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00:00Go right ahead. I'm never against a little fun on the freeway.
00:10Slow down, there's a traffic jam ahead!
00:13No problem!
01:00We have a lot!
01:02Just wait till your father gets...
01:04Until your father gets...
01:06Wait till your father gets home!
01:08See what I mean?
01:09Wait till your father gets home!
01:11We know!
01:25You really ought to try the pancakes, Harry.
01:27Yeah, Pop. I always have a big breakfast.
01:29It helps me to face the day.
01:31You know what else helps you to face the day?
01:33The knowledge that right after breakfast you're going back to bed.
01:35Unfortunately, I have to get to work.
01:40Something's bothering you, Harry. I can tell.
01:43That's nothing to worry about.
01:47But I want to worry.
01:49What's a wife for if not to give moral support to her husband?
01:52Well, okay.
01:55That's my problem.
01:57This woman took over a little restaurant from one of my customers three months ago,
02:01and she's exactly three months behind on my bills.
02:04Now I've got to go over there personally and try to collect.
02:07Harry Boyle, you're going to bother a sweet old lady like that
02:11just because she owes you money?
02:13That's terrible!
02:15Thanks for your wifely moral support.
02:17Lincoln got more support from John Wilkes Booth.
02:20Well, they weren't married.
02:27Mrs. Frickert?
02:29Is this a straight mugging or a pick-up?
02:31I'm Harry Boyle. Boyle's Restaurant Supply.
02:34Oh, yes. I've been dying to meet you.
02:37Your number two stewed tomatoes are groovy,
02:40and your dried prunes are heavy, man, heavy.
02:43Oh, uh, thanks.
02:45Mrs. Frickert?
02:46That's Miss Frickert, honey.
02:48I'm loose and single from the top of my head,
02:51and I've got no money.
02:53That's Miss Frickert, honey.
02:55I'm loose and single from the top of my Don Loper hairpiece
02:58to the bottom of my surgical stocking.
03:01Very nice.
03:02Miss Frickert, I don't understand.
03:04You're running an eating place.
03:06How come that sign closed for lunch?
03:08I've got to eat, too.
03:10And if I take on one more of my chili burgers,
03:12it'll mount the stays in my corset.
03:15I really lay on the sauce.
03:17That's why I'm brown-bagging it today.
03:19Well, I've got some business to talk over with you.
03:21I'll bet you do, honey.
03:24Come on, dude, let's split.
03:26There's my wheels.
03:31A beauty, ain't it?
03:32Got a great buy on it.
03:34It's only been ridden Sundays by Evil Knievel.
03:42Hop on, honey.
03:45Put your arms around me and hold on tight.
03:48If you want to get in some squeezing, go right ahead.
03:50I'm never against a little fun on the freeway.
04:02Slow down, there's a traffic jam ahead.
04:05No problem.
04:11That was nothing.
04:13I've taken jumps so high I was able to show an in-flight movie.
04:20This is my favorite bench, honey.
04:22What would you like to do first?
04:23Neck or eat?
04:25Will you get one thing straight?
04:26I'm a happily married man.
04:28That's all right.
04:29Care to start off with a little red-eye?
04:32It'll get the carbon deposits out of your liver.
04:34No, thanks.
04:39Lovely stuff.
04:40It just popped all the buttons off my shoe.
04:43Mrs. Pritchard, can we get down to business?
04:45I thought you wanted to eat first, lover.
04:51You start at the sausage, I'll start at the mozzarella, and we'll meet at the pepperoni.
04:55It'll blow your mind.
05:03You owe me exactly $412.85.
05:07Push harder.
05:09Maybe I can go into orbit and hook up with the boys in Skylab.
05:13No more swinging till you give me an answer.
05:15Party pooper.
05:16All right, I'll pay you.
05:18Good.
05:19As soon as I can.
05:20Right now, I'm short of cash.
05:22I blew it all to enter my chopper in the Death Valley 500.
05:25Oh, great.
05:27Whee!
05:29Now you're with it.
05:33It's nice to hear about a woman that age being so active.
05:37She's not going to be so active if she doesn't pay her bills pretty soon.
05:40Pop, you're too materialistic.
05:42You don't see me ever worrying about money, do you?
05:44No, but I keep hoping you'll start.
05:46You're upset, dear.
05:48It's the way you're treating Miss Brickard, isn't it?
05:50I heard being heartless can give you heartburn.
05:53You know, that old gal sounds cool, Pop.
