Do both women.
01:12:26Do both women.
01:12:27Keep the franchise and two helicopters, too.
01:12:32And I'll stay quiet for life.
01:12:35Know why?
01:12:38Because I'm your best friend.
01:12:40You're drunk.
01:12:41Come on.
01:12:42Let me go.
01:12:43You're the one who needs a hand.
01:12:45Finish that.
01:13:15Dearest Dylan,
01:13:17I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to tell you this in person.
01:13:20I have so much gratitude for you in my heart for all the love
01:13:23and everything you and your family have done for me.
01:13:27But I haven't lived up to your love.
01:13:30I have a confession.
01:13:33I have fallen in love with Alex.
01:13:36Perhaps I've been in love with her my entire life.
01:13:39She was my childhood sweetheart.
01:13:42Until the past few months, to me, she was a dream unfulfilled.
01:13:47I recently found out that I was her dream, too.
01:13:51When we reconnected after such a long time,
01:13:54we instantly felt that nothing between us has changed with time.
01:13:58In fact,
01:14:00our love has grown in the last few weeks.
01:14:03If I deny these feelings,
01:14:05I'll be a lousy husband cheating on a loyal,
01:14:08wonderful wife like you.
01:14:12You deserve more.
01:14:15You deserve better.
01:14:19It is with sorrow that I am writing this to you
01:14:22to request a divorce.
01:14:28Hopefully one without too much animosity.
01:14:41Okay.
01:14:58Okay.
01:15:05Yeah.
01:15:12He's here. He's here. Mike's here.
01:15:15He's here.
01:15:18Wait. Wait. Wait.
01:15:21You can't escape that easily.
01:15:23Come on over here. Come.
01:15:25Come on.
01:15:30Come in. Zets.
01:15:34Sit.
01:15:37So now that we have our man, let me say a few words.
01:15:41As you all know,
01:15:43our beloved Mike surprised us very much
01:15:47with his unexpected Jewishness
01:15:49and his total conversion.
01:15:51And recently,
01:15:53he surprised us with his Lipnick's franchise plan.
01:15:57He's a man of many surprises.
01:16:00So now it's our turn.
01:16:02Time to give Mike the surprise of his life.
01:16:05And when he hears this, believe me,
01:16:08he won't forget this day so long as he lives.
01:16:11So without further ado,
01:16:13I want to announce today
01:16:17that
01:16:19I'm going to be a great-grandfather!
01:16:23I'm going to be a great-grandfather!
01:16:25A great-grandpa! Mazel Tov!
01:16:27Mike's going to be a father!
01:16:29Everybody, raise your glass.
01:16:31L'chaim! L'chaim!
01:16:33What a mitzvah. Oh, look at them.
01:16:35What a couple.
01:16:37Oh, they're so beautiful.
01:16:38Nice, beautiful Jewish children
01:16:40they're going to have.
01:16:42Oh, my. Mazel Tov.
01:16:44Oh, it's so wonderful.
01:16:46Thank you.
01:16:48Oh, I'm so proud of you.
01:16:50Oh, you'll have twins.
01:16:52Maybe quintuplets.
01:16:54Oh, a bunch of little Jewish babies running around.
01:16:57Holy shit. Holy shit.
01:16:59Holy shit.
01:17:02Scotty.
01:17:06Scotty.
01:17:08Pick up. Pick up.
01:17:11Hey, dude, what's up?
01:17:13She's pregnant.
01:17:15Who?
01:17:17What?
01:17:19I'm sorry, but with you I need to ask who.
01:17:21Dylan.
01:17:23Holy shit.
01:17:25Exactly. There's more.
01:17:27Always.
01:17:29I sent an email to her
01:17:31telling her about Alex.
01:17:33You sent an email?
01:17:35That's harsh.
01:17:36Scotty, focus, okay?
01:17:38Focus.
01:17:40Help now, judge later.
01:17:42I need you to call your tech guys
01:17:44and ask them how to recover an email.
01:17:46Don't you know her password?
01:17:49No.
01:17:51Shit.
