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00:00Help me get this out, Bertie.
00:21Is that you back there, Mr. Worcester?
00:38Yes, yes, it's me, Mr. Cuddebare.
00:40Come on, Bertie, hurry up.
00:46I've got to get home and change.
00:48Good evening, Miss Pendlebury.
00:53I'm not stopping, Jeeves.
00:54I'm just making sure my painting gets here safely.
00:56Come on, Bertie, just put it down over there.
00:58Over.
00:59There, just lean it against the desk.
01:01Carefully now.
01:02Not too near the fire.
01:04I'll varnish it tomorrow.
01:05Right.
01:06Well, I think it's four whiskies in order, Jeeves.
01:07Very good, Sam.
01:08You haven't got time, Bertie.
01:10We've got to be at the party in an hour.
01:11I'll meet you at Gulhuli and Pimm's.
01:13You know the address?
01:14Good.
01:15Bye-bye, Jeeves.
01:16Good evening, Miss Pendlebury.
01:18What a wonderful girl that Gladys Pendlebury is, eh, Jeeves?
01:21She certainly seems a most vigorous young lady, sir.
01:23Yes, and looked upon as something of a hot tip in the art world, too, I'm told.
01:26Go down and do the picture, will you, Jeeves?
01:28I'd like your opinion on the work.
01:30Very good, Sam.
01:37You may ask, Jeeves, why I should spend perfectly good money
01:39commissioning a portrait of Aunt Agatha,
01:41scourge of the Worcesters.
01:43It did occur to me, sir, to wonder.
01:45This comparatively small investment, Jeeves,
01:47may well allow young Bertram to live out his remaining years
01:50in peace and tranquillity.
01:52Struck all of a heap by her nephew's apparent homage,
01:55said scourge will give a heartfelt blessing to his marriage
01:58to the talented artist who limbed said portrait,
02:00to which Gladys Pendlebury.
02:02If you say so, Sam.
02:04Jeeves, you don't like this spot of art?
02:06In my uncuted opinion, sir,
02:08Miss Pendlebury has given Mrs. Gregson
02:10somewhat too hungry an expression,
02:12a little like a dog.
02:14A little like a dog regarding a distant bone?
02:18There is no resemblance whatever
02:20to a dog regarding a distant bone, Jeeves.
02:22The look to which you refer is one of wisdom and tolerance.
02:25I particularly asked Miss Pendlebury to include that look
02:27at no extra charge, I may say,
02:29in spite of the fact that such an expression
02:31was far from apparent in the photograph she worked from.
02:33I see, sir.
02:36Ladies and gentlemen.
02:38Thank you.
02:40We hope you're all having as much fun
02:42as we of Gil Hooley and Pym are.
02:44My name is Lucius Pym.
02:46And just as our agency is proud
02:48to be advertising Slingsby's
02:50new range of superb soups,
02:53I'm proud to introduce you to
02:56Mr. Alexander Slingsby.
02:59Thank you.
03:01Thank you.
03:03Mr. Alexander Slingsby.
03:17We will not fail the American people,
03:21come rain, shine, or snow,
03:24through good times or bad.
03:26We will continue to provide
03:29Slingsby's superb soups
03:31to the tables of this great country of ours.
03:34Thank you.
03:41Soups do something to me
03:46Something that really mystifies me
03:50Slingsby's, how can it be
03:55You have the taste that satisfies me
04:00I just live for your broth
04:04Life's not the same since Slingsby's came
04:06You're a flame and I'm the moth
04:08Cause Slingsby's do something to soup
04:13That nobody else can do
04:22Isn't it great, Bertie?
04:24Oh, I just love advertising, don't you?
04:27Oh, look, here comes Lucius now.
04:30You were wonderful.
04:32Well, thanks.
04:33Bertie, I want you to meet Lucius Pym.
04:35Motto, Lucius?
04:36You in soup?
04:37Well, not yet.
04:38Well, excuse me.
04:41Bertie!
04:43Toppy!
04:44I thought you were back in England.
04:46No, no, no, I'm here.
04:48Trying to meet Alexander Slingsby.
04:50What for?
04:52I can't tell you, Bertie, I'm sorry.
04:54It's a secret.
04:57Do you know what the best soup in the world is, Bertie?
04:59Well, I always liked that one.
05:01They do it at the drones the day after we've had shepherd's pie.
05:03What they do is they take...
05:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:05It's a soup called cock-a-dee-kee.
05:07My old nanny used to make it for us.
05:09Oh, there are millions in this, Bertie.
05:11Now, I'm going to sell old Slingsby the secret recipe on a royalty basis, you understand.
05:14For every tin of soup they sell, I'll collect 80.
05:17Well, what does Slingsby say?
05:19Yes, well, I haven't been out of meeting yet.
05:21He just doesn't reply to my letters.
05:22I mean, that's why I've had to come here to...
05:24Well, anyway, it can't fail, Bertie.
05:27I just have to catch a whiff of that soup and I'm...
05:30Oh, transported back to my childhood.
05:34But does the populace at large want to be transported back to your childhood, Tuffy?
05:37That's what we have to ask ourselves.
05:39What do you mean?
05:41I say, there's Elizabeth over there.
05:44Who's Elizabeth?
05:46Elizabeth Vickers is the woman I intend to marry, Bertie.
