Video Information: 18.07.2022, BITS Pilani, Goa
Context:
How to maintain a good relationship?
What is the right time to be into a relationship?
What is relationship?
How to make relationship healthy?
When and how a relationship turns into a toxic relationship?
How to choose a life partner?
What is real love?
Is live-in relationship sign of degradation of our culture?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Context:
How to maintain a good relationship?
What is the right time to be into a relationship?
What is relationship?
How to make relationship healthy?
When and how a relationship turns into a toxic relationship?
How to choose a life partner?
What is real love?
Is live-in relationship sign of degradation of our culture?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Pranam Sir, I am Ram Surendra Singh, Researcher Scholar from Mathematics Department. Sir like
00:18now we all are here like we all are dealing on like a physical matter here, but like if
00:26we see a like periodic table, chemistry periodic table. So, all the elements in there and if
00:32someone know like how to play with that element, they can all create like the whole universe
00:37in that just a matter of some addition of electron and some less electron in that present
00:42everything is same. So, if we go like on below that then it is like everything is proton
00:48electron and neutron and again we go down say it is like quark. So, you are also like
00:53a quark, we are also like a quark, everyone is quark some with positive charge or some
00:58charge is different. Then why like if everything is same then why we have like a hatred and
01:04jealousy and ego among ourselves only and the position authority they are biased towards
01:11some kinds of people. So, why it is like that? If everything is one then why it is like that?
01:19See there is somebody who is the quark, the quark itself is not the quark. Does
01:29a quark ever say I am a quark? Does an electron or a proton ever declare its identity? Ever heard
01:43protons, neutrons or electrons shouting I am E, N or P? Or an electron saying I want
01:53to progress in life by jumping to a higher orbital? S is not good enough so D, P, F.
02:02Ever found an ambitious electron in life? No. That's where that particular one comes in who
02:13says I am the electron. This I-ness is missing in the objective universe as you see it. This
02:21is a table. The table never says I am a table. But then there is somebody, somebody like me
02:28or you who says I am the owner of the table. Now the table has an active identity. Now there
02:35is somebody who is identified with the table. So while objectively as you see it, it might be true
02:43that each of us is just the elemental particles or waves. But then where is consciousness in this
02:55statement? What is consciousness? That which declares I-ness. I, I, I. So you said if we all
03:10are same in terms of our elemental, fundamental constitution, then why do we fight with each
03:19other? Why is there strife or hatred or differences? Because the one who is the
03:24quark is not satisfied being the quark. You are somebody. Are you okay with being what you are
03:33right now? No, you are not okay. He is somebody, she is somebody. None of us are contented. We
03:42are identified with something material like the quark or the table or the BMW car. They all belong
03:51to the same dimension in terms of their materiality. We are identified with something. I am a man,
03:57I am a woman, I am a student, I am a topper, I am a laggard, I am rich, I am poor, I am handsome,
04:02I am short, I am knowledgeable, I am a seeker, I am a good sportsperson. Irrespective of what
04:11you say about yourself, including I am a quark, you are not alright being what you are. You declare
04:19you are a billionaire. Does that satisfy you fully? That does not. Or you could turn very
04:26knowledgeable and declare I am a quark. Does even that satisfy you fully? It does not. So we are not
04:33happy being what we are. We want to be something else. We do not know what we should become so
04:39that we can be happy and satisfied. Each of us is trying to become something. Each of us is trying
04:47to become something. Nobody is stable, contended, relaxed, retired, absolutely at peace, being where
04:56he or she is. So there is that constant inner dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. We want
05:05to be somewhere, we try hard to be there and we find that our efforts are going fruitless. So there
05:14then is frustration within. Then there is somebody else sitting next to me. This person too is an
05:21object that can be potentially used by me so that I become somebody else. For example, you are a boy
05:28and a girl is sitting next to you. How do you become a boyfriend from a boy? You are a mere
05:36boy and there is a girl sitting next to you. How now do you become? The important word is becoming.