01:17:53Mike, there's no way to recall an email.
01:17:55Trust me.
01:17:57Shit.
01:17:59Shit.
01:18:01Okay.
01:18:03Okay, Mike.
01:18:04Get it together, Mike.
01:18:06Get it together.
01:18:08There's at least 50 restaurants here.
01:18:10I never, ever thought we'd be able to retire,
01:18:12but if this works out, maybe we can.
01:18:14Or at least cut back on our hours.
01:18:16Retire?
01:18:18Oh, sweetheart.
01:18:20We're not gonna retire.
01:18:22We're just gonna begin to live.
01:18:24I gotta go.
01:18:26Okay. I'll see you at home.
01:18:28I'll show him the rest.
01:18:30All right, let's see.
01:18:32He did this all himself.
01:18:34Hey.
01:18:36Hey, hey, hey.
01:18:38What was that?
01:18:40What?
01:18:42Hey, what?
01:18:44Huh?
01:18:46What is it?
01:18:48Oh, it's nothing.
01:18:49It's nothing.
01:18:51I have a friend who said he'd leave me for a couple months.
01:18:53A boy?
01:18:55Yeah.
01:18:57What?
01:18:59I mean, maybe it's a romantic relationship.
01:19:01What?
01:19:03♪ All alone here with memories
01:19:12♪ I'm my own worst enemy these days
01:19:34Sorry.
01:19:36Didn't mean to wake you up.
01:19:37I wasn't sleeping.
01:19:39I was at the office with Scott and Ben.
01:19:42We went to dinner and-
01:19:43It's okay.
01:19:44Come on in.
01:19:48I read your email.
01:19:56I'm sorry.
01:19:58Okay, I-
01:20:00I wouldn't have said it if I had known.
01:20:02The news earlier.
01:20:05So you would have continued to cheat on your wife?
01:20:09For how long?
01:20:10No, no, no.
01:20:12I-I don't mean that.
01:20:13I just mean I-
01:20:14I would have waited for the-
01:20:15the right time.
01:20:17The right time.
01:20:19And when would that be?
01:20:21Dylan, I am sorry.
01:20:23Okay, it's just I'm kind of in a corner right now.
01:20:27She wants to leave by Christmas
01:20:29and I wanted an answer before then.
01:20:33Oh, she does, does she?
01:20:38Okay.
01:20:40Well, at first I was upset.
01:20:44After I calmed myself down a bit,
01:20:47I thought about it.
01:20:49I tried to be objective.
01:20:52Tried to understand where you were coming from.
01:20:57Thank you.
01:20:59And I've come to a decision.
01:21:04The answer is no.
01:21:08What?
01:21:09You heard me.
01:21:11No.
01:21:14What do you mean, no?
01:21:18No to what?
01:21:19To a divorce.
01:21:20No.
01:21:24I understand where you're coming from.
01:21:27Okay, knowing what we know now,
01:21:30I'm not going to insist on it right away, obviously.
01:21:33No.
01:21:34Not by tomorrow.
01:21:35Not by Christmas.
01:21:36Not by any deadline she may give you.
01:21:38I'm not signing divorce papers for you ever in my life.
01:21:41Period.
01:21:43Goodnight.
01:21:51So you have to go by Christmas?
01:21:53Look, I understand your dilemma, Mike.
01:21:57Just let me go.
01:22:00Be with her.
01:22:02I'm not going to force you into anything.
01:22:05And don't worry,
01:22:06I'm not going to back out of the franchise deal.
01:22:09That's not what I'm worried about.
01:22:15She's pregnant.
01:22:21Wow.
01:22:23Congratulations.
01:22:26That's exciting.
01:22:27You are going to be a great dad.
01:22:31I hope your baby gets those beautiful long eyelashes.
01:22:37I wasn't ready for this.
01:22:41I don't want to lose you again, Alex.
01:22:45Okay.
01:22:47I can wait.
01:22:50How long do you think?
01:22:54I'm afraid it may never happen.
01:23:00Okay.
01:23:02It's all right, Mike.
