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Video Information: 14.06.2023, Gita Samagam, Greater Noida

Context:

What does it mean to be wise?
Who is a wise man?
What is the difference between a wise man and an unwise man?
Whom should we respect?
Why do people weep?

Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~

Category

📚
Learning
Transcript
00:00Sir, wise and unwise men are both related to the world. On the periphery, both wise
00:14and unwise persons' attitude towards the external circumstances appear to be same. Wise men
00:22will also moan, unwise men will also moan, and so on and so forth. These all look to
00:27be quite similar in nature. But wise man is moaning because he is going away from the
00:38path of liberation and otherwise for the unwise man. But in today's world, what I see is unwise
00:48person seems to be making a lot of these arguments which otherwise suit a wise person, similar
00:55to what Arjuna has been doing. And on the contrary, these people are revered more as
01:02opposed to a wise person in the world today. And it appears to me as quite unfortunate
01:08because that's not the way we look at it from today's world. So I just wanted to have your
01:15view on this, sir.
01:19What's the wrong relationship that the world is choosing to have with an unwise man? If you are to respect, you have to respect someone who is wise and who can bring his wisdom to your use.
01:34Instead, if you choose to have a relationship of respect with someone who is himself unwise, obviously he can be of no use to you.
01:43So again, it's a failure of relationship. Something is misplaced. Respect is something that has to be placed at the right point.
01:54Similarly, lack of respect or withdrawal of respect again is of tremendous importance.
02:04It is impossible to respect something very useful and also respect something very useless.
02:15Respect is not something universal. To respect is to admit that there is something there worthy of absorption, something there I can look up to.
02:30And if you respect just about everything, then you are absorbing a lot of trash.
02:42So respect has to be exclusive, selective. It has to be an act of distinction. It has to be an act of exception.
02:58It cannot be something by default. If only the exceptional one is to be respected, then respect has to be an act of exception making.
03:14I have made an exception by respecting you. Respect is not something that I just throw about like crumbs to dogs.
03:28You have to know the right relationship with everything.
03:40Even in case of mourning for living or dead, as what is explained in today's verse,
03:47mourning seems to be revered in today's world.
03:54People who are mourning seem to get a lot of sympathy as opposed to having a wise man telling them,
04:02this is not the one that you should be mourning for because that person living or dead is not taking you to work.
04:10It is assumed that the mourner knows his mind.
04:18It is assumed that if a person is weeping, he knows that he has indeed lost something of substance and value.
04:27It is assumed and it's a huge assumption.
04:33I find you weeping. I come to you with consolations.
04:40Not words of realization but words of consolation.
04:45What is my assumption?
04:47My assumption is that first of all you have indeed lost something.
04:52I am saying that's a huge assumption.
04:54Most people who are weeping are weeping for nothing.
05:01That which they are weeping for has little value.
05:08That which they are not weeping for is everything and they do not know of its loss.
05:19That's why compassion and consolation are so different.
05:28Sympathy and empathy are very different.
05:32When you are compassionate, first of all you know where the person stands.
05:43In compassion you never allow yourself to feel as if something really substantial has been lost.
05:55If nothing substantial has been lost, what then is compassion for?
06:01Compassion is to display to the person that he has actually not lost much.
06:08In consolation, you consolidate his belief that he has indeed lost something.
06:16You tell him, may God give you the power to bear the great loss.
06:27Is that not a typical statement of consolation?
06:32May God give the bereaved family to bear the irreparable loss.
06:42What have you told him?
06:46The loss is unreal.
06:49We do not claim to assert that the loss is unreal.
06:55We are just using this example to bring out the nature of the consolation process.
07:02In consolation, the first assumption is that the fellow is indeed wise.
07:07If he is weeping, then he does have a genuine reason to shed tears.
07:13That's a huge assumption.
07:17The wise one has compassion, not consolation.
07:26In compassion, first of all you see what is it that deserves to be loved, what is it that deserves to be ignored.