05:48Marry? Well, congratulations on all that.
05:50Yes, well, in fact, she doesn't know anything about it yet.
05:52I'm going to ask her tonight.
05:54Well, come on.
05:56My husband will be so interested.
05:58Alexander just lives and breathes a soup.
06:00Hello, Elizabeth.
06:01Um, I'd like you to meet an old friend.
06:03Hildebrand, this is Mrs Slingsby.
06:06Of Slingsby's superb soups?
06:09Oh, how do...
06:11Ah!
06:13Ah.
06:15I'm most awfully sorry, I...
06:19You're so clumsy, Hildebrand.
06:21What the hell do you think you're doing, mister?
06:24Are you all right, Tallulah?
06:26Well, I was just...
06:28Mr Slingsby, I don't know where you got my neck...
06:30You keep out of this.
06:31Yes, yes, quite.
06:32Leave Mrs Slingsby alone, Wooster.
06:33What do you think you're doing?
06:35Cut along now, Wooster.
06:37You've done quite enough damage for one night.
06:40Now, what my idea is this, Mr Slingsby.
06:43I have this humdinger of a soup.
06:46I'm not at all easy in my mind about a certain cove
06:49by the name of Lucius Pym, Jeeves.
06:51Apart from the fact that he's something called an advertising agent
06:54and, as such, apparently in a position to do Gladys a bit of good professionally,
06:57his hair waves.
06:59One must never discount wavy hair, Jeeves.
07:01Thank you, sir. I shall endeavour to remember that.
07:04Will that be all, sir?
07:06Yes, Jeeves, that'll be all. Good night.
07:08Good night, sir.
07:11You know, it's strangely satisfying
07:13sitting here watching you varnish Aunt Agatha.
07:15As a matter of fact, my Aunt Agatha is something of a byword in art, sir.
07:19Isn't that so, Jeeves? Indeed so, sir.
07:21In what way?
07:22Well, you've heard of the Gregson Price Art Gallery?
07:24Of course.
07:25Well, my Aunt Agatha is the Gregson bit.
07:27Her name being Mrs Gregson, it was only to be expected, I suppose.
07:30This is Agatha Gregson?
07:32Absolutely.
07:33Coffee, Amos?
07:34Thank you, Jeeves.
07:35But why didn't you tell me?
07:37If she likes my portrait of her, it could do me a lot of good.
07:40Well, of course she'll like it, won't she, Jeeves?
07:43I'm sure Mrs Gregson will lose no time
07:45in expressing her opinion of the work, miss.
07:48Here's. We must get her to see it as soon as possible.
07:51Of course, dear Aunt Agatha's in England at the moment,
07:53but we'll take it over with this next month.
07:56Mrs Gregson to see you, sir?
07:58Aye.
07:59Ah!
08:00That it?
08:01Aunt Agatha, what are you doing in America?
08:04Sit.
08:06Sit!
08:09As you can see, Bertie, your cousins have at last been apprehended.
08:13Apprehended?
08:14Kindly do not interrupt me, Bertie.
08:16They sail for South Africa tomorrow on the Pride of Natal.
08:21Good.
08:23Is this supposed to be me?
08:25Uh, well, as a matter of fact...
08:27What an extraordinary dog.
08:29Oh, look here.
08:31And who pray are you?
08:32Ah, well, I'm glad you asked that, Aunt Agatha.
08:34Don't you talk to me like that!
08:36You are not the dealer I trust
08:38who's trying to pass this discoloured canvas off on my nephew?
08:43Oh!
08:46Gladys!
08:47Gladys!
08:48Wait! Wait!
08:49Never speak to me again, Bertie Worcester!
08:55Gladys!
08:56You see, I knew it.
08:58One comes to recognise these shady art dealers, you know.
09:01That was Gladys Pendlebury. She painted the picture.
09:03Oh, poor girl.
09:05You should have told me, Bertie.
09:07Had I known she was responsible,
09:09I would have been more forthright in my criticism.
09:11You could hardly have been more forthright, Aunt Agatha,
09:13without physical violence.
09:15It is as well for a young girl
09:17to be aware of her shortcomings early on in life.
09:20But to get back to Claude and Eustace,
09:22they leave tomorrow morning.
09:23But aren't they in the middle of their term at Oxford?
09:25They were expelled a month ago.
09:27We behave badly. We realise that very badly.
09:30Do be still.
09:31Their father is determined
09:32that they shall start life anew in the colonies.
09:35Their father's been dead for years.
09:37It is but a veil, Bertie.
09:38The veil can be pierced.
09:40Until they sail, they're in your charge.
09:43Mine?
09:44You will put them up here tonight
09:45and see that they are at the docks,
09:47ready to board the Pride of Natal tomorrow morning.
09:54Jolly decent of you to put us up, Bertie, old thing.
09:57Oh, not at all.
09:58I only wish you were staying a good long time.
10:00You hear that, Eustace?
10:01He wishes it was for a good long time.
10:03What do you propose to do, Bertie,
10:05in the way of entertaining your handsome guests tonight?
10:08Um, well, I suppose we could have a bit of dinner in the flat.
10:12And afterwards?
10:14Afterwards.
10:15Ah, well, I thought we might chat of this and that.
10:18And then it struck me
10:19that you'd probably want to turn in early.
