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00:00That's quite impressive. I'm like a wizard.
00:03Oh, how do you do it? Don't hold the stem high up.
00:05Have some decorum about yourself. How long? A drink's long.
00:07Yeah, maybe too much in your glass.
00:11Will you stop doing it like that? Look at me.
00:14How are you doing that?
00:19It's too... It's too dry.
00:21The white wine's too dry.
00:23God, that's pathetic.
00:25MUSIC PLAYS
00:30Oh! Oh, be gently!
00:33Aw!
00:37Stop asking why and just move!
00:39LAUGHTER
00:41Jesus.
00:42He's not... So it must be true.
00:44Oh, no, leave him alone, leave him alone.
00:46Get adventurous, baby.
00:48Take him a bit emotional.
00:51It's brilliant. It's stupid. It's savage.
00:53MUSIC CONTINUES
01:00In the week when Dublin's Inchicore was named
01:02the 25th coolest neighbourhood in the world,
01:06we watched loads of great telly.
01:09On Tuesday, Channel 4 whisked us off to the jungle
01:13to test our survival skills.
01:15We'd be brilliant on something like that. Would we?
01:17Well, we'd kill each other, but what an experience, like.
01:20Ah!
01:23Virgin Media One started our day with some Namaste on Wednesday morning.
01:28The great hero.
01:30Don't fall in love with me.
01:33And on Friday, Netflix took us on a moving road trip
01:37with a Hollywood A-lister.
01:38Careful, not funny, you. Oh, he's brilliant, isn't he?
01:41About a year and a half ago, I transitioned,
01:43and now Will wants to kind of go out in the middle of the country with me.
01:47Ah, that's lovely, see?
01:49Would you do that for me? No.
01:55In Tipperary...
01:56Will I get an ice cream?
01:57Fuck it, I don't want him now. I know.
01:59..Anastasia and her dad, Noam.
02:02The wafer, no, I'm not.
02:03No, no, see, you've ruined it now with the wafer.
02:06I haven't. You just need scoops of ice cream,
02:08a rake of, like, toffee sauce... Mm.
02:11..and a couple of flakes.
02:13Two flakes, yeah.
02:15And, like, crumple them up, though.
02:16Oh, yeah, break them up. Yeah.
02:18And then, like, drizzle it in strawberry syrup or something.
02:22Or salt caramel.
02:23Oh, jeez, that'd be beautiful.
02:25On Saturday, we caught up with the first in the new series
02:29of a returning Channel 4 favourite.
02:34Is this the bake-off?
02:37For Jesus' sake.
02:39I love bake-off. I love it so much.
02:44Ah! I didn't even know it was back!
02:47It's Cake Week, and after three challenges,
02:50one of our new batch of bakers will be crown star baker.
02:54The only thing that turns me off, Paul Hollywood,
02:55he's not very tall.
02:58But, then again, we're all the one length lying down, aren't we?
03:00Today, our lovely judges would love you to make
03:03a hyper-realistic illusion cake.
03:06What would you make?
03:08A whole sculpture of Swanson humping my leg.
03:13On your marks... Get set...
03:15..bake!
03:16If I was to pick what my favourite one of your things
03:20that you bake is, it's cheesecake.
03:21Even though you don't bake it, you just set it in the fridge, but...
03:24That's baking your cheeky bit.
03:26Georgie, tell us all about your showstopper.
03:28I'm actually making my chicken.
03:32It's called Fanny.
03:33What? She's baking her Fanny!
03:35SHE LAUGHS
03:38Fanny will be filled with lemon curd made using her own special eggs.
03:42How could you have a Fanny cake?
03:44Dad, stop.
03:46My cake is my pet duck.
03:49Oh, look! What a lovely Fanny!
03:52Oh, that's a duck!
03:54SHE MAKES DUCK NOISES
03:56This is tequila and lime curd.
03:58Me and my best friends always go for brunch out in the city.
04:01We end up having a few too many margaritas
04:04and then spending so much money that we haven't got buying clothes.
04:07So I am making a pair of jeans.
04:09He spends so much money on booze, he can't afford clothes.
04:11That was my life in college.
04:13Bakers, you are halfway through!
04:17A sponge for Fanny.
04:20Georgie's favourite chicken is finally out of the oven.
04:23I'm really behind. I was hoping to finish your feathers by now.
04:26What is that? They're her feathers.
04:28And what's it made of? Icing, I'd say, is it?
04:31What the fuck is that?
04:32Oh, God. How's Fanny?
04:34She's looking a bit demented and deformed.
04:36Oh, God, your Fanny looks miserable!
04:40So we're going, like, a summery, light blue.
04:43Sunglasses on. Oh, wow, look at that!
04:46I don't like how she's making a duck
04:48and he's just making foul-lid jeans.
04:51Cos that's just a square.
04:52Bakers, that is the end of your showstopper.
04:56Step away from your bakes.
04:59That is savage.
05:01First showstopper, done.
05:03That looks literally like a duck.
05:06Look at that! Wow!
05:07That's insane. That's good. OK.
05:09Wow! Great job.
05:11Oh, I love the wood.
05:12And the wood is cake, too.
05:14Yeah, I know.
05:15That's crazy.
05:18It's time to judge the showstopping hyperillusion cakes.
05:22There's competition here now.
05:24Samaya, bring your showstopper to the judges.
05:27The battle of the boards. I know.
05:32That's very good, isn't it? That's so deadly.
05:34It's very realistic.
05:35The detail on it, the feathers, the eyes, the beak, it's just fantastic.
05:39Don't touch him!