07:35And gently, you want to bring the same realization to the other.
07:47Son, you are weeping for something that must not be wept for.
08:00Son, there are other things that you must rather be worried about.
08:06You are totally ignoring them in your melancholy mood.
08:16Hmm?
08:30The new car has been stolen.
08:33The new car has been stolen.
08:38The fellow is absolutely disconsolate.
08:41Why?
08:45Why?
08:48He had forgotten his hairband in the car.
08:57You have no measure of what deserves to be wept for.
09:05I had left my shades in the car.
09:13That's mentioned even in the FIR.
09:17The FIR says my shades have been stolen.
09:21Incidentally they were in a car, a newly bought car.
09:29It's alright to weep.
09:32But after having a real assessment of the loss, you are weeping for something that's of so little value.
09:44Shades, bands, wristbands, toothbrush.
09:53I don't think somebody forgets toothbrush in the car.
09:58Socks.
10:10And you have no feeling for the real thing, for the big thing that you are losing.
10:19The saint will not say do not cry. He will say cry for the right reason.
10:28Cry you must, but for the right reason.
10:33Your problem is pettiness. Your problem is misplaced attention.
10:39You have been crying horse for an hour.
10:43Continue for another two.
10:47I am not here to stop you.
10:51But cry for the right reason.
10:58If the reason is right, come on, kill me.
11:02The reason, right reason.
11:05If the reason is right, come on, kill me.
11:08Even that is acceptable.
11:11If the reason is right, everything is acceptable.
11:16They say all is fair in love and war. No.
11:21All is fair in the process of realization, liberation.
11:31Yes.
11:37So, as you mentioned, the wise man simply sees and being attentive to the situation.
11:46So, does that mean that if a person is observing the current situation, whatever it is, without being consumed or attached with the consequences or whatsoever.
12:01Can he afford to smile as what Krishna has been doing while listening to Arjuna's illogical statements?
12:11You observe a situation so that you can know your right relationship with it.
12:19You are not yet liberated.
12:21If you are not yet liberated, you need relationships.
12:25Krishna can afford to coolly smile. You cannot.
12:31Krishna stands truly detached whereas we are in the process.
12:38We have not yet arrived.
12:41So, do not just try to emulate Krishna.
12:47Krishna is not there to fight.
12:52Mind the symbolism.
12:56Arjuna has to fight.
12:58Krishna can at most tell the right thing to Arjuna.
13:05But the participation, the engagement has to be Arjuna's.
13:12Krishna is not going to get engaged or entangled.
13:16Krishna being a charioteer is a very potent symbol. Please understand.
13:25You are Arjuna, not Krishna.
13:29When I teach Gita, do I say that first of all you must understand that you are Krishna?
13:34What do I emphasize on?
13:37Please see your identity with Arjuna.
13:42Arjuna has to dispassionately observe to know the right relationship.
13:49As far as Krishna is concerned, there is hardly any relationship.
13:53Arjuna's position is of greater use to us because we are like Arjuna.
14:06So, when it comes to Arjuna, remember, there has to be a relationship.
14:11You have to go through the whole thing.
14:16You have to navigate through the entire spectrum of relationships.
14:20You will have to see sadness, you will have to see closeness,
14:26you will have to see coming together and then falling out,
14:37and patch-ups and break-ups and affiliations and disillusionments.
14:45You will have to go through the entire spectrum.
14:51You are not Krishna.
14:57Your job is to know how to navigate.
15:05You cannot say you are at the destination, therefore you don't need to navigate.
15:10You do need to navigate. You are not at the destination.
15:14To navigate, you must know your relationship with every turn, every bend,
15:21every signal, every symbol and every part of your vehicle and your body.
15:30You must know everything. You have a relationship with everything.
15:34Spirituality is not about bringing an end to relationships.
15:41It's about having the right thing.
15:46So, that classical faded image of the spiritual man just dispassionately
15:57watching everything with a smile is not very useful.
16:03What smile? You are supposed to laugh, you are supposed to cry,
16:08you are supposed to burn in anger and envy,
16:12you are supposed to dance,
16:18you are supposed to put yourself together and you are also supposed to break down.
16:24You are supposed to experience every bit of it.
16:33Are you getting it?
16:36Yes, sir.
16:38You are in the right relationship with the sole objective of knowing,
16:48realization, liberation, call it whatever.
16:54If someone says I am a wise man, I am a spiritual man,
16:58therefore I never experience whatever.
17:02Fraudster.
17:08Fraud.