05:55I'd like to race in that Death Valley 500, too.
05:58I don't think you can pass the physical.
06:00You have to be able to get up off the couch.
06:10Mr. Boyle?
06:11Yes?
06:12Fred Simpson, Simpson Meat Supply.
06:14I'm Conrad Twillig, Interior Decorator and Color Tone Coordinator.
06:17Well, what can I do for you, gentlemen?
06:19We understand we've got a common problem.
06:21The old broad owes us money, too.
06:23Yes, I've been in a snit about it.
06:25I redecorated her entire shop, and I haven't seen a quid.
06:29Let's get together and foreclose.
06:31She's welched on our bills.
06:32Let's carve her up and get what's ours.
06:34I agree with him.
06:36But I find his choice of words rather nauseating.
06:39Now look, before we take that step, why don't you let me talk to her just once more?
06:43If she realizes she's up against all three of us, she might start paying her bills.
06:47Okay, give it one more shot.
06:50But if she don't come through, her head's on the chopping block and I've got the cleaver.
06:54Oh, I feel faint.
06:56Mr. Boyle, do you have any diet bourgeois?
07:04How come you asked me to meet you here?
07:06Well, you said you had something important to tell me, but I had something to do,
07:10so you might as well tell me while I'm doing it.
07:12Come on.
07:15Take her up, Charlie.
07:23What's the parachute for?
07:25It always looks nice on you when you jump.
07:28Jump?
07:29This is my hobby. I'm a skydiver.
07:31Well, it's not my hobby.
07:33Don't worry, honey. I'll be right beside you.
07:36We'll free fall together and hook up pinkies halfway down.
07:41Three, four...
07:43Geronimo!
07:48Don't pull the ring till we drop another 5,000 feet.
07:51Just hold your arms out and fly like a bird.
07:55Not like a chicken, sweetie. I said a bird.
07:59This is a good time to talk.
08:01What did you want to say?
08:03Help!
08:11Let me get rid of that parachute, Marlon.
08:13Then we can finish that last tango in Paris.
08:20And that's all you wanted to talk to me about?
08:23Paying the bills?
08:24That's right.
08:25I thought you were going to tell me you were leaving your dollsville wife
08:28and you and I could start motel hopping.
08:30Can you get it through your head that I'm not looking for another woman?
08:33You don't have to look.
08:35You found the one who has it all.
08:37I understand. There are two other creditors besides me.
08:40And if you don't pay, we're going to have to foreclose.
08:43Oh, you know you'd never do that, baby.
08:45You're too mad for my bod.
08:49I give up.
08:50What do you do with an X-rated grandma?
08:55Gary, foreclosing on that poor Miss Frickert,
08:59it's cruel, inhuman, and not even very nice.
09:02Believe me, Irma, I've done all I can.
09:05You know what it's like to try to talk business
09:07while you're falling a thousand feet a minute?
09:09If I hadn't grabbed hold of her, I would have been killed.
09:12She's just a poor old lady.
09:14Yeah, and she's turning me into a poor old man.
09:17Now, do you mind?
09:18It's very hard to shave while you're engaged in a debate.
09:21All right.
09:25Ah!
09:26What happened?
09:27I cut myself.
09:29See? You're being punished.
09:36Hey, great lunch, Maud.
09:38What do I owe you?
09:39Let's see, you had the clam chowder,
09:41chef's salad, barbecued ribs, french fries,
09:43pecan pie a la mode, and coffee.
09:45That comes to 79 cents.
09:47Gee, how can you serve good food like that
09:49at such a low price?
09:51I've got a system.
09:52I don't keep books.
09:57Try to make it here for breakfast tomorrow, Andy.
09:59I'm putting rum on the waffles,
10:01and we're all going to dance to the music.
10:04Hi, honey.
10:05Where have you been?
10:07I haven't seen you in two whole days.
10:09I've been busy.
10:10That's a relief.
10:11I thought I was losing my sex appeal.
10:13I was ready to go out and get a silicone job.
10:17Look, I've got some news for you.
10:19I couldn't hold out any more.
10:21It's all over.
10:22Goodie.
10:23You finally told your wife to shove off
10:25and we can start swinging together.
10:27I do cut myself.
10:28I've got a system.
10:29I don't keep books.
10:30I'm putting rum on the waffles,
10:32I do cut that out.
10:34The other creditors and I have filed papers
10:36to foreclose this place.
10:37Come on.
10:38You're jiving me.