05:40So they're going to have to cut him? Oh, yeah.
05:42Imagine if they cut into it and it, like, quacked.
05:44Glove squirted in Prune's eye.
05:48Very good.
05:49It's an orange cake with a Swiss meringue buttercream,
05:51which I've put a bit of orange zest.
05:53The shopper tastes nice now.
05:54Imagine they're like, it looks lovely, it tastes like shit.
05:57It tastes like joke.
05:58I love the flavours.
05:59Swiss buttercream, smooth, strawberries, delicious, nice cake.
06:03Terrific job. Really wonderful.
06:05Thank you so much.
06:06I love that, now I'm going to tear.
06:10Now, they look cool.
06:11I think it's really amazing.
06:13I think it's really amusing and I think you've got some of the detail
06:16really beautifully.
06:17So cool.
06:19Well detailed.
06:20This is coconut sponge filled with a margarita curd.
06:23Coconut. Ooh.
06:25That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
06:26Bounties.
06:27You've managed to get that margarita flavour through there,
06:29which is delicious.
06:30That's a really well executed cake.
06:33Oh, I'd fucking ease into that now.
06:38The cock.
06:39Did you kill the cock?
06:43She's a slightly odd shape.
06:45Yeah.
06:46But I think she's lovely.
06:47It's like a chicken that was run over by a cow.
06:50How does fanny taste, guys?
06:52LAUGHTER
06:53Yeah, they're really creamy.
06:56Creamy fanny!
06:57LAUGHTER
06:59Flavour I really like, that lemon lightness.
07:03Oh, God.
07:04Your fanny's leaking.
07:06Looks like it has sepsis, doesn't it?
07:08We watched as the famous White Tent prepared to crown
07:11its first Starbaker of the series.
07:15Who's going to win?
07:17I'd say the duck has it.
07:18This week's Starbaker is...
07:20It has to be your one with the duck.
07:22Yeah, surely to God.
07:23Duck. Duck.
07:28It's only John.
07:30Oh.
07:31Huh?
07:32What?
07:33Oh! Oh, wow.
07:35CHEERING
07:37And the crowd goes mild.
07:40See, this is the nicest show on telly.
07:43Like, that's lovely.
07:47In Cork...
07:48I've always wanted...
07:51..an English bulldog.
07:52They snot everywhere, though. They do.
07:54..Dale and her wife Dawn.
07:57We'd have to get a dog that would match both of us.
07:59But we're not making the dog.
08:01No, I know, but the dog looks like their owner,
08:03but the dog has two owners.
08:04You kind of have a bull face.
08:07You do, like.
08:08Get a little Frenchie or something instead, they're cuter.
08:10I really want a little sausage dog, though,
08:12cos I think they're the most adorable dogs.
08:14They actually are.
08:15Do you know what I mean? Yeah, little wieners.
08:16Yeah!
08:18Imagine if two lesbians got a wiener.
08:21Sorted.
08:23On Thursday, we tuned in to Virgin Media One
08:26as their brand-new drama series came to its gritty conclusion.
08:31I've heard of this.
08:34And it's supposed to be very good.
08:38It's a good one.
08:43You know when you used to, like, pretend to kiss the mirror
08:46to learn how to kiss? Did you?
08:48Well, I think everyone's done that.
08:49Yes, David, well, you didn't learn much from the mirror.
08:54Is this young fellow on the bike I don't trust?
08:58He's going to shoot somebody.
08:59We were on edge as a couple of gangsters took us along
09:03for a dodgy deal.
09:04Target's stopping on Maiden Street.
09:07Target's still stationary.
09:09I love him in movies.
09:11Really handsome nose, nice and the eye.
09:13His LinkedIn is just Irish crime.
09:15Irish crime. Crime.
09:18There's the main target. Yeah.
09:23Let's do this.
09:28Now, he's sketchy.
09:29I know, they're all sketchy.
09:33Everything we said.
09:37Holy Moses!
09:41Oh!
09:43Is that a pack of lunch?
09:51That's the exchange. Now, go, go, go!
09:59The PC plod now.
10:00Like, of all the people they've sent now, they pull him over.
10:04This isn't random. He's wearing a fucking vest.
10:07Oh, they're getting ambushed! No!
10:14Don't do it, wee fellow.
10:20Oh, Jesus, I hope the young fellow doesn't do something stupid.
10:23Get out!
10:25Hands up behind your head! Do not hold that gun!
10:27I will shoot!
10:29They're like Tony Soprano.
10:31Oh, no, he's giving smoulder.
10:33Like, why is he walking with a pout, like?
10:35I'm Detective Inspector Ciaran Shaw,
10:37and I'm arresting you for being concerned
10:39in the importation of firearms.
10:44He's literally going to be like...
10:46He's literally leaning in, like...
10:52Oh, no!
10:54Oh, shit! He's just seen it.
10:56Look.
10:57He's seen it.
10:58He's seen it.
11:00Oh, no!
11:03No!
11:04I mean, the fellow with the gun, he's so young-looking.
11:07And that's the way it is in reality.
11:10They reckon now they have eight- and nine-year-olds
11:13running on scooters in Dublin.
11:16With cocaine and that.
11:18Later, we watched as the young lad, Ryan,
11:20decided to take matters into his own hands.
11:23Ryan was at the hand of the police.
11:25He was a young man, and he was a young man.
11:28Ryan was at the handover.
11:29He saw everything. I think he's got a gun.
11:32What?
11:33So he knows now that the lad with the dreadlocks
11:35was part of the cops?
11:37Shit, shit.
11:39What? What is it?
11:43Has he talked to me?