17:10Even Krishna gets angry and you say you are a spiritual man, so you never get angry.
17:15Imposter.
17:18Actor.
17:20That too a bad one.
17:32I am a spiritual man, I have never, never, never experienced lust.
17:37You are not a spiritual man, you are just important.
17:52You have to go through everything.
17:55In that lies the possibility and in that lies the challenge.
18:05Sir, based on the relationship that I carry with the Prakriti,
18:13the relation should be something which should take me towards liberation
18:17as opposed to the other way wherein I get too much consumed with,
18:21you know, the objects of Prakriti which is taking me away from Atma or liberation.
18:27So, sir, my question was that often at times when we have these relationships
18:35and we kind of make use of it to go to the liberation,
18:40we can seemingly use something which could be of, you know,
18:47godly nature, for example, worshipping the gods, etc.
18:52and then we get too much consumed with that which actually in a process
18:57makes us a little go off track towards the path of liberation and to reach to Atma.
19:04But even though worshipping God seems to be the object in the Prakriti itself
19:11which on the periphery it appears that it may lead me to the ultimate liberation.
19:19That's possible not just with worship of a deity but with respect to anything that you choose.
19:29It could be a food item, it could be money, it could be a person, anything.
19:35Your love must constantly reverberate within.
19:44Even as you are looking at the one in front of you,
19:50you must remember the one in the middle of you.
20:04You are not looking at that one, the one in front, just to keep gawking.
20:17You are looking at that one
20:25so that something within can materialize.
20:41He is a means.
20:47To be used.
20:54It could be an idol, it could be knowledge, it could be money.
21:03Doesn't matter what it is.
21:11It puzzled me for a while.
21:17I read this story when I was very young.
21:25There is this fellow, teacher, a guide, something,
21:34who gets stranded on an island
21:40with a few of his disciples.
21:47What to do? How to survive?
21:55Initially, he forbids them from eating anything.
22:02He says, you will not eat anything.
22:06And the challenge is survival.
22:10And they are all capable disciples.
22:14He forbids them from eating anything.
22:17And himself, he eats.
22:20He keeps eating and he says, none of you will eat anything.
22:27And very actively, he and the mentees, they all look for ways to escape.
22:39And then they do discover some way to escape.
22:47But it turns out that the escape will take a few more days or a few more weeks, something.
22:59And their resources won't last that long, the food that is.
23:09So now he has just kept the entire team on fasting, just emaciated them.
23:23And he has himself been eating.
23:26So he has maintained his weight or rather gained some weight.
23:30And now he tells his chaps, eat me.
23:35Eat me.
23:37He tells them, you kill me and eat me.
23:42And now you have been doubly helped.
23:45Because you have been kept on fasting for so long, therefore,
23:51your urge to eat has been reduced.
23:54You have learnt to survive on very little.
23:57You do not need much.
24:00You do not need much.
24:02And myself, I have all the food and now that when I will be gone, this body will be of help to you.
24:10I found this quite strange.
24:13I was a kid.
24:15But I got the idea.
24:20The real thing is about being of use.
24:27I must be of use in my death.
24:33And if I can be of use to you only by dying, I will die.
24:45And it's not that I am saving you just because it's a moral virtue or something.
24:52You guys deserve to be saved.
24:55You are young, bright students who have life in front of them.
25:01I am graying and aging.
25:06So even if I live, I will live for a few more years and I will anyway be down to ashes.
25:12So you consume my body so that you can survive.
25:19So the entire narrative had two different parts.
25:22One, where it appeared that the teacher is actually being cruel.
25:26Because he is eating all the stuff himself and he is keeping the others on a very major diet.
25:34You will not eat anything.
25:36And then one day he says, fine, now you have learnt to survive on nothing.
25:41Now you can eat me.
25:46Who will call this entire interaction as one of love?
25:51For us, love is roses and candies and choco boxes.
26:03Your cheeks are so soft.
26:06This is love.
26:09Here is my flesh. Eat it.
26:11Jesus said, my blood will be your wine.
26:14My flesh will be your bread.
26:42So that usefulness has to be remembered.
26:47It's a different way of looking at yourself and the other and the relationship.
26:53And if you can learn this way, you will go far.
26:58Thank you, sir.
27:11Thank you, sir.

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