10:39Well, believe me,
10:40I don't enjoy doing this,
10:42but let's face it.
10:43You don't know how to make a go
10:45out of the restaurant business.
10:46Now, wait a minute.
10:47There's got to be ways I can make more money.
10:50I got it.
10:51I'll go topless.
10:54Well, I won't go bottomless.
10:56That's naughty.
10:57How about this?
10:59I'll put slot machines in the restroom,
11:01so you guys can have a piece of the action.
11:03From now on, this place is closed.
11:08You did the right thing, Harry.
11:10I had the same problem with an old lady
11:12a couple of years ago.
11:13I loaned her money.
11:14She didn't pay me back
11:15and I had her in court
11:16before you could say Gilligan's Island.
11:17Well, I don't feel too happy about it.
11:19It didn't bother me.
11:20I just walked up to her,
11:21handed her the summons,
11:22and said,
11:23see you in court, Mom.
11:24You sued your mother?
11:25Yeah.
11:26She needed this operation
11:27and hit me for 200 bucks.
11:28It wasn't easy getting in the operating room
11:30to serve the papers.
11:31You're kidding.
11:32Well, I wanted to catch her
11:33before the anesthesia took effect.
11:35The doctors threw me out.
11:37It was okay, though.
11:38I sneaked up on her
11:39in the intensive care ward.
11:40Sounds like a warm family reunion.
11:42It was.
11:43My brother was the lawyer
11:44I hired to sue Mom.
11:46You hired your brother
11:47to sue your mother?
11:48It was a favor to her.
11:50You see, she spent her last cent
11:51putting him through law school,
11:53so he needs all the work
11:54he can get to pay her back.
11:56I've got it carved down to the bone.
11:58We can get 300 for the stove,
12:00250 for the refrigerator,
12:0175 for the coffee urn.
12:03Listen, do you think
12:04there'll be a few bucks left over
12:05for Miss Freckert?
12:06No chance.
12:07Would you stop worrying
12:08about this old lady?
12:09I always say in this world,
12:10it's dog eat dog.
12:12And in this world
12:13are also people.
12:14I can't help but feel
12:15a little sorry for Miss Freckert.
12:16Get your mind off it, Boyle.
12:18Think of something pleasant.
12:19Come on over to the slaughterhouse
12:20and watch me sock it
12:21to a few steers.
12:24I've got a feeling
12:25there's something strange
12:26about that kid.
12:27You suppose he's a vegetarian?
12:29Yeah, that's probably it.
12:31Look, I'll meet you over
12:32at Maud's this noon.
12:33I want to make sure
12:34that dingy old broad
12:35is really closed for good.
12:54Hi, Miss Freckert.
12:55Hello, Tiger.
12:56Be with you in a minute.
12:57I just have to tighten
12:58the MX pegs
12:59and adjust the J-bar.
13:00I want it revved up right
13:01when I get back
13:02to Centerville, Iowa.
13:03You're leaving?
13:04Going back to my hometown.
13:06I had to leave there
13:0760 years ago
13:08because of the scandal.
13:09What scandal?
13:10I left a hickey
13:11on my English teacher.
13:13Yeah, well,
13:14I'm sure it's healed by now.
13:16Are you going to drive this thing
13:17all the way to Iowa?
13:19Yep.
13:20Going to get my kicks
13:21on Route 66.
13:23Ain't no reason I can't
13:24keep on doing my thing
13:25back in Centerville.
13:26They got a lot of muddy
13:27old farms for dirt racing there.
13:29Of course,
13:30they don't have an airport,
13:31but I can keep up
13:32my skydiving
13:33by jumping off
13:34the church steeple.
13:35It's a biggie.
13:36Well, it sounds great.
13:37I wish you luck.
13:38Howdy, Aunt Maud.
13:40Elwood,
13:41what are you doing here?
13:43Well, when you called
13:44and said you were coming home,
13:45I thought I'd better
13:46come get you.
13:47You're getting on
13:48in years, Aunt Maud.
13:49You shouldn't be
13:50traveling alone.
13:51I wasn't planning
13:52on traveling alone.
13:53I was just going to
13:54start out alone.
13:55I'll be a group
13:56by the first on-ramp.
13:58Oh, Elwood,
13:59this is my big fox,
14:00Harry Boyle.
14:01He's freaked out
14:02for my prey,
14:03my nephew Elwood.
14:05Elwood Suggins.
14:06Suggins Hardware
14:07and Feed Depot.