11:45Ryan was waiting.
11:47He pulled a gun.
11:49He made Steve go inside.
11:50He's going to kill him.
11:51Mmm.
11:53So I'm just a kid?
11:54Huh!
11:56So all of that...
11:58Ryan, do you want some stew?
11:59Maybe he's just hungry.
12:02You get like that when you're angry.
12:03You got guys in the house? Yeah.
12:05OK, here's what we're going to do.
12:07Oh! That was a good shot.
12:09I've got to go. Steve's in there.
12:10Keep Keen away.
12:12I won't shoot.
12:13The next one's in your head, yeah?
12:15Do you understand?
12:16I understand.
12:17Don't do it.
12:19Get the fuck out of here.
12:22Here he is now. The hero's coming.
12:24You haven't done anything bad.
12:27Nothing that can't be undone.
12:28Jesus, would you listen to sense?
12:30We can all walk away.
12:32He's going to shoot. See, this is what happens.
12:36Wait.
12:37I thought you said it was just you up here.
12:38Shit.
12:40So why is there a fed down there?
12:41Stupid bitch.
12:44Kingfisher!
12:45Ryan!
12:46Oh!
12:48Who's dead?
12:50Oh, your boyfriend's dead.
12:51Officer's 60. No, he's not.
12:57Fuck's sake, he's dead.
12:58HE LAUGHS
13:00Patience is critical.
13:02Nice tea, Timberton.
13:03Yeah, lovely. He's a good-looking boy.
13:05I like them kind of programmes, yeah?
13:07Yeah, they're good.
13:08They're on the edge of your seat, like... Yeah.
13:10There's nothing better than sitting in on a Sunday...
13:12Oh, yeah. ..and watching something like that after a Chinese.
13:15Or a chipper.
13:16Yeah.
13:17Or a chipper.
13:18Especially if they're Chinese, they're not going to buy them.
13:34In Carlo.
13:35If he can tell what this song is,
13:37then I'll have successfully learned the banjo.
13:40Is it a popular song? Very.
13:42Mates, Greg, Eric and Johnny.
13:48Don't fucking laugh!
13:49No, I'm laughing at the song. I know the song. Right.
14:06Hey!
14:08What was it? That was excellent. What was it?
14:10Mary Had A Little Lamb. No!
14:12Last Tuesday, a brand-new Channel 4 series
14:15whisked us off to the jungle for a unique slice of family life.
14:20Look at the amount of trees there.
14:22There's a lot of fucking trees there, like.
14:24International explorer Ed Stafford...
14:26OK, let's go! ..is taking six ordinary dads...
14:29Come on, son! ..and their kids to the jungles of Central America.
14:33You'd die. You wouldn't like the dirt.
14:36Do you know what I mean?
14:38You'd really die, and I'd die altogether.
14:41Because I'm a big fan of the jungle.
14:44Because of snakes and wild animals and everything.
14:52We'd be brilliant on something like that. Would we?
14:54Well, we'd kill each other, but what an experience, like.
14:57There's no point at all in preaching the benefits of extreme adventure
15:01if you let your kids watch TV all day.
15:03Is it the end of the world if the young lad is happy at home
15:06on the PlayStation? No.
15:07These dads are here for a reason.
15:09Each one of them has something that's gone wrong
15:11in their relationship that they want to fix with their kid.
15:14Good parenting.
15:15Bring them where their kids could be killed. Yeah.
15:17As they get deeper into the jungle,
15:20Ed has sent the kids' bus off in a different direction.
15:24So, this is to spend time together, but to put them on separate buses.
15:27So, I've deliberately split the dads from their kids
15:30in order to pressure-test the dads,
15:32drop them in at the deep end and see what they're made of.
15:35I wouldn't be happy with that. No, neither would I.
15:37I would like my child to be separated from me now in Central America.
15:39Like, that's no joke.
15:40You may have noticed that your children aren't here.
15:44They are upstream from here, OK?
15:47You'd walk the other way, Dennis.
15:49Bye!
15:52In the show, we watched a man named Jeff reminiscing with his son.
15:56I used to wake up in the morning.
15:58My first chores was to either go with my great-grandfather
16:02to get the cow, to get a bit of milk.
16:05How many times has he heard that story? Yeah.
16:08Parents love talking about how hard they had it in their day, don't they?
16:10To reach their kids, the dads face a 25-foot jump into deep waters.
16:17I'm always terrified about jungle water. Yeah.
16:20Because I've heard stories that if you pee in it,
16:22something will swim up into you.
16:23And you've already had a check on your wee-wee, haven't you?
16:26That was awful.
16:27I've never had to jump off a cliff into a big, massive lake like this before.
16:32And he was all gung-ho at the start.
16:33Dad! Now it's time to show your skills.
16:36Remember what you said you said that you was a professional diver?
16:40He's a little shit. Yeah.
16:41HE GASPS
16:43Ah!
16:48I tell you one thing, I'd make some splash when I'd hit it.
16:50Tsunami.
16:52Definitely.
16:53Oh! Oh!
16:55Sorry, I have to sit down.
16:57Go on.
16:59The current is very strong, it's dragging you.
17:02It's the stillest water I've ever seen.
17:05That was tough.
17:06That's one of the toughest things I've ever had to do.
17:09He's got me talking about this for years, hasn't he?
17:11Later, the programme introduced us to Christian and his daughter, Immy.
17:16He's always, like, putting my shoes on or scraping my plate.
17:20Obviously, she's got one hand.
17:22He's probably the overprotective father, then.
17:25You see his beard with this... Yeah.
17:28..plait? I find it so annoying.
