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Art et designTranscription
00:00All right Crafts, tomorrow is show and tell. So bring your favorite thing to Crafts tomorrow so you can show to Crafts and tell them about it. Get it? Because that's why it's called show and tell.
00:12Show and tell? Oh my god, I have so much cool stuff I can bring.
00:15Oh guys, I'm going to bring Rogue Hill. So tell me guys, what dead animal do you want to see?
00:19Me and Ken are going to bring the coolest thing ever that I bet nobody else has.
00:23Well Penelope, what are you going to bring?
00:24I'm going to bring something close to my heart.
00:27Guys, she's going to show us her boobs.
00:28What?
00:29Yeah, it's close to your heart. Your heart's right here and your boobs are outside your heart.
00:31Ugh, shut up Junior.
00:33Or she's going to show us her ribcage.
00:35Yes Joseph, that would be close to her heart.
00:38I knew it.
00:39Hmm, what should I bring for show and tell tomorrow?
00:42You should bring a microscope so everyone can see your little tiny brain, dummy.
00:47Well, you should bring a microscope to show everyone your tiny weird.
00:50I bet whatever you bring tomorrow is going to be stupid.
00:52I'll have you know that I have a cat piano that makes cat noises.
00:56No, no you don't, that's impossible.
00:58Well, I do have one and you'll see it tomorrow because that's where I'm going to bring it.
01:02Well, if you don't bring it, you're a loser.
01:04Well, I'm going to bring it so I'm not a loser.
01:06Yeah, right, I'll believe it when I see it.
01:08Oh man, I can't wait to pour a tall glass of soda.
01:11Oh yeah, it's going to look so good.
01:13Hey Marvin!
01:14Ah, ah, ah!
01:16Look what you did!
01:18Why did you do that?
01:19You startled me!
01:20Marvin, his toy's ruined. Jimmy's going to be mad.
01:23Look, he shouldn't be leaving his toys in the kitchen.
01:25It's not ruined, just grab some napkins, we can clean it up.
01:27Okay.
01:29Alright Marvin, it's all clean.
01:30It looks good as new, Jeffy won't notice that you poured soda on it.
01:33I didn't pour soda on it, you did!
01:35Baby, if you wouldn't have scared me, I wouldn't have dropped it, so it's your fault.
01:38That's not my fault!
01:39Alright then, I need my cat piano.
01:41Here it is, Jeffy.
01:43Alright, sweet.
01:44How was school, Jeffy?
01:46What?
01:47What's wrong, Jeffy?
01:48My kitty cat piano is not making kitty cat noises.
01:51Maybe it's not on.
01:53Nope, it's on.
01:54Maybe the batteries are dead.
01:56No, I changed them last night.
01:58Maybe she poured soda on it.
02:00I didn't pour soda on it, you did!
02:02If you wouldn't have scared me, I wouldn't have dropped the soda on it.
02:04Wait, you spilled soda on my cat piano!
02:07That was her.
02:10Jeffy, stop crying.
02:13You don't even need this dumb toy anyway.
02:15No, I need it for tomorrow at school!
02:18Why do you need it at school? You can't take this to school.
02:20Because tomorrow is show and tell and there's this kid that doesn't believe me that my cat piano can make kitty cat noises.
02:27Well, Jeffy, don't take this to show and tell. You'll get bullied if you take this. Take a different toy.
02:30No, I have to take this one and it's not making kitty cat noises!
02:34We will call a repairman to get it fixed. Baby, call a repairman.
02:37Me?
02:38Just call him.
02:39Fine!
02:40Look, Jeffy, everything is going to be fine. Maybe there's just something stuck in the keys or something like that.
02:44Yeah, probably soda is stuck in the keys.
02:48That's the repairman right now. She's entering the door.
02:50Good.
02:51Hello?
02:52Hey there, you call a repairman?
02:53Yes, I need your help.
02:55What do you need help with?
02:56My cat got wet and now it won't meow.
02:58Your cat got wet?
03:00Yeah.
03:01Wait, aren't you married?
03:03Yes, but my husband can't help me fix it. That's why I called you.