01:23:04I just want you to be happy.
01:23:08It's all right.
01:23:09No, it's not me.
01:23:12She said no.
01:23:14No to the divorce.
01:23:15Not now, not ever.
01:23:19Gosh, he sounds just like my ex-husband.
01:23:22He never wanted to let me go either.
01:23:26That blood-sucking leech.
01:23:29Should have known better than to sign that prenup.
01:23:32So stupid.
01:23:36Never sign a prenuptial agreement
01:23:39without reading it carefully.
01:23:41There are so many snakes to bite you on the ass
01:23:43that the devil's pitchfork up the wazoo
01:23:46would come as a welcome relief by comparison.
01:23:50Scott, how could you not let me read this fucking Bible?
01:23:53I would have done it for free, and you.
01:23:55How do you sign this thing without giving it to me first?
01:23:59All right, all right.
01:24:01Here we go.
01:24:03Here we go.
01:24:04Okay, here is the clause that's the killer.
01:24:06If you ask for a divorce,
01:24:07you have to arrange a formal divorce ceremony.
01:24:11Such ceremony must consist of the guests
01:24:13attending the wedding in the first place.
01:24:15It has to take place in the same wedding venue.
01:24:17The couple will wear the same attire from their wedding day,
01:24:20and only then is she legally bound
01:24:22to sign your divorce application.
01:24:24On top of that, you also have the burden
01:24:26of explaining your reasons for your divorce.
01:24:29The ceremony will be followed by a lavish dinner and dancing,
01:24:32which will be paid for by you.
01:24:39In short, she's a genius.
01:24:44She's got you by the balls, you fuck.
01:24:52Welcome to the club.
01:24:55Although, I have some good news.
01:24:57There's a 10% discount on the people attending.
01:25:05Good luck, buddy.
01:25:14Bastard.
01:25:16Con man.
01:25:18He pulled the I'll be Jewish wool over our eyes.
01:25:21It could be your eyes.
01:25:22I told you it wasn't a proper conversion.
01:25:24Why would you let that bastard live in your place?
01:25:26Why don't you kick him out?
01:25:28Grandpa, how does that help me?
01:25:32We still have somebody to call 911
01:25:34in case, God forbid, something happens to me
01:25:35in the middle of the night.
01:25:36Well, you move in with us.
01:25:38We'll take care of you.
01:25:39Why should you?
01:25:40It's his responsibility, too.
01:25:42When he sees the babies, they say we are pregnant.
01:25:45Why should he have the easy way out?
01:25:46Let him do his share.
01:25:48Having a baby is a bliss.
01:25:51He doesn't deserve to be any part of it.
01:25:53If I were you, I would kick him so far away
01:25:56that even his shadow couldn't touch that baby.
01:25:59Enough!
01:26:0125 years ago, you chased Delilah's father away
01:26:04with the same attitude.
01:26:05And what was the result?
01:26:07He never even showed up for Rachel's funeral.
01:26:11Delilah.
01:26:13This child has never even seen her father
01:26:16in her entire life.
01:26:18I'm so sorry to bring this up now, honey.
01:26:24This is not our decision to make.
01:26:26Fustes?
01:26:33It's Mike.
01:26:34Wait, wait.
01:26:35Please, let me talk to him now.
01:26:38Hey, Grandpa Paul.
01:26:40Hi.
01:27:07I'm assuming Dylan told you.
01:27:13Yes, she told us.
01:27:15I just want us to have the highest regard
01:27:18for you and Elaine.
01:27:19I think Dylan is a wonderful, wonderful woman.
01:27:22I truly love her.
01:27:24I really do.
01:27:25It's just, you know, sometimes fate
01:27:28kind of plays tricks on you.
01:27:30And I never thought I'd run into Alex again
01:27:35in the rest of my life.
01:27:36But I did, and unfortunately,
01:27:38it just kind of happened at the wrong time.
01:27:41What do you want from me?
01:27:45Dylan is not really of a sound mind to listen to me,
01:27:49so I was wondering if you could talk to her
01:27:52and get her to sign these papers.
