Waiting for the right partner? || Acharya Prashant

Acharya Prashant

Full Video: Waiting for the right partner? || Acharya Prashant, in conversation (2021) Link:    • Waiting for the right partner? || Ach...    ➖➖➖➖➖➖  ‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ➖➖➖➖➖➖  Video Information: 07.12.2021, Interview Session, Rishikesh, Uttrakhand  Context: What is the ultimate advice for the right partner?  How to choose the right partner for marriage?  How to be committed in a relationship?  How to have a deep and spiritual relationship?  Is marriage good or bad?  What about sex before marriage?   Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Transcript

00:00There was this thing that I came across which was really thought provoking for me.

00:10They spoke about, Sri Aurobindo spoke about, he spoke about three levels or three kinds

00:17of partnerships, if you can call them.

00:21He said there is one at the vital level, vital partnership, there is psychic partnership

00:25and then there is spiritual partnership.

00:28So my question is, how do I find the spiritual partner and how do I know or recognize?

00:35Just the same way you find the right Guru.

00:38Go back to that question.

00:39Okay.

00:40The authenticity in my core.

00:42You must know what you are seeking from the person.

00:46If you get it from that person, you are with the right person.

00:51What are you looking for?

00:53What are you seeking?

00:55If you are just looking for decent looks and somebody to accompany you to the movies,

01:05then anybody would do.

01:07But if you are looking really to not to make a waste of your life and if you are looking

01:13to someone who just refreshes you, gives you freedom from all the stillness we carry

01:28within from all these centuries, then you will find the right person.

01:34What are you looking for?

01:37So the right partner is not determined by the attributes of the partner.

01:44The right partner is determined and achieved by the intensity of your hunger, your inquiry.

01:54Just as I said, you go and ask the right questions from the Guru and if the Guru comes a cropper,

02:00you leave.

02:01Similarly, even with your partner, you need to ask certain questions, maybe not in the

02:06same way you formally inquire from a Guru, but the essence of the question has to be

02:14the same because the essence of the suffering is the same.

02:19Are you a different person in front of the teacher and a different one in front of the

02:22partner?

02:23No, that's not the same.

02:25So the suffering consciousness is the same, even when you are in with your, irrespective

02:31of who you are with actually, mother, father, your dog, your cat, the purpose has to be

02:38a one.

02:39The purpose is I have to be better, not in the sense of earning more money, I have to

02:46be better inwardly.

02:48I have to come out of this inner haze, does my dog help me with that?

02:54You have to be austere and rigorous to that extent.

02:59I know many people would hear this and laugh, that does even a dog need to be measured on

03:07a spiritual yardstick?

03:08Yes, of course.

03:10Why must you keep a pet if the pet is going to make your life hell?

03:18Every single thing that you do, you must ask, is it going to liberate me from my bondages

03:23and my ignorance?

03:26Why must I wear a ring?

03:28Why must I wear an earring?

03:30Why must I comb my hair this way?

03:32Why must I take a walk to the shop?

03:38Why must I breathe?

03:40Why must I wake up every morning?

03:43Why must I do that?

03:45The purpose has to be liberation and one has to be absolutely one minded on that.

03:52No wavering, no second thoughts.

03:54I know why I exist because I know how I exist.

04:00Once you know how you exist, you know why you exist.

04:05How do you exist?

04:06You exist in agony and therefore, why do you exist?

04:09You exist for liberation.

04:16So, it's not a complicated question at all.

04:24Men, women, all have this question and it has been romanticized endlessly and it has

04:31been turned into something mysterious, as they say these days, mystical.

04:37You know, how can you know whether the heavens have really chosen that particular face for

04:43you?

04:44The heavens have chosen nothing.

04:46Your angst has to choose its doctor.

04:50But that's so unromantic.

04:51Am I supposed to choose a doctor?

04:53I mean, come on, I'm looking to visit a dyspathy, not a hospital, right?

05:00I want to go to Switzerland and you are sending me to Apollo Hospitals.

05:04I mean, why do you talk of the partner as a doctor?

