• il y a 2 mois
Transcription
00:00All right Kras, today we're gonna be answering the question, what color is a mirror?
00:07It's a very simple answer Kras, it's...
00:10What is that?
00:11Oh, oh, it's my phone! My phone go ring ring!
00:14Oh, and it's my wife ring ring!
00:16Coincidentally, my phone go ring ring, it's my wife ring ring.
00:19Anyway, I'm gonna answer this phone, and you guys have 10 minutes to do whatever you want.
00:23Hold on.
00:24What do you want, ring ring?
00:25Oh guys, we get to do whatever we want!
00:27Oh, I'm gonna stay.
00:28I'm gonna play on my phone.
00:29Hey Penelope, you wanna play spin the bottle?
00:32Ew, why would I wanna play that?
00:34So we can kiss?
00:35I don't wanna kiss you, Junior!
00:36Well, let's let the bottle decide.
00:38You guys are playing spin the bottle? I wanna play.
00:40I guess I'll play too.
00:41But I'm the only girl here!
00:42Shut up, I wanna kiss Junior.
00:44Wait, what?
00:45Spin the bottle.
00:46Okay.
00:50Better get them lips ready, Junior.
00:52Cody, no, we still have to spend one more time to see who you kiss.
00:55Yeah, dude, I don't wanna play this anymore if I have to kiss Cody.
00:57No, it's too late, it's already locked in. Just spin it.
00:59Okay.
01:01Please don't land on me, please don't land on me!
01:03Please land on Junior, please land on Junior!
01:05Penelope!
01:06I get to kiss Cody? At least he's hot!
01:09I have to kiss a girl? Gay?
01:12Dude, you have to do it, it's the rules!
01:14Cody, I have a crush on Penelope, please don't kiss her.
01:16It is the rules, Junior. Just make it quick.
01:24Oh god, I'm gonna throw up!
01:25I got it on video, guys!
01:26Oh, send it to me!
01:27You got it on video?
01:28I'm gonna go show Ken.
01:29No, Junior, don't show Ken!
01:31Junior, please don't show Ken, why are you doing this?
01:33You kissed the girl I like.
01:34He did, he did, dude!
01:35I didn't want to, it was spin the bottle.
01:37You could have said no.
01:38Yeah, you could have said no, you could have said no.
01:40But those are the rules, I didn't like it.
01:42Oh, you didn't like it? That kiss lasted for 30 seconds.
01:44I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up pregnant.
01:46But you can't get pregnant from kissing.
01:47Dude, your tongue was down her throat, she's definitely pregnant.
01:49Yeah, yeah, I saw your tongue in her mouth.
01:51So you know what? It's gonna be really shocking to Ken
01:53when I show him this video of you being straight.
01:56But I'm not straight, I'm as straight as a circle, that's how not straight I am.
02:01Well, Ken's gonna be really shocked when he sees this video.
02:03No, Junior, don't show him!
02:04Junior, come on, please don't show my boyfriend that video.
02:07It's too late, Cody, I'm gonna show Ken that video.
02:09No, Junior, come on, I'll do anything.
02:11Anything?
02:12Anything, yeah, just name it.
02:13Okay, make a time machine, go back in time, and stop yourself from kissing Penelope.
02:16Junior, I can't make a time machine today, that's not the point of this video.
02:20And also, we can't just make time machines whenever we have problems.
02:22Well, I guess that's your problem, Cody.
02:23No, come on, Junior, I'll do anything else.
02:25Okay, I know, I'll give you $100 not to show Ken the video.
02:28You'll give me $100 not to show Ken the video?
02:30Yeah.
02:31Okay, deal.
02:32Thank you so much, Junior.
02:33I'm gonna take a screenshot of the video and show Ken a picture of you kissing Penelope.
02:36No, Junior, that's not fair.
02:37It's not fair that you kissed Penelope and I didn't.
02:39No, Junior, come on, please, I'm on my knees for you.
02:42Ooh, I'm on my knees for you.
02:44But no, please, Junior, don't show Ken the video.
02:46Wait a minute.
02:47Ow.
02:48I got an idea.
02:49What, dude?
02:50I know what he can do.
02:51What?
02:52Stop hitting me with the money.
02:53All right, Cody, if you can get Penelope to kiss me, I'll delete the video.
02:56Okay, okay, that's not that hard.
02:57Okay, yeah, I'll call her.
02:58But you have her number?
02:59Damn, y'all might as well get married now, dude.
03:02Well, yeah, it's just sometimes we study over the phone.
03:04What?
03:05Oh, man, dude, they're already married.
03:06I can't believe you, Cody.
03:08Do you want me to call her or not?
03:09Yes, call her, but call her in front of me.
03:10I wanna hear what you say to her.
03:11Okay, fine.
03:12Okay, it's ringing.