05:43Now how do you become a boyfriend from a mere boy? For this you will have to use the object
05:50sitting next to you, the girl. Once the girl agrees, you find you have graduated to being
05:56a boyfriend from just being a boy. So now you have to use that object next to you. That object
06:03is a conscious being. That object has some will of her own. But for you to satisfy your urge to
06:11become somebody else, you will have to use her and objectify her and she may not want that. And
06:20there is conflict. Are you getting it? Let us say all of you are participating in some kind of quiz
06:28contest here and there is a trophy to be taken. Let us say this is the trophy. This says I am
06:34Hamdabad written on it. So not too bad as a trophy. And this is waiting here to be captured
06:41and taken home. All of you think that if you become, note the word become, all of you think
06:48that if you become the holder of this trophy, that will give you satisfaction. That is how it
06:53happens. But can all of you become the owner of this trophy? No. One of you will take it home
07:00and the others will probably smolder inside. So then there is conflict. Becoming, therefore you
07:10see, begets conflicts in a lot of ways. Whatever you are currently, since that is not sufficient,
07:23so you want to become somebody else. And the entire process of becoming is a process of
07:30conflict. Unfortunately, instead of understanding where we stand, our education system, our social
07:38system, the entire culture gives a lot of importance to becoming, which is a game of
07:44ambition. So all of us want to reach somewhere. You have targets in life and you are hustlers,
07:50you want to be quickly reached there. Is that not what we want? There is a place and if it
07:57is to be reached, I better reach there fast. Now I do not know where I am standing. How do
08:03I know where I need to reach? Is that logical enough? And if you do not know where to reach,
08:13how do you know the path to take? When you want to reach somewhere and you set your GPS,
08:20it asks for two things. What are the two things it asks for? It asks for the place you want to
08:28go to and also there is something called your location. Remember that? Remember that? In the
08:36Maps app, your location. If you do not know your location, can any map in the world help you?
08:42When it comes to your physical location, the satellite suffices. The satellite will tell you
08:50what your location is even if you do not know. But when it comes to your mental station,
08:56where you are as an individual here inside, no GPS or app or satellite can help you. That
09:04you have to know. And only when you know where you are, then you can know where you need to reach.
09:12Is this getting too heavy or too fast for you? Do you see how we are going? We all are carrying
09:23identities and each of these identities comes from identification with a certain object. So,
09:33when you say, for example, you are a boy, what is the object you are identified with? The male
09:39body. Since you say I am the male body, so you entitle yourself to say I am a boy. When you say
09:48I am rich, for example, there is some object you are identified with. What is that object? Money.
09:55Tell me of something else. Give me an identity statement. Give me an identity statement,
10:02please. I am a Hindu. There is something objective you are identified with. In religion,
10:06there are books, there are practices, there are beliefs. All these are objects. You understand
10:12an object? Anything worldly that you can talk of is called an object. That is the definition.
10:17So, any identity statement involves deep association with an object and that is the
10:24reason why the entire world is running after objects. That's why there is so much crowd in
10:29shopping malls because they carry lot of lucrative objects and we are hungry inside,
10:36not physically, but mentally. We need something to associate ourselves with,
10:42so lovable that it will give us a final satisfaction. Nothing gives that to us. So,
10:48we continue to run without ever coming to a halt and ultimately we find that our days are over and
10:57we are dead. The entire life spent in hustling without ever really reaching. Do you see this?
11:09This that we are within, that is hungry for satisfaction, you could call as the ego or the
11:19mind or the consciousness. These two are not exact synonyms of each other, but for your purpose as
11:27beginners, it suffices to take them as one, the ego, the mind or the consciousness. That's the
11:36hungry thing inside. So, whenever you say we are just a quark or panch bhoot or I am just the soil,
11:45that's not really right to say. Because if you are just material, then the material exists even
11:54after death. Does it not? Does the weight of a person change immediately upon dying? No,
12:03material exists even then. Surely there is something beyond the material that you are,
12:07something beyond the material that looks through these material eyes. The eyes are material,
12:14but there is something beyond material within that is looking out through the eyes. Can pure
12:21material ever love? Can material cry? Can material deeply long for something? It's all right. The
12:33body is material, but then there is something within that is not material. It is not material,
12:41but it is heavily discontented. It is unfulfilled and it wants fulfillment and it does not know how
12:52to get there. So in its lack of knowledge, what does it do? It tries all kinds of material possible,
13:02including narcotics, drugs, because they too are just objects, substances. So you try even that,
13:11say maybe this will satisfy me, maybe that will satisfy me, money might satisfy me,
13:16entertainment, excitement, drugs, knowledge, power, sex, sports, whatever, you name it.
