El Presidente | Stool Scenes
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00:00Welcome.
00:30How are you feeling today?
00:46Um, not great.
00:49It's a shitty place with shitty people.
00:51You think Dave's going to be rough on you today?
00:53I don't care.
00:55Dave isn't really capable of being rough on anybody.
00:57He'll probably wear that stupid ass King's outfit.
01:07What do you plan on wearing?
01:10I'm not going to dress up just because we're in Michigan or Texas or whatever.
01:14I'm just going to wear what I always wear.
01:16Here's your cowboy hat, Brandon.
01:17Thanks.
01:21Might be on backwards.
01:23Prediction for the game today?
01:25Uh, Texas by a trillion.
01:56You know what we need?
01:58What do they actually cut?
02:00A clapboard.
02:02782, Brandon Walker trying to beat Michigan.
02:05This is the second time.
02:09The second time, maybe the third time.
02:11Have you ever worn a cowboy hat before?
02:14No, it doesn't fit.
02:16It doesn't look right on you.
02:18It doesn't look right on me.
02:20The teacher walking in every day, like the same exact way.
02:23He just needs that, like Ohio State, Texas.
02:26Is it different?
02:28I'll get you this time.
02:38He boomed you, Dave.
02:40He gave you an instant boom.
02:41Come on.
02:43He gave you an instant boom.
02:44Instant boom.
02:46He saw your face and boom.
02:49That's what he said.
02:51Boom.
02:52That was some pathetic shit.
02:54You're telling me the guy stopped from Zoltan, Ibrahimovic, or however you say his name, but he can't stop Big Justice?
03:04I'm not hearing that.
03:06This is what you do.
03:07When you have somebody down, you stop them.
03:12That's me.
03:14Blind Mike.
03:15Unbelievable.
03:17Come on, this is too easy.
03:19This is like taking candy from a baby.
03:21I went through a streak.
03:22I was taking Blind Mike to different athletic events, just to pound him.
03:28I'll say we'll have to live with that.
03:31I'm just saying, the kid boomed you.
03:34He's a Dave Portnoy fan.
03:36That kid, I would have been like, what the fuck are you doing?
03:39I'm not one of those kids you rush into the end zone with the whole team.
03:43Oh, hey.
03:44Here he is.
03:46Again, same thing.
03:49You and Buckeye Brandon.
03:53I got to get the directors for it.
03:55Just snap it.
03:56Big Ev, Buckeye Brandon, take 78 trying to beat Michigan.
04:01Big Ricky Williams, man.
04:02That's all.
04:03You think they're going to win today?
04:05I think it's a close game.
04:07He likes Michigan.
04:08Did you bet him?
04:09No.
04:10I think it's a close game.
04:12You won't bet on Michigan?
04:14I can't tell if he bet on Michigan.
04:17I didn't even say that.
04:19No, no.
04:23I can't tell if it's your disease or your.
04:27Disease is pretty much gone.
04:28We're probably about 95% back.
04:31What's the name of that thing again?
04:33Belts Polo.
04:34That's why I respect you more than Tate, because Tate would have ate that up like this.
04:39You say he cheats.
04:41You wouldn't have caught onto that, Tate.
04:43I said he's launching nukes at like two seconds.
04:46It's like the war just started.
04:48In war, there's battles that lead up to the big battle in the war.
04:52You can't just like hit the nuke button like minute one.
04:55He also is, I think, generally like a psychopath.
04:57Like he's.
04:59Maybe.
05:01I don't even know where he's from.
05:03When he presents, it's normal.
05:04Yeah, but he's like.
05:05I don't know where he was getting clips from in real time of Stallion's high school games.
05:12He's thorough.
05:13He definitely is thorough.
05:15He was convinced that Michigan.
05:17The Michigan guy.
05:18Yeah, I know.
05:19Yeah.
05:20But I like folks.
05:21I'm convinced they did the promo a little bit.
05:23The promo was pretty like.
05:25It was us losing to Illinois.
05:26I love that shit.
05:27It was like, come on.
05:28He wrote that blog and I just replied.
05:30We're going to smack you in November.
