Video Information: 09.09.2022, Vedant Mahotsav, IISc Bangalore
Context:
~ How to come out of a toxic relationship?
~ What to do if my spouse beats me?
~ How to tackle violence in a relationship?
~ Why are people afraid to move on?
~ Why do we get into abusive marriages?
~ Who are our mentors today?
~ What is the impact of movies you watch?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Context:
~ How to come out of a toxic relationship?
~ What to do if my spouse beats me?
~ How to tackle violence in a relationship?
~ Why are people afraid to move on?
~ Why do we get into abusive marriages?
~ Who are our mentors today?
~ What is the impact of movies you watch?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00We are forcefully made to believe that the purpose of life is to chase a man or a woman
00:16and the highest possible ideal is to spend time or life with some nice and right person.
00:28That is what you also call as settling down.
00:33Now that ideal is ingrained in our minds from a very very early age and it refuses to leave
00:41us even after we turn 80 or 90.
00:48What is life for?
00:50Life is not for a noble cause, life is not for liberation, life is not for knowledge,
00:59life is not for exploration.
01:03Life is so that you can have somebody's hand in your hand.
01:11Life is for romance, right?
01:19Life is when you have that right and perfect person with you, next to you, that's when
01:29life is right.
01:30It becomes impossible for us to even imagine a life that is not welded to somebody else's.
01:44What else is welding?
01:53That's why so much fire is there.
02:05It sounds scary if you imagine, if I tell you, you have to spend your life without being
02:14hitched to some person of the other gender.
02:19Most of us will start feeling scared.
02:25I can understand the situation of those who are already welded but even those who are
02:32fortunate enough to not yet have been welded, even they will start feeling scared.
02:44Oh my God, what a scary vision, all alone, what will happen to me?
02:53Where did this feeling come from?
02:57Definitely this feeling is not coming from the body.
03:02Definitely this feeling is not prakritic or genetic.
03:08Because this kind of feeling is not found in animals.
03:15Animals do form pairs but only for a while and then they go their own way till the next
03:25mating season, they are away.
03:34This kind of a welded relationship, this concept does not exist in prakriti.
03:41So surely it is coming from the society, not biology.
03:47And from where in society is it coming?
03:50It is coming from our avenues of entertainment.
04:00Songs, you go to YouTube, which is the most watched YouTube channel across the world.
04:12And what do you watch there?
04:14Songs.
04:15And what are those songs necessarily about?
04:20Man and woman, man and woman, man and woman, man and woman.
04:26The entire world is watching that.
04:30That particular channel is in Hindi.
04:33But even otherwise, east or west, that's what we are constantly crooning, where is my man,
04:41where is my woman, where is my man, where is my woman.
04:50So that's the reason why the day you turn 12, you actually start looking for a partner.
04:59I have heard kids of age 6 and 8 have boyfriends and girlfriends these days.
05:08That's because this mass culture through media is now reaching them even earlier.
05:16They all have mobile phones.
05:19So even they are thinking that the highest thing possible in life is a boyfriend or girlfriend.
05:28And if you have that, then you have arrived.
05:32You have succeeded.
05:38With that kind of ideal, how will you ever have the courage to walk alone?
05:49And when I say walk alone, that does not mean that you cannot be in a relationship.
05:56When I say walk alone, that means being free of the compulsion to be in a relationship.
06:04These are two very different things.
06:06You can be in a relationship out of your freedom.
06:10It is an expression of your freedom that you are in a relationship.
06:14That is possible, right?
06:15Since I am free, hence out of my choice I am in a relationship.
06:20But that's not the case very often.
06:25Most of us are in relationships not because of freedom but because of compulsion.
06:34And that's the reason why we have so many husband-wife jokes.
06:39Otherwise how can there be something to joke about in that?
06:43You don't have mother-son jokes.
06:45You don't have brother-sister jokes.
06:47Why do you have so many husband-wife jokes?
06:51Just to mitigate the suffering a little.
06:56Just to be able to laugh at your own sorry situation a little.
07:02Isn't the mother-son bond an important one?
07:10Why don't you have mother-son jokes then?
07:13Why only husband-wife jokes?
07:17Because without joking it will be even more difficult to tolerate.
07:36This institution has ruined so many people and continues to do that on a daily basis,
07:43especially women.
07:45Here we have a man stating his predicament and suffering.
07:54But this institution has been equally if not more harsh upon women.
08:04Because they are even more scared to step out.
08:10How is it possible for a simple, normal, average, powerless lady like me to survive all alone
08:26in this big, bad, bullying world?
08:32So she will tolerate all kinds of nonsense and abuse and violence, but will stay put.
08:40And she will say, you know, I am doing it for the integrity of the family and welfare of the kids.
08:54Same goes for men, because now women are as nastily empowered as men used to be.
09:05So they are as nastily exploitative as well.
09:18Finally get into your own mind and ask yourself, who has taught you to put up with daily abuse
09:27and humiliation?
09:32Who declared that to be your destiny?
09:39Who is that script writer?
09:46Who is this decree that cannot be reversed?
10:01Why must you act as if you are helpless and powerless?
10:08Why must you behave as if there is no choice?