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00:00New York City is dead!
00:07The damnable, hellish, vile, corrupt, iniquitous, black-hearted, weaselly gang that is the liquor business killed it!
00:21Now! Now seize the day!
00:33Jimmy Mundy is here to take New York by the scruff of its dirty neck and make it hit the trail of salvation! Hallelujah!
00:51Be! Be! Be! Be! The past is dead! Tomorrow is not born! Be today! Be! Be!
01:09The tango and the foxtrot didn't kill New York, brothers and sisters. The bootleg booze and the jazz music didn't kill it.
01:21For they are what is going to bring New York down, down, down, down, down to the bottomless pit of hell! Be! Be today!
01:36This is good!
01:38You're going to be seeing, brothers and sisters, whether you like it or whether you don't, this means you!
02:06Jolly invigorating there, Jeeves.
02:15Most enlightening, sir.
02:17You got another cable waiting for you, Mr. Worcester.
02:19Cable?
02:20I never did see a person get so many cables. Come about six o'clock.
02:27Bit of a stumer, this, Jeeves. Come at once, situation desperate, rocky.
02:31Is there any indication of what the desperate situation might be?
02:34Not a hint, Jeeves. Nor of who Rocky is. Bit of a mystery, eh?
02:38Does the missive say whence the communication came?
02:41Er, West Neck, Long Island.
02:43Perhaps I might make the suggestion, sir, that it comes from Mr. Rockmantella Todd, the poet.
02:48Good Lord, Jeeves. You're right, old Rocky. Well, well, well. Desperate situation, eh? Poor old Rocky.
02:54Still, tomorrow morning, I think, don't you?
02:56As you say, sir.
03:05Thank you, cabbie.
03:07By the way, Jeeves, on no account did we agree to us staying here overnight.
03:10Very good, sir. Might one enquire why?
03:12Because, Jeeves, of all the places on this great planet of ours,
03:15West Neck, Long Island has been chosen to be the most unexciting.
03:18The last time anything remotely interesting happened here was in 1842, when a tree fell over.
03:23They still talk about it in the village.
03:26Bertie! I knew you wouldn't let me down!
03:30Listen to this! Just listen to this!
03:34Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
03:36What?
03:37Can't a chap hang up his hat before he's read to?
03:39Never mind about hats. This is important.
03:41My dear Rockmantella, you know how all my life I have longed to visit New York
03:45and see for myself the wonderful gay life in which I have read so much.
03:49I have read so much.
03:51I fear that now it will be impossible for me to fulfil my dreams.
03:54What do you make of it so far, Jeeves?
03:56Its meaning seems a little obscure at present, sir.
03:58Perhaps one might enquire from whom the letter derives, Mr. Todd.
04:01My Aunt Isabel, of course.
04:03I am old and worn out. I seem to have no strength left in me.
04:06Sad, Jeeves, what? Extremely affecting, sir.
04:09Sad nothing! She's bursting with health!
04:11She's got this fixed idea that a trip to New York would kill her.
04:13So, though it's been her ambition all her life to go there, she stays where she is.
04:17Rather like the chap whose heart was in the highlands chasing the deer, Jeeves.
04:20Can I get on with this?
04:22So, I have decided that if I cannot enjoy the marvels of the city myself,
04:26I can at least enjoy them through you.
04:28As you know, you will have all my money when I am gone,
04:30but I have decided now to send you a substantial sum of money each month.
04:34Is this good news, Rocky?
04:36On one condition.
04:38My condition is that you live in New York
04:41and plunge into the sea.
04:43My condition is that you live in New York
04:46and plunge into the gay, prismatic life of the city,
04:49as I have always wanted to do.
04:51Above all, I want you to write me letters at least once a week,
04:55giving me a full description of what you're doing so that I may enjoy second-hand
04:59what my wretched health prevents me from enjoying myself.
05:03Your affectionate aunt, Isabelle Rockmatteller.
05:07What on earth am I going to do?
05:13You see, New York's going to be packed with theatres and late-night reviews.
05:16Good Lord, I'd have to dress for dinner every night.
05:19I won't do it. I can't do it.
05:21Do you realise I don't usually get out of my pyjamas till five in the afternoon,
05:24and then I just put on a sweater like this.
05:26Don't listen, Jeeves.
05:29Jeeves?
05:32I'm sorry, Jeeves. You shouldn't have heard that.
05:35I should be better directly, sir.
05:37But, Rocky, why can't you just write to your aunt and explain?
05:40I wanted her to get round to her lawyers in two quick leaps and cut me out of her will.
05:44What do you suggest, Jeeves?
05:46Well, sir, if Mr Todd adheres to his expressed intention of remaining in the country,
05:50then it seems to me that the only possibility is for Mr Todd to secure the services of a second party
05:54to gather the actual experiences,
05:56and these could be conveyed to him in the shape of a careful report
05:59upon which it would be possible to base the substance of the suggested correspondence.
06:03Could he make it a little clearer, Bertie?
06:06I thought at the beginning it was going to make sense, but it kind of flickered.
06:09Yes, well, it takes a bit of getting used to.