10:21As your boat sails first thing in the morning.
10:24LAUGHS
10:54LAUGHS
11:14Time without end
11:19I wait for you
11:21This date for you
11:24Time without end
11:30Calendars don't matter
11:32Clocks can lose their chime
11:35My diary stands at empty
11:37Stock's not worth a dime
11:40I love you and I'll need you
11:42Till the end of time
11:45But when will the pendulum swing?
11:50Time without end
11:55Without a friend
11:57Without a spend
12:00Time without end
12:06With you
12:11APPLAUSE
12:21APPLAUSE
12:24No, no, no more champagne.
12:26No, I want to go home.
12:28Good afternoon, sir.
12:30Oh, jeez.
12:32Jeez, I'm getting too old for all this.
12:34I feel like something has been rejected by the pure food committee.
12:43What time is it?
12:44Just before one o'clock, sir.
12:46What? The boat, the boat!
12:48I put Mr Claude and Mr Eustace into a taxi for the docks myself at half past seven, sir.
12:53Oh, thank heavens, jeez.
12:55Well, at least I may have satisfied the scourge.
12:57What on earth am I going to do about Gladius, jeez?
12:59Aunt Agatha's behaviour really was beyond the rabbit-proof fence.
13:02Indeed, sir.
13:04Would you prefer breakfast or luncheon, sir, when you're dressed?
13:07Oh, breakfast, I think, jeez.
13:09No need to let standards drop.
13:11Just run my bath, will you?
13:13Very good, sir.
13:18BELL RINGS
13:23Hello?
13:25What do you know, Bertie?
13:27Had a nice, refreshing sleep?
13:30You're meant to be in South Africa.
13:32It's like this, old man.
13:34You remember that wonderful singer you introduced me to at Ciro's last night?
13:37Marian.
13:39Marian. We're soulmates, Bertie.
13:41Oh, pish.
13:43Soulmates.
13:46Is that breakfast you're having or lunch?
13:48I'll go and see what old Jeeves can rustle up. I'm famished.
13:51Smooth work, Bertie.
13:53Smooth work.
13:55Oh, my aunt, what are you doing here?
13:57I eluded poor old Claude in the customs shed and snaked off in a taxi.
14:01If you seriously expected me to go sloping off to South Africa,
14:04you shouldn't have introduced me to Marian last night.
14:07What a girl, Bertie. Yes, yes, yes.
14:09I'm not a man who falls in love with every girl he sees, Bertie.
14:12I suppose strong and silent are the best adjectives you could find for me.
14:17But when I do meet my affinity...
14:21What do you think you're doing here?
14:23Have you come back to inflict your beastly society on Miss Wardour?
14:26Is that why you sneak back here in this underhand fashion?
14:29Underhand? I like that.
14:31Well, may the best man win, that's what I say.
14:34Never mind about the best man. What about me?
14:36Suppose Aunt Agatha finds out?
14:38Hmm?
14:40Hmm?
14:44What time did Mr Claude and Mr Eustace get in last night, Jeeves?
14:47One at 3.45, sir, and the other at 3.50.
14:49How do they do it, Jeeves?
14:51Well, sir, I read an article last week in Scientific American
14:54which propounded the theory that we all contain something which it called a body clock.
14:58In the very young, this mechanism acts less like a clock
15:01and more like the mechanical toy which runs randomly around the floor at high speed,
15:06only changing direction when it bumps into an obstacle.
15:09Yes, well, all I hope is the spring unwinds before they bump into my Aunt Agatha.
15:12Indeed, sir.
15:14Meanwhile, we can only watch and pray.
15:16Miss Pendlebury is still proving obdurous, Jeeves.
15:18She wouldn't answer my telephone calls yesterday.
15:20In my experience, ladies who spell Gladys with a W
15:23are seldom noted for their reliability, sir.
15:25It gives them romantic notions.
15:27With a W, Jeeves? No, no, no. Spell it with a G.
15:30If I might draw your attention to the signature on the portrait, sir.
15:35Good Lord! G-W?
15:38I blame Alfred Lord Tennyson and his ideals of the king, sir.
15:42It also accounts for Catherine, Isabel and Ethel, all spelt with a Y.
15:46But Gladys with a W is a particularly virulent form, sir.
15:50Well, well, well.
15:54Come on, Bertie. We are going out to celebrate my engagement.
15:58Engagement, Tubby? You mean the poor unwitting girl said yes?
16:01She did. I told her, I said,
16:03I may be poor but honest now, but we could soon change all that.
16:06In a couple of months' time, I'll have the whole of New York at my feet.
16:09Well, all the ones who like soup, anyway.
16:11And she fell for it. She saw reason, Bertie.
16:13Who?
16:15Ha-ha-ha! Hook, line and watch of her calling.
16:17But it's the truth, isn't it?
16:19I mean, old Stingsby thinks my cock-a-leaky recipe is the bee's knees.
16:21I mean, his lawyers are drawing up a contract and everything.
16:24Well, congratulations, Tubby.
16:26I always said that one day your talent would be recognised.
16:28Well, come along. Lunch is on Bertie.
16:31Ah!
16:40Bertie!
16:45Ah!
17:01Ah, ah, ah, ah!
17:12Eustace!
