Movie
Movie
  • 5 months ago
Transcript
00:00Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy.
00:06Two in Los Angeles.
00:13The other in San Francisco.
00:16And they were each assigned very hazardous duties.
00:22But I took them away from all that.
00:25And now they work for me.
00:27My name is Charlie.
00:57Don't try to tell me you're not frightened.
01:17We want that diamond.
01:19How often do I have to tell you, Brewster?
01:23I didn't steal it.
01:26Now, where is it?
01:27That's none of my business. I'm retired.
01:30Why don't you ask the museum?
01:33Run a bath for Mr. Brandicole.
01:41Now, Freddy, you read the same newspapers I do.
01:44It was stolen from the museum.
01:47And you always lusted after that diamond.
01:49And the whole operation reeked, if you'll forgive me, of the style of Freddy the Fox.
01:53Brewster, you wouldn't do this to me. We were in the trade together.
01:56I'm sorry, but as you know, I can no longer swing from cornices and window sills.
02:01And Carl, God bless him, is too primitive to do anything but smash and grab.
02:07Like the light of a rapier.
02:09That would set us both up for life.
02:15Shall I take him for a swim?
02:26All right.
02:30Third drawer in the middle, false bottom.
02:59Mr. McLarland used to be one of the finest cat burglars on the coast.
03:03Until he fell one night from a second story.
03:05A gentleman.
03:07In the old days, he never would have had anything to do with a hoodlum like this, this Carl.
03:12Why do they think that you have the diamond?
03:15Well, I don't know.
03:17The police have interrogated me three times, and I've been tipped off that other criminals are trailing me.
03:22It's a terrible feeling, being innocent.
03:33Maybe they suspect you because Freddy the Fox was once the best jewel thief going.
03:38Now, Freddy, come to the point.
03:40I suspect you know who has the light of a rapier.
03:43Oh, yes. It's in the hands of a multimillionaire named Faris Salim.
03:47Filthy rich, bad character all through.
03:49He's very big in oil, isn't he?
03:51If he wanted something like that, why would he steal it?
03:55I mean, he could just buy it, couldn't he?
03:57Salim is an acquisitive man, and the light has never been for sale.
04:01Rumor has it that he arranged the theft and then disposed of the thieves.
04:06Sounds charming. Where is he now?
04:08He lives in the Caribbean.
04:10The jewel is reportedly kept in a secret room in his estate, incredibly well guarded.
04:16What is it exactly that you want us to do?
04:18Well, help me steal it back, of course.
04:20Oh!
04:23If you'll just help me, Charles, we can recover the jewel, return it to the museum where it rightfully belongs,
04:30and where the whole world can enjoy its beauty.
04:33That's very noble of you, Freddy.
04:35But I think we have a bad connection.
04:37I missed any mention of your autobiography.
04:40Oh, my book.
04:43I had no idea you followed my career so thoroughly.
04:46I never lose interest in people I help send away.
04:49Uh, excuse me. A book.
04:53Freddy has a lucrative contract with a publisher for his autobiography.
04:57This would no doubt provide the last chapter.
05:00I think we'll need a financial understanding, Mr. Brander.
05:04Listen, before we start splitting the profits, don't you think we'd better find the gem first?
05:09Right you are, Chris.
05:11All right, pack your bags, angels. You're flying to the Caribbean.
05:15Ah, good idea.
05:18It's going to be nice there.
05:19Good idea.
05:43Yes, sir.
05:44The suite for Lord and Lady Brander.
05:47Ah, yes. Lord Brander.
05:49We've been expecting you.
05:51No, no, my dear man.
05:53I am Bosley, Lord Brander's valet de chambre.
05:57I trust the accommodations are as requested?
06:00Oh, I'm sure you will be satisfied.
06:03No, no, this certainly will not do.
06:06You have Miss Garrett and Miss Monroe in the same room.
06:09Well, I understood. They were both employees.
06:11Yes, but you see, Miss Garrett is Lord Brander's secretary.
06:16Miss Monroe is Miss Seuss.
06:22Lower lumbar pain chronic.
06:25I see. Of course.
06:29My lord.