01:27:54If you do, we can just avoid the whole prenup
01:27:57and just move on.
01:28:01My granddaughter never cared for my advice,
01:28:04even when she was choosing her spouse.
01:28:06But don't be discouraged.
01:28:08I'll do my very best to help you out with your divorce.
01:28:11Living together after this isn't good for anyone.
01:28:15Wait.
01:28:16And, you know, I will do my best work on the franchise.
01:28:21Oh, is this the prenup I already have a copy?
01:28:24No, it's the guest list from your wedding.
01:28:27I thought you said you were going to help me.
01:28:29I just did.
01:28:30I'm now officially running out of your lives.
01:28:34Good luck.
01:28:36Honey, you're going about this all the wrong way.
01:28:38Stop thinking of this as just your divorce
01:28:41and start thinking of this as a celebration
01:28:44of our lives together.
01:28:46Stop being so paranoid.
01:28:48You don't have to be so paranoid.
01:28:50I have to be.
01:28:52You have to.
01:28:53I'm tired of you being paranoid.
01:28:55I'm not a paranoid person,
01:28:57and I'm not a paranoid person.
01:28:59I'm not a paranoid person.
01:29:01I'm not a paranoid person.
01:29:03lives together. Start having fun with it. And if you do, then the guests will be more
01:29:08likely to come. Just think about it. How many divorcees will ever have this kind of an opportunity?
01:29:33Good luck.
01:29:51Every day, every hour, you're on the road. It's a Carmageddon for you, dick.
01:29:55Don't call him that near my school, Mom.
01:29:57Quiet. Mommy and Daddy are talking.
01:29:59It doesn't mean you can take away my day with them.
01:30:08No.
01:30:30This is hilarious.
01:30:33Oh, you gotta accept this funny gift.
01:30:35Hi. Coming to my divorce. You are coming to my divorce. Divorce ceremony. Henleys only, okay?
01:30:41What the fuck? Who the fuck are you? Some high school friend? Some college roommate?
01:30:47Who the fuck is this, Brad?
01:30:49Honey, I have no idea. I swear to God, I don't even know who this idiot is.
01:30:52Brad, it's me, Mike Christian. I'm Dylan Lipnick's husband.
01:30:55Oh! Oh, yeah!
01:30:57So you do know him!
01:30:59Did you just lie to me?
01:31:01No, I don't exactly know...
01:31:03Fuck you!
01:31:05How dare you fucking lie to me on my fucking wedding day before my fucking honeymoon!
01:31:12So a young Jewish couple gets successfully divorced.
01:31:17But the wife says to the judge, now I have to apply for a get.
01:31:22And the judge says, get what?
01:31:24She says, no, that's the name for a Jewish ceremony, which is for a divorce.
01:31:29And he says, oh, I understand. In other words, you mean like a bris.
01:31:33She says, yes, except that in a bris, it's one thing.
01:31:36In a get, you get to get rid of the entire schmuck.
01:31:42Hey, there. You and me, divorce ceremony. Thanks. Come, here.
01:31:48Look what he brings me. A divorce invitation.
01:31:55Hi. I would like to invite you to my divorce.
01:31:59Is it true you're actually seeking a divorce from Dylan Lipnick?
01:32:02No comment.
01:32:15You are coming to my divorce. Be there.
01:32:18Hey! Fallen Amber.
01:32:21Divorce invitation. I'll see you there, okay?
01:32:29Oh, my God, it's Mike! Oh, my God, Mike! I'm so happy you're here!
01:32:34I was hoping that you were going to come. I saw you on the phone with that woman.
01:32:37You're coming to my divorce. See you there.
01:32:40I'm actually going to bring a plus one because I didn't bring anyone the last time.
01:32:43Joseph, I'm stronger in the house!
01:32:46That's because I work in an open bar, but this time I think there's more to do.
01:32:49And I'm done! That's it!
01:33:20According to the prenuptial agreement,
01:33:23it is incumbent upon the person who initiated the divorce
01:33:27to invite all of those who attended the original wedding.