17:23Good afternoon, Mrs Gregson.
17:25Jeeves, where is my nephew?
17:27I regret to say that Mr Worcester is not at home, Mrs Gregson.
17:30You may be surprised to learn, Jeeves, that I saw Mr Eustace not ten minutes ago.
17:36But surely Mrs Gregson...
17:37I plainly saw him, Jeeves, standing on the corner of 42nd Street and Broadway.
17:41This is sinister news indeed.
17:44My nephew was distinctly instructed to get those boys onto that boat.
17:47He was given that one small responsibility.
17:50What do you mean, sinister?
17:52Did Mr Eustace look pale, perhaps?
17:55Pale?
17:57Well, yes, now you mention it, but of course with the life he's been leading.
18:01And what precisely was he doing, Mrs Gregson?
18:04He was hailing a taxi.
18:05I see. Standing perhaps like this?
18:07Yes, yes, yes.
18:09I sincerely hope that all is well with the two young gentlemen.
18:12Why shouldn't it be?
18:13You'll pardon my saying, Mrs Gregson,
18:15but Mr Claude and Mr Eustace are surely on board the SS Pride of Natal.
18:19I saw them myself into a taxi bound for the docks on Thursday morning.
18:23And yet now you tell me that this morning you saw the pale figure of Mr Eustace
18:28standing with arm upraised in valediction as you passed by.
18:36Good heavens!
18:38Jeeves!
18:43Bertie, I'm uneasy.
18:45Uneasy, eh?
18:46On my way to the gallery this morning,
18:48I saw quite clearly, as clearly as I see you now,
18:52the phantasm of poor dear Eustace.
18:55The what of poor dear Eustace?
18:57Pay attention, Bertie.
18:59The phantasm.
19:01The wraith.
19:03Oh, all right, Aunt Agatha. It's a fair cop. I tried...
19:06Do me quiet, boy.
19:08It was only for a moment,
19:10but it was so clear
19:12that for an instant I thought it was Eustace himself.
19:15Do you think those poor dear boys are safe, Bertie?
19:19They've not met with some horrible accident.
19:24Oh, I see. A phantasm of wraith.
19:28Um, well, I mean to say, by Jove, it's always possible.
19:31Those in peril on the sea and what not,
19:33pretty dangerous stuff, water, you know, typhoons and so on, waves.
19:36Don't blither, Bertie.
19:39No. Right.
19:43Well, I'm sorry, Eustace.
19:45Marianne does not want to see you. She could have said as much last night.
19:48What rot? She said to me she was fed up with you
19:51hanging around like a botcher with the crew.
19:53I've got a bone to pick with you.
19:55Not now, old chap. No time for bone-picking.
19:57I'm just off to take Marianne to the races.
19:59I'm taking Marianne to the races!
20:01Neither of you is taking Marianne to the races.
20:03You were seen this morning by Aunt Agatha.
20:05No.
20:07Fortunately, she's got it into her head that you were some kind of wraith.
20:10That's why I'm going to the wraith track.
20:12Jolly as it may seem to go around giving Aunt Agatha shocks,
20:15I absolutely forbid you from wandering at large around the matrop.
20:18Well, I suppose we could buy a couple of disguises.
20:22My dear old chap, the brightest idea on record.
20:25That's settled, then.
20:27What a lark about the accident, though, Bertie, eh?
20:30Accident?
20:32What accident?
20:40Jeeves?
20:45Jeeves?
21:09Am I a man to complain?
21:11Good afternoon, sir. No, indeed not, sir.
21:13No, no, that's what I thought. However...
21:15You were about to inquire, I beg to imagine, sir,
21:17who is in your pyjamas in the second-best bedroom.
21:20Well, yes, Jeeves. Yes, call me an old fuddy-duddy, if you will,
21:23but that thought was in the process of crossing my mind.
21:25Miss Pendlebury had the misfortune to run over a gentleman in her car
21:29almost immediately outside this building, sir.
21:31He sustained a slight fracture of the leg.
21:33But Miss Pendlebury's all right.
21:35Physically, her condition appeared to be satisfactory, sir.
21:37She was suffering a certain distress of mind.
21:39Ah, well, that's her beautiful and sympathetic nature, you see.
21:42It must be a hard world for a girl, Jeeves,
21:44with fellows flinging themselves under the wheels of her car
21:47in an unending stream.
21:49But what's the chump doing in my pyjamas?
21:51It was Miss Pendlebury who desired the gentleman
21:53to be brought out to the apartment, sir.
21:55She also instructed me to summon a medical man
21:57and to telephone the gentleman's sister.
21:59What's his sister got to do with this?
22:01The patient's next of kin, sir.
22:03This sister appeared most desirous of seeing you.
22:05Ah, wanting to thank me brokenly, I suppose,
22:07for putting up her little brother, eh?
22:09Possibly, sir. On the other hand,
22:11she seemed to you in tone suggestive of disapprobation.
22:14Feckless idiot was one of the terms she employed.
22:17Feckless idiot?
22:26Come.
22:30You? Ah, Worcester.
22:33You didn't tell me it was Lucius Pym.
22:35I didn't wish to distress you any further, sir.
22:37Well, how long was he going to be here?
22:39About a week or so, I fancy.
22:41A week? Now, about this accident, Worcester.
