Nate | Barstool Rundown
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00:00So when I was a kid, I used to collect my dad's toenails.
00:02That what?
00:03For what?
00:05Like, my dad, he was notorious.
00:06He would have such long toenails.
00:08But you just-
00:09And my mom would, my mom had to cut them for him.
00:11And like, it was like a big thing.
00:12It was a big thing in this community.
00:14Cutting your dad's toenails was a family event.
00:16It was a family event.
00:18It was like, oh, it's been two, three months.
00:20Like, it's time to cut daddy's toenails.
00:21Oh my.
00:22My mom.
00:26It's The Rundown, Thursday, February 13th.
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00:50It adds a perfect amount of wetness, is what I've been saying, which isn't the greatest
00:54way to describe it, but that's what it is.
00:56Moist?
00:57Moisture?
00:58That was a funny time when we just wouldn't say the word moist.
01:01People were like, I hate it.
01:04Was that a time?
01:05Oh yeah.
01:06Oh yeah.
01:07Maybe it wasn't before you.
01:08Is there a new word that we aren't allowed to say?
01:11Um.
01:15Think of a few.
01:18Most of them are back.
01:21I have a question.
01:23I am in this predicament where I cannot buy underwear that fits me correctly.
01:28I've spent my entire life and it's, yeah, last week I was on the road for like 10 days
01:33and so I brought 20 pairs of boxers or briefs and I ran out of all of them so I had to go
01:37buy some and now I'm wearing new ones that are just fucking, they're just fucking strangling
01:43me.
01:44Fights.
01:45No joke.
01:46I was like, man, if we could talk about this on the run, that'd be great.
01:48I've been going through this problem too.
01:49Under my desk, I have like a million pairs of boxers that I've been trying out.
01:52I can't find any that don't, and then they're like, I've tried every size, like maybe it's
01:56the size and they just keep rolling up and rolling right up.
01:59Yeah.
02:00It's like I'm wearing a thong.
02:01It's just a nightmare.
02:02It's a night.
02:03I don't know what to do.
02:04Huh?
02:05You don't have that problem?
02:06I fit okay.
02:07I mean, I have two different pairs of boxers.
02:09I have the tight, like briefs where it's like, if I'm going out, you know, maybe a lady's
02:13going to see them.
02:14Then you wear that.
02:15If I'm like going out, if there's no chance anyone else sees my boxers, I wear like the
02:18very loose fitting.
02:19Really?
02:20Straight up boxers.
02:21That's nuts.
02:22They're so much more comfortable.
02:23No, dude.
02:24They're all bunched everywhere.
02:26It's like the same thing as Tommy.
02:27Like the ones that like just hang loose are so much easier to wear, but they're way more
02:31embarrassing to wear.
02:32Sleep, sure.
02:33I sleep, I sleep naked, but, uh, I'd get tire tracks all over my shoes.
02:40Yeah.
02:41Heavens to Betsy.
02:42All right.
02:43I sleep naked and I wipe my ass.
02:44I wipe my ass too, but I have a tire tracks problem.
02:47So I went, I went, cause I couldn't find boxes that fit.
02:49I just went for a whole year of just going commando basically.
02:52Really?
02:53That's what I was doing.
02:54So I went commando for a little while.
02:55And then I was like, I can't keep up this.
02:56This is nuts.
02:57So I went and got fucking briefs that just don't fit.
03:01Then people were like, we can just see your penis.
03:03I was like, well, it's kind of a you problem.
03:05It doesn't really affect me or bother me.
03:07But uh, yeah, it's, it's a nice fucking hog, but it puts me in a bad mood when I'm wearing
03:12these, these underwear that are so uncomfortable and I'm just like, I'm adjusting them all
03:16the time.
03:17I'm essentially wearing a cock ring right now, just a bunch of fabric just wrapped around
03:21my dick.
03:22Anyway, let's do the rundown.
03:24If anyone can fix that, let us know.
03:26Uh, yeah.
03:27Reese's brought to you by them.
03:29First topic on the rundown, a woman on a New York city subway had a baby at around noon.