13:25Man has tried everything. Tourism, vanderlust, you are getting it? It is extremely important to
13:38study that, that which you really are, a thirsty consciousness. While walking in,
13:46I was discussing the Honorable Dean here, that entire education system is focusing exclusively
13:56on objects. We know so much about, for example, this mic. We know not a thing about the consciousness
14:07that speaks to this mic. We know about the eyes. We have studied this piece of flesh brilliantly,
14:16all about anatomy, we can cure most of its diseases and we can also replace the retina,
14:23for example, and we have goggles, we have specs, you name it. And we have extensions of eyes called
14:31massive telescopes that can look deep into the space as well. Those are just extensions of eyes.
14:39So, objectively, we know so much, but we do not know a thing about the one who looks out
14:46through the eyes. Tell me, who is the one taking in information through the eyes? Who is the one?
14:53Do we know him? Not that he is male. This is just a way of saying. Please tell me,
15:06who is the one so eager to look out through the eyes that the eyes keep rolling continuously?
15:13Are the eyes ever stable? The eyes are looking this way, that way. What are the eyes really
15:19looking for? Our education system puts no emphasis on that. So, the result is that we know a lot
15:29about the objective world, but we know very little about ourselves. And what happens then?
15:36Then what is possible is that let us say these are top class gadgets. I know how to make them,
15:43but just because I have them, will I know what use to put them to? Please tell me.
15:53Objective education can reveal to you the secrets of the atom and how to generate atomic energy.
16:03But can nuclear physics also teach you what use to put nuclear energy to? Will that teach you that?
16:15No. Now connect that to your point on hatred and strife. If lack of understanding of the self
16:28continues, the result is inner dissatisfaction which manifests as frustration and hatred. Add
16:37to that the tremendous objective knowledge you have. Now tell me, what will you do with nuclear
16:43energy? You know so much about the atom. You very well know that even a fraction of the mass of the
16:53proton, if converted into energy, becomes huge. Right? Not too many atoms are required to flatten
17:08an entire city. A few moles will suffice, just a few moles, and an entire city is gone. Will
17:18nuclear physics ever teach you to not to destroy a city? Neither can ethics and morality. Because
17:32ethics and morality are superimpositions. They too are just objective knowledge. They come from
17:37outside. What you need is education that takes you inwards and you come to know who you are. You
17:46come to see jealousy within. You come to see fear and dissatisfaction within. You come to see an
17:53incompleteness within. And when you observe it, you learn about it. When you learn about it,
17:59there is a way to be free of it. I am getting it. Please keep interrupting because I might
18:11just get carried away. Yes? So while you explore the sub-genre of de-associating with oneself,
18:21what, there are some basic needs and necessities which you can't de-associate because they are
18:28means of survival. So can you just justify what should we do about that? No, those needs obviously
18:35have to be fulfilled. So we need air, we need water, we need food, we need clothes, we need
18:41shelter. We also need basic physical security. I don't think we can have this conversation if we
18:48know that lions and pythons and anacondas are prowling about in the vicinity. So all those
18:56things are there and we better take care of them. But don't you think that as mankind, we have
19:04already attained that kind of basic physical security for ourselves? Don't you think? How
19:13many of you are afraid of being eaten up by a lion for example? Around a thousand years back,
19:27that used to be a concern. Snakes used to be a big concern. Basic food security used to be
19:34a concern because you were dependent totally on monsoons, rains and other caprices of nature.
19:41Today, all those things are guaranteed. In developed countries, you even have social
19:48security. Even in India, gradually we are developing some kind of social security. So
19:55even if you are diseased or old or unemployed, you are taken care of to some extent at least.
20:03Even if the state isn't coming forward, you obviously have your family and friends. So I
20:09think that kind of basic security we all already have. At least you people have that in abundance.
20:15You don't have to worry about basics. You don't have to think about where the next meal would
20:23come from. So that's fine. Now, fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, we are standing at a point
20:33where we have to fulfil our mental needs. And if those mental needs are not wisely fulfilled,
20:43then we'll go bonkers as we already are. And there would be massive destruction that you
20:54are already witnessing in the form of climate change, biodiversity loss, mental disease epidemic
21:01and many other things.