A millennial writer from San Francisco travels to the Philippines where she and her brother..HD ( Drama )

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00:00:00Will highly sensitive people be happier in a relationship with another highly sensitive person?

00:00:07That's an important question.

00:00:09The research shows that two highly sensitive people, HSPs as we call them,

00:00:15and a couple where only one is highly sensitive,

00:00:19are about equally satisfied in their relationship.

00:00:23There's advantages to both people in both combinations,

00:00:27although the benefits are a little different.

00:00:29Sorry. I'm Jessica.

00:00:32I know about your books.

00:00:35My question is, how can I make my partner understand my high sensitivity

00:00:43without thinking I'm strange or crazy?

00:00:47I just want to keep it under control.

00:00:50Well, many highly sensitive people have this issue of, quote, getting under control.

00:00:55It's an innate trait.

00:00:57I really think the main issue is appreciating the trait of sensitivity.

00:01:02Can I add something?

00:01:04Jessica, clearly your relationship is very important, and that's not trivial.

00:01:09In fact, I see a lot of you here in the audience are couples, so this applies to all of you.

00:01:14The research shows that the quality of your relationship strongly predicts how long you'll live,

00:01:22even more strongly than obesity or smoking.

00:01:26I'm a dead woman then.

00:01:28I beg your pardon?

00:01:30Sorry.

00:01:32Look, is there any sort of cure for high sensitivity?

00:01:39Because my boyfriend can't stand it, and to be honest, I can't stand it sometimes too.

00:01:45And we fight about it a lot.

00:01:47I mean a lot.

00:01:49High sensitivity is not a disorder.

00:01:52It's not something to be cured.

00:01:54Second, 69% of couples have serious conflicts they can't resolve,

00:02:00and your differences in temperament could be a source of conflict.

00:02:04But happy couples just manage those conflicts better.

00:02:08And since many highly sensitive people feel there might be something wrong with them

00:02:13because they're different, they tend to have low self-esteem.

00:02:16That means in a conflict they don't stand up for themselves, and that's not good in a conflict.

00:02:22About a third of all breakups appear to be due to certain innate traits,

00:02:27traits that can't be changed.

00:02:29But if the partners understand each other's traits, that seems to help a lot.

00:02:36Does that answer your question?

00:02:39Yes, yes. Thank you very much.

00:02:45What do you think the chances are that she's late?

00:02:51The sister or the baby?

00:02:54The elder.

00:02:56But at least when she's late, she apologizes, and she means it.

00:03:00Unlike Lyle, who never apologizes for anything.

00:03:05He just cares about himself.

00:03:09You know, I thought that being an expecting dad would make it go a little easier on yours.

00:03:14Okay, okay. I get it. I get enough from Jess.

00:03:19What, what? Cramps? Cramps?

00:03:21Yeah.

00:03:22You okay? You okay?

00:03:23Yeah, I'm okay.

00:03:24Just breathe, just breathe.

00:03:27It hurt?

00:03:28Yeah, it hurts.

00:03:30It's okay, it's okay.

00:03:32Hey, take it easy. Take it easy. Be nice.

00:03:37You're going to be nice to people.

00:03:41Okay, okay. Just breathe. Breathe.

00:03:50Jessica? You're one of the few people whose name I've learned today.

00:03:55You look a little upset.

00:03:58I'm fine. I'm sorry, I'm just in a bit of a weird place right now.

00:04:04I'm sorry I interrupted earlier.

00:04:07That's no problem.

00:04:09My brother and I were both in the hospital.

00:04:12I'm sorry.

00:04:14I'm sorry I interrupted earlier.

00:04:16That's no problem.

00:04:18My brother and I were both highly sensitive, but we're like night and day.

00:04:23My brother, he's fine. He's in a great marriage.

00:04:27I, on the other hand, I can't seem to get it right.

00:04:30That's actually why I'm here today.

00:04:32Well, this one's on the house.

00:04:34Really?

00:04:37Thank you so much.

00:04:44Go ahead.

00:04:49Jessica?

00:04:50Yes?

00:04:52You know, boundaries are really important for highly sensitive people.

00:04:56And because we have so much empathy, sometimes we don't have them,

00:05:00and we're afraid of hurting other people.

00:05:02But we shouldn't hurt ourselves in the process.

00:05:06Thank you.

00:05:15Their lecture.

00:05:17It spoke to me in so many ways I wasn't prepared for.

00:05:21Their cases sparked so many memories, I began to notice a pattern.

00:05:25I was constantly making choices that put somebody else's needs above my own.

00:05:30I knew that I had to set boundaries, that I should take control of my own life, but how?

00:05:35Hey!

00:05:36Why did you do that to me, Todd?

00:05:38You told me you don't like it when you do that.

00:05:40Hello? Hi, Monica.

00:05:42It's not your boss, it's me, Lizzy.

00:05:44Lizzy, sorry, can I call you right back?

00:05:48Hello?

00:05:50Okay, okay. Hello?

00:05:51One second, I'm sorry, this is an emergency, it's my boss.

00:05:53Hi, Monica. Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about, you know...

00:05:59No, I'm not getting writer's block.

00:06:01Actually, I can't do another post about fashion.

00:06:04Jacket?

00:06:05Jacket's stuck.

00:06:07Yeah, I just really want to write about things that will make a difference, you know?

00:06:11No, no, I don't want to do fashion.

00:06:14I mean, you know what?

00:06:19I didn't want to put it this way, but it's lifestyle or nothing.

00:06:24Great, I have my resignation email right here.

00:06:27I'll send it to you right away.

00:06:28Uh-huh, uh-huh, we're finished?

00:06:30Great, fine, bye.

00:06:33Hey, have you seen my plan?

00:06:35Hey, have you seen my plan?

00:06:36Nina, baby, come here!

00:06:40Right, we saved her! We saved her!

00:06:43So they wouldn't put her down!

00:06:46Shut up!

00:06:49Hi, Nina!

00:06:51Oh my gosh, Lizzy!

00:06:54Hey!

00:06:55Hey, love! I'm sorry!

00:06:57You know, I think I just quit my job.

00:06:59Oh, is that so?

00:07:01Yeah.

00:07:02Babe, can I call you back? One second.

00:07:04No, but I just wanted to...

00:07:07Hey, baby.

00:07:09What's up?

00:07:10It's very perceptive.

00:07:11What, is everything okay?

00:07:12It's almost like you're highly sensitive or something.

00:07:14Did you not hear the conversation I just had?

00:07:16I just quit my job.

00:07:18Really? Yeah, because it sounded like you were getting fired.

00:07:21No, they didn't even have time to say it. I beat them to the punch.

00:07:27It was dumb.

00:07:28And the dog?

00:07:30She's so sweet, babe.

00:07:33Come here, Nina!

00:07:35Come here, Nina!

00:07:36They were going to put her down! I saved her! Isn't she so cute?

00:07:40What's happening? Where are you going?

00:07:42Well, you and I finally have something in common.

00:07:46I quit my job, too.

00:07:49What? Why?

00:07:51I'm, uh...

00:07:53I'm leaving.

00:07:57Wait, wait. Can you just talk to me?

00:08:00What are you talking about? Where are you going?

00:08:02Can you just relax one second?

00:08:03I'm going to a law firm in Hollywood.

00:08:05You're going to Hollywood for a law job?

00:08:07Yes.

00:08:08Okay, is this another one of your...

00:08:10You're going to be partners in a big law firm and it doesn't happen?

00:08:13Hold on, they screwed me over!

00:08:15They screwed you over?

00:08:16Yeah.

00:08:17Is this about that legal secretary?

00:08:19You know what? Come on.

00:08:20Is she going to Hollywood, too?

00:08:23No.

00:08:24Then what?

00:08:25You know what?

00:08:28What's the matter?

00:08:29What's the matter?

00:08:30It's you I'm done with, Miss Sensitive.

00:08:32Okay?

00:08:33I've always got to pick you up.

00:08:35Like, you just get nervous all of a sudden.

00:08:37Or, God forbid, you read an article on the Chronicle and you just start crying.

00:08:42This highly sensitive thing?

00:08:46It's what makes you a loser.

00:08:49This feeling, what other people feel, is just...

00:08:53It's just loser noise.

00:08:55I'm done with you.

00:08:56Okay?

00:08:57I've got to tidy you up out of my life.

00:08:59I've got to declutter you so I can focus on my own things.

00:09:05I, I, I, I, I, I...

00:09:07No, screw you!

00:09:08You, you!

00:09:09My God, you are a curse.

00:09:11You're bad juju.

00:09:12You're bad energy.

00:09:13I'm so, I'm so tired of you being such a loser and dragging me down with you.

00:09:20I'm so tired of you being such a loser and dragging me down with you.

00:09:25Get over yourself, Todd!

00:09:27Keep your dog.

00:09:40In an instant, I no longer had a job or a boyfriend.

00:09:45There was part of me deep down in my gut that always knew it would come to this.

00:09:50That it was only a matter of time before my sensitivity brought everything in my life crashing down around me,

00:09:56the part of me that felt like nobody would ever love me.

00:10:00That I didn't belong anywhere.

00:10:04There was only one person who could make me feel otherwise.

00:10:08Who would make me feel less...

00:10:11broken.

00:10:16Hey, Jess.

00:10:17I've been texting you.

00:10:18How'd it go?

00:10:19Sorry.

00:10:20I, I had to turn off my phone.

00:10:22Oh.

00:10:23I thought maybe just the lectures were that bad.

00:10:27Actually,

00:10:29that was the only good thing that happened to me today.

00:10:31Oh boy.

00:10:33I know that sound.

00:10:35Let me guess,

00:10:36because I'm not a psychic or anything, but

00:10:39this boyfriend of yours,

00:10:41Todd,

00:10:42he's floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee.

00:10:46Am I right?

00:10:50Can I make a suggestion?

00:10:52I think you need to get away.

00:10:54Why don't you

00:10:55come out here to the Philippines and visit me,

00:10:58and just get away from all of that.

00:11:00You can clear your head, and

00:11:02I think it'll be really good for you.

00:11:04I need to stay close to Dad.

00:11:06Oh.

00:11:07Dad will be fine.

00:11:08He's a big boy.

00:11:09He can take care of himself.

00:11:11Everything you do for that guy anyway, he doesn't even appreciate.

00:11:16If you want to pick up and go, you can.

00:11:18I don't have a problem doing it.

00:11:20Robbie, we all make mistakes.

00:11:23Jess,

00:11:24I know you want some

00:11:26connection with him, but

00:11:28you gotta stop living in the past.

00:11:31If you keep this up, you're just gonna fade away.

00:11:33And I don't want to see that happen.

00:11:35I want to be here for you.

00:11:36But in order for me to do that,

00:11:37I need you to be here.

00:11:39So get your butt on a plane,

00:11:41and come visit your brother.

00:11:42We'll have some fun.

00:11:44Just get away from all of that.

00:11:45Maria would love to see you.

00:11:48Just...

00:11:49trust me.