06:10What he's saying, Rocky, is that you need someone to go round the town for you and take a few notes.
06:13You then work the notes up into letters.
06:15Who'd do it?
06:16Ah, well, that's the...
06:17Bicky!
06:18Why, Bicky Bickerstaff!
06:32Well, hello.
06:34What do you want?
06:36Good afternoon, madam.
06:37Don't you good afternoon me. I'm a respectable woman.
06:39I have no reason to doubt it, madam.
06:41We are calling upon Mr Bickerstaff.
06:43Next floor up.
06:45Hey, big fella.
06:48You're kind of cute the way you talk.
06:50Madam is too kind.
06:52If you want to come in and split a beer any time.
06:55Well, I shall most certainly bear your generous invitation in mind if I'm in the vicinity.
06:59Good afternoon, madam.
07:02You seem to have made a bit of a commote there.
07:04Thank you, ma'am.
07:05Ah, there's Bicky earning the daily roll and buffer.
07:09So, hard at it, Bicky?
07:11What?
07:12Oh, no, no, no, no. I was just writing to my father.
07:14I seem to spend most of my time doing that.
07:15With respect, sir, if you were to take the bull by the horns
07:18and inform your father that you were in New York and not Colorado...
07:21I can't.
07:22There's something I don't know about.
07:24Yes, my father...
07:25Hang on. How do you know about all this, Jeeves?
07:27I chanced to meet His Grace's butler before we left England, sir.
07:31He informed me that he had happened to overhear His Grace speaking to you on the matter.
07:35What's all this His Grace business? Is your father a bishop or something, Bicky?
07:38Mr. Bickerstead's father is the Duke of Chiswick, sir.
07:40A duke? I didn't know that.
07:42Doesn't that mean you ought to be lord something or other?
07:44Yes, I could be, but I don't really like to call myself that.
07:46Anyway, when the old boy turfed me out, he said that I was a brainless nincompoop.
07:50And the idea was to pack me off to some blighted locality by the name of Colorado
07:53where they'd teach me farming and ranching, whatever it is they call it.
07:57Anyway, I really couldn't stick it there, so I came here instead.
08:00I couldn't exactly tell the old man that, otherwise he'd cut off my allowance.
08:02So you have to write to him pretending you're still in Colorado?
08:05Quite.
08:06One burger medium, one rare, and one ham and eggs over easy.
08:11You want a shake with that?
08:13Thank you. No, I shall just sit here quietly, I think.
08:18Is he being funny?
08:20No, he always talks like that. She means, do you want a milkshake, Jeeves?
08:23Oh, thank you. No. A cup of coffee, if you please.
08:27You got it.
08:29I think I have.
08:31However, if you'll pardon me for saying so, Mr Bickersteth,
08:34it is not that your father particularly wishes you to be in Colorado.
08:37Were you to inform him that you were involved in a successful venture,
08:40it would not matter to him where that venture had its base.
08:43You mean I could tell him that I've left Colorado
08:45because I've got some terrific business going on in New York?
08:47Something of the kind, sir, yes.
08:49Anyway, Mickey, fascinating as all that is, it isn't what Jeeves and I came to see you about.
08:52We've come to offer you a job.
08:54Oh, well paid, I hope.
08:55Wait till you hear what it is, old sport.
08:57All you have to do is to go to as many parties, nightclubs,
09:00restaurants, theatres, racetracks as you can, all expenses paid,
09:03and write a short report on these activities for a friend of mine.
09:06And get paid as well?
09:08And be paid for it as well. There's no catch.
09:10Two shakes and a coffee for the big fella.
09:13Thank you.
09:15Say, you're pretty cute, you know that?
09:17Thank you, so I have been informed.
09:20You really slay me.
09:23Jeeves, you seem to have a fatal fascination for the women of this country.
09:26Yes, it is a problem, sir.
09:28There's no chance of your switching it off or something, I suppose?
09:31I regret not, sir. I have to learn to bear it.
09:33As do the rest of us, Jeeves.
09:35Now, Mickey, about this painting, The Town Red, when can you start, do you think?
09:38Oh, um, well, this evening.
09:40When did you have in mind, then?
09:42Well, we sort of hoped you could start tonight.
09:44Oh, no, I can't do that.
09:46I've got a novel to write before that and three short stories to finish.
09:48I couldn't possibly do it.
09:50Blast!
09:55This is very frustrating, Jeeves.
09:57Surely there must be somebody who is willing to sacrifice himself
09:59for the altar of New York's nightlife.
10:01Jeeves, sir?
10:06Jeeves!
10:08Sir?
10:09No, I mean, Jeeves, you could do it.
10:11Good heavens, why didn't we think of that before?
10:13One doesn't like to push oneself forward, sir.
10:17My dearest Aunt Rochma Teller,
10:19how can I ever thank you enough
10:21for giving me the opportunity to live in this astounding city?
10:24New York seems more wonderful every day.
10:27I was out with some of the crowd at the Midnight Revels the other night.
10:30Everyone was there.
10:32Oscar Hammerstein looked in about 1 o'clock
10:34and got off a good story about Flo Ziegfeld.