06:33And my lady.
06:41Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. That'll be all.
06:52All right, let's get down to business.
06:54Harry Salim is having a birthday party this Saturday.
06:57That gives us just three days to see that we get invited.
07:00Now, Charlie's report says that Salim often dines here at the hotel.
07:03That could be a good chance for a direct contact.
07:05You know what? Let me work on Salim's son, Ali.
07:07I understand he's into race cars, and I can at least talk a good show.
07:13Well, keep your seatbelt fastened.
07:15Yeah, well, anything for the cause.
07:18Oh, do I detect a note of self-sacrifice, Chris?
07:22Yeah, what does this Ali look like?
07:25Oh, I saw his picture in the paper once.
07:28Well, he's not exactly handsome.
07:30No, I mean, he's not even good looking.
07:34You could even say he was ugly.
07:36Really? Ugh.
07:59Mr. Salim. Over there, lady.
08:07Mr. Salim?
08:09Ali Salim?
08:12Yes.
08:14What is it?
08:16I'm Ali. Can I help you?
08:19I heard you were the best person on the island to talk to about my problem.
08:24Which is?
08:26My car. It seems to be running tired.
08:30Shall we try it?
08:32Try what?
08:34The car.
08:36Oh, okay.
09:01The Salim Estate. Nice little place, isn't it?
09:07Guards. A wall.
09:10A closed-circuit TV monitoring system.
09:13And a car.
09:15And a car.
09:17And a car.
09:19And a car.
09:21And a car.
09:23And a car.
09:25And a car.
09:27A wall. A closed-circuit TV monitoring system.
09:35That's what I call a challenge.
09:37I'd call it impossible.
09:39Unless we can get someone working from the inside.
09:41We've got to find a vulnerable point of attack. A weakness.
09:44I made some inquiries.
09:46And Salim has a very well-known weakness.
09:48His appetite.
09:50I also learned some things about his cook.
09:53And so I suggest, my lord, with your permission,
09:56that we launch our attack through the kitchen.
09:59Clever. Very clever, Bosley.
10:01Thank you.
10:18Oh, here, madame.
10:20I insist you allow me to assist you.
10:23You can't help me, Matt.
10:25Because I don't know you.
10:27Oh, but I know you.
10:29You are Cleo.
10:31Chef de Ferry Salim,
10:33and by reputation,
10:35the finest cook on this island.
10:38Well, maybe I don't know you.
10:41But I sure like your honeyed words.
10:44Allow me, then, madame,
10:47to introduce myself.
10:49I am Lord Brander's man, Bosley.
10:52We are on holiday at the hotel.
10:55And I warn you, my dear lady,
10:58my intentions are questionable.
11:01Oh, yes, I fully intend to steal your famous recipe
11:06for baked papaya with ground armadillo.
11:10Oh, Mr. Bosley,
11:12I'll give you the recipe.
11:16Here we go.
11:18That is delicious.
11:20Oh, my dear Cleo,
11:22it's abundantly clear
11:24why you are the queen of the Indies.
11:27Listen, you were telling me that Lord Brander,
11:31he traveled with his wife and his secretary
11:35and his masseuse?
11:37Oh, yes, poor chap.
11:39He'd be in terrible trouble if it weren't for me.
11:42You see, I manage his schedule.
11:45But tell me, Cleo,
11:47what is this I hear
11:49about Ferry Salim and his secretary?
11:52Oh, the story be true.
11:55And what a nasty conceited girl.
11:58Ah, yes.
11:59Well, perhaps then you'd be interested
12:01in what I heard from Lady Grantham's maid.
12:05Something good?
12:07It seems that Salim's secretary
12:10is misbehaving with one of the guards.
12:14How terrible!
12:17And there's more, Cleo.
12:19She apparently is selling information
12:22to a gossip columnist.
12:24Oh, the hypocrite.
12:27Now, you must never tell this to a soul,
12:31you understand?
12:32I mean, the poor girl might lose her position.
12:35Oh, never.
12:36To me, die in death.
12:40So, hopefully by now, Mr. Salim
12:43will be looking for a new secretary.
12:45Bosley, how can you make up such a story?