00:11:50Okay, brother.

00:11:51Okay.

00:11:52I love you.

00:11:53I love you too.

00:11:54Alright.

00:11:56Maria!

00:11:57Jessica's coming to visit!

00:12:00We're gonna have to fix her the back room, okay?

00:12:03And she eats a lot, so...

00:12:06Alright.

00:12:07Before I could make my way to the other side of the world,

00:12:10there was something I needed to handle.

00:12:12Or someone, I should say.

00:12:14He had been a constant source of pain in my life,

00:12:17but I could never stop trying to build a relationship.

00:12:21My brother had warned me that it was pointless,

00:12:23and yet I kept hoping that each encounter...

00:12:26Yeah, who is it?

00:12:27...would be a breakthrough.

00:12:28It's me, Dad.

00:12:29Jessica?

00:12:30Come in.

00:12:31Door's open.

00:12:36Cup of tea?

00:12:38Yes, please.

00:12:40Why are these photos out?

00:12:43I was just tidying up.

00:12:45Came across them, you know.

00:12:46Had a good look.

00:12:50This is my favourite photo of Mom.

00:12:52Yeah, me too.

00:12:53It's lovely, huh?

00:12:54Reminds me of Robbie.

00:12:58Yeah.

00:13:00You've never really been the family type, huh?

00:13:03No.

00:13:04I've never been the family type.

00:13:06You've never really been the family type, huh?

00:13:10Yeah, well, you know, not everybody is.

00:13:15Or maybe I'm just unlovable.

00:13:18Unlovable.

00:13:19So...

00:13:22You've split up with your boyfriend,

00:13:24you've lost your job,

00:13:26you need a place to crash,

00:13:28or is it money?

00:13:30Actually, I'm here to tell you that...

00:13:34I'm leaving for a bit.

00:13:36Maybe a couple of months or so.

00:13:40Why?

00:13:41Do you think you can watch over Milo while I'm gone?

00:13:44Yeah, I guess.

00:13:46I like the dog, but why the trip?

00:13:48I was thinking of visiting Robbie in Manila.

00:13:52You're running away to brother.

00:13:54Why can't you call him by his name?

00:13:56Because he's stubborn.

00:13:58And he's got no respect for anyone,

00:14:00let alone his old man.

00:14:01Does he remind you of anyone?

00:14:03Your brother's always been a runaway.

00:14:05First New York, then Hollywood, then Manila.

00:14:09You know, I think he only married a Filipina

00:14:11because your mum was a Filipina.

00:14:13He just can't face things.

00:14:16I know, I know, you're gonna say it.

00:14:19He's just like me.

00:14:22At least you know that much.

00:14:24He's just like you.

00:14:25Can't face things, runs away,

00:14:27buries himself in work.

00:14:29There's just another one of us

00:14:30that's not the family type, right dad?

00:14:32Yeah, Jess, and he knows that.

00:14:36So, tell me,

00:14:38which one of us can't you forgive?

00:14:41I guess it's me.

00:14:45I suppose it was time to set a boundary,

00:14:48and that boundary was 7,000 miles wide.

00:14:59You don't know how beautiful

00:15:08You don't know how beautiful, no

00:15:17You don't know how beautiful

00:15:26And lost, and frightened

00:15:31And angry, and broken

00:15:38And so I have to go

00:15:45Cause you don't know

00:15:50How beautiful you are

00:16:06Excuse me, young lady, you need some help?

00:16:14From the moment I landed,

00:16:15I already feel this sense of a fresh start.

00:16:18My brother is one of the only people

00:16:20who understands me,

00:16:22and I understand him.

00:16:43Maria, look who's here!

00:16:46It's so beautiful!

00:16:48Oh, you look beautiful!

00:16:50Look, look, look!

00:16:51Oh my gosh, hello!

00:16:53Hi, I'm your ex-wife!

00:16:55Yes, you can say it to me.

00:16:57These are for you.

00:16:58Wow, this is beautiful.

00:16:59Let me help you with this.

00:17:00Thank you so much.

00:17:01Take a look, take a look.

00:17:02Please come.

00:17:03Look what we got here!

00:17:04Is this the hotel?

00:17:05Uh, no, this is my home,

00:17:07and your home for the next few days.

00:17:09Are you kidding me?

00:17:10This is your house?

00:17:12Yeah.

00:17:13I love, love, love Robby's wife, Maria.

00:17:18She was born here to a Filipina mom

00:17:21and a Jewish dad.

00:17:23Then she went to the U.S.

00:17:25and struggled at elementary school

00:17:27but thrived at a big city university.

00:17:30So naturally, her and I can relate.

00:17:33But now she's back home with her people.

00:17:36And because of it,

00:17:38Robby got lucky and found a great wife.

00:17:42They both existed in two different worlds

00:17:45and were seeking an emotional home.

00:17:47They found it in each other.

00:17:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:17:50Where's the sign I told you to put up

00:17:52that says no boys allowed?

00:17:53Oh, come on.

00:17:54No boys allowed?

00:17:55It's so beautiful.

00:17:57We're going to keep it clean.

00:18:00I couldn't live here forever.

00:18:01Hey, Jess?

00:18:03You recognize any of this?

00:18:13You kept all these?

00:18:15At the end of the day,

00:18:18all we're left with are our memories.

00:18:22It's up to us to make sure they're good ones.

00:18:26I'm so happy you're here.

00:18:30I'm so happy to be here too.

00:18:35Todd and I never really connected.

00:18:38I don't even think he really loved me.

00:18:41I mean, the real me, the sensitive me.

00:18:45I was just a narcissistic jerk and a liar.

00:18:48Where'd you meet this guy again?

00:18:51The Internet.

00:18:52The Internet, that's right.

00:18:54You met him on the Internet.

00:18:57Grow up.

00:18:58Hey, I'm not knocking it.

00:19:00I'm just saying,

00:19:01How do you really get to know someone on the Internet?

00:19:04Now, Maria and I, we met in person

00:19:08through mutual friends, with real people.

00:19:12That's just something you get with that

00:19:15that you're not going to get with some online dating site.

00:19:18You know what my biggest mistake was?

00:19:20That I got carried away with his looks.

00:19:23He looks so good in his photos,

00:19:26but in person,

00:19:28He was even hotter.

00:19:30How does that even happen?

00:19:33So what you're trying to say is,

00:19:36he is now another ex.

00:19:41Game.

00:19:44Ugh!

00:19:46Sometimes I want to call him, just ask for him back.

00:19:50Other times, I just want to fly across the world.

00:19:54Literally.

00:19:55I really wish Mom was here.

00:19:58Talk to you about all this stuff.

00:20:01I don't mind listening, but

00:20:04I know if she was here,

00:20:07she'd be there for you.

00:20:09Something went wrong, huh?

00:20:12For the both of us?

00:20:14I just never thought there was anything to talk about.

00:20:18You were two years old.

00:20:21You seemed pretty happy with Dad's new wife

00:20:24he got for Christmas.

00:20:27I already had a mom.

00:20:30I didn't need another one.

00:20:33And I didn't want to disillusion my little sister.

00:20:37Well, I'm a grown-up now,

00:20:40so disillusion me.

00:20:46The story I've never told

00:20:49The story I've never been told

00:20:52The real reason why Robbie and I

00:20:55could be the way we are

00:20:57The truth about our mother

00:21:03I hear you've not been doing what Sarah asks of you.

00:21:06You are going to start treating her

00:21:09like a son should treat a mother

00:21:11with respect, you hear me?

00:21:13And another thing,

00:21:15stop talking about your mother.

00:21:18She has gone.

00:21:20Get that through your head.

00:21:22It'll be better for Sarah,

00:21:24better for Jessica and better for you.

00:21:26Do you get me?

00:21:28Look at me, Rob.

00:21:30This is serious.

00:21:32I'm going to be going away for a few days, alright?

00:21:34And I need you to be strong.

00:21:36That's something new for you, isn't it?

00:21:38Strong.

00:21:40You are going to be the man here

00:21:42and I need you to be the man.

00:21:44I need you to be strong so that Sarah has someone to trust.

00:21:47So do not rock the boat.

00:21:50And for goodness sake,

00:21:52stop crying.

00:21:58I'm sorry, right?

00:22:00This is hard for me too.

00:22:02Rob,

00:22:06when I see your face,

00:22:08either you or your sister,

00:22:10I see your mother, I see her face.

00:22:13Sarah is the best I can do,

00:22:16okay?

00:22:19Okay?

00:22:25Well, how did you deal with all the grief throughout the years?

00:22:31I guess I had it stored away in the old hard drive.

00:22:36I didn't want to bum you out.

00:22:38You seemed to like Sarah.

00:22:42Well, now can I disillusion you?

00:22:45Do it.

00:22:47I tried so hard to please Dad.

00:22:51And to please Dad,

00:22:53I had to please Sarah.

00:22:58Imagine I had to do all that

00:23:00just to get them to love me.

00:23:04And if I was good at one thing,

00:23:06I was good at people pleasing.

00:23:09The whole time,

00:23:11I thought we were getting close, Sarah and I.

00:23:15And one day,

00:23:17Dad and her were fighting about something and...

00:23:21Did you ever really like me, Ma?

00:23:23Sarah?

00:23:26She outright said

00:23:28she did not like me.

00:23:32She thought I was

00:23:34stuck up and

00:23:36high-maintenance.

00:23:37She's one to talk.

00:23:42She thought you and I had some sort of disease

00:23:47that was passed down from Mom.

00:23:51She said bad genetics.

00:24:02I'm sorry.

00:24:04You must have felt...

00:24:06backstabbed.

00:24:07More like worthless.

00:24:34Jeez Louise, guy.

00:25:04I love you.

00:25:35Okay.

00:25:38I want this to be a recording

00:25:40of where I am presently.

00:25:43June 25th.

00:25:46Physically, I'm here in Manila with my brother.

00:25:50But mentally...

00:25:53I guess...

00:25:57I've known for most of my life

00:25:59that I was different.

00:26:01I thought that there was something wrong with me.

00:26:04It all started

00:26:06when Mom was gone.

00:26:08Without her, Dad grew more distant than ever before.

00:26:12All too soon, he moved on with a new wife.

00:26:15And I suspected he wished he could move on with new children as well.

00:26:19I never knew how much my father had hurt my brother.

00:26:23But Robbie threw himself into his music

00:26:26and found a wife that understood him.

00:26:28But I found Todd.

00:26:31At first, I thought we were a great match.

00:26:34It wasn't until later that I realized he was a narcissist.

00:26:38I was so willing to open my heart and my mind to another,

00:26:41but it was all about him.

00:26:44When I would get upset or overwhelmed,

00:26:46he would get so angry.

00:26:49He could not deal with my sensitivity.

00:26:53You see,

00:26:55I am an HSP.

00:26:57A highly sensitive person.

00:27:02Oh, but for now,

00:27:04more sibling bonding time.

00:27:07There she is.

00:27:09Oh, sorry.

00:27:11Hi, good morning.