22:44My sister is married to Alexander Slingsby.
22:48Oh, the soup man? Yes, I met him the other night.
22:51Yes, the point I am trying to make
22:53is that my sister loves me devotedly,
22:55and she might try to persecute poor little Gladys
22:57if she knew that it was she
22:59who was driving the car that laid me out.
23:01She doesn't know?
23:03I told her that I was knocked over by a car driven by you.
23:06Wait a minute. Wait a minute. By me?
23:08I'm calling on you tomorrow, and I recommend,
23:10if you want to place an interview,
23:12that you sweeten her a bit.
23:14Send her some champagne, a few smiles,
23:16a tactful word or two,
23:18and she'll be melted before you know where you are.
23:24Oh, a blasted nerve, Jeeves.
23:26The gentleman does seem to have an ample supply of effronteries, eh?
23:29Lucius Pym thinks I'm going to knuckle under
23:31to this ludicrous scheme of his,
23:33and then Lucius Pym has got another thing
23:35fast approaching the five furlong marker.
23:37We wusses are made of sterner stuff than the Pyms of this world imagine, Jeeves.
23:40I'm sure that's true, sir.
23:42Still, it wouldn't do any harm to send a case of champagne, I suppose.
23:45I'm having dinner with Tuppy.
23:52I could leave the old days behind
23:55Leave all my pals
23:57I'd never mind
24:00I could start my life all anew
24:03If I had you
24:17I could be a king, dear, uncrowned
24:20Humble or poor
24:22Rich or renowned
24:25There is nothing I couldn't do
24:28If I had you
24:33If I had you
24:44Well, I'd just like to say that old Tuppy's a lucky dog.
24:47To Elizabeth and Tuppy.
24:49We're going to be very happy together, aren't we, darling?
24:51Yes, well, if you remember that I'm here.
24:53I suppose that's just possible.
24:56You haven't taken your eyes off that fat singer since she came on.
24:59But she was singing.
25:01Do I have to stand up and sing in order to get any attention?
25:04Of course not, darling. I was just...
25:06I have never in all my life been so humiliated.
25:11What does she mean?
25:13Elizabeth!
25:14Puppet!
25:18What ho?
25:19Bertie, we took your advice.
25:32Come.
25:39A fine painter, Miss Pendlebury, is she not, Mr. Pym?
25:42She's a great girl, Jeeves.
25:44I just can't seem to get anywhere with her.
25:46Such a pity that her work is confined to so small an audience.
25:50It has often struck me that the man who will win Miss Pendlebury
25:53is the man who can further her career.
25:57Don't you have to go running after that fellow Pym all the time, Jeeves?
26:00It's really no trouble, sir.
26:02If he wants a room service, he can go to a hotel and pay for it.
26:05Any sign of the dreaded sister here?
26:07No, sir.
26:08I'm going to get on with practising my putting.
26:10I should have my entire schedule put up.
26:12Very good, sir.
26:13Oh, Jeeves, how's it going?
26:15It's going well, sir.
26:16I've got to go.
26:17I've got to go.
26:18I've got to go.
26:19I've got to go.
26:20I've got to go.
26:21I've got to go.
26:22I've got to go.
26:23I've got to go.
26:24Very good, sir.
26:25Oh, Jeeves, I'll think about the Gladys Pendlebury umbrella, will you?
26:28I'm absolutely at my wit's end.
26:30Certainly, sir.
26:31And will that be all, sir?
26:33Yes, Jeeves, that'll be all.
26:54Mr Alexander Slingsby, is he here, sir?
27:22I need hardly tell you why I'm here, Worcester.
27:26Oh, no, of course not, absolutely.
27:28No, it's that little matter of...
27:30Little matter?
27:31Let me tell you.
27:32When I find a man who's been annoying my wife with importunities I regard it as anything but a little matter.
27:37I shall endeavour to make you see the thing in the same light.
27:40There must be some mistake.
27:42There is.
27:43You made it.
27:44First, you molest her at my party.
27:46Then you send her liquor, trying to lush her up, are you?
27:49No, no.
27:50Yes, yes.
27:51Help me, Tallulah.
27:52What have you done?
27:53First my brother, then my husband.
27:54You beast!
27:55Bertie!
27:56But Gladys!
27:57I...
27:59Hiya, Jeeves.
28:25Mr Worcester's cousins out around, are they?
28:27No, Miss Wardall.
28:28Thank God for that.
28:29Bertie!
28:30I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do something about those cousins of yours.
28:34You'll see you've got to deal with them, are you?
28:35I can't take a step without tripping over them.
28:38I'm leaving town, Bertie.
28:40It can't be as bad as that, surely.
28:42Can't it just?
28:44They've taken to calling it my apartment together.
28:47They just settle down grimly and try to sit each other out.
28:50It's wearing me to a shadow.
28:52I've taken an engagement at a resort for the summer just to get away from them.
28:56This is a bit steep, Jeeves.
28:57Approaching the perpendicular, sir.
29:00It's them!
29:02Jeeves, quick, the fire's getting out.
29:05This way, Miss.
29:09Bertie, I haven't slept a wink.
29:12I came to tell you that I must leave New York for a few days.
29:16I simply must rest.
29:17Well, I think that's fair.
29:18I'm so worried about poor Claude and Eustace.
