King Of The Hill Season 5 Episode 4 Spin The Choice
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00:00 [MUSIC]
00:10 [MUSIC]
00:36 Okay, I was gonna do this after you got home from school, but I'm too excited.
00:41 The turkey knife!
00:43 That's right. I've been waiting for the right year, and if you feel ready, this Thanksgiving, you will be carving one of the three tom turkeys.
00:54 I'm ready, Dad. I wasn't ready last year. I realize that now.
01:00 Okay. Pretend it's Thanksgiving, and this bread is a turkey.
01:06 [SIGH]
01:08 Oh my God, it's so juicy!
01:12 Yow!
01:13 You see, Bobby, on Thanksgiving, people will be so jazzed by the moistness of the turkey, you'll have to tune them out. Now try again.
01:24 The kid's table needs dark meat!
01:31 [MUSIC]
01:36 Dale, I read that the government returned 84,000 acres to the Utes near the Oreille Reservation. It's a good precedent for our tribe's lawsuit, don't you think?
01:46 Well, with me acting as your legal advisor, I am confident you have an airtight case, although I am not sure what you mean by precedent.
02:00 Hey, Dad.
02:01 Son?
02:02 Joseph, hello!
02:03 Hey.
02:07 So, um, is that a new backpack? Looks good on you.
02:13 You know, I'm speaking to your class today. We'll be going over the Native American roll of Thanksgiving. Hey, why don't I give you a ride to school?
02:23 Nah, I'll ride my bike. Oh, uh, Dad, my bike chain is busted.
02:29 No problem, son. I'm pretty sure I keep a chain tool in Hank's garage.
02:34 Morning, John Redcorn.
02:41 Nancy, you just missed Joseph. Well, I guess you see him every day. He's just grown so much. Too much time goes by without me seeing him. Thank God for the holidays.
02:55 Yeah, about that. I just don't think it's a good idea you're coming by this Thanksgiving.
03:02 But I barely see my son since we broke up.
03:04 Shug, he's Dale's son, remember?
03:07 Say that now, but when it comes time to get him into college, let's see what box you check.
03:18 My people once owned what is now central and southern Texas. Our land was taken from us by the white men.
03:24 Mr. Redcorn? Yes?
03:31 Are you sure it's the white man who did all that stuff? Because I come from white people, and this is the first time hearing of it.
03:40 Yes, I am sure.
03:42 Wow. Yes, wow.
03:47 You know, Bobby, if you were interested in learning more, I could give you and Joseph a ride home.
03:56 Ride? Really? Ugh, I've been dreading the walk home all day. These legs get dog tired by 310.
04:05 Luanne, are you ready for another Thanksgiving boggle tournament?
04:12 Aunt Peggy, everybody hates your boggle tournament.
04:16 What? What?
04:18 You just said that everybody hates my boggle tournament?
04:21 I didn't say that. I thought it.
04:24 Well, now that you know, everybody does hate your boggle tournament. It's because you give grades instead of prizes.
04:35 Yes, boggle is a harsh mistress. Maybe I should come up with a game that other people have a chance at.
04:43 It's gonna be tough to find one that doesn't give me an advantage.
04:47 Okay, Johnny, stay cool. Don't bore him.
05:04 Where's Joseph going?
05:05 Who knows? That kid's a freaking mystery.
05:09 I waited two and a half hours.
05:11 And I really appreciate that. Especially after all you say the white man did to the Indians.
05:18 You don't know the half of it.
05:21 The white man is still doing it. Hundreds of years of the systematic rape of my people is not enough, is it?
05:29 I'm sorry. I just have to ask again. This is the white man?
05:35 I researched all the very best games in the world. And what I learned was people like to spin and people like to choose.
05:45 The trick was getting rid of all the boring stuff in between.
05:49 Spinning and choosing. I like those. Oh, wait. What do I get to choose?
05:55 Well, some game shows have you choose a letter. Who cares? Some shows have you choose a category.
06:01 My God, wake me up when it's over. In my game, you take that choice and you spin it.
06:08 The name of the game is Spin the Choice. Luan, do you want to spin the choice?
06:23 See you, Mr. Redcorn.