00:27:12You're up.

00:27:14Guess that jet lag's no joke, huh?

00:27:16Well, I've been feeling a little queasy,

00:27:18but I think I'll be fine.

00:27:20I think you'll be fine.

00:27:21What are you up to?

00:27:23I was looking at this map earlier,

00:27:25and I was thinking maybe I should go explore Motherland.

00:27:28Really?

00:27:29Well, I can take you, or I can get you a driver.

00:27:31No, no, no.

00:27:32I want to go like full explore mode.

00:27:34I want to do it the way the locals do it.

00:27:36But maybe you can drop me off at the Guadalupe Ferry?

00:27:39Nice.

00:27:40Done.

00:27:41You're really going to enjoy this.

00:27:43It's an amazing experience there.

00:27:44I can tell.

00:27:45Well, you know me.

00:27:46I am the sensitive type that gets bored easily.

00:27:48Yeah, I do know you.

00:27:49One foot on the gas, one foot on the brake,

00:27:52at the exact same time.

00:27:53Well, this time it's on the gas.

00:27:57Get your stuff and I'll meet you outside.

00:27:59Okay, okay.

00:28:00Wait, one second, okay?

00:28:27Hello, my love.

00:28:36I'm so happy to see your face.

00:28:38I'm so glad you called.

00:28:39I missed you, too.

00:28:43Can you see where I am?

00:28:44Isn't this beautiful?

00:28:46It's beautiful.

00:28:47So, how's Rob and Maria?

00:28:50They're great.

00:28:51Oh, my gosh.

00:28:52You should hear Rob's music.

00:28:54He's producing crazy stuff.

00:28:56And guess what?

00:28:57They have a kid on the way.

00:29:00What?

00:29:01A kid?

00:29:03I can't imagine Rob with a kid.

00:29:06Anyway, I saw your video.

00:29:10What are you talking about?

00:29:11I didn't post any video.

00:29:13The video that you posted?

00:29:17No.

00:29:21Can you remind me of what it was like?

00:29:24You were talking about Rob and Lyle?

00:29:27About your parents?

00:29:29Girl, I never knew that.

00:29:31You went really deep.

00:29:36You saw that?

00:29:37Mm-hmm.

00:29:39Oh, my gosh, Elizabeth.

00:29:40I'm so scattered.

00:29:42That wasn't for the public.

00:29:43That was a personal video.

00:29:46Um, what am I gonna tell Rob?

00:29:49You've got really good feedback.

00:29:51You know what?

00:29:52Can you hold one second?

00:29:53I'll just check.

00:29:55So many comments.

00:29:57Oh, my God.

00:29:59One person said,

00:30:00I went through the same thing

00:30:02and I went through therapy for years.

00:30:05Another said,

00:30:07sensitive people are magnets for narcissists.

00:30:11Tell me about it.

00:30:13Aw, this is nice.

00:30:15You're so brave.

00:30:16I want to hug you.

00:30:18I mean, this is crazy, but...

00:30:21Um, you know what?

00:30:22Elizabeth, I'll call you back

00:30:24because we're gonna get off the boat

00:30:26and I'll just talk to you later, okay?

00:30:28Thanks for telling me.

00:30:30Love you.

00:30:31Love you.

00:30:33Hi, darling.

00:30:51Hey, how are you?

00:30:53Oh, you look nice.

00:30:54It's nice to see you again.

00:30:56Good to see you.

00:30:57Have a seat.

00:30:58You seem to put on a little weight.

00:31:00Oh, okay.

00:31:02I guess I'm getting a little too comfortable

00:31:04in my new home recording studio.

00:31:06I hardly leave the house anymore

00:31:08and I just sit around eating all I want.

00:31:10Atta boy.

00:31:12So, what's up?

00:31:15You seem to look a little anxious

00:31:18with someone who's so comfy.

00:31:23I'm just gonna come outside.

00:31:26My sister, she's in town visiting

00:31:29and I think she needs help.

00:31:31I think she could use your help.

00:31:33She's going through this really bad breakup

00:31:35with her boyfriend and she's miserable.

00:31:40Was she miserable in the relationship?

00:31:42Do you see this as a pattern?

00:31:45I mean, she's always gone from guy to guy.

00:31:49She's real clingy, but she's the kind of person

00:31:52all she's ever wanted was to find that one person

00:31:54to give her heart to.

00:31:56And she's beautiful.

00:31:57She's so smart.

00:31:58She's a brilliant writer,

00:32:00but when it comes to men,

00:32:01she's just really, really bad.

00:32:04I'm afraid to answer the phone.

00:32:06Hey Rob, I met this new guy and I'm in love.

00:32:08And... crash and burn every time.

00:32:13But I'm coming to you because

00:32:15what makes things worse,

00:32:17she's an HSP.

00:32:20Worse or better?

00:32:25Robbie, highly sensitive people

00:32:28learn faster from their mistakes,

00:32:30at least from my experience.

00:32:32Yeah, but first they have to accept the fact

00:32:34that they've made a mistake.

00:32:38Just between us,

00:32:40I think highly sensitive people

00:32:43can change the world.

00:32:45So, all right, send it to me.

00:32:48Really?

00:32:49Yes.

00:32:52Salamat.

00:32:53Walang anuma.

00:32:57So tell me, how's it going with Lyle?

00:33:01Good old Lyle.

00:33:04Well, my sister, the mother hen that she is,

00:33:08she keeps trying to get me to break the ice with him.

00:33:12She even wants me to call him dad every once in a while.

00:33:16But why not? He is your father.

00:33:20Listen, Rob,

00:33:22I'm going to tell you this as a friend,

00:33:25not as a therapist.

00:33:29You need to deal with this.

00:33:32You need to heal yourself.

00:33:35What do you really want?

00:33:37You don't want to be stuck in the past, all right,

00:33:39then let's look at your future then.

00:33:42You have to choose to try to either forgive

00:33:46and embrace the man who is your father

00:33:49and accept all his flaws.

00:33:53Or what?

00:33:56Ask yourself what is it exactly you want to see happen.

00:34:03And I'm telling you that for free.

00:34:23Wait, wait!

00:34:47I had already been overwhelmed by the city when I saw it.

00:34:51Children.

00:34:54The poor children laughing and playing while behind them

00:34:57the innocent backdrop of the sea of garbage.

00:35:00Endless litter giving tragedy to their surroundings.

00:35:07I felt the pain behind their eyes.

00:35:11The suffering of the life they've been born into.

00:35:16Their stares ripped through me,

00:35:19destroying the last safe thread I was gripping onto.

00:35:45Hi, ma'am. Are you all right?

00:35:48Are you okay?

00:35:50Yeah, I'm sorry.

00:35:53Do you need anything?

00:35:57Why are you crying?

00:36:00I think I just, I've never seen anything like this.

00:36:05Don't worry.

00:36:07We're doing something about it.

00:36:11Our river warriors are doing everything we can

00:36:14to clean the rivers, the waterways.

00:36:17It was neglected by the people before us.

00:36:21We need people like you to educate them

00:36:24and to teach them that what they're doing is wrong.

00:36:27Take pictures and show everybody around the world.

00:36:31You're doing a wonderful thing.

00:36:34Thank you.

00:36:37I was gutted by what I had seen.

00:36:40Something about those children stuck with me.

00:36:43They were living in such horrible conditions,

00:36:46completely impoverished, and yet they fought on.

00:36:50Their faces lit up with bright smiles

00:36:53and their eyes were full of hope.

00:36:56I knew that if they could show so much strength

00:36:59in their daily life,

00:37:01then I should too.

00:37:04If they could show so much strength in their daily life,

00:37:07then I should try to show more in mine.

00:37:10Our obstacles were not the same,

00:37:13but those children were an amazing source of inspiration.

00:37:18It was a new day in Manila and a new chapter in my life.

00:37:23phone rings

00:37:26It's Rob.

00:37:28Robby?

00:37:30I actually called because I need to tell you something.

00:37:35Um...

00:37:37I'm really sorry, but I may have posted

00:37:40some very private and personal matters of the family online,

00:37:44and I didn't do it intentionally, but now it's...

00:37:47I saw it for something that happened 25 years ago.

00:37:50It's kind of weird.

00:37:52I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean it.

00:37:54I forgive you.

00:37:56It's okay. It's not a big deal.

00:37:58I doubt anyone important's going to see it,

00:38:00and if they do, then all the better.

00:38:02I'm so sorry, Robby.

00:38:04I know how private you are,

00:38:06and the last thing I'd want to do is hurt you.

00:38:10Hey, I love you, okay?

00:38:13I'm proud of who we are.

00:38:15You came here to relax and have a good time,

00:38:17so I don't want you stressing over anything, okay?

00:38:21Thank you for understanding.

00:38:24I love you.

00:38:26All right. I love you.

00:38:28I'll see you soon.

00:38:30Bye.

00:38:39Okay, guys, I'm ready.

00:38:41Baby, we're going to count you in, okay?

00:38:43I'm feeling really good about this one.

00:38:45Let's do it, bud.

00:38:47Okay, here we go.

00:38:493, 2, 1.

00:38:51♪♪♪

00:39:01♪♪♪

00:39:06What I tell you, bud,

00:39:08that voice, it's called husband.

00:39:11♪♪♪

00:39:16We have left off, okay?

00:39:18♪♪♪

00:39:24♪♪♪

00:39:30I tell you, man.

00:39:33I tell you, man.

00:39:35Wow, what can I say?

00:39:37You nailed it. That's our winner.

00:39:38Come on in here.

00:39:39I got somebody I want you to meet.

00:39:41What's so amazing?

00:39:43What are you doing here?

00:39:44I didn't even know you were gonna come.

00:39:47That sounded great.

00:39:48This is my sister from San Francisco,

00:39:50finally here to visit her brother.

00:39:52This is my music agent and good buddy, Mark.

00:39:54Hi, very nice to meet you.

00:39:56Nice to meet you.

00:39:57Your sister, huh?

00:39:58So what's her deal, man?

00:39:59Her deal?

00:40:00Sure you want to know?

00:40:02Well, give me the scoop.

00:40:04The scoop?

00:40:05I want the whole scoop.

00:40:06Okay, here's the scoop.

00:40:07She just went through a really bad breakup

00:40:09with some asshole.

00:40:11She lost her job.

00:40:12She's going through a real rough patch,

00:40:14so I brought her down here to hang out with me

00:40:16and clear her head,

00:40:17and maybe she can figure some stuff out.

00:40:19But she's not here long enough to meet anybody new.

00:40:22What are you trying to say?

00:40:23I know what you're thinking.

00:40:26Okay.

00:40:28She got a number?

00:40:31Hey, you want her number, you ask her.

00:40:33Be nice.

00:40:34I am nice.

00:40:35Yeah.

00:40:36Maybe I will ask her.

00:40:38Hey, man, good children, right?

00:40:40Hey, put in a good word for me.

00:40:43Come on.

00:40:44Go home, man, go home.

00:40:46See you soon.