29:21I sent a cable to the ship, but I've had no reply.
29:24No, well, they do it with flags and all that sort of thing.
29:27Takes a bit of time.
29:28Please don't let him talk nonsense, Jeeves.
29:31Very good, madam.
29:33I shall be in Long Island for the next week or two.
29:36I'm staying with Mr. Prysak's nephew and his wife at Bayshore.
29:40I hope that the next time you see me, I shall be more like myself again.
29:47She's scratched the fixture, Bertie.
29:50No, she has.
29:52Won't let me near her.
29:54Refuses to talk on the phone.
29:56Sends back my letters unopened.
29:58Well, a firm stand is what's required here, Tuppy.
30:01Never let them see the whites of your eyes.
30:03They can smell fear, you know.
30:04What's the point of me making a firm stand?
30:06If she won't see me, she won't know I'm making it.
30:08Anyway, she's gone off to see an aunt at the seaside.
30:11Well, then follow her.
30:13No, no, I couldn't, Bertie.
30:15I'm not all by myself.
30:18Tell you what.
30:20Why don't we both go?
30:22Me?
30:25Well, a spot of sea air might put some wind in our sails.
30:28Don't you think, Jeeves?
30:29It's always possible, sir.
30:30My sails can do with a bit of wind in them.
30:32What's this Bayshore place like, Tuppy?
30:34You've been there before, haven't you?
30:36I've been there before.
30:37I've been there before.
30:38I've been there before.
30:39I've been there before.
30:40I've been there before.
30:41You've been there before, haven't you?
30:42To my cottage.
30:43I didn't know you had a dressing cottage.
30:45Oh, yes, yes, yes.
30:46Just rented it for the summer.
30:47Just a, well, just a little shack we're in.
30:51Bayshore, please, one way.
30:54Bayshore, please.
30:56Bayshore, one way.
31:03Bayshore, Long Island.
31:05Ma'am.
31:12What about a brisk walk, eh, Tuppy?
31:15I don't think so, no.
31:19She's just over there, Bertie.
31:22Not half a mile away.
31:25Laughing, joking.
31:28We could go down to the beach.
31:30No, no, no, no.
31:32No, no, no, no.
31:33No, no, no, no.
31:34No, no, no, no.
31:35No, no, no, no.
31:36No, no, no, no.
31:37No, no, no, no.
31:38No, no, no.
31:39No, no, no.
31:40We could go down to the beach.
31:41Elizabeth might be there on the beach.
31:43We might be able to save her from drowning or something.
31:45I can't swim.
31:50Kept up with the roses, Jeeves?
31:51Yes, indeed, sir.
31:52A dozen delivered daily to Miss Vickers
31:54with Mr. Glossop's name on the card.
31:56On the chocolates?
31:57Yes, sir.
31:58Well, he doesn't do anything.
31:59Follows her all the way down here,
32:00then just moons about the place,
32:01rubbing ointment into his mosquito bites.
32:03One is consoled by the reflection
32:04that it is a healthy life, sir.
32:06He's become quite a popular pet with the mosquitoes.
32:09They never bite me, do they, you?
32:10No, sir.
32:11They just seem to hang around waiting for Tuppy.
32:13They want to be in good condition for him.
32:15Jeeves, that's her.
32:16That's Elizabeth Vickers.
32:18Indeed, sir.
32:19And that blob covered in sand and ice cream
32:21must be her nephew or something.
32:22It would appear so, sir.
32:25Jeeves.
32:27I have an idea.
32:28Nay, an inspiration.
32:29I shall be most interested to hear it, sir.
32:31We are going to kidnap that child.
32:34I shall be returning to the cottage now, sir,
32:36if that is consistent with your wishes.
32:38Mary Dashwood is not consistent with my wishes, Jeeves.
32:41I can't carry out a thing like this single-handed.
32:43I regret that the terms of my employment
32:45do not permit me to take part in criminal activity, sir.
32:48Oh, what rot, Jeeves.
32:50We're only going to borrow him for an hour.
32:52In any case, there's nothing remotely criminal
32:53about bringing two loving hearts together.
32:55That is not an assertion I should care to see
32:57tested in a court of law, sir.
32:59Well, you disappoint me, Jeeves.
33:01Is this the way the Jeeveses of old faced fearful odds?
33:04I should imagine, sir, that it must have been,
33:06or else the line would have been speedily extinguished.
33:26Is it possible to stop it making that dreadful noise, do you think?
33:29Don't they have a switch or something?
33:31I wonder if they like a pulley.
33:32Bound to, I should imagine.
33:37Ah, I think I might have a bit of a talent for this.
33:40Anyway, to return to the matter in hand,
33:42there's Elizabeth, distraught and guilty
33:44because she's misplaced the child.
33:45Dear old Tubby suddenly appears,
33:47leading the infant by a rather sticky hand
33:49and telling some story to the effect that he found it
33:51wandering at large around the countryside
33:52and practically saved its life.
33:54Well, the girl's gratitude is bound to make her
33:56chuck hostilities and become friends again.
33:58I see.
34:00I see.
34:02There's something in this, Bertie.
34:06You take it for a minute. I'm covered head to foot in honey.
34:09Serves you right. It was your idea.
34:11Where did you say she was sitting?
34:12Over there, where those decks...