17:30Why? I just like to cut it off.
17:33HE GROANS
17:34So, what I'm hoping to get from us being in the jungle
17:38is to prove I don't always need his help with physical things
17:42when I just want to do it by myself.
17:44But is it a good thing for them to walk together?
17:46The group have arrived at Acton Lodge, Tunich,
17:49known as the mother of all caves.
17:52Caves frighten the living daylights out of me now.
17:55Why? When are you...
17:57When are you in the dark, chomping around caves?
18:00And the fastest way down into the sinkhole
18:03is to abseil.
18:05Abseil? Are you serious?
18:07Get fucked.
18:09You...
18:11Would you... I'd have to go...
18:13If you can't do it, I can't do it.
18:15That's fine.
18:17Oh, she's a little bit afraid.
18:19She'll be well able. I don't know.
18:20We'll find out. She'll fight her this one.
18:23That's the hardest bit of this.
18:24It's just getting used to being leant back.
18:27OK?
18:29Oh, God, I love her.
18:30I'd be terrified to do that. Yeah.
18:33But I have two good hands.
18:36Hey, hey, hey, hey.
18:37Come here. Oh, no.
18:39You'll be fine, you'll be fine, you'll be fine.
18:41Come here.
18:42Come here.
18:43Asshole!
18:46Oh, Jesus, me nerves are gone.
18:49Keep your feet out in front of you.
18:51There you go.
18:53There you go.
18:54I can't... I can't find it.
18:56Hold it. Hold it tight.
18:57She has the hang of it now.
18:59Yeah. Yeah?
19:01Now we're just going to abseil down.
19:03There you go.
19:04Well done to her and him.
19:06He's staying real calm.
19:07He's doing a very good job of it.
19:10Jack, can you move that a bit?
19:12Have you got it? Yeah.
19:13I'm sure. Oh, she wants to do another one!
19:15APPLAUSE
19:17Come on.
19:19Yeah, get in.
19:20Hey!
19:23I've got goosebumps.
19:25Yeah. That's why I love this.
19:26Yeah. This type of show.
19:28Do you know what I mean? This is brilliant.
19:29I feel so proud of that little girl right now.
19:31Don't make enough of this type of stuff.
19:33MUSIC PLAYS
19:36In Clare...
19:38Je perte.
19:39Je perte.
19:41Je perte.
19:42No, I am something.
19:44That means I farted.
19:46Tyg and his granny, Etty.
19:49Je is I, you see.
19:50Je merde.
19:52That's the step after you farting.
19:54What's that?
19:55Poohing.
19:56All this in Anna, will you ever...
19:58Je m'appelle Etty.
20:00Je m'appelle. That's it. That's right.
20:03I hated it.
20:05Yeah, I didn't really like French either.
20:07I didn't like it in school.
20:08No, bear in mind, I did German and I wasn't mad about German.
20:10I wish they gave me something like Italian or Spanish.
20:12You see, you were good at German, but you wouldn't put in the work, so...
20:16You would have flew it, you know.
20:18I probably would have flew it if my ADHD was diagnosed as a teenager.
20:23And not when I was 22.
20:26Spains a lot, doesn't it?
20:28On Wednesday morning, we tuned in to Virgin Media One
20:32to enjoy a little bit of Irish culture.
20:37Ireland AM, is it?
20:41I feel like a real business gal going to work
20:45when I have this on in the morning, pottering around.
20:47I'm like, ah!
20:48It's time now to experience the epic Irish mythological tale
20:51of CĆŗ Chulainn through yoga and traditional music.
20:55How do you marry the Irish language with yoga?
20:57My glutes were very sore after the yoga.
21:00Were they? Yeah.
21:01That means it's working.
21:02Joining us now is director of Bach na Gaeilge, MicheĆ”l Ć NĆolĆ”in.
21:05MicheĆ”l Ć NĆolĆ”in.
21:06MicheĆ”l Ć... What?
21:08MicheƔl... Yeah, let's not even say the name.
21:10What is Bach na Gaeilge?
21:12So, it's an initiative with Dublin City Council...
21:14I like her jumper.
21:16Her gansey. Sorry.
21:18..trying to make Irish more seen and heard around Dublin City.
21:21That's really good.
21:22It's a lovely lyrical language.
21:25And the sayings are beautiful.
21:27The idea is that it's to link it with mythology,
21:31to link it with the story of CĆŗ Chulainn.
21:34Which one was CĆŗ Chulainn now?
21:35Is that the one with the hockey ball?
21:37The slither. The slither.
21:39Sorry.
21:41Come on, let's crack on. I want to see it.
21:44What do you reckon?
21:45Oh, be garish.
21:46VIOLIN PLAYS
21:49VIOLIN CONTINUES
21:55Do you think Lugh na Graein was CĆŗ Chulainn's father?
21:58No.
21:59Absolutely not. Nope.
22:02It is believed that Lugh, the sun god, was the father of CĆŗ Chulainn.
22:06The Celtic festival in Mont Luanasa,
22:09CĆŗintein Lugh, and Lugh na Cill,
22:11the highest mountain in Leinster, are all named in his honour.
22:14Who comes up with this, you?
22:15By Lugh RĆ na tĆŗcha de Adain.
22:19If I was Adam Hughes, I'd turn around to the other guy and go,
22:21can you see that woman playing the flute and that guy talking as well,
22:24or is it just me?
22:26Against all odds,
22:28Lugh led a combined army of the tĆŗcha de and mortal men to victory.
22:33What?
22:34It's a lot going on.
22:36HE CHUCKLES
22:38Don't fall on top of me.