00:40:53Today, I went to Estera de Magdalena.

00:41:04It triggered these anxious feelings of

00:41:08maybe there isn't saving the world anymore.

00:41:13And it broke my heart a million times over.

00:41:18And I thought to myself,

00:41:23have mercy.

00:41:27And out of nowhere,

00:41:31a gentle giant appeared

00:41:34and with three little words,

00:41:37are you okay?

00:41:43That act of compassion met the world to me

00:41:47and it gave me hope.

00:41:52I am so overwhelmed

00:41:55with how many of you have connected with this feeling of

00:41:58being adrift and lonely.

00:42:01And I want you to know

00:42:03that you are not alone.

00:42:07We are all here for each other.

00:42:21That was the best, Robbie.

00:42:24You have to invite me to the next one.

00:42:26You're going to be here.

00:42:27We do those once or twice a week

00:42:29when we're not doing bigger sessions downtown.

00:42:31Well, I am so proud of you.

00:42:33You know what?

00:42:34I think Dad would be pleasantly surprised.

00:42:37Pleasantly surprised?

00:42:38Is that what he would say?

00:42:39Pleasantly surprised.

00:42:40The story of my life.

00:42:42Like that.

00:42:45So, about your friend Mark.

00:42:50What about my friend Mark?

00:42:53The guy you started flirting with?

00:42:55I was not flirting.

00:42:57Was I flirting?

00:42:58Pretty sure.

00:42:59Did it look like I was flirting?

00:43:00Pretty sure, yeah.

00:43:01I told him the truth.

00:43:03That you were going through some stuff

00:43:04and you came here to visit me

00:43:06and you're not going to be here that long.

00:43:08So I didn't give him your number or anything.

00:43:11What?

00:43:12Wait.

00:43:13Did he even ask for my number?

00:43:15Of course he asked for your number.

00:43:18He even wants me to put in the good word.

00:43:22Well, yes.

00:43:23Boys should not be on my mind.

00:43:26Exactly.

00:43:27But...

00:43:29I'll think about it.

00:43:30I knew you were going to say that.

00:43:33Alright.

00:43:34Cheers.

00:43:35Come on.

00:43:36Cheers.

00:43:37Here's to you in the Philippines

00:43:39visiting your big brother

00:43:41for a new start.

00:43:43Cheers.

00:43:44Cheers.

00:43:53Yesterday was an emotional day.

00:43:57The lows hit low and the highs hit high.

00:44:00But when you're sensitive

00:44:02and potentially in love

00:44:04it starts to feel like the sky's the limit.

00:44:12Are you still jet lagging?

00:44:13No, I actually overslept the other night.

00:44:14Good morning.

00:44:15Hi.

00:44:16That looks good.

00:44:17You want some?

00:44:18Are you hungry?

00:44:19I ate all your food.

00:44:20Yeah, I can see that.

00:44:21I'm just sitting there eating.

00:44:22I have a meeting.

00:44:23I don't want to be late.

00:44:24Okay.

00:44:25Bye.

00:44:26See you.

00:44:27Good day.

00:44:28Are you serious?

00:44:29Is he really out and about before 9 a.m.?

00:44:33So weird.

00:44:34I know.

00:44:35He's really on it.

00:44:36The baby's keeping him on track.

00:44:40Are you excited?

00:44:44About the baby.

00:44:45Are you excited?

00:44:46Yeah, of course.

00:44:49Is everything okay, Maria?

00:44:52Yeah.

00:44:54Yeah, I'm fine.

00:44:57Hey.

00:44:59You know you can talk to me, right?

00:45:04You know, honestly, Jess,

00:45:08I think Robbie's really nervous to have a kid.

00:45:12Before we got married, he agreed.

00:45:15He agreed that we were going to have children.

00:45:17That was my bottom line.

00:45:20I mean, he acts cool about it, but he's not excited.

00:45:27I mean, the whole concept, the whole idea of birth

00:45:29is completely freaking him out.

00:45:32He won't even come to Lamaze classes with me.

00:45:35Honestly, I think that he's just scared.

00:45:39I think that he's scared that it's going to end up like with your mom.

00:45:48I mean, ever since that we found out,

00:45:51I mean, it's like he's haunted about it,

00:45:54and I just don't think that he can handle

00:45:56being completely, like, triggered all the time.

00:46:01Can I ask, do you remember what happened?

00:46:06I was 2.

00:46:09Nobody really explained to us what happened medically.

00:46:15Dad never talks about it.

00:46:20When I got a little older, Robbie explained to me what had happened.

00:46:24He told me that there was a fight.

00:46:28Get out! You can't be in here!

00:46:31Then he heard Dad crying in the other room.

00:46:42And he just knew what it meant.

00:47:00He told me once that he was never going to be ready for a family.

00:47:07So, I don't know. That's it.

00:47:13Ready or not, we are already a family.

00:47:19And a quickly growing one at that.

00:47:25You know, Jess, at least it's reassuring and somewhat comforting

00:47:29to know why he's like this.

00:47:34I love you.

00:47:36I'm so glad you're here.

00:47:38I'm happy to be here too.

00:47:40And I can't wait to meet this one.

00:47:43Me neither. Trust me.

00:47:45I'm sure he's excited to meet you too.

00:47:47Hopefully he looks more like you than Robbie.

00:47:50I won't tell him he said that.

00:47:52It's been great to get away and catch my breath.

00:47:55So much beauty here, but also so much pain.

00:48:01But it's been the people that make it all worthwhile.

00:48:07Jess!

00:48:08Joel finally said yes to my leave.

00:48:10And I think it has to do with my awesome flirting skills.

00:48:16So speaking of, how's the boy situation out there?

00:48:20Have you met any hot, spicy islanders lately?

00:48:24Poi toys are the last thing on my mind.

00:48:27So?

00:48:28Okay, I may have met someone through my brother.

00:48:31Do tell, do tell.

00:48:34We haven't gone out on a date or anything,

00:48:36but we kind of hung out while Robbie and his friends were jamming.

00:48:40And then?

00:48:42And he's nice.

00:48:44But I feel like I may have scared him off

00:48:46with my whole Estero de Magdalena story.

00:48:48Girl, if he can't deal with you at your saddest,

00:48:52then he doesn't deserve you at your best.

00:48:55Well, don't get me wrong.

00:48:56He is pretty sweet.

00:48:58And at least I met him through family.

00:49:00I am staying away from dating apps like Dengue.

00:49:03Well, you always make a better second impression anyway.

00:49:07I don't know. I guess I'm just anxious.

00:49:09I don't even know if he likes me or anything.

00:49:12Jess, you just have to accept the fact that

00:49:15some people will like you and some people won't.

00:49:18Like pizza.

00:49:19Everyone loves pizza.

00:49:21But some people like pepperoni toppings.

00:49:24Other people like anchovies.

00:49:26Weird people like Hawaiian.

00:49:28Highly sensitive people would go for something like

00:49:31goat's cheese and pesto.

00:49:33Very out there.

00:49:35But for my taste, very special.

00:49:38You know, at the same time,

00:49:40I shouldn't even be focusing on if boys like me or not.

00:49:44Unless it's the right guy.

00:49:50I love you.

00:49:51Bye-bye!

00:49:55You remember when I talked about

00:49:59going to Estero de Magdalena yesterday?

00:50:03I wish I wasn't so emotional.

00:50:06But at the same time, I guess,

00:50:10no emotions are wrong.

00:50:13They help us learn and help you remember

00:50:17moments even more.

00:50:25Bye-bye.

00:50:37Oh.

00:50:39Oops.

00:50:40Hello?

00:50:41Hi, sorry, did I just drop your call?

00:50:46Uh-huh.

00:50:48Um, okay, can you wait one second?

00:50:51I'll just check my schedule.

00:50:59Yeah, I think I'm free.

00:51:02Okay.

00:51:04See you then.

00:51:07Eat that, you're going to forget the name of your girlfriend.

00:51:11Oh dear.

00:51:15Welcome to my palace.

00:51:17Oh my goodness, it's Venus rising from the sea.

00:51:21Welcome, my name is Jethro.

00:51:23Hi, my name is Jessica.

00:51:25Hi, my name is Jethro.

00:51:27Hi, my name is Jessica.

00:51:29Hi, my name is Jethro.

00:51:31Hi, my name is Jethro.

00:51:33Hi, my name is Jessica.

00:51:35Jessica.

00:51:36Hello, hello, Jessica.

00:51:37Oh my goodness, are you looking for someone?

00:51:39Um, actually, I have a friend that invited me.

00:51:41His name is Mark.

00:51:42Mark?

00:51:43What are you doing with Mark, that ruffian?

00:51:45Mark, you have a friend here.

00:51:46Come on in, come on in.

00:51:47Oh, Jessica.

00:51:48Make yourself comfortable.

00:51:49Hi.

00:51:50How are you?

00:51:52Obviously, you've met Jethro.

00:51:54Oh yes, obviously.

00:51:58Believe it or not, I used to work here.

00:51:59Really?

00:52:00Yeah.

00:52:01That's right.

00:52:02He was my worst employee, but all the patrons loved him.

00:52:04It must have been, you know, his dark sex appeal or something.

00:52:07Anyway, now he comes running back here looking for a nice table

00:52:11and to impress a pretty girl.

00:52:13What he didn't tell me was how gorgeous she was.

00:52:16Come on, sit down, sit down, come on.

00:52:18Make yourselves comfortable.

00:52:19Thank you so much.

00:52:20Over here, my dear.

00:52:21Thank you.

00:52:22All right, can I get you guys anything?

00:52:24Or anything else?

00:52:25I'll tell you something about Jessica.

00:52:27She's a writer from San Francisco.

00:52:29Write her.

00:52:30R and R.

00:52:32And what better place than your place, Jethro, right?

00:52:36I'll be right back.

00:52:37I'm going to get you some really hot drinks.

00:52:39Hey, go easy on the drinks.

00:52:41I'm just having coffee.

00:52:42You?

00:52:43Yeah, coffee.

00:52:44Sure you are, sure you are.

00:52:46I'll be right back.

00:52:47Come on.

00:52:48Just wait, okay?

00:52:49Thank you.

00:52:50I love your place, by the way.

00:52:51Thank you, thank you very much.

00:52:52So, how's Manila?

00:52:54How's it treating you so far?

00:52:56Well, actually, I did something weird the other day.

00:53:00I accidentally posted something really personal.

00:53:04I spilled my guts online and it went viral.

00:53:07You spilled your guts online?

00:53:08Yeah, I know, right?

00:53:09What was in the video?

00:53:11It was family stuff, personal stuff.

00:53:13A lot of family issues.

00:53:14Oh shit, no.

00:53:15How did that happen?

00:53:17I don't know.

00:53:18Maybe I was half asleep, half awake.

00:53:21If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel, like, you know,

00:53:25strangers gawking at your dirty laundry online?

00:53:29Honestly, I'm loving the support.

00:53:35It's overwhelming and that outweighs all the dumb stuff

00:53:39because there were a lot of comments and all that.