03:06Okay, yeah, yes, I can help, but yeah, so how do you want to do this?
03:12Do you want to get stuck in the dryer and I try to help you out?
03:14No, come upstairs. We can fix it on the couch.
03:16Oh, okay, even better. God, thank you. How did I get so lucky?
03:20Come in here, in here.
03:22You're going to want to put some towels down because it's going to be like a Diet Coke with Mentos in it.
03:25I've got to stop jumping to conclusions.
03:27Why are you naked?
03:29Yeah, why are you naked?
03:30I thought you were talking about something else.
03:33I was talking about the cat piano.
03:35Well, I can see that now.
03:36Wait, why are you naked?
03:37Because it's hot in here.
03:39You know what, that's why. So turn on your AC. I had to take my clothes off.
03:42Now let's just get this over with. I'm not in the mood.
03:44Okay, well look, this is my son's cat piano and I spilled soda on it so it doesn't work.
03:48Oh, that's why you said your cat was wet. Okay, I get it now.
03:51Well, can you fix it?
03:52Well, what's it supposed to do?
03:54When you press the key, it's supposed to meow.
03:56Well, it's not doing that, so you fried it.
03:59I fried it?
04:00Yeah, you're going to have to get another one.
04:01I don't want another one! I want this one!
04:04Is that how we act here? Like five-year-olds?
04:06Is there any way you can fix this one?
04:08No, no, it's done. Get another one.
04:10Look, I'll pay you $100 if you can fix it.
04:13Okay, I have an idea. Hold on.
04:15What's taking them so long?
04:17Hey Marvin, press one of the keys!
04:19What?
04:20Press one of the keys!
04:21Okay.
04:22See, it's fixed. Tell your son it's fixed.
04:24Jeffy, your piano's fixed.
04:26Really? Let me see.
04:31It doesn't sound right.
04:33He says it doesn't sound right.
04:34What do you mean it doesn't sound right?
04:36This little shit bit me.
04:37What happened?
04:38Well, I found a cat and I was squeezing him every time you pressed a key.
04:41That's not fixing it. He has to take it to school for show-and-tell.
04:43He can't squeeze a cat for show-and-tell.
04:45Okay, look, man. I got blue balls, a cat just bit me, and I can't fix your piano, okay?
04:48It's not going to happen. Just buy another one.
04:50Can I have that $100 back?
04:52No.
04:56I need my cat piano for show-and-tell tomorrow!
05:00We're going to fix it.
05:01Marvin, I think we need to buy a new one.
05:03Okay, you go to the store and buy a new one, and I'm going to just throw this one away,
05:06and then when the new one comes, we'll just say it's his old one.
05:08All right, Jeffy, I'm going to go to the kitchen and fix this, so just stay right here and don't follow me.
05:11Okay.
05:12Okay, Marvin, I got the cat piano.
05:14Baby, what is this?
05:15It was the best one I could find.
05:16It's really small. He's going to be able to tell it's not the original.
05:19Maybe he won't notice.
05:20Hey, Jeffy, we fixed your cat piano.
05:23What the hell is this?
05:24It's your cat piano. Look, it meows.
05:27See?
05:28This is dumb! It's too small! I want the big one!
05:32Hey, Jeffy, sometimes it's not about size. It's how you use it, right, baby?
05:35Yeah, some people say that, but I kind of like the big ones.
05:37Yeah, I like the big one too, so I want the big cat piano back!
05:40Well, Jeffy, there isn't a bigger one, right?
05:42Well, there's actually a bigger one at the store.
05:44Then why didn't you buy that one?
05:45Because it's really big.
05:47Well, then go get that one.
05:48Okay!
05:49April Fools, Jeffy. This was just a prank.
05:51But it's November.
05:52I know. Isn't that just crazy?
05:54All right, Marvin, how about this one?
05:56Baby, this is huge!
05:57I told you that!
05:58Daddy, I think I like this one more.
06:01Marvin, they're all sold out.
06:03No, I will find it somewhere.
06:04All right, so just throw this away, and I'll be right back.
06:09I can't find that cat piano anywhere.
06:11I looked online. I looked in the store. I just can't find it.