12:48You don't even know Salim's secretary.
12:50I got it from the bellboy
12:52who got it straight from Salim's gardener.
12:55I wonder who he got it from.
12:57Let's just hope it works.
12:59Hi.
13:01Hi.
13:04Oh, I've been with Ali all afternoon.
13:07Where?
13:08He's been rebuilding his Ferrari,
13:10and we were, well, I was helping him.
13:13Aha.
13:14Well, it's very interesting,
13:16a multi-millionaire auto mechanic.
13:19Well, his father doesn't know anything about that.
13:22Ali wants to be independent,
13:24and he's really nothing like his father.
13:26He's very sensitive and thoughtful.
13:28As a matter of fact, I'm seeing him later.
13:31Oh, my gosh, look at my face.
13:33Why didn't you guys tell me?
13:35Hello.
13:37Yes.
13:39Thank you.
13:41Thank you very much.
13:43Well, Ferris Salim is in the hotel dining room.
13:48Time for an early dinner.
13:50Keller, it's been a pleasure having you in our service.
13:53Yes, so sorry it must end so unpleasantly.
14:06Lord and Lady Miranda, we have your table ready.
14:20You call this an appropriate table?
14:22I don't relish the idea of it on display.
14:25Freddy, don't be tiresome.
14:27I should like that table above the window.
14:30I'm afraid that's impossible.
14:32That table is occupied by Mr. Salim.
14:35And what, may I ask, is a Salim?
14:38I beg of you, my lord, lower your voice.
14:40Mr. Salim may become offended.
14:42I see.
14:44You've no objection to offending me, is that it?
14:46Freddy.
14:48Your table was approved by your own secretary.
14:54Is this what you choose to call a table,
14:56surrounded by all these gaping people?
14:59I'm sorry, Lord Brander, but I...
15:01I have been humiliated by incompetent servants for the last time.
15:05You are dismissed. You may find yourself another situation.
15:10Since you obviously have nothing respectable to offer here,
15:13you may serve us now, sweet.
15:21Amuse yourself, ladies.
15:31Thank you.
15:36My dear, times such as these require cognac.
15:42I gather that you have been discharged.
15:45I've been had. That's what I've been.
15:47I worked hard for that big snob.
15:49And I see that you're an American.
15:52Allow me.
15:57You're fogging your glasses.
16:00How pretty you are.
16:02Even tears become you.
16:05Thank you.
16:08As it happens,
16:10I have a need of a secretary just now.
16:14Do you?
16:16My own departed quite suddenly.
16:22Are you feeling better?
16:24I'm feeling a lot better than I did a minute ago.
16:28My offer is a serious one.
16:30I do need a secretary.
16:33And if I may say so,
16:36I think you need a friend.
16:40Well, I don't take shorthand.
16:43Oh, that's not a problem.
16:45And I'm a rotten typist.
16:47Oh, it's quite all right.
16:50But I'm used to taking orders, Mr. Salim.
16:55Ah.
16:57You know me.
16:59Is there anybody who doesn't?
17:17My father is extremely wealthy,
17:20successful, and very charming.
17:23But underneath,
17:25he is a monster.
17:31Well, he did one thing right.
17:44I have told you all about myself,
17:47but I know almost nothing about you.
17:49What do you do for Lord Brander?
17:53I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that.
17:58Oh.
18:00Look, Ali, I'd like everything to be up front with us,
18:03because I like you.
18:05You don't have to explain any more.
18:07I have no right to judge you.
18:10I don't want there to be any surprises.
18:12You mean no regrets?
18:16I like the good life,
18:18and I can't afford it by myself.
18:22Lord Brander isn't the first,
18:24or won't be the last.
18:26I wanted to meet you
18:28so that I could meet your father
18:30and his society friends.
18:35I see.
18:39And it is a pleasure to meet you,
18:43and is that the only reason that you are here with me now?
18:48If it was, do you think I'd be telling you this?
18:51Of course.
18:53I understand.
18:55No surprises.
18:57Thank you.
19:00My father is having a party this Saturday.
19:03I have to go. It's his birthday.
19:05Would you like to accompany me?