00:53:42It feels good to know that you can have that feeling of being able to help someone.

00:53:47It's like indirectly you're helping people.

00:53:49That's cool.

00:53:50Yeah, I think some people connected with it and it's nice.

00:53:54That's supposed to happen?

00:53:55Something like that?

00:53:56I guess it's all out there now.

00:53:59There's nothing I can do.

00:54:01Oh, I'm sorry.

00:54:23Everything okay?

00:54:26Sorry.

00:54:28It's just my ex keeps messaging me these nasty messages day and night.

00:54:35Ooh.

00:54:37Good start.

00:54:39I'm sorry.

00:54:40I know you're not supposed to be talking about exes, but you wanted to know so I wanted to be honest.

00:54:45I'm just kidding.

00:54:46I'm not being sarcastic.

00:54:47It's actually okay, you know.

00:54:49I like it straightforward.

00:54:50Just tell me up front, whatever, you know.

00:54:53Are you serious?

00:54:54You want to know?

00:54:55Come on.

00:54:56I'm curious actually.

00:54:57Let me find you a good one.

00:55:00Fine, don't talk to me.

00:55:02I'm done with you and I don't need your sensitive bullshit.

00:55:07And you neurotic loser.

00:55:11Charming, right?

00:55:12Pretty sweet.

00:55:18Sorry I'm late.

00:55:19As my mom used to say, perfection takes time.

00:55:22My friend, you could use a blowjob.

00:55:24While you, maybe, or definitely, sex on the beach.

00:55:31Why do I even drink this?

00:55:33I'll leave you two beautiful people.

00:55:35Just, you know, enjoy.

00:55:37Don't do anything I won't do.

00:55:39Thank you.

00:55:40Oh my gosh.

00:55:41I'm having so much fun by the way.

00:55:43Cheers.

00:55:47Spare no details.

00:55:48Tell me everything.

00:55:50Well, he was really nice.

00:55:52We went to this place called Dangun.

00:55:54It's bipolar and it was really interesting.

00:55:57Okay.

00:55:58Did he plant one on you?

00:56:00No.

00:56:02But we did have sex on the beach.

00:56:07But anyways, you know, I don't know.

00:56:09I do like him, but at the same time, I don't really have a reference.

00:56:12Yeah, I dated Todd and all these guys, but Mark's different.

00:56:16How did it happen with you and Robbie?

00:56:19Okay.

00:56:21We were at this party in Commonwealth

00:56:24and my sister had invited me

00:56:26and I saw this guy standing on the balcony all by himself.

00:56:32And he wasn't necessarily alone,

00:56:34but he was definitely lonely.

00:56:50Hi.

00:56:51Hi.

00:56:52What are you doing all the way over here?

00:56:56Minding my business.

00:57:00Okay.

00:57:01Let me try that one again.

00:57:03My name is Maria de la Santos.

00:57:05I'm helping my sister, the hostess,

00:57:07who I assume invited you or your friends.

00:57:10I can introduce you to a couple of people.

00:57:12She says that you're in the music industry.

00:57:15Thanks, but no thanks.

00:57:18I'm kind of enjoying my solo performance right here.

00:57:21Well, then I guess that makes us out of tune.

00:57:26Wait.

00:57:28I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude.

00:57:31I'm just not a party person.

00:57:33It's not really my scene.

00:57:37Besides, it's starting to sound like a barnyard from this distance.

00:57:42Well, if you come from a quieter pasture,

00:57:45I presume that cows are quieter.

00:57:49Fair enough.

00:57:53It's a company requirement that I attend this party.

00:57:57Rub elbows with the industry folk.

00:58:01Between the two of us,

00:58:03your sister's gotten real pushy

00:58:05ever since she saw you.

00:58:07Between the two of us,

00:58:09your sister's gotten real pushy

00:58:11ever since she started hosting these bands.

00:58:15She actually told me a little bit about you.

00:58:19Really?

00:58:20Yeah, she actually thought that we might hit it off.

00:58:25Is that what she said? Wow.

00:58:28What?

00:58:29What? She speaks really highly of you.

00:58:32She says that you're smart, funny, sensitive.

00:58:38Just enough sarcasm to tie it all together.

00:58:41Wow, that's quite the grocery list you've got there.

00:58:46But, careful what you wish for.

00:58:50Most women will tell you,

00:58:51Oh, I want a sensitive man.

00:58:53But few actually do.

00:58:56What do you mean?

00:58:57Well, we can get very defensive or misunderstood.

00:59:01Temperamental.

00:59:03And when that happens, it's not eloquent.

00:59:06You start sounding like an angry teenage boy.

00:59:11And then that makes someone else defensive and hostile,

00:59:13which makes me defensive and hostile.

00:59:15Wow, you're really selling me on this whole sensitive thing.

00:59:23Well, you know Rob,

00:59:25I can tell that you're different.

00:59:27But maybe give me the benefit of the doubt.

00:59:31Don't put me in a box labeled with all the rest.

00:59:37Okay.

00:59:39Thank you. I'm very eloquent.

00:59:43Let's start with a walk.

00:59:46A walk sounds good.

00:59:48I feel, I feel real.

00:59:59You caught him in flight.

01:00:01He's been running away ever since Mom died.

01:00:04And you tamed him.

01:00:07Hey, speaking of the devil.

01:00:09Hello.

01:00:10I never thought you were coming out of that room.

01:00:13Just getting some extra work done.

01:00:15Trying to make myself stay up late and get ready for the baby.

01:00:18Do you want to make dinner or do you want to order in?

01:00:20No, it's too late. I'm not making dinner.

01:00:23What is that?

01:00:24It's coffee.

01:00:26I know. You've had your third cup.

01:00:29You're only supposed to have two cups a day. You're pregnant.

01:00:31No, don't worry. This is my second cup. It's going to be okay.

01:00:33What's with the attitude?

01:00:35Attitude? There's no attitude, Robbie. Everything's fine.

01:00:40Jess, I need you out.

01:00:42What?

01:00:43I'm having a conversation with my wife.

01:00:45You can't do that to me. I'm not a child.

01:00:47It's my house. Go to your room.

01:00:49What is wrong with you? It's not like that.

01:00:52Robbie. Robbie.

01:00:54From now on, after 6 p.m., no one has coffee, okay?

01:00:58Okay, what has that to do with you?

01:01:00It's bad for the baby's nerves.

01:01:01It's bad for your nerves, if anything.

01:01:03Everything is fine, Rob. This is my second cup.

01:01:09Things aren't as perfect in this home as I imagined they were.

01:01:13I thought Robbie had figured everything out when he married Maria.

01:01:16That being sensitive would get better once you found the right person to shoulder the emotion with.

01:01:21It seems I was wrong.

01:01:23If Robbie was still untamed and out of control, then what hope do any of the rest of us have?

01:01:31Robbie.

01:01:47About last night.

01:01:49I'm really sorry.

01:01:53I didn't mean for that to happen.

01:01:56You reminded me of that.

01:01:57I know.

01:01:59You said that, and that really bothered me.

01:02:04I don't know why that happened.

01:02:07I'm just on edge.

01:02:11And I hate myself when I do it.

01:02:15Listen, I know someone that I want you to talk to.

01:02:20That I think will help you with everything you're going through.

01:02:23Your issues with men.

01:02:29Okay, I'll talk to Maria.

01:02:31It's not Maria. It's a friend of mine.

01:02:34She's the one who told me that I was highly sensitive.

01:02:37That we grew up with this thing where our parents are superheroes.

01:02:43That we couldn't grasp the concept of our mom or dad failing.

01:02:48But HSP's like us, there's no way we can do that.

01:02:51But HSP's like us, there's just a little bit more impact there when you have a really shitty childhood.

01:02:58I know we're not kids anymore.

01:03:01We can't change the past.

01:03:03But I think if you talk to her, she can help you with this whole deal with Todd and everything else.

01:03:11Well, she sounds like a smart lady.

01:03:13We should have coffee, all three of us.

01:03:16That's the thing.

01:03:18It's probably best if it's just the two of you because...

01:03:22She's a therapist.

01:03:24But she's the best in Manila.

01:03:26She's talked to a few of my friends.

01:03:28I asked her if she'd consider talking to you.

01:03:31She said yes.

01:03:35A therapist?

01:03:37Why are you butting into my business?

01:03:40Telling a complete stranger what I'm going through?

01:03:42Who are you to talk about strangers?

01:03:44You just went viral to the whole world.

01:03:47Talking about your issues and mine too.

01:03:50Remember that?

01:03:52Hey.

01:03:54You said that you would owe me one.

01:03:58You really think I need a therapist?

01:04:00Hey, her name is Gina.

01:04:02And she cares.

01:04:05It's not about the time, it's not about the money.

01:04:07If I didn't think she could help you, I wouldn't even bring it up.

01:04:10Just talk to her.

01:04:12Please.

01:04:14Say yes.

01:04:16Do it.

01:04:18Say yes, say yes, say yes.

01:04:20I'll think about it.

01:04:22No, you'll think about it.

01:04:23I'll think about it.

01:04:24Well, think fast. You're not here that long.

01:04:26Think about it.

01:04:32So.

01:04:34I've agreed to see a therapist.

01:04:36I hope she's not the type that keeps looking at the clock and says,

01:04:40Time's up.

01:04:42I didn't have the heart to tell Robby, but I've actually already seen quite a few.

01:04:47And I don't think it's for me.

01:04:52My take on all of this is that if someone doesn't want to learn about you,

01:04:57or your sensitivity, run.

01:05:00Get out of there.

01:05:02Even if they're nice.

01:05:04I once had a nice guy compare my sensitivity to diabetes.

01:05:08Saying all I needed was a shot of insulin.

01:05:12Really? A shot of insulin?

01:05:16Or in his words, antidepressants.

01:05:20I agree.

01:05:22You totally need therapy.

01:05:32Welcome to my sanctuary.

01:05:34It's beautiful.

01:05:38Have a seat.

01:05:39Thank you.

01:05:46You don't look at all like Rob.

01:05:48They say Rob is more like my mom and I'm more like my dad.

01:05:52He's an introvert and I'm an extrovert.

01:05:55Well then, I'm happy to meet the extroverted half of the pair.

01:05:59So tell me.

01:06:02Tell me anything about yourself.

01:06:05Okay, well.

01:06:08Robby says I'm a textbook case.

01:06:11Whatever that means, I don't really know.

01:06:14You mean being a highly sensitive person.

01:06:19Well, first of all, you have to understand

01:06:22there's nothing wrong with being a highly sensitive person.

01:06:25Because in fact, highly sensitive people tend to actually function just as well as the others.

01:06:31In fact, sometimes better.

01:06:33And because I myself am a highly sensitive person.

01:06:37Really?

01:06:38In fact, the only problem there is that

01:06:41when they go through a very traumatic experience in the past,

01:06:47they tend to become more anxious and depressed

01:06:52and end up in hurtful relationships and have even more problems.