34:14There!
34:15There, there, there.
34:16Oh, yes.
34:18Oh, Elizabeth.
34:20No time for all that here.
34:22She doesn't seem to be doing much searching.
34:25She's looking out to sea,
34:26wondering if it's drifted off, I dare say.
34:28That's right. Well...
34:30Here goes.
34:37It's no relation at all.
34:39It's just some kid she met at the beach.
34:42She was helping it build a sandcastle.
34:44She'd never seen it before in her life.
34:46She just listened like an iceberg
34:48while I went through the story about saving its life,
34:50then told me I was a liar, an outcast and a worm.
34:53Good Lord.
34:54Is that all you've got to say?
34:56Well, I'm going to the house across the road.
34:58They won't say any different there.
35:00They have a house across the road.
35:02Well, I'm going to the house across the road.
35:04They won't say any different there.
35:06They have a child's nurse, idiot.
35:08Maybe she'll be able to stop that... noise.
35:13Now then, listen to me.
35:18I want to know your address.
35:20I get sticky.
35:22This is a very serious matter.
35:25Thank you, no, I think I'll wait until dinner.
35:28Now then, where do you live?
35:32Who is your father?
35:35Well, look at me when I'm talking to you.
35:37Father, where is he?
35:39Well, think, man, think.
35:41Dada.
35:42Yes, that's the chap. Where is he?
35:45Well, I don't know if this child is concealing something to you
35:48or if he's simply thoroughly vapid and uninformed about current events.
35:51It's hard to tell, sir.
35:52More or less admits that he has a father and then just clams up.
35:55Never seems to have occurred to the blasted child
35:57while sitting in an evening chatting with the old man
35:59to ask him his name and address.
36:00It's often the way, sir.
36:01The younger generation takes little interest in the activities of its elders.
36:05It has occurred to me, sir.
36:07You haven't had one of your ideas, have you, Jeeves?
36:09Not for ridding ourselves of the infant, no, sir.
36:12But it seems to me that we might, being burdened with the child,
36:15at least use it to solve Mr Glossop's problem.
36:18Really? I don't see that.
36:20Well, sir, I attended the performance of a cinema film recently
36:24in which the estranged parents of the child
36:27were brought together again by the tot in question.
36:29Well, how?
36:31If I remember rightly, sir, it said,
36:33Dada, doesn't who love mummy no more?
36:36Dada, doesn't who love mummy no more?
36:39And that did the trick, did it, Jeeves?
36:41Oh, yes, indeed, sir.
36:43The picture concluded with a close-up of the happy pair in fond embrace
36:47with the child looking on with natural gratification.
36:50Jeeves, I follow you absolutely.
36:52It's big.
36:53We lay the scene right here.
36:55Child centre stage, girl left of centre,
36:57tuppy upstage.
36:58Dialogue leading up to line, child speaks line,
37:01something like, er,
37:02Booful lady, doesn't who love tuppy?
37:04Ah, can a child learn its line, Jeeves?
37:07Well, sir, if I might make the suggestion,
37:09I would advocate the words kiss tuppy.
37:12It's short, readily memorised
37:14and has what I believe is technically termed the punch.
37:18Genius, Jeeves.
37:23No, you must say kiss tuppy.
37:28I'm sorry, unless you comply with our wishes in this matter,
37:31no more tuppies will be forthcoming.
37:33It's no good talking to him like that, Jeeves.
37:35I'm doing my best, sir.
37:37Well, don't give him a tuppy until he comes up with the goods.
37:39You're being far too soft on him. Let me have a go.
37:41Right, now then, say kiss tuppy.
37:44Kiss tuppy.
37:45Kiss tuppy.
37:47There you are, you see, Jeeves, you did it.
37:49Well done, sir.
37:50Have you been eating these?
37:52No, sir.
37:53No, well, better hop down to the shop and get some more.
37:56Very good, sir.
37:57Right, now then, Toffee, say kiss tuppy.
38:00Kiss tuppy.
38:02Well done.
38:04That's the last one for the moment.
38:06Emergency supplies on the way.
38:10It's Mr Wooster, isn't it?
38:11We met with Hilda Ranglossop in New York.
38:13Oh, yes, yes, Elizabeth Vickers, nice to see you.
38:16I don't understand, is that your baby?
38:18Mine? Oh, good Lord, no, no, I've just got the use of it for a bit.
38:21We got to be real friends on the beach.
38:23Hello, baby.
38:25Friends, eh? Well, well, well, small world and all that.
38:30I brought these back for Hildebrand.
38:32He won't seem to accept that all is over between us.
38:34Oh, the flowers and the chocolates.
38:36What's all this, then?
38:38Oh.
38:39I brought your gifts back, Hildebrand.
38:41What gifts?
38:43Those gifts, roses, chocolates.
38:46Well, I never sent them.
38:48Oh, how pathetic, and how typical, if I may say so.
38:51No, you blasted well may not say so.
38:54I never sent you any...
38:56..dratted presents.
39:02I don't care whose name's on the blasted card.
39:05Don't care? Well, listen, that just like you.
39:08Do you care about anything, Hildebrand Glossop?
39:10Well, yes, I do, since you so kindly ask.
39:13I care about having my privacy disturbed by some...
39:17..dratted girl accusing me of buying her roses and chocolates.