14:08You must have heard of it.
14:09I'm afraid I haven't.
14:10I can't understand that.
14:12I sponsor the Suggins
14:13Musical Memory Lane
14:14show on radio.
14:15Got us a 250-watt signal.
14:17Goes all the way
14:18into Twin Forks.
14:19Sorry.
14:20We feature the
14:21all-grandmother
14:22Juice Harp Band
14:23doing a Roy A. Cupp
14:24festival.
14:25You do like oldies
14:26but goodies, don't you?
14:27Sure he does.
14:28What do you think
14:29he hangs around me for?
14:31Come on inside, Elwood.
14:32You look like
14:33you could use a cool drink.
14:36Aunt Maud,
14:37our home is
14:38the perfect place
14:39for you to enjoy
14:40your twilight years.
14:41I pulled the old rocker
14:42out of the attic
14:43and it's sitting
14:44on the porch.
14:45You can rock away
14:46to your heart's content.
14:47I don't know if I'll
14:49practice up on my wheelies.
14:50Out of the question,
14:51Aunt Maud.
14:52We just don't allow
14:53no motorcycle driving
14:54in Centerville.
14:55Well, what about
14:56my skydiving?
14:57Come on now.
14:58That's for young hellers.
14:59But if you're
15:00looking for excitement,
15:01you can come down
15:02to the hardware store
15:03Thursdays and watch
15:04me sort out nails.
15:05But I like to do things.
15:06You've got to realize
15:07your age, Aunt Maud.
15:08You're over the hill
15:09and you might as well
15:10make up your mind
15:11to go down to it gracefully.
15:12It'll be nice.
15:13While you're rocking,
15:14Ellie can help you
15:15with your crocheting.
15:17Oh, that must be Fred.
15:18Excuse me.
15:20I see the sign.
15:21She's really
15:22closed down, right?
15:23Yeah, that's right.
15:24She's going back to Iowa.
15:25Good.
15:26But keep an eye on her.
15:27I bet she tries
15:28to swipe the stove.
15:29Oh, no.
15:30You got her all wrong, Fred.
15:31Maud would never run off
15:32with anything that
15:33didn't belong to her,
15:34except maybe a sailor's jacket.
15:35You can't trust
15:36kooks like that, I tell you.
15:37She might have
15:38some sort of setup
15:39waiting for her back there.
15:40The only thing waiting
15:41for her is a rocking chair.
15:42Good.
15:43About time she started
15:44acting her age.
15:45Yeah, that's what
15:47I'll check into the YMCA
15:49and we'll leave tomorrow.
15:50That'll give me a chance
15:51to visit Disneyland.
15:52What's Disneyland?
15:54You must have heard.
15:55You'll ride around
15:56in a cup and saucer
15:57and see Peter Pan's village
15:58and Snow White's mine.
15:59And if you're real lucky,
16:00you actually get to
16:01shake hands with Donald Duck.
16:02Lots of people go there.
16:03Why?
16:05See you tomorrow.
16:07What will you do
16:08with your bike?
16:09I don't know.
16:10Say, would you
16:11like to have it?
16:12I just rebuilt the motor,
16:13increased the
16:14compression ratio,
16:15put in new cams
16:16and tightened
16:17the skid plates.
16:18Where did you learn
16:19so much about
16:20motorcycles, huh?
16:21From Steve McQueen.
16:22He taught me
16:23the whole scene
16:24during a beer bust
16:25we had in Ensenada.
16:26What were you
16:27doing in Ensenada?
16:28I went down
16:29to race my chopper
16:30in the motocross
16:31but I wiped out.
16:32My hem tangled
16:33in the exhaust pipe
16:34and my whole dress
16:35caught fire.
16:36Up in smoke
16:37went four yards
16:38of taffeta slip
16:39and a half a yard of me.
16:40I was a flamer.
16:41Sounds dangerous.
16:42Nah, the fire truck
16:43put it out right away.
16:44That was some feeling, Sonny.
16:45You haven't lived
16:46till you've had
16:47your underwear foamed.
16:49Yeah, I suppose not.
16:50My garters
16:51smoked for a week.
16:53So I went to work
16:54helping the other fellows
16:55with their pit stops.
16:56Got pretty good.
16:57Andy Granatelli
16:58called me
16:59the fastest grease gun
17:00in the West.
17:01Well, he ought to know.
17:02And then there was
17:03the time...
17:04Oh, but that's
17:05all over now.