05:32He's like, you attacked my family.
05:34You like don't care.
05:35You talk about me.
05:36It's like, let me chill out.
05:38It's fucking August.
05:43This is the plan.
05:44Thank you guys.
05:45This is Spider-Man.
05:46Cowboy hat.
05:47In the same house again.
05:48Cowboy hat, really?
05:50Come on, man.
05:51We have a deal with 47.
05:52You're going to find one.
05:53That's a 47 cowboy hat.
05:54Is it?
05:55Actually?
05:56Yeah.
05:57I thought I thought about that.
05:58They don't make cowboy hats.
05:59It's clear you guys are still defeated.
06:02Like you don't have the same energy as you did.
06:06I'm going to walk out there.
06:07No, at the beginning.
06:08This is about Texas today.
06:09Yeah.
06:10But it's not the same energy that you guys brought.
06:14I mean, it's not my team.
06:16Obviously, I'm not going to be as fired up for an Ohio State game.
06:19If we win, we're in the playoffs.
06:20No, it's a big game.
06:21It's definitely a big game.
06:23Don't do it, Brandon.
06:24Don't do it.
06:25Don't do what?
06:26I saw your face.
06:27You wanted to argue about that.
06:28Just don't.
06:29Oh, it's delusional.
06:30If they win, that they're in?
06:32I'd say.
06:33There's still some teams I'm scheduled to give them fits.
06:35Yeah, no, but you'll have a lot more room forever.
06:38Sure, but you're not in.
06:39No, I think they're in.
06:40Do you guys play Penn State this year?
06:41No.
06:42They do not?
06:43No.
06:44You can look.
06:45They play USC.
06:46USC at home, so that's a win.
06:48Washington on the road.
06:50I don't know how Washington's doing.
06:51Washington's terrible.
06:52Washington's terrible.
06:53Oregon's at home.
06:56That's a win.
06:57So, at Ohio State, that is a win.
07:00So, I don't see any tough games.
07:03Yeah, if you go 12-0, you're in the playoff.
07:05I would agree with that.
07:06I'd like to be able to fight in the ring without my corner man hitting me in the back of the fucking hand.
07:10Your corner man hates the jersey you're wearing.
07:14It's my rival.
07:15In SEC, I mean, we've played.
07:17We beat Alabama with one foot in the grave.
07:19They say they even have one foot in the grave.
07:20The SEC champions.
07:21Barely.
07:22If Georgia had gotten there.
07:24Oh, man.
07:25Man.
07:26Man.
07:27Well, then, win your conference, and they'd be there.
07:30Our coach died.
07:33He didn't even like you.
07:36He did like me.
07:37That's not even fucking true.
07:38Mike Leach liked me.
07:40Yes, he did.
07:41Man.
07:42He used you as a pass-through to get to me.
07:45He asked me for your number, and I passed it along.
07:47That doesn't indicate he doesn't like me.
07:49He said, what's Dave's number?
07:51I said, here.
07:52And then we text, and he does not like you.
07:54You show me a text where Mike Leach said he didn't like me.
07:57I don't have the phone.
07:58I bet you don't.
07:59I bet you don't, because I still got Mike Leach's text on my phone.
08:02You texted once for what's Dave's phone number?
08:06No, he asked me that first.
08:08Yeah, put the hat on.
08:09A lot of Texas fans in Ann Arbor.
08:13Welcome.
08:17Whoever Michigan plays.
08:19Oh, so not Texas.
08:21It's whoever.
08:22It's whoever.
08:23Anyone but Michigan.
08:24I don't know what the problem is.
08:26And now we're going on.
08:27Three years have been waiting for us to lose, so.
08:30Well, we'll see how it goes today.
08:32There's a few more hours.
08:34Yeah, we'll see.
08:36Michigan could be playing Iran.
08:38Yeah.
08:39It's a little chic.
08:45So this is Congresswoman's mother, and she saw me.
08:49No, no, she saw me and started crying because she was so happy that I was.
08:52It's beautiful.
08:53It's a family.
08:54No, it isn't.
08:55No, it isn't.
08:56You don't get it.
08:57No, I get it.