10:36Billie Burke looked upset.
10:38She's very protective towards Flo.
10:40The show at the Revels is wonderful,
10:42and in closing a program like this,
10:44Tuesday night a few of us went round to the frolics on the roof.
10:47Billie gave us her impression of President Hoover in the bathroom,
10:50a muted performance since Mrs. Hoover was hovering nearby.
10:55I thought I was in for a quiet night last night,
10:57but fate decreed otherwise.
10:59I ran into a few friends, and they took me along to the Twinkie Bar.
11:02It was Thelma Gautier's birthday,
11:04so of course we all had to wear hats.
11:06Doug Fairbanks did all sorts of stunts and made us roar.
11:09On the screen or off, he really is a most energetic man.
11:12Mary Pickford wasn't with him last night,
11:14but she kindly sent me her regards.
11:17And so to Harlem, the music is astounding.
11:20My piano lessons with Miss Beltitude are really paying dividends,
11:23though Willie the Lion Smith says I've still got to work on my left hand.
11:28The new show at the Apollo is even better than the last,
11:31with Dancing Superb and Josephine Baker
11:33really cooking with gas in the Terpsichorean department.
11:36Home at 3 o'clock.
11:38It's odd, but even with only three or four hours' sleep,
11:41I never seem to get tired.
11:44The finest musicians in the land find their way to 52nd Street.
11:49The skill and versatility of some of them
11:51is enough to take your breath away.
11:58Cole Porter's new musical, The Gay Divorce, opened last night.
12:01The party afterwards was almost as good as ever.
12:04I danced with an up-and-coming young actress called Bette Davis,
12:07who asked me to go out to the coast and try my luck in movies,
12:10but I don't think so.
12:12Cole looked tired.
12:14He told George Burns and me that rehearsals for the show
12:16had been really difficult.
12:18But like myself, he really thrives on the noise and excitement
12:21and sheer energy that is Manhattan.
12:24I must stop now.
12:26Pardon my English.
12:28I've got to go.
12:30That is Manhattan.
12:32I must stop now.
12:34Pardon my English opens tonight, and I promise I'll be there.
12:37Your affectionate nephew, Rocky.
13:00What do you think, Jeeves?
13:02I met the most extraordinary fellow playing the piano like this
13:05at the Onyx Club on 52nd Street.
13:07It's called Pinetop's Boogie Woogie.
13:09Indeed, sir, by the late Mr. Clarence Pinetop Smith.
13:12You've heard of it, Jeeves?
13:14Oh, indeed, sir.
13:16I was fortunate enough to attend a performance of that item
13:18by Mr. Meade Lux Lewis at Jack and Charlie's 21,
13:21only a few nights ago.
13:23He also gave us a spirited rendition of Honky Tonk Train Blues,
13:26a most stimulating composition.
13:28I don't think I know that one.
13:30Would you like me to demonstrate, sir?
13:32By all means, Jeeves.
13:40PIANO PLAYS
13:58Night clubbing again tonight, Jeeves?
14:00Uh, indeed, no, sir.
14:02Party-homers are attending the sporting occasion.
14:09I have not yet touched on the sporting scene in New York,
14:12but the sports fanatic is certainly well catered for,
14:14and in baseball, basketball and the roller derby,
14:17the spirit of fair play itself is exemplified.
14:20May the best man win is the crime.
14:29CLATTERING
14:31Good morning, sir.
14:33I have the distinct feeling
14:35that I've only been asleep for ten minutes, Jeeves.
14:37What time is it? Seven o'clock, sir.
14:39Seven o'clock?!
14:41Did I ask to be awakened three and a half hours before breakfast?
14:43I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Bickersteth is here, sir.
14:46He said it is a matter of the direst emergency.
14:49Oh.
14:51Oh.
14:57Bicky, old tot, I'm not, generally speaking, a man to complain.
15:00Oh, Bertie, thank God.
15:02I'm in the most frightful trouble. I don't know what to do.
15:05My father's arriving this morning.
15:07Bicky, did you get me up at this ungodly hour
15:09merely to keep me up to date with your family's social engagement?
15:12No, you ass. I wrote to my father, as Jeeves suggested,
15:15telling him that I'd dropped into rather good business weeds here in New York
15:18and that I'd decided to sort of chuck in the ranch idea.
15:20Yes, yes, yes, yes.
15:21Well, now he says he's coming to stay with me.
15:23What's wrong with that? Oh, everything's wrong with it.
15:25I've given him the impression that I'm living here in pretty good style.
15:28I can't have him coming to stay with me in my boarding house.
15:30Well, let him stay in a hotel, then.
15:32He won't. He isn't coming to stay with me out of family affection.
15:35He's coming to stay with me because it is free
15:37and he is the biggest cheapskate alive.
15:39What am I going to do?
15:41I don't know. What's he going to do, Jeeves?
15:44To what extent, sir, if the question is not a delicate one,
15:47are you prepared to assist Mr Bickersteth?
15:49Well, I'll do everything I can, of course.