03:13Wait, what do you have her name saved as on your phone?
03:16Princelepy.
03:17Princelepy?
03:18Ha!
03:19I thought it'd say wifey.
03:20Hi, Cody.
03:22Hey, Penelope.
03:23Why are you calling me, Cody?
03:25You want another kiss?
03:26No, no, not for me.
03:28Could you just come over to Junior's house?
03:30Ew, no, I don't wanna go over there.
03:32What if I'm here?
03:34Yeah, I'll come over.
03:36Okay, bye, queen.
03:38Yas!
03:39What?
03:40Bye, queen?
03:41So you her king, huh?
03:42No, I'm a princess.
03:43We're both princesses.
03:44Look, it's a whole thing.
03:45Whenever she comes over here, I'll tell her to kiss you, okay?
03:47What?
03:48Wow, she came fast.
03:49Wow, she comes fast for you, doesn't she, Cody?
03:51Shut up, Junior.
03:52I'll go answer the door and talk to her.
03:54Hello?
03:55Hi, Cody.
03:56Hey.
03:57So, what do you wanna do?
03:59I need you to do something for me.
04:01Okay, anything.
04:02I need you to go upstairs and kiss Junior.
04:05Ew, no, I don't wanna do that.
04:07Come on, he's blackmailing me, and the only way he'll stop is if you kiss him.
04:10Hmm, how about this?
04:11If you kiss me one more time, then I'll kiss Junior.
04:16Okay, fine, but let's make it quick.
04:18Oh, no, I want ten Mississippis.
04:20Mississippis?
04:21I don't even like Mississippi.
04:22Do you want me to help you with Junior or not?
04:24Okay, fine, let's go.
04:25Go, go, go, go, go.
04:28Is she gonna kiss me, Cody?
04:30You kissed her again, Cody?
04:32No, no, I did this for you.
04:33It was for you.
04:34How was that for me?
04:35Because now she's gonna kiss you.
04:36You're gonna kiss him, right?
04:37Oh, no, that was not ten Mississippis.
04:39Oh, come on.
04:40Ten Mississippis?
04:41Oh, dude, you're a traitor.
04:42Why'd y'all do Mississippi?
04:44That's like the longest state.
04:45Why didn't you do like Utah or Ohio?
04:47Well, I didn't even want Mississippi.
04:48What's next, the Democratic Republic of Congo?
04:50What?
04:51No, I'm gonna go show Ken.
04:52I'm showing Ken that video.
04:53No, Junior, come on.
04:54Junior, no, please, I'm sorry.
04:56No, I'm gonna go to your house and show Ken this video.
04:58No, Junior, please.
04:59No, I'm showing Ken because you're the worst friend ever.
05:01Well, I'm not even gonna let you in my house.
05:02Oh, we'll see about that.
05:04Don't you close that door, Cody.
05:06Hey!
05:08Let me in.
05:11Cody, why are you so out of breath?
05:12Yeah, is somebody chasing you, boy?
05:14No, it's just...
05:15Wait a minute.
05:16Yeah, yeah, someone's chasing me.
05:17Kidnappers!
05:18Kidnappers?
05:19Oh, no, no one's kidnapping my little boy.
05:21Tyrone, get to bed.
05:22I'm on it.
05:23No, no, no, don't answer the door.
05:24Hello?
05:25Oh, I'm gonna start swinging.
05:26Wait a minute, you're not a kidnapper.
05:28No, I'm not.
05:29Cody, that's three spankings later for lying.
05:31Boy, what I told you about lying.
05:33So what do you need?
05:34Well, I just wanted to show his doll this picture of Cody kissing a girl.
05:37Oh, my God, he kissed a girl?
05:38Yeah, right here.
05:39That's so precious.
05:40Wait, I gotta see this, I gotta see this.
05:42Oh, thank you, Jewish Jesus, thank you.
05:44My son's a man.
05:45My son like women's out here, P-I-M-P, a pimp.
05:48Oh, my God, Tyrone, a little boy's a pimp just like you.
05:51Yeah, you know it, baby.
05:52Oh, we gotta celebrate.
05:53Yeah, come on in.
05:54Okay.
05:55Hey, Cody.
05:56Junior, what are you doing here?
05:57Your parents let me in.
05:58Da-da-da-da-da.
05:59Da-da-da-da-da.
06:01What the hell is this?
06:02It's your straight cake, son.
06:04A straight cake?
06:05Yeah.
06:06For years, we've been praying and hoping that you finally realize you were straight
06:10and thank Jewish Jesus that you realized it.
06:12But I'm not straight.
06:13But I'm not straight.
06:14Cody, you kissed a girl.
06:15And you liked it.
06:16That's some Katy Perry shit.
06:17I didn't like it.
06:18It was gross.