22:40Tra fĆŗr an Ć”rd rĆoch as cup an drĆ©achtu Lugh in rĆŗin na bĆ³ine.
22:45Oh, drƩachtu. That's magic.
22:49Lugh na dhĆochas. RĆŗin na bĆ³ine.
22:52It's another way of holding yourself when you want to go for a wee.
22:55That's what he's doing. Look, that's what he was doing.
22:59CĆŗ Chulainn.
23:00The great hero warrior of Irish mythology.
23:04The protector of destiny.
23:06I'll use you, I will of me, I'll do that.
23:10Where can we get tickets?
23:11People can go and see this in Beaulieu's...
23:13Beaulieu's. There's one on today.
23:15Where did he say it was? I'd go and see that.
23:17Would you hold on to... I would.
23:19Do you know what? You talk nonsense.
23:20I would. I'd go and like CĆŗ Chulainn.
23:24Will... Will CĆŗ Chulainn go and do the letters?
23:39In Dun Laoghaire...
23:41Yeah, no, I went to a Turkish barber,
23:42but he gave me a nostril waxing at the end.
23:47Friends, David and John.
23:49Have you ever seen them done? Get done?
23:51No, is it actual wax? Yeah.
23:53They just like dip two lollipop sticks in wax
23:55and then shove them up your nose.
23:56And then you have this really awkward period
23:58where you're lying there being like,
23:59what do we chat about?
24:00And then he reefs them out.
24:02And you know what? I'm so gross that I really wanted to see them,
24:06but he threw them in the bin first.
24:07But I was hoping then afterwards that he would do that thing
24:09where he like blow torches your ears.
24:11Did you ever see that? Get done?
24:13For the hairs in your ears?
24:14Are you sure you weren't just being tortured?
24:17Were you brought to an offside CIA place?
24:19And they were like, this is a haircut.
24:21We just need to attach these electrodes to your penis.
24:24On Friday, BBC One Northern Ireland took us up north
24:28to investigate an unusual sound taking over a Tyrone town.
24:32When I first heard it, I was in my back garden
24:34at about half ten at night.
24:37I've heard of this before. I haven't.
24:40And I stopped and I thought, what is that buzzing sound?
24:43I thought I was going mad.
24:45If it's aliens, I'm into it.
24:46It's a very low-level hum in the background
24:50and it just, it gets inside your head.
24:53Oh, that's not the hum you're hearing, love.
24:55It's your little rabbit.
24:56LAUGHTER
24:58Buzzing away in the drawer. You forgot to turn it off.
25:00The noise goes in and out, like...
25:04HE HUMS
25:05HE HUMS
25:07HE HUMS
25:10It's probably a breeze blowing through something.
25:17We've seen enough movies to know that this is probably
25:22some dangerous chemical plant slowly poisoning the town.
25:26Erin Brockovich will be on in a minute.
25:29Nord-Erin Brockovich!
25:34The first time that I heard about the hum
25:36was when a reader called in to the paper.
25:38That's mad, isn't it?
25:40And I went out and started talking to people
25:43and asking a few questions to find out how annoying it was,
25:46where it was being heard.
25:47Has anybody recorded this humming sound?
25:49Apparently, some fella, Jimmy Ryan,
25:51he's a local sound engineer of some kind, I think.
25:54Apparently, he's devised some kind of a contraption
25:57that's going to enable him to locate the hum.
26:00LAUGHTER
26:02The ear horn.
26:03I went up to my children's bedroom
26:05and I pulled the map of the world off the wall
26:08and what I'd done was I fashioned it into a cone shape.
26:12It's a very organised shed he's got, isn't it?
26:14You want to see my friend's husband's shed? Oh, my God.
26:17And I put it through here and as you sweep across,
26:19it is really good, it's really effective
26:21at hearing faraway sounds.
26:24He can't be serious. I rolled up a map.
26:27So then I realised then that the lower frequencies,
26:31they weren't really as effectively collected by this apparatus.
26:35The apparatus!
26:37Go on, Jamie!
26:42There it is, there it is.
26:43He looked!
26:46The hum is there and I'm going to put it up.
26:50I like his ingenuity, though.
26:52We listened closely as Emmett and Jamie
26:54attempted to record the infamous hum.
26:58That's it. You can hear it now? Yeah.
27:00Sure. You hear it?
27:03Did you find it?
27:04Hear it? Yeah.
27:08That's weird. Yeah, just...
27:10As quick as it came, it left again.
27:12Yeah, that doesn't... That's very abnormal hum behaviour.
27:17Abnormal hum behaviour?
27:19What's normal hum behaviour?
27:25He's humming there now, is it him?
27:27That's a normal hum behaviour, though.
27:32Yeah.
27:33That's him doing it, Dad.
27:36Is it? Yes!
27:38Later, we were all ears to hear the documentary's grand reveal.
27:42Our wonderful hummy noise that has been the centre of attention
27:45for many months, internationally and around the world,
27:49has just gone away.
27:50What? Has it gone away?
27:52Oh, you'd be sick!
27:54Oh, well, Umma's just going to go on to bigger and better things.
27:57I mean, you know, we don't need a hum.
27:59Oh!
28:02That's pissed me off.
28:04ALL SING
28:06While the hum can still be heard, it is now much lower than before.
28:10Someone on the wiser?
28:12Do you know who they should guess?
28:13What's that Nick guy?
28:15Derek Akuraba.
28:16He's dead. Oh, Derek Akura!
28:21In Tipperary...
28:23Elvis Presley. It's a book, isn't it?
28:26Yeah, his granddaughter's bringing out a book, I believe.