15:52Then if I might make the suggestion, sir,
15:54you might lend Mr Bickersteth this flat.
15:57What?
15:58Mr Bickersteth could give His Grace the impression
16:00that he was the owner of it.
16:02And with your permission, sir, I could convey the notion
16:05that I was in Mr Bickersteth's employ and not in yours.
16:08But what about me?
16:10You would be residing here temporarily, sir, as Mr Bickersteth's guest.
16:13I say, Bertie, I really couldn't impose on you like that.
16:16I really don't know how to thank you enough, Bertie.
16:18Sir, how do we proceed then, Jeeves?
16:20His Grace's ship does not dock until 10 o'clock, sir.
16:23I would advocate the dispatching of a wireless message to His Grace
16:26on board the vessel, notifying him of your change of address.
16:29You could then meet him at the dock and return here directly.
16:32Would that make the situation, sir?
16:36Tch!
16:45All passengers are reminded to bear confidence
16:48before entering New York City.
16:51First class passengers to Pier 77,
16:55all others to Pier 88.
17:06$2. That's iniquitous!
17:08What?
17:10A journey of that length should cost a shilling no more.
17:13A what?
17:15From London Docks to my house in Barclay Square, one shilling.
17:18Your house where?
17:20Can I help at all, sir?
17:22This fellow is charging me eight shillings.
17:24What are you, some kind of cheapskate?
17:27You must be the Duke of Chiswick.
17:29Are you a newspaper man?
17:31No. No, I'm Bertie Worcester, friend of yours, sir.
17:34Bertie Worcester, friend of your son's.
17:36Thank God. Those reporters get in everywhere.
17:38Look, be a good chap and give this fellow what he wants, will you?
17:41I don't understand their money.
17:43I'll settle with you later.
17:47How much?
17:49Eight shillings.
17:51Eight shillings for a cab drive of a mile and a half.
17:53I swear it was only a mile and a half!
17:57Here you go, sir.
18:01Thank you.
18:04How much did you give that man?
18:06Man?
18:07For bringing the bags in.
18:08Oh, I gave him a quarter, I think.
18:10That's a whole shilling.
18:12Is it? Is it?
18:13Good heavens above, man, don't you know?
18:15I don't really...
18:17Ah, Jeeves. This is Jeeves, sir, my...
18:19Bickie's valet.
18:21Is there anything I can get, Your Grace?
18:23A manservant. My son employs a manservant!
18:26Oh, yes, absolutely, yes.
18:28I say, would you care for a cup of tea?
18:30Jeeves? Jeeves, bring some tea, would you?
18:32Very good, Mr. Wooster.
18:34This luxurious flat, does it belong to my son Francis?
18:37Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.
18:39Yes, I'm just staying here at the moment.
18:41You know, I don't normally live here.
18:43It's terribly expensive.
18:45It is. I don't know that, of course.
18:47I'm just a guest.
18:49But, you know, everything costs a lot over here.
18:51This is a terrible country, Mr. Wooster.
18:53Terrible country!
18:55Oh, I know.
18:57It's got its points.
18:59Do you know how much my son pays for this flat, Mr. Wooster?
19:02Oh, well, I don't know that, of course,
19:04because I'm a guest.
19:06But about $500 a month, I think.
19:08£100 a month?
19:10Well, he's doing awfully well now, you know, Bickie.
19:13I imagine that in the past he may have seemed like something of a chump,
19:16but that's all quite different now.
19:18Oh, look, cigarettes.
19:20The fact is that New York often bucks fellows up
19:22and makes them show a flash of speed
19:24that you wouldn't have thought them capable of.
19:26Something in the air, I dare say.
19:29Do you know the nature of my son's business, Mr. Wooster?
19:33The nature of it? Hmm?
19:35Ah, well, um...
19:37Oh, just sort of... How can I put it?
19:39A business, don't you know?
19:41The same sort of thing that Rockefeller and all those coves do.
19:45Well, not exactly the same, of course,
19:47but, uh... Oh, good heavens, is that the time?
19:50Well, I'm awfully sorry to leave you, sir,
19:52but I've got to see a few of the lads elsewhere.
19:54So, uh, toodle-oo.
19:59My dear Aunt Isabel,
20:01I was very surprised to get your letter
20:03saying that you don't want me to write any more reports
20:05on New York nightlife.
20:07I thought you were enjoying them.
20:09I've certainly enjoyed writing them.
20:11I only hope this doesn't indicate
20:13any further deterioration in your health.
20:16Your affectionate nephew, Rocky.
20:20Pleased to see you, sir.
20:25Well, Jeeves, how are things going?
20:27Where is everybody? Bicky, the Duke of Bicky?
20:30His Grace desired to see some of the sights of the city, sir.
20:33I expect Mr. Bicker, sir,
20:35is pretty bucked with the way things are going, what?
20:37Not altogether, sir.
20:39I mean, I don't know.
20:41I mean, I don't know.
20:43I mean, I don't know.
20:45I mean, I don't know.
20:47Not altogether, sir, no.
20:49Oh? What's the trouble now?