01:06:57Then that's when the work has to start.

01:07:00That sounds a lot like me.

01:07:05Look, you have to be able to understand what you went through to be able to reframe it.

01:07:10Reframe it?

01:07:11Yes.

01:07:12You didn't know you were a sensitive person until when?

01:07:17Probably recently, maybe a year or so.

01:07:24You were sensitive your whole life.

01:07:27And you just didn't know how to factor that into your childhood.

01:07:32You see, when highly sensitive children have traumatic, stressful childhoods,

01:07:37they deal with it in two ways.

01:07:39They develop an anxious style of relating or avoidance style.

01:07:45Perhaps you can begin by telling me what your relationship was like with your father.

01:07:49My father wasn't really around much.

01:07:52I spent most of my time with my stepmother or in daycare.

01:07:56And such as in your case, what you had to do as a child was hang on to them,

01:08:02even if you were angry or resentful, especially towards your stepmother,

01:08:08pleasing them so they don't leave you.

01:08:12This is like an automatic response.

01:08:17Your mind tells you, I need to cling on to these people,

01:08:20no matter how abusive they may have been, because I don't want to be abandoned.

01:08:26I don't want to be left behind, so no matter what they do or no matter what happens,

01:08:30you do everything to please them.

01:08:33And exactly that's what's happening to you as an adult.

01:08:37You're hanging on to a partner you know is bad for you.

01:08:41Your mind says, there is no one else.

01:08:44I have to keep him, whatever he does.

01:08:47You'll stay on in spite of knowing that it's not good for you.

01:08:54Well, how about the second one, the avoidance style?

01:09:00Those are the kids who think they can do without anybody

01:09:05and that they don't need anyone when faced with an abusive parent.

01:09:09And as adults, they are the same.

01:09:13Robby. Although he was never abused.

01:09:17Right. But Rob thinks his father more or less disappeared for him

01:09:25and told him he was too sensitive.

01:09:28So Rob thought it was all his fault.

01:09:31That's a kind of abuse.

01:09:34And on top of that, Rob experienced far more trauma than you

01:09:38when your mother died with child.

01:09:40I'm so sorry.

01:10:00Can we stop? I have to go.

01:10:03Is everything okay?

01:10:04Yes, it was very nice to meet you.

01:10:06Very nice to meet you.

01:10:08Well, you can come and see me anytime.

01:10:10Thank you very much and I'm sorry.

01:10:12All right. Take care.

01:10:19I had never felt more welcome or at peace in my entire life.

01:10:24But I could tell the sentiment was not shared by everyone.

01:10:28Robby seemed to really be struggling.

01:10:31And I could understand his pain.

01:10:33He wanted to give his child what he never had.

01:10:36A good father.

01:10:38He was scared that his sensitivity would set him up for failure.

01:10:41And he didn't know how to move past that anxiety.

01:10:44When a strong mood hits an HSP,

01:10:46it's impossible to make small talk or be social.

01:10:49You want to get along, but you often end up a wallflower.

01:10:52I hated seeing him upset

01:10:54and wanted so badly to have some miracle cure to fix it.

01:10:59Just had to get away for a couple of minutes.

01:11:03I really love that family.

01:11:06I don't want to mess anything up when it's my turn, you know?

01:11:11You're doing an amazing job.

01:11:15Thanks.

01:11:33Hello?

01:11:36Um...

01:11:38I'm not busy.

01:11:42Uh, sure. Okay.

01:11:44Sounds good.

01:11:46I'll see you there.

01:11:48Bye.

01:11:52Robby!

01:11:54Robby!

01:11:56Robby!

01:11:58Robby!

01:12:00Robby!

01:12:02Robby!

01:12:09Here we go again.

01:12:11I knew this feeling all too well.

01:12:13The butterflies that came from being on the edge of something new.

01:12:16The feeling of wanting to dive headfirst

01:12:18and also run away as fast as you can.

01:12:21I loved this feeling.

01:12:23And I was terrified of it.

01:12:26It's just like Robby said.

01:12:28One foot on the gas, one on the brake.

01:12:31Something felt different about Mark.

01:12:33You see, most people don't understand

01:12:35when I talk about my sensitivity.

01:12:38They reject me.

01:12:40He seemed like he wanted to try.

01:12:42And that was exciting.

01:12:48Good night.

01:12:50Sorry.

01:12:52Good night.

01:12:56Okay. Thank you.

01:12:58Thank you.

01:13:00Jessica, wait.

01:13:01Yeah?

01:13:03I have a crazy idea.

01:13:07Would you consider going with me to Palawan?

01:13:12If you want.

01:13:13Perhaps.

01:13:15Perhaps I'll consider it.

01:13:17Perhaps.

01:13:19Good night.

01:13:21Perhaps.

01:13:23Perhaps.

01:13:25Perhaps.

01:13:31Perhaps.

01:13:41They say laughter is the best medicine.

01:13:44But whoever said that probably didn't see

01:13:46the beautiful cliffs, beaches, and rivers of Palawan.

01:13:50This place is paradise.

01:13:54I just couldn't resist.

01:13:56Sure, a part of me hopes that I'm not moving too fast with Mark.

01:14:00Repeating my usual mistakes over and over again.

01:14:03Meeting his friends.

01:14:04Staying in some fancy hotel.

01:14:07Him letting me in like this.

01:14:09Trusting me.

01:14:11Means a lot.

01:14:13This feels different than the others.

01:14:16Or maybe I'm just too foolish to realize

01:14:19that this is how they all start.

01:14:22All I know is that right now.

01:14:25In this moment.

01:14:27Falling in love feels all too easy.

01:14:34Good life.

01:14:36This is a good life.

01:14:38Hey guys.

01:14:39I know.

01:14:40I have an idea.

01:14:41Yes.

01:14:42Have you heard about 36 questions?

01:14:44What is that 36 questions?

01:14:46It's a good way to get to know someone.

01:14:48I'll check it on my phone.

01:14:50Okay, let's play it.

01:14:51I have it on my phone.

01:14:53Let's just go around with the questions.

01:14:55Okay.

01:14:56I'll ask you.

01:14:57Is that okay?

01:14:58Go Mark.

01:14:59If you were to die this evening.

01:15:03I told you what's happening.

01:15:05Okay.

01:15:06And you couldn't communicate with anyone.

01:15:08Okay.

01:15:09What would you regret not telling someone?

01:15:11And why haven't you told her yet?

01:15:16You don't know how beautiful you are.

01:15:24And nothing I can say will make you see.

01:15:34That you are more than you believe.

01:15:42No one's ever meant as much as you have meant to me.

01:15:50What?

01:15:51I had so much fun tonight.

01:15:53Yeah.

01:15:55The whole day was amazing.

01:15:57I don't really feel like seeing anybody.

01:16:00Can I just stay here?

01:16:02You go.

01:16:03You have fun.

01:16:04I know you guys want to go.

01:16:05Okay?

01:16:06Just stay here.

01:16:07Please.

01:16:08It's going to be fun.

01:16:09Come on, let's go.

01:16:10Please.

01:16:11I know it's going to be fun.

01:16:13That's why you should go and you should let me just stay here.

01:16:17Please.

01:16:18Go to sleep.

01:16:19Come on.

01:16:20Just get out of bed.

01:16:21Put on something.

01:16:23Mark, I mean.

01:16:24They want to party with the great Jessica.

01:16:26The famous Jessica.

01:16:27Come on.

01:16:28Come on.

01:16:29Let's go.

01:16:30You know what?

01:16:31I really want to spend time with you but I just don't feel like partying right now.

01:16:36Is it okay if you go ahead?

01:16:38Please.

01:16:40I've been a people pleaser my whole life.

01:16:42I just want to say no this time, okay?

01:16:46It was times like this that made being highly sensitive so frustrating.

01:16:51I just wanted to be understood.

01:16:54And it felt like no matter what I said, my feelings were still such a mystery to others.

01:17:09I'd like to pass down something to my highly sensitive friends.

01:17:15It's okay to want to take time, be alone.

01:17:20And I am definitely having the ultimate downtime.

01:17:26I should know.

01:17:28It's okay to want to be alone sometimes.

01:17:40Guys, look at this place.

01:17:42Come on.

01:17:45So beautiful.

01:17:46Awesome.

01:17:47And guys, I just want to thank you for welcoming my...

01:17:58My girlfriend.

01:18:00Can I call you my girlfriend?

01:18:03I'll think about it.

01:18:05Okay.

01:18:06Okay.

01:18:07Wait guys, can I take a quick vlog?

01:18:09Hey guys, we would like to thank Palawan for being our love nest this weekend.

01:18:14Thank you, Palawan!

01:18:15Thank you so much!

01:18:23You're in love.

01:18:27What do you know about love?

01:18:30Why? Because you say it?

01:18:33My dad didn't say I love you to my mom, to me.

01:18:37You don't need to hear I love what you think.

01:18:50So, it's nice to see you back, Jessica.

01:18:53You ran away the other day like a scared rabbit.

01:18:56What happened?

01:18:59Okay, so I get it.

01:19:02I'm the anxious type and I cling to men and...

01:19:06I think you got it just about right.

01:19:10What do I do?

01:19:12You know, oftentimes highly sensitive people are thought to be the wrong ones.

01:19:21But they're the ones who need to change.

01:19:24Because they're not typical.

01:19:26Because they're not typical.

01:19:28So when they're in a partnership, and with a partner who puts them down...

01:19:32Screw you! You! You!

01:19:34You are a curse! Alright? You're bad energy!

01:19:37They have no safe place.

01:19:39They have to create one for themselves.

01:19:42At least I'd care about something more than just myself.

01:19:46You know what?

01:19:47I tell sensitive women in particular to take time off from men.

01:19:57They need to heal.

01:19:59They need to reframe the past.

01:20:03Create a lifestyle that suits them.

01:20:06And not that of their partners.

01:20:10Once you build your own person...

01:20:13You'll be surprised with a good man that you'll start attracting.

01:20:17And then you'll start scaring away the bad ones.

01:20:21What if the good ones don't want me?

01:20:24What if I let the good one slip away?

01:20:33Then all the more reason that you have to build a life for yourself that you love.

01:20:45Travel!

01:20:46Travel!

01:20:47Men or no men.

01:20:49Deep friendships.

01:20:52You know what I tell my highly sensitive friends?

01:20:57You know what I recommend they do?

01:20:59Meditation.

01:21:01Are you saying I should take a power nap?

01:21:04Well, it's beyond power nap.

01:21:06I'd like to call it my daily quiet zone.

01:21:09The ultimate downtime sanctuary.

01:21:13I do it diligently.

01:21:16It's worth a try.

01:21:18And maybe through that you'll see the light.

01:21:21My therapist told me to have downtime, quality friendships, and to try to see the light.

01:21:29There was one person I knew who could help me with all three.

01:21:34And she had just arrived in Manila.

01:21:37So I just went to my therapist to talk about my day.

01:21:41So I just went to my therapist to talk about Mark and Palawan.

01:21:45It's girl time. No boys.