28:28I remember the morning he died.
28:31Oh, yeah?
28:32Anastasia and her dad know...
28:35Imagine, he died on the toilet.
28:37Yeah, they're in a crap shop.
28:39Yeah, and gave himself a heart attack
28:42because of all the drugs in his system.
28:43I didn't know that, no. Yeah.
28:45And still to this day, when you go see his house,
28:48you're not allowed into that toilet.
28:50The toilet and his bedroom are still the exact same
28:53as the day he died.
28:54Crap is still there.
28:56On Wednesday, BBC Two gave us a morality check
28:59as a new series immersed us in one man's bid for freedom.
29:04Amy Coquille, she arranged to meet John that evening
29:07to pay back Ā£10 for some cannabis that she bought off him.
29:10Ā£10 and cannabis?
29:13She's never so corny.
29:15So I've gone down with her
29:16and took a three-foot table leg with me.
29:18Oh, yes, it's never good when you're going to meet somebody
29:20with a three-foot table leg.
29:22I pulled the table leg out and I've just swung it.
29:26Oh, my God. For murder?
29:28I'd hate to be killed by a man called Martin.
29:30With a three-foot table leg?
29:32I've took a human life.
29:35Premeditated, I thought about it, I went out and did it.
29:38Should you ever be released if you kill somebody?
29:40Intentionally? Intentionally, no.
29:45Life should be life.
29:47Yeah. That's it.
29:49Today, we have a prisoner who is serving a life sentence for murder.
29:55He can't be released until the parole board deem
29:57that his risk is manageable in the community.
29:59Prisons don't rehabilitate anybody.
30:03That's what they're supposed to do, they're supposed to be.
30:05They're supposed to be, yeah.
30:06The problem is in society, not in prisons.
30:09Unless you solve it in society, you won't solve prisons.
30:16My role in the board is to speak directly to the prisoner,
30:19to really think about what they feel about violence,
30:23what they think about violence,
30:25and what changes have happened whilst in prison.
30:29What responsibility is a job?
30:31Could you imagine having to decide someone's life
30:33and then someone who he affected's life as well?
30:36A while later, the doc gave us a front-row seat
30:39as Martin met with the parole board.
30:43Martin can apply for release today,
30:45but instead has chosen to ask for open conditions.
30:48Yeah, so it's an open prison.
30:49Yeah, and he can get out.
30:51He can go home and see his mam and come back
30:53and teach him to go into the community.
30:55But it's a while before that happens.
30:56When you went to your friend, what was your intention?
31:02To kill him.
31:03Don't say that to them, for fuck's sake!
31:06Well, at least he's being honest.
31:08When you eventually killed him, what was going through your mind?
31:12At first, it was rage and anger.
31:15I've never felt rage like it, it was just rage.
31:18And then it's just like a calmness come over me.
31:22I could see what my body was doing, but I couldn't stop it.
31:26You were out of your nut, and you couldn't control yourself.
31:29Let's be honest.
31:30When you had the thought that you were going to kill him,
31:33how long was it before you actually attacked him?
31:39A month.
31:40Whoa!
31:42Fuck off. Oh, come on!
31:43He planned it for a month?
31:46I just wanted to get our thoughts whilst they were fresh.
31:49I've got to say, on the whole,
31:51I found him quite forthcoming and open.
31:54If they go back and re-offend,
31:56the parole board aren't held accountable.
31:58Are they not? No.
31:59Why would you put the public in danger to let him out
32:04and see, will he do it again?
32:06I can't see him getting parole, can you?
32:08I wouldn't give him parole, sorry. No.
32:10We were on edge as we watched a prison guard
32:13hand Martin a very important piece of paper.
32:16I can't even open the paperwork proper.
32:18I'm shaking that much.
32:20They couldn't let him out.
32:22I have a funny feeling that they're going to let him go.
32:25Didn't get it, car, mate?
32:28Didn't get it?
32:29Yeah, they want me to stay on here
32:31and do another fucking 18 months on the pipes unit.
32:34Yes!
32:35I shouldn't be celebrating that, but that man's a prick.
32:39No, I got it.
32:40He's only messing, for God's sake!
32:42He's only messing, you bollocks!
32:44Oh, my Jesus, he fucking got it!
32:46Oh, my God!
32:47I think that the man who communicated that message
32:51and communicated the world via extreme sadistic violence
32:54is a man in the past.
32:58How can they tell whether he's a risk or not?
33:02He's in a confined space for years and years and years.
33:06Can't get up to mischief because he's not allowed.
33:09How can they read that? Bullshit!
33:12Well, I'm a believer every prisoner should have a release date.
33:16No. Why? Not every.
33:19Every prisoner? Yeah.
33:20Because if you have a prisoner doing life and there's no release date,
33:24it makes it more dangerous in the prison.
33:27If they don't do what they're supposed to do
33:30and reach that date, they don't get out.
33:33Mm. But they should have something to aim at.
33:36Yeah, you see where you're coming from.
33:50In Newbridge...
33:52I was getting married. It was in 1960.
33:55There was no sex education, so the word orgasm was unheard of.
34:01Fran, Tara, Kit and Trish.
34:04You weren't allowed to use birth control or technical or anything.
34:08You just had to keep having them.
34:11Having what? Orgasms?
34:12No, babies!
34:15That was after you were married.
34:17I said, there's nothing like a good orgasm all of a sudden.
34:20What do you think, Trish? Ladies?
34:22Well, I'm a bit old now for that. I don't want to know, Trish.
34:25Tara doesn't want to know.
34:27We're a bit old now for that.