20:51The scheme which I took the liberty of suggesting
20:53to Mr. Bickersteth has, unfortunately,
20:55not answered entirely satisfactorily, sir.
20:57Surely the Duke thinks that Bicky's doing well in business?
21:00Oh, indeed, sir,
21:02with the result that he has decided to cancel
21:04Mr. Bickersteth's monthly annuity
21:06on the grounds that he no longer requires pecuniary assistance.
21:09What? Great Scotch, Jeeves!
21:11This is awful!
21:13Well, poor old Bicky.
21:15I shall have to lie down and rest the bean for an hour or so, Jeeves.
21:18There is much to think about here.
21:20Very good, sir.
21:28Whatever they're selling, Jeeves,
21:30tell them we have an ample supply already.
21:32Certainly, sir.
21:41Miss Rockmeteller, sir.
21:43Miss who?
21:45Rockmeteller.
21:48What, his aunt?
21:50Are you Mr. Cole Porter?
21:52No.
21:53Mr. Florence Ziegfeld?
21:55No.
21:56Well, you must be somebody.
21:57Well, I am. I'm Bertie Worcester.
21:59Is that somebody?
22:00Well, I...
22:01I don't recall Rockmeteller mentioning you in his letters.
22:04Rockmeteller writes such wonderful letters.
22:07His descriptions of life in the metropolis
22:09evoked such excitement in me
22:11that I experienced a miraculous cure.
22:14Where is Rockmeteller?
22:17Ah, well, where is Mr. Rockmeteller, Jeeves? Do we know?
22:20If you recall, sir, Mr. Rockmeteller went out in the automobile
22:23with a party earlier this afternoon.
22:25So he did. So he did, yes.
22:26He gave us to understand that he might be somewhat late in returning, sir.
22:31You seem very much at home here, young man.
22:34Are you a great friend of Rockmeteller's?
22:36Oh, yes, rather, yes.
22:38Well, you need to be.
22:39The way you treat his apartment as if it were your own.
22:43Why do you keep opening and closing your mouth like that?
22:46Are you ill?
22:49Would you like some tea?
22:51No, thank you.
22:52No, thank you.
22:53No, thank you.
22:54No, thank you.
22:55No, thank you.
22:56No, thank you.
22:57No, thank you.
22:58Would you like some tea?
23:01Ah, Jeeves, she seems to have got it into her head
23:04that this place belongs to Mr. Todd.
23:06Yes, sir. If you remember, we agreed that Mr. Todd's letters
23:09to his aunt describing the joys of New York
23:11should be addressed from this apartment
23:13in order that Mr. Todd should appear to possess a central residence.
23:16It's blasted awkward, Jeeves.
23:18She seems to look upon me as someone who hangs around Mr. Todd,
23:21touching him for free meals and borrowing his shirt.
23:23Most disturbing, sir.
23:24And what if the Duke comes back?
23:25She thinks it's Rocky's apartment. He thinks it's Bicky's.
23:27One must hope for the best, sir.
23:29Heart within and God ahead seem to be required by these circumstances.
23:41Jeeves! She's not here. She's disappeared.
23:44Phew! Well, perhaps it was just a dream.
23:46A trick of the light.
23:47Mr...
23:48What is your name again?
23:50What are you doing in there?
23:52I beg your pardon?
23:53Well, I mean to say that that's a bedroom.
23:56I see that perfectly well for myself, Mr...
23:59Worcester.
24:00This room will suit me perfectly.
24:03If you will prepare the room for me, Jeeves.
24:06There's really no need for you to wait around for my nephew, Mr. Worcester.
24:10What the fuck did you...
24:11We now know that he will be late returning.
24:13He will naturally wish to be alone with me when he does so.
24:17Goodbye.
24:20No!
24:21I beg your pardon?
24:22Um, just, uh, just singing.
24:24No, no, not that.
24:25I'd like to give the old larynx up to muster.
24:26We've just been to the top of that building that they opened last week.
24:28The, uh, the Empire State.
24:29You know you can see for miles.
24:30Yes. Have you, uh, have you seen the view from your bedroom window?
24:32It's a brick wall.
24:33Really?
24:34No, no, no. Come and have a look.
24:35I don't want to see the blasted view. I want some tea.
24:38Oh, I wouldn't, uh...
24:39You don't want tea, do you?
24:40Have a glass of tea.
24:41Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea.
24:42I was just about to throw it away.
24:43Right, so plenty of time here. Look at the view.
24:45What on earth's the matter with you, Burdick?
24:46Matter? Nothing at all. No, no.
24:48What are you doing?
24:49You're going to love this view.
24:50Look here.
24:51What's going on?
24:52She must not see him.
24:53Ah, Miss Rockmortella.
24:54Are you still here?
24:55Yes, still here, still here.
24:56And who are you?
24:57Oh, he's nobody.
24:58You're not anybody, are you, Bicky?
24:59Well, I don't know. That's right.
25:00I am going out for a walk until Jeeves has done my room.
25:03Good, good, yes.
25:04There are some wonderful walks around here, yes.
25:06I'm sure you will be gone before I come back.