06:13God, I'd give my soul for a cat piano.
06:16Blay!
06:17The devil!
06:18Stop.
06:19God, I can't find it anywhere.
06:21I can't find it.
06:22I can't find it.
06:23I can't find it.
06:24I can't find it.
06:25I can't find it.
06:26I can't find it.
06:27I can't find it.
06:28I can't find it.
06:29What's up?
06:30God?
06:31God, what are you doing here? I was here first.
06:33Oh, whatever, Lucifer.
06:35Hey, don't call me that. It is Craig now.
06:37Craig? What a dumb name.
06:39Anyway, who are you going to pick?
06:40And remember, if you don't pick me, I'm going to burn you.
06:42What a nice guy, right?
06:44Don't listen to him. He's just salty because I kicked him out of heaven.
06:47He was double dipping in the cheese dip at my friend's quinceañera.
06:50Everybody was double dipping.
06:52Well, you're the only one I saw doing it.
06:54Okay, so who are you picking?
06:56I think I'm going with God.
06:57Oh, come on. He wins everything.
07:00Yeah, that's right. Get to stepping, ho.
07:02I'm out of here.
07:03All right, so what do you need?
07:04Okay, well, I broke my son's cat piano, and I was wondering if you could make a new one.
07:08Cat piano. Yeah, I can do that. Just describe it so I can make it.
07:12Okay, so it's like an orange cat, and it's like a piano. It makes cat noises.
07:16Wait, so is its body the piano?
07:18But no, it's like the cat's face, and the teeth are like the piano keys.
07:22Man, that's weird. You're freaking me out.
07:24Can you just try to make it?
07:26I think I can. Hold on.
07:29Is that it?
07:30That is it. It's perfect.
07:31Yep, it is. All right, I'm going to take off. I've got a quinceañera to go to.
07:36Excuse me.
07:38Oh, my God. It's perfect. It's perfect.
07:40All right, Jeffy, I fixed your cat piano.
07:43Oh, you fixed it, daddy.
07:45How did you do that, Marvin?
07:47Let's just say I got a little help from God.
07:49Yes, God.
07:50All right, Jeffy, take it to your show and tell tomorrow.
07:52Oh, I sure will, daddy. I'm going to show that boy that he's wrong.
08:00All right, crafts, today is show and tell.
08:03So I'm going to call you up one by one, and you're going to come up to the board and show the crafts what you brought.
08:08Cody, you're first.
08:09Me first? Hold on.
08:11Get in your suit, Ken.
08:13Okay, we're ready.
08:14Okay, guys, so for my show and tell, I brought these Coke bottles.
08:19That's lame.
08:20Loser.
08:21Les gars, laissez-le finir.
08:23Merci, Penelope.
08:24Now, these look like normal Coke bottles, but if you turn them around, they have me and Ken's name on the back.
08:29Never mind, that's lame.
08:30Loser.
08:31Wow, the best you can do is a Coke bottle, dude?
08:34I'm homeless, and I'm going to do better than you.
08:36Yeah, loser.
08:38Well, Ken's a Power Ranger. He's the red one.
08:41You see that? That's cool, right? He was in all the shows.
08:44What if you just went to the store and bought a Power Rangers action figure, and you're trying to say it's Ken?
08:48No, no, this is really Ken. He's a real Power Ranger.
08:50Dude, I just found Ken in your desk. That's totally not Ken.
08:54Shut the fuck up, Joseph.
08:55Hey, dude, no throwing.
08:58All right, Cody, go back to your desk. Joseph, you're next.
09:01Yeah, Joseph, let's see what you bring.
09:05I'm about to knock this shit out of the park. This is how you do a real show and tell, Cody.
09:09All right, guys, this is Tommy. He's a dead squirrel. I found him on the side of the road. He got hit by a car.
09:16No way, a truck. A Toyota? No, no, no.
09:21Oh, yeah, it was a Ford. It was a Ford.
09:25Going 45 miles per hour.
09:29Oh, he was drunk. He was drunk, guys.
09:31Thank you, Joseph.
09:33I mean, you can pat him if you want. I mean, he might bite you. He has rabies.