06:19That's not the lyrics to the song, son.
06:21I'm gonna go show Ken the picture.
06:22But, guys, I gotta go.
06:23What?
06:24You don't want no more straight cake, son?
06:25More straight cake for us.
06:27I love me some straight cake.
06:28Hey, Ken, I got a picture to show you.
06:29Look.
06:30No.
06:31No, too late, Cody.
06:32He already saw it.
06:33Ken, Ken, Ken, I can explain.
06:34Okay, we were at school today, and Junior wanted to play spin the bottle, and I said yes
06:37because I wanted to kiss him because you know how that is.
06:39But the bottle landed on Penelope, so I had to kiss her.
06:41So I did it.
06:42But I didn't like it.
06:43And then Junior took a video of it, and then he said that he'd show you.
06:45So I paid him $100 not to show you, and then he said he'd show you a screenshot of the
06:49video.
06:50And so that's what you saw there.
06:51But I promise, I didn't even want to do it.
06:53I would never cheat on you unless it's with Junior because that's what we agreed on.
06:56It's too late, Cody.
06:57He already saw the photo.
06:58So look.
06:59So Cody cheated on you with a girl.
07:00Ken, you're not mad, are you?
07:02Oh, thank God.
07:03But what did he say?
07:04Ken said it's okay as long as it was just a kiss.
07:06It wasn't just a kiss.
07:07Look.
07:08They're using tongue and everything.
07:09They totally made out right there.
07:11No, no, no.
07:12I didn't use any tongue.
07:13Well, ask Ken what would happen if Penelope got pregnant from that kiss.
07:16Well, she's not pregnant.
07:17Ask Ken what would happen if Penelope got pregnant from that kiss.
07:20Okay, Ken, what would happen if Penelope got pregnant?
07:23Okay, well, he said he would never talk to me again.
07:26Junior, what are you doing?
07:27Well, I need my phone.
07:28Junior?
07:29So what are you paying me $100 for again?
07:32You're going to knock on Cody's door, and when he answers, you're going to tell him you're
07:34pregnant, and you're going to repeat everything I say in your ear pod.
07:36But why?
07:37Because.
07:38Why?
07:39Because.
07:40Just do it.
07:41You want the $100, right?
07:42Yeah, duh.
07:43Then just do it.
07:44Ken, you're not mad, are you?
07:45I'll give you back massages every night.
07:46I'd never leave you or hurt you.
07:47Wait a minute.
07:48Who's that?
07:49Hello?
07:50Penelope, what are you doing here?
07:51Say you got me pregnant.
07:52You got me pregnant.
07:53No, I didn't.
07:54Yes, you did.
07:55You kissed me so hard, you got me pregnant.
07:57Yes, you did.
07:58You kissed me so hard, you got me pregnant.
08:00That's impossible.
08:01No, it's not.
08:02The scientists announced on the news today that kissing can get you pregnant.
08:05No.
08:06The scientists on the news today announced that kissing can get you pregnant.
08:09What?
08:10Okay, look.
08:11I'm going to have to see a pregnancy test before I even believe this.
08:13Well, I threw it away because I was so mad.
08:15I threw it away because I was so mad.
08:17Okay, just do another one.
08:19Chef Pipi, I'm not hungry right now.
08:21Chef Pipi, I'm not hungry right now.
08:24Wait a minute.
08:25Is Junior telling you what to say?
08:26No.
08:27Your mom was telling me what to say last night.
08:28No.
08:29Your mom was telling me what to say last night.
08:31What?
08:32Cody, who's at the door?
08:33Oh my God, it's the girl you kissed.
08:35Tyrone, get in here.
08:36Cody's girlfriend's here.
08:37What?
08:38What?
08:39No, wait.
08:40I got to see Cody's girlfriend.
08:41Oh, it's a white girl.
08:42Cha-ching, cha-ching.
08:43My son hit the jackpot.
08:44Come on in.
08:45We're celebrating.
08:46Let's have some cake.
08:47Okay.
08:48Come in.
08:49Come in.
08:50So, what's your name, sweetheart?
08:51Penelope.
08:52Oh, that was my grandmother's name.
08:53That was my ex-wife's name.
08:54Penelope.
08:55Man, she had the biggest can.
08:56She did.
08:57He cheated on me with it twice.
08:58Actually, three times, baby.
08:59But who's counting?
09:00I didn't know about the third time.
09:01Uh, what kind of cake is this?
09:02Oh, it's straight cake.
09:03You never had no straight cake before?
09:04Yeah, it's straight cake.
09:05Straight cake.
09:06What's straight cake?
09:07It's some shit that they made up.
09:08No, no, no.
09:09You like wars, don't you?
09:10Yeah.
09:11So take a bite.
09:12Penelope, go in the room and tell Ken you're pregnant.