25:08Oh, yes, yes. We'll all be gone, yes.
25:09There's somebody in that room.
25:10Who?
25:11No, it's an earthquake.
25:12An earthquake?
25:13Well, more a tremor, really.
25:14It's nothing to worry about.
25:15There's somebody in there, I say.
25:16Yes, it must be Jeeves.
25:17No, it's Jeeves.
25:18Oh, dear.
25:19It's stuck.
25:20Yes, it's all right, Jeeves.
25:21The door's jammed again.
25:22You know how it keeps jamming, particularly after a tremor.
25:23This door is locked.
25:24He said it's locked.
25:25Yes, it's locked.
25:26It's locked.
25:27It's locked.
25:28It's locked.
25:29It's locked.
25:30It's locked.
25:31It's locked.
25:32It's locked.
25:33It's locked.
25:34It's locked.
25:35It's locked.
25:36It's locked.
25:38Yes, indeed, it is.
25:39It's all right.
25:40He said it's locked.
25:41Yes, it did sound like that, dear.
25:42What he actually said was that the whole building rocked.
25:43Rocked?
25:44It's all right, Jeeves.
25:45We'll have you out of there in no time.
25:46Hello?
25:47Hello?
25:48I've brought you some fresh teas, eh?
25:50That's Jeeves.
25:51Yes.
25:52Madam?
25:53Then who is in that room?
25:55In that room, madam, the painter.
25:57The room has been redecorated.
25:58I lock him in until he's finished.
26:00He's a fine craftsman but unreliable.
26:01Get back to your work.
26:04You can have a drink when you finish and not before.
26:06would you like some tea? no no I was going out for a walk. yes good afternoon miss
26:18Rockenteller. that was Rocky's aunt. she thinks this flat belongs to Hitler.
26:24who's Rocky? never mind who Rocky is. the point is... the blasted door was locked!
26:28I'm so sorry your grace. that was my doing. there were reporters present from
26:32the Daily Chronicle. I did not have time to warn your grace. the devils are on my
26:37trail already. because I'm a Duke you know. that's all it is. you don't get
26:41reporters running after you do you? very seldom your grace. will that be all your grace?
26:47yes that's all. is that tea there? indeed it is your grace.
26:57we've got to get Rocky back up here right away. his aunt finds out he's been in the country.
27:01I already attended to it sir. I dispatched a telegram by the lift attendant.
27:31ah well I think this is a bit thick Jeeves. indeed it is sir. I've brought a dozen of
27:53your evening shirts sir. a dozen? I'm not gonna be in this blasted hotel that long surely Jeeves.
27:57I could not say sir. but miss Rockmeteller, mr. Rockmeteller and his grace seem to be
28:02settling nicely into your apartment. I have put mr. Rockmeteller in the small
28:06spare room sir. how are the Duke and Rocky's aunt getting on? fortunately sir they have
28:10not yet met. you can't keep him apart forever Jeeves. mr. Bickersteth and mr.
28:14Rockmeteller are both aware of the situation sir and are endeavoring to
28:18keep the two parties at a distance. besides sir they both keep very different
28:21others. oh Rockmeteller it's all just as you painted it to me in your wonderful letters.
28:28it's awful Bertie. not having an allowance anymore. I mean if only this thing could have
28:56happened a couple of weeks later. my next month's allowance is due to roll in today.
28:59I could have worked a business I read about in a magazine. what's that? well it
29:02seems that you can make an absolute bally fortune if you can only get a few
29:05dollars together. I mean what you do is you just start a chicken farm. I mean
29:09obvious really when you think about it. you buy a hen and then it lays an egg
29:14every day of the week and then you sell the eggs for say sort of a dozen for 25
29:17cents. I mean everything is just pure profit after that. running a chicken
29:21costs absolutely nothing practically. but of course I can't do it because I've got the cash.
29:24oh well now Bicky you've only got to say the word. no I really couldn't sponge off you Bertie.
29:29I just couldn't. I can't. well in that case there's only one thing for it.
29:34what's that? Jeeves. I do not wish to appear to be taking a liberty sir but I
29:40think we have overlooked His Grace's potentialities as a source of revenue.
29:43I do not allude to the possibility of inducing His Grace to part with
29:48any money. I'm taking the liberty of regarding His Grace in the light of an
29:52at present if I may say so useless property which is capable of being
29:56developed. you could make it a bit clearer for us could you Jeeves? in a nutshell sir
30:00what I mean is this. His Grace is in a sense a prominent personage. now the
30:05inhabitants of this country as you are no doubt aware are peculiarly addicted
30:08to shaking hands with prominent personages. it occurred to me that either
30:12yourself or mr. Bickerstaff might know of persons who would be willing to pay a
30:15small fee say three or four dollars for the privilege of an introduction to His
30:19Grace handshake included in price of ticket. nobody is going to be mug enough
30:23to part with solid cash enough to shake hands with my father. I had an aunt sir
30:27who paid five shillings to a young man for bringing a moving picture actor to
30:31her house for tea on Sunday. it gave her social standing among the neighbors. now
30:36an alternative strategy might be to institute a search for a large group. a
30:40convention for instance might be in town.