34:29I hope when I'm your age... Don't be daft.
34:31Yeah, I hope when I'm your age, I'm still having them then.
34:34Well, I do too.
34:37On Friday, we tuned in to Channel 4
34:39to see a familiar show return to its less familiar new location.
34:44This is The First Dates restaurants.
34:50That's a savage-looking restaurant. It is.
34:53I love this. I love this.
34:55In the show, we followed bus driver Tommy's stop-off
34:58at the famous restaurant.
35:00Cute outfit. I'm a bit like, ooh, but the shorts, though.
35:03I feel like you should do a shimmy.
35:05HE CHUCKLES
35:06Why aren't you single?
35:08I just love spending time with my mum and dad.
35:10Does that have an impact on your love life?
35:13Um, I suppose it just makes me lazy,
35:14because why would I want to find someone to lay in my bed
35:17when I could just lay in bed with them?
35:18In my home, you share the bed with your mum and dad?
35:21Does it? This is fucking weird.
35:23Tommy's date is Luke,
35:25an electrician hoping to rewire his love life.
35:29Not what I would have thought an electrician and a bus driver
35:31look like. Here we are.
35:33How are you? Nice to meet you.
35:34How are you doing? Yeah, good, thanks.
35:35What's your name? Luke. Tommy.
35:37Tommy. So, do you live with your parents?
35:39There's seven of us at home. Wow.
35:41I can barely cope with you in this house.
35:43I can cope with you.
35:45What's your favourite soup? Is that a really boring thing to ask?
35:48Yeah, that's a very boring thing to ask.
35:50Mine's French onion.
35:51That's a very boring... What?
35:53What?
35:54LAUGHTER
35:56I like vegetable soup.
35:58Yeah. I put myself in the friend zone instantly on a date.
36:02Right. So now I just think,
36:03well, there's no point if I can jump into bed with my mum and dad
36:06or my sister and her other half and watch telly.
36:08I don't need someone.
36:09What? Oh, no! He's like, what the fuck?
36:12This fella has no social skills.
36:16I'm going to face up to my mum. Do you want to see my mum?
36:22Oh, lad.
36:25Oh, that's annoying.
36:27HE MOANS
36:31She's called me before.
36:32On a date. Yes! I remember she did.
36:35Oh, my God.
36:37Right, I need to go to the toilet.
36:39Oh, wow.
36:42Here's to me.
36:46I've got to go.
36:48I've literally Facetimed my entire family to talk about this poor boy.
36:51He's a bit extra.
36:53He's a bit too into his family.
36:55He returned.
36:56Honey, I'm home.
36:57Welcome back.
36:59What about you? What apps are you for?
37:01I am really traditional.
37:03Hmm. What apps do you use now?
37:05Just Tinder.
37:06He's lying.
37:07So sometimes I get grinded.
37:09So you have more.
37:10You liar.
37:12What's your problem?
37:13I don't want to open up my phone and be like...
37:16Look at my hairy backside. Like, I'd rather not.
37:19It's hard to use it as a date app.
37:21Because most people on it are just looking for their hole.
37:26Don't be rude, please.
37:27What do you want me to say?
37:29I'm just going in for a quick wee. Where are the toilets?
37:31Work it out.
37:33Oh!
37:35Jesus Christ, no wonder he's single.
37:38I've never seen such tension.
37:41What was that? Oh, my goodness.
37:43It was an absolute rollercoaster.
37:46It was a nightmare.
37:48I'm a very family-oriented person.
37:50I just don't find me to be with her.
37:52Oh! I hate this part.
37:57Oh, God.
37:59I don't want to see this.
38:01Do you want to see something?
38:04No.
38:05Fuck no. No.
38:06No!
38:07I don't think on, like, a...
38:10Romantic level. Romantic level, it was, yeah,
38:12there's never going to be anything more than that.
38:15Be more about you on a date.
38:18So you want to hear less about my mum?
38:20Yeah. Well, there you go. How dare you?
38:23Nobody wants to hear about your mam.
38:25My God, first dates can be fair awkward, can't they?
38:29I've never had one.
38:31You never went on a first date?
38:33What about mam?
38:34When you met mam?
38:35The first date I met her was at a dance.
38:38I didn't bring her any on.
38:40I didn't even pay for her entrance to the dance.
38:42Oh, for God's sake.
38:43Did you dance with her at least?
38:45I did, yeah. She's a good drunk as well, she is.
38:52In the Liberties, friends, Tracy and Anita.
38:57Do you ever put something on backwards?
38:58I put my pants on backwards.
39:00They'd be like a tongue then.
39:01I put my pants on backwards.
39:03I did that with a pair of trousers before.
39:06Not too long ago.
39:07And only if I'm in the jumpsuit, I can't be arsed taking it off.
39:10Have you got piles?
39:11No. Just as well.
39:13Why would that really be bad?
39:14Well, I don't know. I'd imagine so if you had piles
39:16and a tongue on, you'd be ripping the hole off.
39:19On Friday, a brand-new Netflix doc
39:22introduced us to this familiar face.
39:26Hi there, I'm Will Ferrell.
39:28He's a funny guy.
39:29Oh, he's brilliant, isn't he?
39:31A long time ago, back when I was at Saturday Night Live,
39:34I met a guy named Andrew Steele.
39:37He was hired as a writer the same week I was hired to perform.
39:40There aren't many naturally funny people anymore like Will Ferrell,
39:43are there?
39:44It's a certain, like, je ne sais quoi.
39:47I... What the... What the fuck are you on about?
39:50If you've ever scratched your head and said,
39:52why did Will Ferrell make that?