05:08But the partner has to be a doctor because you are a patient, you are sick and you don't

05:17want to acknowledge that because you're pretty.

05:20I'm so handsome, I'm so tall, how can I call myself a patient?

05:28You are a patient.

05:29Better have some humility and acknowledge that and then you will know the one to partner.

05:37Otherwise, you will be in all kinds of wrong relationships.

05:43And they come in the garb of the promise initially, but then it all comes off, you know, I mean,

05:52promises anybody can make.

05:54The thing is, if I really want something, I test the promise, no?

05:59Are those promises ever validated?

06:02Do we pass them through scrutiny?

06:03No, we don't.

06:04Why?

06:05Because I'm not bothered, not bothered.

06:07I may write there that I'm very concerned about me not getting infected.

06:18But am I even bothering to ask that person, so are you vaccinated?

06:23So are you vaccinated?

06:25I don't even bother to ask that person whether he's vaccinated.

06:29And I keep telling myself, you know, I care so much about my health and public health

06:34in general.

06:35So all these are our games we play with ourselves.

06:38We tell ourselves one thing, whereas we live a totally different thing.

06:44It's not others that deceive us.

06:46We keep deceiving ourselves endlessly.

06:53And the funny thing is, when we discover that others too have deceived us, we cry ourselves

07:02dry.

07:08How can you complain now?

07:11The very name of the game was deception.

07:14He was deceiving you, you were deceiving him or her.

07:18He was deceiving himself and you were deceiving yourself.

07:23All kinds of permutations, combinations and deception were happening all the time.

07:27Now that something has come up, you're crying.

07:37Explain.

07:44So once you've gone through, you know, the path of obviously stumbling down and then

07:52discovering who you are.

07:54Even after that, there are, I mean, it is happening.

07:58So they will pop up right in the garb of looking right, looking in the sense, not looking right.

08:05I mean, we are obviously not that shallow anymore.

08:08So looking in the sense, oh, all like they're deeper than that and all that.

08:13So how do you spot a lie?

08:15Does an infected person look different from a normal person?

08:19No, no, no.

08:21So what do you do?

08:22You test, test, test.

08:26Always carry RT-PCR kits with you.

08:29Keep testing.

08:30By the looks, you will never know whether the fellow is infected or not.

08:35You must test.

08:36And how will you test?

08:38Through your own angst, through your own inquiry.

08:41So is there no depth left in the men anymore?

08:44I mean, I mean, I mean, what?

08:46What is the game?

08:49Predominantly.

08:53If there is no depth left in the men and women are usually unable to see that, is there any

09:02depth left in women either?

09:08Had there been, I mean, generalizing, you are generalizing, I am generalizing, but let's

09:11play this game.

09:13If there is no depth in the man, and the woman still falls prey to the man, what kind

09:22of depth does the woman have?

09:26Correct.

09:30That's the utility of depth.

09:32You don't fall prey to shallowness.

09:36Without the real thing, nothing in life falls in the right place.

09:48At times, we might be deluded into thinking that things are going well with us.

09:56They cannot.

09:57They cannot.

09:58Even if it is happening, it is going to be very short-lived, and the end is going to

10:05be tragic.

10:08You can happily run your car on a flat tire for two kilometers, and then

10:26you can have a powerful steering, we have power steering these days, and the engine

10:32is very powerful, 200 horsepower, and you are an insensitive driver, so you don't quite

10:41notice the vibrations in the vehicle.

10:43For two kilometers, you can happily run the vehicle even at 60 or 80 miles an hour with

10:50a flat tire.

10:55That's all.

11:01And then when somebody calls you up or gestures from outside, hey, hey, you are such a fool,

11:08he is unnecessarily raising a scene.

11:17All these are conspiracy theorists.

11:20I am so happily riding my vehicle, and the fellow is warning me from there and playing

11:26it up, they don't like my happiness, and that's what so many people verbally or non-verbally

11:39say to me.

11:40They may not say that, but it's writ large on their faces, and we are so happy, probably

11:45you don't like our happiness.

11:49I want you to be really happy.

11:53I know the thing that you call as happiness.