01:21:47Lizzy and I are polar opposites.

01:21:49She is not an HSP.

01:21:53Smells like Nana's feet.

01:21:54And yet we get along great.

01:21:56Also, did I mention that she's amazing and hilarious.

01:22:01I'll eat anything.

01:22:02What's wrong?

01:22:03How did they do this?

01:22:05Display it this way. It's so inhumane.

01:22:09Girl, it's a pig.

01:22:11It could very well pass as my brother.

01:22:14And I'm over it.

01:22:15I'm moving on.

01:22:16Let's go.

01:22:29I'll be honest.

01:22:30I don't think I'd be remembering anyone's names tonight.

01:22:33Except for this guy.

01:22:36You might want to watch her dress.

01:22:38She might steal your little crush from you.

01:22:41I know a lot about you.

01:22:43Untrue.

01:22:44Don't believe her. I didn't say anything.

01:22:47I swear I did not say anything to her.

01:22:50Rob, Rob, Rob, don't worry.

01:22:51You don't have to be jealous.

01:22:53Oh my God.

01:22:54I know you've always had a crush on.

01:23:00Oh my God, that party was popping.

01:23:03I can't believe you're leaving me.

01:23:05I know.

01:23:06You're in a good place.

01:23:07And I'm so happy for you.

01:23:10Can I just remind you?

01:23:12About this Mark guy.

01:23:14I can see that Mark loves you.

01:23:17And he's coming from a good place.

01:23:18But guard your heart.

01:23:22I don't want to see you get hurt again.

01:23:25And never set your eyes on that vile, disgusting, good for nothing, narcissistic, Hollywood playboy.

01:23:33Todd.

01:23:35I promise.

01:23:36Please.

01:23:38After posting my vlogs, I loved reading the comments.

01:23:42It was amazing to see that there was a community of people out there who were like me.

01:23:47And understood what I was going through.

01:23:49I also loved that I could help in some small way by sharing my experience.

01:23:56Oh my God.

01:23:57She's spilling my guts so much.

01:24:00I was scrolling through the comments of my latest video when something serious caught my eye.

01:24:07It was Mark.

01:24:09And he was being sarcastic about my sensitivity.

01:24:13Before my post, he had asked me to move in with him.

01:24:16And I couldn't answer right away.

01:24:18I said I had to think about it and he seemed to take that as a rejection.

01:24:22It wasn't a no, just not a yes.

01:24:25I knew he was upset but to take it out like this?

01:24:27I mean, he wrote about our private moments and all the ways I had let him down.

01:24:33Why would he do that to me?

01:24:35He knew that I had limits.

01:24:37And he was now using them against me.

01:24:47If you were mad or hurt that I turned you down, then you should have just said it to my face.

01:24:53It's not fair for you to make unilateral decisions about us.

01:24:57Although it was sweet and just expect me to answer right then and there.

01:25:04It's simple for me.

01:25:06Why do you have to make things complicated?

01:25:08Simple to you?

01:25:11My home is in San Francisco.

01:25:13My family, my friends, my father lives there.

01:25:16And now I have Mila.

01:25:18Okay, then we can make a move here.

01:25:19You know, you're a writer.

01:25:20You can write anywhere.

01:25:21You can make friends anywhere.

01:25:23I can't move because of my work.

01:25:25Okay, it might be a bit complicated but how will I know what you're even thinking?

01:25:29You know, if I don't ask, you don't tell me.

01:25:31For someone who writes so much, you have a real problem of expressing yourself in person.

01:25:36Are you kidding me?

01:25:39Isn't it obvious how hard this decision is for me to make?

01:25:44Do I have to spell it out for you?

01:25:46You either spit it out or you shut down.

01:25:50I told you, this is who I am.

01:25:52I told you, this is who I am.

01:25:54Yeah, that's another thing.

01:25:55But maybe I shouldn't even be saying this but I just feel like this whole highly sensitive thing is just a crutch for you.

01:26:01You use it as an excuse like a family emergency at work.

01:26:05Maybe you don't understand me.

01:26:08Maybe you're just trying to get me into bed.

01:26:11Are you even feeling yourself right now?

01:26:14Just be rational.

01:26:15You're being erotic.

01:26:16You're making the butterflies nervous.

01:26:19You know what, for someone who claims to be such a good listener,

01:26:22you don't hear me at all.

01:26:24You know what, I think you're stubborn and you're a...

01:26:27A what?

01:26:29Never mind.

01:26:30Go ahead.

01:26:33Just say it.

01:26:38Whiner. You're a highly sensitive whiner.

01:26:53It's not what you think of me.

01:26:56That's what you really think of me.

01:27:01It's happening.

01:27:04Sometimes, you think you know how badly someone can hurt you.

01:27:08And yet, it always managed to surprise me.

01:27:13Jessie.

01:27:15What's wrong?

01:27:18What happened?

01:27:20It made all the difference that Gina understood.

01:27:24I cried my heart out.

01:27:26But someplace deep inside,

01:27:29I also got it.

01:27:30I think Mark and I broke up.

01:27:33Oh.

01:27:34Listen.

01:27:39The most important thing is to get past those knee-jerk reactions.

01:27:44And listen.

01:27:45Always take the other person's perspective into consideration.

01:27:53You okay?

01:27:55Yeah.

01:27:56Oh.

01:27:57I needed someone like her when I was growing up.

01:27:59Not what I got and not what I'm getting now.

01:28:02I gotta run. I'm so sorry.

01:28:04Thank you. No, I'm fine.

01:28:06Thank you so much for taking the time.

01:28:09It was almost fate that I met her and Mark at the same time.

01:28:12It was almost fate that I met her and Mark at the same time.

01:28:15How are you?

01:28:29Ah, ah, ah.

01:28:33Ah, ah.

01:28:36Help me.

01:28:39Help me.

01:28:40Oh, no.

01:28:41Oh, no, no, sir.

01:28:42Baby, baby, baby.

01:28:43This is going to be okay.

01:28:44She's in a lot of pain.

01:28:50Ma'am?

01:28:51When was the pain started, ma'am?

01:28:54Ma'am?

01:28:55Can you just check?

01:28:56Ma'am?

01:28:57Check, ma'am?

01:28:59Oh.

01:29:02Please help her, she's in a lot of pain.

01:29:03I'm calling the security.

01:29:04You're just not helping us.

01:29:06Can you please stay outside?

01:29:07I'm not going anywhere.

01:29:08I'm not leaving my wife.

01:29:09Stay outside, please, sir.

01:29:11We'll do everything.

01:29:12Baby, baby.

01:29:13Stay outside, okay?

01:29:14Baby.

01:29:16Ma'am, no, no, no.

01:29:17No, ma'am.

01:29:21Check the vital signs.

01:29:29Ma'am, we'll do the internal examination.

01:29:34Just check, ma'am.

01:29:36Ma'am, no, no, no.

01:29:37No, ma'am.

01:29:44Oh.

01:30:00What happened?

01:30:09I told Robbie that everything would be okay.

01:30:12That Maria was strong.

01:30:14That she would get through this.

01:30:17The truth is that I wasn't sure.

01:30:20But we both needed to hear and believe that now.

01:30:33Sir Robbie.

01:30:36Maria will be fine.

01:30:38You can see her in a few minutes.

01:30:40And I'm sure you realize she had a miscarriage.

01:30:44And lost the baby.

01:30:46It's a natural thing.

01:30:49Don't worry.

01:30:59I'm so sorry.

01:31:01I'm so sorry.

01:31:03I'm so sorry.

01:31:05I'm so sorry.

01:31:07I'm so sorry.

01:31:08I'm so sorry.

01:31:10I'm so sorry.

01:31:13I'm so sorry.

01:31:28It was deep and profound sadness unlike anything I had ever known.

01:31:32Robbie had felt this pain before when our mother died trying to give us a sibling at 43.

01:31:37Feeling it again.

01:32:03Hello?

01:32:05Dad?

01:32:07Jessica?

01:32:09Everything okay?

01:32:11No, it's not okay.

01:32:13Maria, Maria lost the baby and Robbie's going insane.

01:32:20I just wanted to make you guys closer.

01:32:23Get closer to each other.

01:32:27I need your help.

01:32:28I need your help.

01:32:31I can't do this alone.

01:32:42Dad?

01:32:45Yeah, Jessica, I'm still here.

01:32:52No, you're not here.

01:32:56You're not here.

01:32:58You're not here.

01:33:28You're not here.

01:33:58You're not here.

01:34:09Do you realize what happened after four months?

01:34:11That's what we get?

01:34:12That happens?

01:34:13Four fucking months?

01:34:16Stop yelling please, okay?

01:34:18We can talk about this.

01:34:19You don't need to start packing right now.

01:34:20Come on.

01:34:22Everything they said.

01:34:24Everything that they wanted us to do, the doctors.

01:34:25Everything that they told us.

01:34:26We did it.

01:34:27We did it, yes.

01:34:28You took care of yourself.

01:34:29I did.

01:34:30Everything that you were supposed to do, you did.

01:34:32I did it.

01:34:33Rob, calm down, please.

01:34:34Just be quiet for two seconds, okay?

01:34:39Oh, no, of course we didn't do anything wrong, Rob.

01:34:43These things happen.

01:34:44Four months?

01:34:45After four months, that's what's going to happen?

01:34:53Losing a baby is always going to be hard.

01:34:56Even at the hands of really natural causes,

01:34:58even at his stage of growth, it's still pretty common.

01:35:02But maybe our grief for our little guy has been enough.

01:35:05Don't you get it?

01:35:06Don't you get it?

01:35:07You've always wanted a family.

01:35:09But I'm not the one who could do that for you.

01:35:11I tried, and I couldn't do it.

01:35:13And I'm not going to do that again.

01:35:16Please help us.

01:35:17She's in a lot of pain.

01:35:18I'm not going anywhere.

01:35:19I'm not leaving my wife.

01:35:20Rob.

01:35:21Rob, come on, please.

01:35:22Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

01:35:23Please just stop packing.

01:35:24What are you doing?

01:35:25I love you.

01:35:26I love you, too.

01:35:27I want you to find someone who's going to give you everything you deserve.

01:35:31I found you.

01:35:32I want you, Rob.

01:35:33Please don't.

01:35:34I'm not good enough.

01:35:35I'm not good enough.

01:35:36Yes, you are.

01:35:37I can't do it.

01:35:38I've got to be with you, Rob.

01:35:39I couldn't do it.

01:35:40Rob, Rob.

01:35:41I tried, and I couldn't do it.

01:35:42Rob, please calm down, okay?

01:35:43We can talk about this, okay?

01:35:44Just give us two seconds to talk about this, please.

01:35:47I need to just...

01:35:53Okay.

01:35:54Look, Rob.

01:35:55We can try this again.

01:35:59Something happened to me watching you go through that inside.

01:36:03Something happened, and I'm not going to let myself go through that again.

01:36:06I don't want you to go through that again.

01:36:08You.

01:36:09Everything is you.