39:54There's a good chance Andrew Steele was involved.
39:57I love him. He has had some bad films.
40:00And then one day, I was in the middle of shooting a movie in Boston
40:03and I got this email from Andrew.
40:08Hey, Will.
40:10Something I need you to know.
40:12I'll be transitioning to live as a woman.
40:15What?!
40:17I doubt being a trans woman will change my personality that much.
40:21Mainly, I'm hoping I don't lose anyone I care about.
40:25Thanks.
40:26Name forthcoming.
40:28Jeez, imagine having to sit down and write that, though.
40:30I know.
40:31How brave is it to do it at that age?
40:34Mm, fucking amazing.
40:39But how would you even consider it, like?
40:44Do you know what I mean?
40:46But it's not a choice.
40:48No-one wants to have to go through that.
40:51No-one chooses to go through that.
40:53You have to. Do you know what I mean?
40:55Well, I would look at it as choice,
40:57but I'm wrong there, I suppose. I don't know.
41:00We watched as the Hollywood star told us about an idea he had
41:04to form a new connection with his old friend.
41:07After she had come out and transitioned,
41:09she had kind of lamented,
41:11gosh, I don't know if I can go to these same places as Harper.
41:15A kind of light bulb went off in my head and was like,
41:18Harper, would you want to do a road trip where we visit these places
41:21as this new version of yourself?
41:24That's cool. Yeah.
41:25Rewriting your history, like.
41:27I would imagine there's lots of parts of America
41:29that wouldn't be... Oh, yeah. ..accepting of it.
41:32I joke that I did puberty in about four hours.
41:36But as soon as I woke up,
41:40I was like...
41:43..epiphany. Yeah.
41:45That is wild. You have felt you're in the wrong body all your life
41:49and a four-hour operation.
41:50Say if one of my mates transitioned, I would have so many questions.
41:54Yeah. If anything, they would not want to be friends with me.
41:57Do you know what I mean?
41:58Later, a stop-off on the duo's road trip
42:01had us worried about Harper's safety.
42:04So, you're going to call me if it's feeling dicey.
42:07I'm going to put the old... You know what? I'm going to put it on speed dial.
42:11Like, as a woman, going to some place like this would be a bit dodgy,
42:14let alone a trans woman.
42:22Bit of a fucking chance there, innit?
42:24She, Dad. Yeah, well, she, sorry.
42:29Well, the Confederate flag is a good sign.
42:32That's very intimidating, walking in on you.
42:34A bar like that is now.
42:36I wouldn't walk into a bar on my own, you know?
42:38No, it's kind of intimidating, that noise.
42:41How you doing? Doing well. How you doing?
42:44I'm doing good.
42:45What's your name? Dominique. Dominique.
42:48Oh, God, I don't know how this is going to go.
42:51I feel bad for her, cos I'm afraid someone's going to say
42:54something mean to her at any minute.
42:56I'm afraid so.
42:57I'm afraid so.
42:58I'm afraid so.
42:59I'm afraid someone's going to say something mean to her at any minute.
43:02What's going on? Who are you?
43:04My name's Harper. Who are you?
43:06I'm Mama T.
43:07Honestly, she has some nerves.
43:10Trying to feel like if I can go back to bars since that transition,
43:14that's the problem.
43:17God, imagine how he feels outside.
43:20I'm going to text my friend, he's parking the car out there.
43:24Hello? Hey. Hey.
43:27Come on in. OK.
43:30Is this real, fellas? Yes, it is.
43:33For real?
43:36This is my friend Harper. How you doing?
43:38Nice to meet you, bro. Bro, oh, my God.
43:41Hey, not a bro, though, it's a she, but that's OK.
43:44Sorry. That's all right. That's all right.
43:46You can try it again. Yeah, yeah.
43:48Well, look, he's trying. He's trying his best.
43:50He's doing his best, God bless him.
43:52About a year and a half ago, I transitioned.
43:55And now Will wants to kind of go out in the middle of the country
43:58with me. Oh, my goodness. That's cool.
44:01That's great.
44:02I like your support for your friends.
44:04Oh, that's lovely. See? Would you do that for me? No.
44:08Like, imagine feeling trapped and lost in your own body.
44:11I couldn't imagine it.
44:14I'm not really afraid of these people.
44:16Yeah, right.
44:18I'm afraid of hating myself.
44:22Wow.
44:23Harper is afraid of hating.
44:28Herself. Yeah.
44:30It's very sad, isn't it?
44:33Oh, why did you do that?
44:42Well, I can't understand why they say it's a sin.
44:46You know, you are what you are, you're born the way you're born,
44:49and you don't have any...
44:52You know, you can't change yourself.
44:54When you can now, you can transition life.
44:58Do you know what I mean, Rory?
45:00But you can't change the core of who you are. No, no, no.
45:03Not even... Oh, my God.
45:06I just couldn't imagine being 61, I think she said she is.
45:10And having, like, willing and wanting to start your whole life
45:13all over again. Mm-hm.
45:19People don't stop and realise.
45:22They don't want to know, really, what these people go through.
45:26Do you know what I mean?
45:28This sort of thing, this documentary,
45:32it gives you a huge more understanding.
45:35Do you know what I mean?
45:37MUSIC
45:39Lucy Kennedy is ready to get up close and personal
45:42with whatever is affecting people in Ireland right now.
45:44How will she fare? First up, psychics.
45:47Can Lucy feel it?
45:48Find out an all-new Real Life With Lucy
45:50starts Monday at 9pm on Virgil Media Play and Virgil Media One.
45:54MUSIC