30:45what do you think? I'm for it absolutely. where is your father is he in? no no no he went out for a walk in the park.
30:51what we've got to do here is... Jeeves! what are you doing here? me? oh well. have you got
31:00nothing better to do than hang around Rock Mattella's apartment all day?
31:07Jeeves! Rocky wake up. I'm not awake. Bicky's father's gone for a walk in the
31:16park but he'll be back in a minute. I'll have my breakfast now Jeeves. very good
31:20miss Rock Mattella.
31:26and Isabelle get your hat on. I beg your pardon. we gotta get out of here. get out I
31:31haven't had my breakfast yet. you haven't been eating breakfast at home miss Rock Mattella.
31:34where else would I eat my breakfast? nobody eats breakfast at home nowadays.
31:38there's a little diner over on West 98th Street they all go to every morning.
31:41Noel Power, Mary Pickford, Georgie Gershwin all there. all digging into the old
31:46ham and egg. at a diner on West 98th Street?
31:51I'm surprised you kept your aunt away from aunt's diner Rocky. still no time like a present?
31:56no no I haven't gotten a hat. hat? don't be a laughing stock. nobody wears a hat at aunt's.
32:00now come on Rocky. Jimmy Durante said he'd be there this morning to order this
32:03little jimmy now do you? oh no right. come along Rock Mattella. this sounds exciting.
32:10I'm most disappointed that we haven't been to this place before.
32:14well I've been saving it up as a treat.
32:16hello dad. come on in. who was that man Rock Mattella? what man? the man that just went
32:35into your apartment. oh him. oh he's come to fix the central heating. but that
32:40Englishman called him dad. did he? oh of course he did because that's his name.
32:46mr. dad. Aloysius dad. great plumber. who's that woman who just left? oh she'd come to
32:58measure up for new curtains. new curtains? is there no end your profligacy boy?
33:41come in. a bit more of this and I shall sneak quietly off to the river and end it all. oh
33:57come come Rocky. it can't be as bad as all that. it's simply infernal. you mean to say you do this
34:02sort of thing every night Bertie and enjoy it? apart from anything else I almost get brain fever
34:08inventing lies to tell Aunt Isabel and then I gotta swim around in this bloody evening clothes
34:12of yours. mine? you'll ruin them. well it's your fault you got me into this. it's my fault? how
34:18is it my fault? Jeeves then. it's all the same. I tell you Bertie I can't stand it. it's got to
34:23stop. can't Jeeves think of anything? he just hangs around saying most disturbing sir. a fat
34:29lot of good that does. at least you're saving yourself a lot of money. what do you mean saving
34:34money? she stopped the allowance. she wrote to the lawyer saying that now she's in New York
34:39there's no necessity for it as we shall always be together. come back. come back. come back to the
34:46apartment with me won't you Bertie. please. see if you and Jeeves can't think up something. please.
35:04thank you. thank you very much. thank you all just join the queue up here. thank you. thank you
35:28very much. that's marvellous. what on earth is going on? Jeeves has come up with trumps again.
35:36apparently he found a convention from out of town. the theatre the other night. they are prepared to
35:41pay three dollars each to shake hands with my father. what does your father think of it? that's
35:46all right he just thinks they're all friends of mine. now listen I better get back in there okay.
35:49I don't understand my nephew Jeeves. the boy has no stamina. are you sure this is the Hippodrome?
35:58quite sure miss Rockefeller. your seat is through there on the left.
36:11yes sir it's a real pleasure to shake the hand of a real live English Duke.
36:16we really got things moving in Birdsburg Duke. our new water supply system is the
36:23envy of the Midwest. and our sewage system. it's the best in the West. where's my aunt?
36:30you went to go with her for the matinee at the Hippodrome. she went with Jeeves in a cab.
36:33oh my god I completely forgot about it. but you can be saved brothers and sisters. yes you sinners
36:41can be saved if Jimmy Mundy is the man to do it. ah Mr. Jeeves. Mr. Jeeves. hello Mr. Jeeves.
36:51boost for Birdsburg gentlemen.
36:53are there many more Jeeves? I counted 78 outside the main buildings.
37:00well I must say Jeeves you've done jolly well. thank you sir. this means you. hallelujah.
37:09thank you. hello. I didn't know you had so many friends.
37:21yes really? yes. very kindly.
37:29thank you. thank you.
37:31come straight on through. the Duke is dying to meet you. thank you. thank you very much.
37:35thank you so much. how do you do? what message have you for Birdsburg Duke? I've never been to Birdsburg.
37:42what on earth is the meaning of this? it's the most rapidly growing city in the country.
37:52stop! that man is an imposter. how dare you madam. that man is no Duke I say you have been duped.
38:03I happen to know that he's a central heating engineer. how dare you madam. get back to your curtains.
38:09wait a minute. wait a doggone minute. I've been thinking about that. how do we know you're a real Duke anyway?
38:16he isn't. I don't see what business it is of yours but I can assure you that I am the Duke of Chiswick. this will prove it to you.