06:26 Bobby, in honor of your first carving, we're going to fry up one of the turkeys this year.
06:33 Dad, that is no way to celebrate the rape of the Native Americans for 350 years.
06:40 Bobby, don't use the word "rape". It's not polite.
06:44 I don't know how else to describe this idiotic ritual.
06:48 Dad, you and your white people stole hundreds of thousands of acres from John Redcorn and now you celebrate by frying a turkey?
06:58 When does the killing end?
07:02 What the... Hank, you're terrible.
07:05 I am not... Just give him his land back, Hank.
07:15 You can't just barge in here. This room is my property and...
07:21 Ah, what's the use? Look who I'm talking to.
07:26 You are talking to your father and you will not use that Frenchman's wave with me.
07:33 Wait, this is about the turkey carving, isn't it?
07:39 It's all right to have some pre-carving jitters. The good ones always do.
07:43 Oh, yes. What could be more important than turkey?
07:47 This makes me sick. Thanksgiving isn't a time for celebration.
07:53 I refuse to carve your turkey. It is basted in the blood of the innocents.
08:00 I'm out!
08:03 This was going to be the perfect Thanksgiving.
08:07 Bobby carving his first turkey, my dad going out of town, pie...
08:15 Do not blame Bobby. I taught him to keep an open mind.
08:20 Maybe I taught him too well.
08:23 Come on, come on. The naked photography books are downstairs.
08:27 Somebody's got to buy them all before we get a chance to even look.
08:30 Is that all you think about? Photography?
08:35 I only have a day to plan an authentic Native American protest feast.
08:40 And if anything happens, I'll be the first to be arrested.
08:44 I'm not going to be arrested.
08:46 I only have a day to plan an authentic Native American protest feast.
08:52 And if anything has to thaw or ripen, I gotta know now.
09:14 Joseph, how about this? Running into each other.
09:18 Hey, Mr. Redcorn.
09:20 I had this old headdress lying around and I thought, well, you might like it.
09:27 Horns and a feather. Thanks.
09:31 John Redcorn.
09:40 What in the hell have you been telling my son?
09:44 If I stole all that land, would I be living on a dang eighth of an acre?
09:49 We will rise up and reclaim all of what was once ours.
09:53 He is the spirit of our people.
09:55 Bobby is?
09:56 Joseph.
09:58 Oh.
10:00 Hank.
10:02 Oh, boy.
10:07 I want my son back.
10:10 Yum.
10:34 Thank you.
10:36 Bobby, not in front of the Boomhowers.
10:53 I'm sorry, Dr. Boomhower.
10:56 What are you doing?
10:57 What better way to educate than to have my own thanks-taking meal?
11:02 It's gonna be very in your face.
11:05 I refuse to eat the white man's white meat.
11:09 That's it. You're going to your room.
11:12 And stay off the guests' coats.
11:14 Oh, Hank, come on. Let him be.
11:17 This is normal teenage rebellion.
11:20 When I was his age, I wrecked my parents' bicycle.
11:23 All right, fine.
11:25 But this whole anti-Thanksgiving thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
11:31 Well, the game is pretty straightforward.
11:34 You can choose to spin or you can choose to choose.
11:37 If you choose to spin, you can land on spin or choice or lose a spin or lose a choice or free spin or free choice or spin again.
11:48 I'll be right back.
11:54 She loves the game.
11:56 But her ex-lover just showed up.
11:58 Most players won't face such distractions.
12:02 Hank, what's John Redcorn doing here?
12:04 I thought he was here for you.
12:06 Not in a while, Shug. I'm scared he might do something stupid.
12:10 Would you mind kicking him out?
12:13 Oh.
12:15 Uh, hey, John Redcorn.
12:18 Hank.
12:19 Are you here for something in particular?
12:22 Uh, 'cause this is kind of a family and neighbor kind of...
12:26 Bobby invited me.
12:27 Bobby?
12:28 He's just a minor. He doesn't have the authority to...
12:30 Is this because of what happened in the car the other day?
12:33 I don't know what you're talking about.
12:35 I was crying and you felt a little uncomfortable...