01:33:31Minus ten percent.
01:33:36Mr. Christian has done this successfully.
01:33:39I'm sorry.
01:33:41I'm sorry.
01:33:43Minus ten percent.
01:33:47Mr. Christian has done this successfully.
01:33:50As decreed in the prenuptial agreement,
01:33:53Mrs. Christian must sign the divorce petition.
01:33:58Oh.
01:34:11It feels weird to be offering congratulations to you, Mike.
01:34:15I didn't think you can pull it off.
01:34:18I have never had such a strong bond with anyone as I have with you.
01:34:27I have never been so in love.
01:34:33And I thought you felt the same way.
01:34:36I guess I was wrong.
01:34:40In the past few weeks, I've seen how much trouble Mike has gone through
01:34:44to get all of you here today.
01:34:47He has shown tremendous persistence to end this marriage and unite with Alex.
01:34:56Maybe that means she deserves him more than I do.
01:35:20And now, according to the prenuptial agreement,
01:35:24Mr. Christian will reveal his reasons for a divorce.
01:35:43Thank you, Dylan.
01:35:45And thank you all for coming today and sparing your valuable time for me.
01:35:51Getting all of you here was no easy task, I can assure you that.
01:35:55It was no fun having doors slammed in my face,
01:35:58getting the evil eye on the street,
01:36:01being spat upon, punched in the face,
01:36:03and told I am a horrible person for deserting my pregnant wife.
01:36:09This little event was not my idea.
01:36:14It all happened because Dylan slipped a little clause in our prenup.
01:36:19A clause I never bothered to read.
01:36:21Otherwise, I never would have had to face this shitstorm and see all of you, but I did.
01:36:26And today, I am a winner.
01:36:32A winner not just because I got in my way, but because I made the journey.
01:36:38I followed through on this.
01:36:41It was a journey of meeting people, talking with them,
01:36:45reasoning with some, arguing with others,
01:36:48listening to their pains, their turmoils, their successes, their failures,
01:36:53their mistakes, and their regrets.
01:36:59Their life lessons.
01:37:04I was mad at Dylan for making me come here today.
01:37:08I thought she was a selfish, stubborn woman.
01:37:12Until I ran into a single mom with five kids who asked me a question.
01:37:17She said, what if Dylan had instigated the divorce?
01:37:22Would she have to go through the same hell?
01:37:25So I read the prenup again, and sure as shit, she'd have to go through the same hell I did.
01:37:31That's when I realized that this clause wasn't evil after all.
01:37:38It was fair.
01:37:40To both of us.
01:37:42It was fair to our unborn child that the parents aren't going to just walk away from each other.
01:37:47I realized that this long journey that I had to take was the perfect counseling for a torn, confused man like me.
01:37:58When I put on this suit today, I was reminded how I felt on my wedding day.
01:38:05I've been thinking a lot about the word love lately.
01:38:09Love is a powerful emotion.
01:38:14Love is this indescribable feeling you get when you see someone who you know will do anything for you.
01:38:23You see someone with a life growing inside of them.
01:38:28A life you helped create.
01:38:32Love is sticking it out.
01:38:35Living with someone day after day.
01:38:38Waking up next to them every morning with their bad breath and their hair matted to one side of their head.
01:38:44And you just look at them and you think,
01:38:50God, she's beautiful.
01:38:54God, she's beautiful.
01:38:59That's love.
01:39:02Dylan, I've given you every reason not to love me.
01:39:06But only one reason to.
01:39:11I love you.
01:39:13I love you.
01:39:17Someone said to me, he said,
01:39:19if only your thesis could change one person.
01:39:26It did.
01:39:35Sorry, Alex.
01:39:44I have to do this.
01:39:52So in front of all of you,
01:39:58I am begging you, Dylan,
01:40:01to please forgive me for all the pain that I have caused you.
01:40:08Dylan,
01:40:10will you remarry me?
01:40:13Yes.
01:40:15Yes.
01:40:17Yes, but
01:40:20you're going to have to work for it.
01:40:23I promise.
01:40:40Thank you.