An Honest Apology About Our Meat - Honest Apologies (Boar's Head Parody) - video Dailymotion

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At Boar's Head, we hear you. And we're sorry for causing a listeria outbreak. That's our bad.   CEO: Michael Strauss Written by: Michael Strauss Producers: Britt Migs and Michael Strauss Edited by: Gabrielle Williott Executive Producer: Gabrielle Williott  00:00 Jon Ham, CEO 00:12 Liverwurst with Listeria 00:30 69 Infractions 01:09 Listeria Hysteria 01:35 Liverbest 02:10 Boar's Head  #foodrecall #lawsuit #boarshead

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00:00Here at Boar's Head, the only thing more important to us than making high-quality,

00:03sodium-laden meat with little to absolutely no nutritional value is you. And that's why we'd

00:08like to apologize for selling thousands of units of liverwurst that were contaminated with Listeria.

00:13Especially if you're one of those nine people who lost their lives eating our delicious yet

00:17strangely wet meat products. We're sorry you died. We have launched a full investigation into how

00:21this could possibly happen. And guess what? Listeria does not come from feces. We know

00:26we washed our hands after this one. After 69 nice instances of non-compliance at the facility over

00:38the last year, I gotta say we made a whoopsie. And that's not a cool sandwich item at Jersey

00:42Mike's. I'm talking about mold, insects, and a liquid dripping from the ceilings right onto

00:45the meat. Turns out the mystery liquid wasn't flavor blasting the meat after all. So we've

00:50decided to close our factory in Virginia to assure our customers that we care. Sure, we have to close

00:54the plant indefinitely, literally cutting hundreds of workers like we're slicing up some Italian cold

00:58cuts. But that's because we want you to keep buying. And we need that in order to support

01:02the severance we'll be forced to pay by government decree. To get you back buying our meat products,

01:06we're proud to introduce Forest Head's newest promotion, Listeria Hysteria. Get half off all

01:11your meats at your local deli counter. You might die, but with the price of groceries being so high,

01:15we figured the least we could do is give you a discount. Who doesn't like a little risk while

01:18eating your processed foods anyway? Isn't that the American dream? Look, if the Listeria hasn't

01:22killed you by now, the sodium probably will anyway. Those assholes of the American Heart

01:25Association have been coming after me for years. Speaking of which, you'll probably be happy to

01:29know we are discontinuing the sale of Liverwurst. Instead, we'll be processing a new meat product,

01:34Liverbetter. It has no organic material and it's mostly just MSG, but it tastes great.

01:38And it's 99% sawdust, which means the chances of you getting Listeria will be slim to none.

01:43We had no idea the last administration's lack of inspection standards and ignoring years of

01:47health code violations would result in us discontinuing Liverwurst and creating an

01:51entirely new meat product altogether, but mark my words, sandwich eaters of the world,

01:56I assure you, the meat at your local deli counter is ready to eat. And again, for a limited time,

02:01it's half off. Don't let Listeria Hysteria tear you down. Instead, let it help you build a giant

02:064,000 calorie sandwich that you can barely fit in your mouth, just like in Scooby-Doo.

An Honest Apology About Our Meat - Honest Apologies (Boar's Head Parody)

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