12:38 Well, I know you're here to see Bobby, so I won't keep you.
12:45 Hello, Bobby. How's the good fight?
12:47 Well, Mr. Redcorn, I found...
12:50 Hank, there's Joseph.
12:54 John Redcorn, what a pleasant surprise. Have a beer.
12:58 What the hell do you think you're doing here?
13:00 I'm going to talk to my son. I bought him a skateboard.
13:04 He's already got a skateboard and a helmet and a father. So leave.
13:08 John Redcorn, hey, here's something to be thankful for.
13:12 You got a settlement offer from the government.
13:15 Twelve delicious acres of unincorporated Arlen.
13:19 Twelve?
13:21 I was seeking one hundred and thirty thousand.
13:24 There's no way I'm accepting this... insult.
13:28 Come on, twelve's a lot. Eleven of them are connected.
13:32 The other one's across the highway.
13:36 If you don't want them, I'll take them.
13:40 You're right. This is something to drink to.
13:45 May I have your attention, everyone?
13:48 I would just like to make a toast to our friend John Redcorn the third,
13:53 celebrating the return of twelve acres of land,
13:57 almost one one thousandth percent of what he was seeking.
14:02 Kudos.
14:04 All right, then.
14:06 Yeah.
14:08 Joseph hates me.
14:09 Why would Joseph hate you? He barely knows you.
14:13 I would also like to make a toast to the white men
14:23 who steals our land and steals our sons.
14:27 To the white men!
14:29 To the white men.
14:32 What the hell?
14:41 Bobby, if you have anything nice to say about the American Indians,
14:46 now would be a good time.
14:49 Thank you for finally hearing our voice.
14:55 My friend John Redcorn has taught me about how important the history of his people is,
15:04 especially on this day.
15:07 And I am the only one who saw fit to prepare a feast that honors the Native American culture,
15:15 not by land-grabbing ancestors.
15:19 Oh.
15:20 According to many expensive books I studied at the bookstore,
15:25 the Anasazi tribe from this region celebrated their most festive occasions
15:31 by eating the body of their enemies.
15:35 Anthropologists have found the leftovers of these sacred meals,
15:40 human bones with shiny patches,
15:43 as if rubbed smooth against the walls of cooking pots.
15:48 So today we salute the Native American cannibal or people-eater.
15:54 It is in this spirit that I invite you to enjoy a Native American cannibal feast.
16:03 John Redcorn, this head's for you.
16:07 Oh, man. You eat people?
16:10 Joseph, don't listen to him. That was over 700 years ago.
16:15 Get your hands off me, you cannibal freak!
16:18 [music]
16:34 John Redcorn, it's me.
16:36 I brought you a to-go plate.
16:39 It's the neck and jibs.
16:41 They were this close to giving them to the dog.
16:44 Mmm.
16:46 I feel terrible for what Joseph said.
16:49 My son has all the gribble passion with none of the gribble charm.
16:53 Your son?
16:55 Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about your son.
16:59 Sit down.
17:04 Fourteen years ago, I was gassing up my Jeep and I met...
17:12 [music]
17:17 Do I still need to use an ashtray?
17:21 You want me to consult the rule book, Dr. Boomhauer?
17:24 Fine. You lose.
17:29 Sorry. I thought you were Mr. Redcorn.
17:33 That guy creeps me out.
17:35 John Redcorn is a good man who's lost everything important to him.
17:39 Yeah, stupid land. Get over it already.
17:43 Joseph John Gribble, you should be ashamed of yourself.
17:47 What if your father lost the places he hunted and fished and lived and loved?
17:55 Maybe it's my fault you don't understand anything about his heritage.
17:59 It's time we had a talk.
18:04 Okay. How about this?
18:07 Some things in life just happen.
18:10 You don't want to hurt anyone, but...
18:15 Oh, come on. So Joseph called you a cannibal.
18:19 It's not like it's true, is it?
18:22 Of course not.
18:24 Any cultural anthropologist will tell you that the Anasazi tribe last practiced cannibalism over 700 years ago.
18:31 And you are affiliated with what tribe?
18:35 Dale, I don't eat people. For God's sake.