09:13Um, I have to go to the bathroom.
09:14Oh, wait a minute.
09:15He's straight.
09:16He's straight.
09:17He's straight.
09:18He's straight.
09:19He's straight.
09:20He's straight.
09:21He's straight.
09:22He's straight.
09:23He's straight.
09:24He's straight.
09:25He's straight.
09:26He's straight.
09:27He's straight.
09:28Oh, wait a minute.
09:29He's straight.
09:30He's straight.
09:31He's straight.
09:32He's straight.
09:33He's straight.
09:34He's straight.
09:35He's straight.
09:36He's straight.
09:37He's straight.
09:38He's straight.
09:39He's straight.
09:40He's go fine.
09:41He's straight.
09:42He's straight.
09:43He's straight.
09:44OK, so what am I supposed to do?
09:45Tell Ken that you're pregnant.
09:46He should be laying on the bed.
09:47The doll?
09:48Yes, the doll.
09:49Tell the doll you're pregnant.
09:50Uugh!
09:51I'm pregnant.
09:52No!
09:53Don't listen to her!
09:54She's lying!
09:55What the fuck is going on here?
09:56Penelope, why would you say that?
09:57Je ne vois pas ce qui est confus sur tout ça.
09:58Cody, qu'est-ce qu'on dit sur la fermeture de ta porte ?
10:02Oh mon dieu !
10:03Tyrone, viens ici ! Cody est en chambre avec sa copine !
10:07Attendez, attendez ! Je dois voir ça !
10:09Oh mon dieu !
10:10Mon garçon est un pimp !
10:11Tu vois ça, bébé ?
10:12Il a skippé toutes les bases, il va directement pour la course !
10:15Ok, on va te laisser deux petits chiens de corneaux seul,
10:17pour que tu puisses boink !
10:18Ouais, fais ton boink, vieux garçon !
10:20Juste nous dire si tu as besoin de quoi que ce soit,
10:21comme des Teddy Grahams ou des Capri Suns,
10:23ou quoi que ce soit que tes enfants folles sont en train de faire.
10:25Ouais...
10:26Hum, qu'est-ce que c'était ?
10:28Mes parents sont un peu stupides...
10:30Ok, alors je vais rentrer à la maison maintenant et dépenser mes 100$.
10:34Tu ne vas pas dépenser tes 100$, tu dois les remettre, tu n'as pas fait ce que je t'ai dit !
10:36Et je vais prendre cet ouvrage maintenant.
10:38Tu ne peux pas faire ça, je t'occupe !
10:39Euh, avant de partir,
10:41peux-tu m'expliquer à mes parents que je ne suis pas droite ?
10:43Ouais, bien sûr.
10:44Mmh, mmh, mmh, c'est KT Straight !
10:46Mmh, mmh...
10:47Maman, père ?
10:49Oh, Cody, tu as déjà fait ça ?
10:51Il n'a pas appris ça de son père.
10:52Donne-lui une pause, Tyrone, c'est sa première fois avec une fille.
10:55Ouais, ouais...
10:56Non, les gars, moi et Penelope, on a quelque chose à te dire.
10:59Oh mon dieu...
11:00Attends, il s'est marié !
11:01Je le savais, je le savais !
11:03Je suppose que ce n'était pas si mal que tu veux le marier,
11:05après la première fois !
11:07Il a appris ça de son père.
11:09C'est pas vrai, hein ?
11:10C'est pas vrai, bébé ?
11:10Ouais, je te l'avais fait, n'est-ce pas ?
11:12Ouais, tu l'as fait.
11:13Oh, je ne peux pas attendre qu'il y ait un petit Cody qui s'en va !
11:16Je vais être un grand-père, les gars !
11:17Non, les gars, je ne suis pas droite.
11:19Mais qu'est-ce qu'il y a de la fille, Cody ?
11:21Ouais, tu avais une fille dans ton lit, mon fils,
11:23et elle veut te marier, après la première fois !
11:25Regarde, tu fais quelque chose avec ton pote !
11:27Penelope, peux-tu juste lui dire ?
11:29Pas de détails, s'il te plaît.
11:31Ton fils...
11:32Il t'a fait tomber, héhéhé !
11:34...aime les garçons.
11:37Mets le cake en direct !
11:38Mais, mais père, je...
11:39METS LE CAKE EN DIRECT !
11:41C'est un déchet de cake en direct, Cody.
11:42Il y a des enfants en direct en Afrique qui aimeraient avoir ce cake.
11:46Regarde, je suis déçu de toi, Cody !
11:47Maintenant, je dois aller chercher le fruitcake !
11:49Regarde, Cody, on t'aime, peu importe ce que ce soit,
11:51mais ce cake en direct, c'était 25 dollars à Wal-Mart,
11:54alors qu'est-ce qui s'est passé ?