11:58I know how deceptive it is and what kind of pain it would leave you with, therefore I

12:06am warning you against false happiness.

12:09I'm not an enemy of happiness.

12:13I don't like this movement into deeper and deeper pain in the name of happiness.

12:43Personal problem, social problem, global problem, there is just one problem, unless

12:59we address that, we can have a thousand names to a thousand problems, and it's very easy

13:10to address that, and very difficult to address that, because that problem is not outside

13:15of us, that problem is within us, that problem lies in our very build, so it's easy because

13:24the problem is near, it's difficult because the problem is within.

13:43You know in this book that I read, David Epstein, it's, it did quite well actually, it's called

13:53Generalist, why generalists triumph in a specialized world, so there are so many things, many times

14:07one is endowed with, like personally for me I'm drawn to a lot of stuff, so basically

14:14do I do it all?

14:16Is it possible to do it all?

14:22I'm drawn towards all the stuff in the pharmacist's place, which medicine do you, which sickness

14:45do you, which medicine you use to treat your sickness, basically.

14:51First thing is acknowledgement of the sickness, that decides the medicine, and that then rejects

15:02all the needless medication, needless medication is very close to more sickness, all that in

15:25ignorance of the real disease.

15:33I was talking more work-wise in the sense, there's music, there are a lot of things,

15:37so even…

15:38It doesn't matter, all these are objects in our sensory world, we need to know who we

15:47are and therefore what is it that suits us, skill-wise at points in my life I have been

15:58good at certain sports, I have been good at mathematics, I have been good at engineering,

16:05I have been good at management, I have been good at acting, what is it that I need to

16:18do, it's just not that I feel talented in some space, so I take that space up, talent

16:30is such a foolish thing, I would have probably made a good physicist, but is that the need

16:52of my consciousness, even today if I, if there is one thing that attracts me beyond

17:11Vedanta, it's physics, I haven't taught physics, and data analytics, but is that where my real

17:34need lies, is that where the sickness of the world lies?

17:40What does the world need, if I become a physicist, that's not going to heal the world, we already

17:48have enough physicists.

18:07And with this question, are the words of passion, calling and all such things, but I feel so

18:21passionate about what, let's say, give me something, singing, now there is hardly anybody

18:37who does not feel passionate about singing, but hello, I am not against singing, anybody

18:47in India who is not passionate about cricket, 74.6% India wants to get into the national

18:58cricket team, either cricket or acting or singing, those who cannot make it to the Wankhede

19:06stadium, want to make it to the studios, either the stadium or the studio, so that pretty

19:17much covers the entire population of the country, hello, to hoots to passion, you see

19:27what you must do, not what you are inclined to do, being born in India, obviously, you

19:37would be inclined to take the ball or the bat in hand, I too was inclined, that's not what

19:44I am going to do, or perhaps use your singing in a way that it is conducive to serve the

19:53purpose, now that makes sense, what sort of songs are you singing, but again you have

19:59to determine, if your songs are just a means towards some higher end, then are songs the

20:10best means towards that end, if the end is the important thing, then are the songs the

20:22best means, if they are, continue with singing, if they are not, pick that up, which would

20:30be most efficient in taking you towards your goal, so Meera sang bhajans of Krishanji too,

20:44Meera succeeded with songs in reaching Krishan, not everybody succeeded with songs in reaching

20:53Krishan, you have to ask yourself, is Krishan important or the songs, the answer would be

21:06Krishan if you are honest, if Krishan is important, are songs the best way, if the answer is yes,

21:12continue with singing, if the answer is no, don't deceive yourself, pick some other way,

21:21if you persist with singing, irrespective of knowing that this is not taking you to Krishan,

21:28then singing is more important for you than Krishan and that's bad, good point, I like it,

21:40lovely, when Meera asked to pick between her bhajans and Krishan, what would she choose,

21:49Krishan, bhajans were good for her only because they were 100% aligned with her love for Krishan,

22:01bhajans are secondary, Krishan is primary.

22:21No part of this recording may be reproduced

22:23without Mooji Media Ltd.'s express consent.

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