38:23Edgar Gascoigne Bickert's death. 8th Duke of Chiswick.
38:31we didn't pay good money to meet the 8th Duke. we want the first Duke or nothing.
38:41Francis! Francis! come here Francis. come on fellas it's a fraud. he's only the 8th Duke.
39:07I needed money to start the chicken farm. I mean listen you buy a hen and then it lays an egg every day of the week and then you simply sell the eggs.
39:29you let me suppose you were a successful businessman. well no it's not exactly a big deal sir.
39:34although he did exaggerate a bit. you see the thing is the poor old lad is absolutely stuck without all this.
39:39after this deceit not another penny.
39:41all he wants is a bit of capital. don't you think it would be rather weird if you were to...
39:49nonsense! never!
39:51thank you thank you I will see you all ladies and gentlemen.
40:03oh my god!
40:05there they are!
40:07no!
40:09how dare you!
40:11look!
40:13there they are the fat ones!
40:15this way gentlemen. I should advise a degree of alacrity your grace.
40:31what are you doing?
40:33they seem intent on arresting your grace for fraud.
40:35fraud?
40:37Francis look what you've done!
40:39well at least if I haven't got any money they'll feed me in jail.
40:41you'll pardon me for saying so sir but there is a way out of your present financial predicament.
40:45how?
40:47if the Duke is unwilling to finance your chicken farm sir you may be forced to sell his story in the newspapers.
40:53jeez you're right!
40:55he's right!
40:57they would too!
40:59I absolutely forbid it Francis!
41:01500 a year!
41:03500?
41:05yes yes yes all right!
41:07nobody leave!
41:09the place is surrounded!
41:11what are you doing in my nephew's apartment?
41:13you stay out of this!
41:15sir!
41:17my lord your grace!
41:19this is our floor.
41:21thank you jeez!
41:23thank you sir!
41:25open up in the name of the lord!
41:27mister jeez!
41:29hey you!
41:31are you addressing me officer?
41:33I ain't addressing nobody I'm talking to you!
41:35my name is Jeeves.
41:37are there any other ways out of this apartment?
41:39there they are!
41:41get him!
41:43you can have your money back.
41:45the money's not the point.
41:47a crime has been committed.
41:49a crime has not been committed!
41:51if I might be permitted to speak officer.
41:53no you might not!
41:55I don't like your attitude Jeeves.
41:57I was merely wondering officer whether these gentlemen really intended to prefer charges.
42:03sure they do!
42:05sure we do!
42:07will it redound to the good name of Birdsburg gentlemen
42:09if it is printed in every newspaper in the land
42:11that you the town's representatives
42:13were mousetrapped
42:15by a pair of suede shoe feather merchants?
42:19precisely gentlemen.
42:23well I guess no real harm has been done.
42:25yeah sure we'll drop the charges.
42:29let's go fellas.
42:31boost the Birdsburg!
42:33goddamn amateurs.
42:35come on men.
42:45I need a drink.
42:47no!
42:49I cannot stand idly by and see a young man going to perdition.
42:53I shudder at the wrong I did you by urging you into contact with this wicked city.
42:57but I thought you said that...
42:59this afternoon had the privilege of hearing mr. Monday speak on the subject of New York.
43:03Jimmy Monday?
43:05yes Jimmy Monday.
43:07I'm surprised at a man of your stamp having heard of him.
43:11there's no music there are no drunken dancing men
43:13no shameless flaunting women at his meetings.
43:15so for you they would have no attraction.
43:17and to think it was by the merest accident that I heard him.
43:21I asked your manservant Jeeves to take me to the hippodrome to the matinee.
43:25the man has very little intelligence.
43:27and I'm thankful for it.
43:29instead of the hippodrome he took me to where mr. Monday's holding his meetings.
43:35mr. Monday showed me the pomp and vanity of sitting in gilded haunts of vice.
43:41eating lobster and dancing the tango when decent people should be in bed.
43:47when he stood on one leg pointed at where I was sitting and shouted this means you!
43:55I could have sunk through the floor.
43:59now Rockmatteller you will go to the country won't you?
44:03you want me to go back and live in the country?
44:06yes Rockmatteller yes.
44:08back to that little cottage?
44:10for my sake Rockmatteller yes.
44:14um...
44:16all right now.
44:18now perhaps I can have some tea.
44:20does this apartment belong to my nephew or your son?
44:23well neither actually. it belongs to me.
44:25you?
44:29I'm of the opinion that the young people of today are far more trouble than they're worth.
44:33you're absolutely right mister.
44:37what do I call you?
44:39you may call me Edgar madam.
44:42miss.
44:44indeed.
44:46hmm
44:52what a master stroke Jeeves.
44:54sending Rocky's aunt along to see Jill Monday.
44:56thank you sir. I hope that you might accomplish the necessary alienation.
44:59what about the way she's committing?
45:01she looks like a young filly.
45:03indeed sir.
45:04Jeeves words fail me.
45:06very good sir.
45:08would you care to...
45:10thank you sir.
45:12why don't you take the right hand this time.
45:15one two three four
45:17music