Sexual fantasies are a natural and healthy part of human sexuality. They can help us explore our desires, fantasies, and even our boundaries. In this video, we'll discuss the TOP 3 most common sexual fantasies, why people have them, and how to explore them in a safe and consensual way. So, whether you're curious about sexual fantasies or want to explore your own, this video is for you.
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00:00 Why do people have sexual fantasies?
00:02 Well, according to a survey of over 4,000 Americans
00:06 discussed in a Psychology Today article
00:08 by psychologist, Justin LaMiller, there are a few reasons.
00:12 The most common reason given by survey participants
00:14 was simply to experience sexual arousal.
00:17 While 69.8% of Americans said it was because
00:20 they were curious about different sensations
00:22 and sexual experiences.
00:24 Following that, participants reported having these fantasies
00:27 to meet unfulfilled sexual needs, escape reality for a while
00:31 or express or fulfill a socially taboo sexual desire.
00:35 See, lots of people have seemingly taboo sexual fantasies,
00:39 which is why it's important to discuss this topic.
00:42 According to an article from Insider, evidence suggests
00:45 that those who have sexual fantasies experience less anxiety
00:48 and a greater sense of self-esteem.
00:51 So what are these seemingly taboo thoughts?
00:53 Well, here are four of the most common sexual fantasies.
00:57 Like it rough?
00:58 Apparently over 70% of you do.
01:02 That's right.
01:03 Rough sex and dominant sex have been found
01:05 to be more common than you think.
01:06 Social psychologist, Justin LaMiller,
01:08 surveyed 4,000 Americans and found that 93% of women
01:12 and 81% of men had fantasized about being dominated.
01:16 While 85% of men and 76% of women fantasized
01:19 about being sexually dominant.
01:22 This may make you think of BDSM, which stands for bondage,
01:26 discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism.
01:31 There's a psychological component
01:33 that is often involved in BDSM.
01:36 Many, for example, like psychological role-play
01:39 where an exchange of power is often present.
01:42 Cosplay and role-play.
01:44 Cosplay?
01:46 Isn't that the thing people do at Comic-Cons?
01:49 Well, hey, some may do it in the bedroom too.
01:52 Role-play and cosplay are different.
01:55 According to an article from Insider,
01:57 cosplay is the act of dressing up
01:58 like someone or something else,
02:00 often from a book, movie or video game.
02:03 It's not inherently sexual,
02:05 but some people enjoy impersonating a character during sex.
02:08 However, the term role-play often has a sexual connotation
02:12 as it has often been used to fulfill sexual kinks
02:14 or desires.
02:15 Remember that power exchange mentioned before?
02:18 Dressing up as certain characters
02:20 or taking on different personas with your partner
02:22 may just be a way to safely
02:24 and consensually express that desire.
02:27 Certified sex therapist, Sarai Cooper explains
02:29 in an article for Psychology Today
02:31 that the old saying that the brain is the biggest sex organ
02:34 still holds true.
02:36 How we become aroused in a sexual scenario,
02:38 either solo or with a partner,
02:40 begins with fantasy and imagination.
02:43 Cooper goes on to explain that often her clients are shy
02:46 about sharing personal fantasies
02:47 out of fear of being perceived as strange, bizarre,
02:50 or disgusting by their partner.
02:52 She adds that not being fully open
02:55 about one's sexual desires and needs
02:57 can lead to problems down the road in the relationship.
03:00 It seems role-playing isn't as taboo as some might think.
03:04 And as Cooper adds, role-playing is one of many options
03:07 that provide a safe, non-threatening way
03:09 for couples to explore.
03:11 Multi-partner sex.
03:13 Threesomes, orgies?
03:15 You may have come across these terms before,
03:17 and that may be because a sexual fantasy
03:20 involving more than one other partner is pretty common.
03:23 A study published in the journal
03:25 Personality and Individual Differences
03:27 had 788 British adults across four age groups
03:31 take a nationwide quota poll.
03:33 They found that men were more likely to fantasize
03:35 about having sex with more than one person,
03:37 often with anonymous partners.
03:39 For women, the study states that as a proportion
03:43 of total fantasy output, women were more likely than men
03:46 to fantasize about same-sex and famous partners.
03:50 But wait, there's more.
03:51 A 2017 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior
03:55 and discussed in an article from Insider
03:57 found that out of 274 Canadian university undergrads,
04:02 64% of them revealed that they had interest
04:05 in multi-partner sex.
04:06 When it comes to sexual fantasies,
04:09 the most important thing to remember
04:10 is that it's normal and all right to fantasize
04:14 and explore your sexual desires and interests.
04:17 If you have a partner, it's a great idea
04:19 to communicate your sexual fantasies to them.
04:22 Why?
04:23 Well, it may just improve your sex life and relationship,
04:25 according to a survey conducted by psychologist Ari Tuchman.
04:29 Tuchman explains in an article for Psychology Today
04:31 that those who were most satisfied
04:34 with their relationships and sex lives
04:36 and had the most frequent sex
04:37 were also the most comfortable
04:39 sharing their fantasies with their partner.
04:41 Tuchman adds that these couples
04:43 are doing a lot of things well,
04:45 which makes it easy to feel safe
04:46 with the vulnerable intimacy involved
04:48 in sharing their most secret desires.
04:50 The question is, will you share your secret desires
04:53 with someone else in the bedroom
04:55 or will it remain your prized fantasy?
04:58 A secret only for you to know and enjoy.
05:01 We hope you enjoyed this video.
05:03 And if you did, don't forget to click the like button
05:05 and share it with a friend or partner.
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05:11 As always, thanks for watching.
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