03:36A couple of days ago, people were on the subway.
03:39They heard a woman just saying, help, help, help.
03:42And she says having a baby.
03:45My question to you guys is you guys ride the subway.
03:48You see this going on.
03:49Are you helping out?
03:50Yeah.
03:51Just in case if the cameras come out, I'm helping.
03:54If I could be in a TikTok, is that Tommy helping someone deliver a baby?
03:58Like I wouldn't be, I wouldn't have my hands in her badge, but I would be like, maybe like
04:02patting her on the back.
04:03Like, are you okay?
04:04We could do this.
04:05Yeah.
04:06Like that type of, yeah.
04:07That that's a dream.
04:08Hold my hand.
04:09I wouldn't know how to do it.
04:10So I'd be like on the other end, like working her like a toothpaste tube.
04:14Just trying to push her sternum and see if that pushes it out.
04:21That's like the dream way to be a hero on a subway.
04:24I don't want it to be a hero on a subway.
04:25I got to like fight a homeless man or something like that's not the type of hero I want to
04:29be.
04:30I want to be a hero.
04:31It's like, oh, wow.
04:32He's helping this woman give her emotional support.
04:33What a King.
04:34I have to have sex with her.
04:35I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often too.
04:38Yeah.
04:39Really?
04:40I mean, what, like 6 million people take the subway every day?
04:42Probably more than that.
04:43How many of them are pregnant?
04:45It feels like this never happens.
04:47This feels it should happen with somewhat regularly.
04:50I agree.
04:51I feel like, yeah, and you know, just a pure numbers thing.
04:57Some people go early.
04:58You should have at least 10 of these stories a year.
05:01I was going to say monthly, but yeah, 10 works.
05:03So just about the same.
05:0410 or 12.
05:05Yeah.
05:06It's a pretty regular thing.
05:07I feel like, or it should be at least.
05:08I feel like I wouldn't, I wouldn't help out.
05:10Like if it's an old person, I love helping out old people.
05:12That's easy.
05:13You help them up over like a step or something and like, come on, hold my arm.
05:17This one there's blood involved.
05:18This old lady in a bunch of grocery bags.
05:20And she was like going down like this.
05:23And I went to have someone beat me to help on her.
05:25Some guy beat me to help.
05:26You shoved that guy away.
05:28Yeah.
05:29I was like, that could have been me.
05:30I think the weirdest thing I actually saw on a subway recently was this guy, like clipping
05:33his nails.
05:34That to me, I would rather have a guy take a fucking shit than clip his nails.
05:39Because he did it like perfect.
05:41He was like, it wasn't a homeless guy.
05:42Like he was a guy.
05:43It looks like he was going to work or something like clip it.
05:46You brought a nail clipper out of your house and said, I'm going to clip my nails on the
05:50subway.
05:51You should be in jail.
05:52Clipping your nails anywhere outside the bathroom, I think is fucking deranged.
05:55I saw a guy do that at the Indianapolis airport.
05:57He was just doing it and letting it all fall on the ground.
05:59He thought no one was around at 6am watching him.
06:02I was watching him and he made eye contact with me and was like embarrassed.
06:05Like, oh God, what do I do?
06:06He saw that.
06:07And I was like, yeah, motherfucker.
06:08I got you.
06:09I fucking got you.
06:10You clip your fingernails into the sink, your toenails into the toilet.
06:13That's how I do it.
06:14I do my toenails.
06:16I like sit on the toilet when I clip my toenails, clip them onto the ground, then pick them
06:20up and throw them out.
06:22I mean, that's very nice of you, but just the image of like having to pick up nails
06:26off the ground.
06:27Not that bad.
06:28I used to, when I was a kid, I used to collect my dad's toenails.
06:30What?
06:31For what?
06:33Like my dad, he was notorious.
06:35He would have such long toenails and my mom would, my mom had to cut them for him.
06:40And like, it was like a big thing.
06:41It was a big thing in this community.
06:42Cutting your dad's toenails was a family event.
06:45It was a family event.
06:46It was like, oh, it's been two, three months.
06:48Like it's time to cut daddy's toenails.
06:49Oh my.
06:50My mom.
06:51You want to say all this?
06:53My mom would cut them and like I'd put them in a little cup that I got my dad to get the
06:57long toenails.
06:58What the fuck?
06:59What the fuck, Tommy?
07:00What the fuck?
07:01For just to look at?
07:02It was awesome.
07:03He had such long toenails.
07:04Oh.
07:05What did you do with them?
07:06That?
07:07Nothing.
07:08Do you still have them somewhere?
07:09No, no, they're gone.
07:10But I think I would just, I don't know exactly where I'd put them, but it was a big event
07:13in my family.
07:14That's so weird.
07:15No.
07:16That really ruined my day.
07:17Where did you do it at?
07:18I didn't like that at all.
07:19And like he would lay down in bed.
07:22What dude?
07:24So your dad would lay in bed, your mom would call young Tommy up, she would straddle him
07:30supposedly?
07:31No, no, no, no.
07:32Like he'd put his feet up at the end of the bed on like a little wooden perch and then
07:36she'd be, you know, in a chair or whatever.
07:38And he'd be running around just catching fly balls.
07:41And I'd be like, wow, look how long these are.
07:44It's a had to be there type situation.
07:47I don't know, man.
07:48Your dad lived like a king.
07:49Yeah.
07:50Yeah.
07:51Lay down in bed and have their toes clipped.
07:52How often would it happen?
07:53It sounds like-
07:54Every couple months, a few months.
07:55Because they'd get long.
07:56Yeah.
07:57Every couple months is crazy.
07:58Yeah.
07:59Well, that's the beauty of it.
08:02God damn, that sucked.
08:04I was going to say I used to clip them outside on like the back porch into the grass.
08:08Was that weird?
08:10But that's not as weird as it is right now.
08:13It's not as weird, but it's abnormal.
08:16On a summer day, I'd go outside on my parents' back porch and just, that was freedom.
08:20Clip them into the grass.
08:21We work with a bunch of god damn sickos.
08:23You don't think that's normal, do you?
08:25I don't think it's normal.
08:26I don't think it's like, I think you guys are overblowing it a little.
08:29No, no.
08:30We're not overblowing the quarterly cutting of your father's toenails that was a family
08:34issue.
08:35It must be an Italian thing.
08:36It's an Italian thing.
08:37Do you want that?
08:38Like-
08:39No, it stays.
08:40It stays.
08:41It has to stay.
08:42Tommy would collect his father's toenails and thought it was fun.
08:43Put them in a cup.
08:44In a cup.
08:45To collect them.
08:46What kind of cup?
08:47Like a souvenir cup?
08:48No, like one of the little white cups you'd use to like when you brush your teeth.
08:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:50Oh, God.
08:51Grab the wrong ones.
08:52Jesus Christ.
08:53What's the next topic?
08:54Yeah.
08:55Dudes rock.
08:56Two guys meet at a bar, exchange numbers, post their texts.
08:57We're the only list.
08:58We're the only list.
08:59We're the only list.
09:00We're the only list.
09:01We're the only list.
09:02We're the only list.
09:03We're the only list.
09:04We're the only list.
09:05We're the only list.
09:06We're the only list.
09:07We're the only list.
09:08We're the only list.
09:09We're the only list.
09:10We're the only list.
09:11We're the only list.
09:12We're the only list.
09:13We're the only list.
09:14We're the only list.
09:15We're the only list.
09:16We're the only list.
09:17We're the only list.
09:18We're the only list.
09:19We're the only list.
09:20We're the only list.
09:21We're the only list.
09:22We're the only list.
09:23We're the only list.
09:24We're the only list.
09:25We're the only list.
09:26We're the only list.
09:27We're the only list.
09:28We're the only list.
09:29We're the only list.
09:30We're the only list.
09:31We're the only list.
09:32Part of it is the fact that I can't do this anymore.
09:34There was a time in my life where I could, yeah, you could start listing athletes and
09:37I'd be able to hit you with every college and shit, but I don't fucking know anymore.
09:40Yeah, it's just, it's, I don't know, it's a fun five-minute activity maybe, but like,
09:45just a lot.
09:46Imagine if you met-
09:47All guys talk about is where players went to college.
09:50I don't know.
09:51Get a hobby.
09:52Kick your dad's toe.
09:53Have a pen pal across the country and you're pinging guys back and forth.
09:55Like again, if they're early 20s, which I assume they are, that's fun.
09:59But the, if I, like, at this day and age in my life, if some stranger I met in a bar
10:05just kept texting me random names, I'd be like, dude, shut the fuck up.
10:08And this guy, the world needs to see this.
10:10I bet this whole story's fucking fake.
10:13I bet these guys are already friends and they said, these tweets go viral all the time.
10:16Let's pretend like we met at a bar across the country, blah, blah, blah.
10:20The guy, the guy's saying I've never, he posted it on Twitter and he's like, I've never been
10:23called gay more times in my life.
10:26That tracks.
10:27Yeah, I don't know.
10:28It's fun to, fun to reminisce.
10:30I went to a bar and an IU Indiana bar and there was a guy that was like my age and we
10:35were just talking like 03 to 08 IU basketball and we'd just be like AJ Ratliff and we'd
10:40just go, oh yeah, yeah.
10:41That was nice.
10:42But we were just sitting at the bar having a beer and yeah, that was good.
10:46But to be pen pals with someone across the country, that's a little, a little much.
10:50I saw like a Patriots account I followed the other day tweet like name a random Patriot
10:54all star and that fucking shit sucks too.
10:58Shut up.
10:59Again, if you like having fun with your friends and doing it, I encourage it, but I'm all
11:04set.
11:05Yeah, this sickens me.
11:06I also, whenever they're like name a random Patriot and they're just like Mike Vrabel,
11:10it's like, well, that's not really random, he's pretty well known.
11:12It's gotta be.
11:13If we're playing Lawrence Maroney came to mind.
11:19Ben Jarvis Greenellis.
11:20Yeah.
11:21Yeah.
11:22Oh yeah.
11:24Caught it.
11:25All right.
11:26Next.
11:27No.
11:28Ben Watson.
11:29All right.
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12:16Speaking of athletes, no one gives a shit about topic three.
12:21Anthony Rendon is ready for a comeback for the ages.
12:24Just kidding.
12:25He's getting hip surgery, right?
12:26As pitchers and catchers are reporting to spring training and he's going to miss a ton
12:29of time.
12:30Damn, dude.
12:31Yeah.
12:32Bad contract.
12:33This is what I was saying.
12:34This is what I was saying.
12:37This guy is a true piece of shit.
12:38He really is.
12:39Anthony Rendon.
12:40Is he?
12:41Yeah.
12:42Like he just he's the worst contract ever and he just doesn't care.
12:45He like is it's like whatever you get hurt a lot.
12:47That's fine.
12:48I think people will be like, oh, he's, you know, just phoning it in.
12:51You got to respect it now.
12:52Is that he's a piece of shit.
12:53Is that his fault or is it the team that signed him?
12:57He seems to genuinely like just hate playing baseball.
12:59Right.
13:00He has no remorse.
13:01Did he play for the nationals?
13:02Yeah.
13:03You won a championship.
13:04That's what I remember.
13:05I was like, wait a minute.
13:06$250 deal with the angels.
13:07And I think he's played like 10 games.
13:10Yeah.
13:11I'm always amazed when people are like, this guy doesn't care.
13:13It's just, it's just a job to him.
13:15It's like, well, yeah, we're fans.
13:16Of course we love the sport.
13:17This guy just was really good at baseball.
13:18He's like, yeah, I guess I'll sign for $250 million.
13:21And then he's like, oh, whatever.
13:24They're still going to pay me.
13:25Okay.
13:26Yeah.
13:27But I don't know.
13:28I always think that's different when people are like, oh, you can't blame an athlete for
13:31just treating it as a job.
13:32He's not an accountant.
13:33An accountant can treat a job just as a job.
13:36There's nobody rooting for him and really relying on him.
13:38When you're an athlete, it's another story.
13:40You have millions of fans and like people that support you.
13:43And I don't know.
13:44Yeah.
13:45You do.
13:46You do have people that rely on you.
13:47You should care more.
13:48No, I agree with that.
13:49The fan base.
13:50Yeah.
13:51You have an obligation to the fan base.
13:52But from his point of view, he doesn't, it's just a job that he doesn't give a shit about.
13:55No, he's an asshole.
13:56Yeah.
13:57That's all I got.
13:58Yeah.
13:59We like the angel's chances.
14:00Pete Davidson.
14:01Is he still hot without his tattoos?
14:02If you guys have walked by Madison Square Garden, there's just billboards of Pete Davidson
14:03in his underwear.
14:04Maybe that's the underwear we need to be fucking wearing.
14:05But he's gotten rid of all of his tattoos.
14:06He was on fire.
14:07He was on fire.
14:08He was on fire.
14:09He was on fire.
14:10He was on fire.
14:11He was on fire.
14:12He was on fire.
14:13Yeah.
14:14He's still hot without his fucking tattoos.
14:15He's still hot without his fucking wearing.
14:16But he's gotten rid of all of his tattoos.
14:17He was on Fallon the other night and was like, yeah, before you get your Game of Thrones
14:20tattoo, maybe think about it.
14:25I don't have much of a take on whether Pete Davidson's hot or not.
14:30He looks fine, I think.
14:31I love that Keegs, it feels like, has kind of been living like 2016 Barstool.
14:40Like, you know what I mean, like she's in just like,
14:43she's been, she's got, this blog, like,
14:45is Pete Davis still hot?
14:46That's like, is Kylie Jenner still hot
14:48without her lip injections?
14:49And then her, the battle she's been in on Twitter
14:52is unbelievable.
14:54It's so awesome.
14:55Swifty Civil War.
14:56Oh, the Swifty.
14:57Just where like, it's literally like fights.
14:59She was on KS radio today,
15:00so I've had this conversation with her face as well.
15:02But it's like, it's just like,
15:05it's a joke, she made a joke that is a nothing joke,
15:09is whatever, but Swifty's got really mad about it.
15:11And now it's just like,
15:12you guys are lunatics making Swift your whole life.
15:15Yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:17Yeah.
15:18Yeah.
15:19Yeah.
15:20I think she, yeah.
15:20I mean, we talked about it, not at length,
15:22but we talked about it for a while.
15:23We're just like, yeah, no, I've been in that fight before.
15:25Where it's just like a dumb joke about Taylor and Travis,
15:28and then Swifty's getting furious about it.
15:31That's funny.
15:32Yeah.
15:33I think the joke was like Travis,
15:34or Taylor should break up with Travis.
15:36Yeah.
15:36Yeah.
15:37He sucked in the game.
15:39I'm just kidding.
15:40I think everyone at the Superbowl party,
15:41like made that joke.
15:42You know what I mean?
15:43Right.
15:44He's getting broken up with.
15:44Yeah.
15:45It's not like, you know, it's not a joke
15:47you're like going to hang your hat on.
15:48Like, fuck yeah, that's a great joke.
15:50But it's also.
15:51If you get actually upset about that,
15:53you have a mental illness.
15:54Right.
15:55I think Swifty's are all just like,
15:57everything has to be perfect and it's kumbaya
15:59and we're all holding hands
16:00and we all got to support Taylor no matter what.
16:03But that was funny.
16:03It's a scary world.
16:04With people getting mad about the booing.
16:06Like that was funny.
16:07Right.
16:08That was funny.
16:09Also, it was fucking Eagles fan.
16:11Like the majority of the Superbowl was Eagle fan.
16:13They're booing.
16:14She's the most famous Chiefs fan at the game.
16:16She's going to get booed.
16:17How is that?
16:18What they were saying was like,
16:19well, Paul Rudd was on the screen
16:20and they weren't booing him.
16:21And it's like, but Taylor's a billion times bigger
16:22than Paul Rudd.
16:23Right.
16:24I mean, you can't boo Paul.
16:25You can't boo Ant-Man.
16:26Yeah.
16:28Speaking of I love you, man,
16:29that the trailer for Friendship came out the other day.
16:33And that's Paul Rudd and Tim Robinson.
16:34And one of the.
16:35Oh, it sounds amazing.
16:36One of the poll quotes is,
16:38I love you, man for sickos.
16:40And I was like,
16:41I don't know if you can have a better.
16:42When's that come out?
16:43I want to say March.
16:45I'll be there.
16:46Friendship, it's called?
16:48Yeah.
16:48Ken Jack, do you know when that comes out?
16:52A24.
16:53I don't know if that matters.
16:54It's like neon's the new A24.
16:56What's that?
16:57May.
16:58I knew it was an M.
16:59It's a summer blockbuster.
17:00Yeah.
17:02All right.
17:03Is that it for the rundown?
17:04Any other topics?
17:05Inside Barstool, anything going on?
17:08Jackie's vlog yesterday.
17:10She had a brave statement that I agree with.
17:15I think most people don't hear,
17:16at least don't say it.
17:17Times Square fucking rules.
17:20Why?
17:21Like, I don't want to live in it
17:23or I don't want to go to dinner there,
17:24but it's fun to walk through.
17:25You walk through, you're like, holy shit.
17:27This is like the center of capitalism.
17:29That's kind of cool.
17:30I, it's too crowded.
17:32It's, I mean like once or twice a year.
17:34Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:35It's not a regular thing,
17:36but when you walk through it,
17:37I'm not like, oh, I'm never going to Times Square.
17:38Like, it's fucking wild.
17:41It's a, but I think that people think,
17:43people outside of New York who don't live in New York
17:45are like, oh, that's like where people go out.
17:48Like, I think that that's where they think
17:50everybody like in New York hangs out
17:52and it's like the exact opposite.
17:53Obviously the, probably walking through it is crazy.
17:56Walking through it.
17:57Cause that's like your destiny.
17:58Like I'm going to go to Times Square and walk through it.
18:00Like if you had to get through it
18:01and you're in a hurry, that sucks.
18:02It's awful.
18:03But like going there as a destination
18:04and like hanging out for a bit.
18:06Is that what you're talking about?
18:06I'm like, I like going to a Broadway play
18:08or something like that.
18:09You're like, you're like looking around,
18:10you saw the bright lights.
18:11You're like, fuck, this is sick.
18:12It is good people watching, I guess.
18:14People watching?
18:15Yeah, I don't know.
18:17Whenever I first got here,
18:18I did like a man on the street in Times Square
18:20at like three in the morning.
18:21Oh yeah.
18:22It was kind of the worst place ever.
18:23Yeah.
18:24That makes sense.
18:26Yeah, I disagree.
18:27I don't like, I don't like Times Square.
18:28Too crowded.
18:29I don't like all those people being around me.
18:30Same.
18:31Like.
18:32But hey, that's the beauty of fucking Barstool.
18:35Some people can have one take,
18:35another person can have another,
18:36and we fucking hash it down.
18:37Yeah.
18:39You just like being in the, in the mix.
18:41I don't like, I don't go out of my way.
18:44I think Jackie said she goes out of her way to do it.
18:45I don't do that, but when I'm walking through it,
18:47I'm, I'm, I'm awe-stricken.
18:51Cause it is awesome.
18:53Whoa, this is crazy.
18:54I will say, the hot dog can in the head in Times Square.
18:57Now that was a special.
18:58That was a huge one.
18:59They had that big hot dog there.
19:00If you want to see some classic Barstool content,
19:03go watch the TikTok of us going to check out
19:06the hot dog cannon.
19:07As if you haven't seen it.
19:08As if you haven't, yeah.
19:09Well, it's just one of the, it's like,
19:10it's like Dave goes to the guinea pig thing, you know.
19:13King Richard's Fair.
19:14King Richard's Fair.
19:14They're calling it the modern day King Richard's Fair.
19:17Yeah.
19:18All right.
19:18Is that it?
19:19Cool.
19:20That's it.