18:39 It would be like me accusing you of cannibalism just because that nut in Michigan who boiled body parts in his stove was white.
18:46 And that disc jockey in Philadelphia who ate people in his basement. Also white.
18:52 Boy, you're really up on your cannibalism, John Redcorn.
18:56 Well, look at the time.
18:58 It just makes me so angry.
19:03 You should know I'm highly carcinogenic.
19:06 Okay. That bell means you get a chance to spin the prize wheel.
19:11 I came up with the prize wheel late last night, so picture this as a 30-foot wheel that spins.
19:18 Bill, spin my arm.
19:21 [Bill making a sound]
19:25 Come on, come on, come on!
19:27 [Bill making a sound]
19:29 Come on. Come on!
19:31 [Bill making a sound]
19:32 I win a Winnebago. I win a Winnebago!
19:36 [Bill making a sound]
19:37 No! So close. I spun it a little too hard.
19:43 [Phone ringing]
19:49 Hello.
19:50 John Redcorn's kidnapped me and he's going to eat me.
19:53 You're with John Redcorn? Uh, has he told you anything?
19:57 He's playing it very coy. You have to save me, Hank. Now, here's the plan.
20:02 [Bill making a sound]
20:06 Dale, you're just going "pss, pss, pss."
20:09 Well, I've got nothing!
20:11 Uh, Peggy, I gotta go for a spin to pick up Dale.
20:17 He's over at Redcorn's, scared out of his pants.
20:20 I wanna go.
20:22 I wanna go, too. For Mr. Redcorn.
20:26 Bobby, haven't you done enough to him?
20:29 It's my choice.
20:31 Then give me your choice card.
20:33 I'm glad the Cowboys lost today. After all they did to the Indians.
20:39 Dammit, don't go dragging "them" into this.
20:42 You're already in enough trouble, you called John Redcorn a cannibal.
20:47 That's one of the worst things you can call a person.
20:50 No, it's not. The New York Times says cannibalism is part of his cultural heritage,
20:57 and you have to respect other people's culture.
21:01 Who are we to judge, hmm?
21:04 I am not judging. I am stating a simple fact.
21:08 It is wrong to eat human beings.
21:11 Says you.
21:13 Yes, and I'll say it again. It is wrong to eat another human being.
21:18 Oh, but it was right for the white man to throw blankets with smallpox onto the Indian reservations.
21:26 No, that was wrong, too. But so is eating human beings.
21:31 Bobby, I agree that stealing Indians' land was wrong.
21:39 Can't you agree that eating people is wrong?
21:42 I guess.
21:45 There you go. You know, I left one turkey uncarved.
21:50 Can I have the knife back?
21:52 You sure can, Bobby.
21:54 But you barely need a knife, 'cause that bad boy is so goddang succulent.
22:00 So, uh, what did you say to Dale?
22:13 Nothing. Yet.
22:15 I can't believe she left me. For that.
22:19 She didn't leave you for that. She married that two years before she met you.
22:25 Dad!
22:33 Joseph's here?
22:34 Good. I can tell both of them at the same time.
22:37 Get back in the truck behind Bobby where you're safe.
22:41 It's okay. He's not going to eat anyone.
22:44 Mr. Redcorn, I know you're not really a cannibal.
22:48 My mom told me. She told me a lot of things.
22:52 Really? Like what?
22:55 How the white man stole your land and your heritage, and that it's time you got it back,
23:02 and how we're all children of the Earth, so in a weird way, we're related.
23:11 So what did you want to tell us, Chemo-Sobby?
23:15 I think I will take those twelve acres after all.
23:20 And then, upon my death, I would like to pass the land on to you, Dale, for all the help you've given me.
23:27 Score!
23:29 Then Joseph will live on my forefather's land, after you die.
23:34 Thanks, Captain Bringdown.
23:37 [Music]
23:46 This is nice land, John Redcorn.
23:49 With a little TLC, I bet you could build a nice river there.
23:54 You could put up a garden and a fence.
23:58 I am thinking about suing the highway department to put in a sound dampening fence.
24:04 [Music]
24:18 [Music]
24:46 [Music]