01:36:10God.

01:36:11Oh, what do you think happened to me?

01:36:13Rob, please.

01:36:14No, no, no.

01:36:15Just no.

01:36:16Can you just look at me for two seconds, please?

01:36:19The things that I had to go through.

01:36:21The things that I put up with.

01:36:23Everything just to make sure that you were okay.

01:36:27And I was not okay.

01:36:30And I did that for you, so please do this for me.

01:36:47You don't have to go.

01:36:54You don't have to go.

01:36:58No.

01:37:04Okay.

01:37:05Okay.

01:37:21I left Maria.

01:37:24And just like that, he was gone.

01:37:30I feel paralyzed.

01:37:32The worst part is that I understand him.

01:37:36I would need to run away, too.

01:37:38Every time you look at her face, you feel her pain.

01:37:43And feel responsible.

01:37:47I'm sorry.

01:37:49I'm sorry.

01:37:51And feel responsible.

01:38:02What would Gina say?

01:38:04She'd call it dissociation.

01:38:08He locked away the terrible trauma.

01:38:11Then he saw Maria at the hospital.

01:38:13In a horrible pain, an unborn child, and he had to run from it.

01:38:18Shut it away, too.

01:38:20He couldn't connect the dots, see the link.

01:38:23But I can get him to.

01:38:25I can do it.

01:38:27Tell me everything about our mother.

01:38:32There are so many different kinds of love in the world.

01:38:36And while we talk a lot about romantic love,

01:38:40I want to focus on something that doesn't get as much play.

01:38:44And that's sibling love.

01:38:48My brother never had a choice on having me as his little sister.

01:38:57But he loved me.

01:38:59And loves me just the same.

01:39:03We don't even need to talk about it.

01:39:07And we barely touch the mushy stuff.

01:39:12But it's there.

01:39:13And that's real love.

01:40:13piano plays softly

01:40:29There's so much that happened this last week

01:40:32between the hospital and my brother,

01:40:35well, his grief.

01:40:38Meanwhile, no sign of Mark.

01:40:42I'm not sure how I feel about that.

01:40:45I'm so tired, I'm exhausted.

01:40:50Robbie and Maria are better,

01:40:52and believe it or not, I helped.

01:40:55Sometimes we take that for granted,

01:40:57our own inner strength,

01:41:00our highly sensitive depth,

01:41:02and how that, it can just show up when we need it.

01:41:05And we can also take for granted just someone being around.

01:41:10This is my advice to you.

01:41:13Whatever you hold valuable,

01:41:16don't ever take it for granted.

01:41:23Hey Jess, is that you?

01:41:24Uh, yeah, I got it.

01:41:29Is Robbie home?

01:41:31Dad?

01:41:33Uh, don't worry about Mila, she's in safe hands.

01:41:39I'm sorry, come in.

01:41:41Hey Jess, who is it?

01:41:57Can we talk?

01:42:01Yeah.

01:42:09Come in.

01:42:33I'm sorry, Rob,

01:42:35about all those years.

01:42:37I appreciate you invited us to your graduations,

01:42:40your wedding.

01:42:42Maria, she's a wonderful woman.

01:42:45But,

01:42:47all those bits before that,

01:42:51I'm just so sorry.

01:42:58I mean, I guess I could have

01:43:00tried to understand what you were going through after Mom died.

01:43:05You mean marrying Sarah?

01:43:08We were never crazy in love, I mean,

01:43:10how could I be, not after your Mom died, you know?

01:43:14And I tried to warn Sarah.

01:43:16I knew I'd have to throw myself into my work to try to,

01:43:19to stop the sorrow.

01:43:23Stop it, or?

01:43:25Avoid it.

01:43:26Yeah, and that was another mistake I made.

01:43:29Yeah, I heard.

01:43:31The whole avoiding thing?

01:43:34I'm not doing any better.

01:43:36I even got labeled avoidant.

01:43:39You know,

01:43:41whenever I looked at you or Jessica,

01:43:44I'd see your mother.

01:43:47We're both like her in so many more ways.

01:43:51You know,

01:43:53I thought I wanted a different kind of son.

01:43:57And you grew up knowing that.

01:43:59I didn't try to hide that I wanted to change you.

01:44:05That I wanted to wipe away that sensitivity.

01:44:09I didn't like it when you were weak,

01:44:11or you were shy.

01:44:14You were like my project when your Mom was alive.

01:44:17I wanted to toughen you up,

01:44:19make you into a man.

01:44:20I thought that would be really good for you.

01:44:25You know what hurts me now?

01:44:30I used to think there was something the matter with you,

01:44:32but now,

01:44:33now I think there's something the matter with me.

01:44:37I just don't understand all that sensitivity thing.

01:44:40I wasn't born with it, so I never can.

01:44:46I guess that's what I deserve, you know, for...

01:44:50for making you suffer all those years.

01:44:57There's no shame

01:44:59in just being the person you were born to be.

01:45:03You can have differences and still be equally as good.

01:45:06I think sometimes having differences can even help.

01:45:10And that's what I learned from Maria.

01:45:15I'm really glad you're here.

01:45:19You need your family.

01:45:23My family needs you.

01:45:30I love you.

01:45:32I love you, Dad.

01:45:47I'm gonna start to bug you about a lot of things.

01:45:50In the first one,

01:45:52I'm gonna start with the smoking.

01:45:56I might even give up drinking, you know.

01:45:59Oh, wow.

01:46:00You really mean this, don't you?

01:46:13I love you,

01:46:15and there's nothing you can do about it.

01:46:25I love you.

01:46:39Hey, promise me something.

01:46:42You've engaged the brain before putting your mouth into gear.

01:46:46Especially when it comes to men.

01:46:51I love you.

01:46:54Okay, my turn now.

01:46:56Maria!

01:47:02You know that family means everything to me, huh?

01:47:06And the fact that you were able to bring Robbie here with his dad,

01:47:10it means everything to me.

01:47:14You got Jesse, huh?

01:47:17You know what's funny?

01:47:19Is you came to the Philippines to find healing for yourself,

01:47:22but really, you just healed us.

01:47:31Squeeze her, squeeze her tight!

01:47:37Hey, uh, what's up, Mark?

01:47:39Hey, Rob.

01:47:41How you doing, man?

01:47:46Hey, man, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you guys.

01:47:49I'm sorry, man.

01:47:50You're always there, man. I appreciate that.

01:47:52Thank you, man. I appreciate it.

01:47:59Oh, I'm sorry.

01:48:00Uh, Dad, this is my friend, Mark.

01:48:03Mark, my dad.

01:48:05Hey, Mom. It's good to meet you.

01:48:07Hoped I would.

01:48:08Oh, really?

01:48:09Yeah, really.

01:48:10Nice seeing you, too, sir.

01:48:11Yes, thank you.

01:48:13So, Dad, uh, coffee on you?

01:48:16Me?

01:48:17Coffee? I would love some coffee.

01:48:19All right, okay. Nice meeting you, sir.

01:48:21Love you guys.

01:48:31So, I'm sorry we had that fight,

01:48:34and I just thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see.

01:48:41You're definitely the last person I'd expect to see,

01:48:44but I'm happy.

01:48:48I'm happy I saw you before I left.

01:48:51You remember when you asked me, back in Palawan,

01:48:55when we did the 36 questions?

01:49:01The thing that I would regret most, not telling someone.

01:49:07I remember, but you never told us.

01:49:11Well, I love you.

01:49:30Can I have something for you?

01:49:32I usually don't get my Hollywood ending,

01:49:35where the guy runs to the airport with flowers

01:49:37to confess his love for me.

01:49:39But for once, I'm not going to think I don't deserve it.

01:49:43I'm not sure how I feel about Mark,

01:49:46or if we could ever make it work,

01:49:48but I'm really happy that we shared our time together.

01:49:51I'm heading back to San Francisco with a new outlook.

01:49:56What?

01:50:07I missed you.

01:50:15Baby! Mila!

01:50:17Mila! Hi, Papa!

01:50:20Hi, Papa! You look so pretty!

01:50:23Come here. What's this?

01:50:28Thank your dad for letting me take care of Mila.

01:50:31It was a treat, better than therapy.

01:50:34I thought you would love to see her welcoming you home.

01:50:38Definitely, I love you, and I missed you!

01:50:43Hi, guys, so I'm back home in my house.

01:50:46I can't believe this all started with an accidental blog post,

01:50:50and now this is an intentional sending of love

01:50:54to all my sensitive friends.

01:50:57I had the opportunity to meet all of you,

01:51:00and I'm so happy that you're all here.

01:51:03Thank you so much.

01:51:05I love you.

01:51:07I love you too.

01:51:09Hi, friends.

01:51:11I had the opportunity to get to know myself and love myself more,

01:51:14and I hope you guys all share this with me

01:51:18and have your own experience of that growth and acceptance,

01:51:22that love for you and your sensitivity as a whole.

01:51:27And I just want to give a special shout-out to Mark.

01:51:31I want you to know that I am thinking of you,

01:51:34and never say never.

01:51:40Uh, come in.

01:51:45Come in.

01:51:49Hi.

01:51:57What are you doing here?

01:52:00I thought you were in L.A.

01:52:02Yeah, I'm just up for the weekend, visiting friends.

01:52:08It's actually the first time I've been back.

01:52:10I've been so busy with the new job.

01:52:13I finally get to be the boss.

01:52:15Wow, that's great.

01:52:18I'm happy for you.

01:52:23I think about you all the time.

01:52:25I'm sorry about what happened, but...

01:52:28Hold on.

01:52:31I still love you, and I think you still love me.

01:52:35I mean, yeah, I know about the other guy, all right?

01:52:38But he's there, and I'm here.

01:52:41And I know you.

01:52:43Don't deny that.

01:52:45I've known you longer and better.

01:52:49I mean, I know we've fallen apart,

01:52:52but we've always come back together, haven't we?

01:52:57Jess, can you ever forgive me?

01:53:02Of course I can.

01:53:04Todd, you know when I first met you,

01:53:06I needed someone to take care of,

01:53:09and you needed someone to take care of me also,

01:53:13and I thought that that was all I deserved.

01:53:18Even if you thought that I needed fixing

01:53:21and I was defective.

01:53:24So you're going to hold that against me?

01:53:27No, not at all.

01:53:28I mean, I let it go.

01:53:31I just want to be a new person now.

01:53:33Right. No, same.

01:53:34And look, you and I, we can have a new start.

01:53:40Yes, but not together.

01:53:47Excuse me.

01:53:49Todd, I don't need fixing anymore.

01:53:52And you don't need to fix me because I'm not broke.

01:53:57You know, I thought before that my sensitivity was a curse.

01:54:02But now I know it's a gift.

01:54:05And I understand that now.

01:54:08And now I know who I am.

01:54:11I'm so sorry you came all the way here to hear this.

01:54:16I hope that maybe we can still be friends

01:54:20and still get along, Todd.

01:54:25You don't know how beautiful you are

01:54:34And nothing I can say

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