17:06Why don't you
17:07take the bike
17:08and swing a little?
17:09Well, thanks, Maude,
17:10but I can't use it.
17:11But if you like,
17:12I'll try
17:13and use the bread
17:14to stock up
17:15on crochet needles.
17:16Maude,
17:17it's none of my business,
17:18but you will be happy
17:19back in Centerville,
17:20won't you?
17:21Of course I'll be happy.
17:22Sure, it'll be fine.
17:23Like Elwood says,
17:24they got that nice porch
17:25back there.
17:26Be nice and restful.
17:27And you probably
17:28have lots of friends
17:29back there, huh?
17:30No, most of my set
17:31have cashed in by now.
17:32All the more reason,
17:33like Elwood says,
17:34to start acting my age.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Centerville's gonna be
17:37just the ticket for me.
17:38Well, I certainly hope so.
17:39Well, I certainly hope so.
17:40Well, I certainly hope so.
17:41Well, I certainly hope so.
17:42Well, I certainly hope so.
17:43I mean riding a chopper
17:44and jumping out of planes.
17:45That's for the young people.
17:47For me,
17:48a good old rocking chair.
17:50Well, I better get packed,
17:51so I'll say goodbye.
17:52And I sure appreciate
17:53all you've done,
17:54Mr. Boyle.
17:57That's the first time
17:58she ever called me
17:59Mr. Boyle.
18:06Then it all worked out
18:07beautifully, didn't it, dear?
18:09That nice old lady
18:10is going back
18:11to her hometown again?
18:12Yeah, that's right.
18:13She's going back.
18:14Then it has a happy ending,
18:16doesn't it?
18:17Well, it all depends, Irma,
18:18on whether her idea
18:19of a happy ending
18:20is a rocking chair.
18:33Whee!
18:42Don't blow the ring
18:44till we drop another
18:45five thousand feet.
18:54No.
18:55No!
18:56No!
18:57What is it, dear?
18:58Have a nightmare?
18:59No, thanks.
19:00I just had one.
19:05I still don't get it, Boyle.
19:07We agreed on a foreclosure
19:08a week ago,
19:09and now you say
19:10nothing's been done.
19:11Well, you can both relax.
19:12You'll get your money back.
19:13Then you did sell
19:14them restaurant fixtures, right?
19:15Not exactly.
19:16I traded them in
19:17on some other equipment.
19:18Other equipment?
19:19What other equipment?
19:20Well, you'll see.
19:21Hold on a minute here, buddy.
19:22You're trying to tell us
19:23that goofy old broad
19:24is still around?
19:25She sure is.
19:26So how are we going
19:27to get our money back?
19:28Yes, how?
19:29How?
19:31That's how.
19:36Out of corner real sharp
19:37now, Lyle.
19:38You had too much
19:39weight on the front end,
19:40so I moved the handlebars
19:41back and fixed
19:42the cable ties.
19:43That's $53 cash.
19:46All right, who's next?
19:47Don't crowd.
19:48Dig a number
19:49for better service.
19:50I'll be darned.
19:52She's doing
19:53a fantastic business.
19:54We'll get our money
19:55back in no time.
19:56It was just a matter
19:57of finding the right
19:58line of work for her.
19:59Hi, Maude.
20:00How's it going?
20:01Groovy, lover.
20:02Groovy.
20:03Love your tattoo, Elvis.
20:05Let's go dancing tonight
20:06and see if I can
20:07wrap it up.
20:09But first,
20:10I gotta test drive
20:11this chopper.
20:14Everyone says
20:15she should act her age,
20:16and that's just
20:17what she's doing.
20:18You see, her real age
20:19is younger than all of us.
20:26Harry,
20:27since you're friendly
20:28with that nice old lady,
20:29we really should have
20:30invited her
20:31on our picnic.
20:32She could help me
20:33fix the seat
20:34on my motorcycle.
20:35I can't figure out
20:36why it's so uncomfortable.
20:37Well, maybe
20:38it's you, Chet.
20:39You know,
20:40you're not that used
20:41to sitting up.
20:42Oh, but it would
20:43have been nice.
20:44Irma,
20:45I got her squared away,
20:46so let's leave
20:47it at that.
20:48What I need now
20:49is some peace and quiet,
20:50and that's why
20:51I suggested the picnic
20:52to get away
20:53from that senior
20:54citizen sex bot
20:55for a change.
21:01Lover,
21:02it's you!
21:08Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada