Video Information: 14.06.2023, GSE, Greater Noida
Context:
~ What is the main purpose of a relationship?
~ Why do bad relationships happen?
~ How does the right relationship get nourishment?
~ What mistakes do we make in relationships?
~ What is our real purpose?
~ What is our real Love?
आत्मज्ञान के प्रकाश में, अंधे कर्म सब त्याग दो
निराश हो निर्मम बनो, तापरहित बस युद्ध हो
(Poetic meaning of the Gita verse by Acharya Prashant)
Bhagavad Gita - 3.30
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Context:
~ What is the main purpose of a relationship?
~ Why do bad relationships happen?
~ How does the right relationship get nourishment?
~ What mistakes do we make in relationships?
~ What is our real purpose?
~ What is our real Love?
आत्मज्ञान के प्रकाश में, अंधे कर्म सब त्याग दो
निराश हो निर्मम बनो, तापरहित बस युद्ध हो
(Poetic meaning of the Gita verse by Acharya Prashant)
Bhagavad Gita - 3.30
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Namaste Sir, so my question is about relationship, as you said that the main purpose of relationship
00:14is for liberation or the real relationship is that which helps in the liberation but
00:22in my life I see that there are both kinds of relationship, those which help me in the
00:30liberation and those which do not help me, which are like physical relationships or the
00:42relationships that I got by birth which I did not choose.
00:47So my question is how should I deal with those relationships which do not help me in liberation
01:00and you also said that there is nothing that doesn't have potential to assist you.
01:10So that means the relationships which are bodily relationships, they also have a potential
01:19to assist me in liberation.
01:22So like how I can?
01:25No, they will assist you by being no more.
01:32I did not say that stuff as it is will be helpful to you.
01:45There are things that are of use when you preserve them and maintain them and there
01:50are things that are of use when you throw them away.
01:57So I will be helpful to you by being no more.
02:04That's the way that thing will be of help to you and again the question is a bit wrongly
02:10framed again the thing is you are asking how do I deal with those relationships that are
02:16just physical, they have arisen out of lust or they are coming from birth.
02:23In all this, is there any remembrance of the love, the target?
02:34We said all relationships get their right place and right nourishment from their utility
02:41towards the target.
02:43If they are useful towards the target, they are alright.
02:47At no point are you talking of the target, you are still talking of the relationship
02:51only.
02:52Bad relationships, where do they arise from?
02:57They arise from a forgetfulness of the real target.
03:02When you forget the one that you must really reach, the result definitely will be bad relationships.
03:13If you have ever made a bad relationship, think of it.
03:17It would be in a moment when you have totally forgotten the real thing.
03:21If you remember the real thing, there is no way a bad relationship can happen to the
03:28extent that sometimes we just do not forget the real thing.
03:32We actually actively deceive the real thing so that a bad relationship can be raised.
03:43How then to rectify a relationship?
03:47Forget it.
03:48Remember the real thing.
03:50If you remember the real thing, the right relationship will get nourishment and the
03:58wrong one will shrivel down on its own.
04:01You don't need to hack down a wrong relationship.
04:07You just have to reaffirm your commitment to the right thing.
04:14Somebody asked me, how do I maintain the right circle of friends?
04:20Is it a wrong question?
04:23You move towards the right target.
04:26The ones who keep accompanying you are the right ones.
04:31Full stop.
04:33If you do not have anything for the right target, for the right destination and you
04:41just keep trying to filter your friends on some criteria, you will never succeed.
04:48Let the filtering be automatic.
04:52I am not filtering you.
04:55I am inviting everybody.
04:57I am going towards my target, my pilgrimage.
05:01I am inviting everybody to accompany me.
05:05Those who are right, you will find them by your side.
05:09Those who are wrong, they will drop by the wayside.
05:15Isn't that simple?
05:17And you will be relieved of the burden of filtering them.
05:24And you will be spared of the acquisition that you dropped them.
05:29I didn't drop you.
05:31I in fact invited you to accompany me.
05:34You decided not to accompany me.
05:38I am not shutting down my doors on your face.