19:08I'd love to.
19:13Hm.
19:16What is it?
19:18My father.
19:21You'll be very impressed.
19:30Is this where Mr. Salim keeps his valuables?
19:33Valuables?
19:35Oh, well, I heard he collects things.
19:37You know, like, uh, paintings, rare jewels.
19:41I do not know where you get your information,
19:43but you'll not be seeing anything of that sort.
19:59Mr. Salim asked me to make you familiar with the estate.
20:04This is our security room.
20:11Looks like you're ready for an invasion.
20:16An intruder on the grounds would find himself in great difficulty.
20:21I believe it.
20:27What's in there?
20:31That would be dangerous for you to know.
20:42I think that is enough for you to see.
20:45I assume you've been told of your duties, such as they are.
20:49Raisa, are you always so formal?
20:54No. I am needed.
20:57I suggest you go directly to your office.
21:05I'm sorry.
21:07This is...
21:38Stay!
21:41Stay!
21:45It's all right now.
21:57Perhaps it would be better now if you went to your office.
22:08No, no, no. It's really quite unsuitable.
22:11My dear good man, I asked to see something of value, not trinkets.
22:23My dear Lady Brando, I like your dress.
22:27It's beautiful.
22:29Thank you.
22:32My dear Lady Brando, allow me to introduce myself.
22:36Faris Salim, at your service.
22:39And how do you know my name?
22:41This is a small island. Your arrival was of great interest.
22:45Ah, yes, of course.
22:47Yours was the table my husband demanded yesterday at the hotel.
22:51A most unfortunate confusion.
22:54Really? Well, not altogether unfortunate for you, I should imagine.
22:58I believe you have employed my husband's secretary?
23:02True. I was hoping you would show me your forgiveness
23:06and honour me with your presence at a little party tomorrow afternoon.
23:10Tomorrow?
23:12Quite short notice, isn't it?
23:15But, my dear Lady, I've just made your acquaintance.
23:19Please, it is my birthday.
23:22Please, it is my birthday.
23:36Will you accept this as my personal invitation?
23:42Mr Salim, you are a bit vulgar.
23:48However, you are also very charming.
24:09First we have to locate where Salim has the jewel.
24:14Then determine our method of entry.
24:17This should be useful.
24:20That's the pearl that Salim gave me.
24:24Turn it over.
24:26Inside is a miniaturised camera.
24:32That's the lens.
24:36This snaps the shutter.
24:39Keep toying with it at the party.
24:41Then nobody will notice when you're taking the pictures.
24:43I have something for you too, Chris.
24:46This little piece of wax is for your purse.
24:50When you get close enough to the jewel case,
24:52just press this against the lock and we'll be able to make a key from the impression.
24:56That is terrific.
24:58They didn't call me Freddy the Fox because of my foxtrot.
25:12I'm sorry.
25:22Lady Laura Brander.
25:24I was worried that you would come on such short notice.
25:27Well, it was the uniqueness of your gift.
25:31You have it mounted already.
25:33I am indeed flattered.
25:35No need to be flattered, old chap. She has everything mounted.
25:38When I pass over to my eternal ward,
25:40I expect I'll be stuffed and put over the fireplace by Sunday.
25:44What a sense of humour you English have.
25:47Mr Salim, you may introduce me around if there's anyone worth meeting.
25:53But of course. Do you know Countess Grenier?
25:56No.
25:57Allow me.
25:59Laura Brander.
26:00No. Freddy isn't interested.
26:03You'll excuse us, won't you, darling?
26:05Only if you promise to stay away for a long time.
26:28Got a chance to look around?
26:30Yes, I got the tour.
26:32There's one central security room with all the TV monitors.
26:35Only one guard in there.
26:37Good.
26:39Any idea where he keeps the jewels?
26:42There's a locked room.
26:48Uh-oh. Watch out. Watch out.
26:55Raise it. Do you know Lord Brander?
26:58How do you do?
27:00Not awfully well, thank you for asking.
27:03I was trying to persuade Kelly here to come back into my employment.
27:07I'm afraid I haven't succeeded, actually.