09:37After a crash, you can pass him around, and everyone can pat him. Go back to your desk.
09:41All right, Junior, you're next.
09:42Thank you, Clash. Ha! Beat that, guys.
09:45Joseph, anybody can grab a dead animal out of the road.
09:47But can you tell the make and model and the speed and the sobriety of the driver through the taste of its blood?
09:52No. I didn't think so.
09:54Let me go grab my show and tell person.
09:56All right, guys, what if I told you that a whale, a pig, and a cow had a threesome and had a baby?
10:02Junior, is that my mom?
10:04Shut up, Cody. I'm presenting. I present to you the amazing talking whale-pig-cow.
10:08Hey, everybody.
10:10Mom?
10:11Oh, hey, Cody. What am I doing in your classroom?
10:14Ta-da! I heard that this magnificent creature can eat five times its body weight in food.
10:19It's true. Catch me at the Golden Corral Buffet on Tuesdays. I'm an animal.
10:23Thank you, Junior. Go back to your seat.
10:26All right, Penelope, you're next.
10:27Oh, my gosh. She's going to show us her tits.
10:29Mom, I can't believe you'd embarrass yourself and me like that.
10:32Oh, Cody, you know your mommy loves attention.
10:34Yes, I'm still winning.
10:36Yay! It's my turn.
10:37Oh, take your shirt off. Take it off.
10:38Shut up, Junior.
10:39Oh, I can't wait.
10:40All right, guys, for show and tell, I brought my baby blanket. I've had it ever since I was a baby.
10:45So you got it today?
10:46Shut up, Junior.
10:48Take your shirt off.
10:49I'm not doing that. This is what I brought for show and tell.
10:52Boo!
10:54I think hers is even worse than mine, right, guys? Come on, let's boo her.
10:58Boo!
11:00All right, Penelope, take your baby blanket and go away.
11:04All right, Maria, you're next.
11:05I bet you brought something lame.
11:07Oh, yeah? It's hammer time.
11:09Hey, guys, this is my attitude hammer.
11:11I use it to smash things in my bedroom while I listen to Slayer whenever I don't understand things.
11:16Like whenever my mom heats up my kid's cuisine and the brownie's molten hot but the chicken nuggets are ice cold.
11:22Thank you, buddy. Now go back to your desk.
11:25Uh, Patrick, you're next.
11:27Okay, I'm ready.
11:29Hey, everybody, for my show and tell, I drank both bottles of Cody's Coke.
11:33You what?
11:34And now I'm going to do the biggest boob ever.
11:36Boo!
11:39Thank you, Patrick. You can go back to your desk.
11:42Okay.
11:43All right, Jeffy, you're next.
11:45Yes, it's finally my turn.
11:47Yeah, let's see this piano that makes cat noises, if it even exists.
11:51Okay, watch this.
11:53All right, guys, for show and tell, I brought my cat piano.
11:57It makes cat noises.
11:59Meow, meow, meow.
12:00And I even wrote a song.
12:02This is my show and tell project. This is my show and tell project.
12:06Very cool, Jeffy. Now go back to your desk.
12:12All right, what do you think about that?
12:14A piano that makes cat noises? I don't understand it!
12:19What are you doing? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
12:23What are you doing? Why would you break my cat piano?
12:28That thing is haunted. There's like a thousand cat souls inside it. That's how it makes the noise.
12:33I'm gonna beat you up!
12:38So, Marvin, how do you think Jeffy's show and tell went?
12:40I'm sure it went fine.
12:41It went bad! Look at this, Daddy!
12:44You broke your cat piano?
12:45I didn't break it. Old Bob the Builderass decided to lodge his hammer in my cat piano. So I beat him up.
12:52Jeffy, you beat up a classmate?
12:54I sure did, because he broke my cat piano. So please fix it, Daddy!
12:59Jeffy, I don't think I can get you another one.
13:01I need a new cat piano!
13:04I'll call the repairman.
13:06Okay.
13:07Hello?
13:08Hey, I heard you needed something fixed.
13:10Yeah, my cat got smashed.
13:12Well, I got one for you. What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
13:16What?