39:21I bet you bought presents for that fat singer.
39:23I have no interest in any singer, fat or otherwise.
39:27Well, you seem to be showing her plenty of interest that night...
39:33What did he say?
39:36Good afternoon, miss.
39:42What the hell's going on here?
39:44Better give him one of these. He won't stop until you do.
39:46What on earth are you doing, Wooster?
39:48Well, we had the idea of training the infant...
39:50..to interject the phrase kiss tuppy into the conversation...
39:53..whenever a piece of toffee hove into view.
39:55We thought it might soften you up a bit.
39:57You trained the baby to...
40:01Oh, Hildebrand.
40:04Oh, I've never heard anything so ridiculous.
40:07Oh, you're such a fool, Tuppy.
40:09Kiss tuppy.
40:13Just a silly, silly idea, really.
40:15And I do love you.
40:17Oh.
40:19Oh.
40:21Kiss tuppy.
40:26Good work.
40:35Good afternoon, gentlemen.
40:37Can't find Miss Wardor anywhere, Jeeves.
40:40I wonder if she might be visiting her old friends, the Prysocks.
40:44The Prysocks?
40:45The large white house on the right.
40:47White. Right.
40:49Perhaps you gentlemen would be kind enough...
40:51..to take something over there for Mr Wooster.
41:00Can I see it?
41:02Excuse us.
41:04What?
41:05We were asked to deliver this.
41:07Oh, I thought there was one missing.
41:09Just put him down somewhere, will you?
41:14Is, uh, Marion here?
41:16Who?
41:17Marion Wardor.
41:19Never heard of her.
41:20You know, the singer.
41:22We were told that...
41:24They? I was...
41:26You!
41:29Agatha!
41:36Agatha!
41:42Faster, faster! We're lost!
41:56Agatha!
41:58Agatha!
42:00Agatha!
42:02Agatha!
42:04Stop the car!
42:15Claude Fustus!
42:17What is the meaning of this?
42:29And to think it took a little child to bring us together, darling.
42:32I know! I'll never eat a toffee again without thinking of you, darling.
42:36One can have too much of C.A.R.G.'s.
42:38Gets into the brain.
42:40Very true, sir.
42:50Wait a minute!
42:52It can't be!
42:54Good God!
42:58That's my Aunt Agatha!
43:00And that's my soup!
43:07I demand to see Lucius Pym.
43:09Me too.
43:10Bertie!
43:11Gladys! What are you doing here?
43:13Well, I work here. Lucius offered me a wonderful job.
43:15Oh, did he? Well, then perhaps either you or he can tell me what my aunt's portrait is doing pasted all over the countryside.
43:20And what about my cock-a-leeky soup?
43:22You! I thought I told you I never want to see your ugly mug again.
43:26Well, I like that.
43:30What about the money you owe me?
43:32I don't owe you one goddamn red cent.
43:35My wife looked up your cockamamie soup in a cookbook.
43:39It's cock-a-leeky.
43:41My nanny never wrote a cookbook.
43:43She didn't have to.
43:45It's in every cookbook from here to Vladivostok.
43:48Oh, Hildebrand!
43:53Elizabeth!
43:55Yes, well, none of this alters the fact that you used my painting.
43:59That's got nothing to do with me.
44:01That's what I pay an advertising agent for.
44:05When your brother suggested, I buy one of my fiancé's paintings.
44:09What fiancé?
44:11Gladys and I are going to be married.
44:15We wanted you to be the first to know.
44:17Well, almost.
44:20This time you will go to South Africa
44:23and you will settle down and be of no further worry to your poor mother.
44:27No, Aunt Agatha. We were led astray, Aunt Agatha.
44:30Yes, well, there's some truth in that.
44:32Your cousin certainly has much to answer for.
44:35Take your hats off.
44:39Well, I must say, Jeeves, I think it was a dashed nerve of you
44:42selling my portrait of Aunt Agatha.
44:44Oh, you mustn't be cross with Jeeves, Bertie.
44:46Look how brilliantly he got rid of Claude and Eustace for me.
44:49Tell me, Jeeves, how did you know the kid belonged to the lesser price ox?
44:53The woman in the village shop saw the child in Mr Glossop's gardens
44:56and, knowing the price ox, enquired whether Mr Glossop was related.
44:59And we're both better off than poor Tuppy.
45:02Yes, well, serves him right, him and his nanny's cock-a-leaky soup.
45:08You do something to cock-a-leaky Jeeves
45:13You do something to cock-a-leaky
45:16Something to really mortify him
45:21You've made old Tuppy feel quite peaky
45:26What can we do to fortify him?
45:31Brilliant.
45:32He'd lost sleep for that soup.
45:36Er, Jeeves?
45:37At one fell swoop, the Slingsby group
45:40knocked Mr Glossop for a loop, sir.
45:43Cos you do something to cock-a-leaky
45:48That's given old Tuppy croup
45:52Well, cheerio.
45:58Soup to something to me
46:02Something that really divides me
46:07Slingsby's how I'll be
46:11You have the taste to satisfy
46:15Oh, my!
46:17That's the soup to me
46:20That's the soup to me
46:24Cos Slingsby's due
46:27Something to soothe
46:29That nobody else can do
46:34Bertie!
46:37Bertie!