27:10Forgive me for saying so, Your Lordship.
27:13But your loss is Mr Salim's gain.
27:18Oh, dear.
27:26I appear to be meeting defeat on all fronts.
27:30Lady Brander, may I present my son, Ali.
27:33How do you do?
27:35And, uh...
27:36Yes, uh, we've met.
27:44Happy birthday, Father.
27:48Thank you for at least cleaning the grease from your nails.
27:51You know?
27:52About your garage.
27:54Of course.
27:56Father, this is Chris Monroe.
27:58Hello.
28:02At least my son knows a beautiful woman when he sees one.
28:06Well, I've heard a lot about you, Mr Salim.
28:09Not all of it good, I'm sure.
28:12Well, none of it was boring.
28:15See if you can seduce Ali into having a good time.
28:19If you do, I will reward you for it.
28:26Come on.
28:36How are you doing? Do you have his interest?
28:38Oh, he's coming on like gangbusters.
28:41Good.
28:42Time to push him, then.
28:44You have to see that jewel.
28:46Okay.
28:48Look bored, Freddy.
28:57I hope you'll forgive me, my dear.
28:59Oh, yes, of course.
29:00The obligations of the home.
29:02Yes, of course.
29:03Is something the matter?
29:04Well, yes, uh, Lord Brander is the matter.
29:06He has the attention span of a six-year-old.
29:08He's bored. He wants to leave.
29:10Oh, so soon?
29:11Yes.
29:12I don't imagine you could stay by yourself.
29:15Uh, well, under the circumstances, it would be, um, awkward.
29:22Have you entertainment planned?
29:24Freddy loves fireworks.
29:27No.
29:29But perhaps I have something even better.
29:32Oh, really?
29:33Excuse me.
29:34Yes, of course.
29:44Oh, Freddy, darling.
29:52Mr. Salim would like to have you join him in private.
29:55Ah.
29:56Please.
30:08I have asked a few of you, my good friends,
30:11on my own behalf,
30:13to join me in private.
30:17I have asked a few of you, my good friends,
30:20and my honored guests, Lord and Lady Brander,
30:23to view my most recent and my most valuable acquisition.
30:28You will notice some unusual security arrangements.
30:32I alone have the key to this room.
30:37All right.
30:42Miss Garrett, please walk through there.
30:45Yes, sir.
30:59The entire floor of the room that you are about to enter
31:03is electronically wired.
31:05And as you'll see,
31:07we have a most unusual guard on duty inside.
31:11Lord and Lady Brander, please.
31:16Yes, indeed.
31:18Please.
31:30Ladies and gentlemen,
31:32I am privileged to show you
31:35one of the truly rare gems of the world,
31:39the Light of Arabia.
31:41I should say, the Light of Arabia and friend.
31:45Do not be deceived by its size.
31:47This is a green mamba from Africa,
31:51one of the world's deadliest snakes.
31:55A snake!
31:57Quickly, some water!
32:02She always does this when she sees one.
32:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
32:08Oh, no, never mind.
32:10Help me up.
32:12Simply help me up.
32:19Looks like the party's over.
32:26Well, here's the last of them.
32:33Oh, that reminds me, John.
32:36We'll need to mix this with some raw hamburger
32:39to take care of the watchdog.
32:41Um...
32:42It's quite harmless.
32:44He'll simply sleep like a puppy until we've gone.
32:47Okay, let's hope so.
32:49Now, we go over the gate here, right?
32:53And we know what time the guard changes,
32:56so if Kelly can get the guard's attention
32:59away from the TV monitor in the security room...
33:05Then the hard part begins.
33:07That was the easy part?
33:09You heard Salim.
33:10The floor of the room is electronically wired.
33:13Salim is the only key. So?
33:15So we have to come down through the window to get the jewel.
33:19We have to come through the window and never touch the floor.
33:30Okay.
33:45Ali.
33:49This might be goodbye.
33:52We're going to be leaving in a day or two.
33:59I see.
34:01I hoped you'd feel as badly about it as I do.
34:06Please.
34:10Are you going to steal my father's diamond?
34:17Look, it isn't for us.
34:19We're going to give it back to the museum.