08:58I got four kids.
08:59I got four kids.
09:00You don't get it.
09:01You got four kids.
09:02How do you not get it?
09:03Because I.
09:04By the way, I got to tell you something.
09:05Yeah.
09:06Hey, dude.
09:07I love it.
09:08Was it really?
09:09Yes.
09:10All right.
09:11All right.
09:12What was that?
09:13He told me that it was the most ridiculous video ever.
09:15It was the most ridiculous video that's ever been put on the air.
09:18Oh, my God.
09:19He did it for his mom?
09:20He did it for his mom.
09:22It's not wrong.
09:23I can't believe I'm about to say that a Connor Stallions football documentary made me cry,
09:28but it did.
09:29And it's not because I was so excited that I'm on it.
09:31Dave's obviously in it a million times to Barstow College football show.
09:34It's because this man did it all for the love of his mother.
09:37He did it for the M on his chest.
09:39He did it for his mom.
09:40She saved me with that video.
09:43He doesn't understand mom and the M on his chest are all the same.
09:47All right.
09:48All right.
09:49This bullshit is too deep.
09:50It's too deep.
09:51They have no idea what it means to grow up in a program.
09:53No.
09:54I said that if my son wants to do it for A&M, I'd be totally okay.
09:58I'll take it now.
09:59A hundred percent.
10:01I'll take it.
10:02Never going to get one otherwise.
10:03Might as well.
10:04My attorney's in A&M.
10:07Bad people.
10:08Just bad people.
10:09I let them in our house.
10:11Talk about attorneys.
10:12You know who usually need attorneys?
10:14Bad people that do bad things.
10:17Just saying.
10:18Beautiful.
10:19You gotta get out of here.
10:20You gotta get ready.
10:23Honestly, it was like very emotional.
10:28It was.
10:33College football shows back.
10:35Back in Ann Arbor.
10:37We've been here several times, so it's always good to be back.
10:40Did you hear this?
10:41Iwate.
10:42Yeah, yeah.
10:43Pick them out.
10:44Iwate.
10:45Here comes Lord Farquaad.
10:46How long is he going to make us wait?
10:58Are you allowed in here?
10:59I'm in.
11:01Are you really?
11:02Let's fucking go, dude.
11:17That's my people.
11:18We have a very special guest to join us on stage, and it is the one and only Conor Stallions.
11:27Conor Stallions!
11:33I mean, Brandon, you just saw this man walk in the house and turned back around and walked out.
11:39I'm a Stallion.
11:40In the building.
11:41I'm a Stallion, baby.
11:42Oh, that's nice.
11:43That's nice.
11:45Fuck you, Brandon!
11:53You were saying something about a text you received.
11:55You were saying a text?
11:57I think there was a video.
11:58Fortnoy?
11:59Or White Sox?
12:00Williams.
12:02So we just got in the car and left the show, and we were on the show five minutes ago, and Dave texted me a clip from the show of him patting my head and making me look stupid.
12:13And then he said, oh, Iwate, wrong guy.
12:17So funny.
12:18Iwate, wrong guy.
12:19He probably has a lot of Brandon Walkers in his phone.
12:23I mean, we don't know if he has last names.
12:25It could have just been Brandon.
12:26I don't know.
12:27He knows a lot of Brandons.
12:30You're saying my name with an E, Dan.
12:32I said Brandon Walker.
12:33Yeah, right.
12:34You are.
12:35You're saying it with an E, and it's with an A.
12:36Well, at least he didn't text you the clip of everyone chanting Brandon has a mangina.
12:39I don't think we got that clip.
12:41That was tough.
12:42I got it.
12:43I'll accidentally send it to you right now.
12:48Wait, Brandon's got a mangina.
12:50Brandon's got a mangina.
12:51They're cheering.
12:52They're chanting Brandon has a mangina.
12:55But I don't...
12:56Hold on, Dan.
12:57This is important.
12:58I don't have a mangina.
13:00I don't know that.
13:01I...
13:02Have...
13:03I've never seen penises.
13:04Have we never seen penises?
13:05I've never seen a penis.
13:07We gotta get on that.