05:43Just that when you arrive, I will not change the music.
05:52For your sake, I will not deceive or abandon my real love.
06:04Gita is the song.
06:12And I am listening to this song that I love.
06:18And you come to me.
06:21If you cannot tolerate Gita, you will live on your own.
06:26My job is not to flip the track.
06:32I will not say, oh now that you have come, let it be hip-hop.
06:36No, no.
06:39Chances are that fellow will not stand this.
06:47The moment you say, andhe karam sab tyag de, he will be gone.
06:52That's your job in life.
06:54Not to filter your relationships, but to stand committed to the real one.
07:01And those who will accompany you will then automatically be the right ones.
07:07We make this mistake.
07:09To maintain relationships, we wear masks.
07:12So in my solitude, it is Gita.
07:17And when that person arrives, I say no, no, no.
07:23Not by accident this one got turned on.
07:31Don't wear masks.
07:33Have that self-respect.
07:35That's what is dignity.
07:37This is who I am.
07:42And I will not exchange my truth for your sake.
07:51If you are alright with who I really am, let's be together.
07:59But don't ask me to drop my authenticity.
08:06Most of your existing relationships will fail this test.
08:12Because they are relationships between masks.
08:17You wear a mask and you expect the other to wear a mask.
08:22There is no fun.
08:24You do not even know the other's face.
08:27There is actually no relationship at all.
08:29How can two masks be related to each other?
08:37None of you have ever really seen each other.
08:41Get the symbolism please.
08:43You might be in a relationship since two decades.
08:46But you have never even once seen that person.
08:52Never.
08:56How can you see when they are?
08:59Interestingly, you cannot even kiss the other person.
09:03When masks try to kiss each other, all you get is friction and sparks.
09:09Plastic rubbing against plastic.
09:16And just for the heck of it, making some lustful noises.
09:29Forget relationships.
09:31Remember the real thing.
09:33The real thing will give you the right relationship.
09:39Forget the real thing.
09:41Your punishment will be that you will be saddled with an obnoxious relationship.
09:48Your punishment will be that you will bear that relationship for long now.
09:54Your internal cunningness will tell you see how smart I was.
09:58I deceived the real one.
10:02To pinch this relationship.
10:04Sir, you have not earned something.
10:12Even if you have earned something, it's a punishment.
10:15You have earned a punishment for yourself.
10:17You think you have brought home a goodie.
10:24The right relationship is in some way a blessing, a gift, prasad.
10:45Remember that one?
10:50Offer what you have at the yajna.
11:00And then what you get is prasad.
11:11Else you are a thief.
11:16You are a thief.
11:22The right relationship is prasad.
11:26Prasad is for pay.
11:32Yes.
11:36Acharya ji, from this answer I got to learn two things.
11:40Even though there are border relationships, but I never try to use them for the liberation.
11:47And second thing is about the mask.
11:49So yes, I use the mask many times.
11:53Many times I have skipped the Gita sessions as well.
11:57Never someone asked me where were you.
12:02You know there is something worse than skipping the Gita session for a relationship.
12:07It is to attend the Gita session for a relationship.
12:11I have seen such cases.
12:21It is obviously bad if you skip the Gita session for a relationship.
12:26It is far worse to come to the Gita session for a relationship.
12:31Just a follow up on this.
12:41I use a mask.
12:43I don't want to show them that I listen to Bhagavad Gita.
12:56Also many times I show them that I do not get affected by anything.
13:03I do not get affected by what you say.
13:07So this is the kind of behavior which contradicts each other.
13:23My teacher told me,
13:29You do the right thing.
13:31The right ones will come to you.
13:37And if there is someone for whom you have to drop the right thing,
13:43that person is surely not right for you.
13:52You want to know who is not right for you?
13:55The one who drags you away from the right thing.
14:00Full stop.
14:06Never make this mistake in relationships.
14:18Never.
14:20Never compromise on your authenticity for the sake of maintaining a relationship.
14:27Never.
14:29Let the truth be the truth.
14:37Let the first be the first.
14:42No compromises there.
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