34:22Ali, you've got to believe me.
34:26I'm a private investigator.
34:28So this is what you meant when you said there should be no surprises.
34:33Are you going to give us away?
34:43I don't know.
34:55I don't know.
35:26Surprise to see me?
35:29No.
35:33I was told you were here.
35:36The guard became ill. I'm replacing him.
35:40I am experienced at such things.
35:43I'm sure you are.
35:46I'm sure you are.
35:49I'm sure you are.
35:52I'm sure you are.
35:55Why are you here?
35:58Because you are.
36:05I'm bored.
36:09I'm bored.
36:20Everything okay?
36:22How's he doing?
36:24He's fine. He enjoyed this hamburger. He's having a blissful nap.
36:28Okay, let's get going.
36:33Freddie, what's the matter?
36:35It's just a little shortness of breath.
36:40I guess I'm not used to all this exercise anymore.
36:44I'll be all right in a minute.
36:46Look, we can handle it. We'll just switch, that's all.
36:49Bosley will take your job. You stay here in the van.
36:52You're not going in there without me. What if something goes wrong?
36:55Look, let's face it. Something already has gone wrong.
36:58Come on, we don't have time just to stand here.
37:00Freddie, you've gone over every detail of this with us.
37:03But we can do it.
37:10Good luck.
37:12Okay.
37:17Okay.
37:33Okay.
37:54I had no idea when you came here we would become friends.
37:58Neither did I.
38:04I'm sorry.
38:11You dance rather well.
38:16Did you know that I'm an expert dancer?
38:19Of course. I know a great deal about you.
38:25I see.
38:28I believe that a man can be graceful and still be a real man.
38:35I agree.
38:57Okay.
39:27Okay.
39:53Here, Freddie.
39:55You're in big trouble, and all for us.
40:25Okay.
40:49You dance beautifully.
40:55Okay.
41:01Are you ready?
41:03Yeah.
41:26Oh, no.
41:34That's awful.
41:55Oh, no.
42:25Oh, no.
42:55Oh, no.
43:25Okay.
43:41Okay, come on.
43:43Easy. Watch it, watch it, watch it.
43:45There you go. Good girl.
43:56Okay.
43:58Okay.
44:23No more.
44:25Come.
44:27This is my room.
44:29Oh, you can't leave here. You're on duty.
44:32Come on, one more dance. Come on.
44:35Come on.
44:44Hold it. Stay right there.
44:51The dance is over.
44:57The dance is over.
45:17All guards report to the security center immediately.
45:21Intruders on the ground. General of Arms.
45:27General of Arms.
45:58Freddie?
46:00I'm right here.
46:02This young fellow came along and rescued me just when I needed it.
46:06You'd better hurry. My father will soon have his men searching the island.
46:10He will be pleased that I have captured at least two of the thieves.
46:14And that might give you some additional time.
46:17Come on. We've got a plane to catch.
46:27Honey.
46:57Well done, angels.
46:59The museum has their diamond back and we have a substantial reward.
47:04And better yet, Freddie's old friends are leaving him alone.
47:09I'm very appreciative.
47:11I'm looking forward to a quiet life of witty guest appearances at literary teas.
47:16Which reminds me, I've got to go.
47:18Goodbye.
47:20Goodbye.
47:22Goodbye.
47:24Goodbye.
47:26Which reminds me, Freddie, I read the proofs on the book.
47:29I enjoyed it.
47:31Did you? Really?
47:32Oh, yes. And so did I.
47:34Especially the part where you ran along the rooftop of the Salim mansion,
47:39you lowered yourself down with a rope,
47:41and you picked the diamond out with your teeth.
47:45I like the part where you made a loop out of your tie and caught the snake.
47:50Oh, excellent.
47:52I particularly like that part.
47:59Well, after all, I am the hero of the book and my readers expected of me.
48:05Yeah.
48:07Well, maybe I can make it up with a dedication.
48:11I hereby dedicate this book to Charles, John, and their three lovely angels.
48:22My only regret being that I didn't make their acquaintance 30 years ago.
48:32I like that.
48:41I like that.
49:11I like that.