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00:00Do you ever feel like throwing open the window and shouting that the world is a wonderful
00:10place, Jeeves?
00:11Um, no, sir.
00:12Or dancing in the street, scattering petals on the passersby?
00:17Only infrequently, sir.
00:18Well, then it's quite obvious that you've never been threatened with marriage by the
00:21appalling Madeline Bassett, only to be saved at the bell by the intervention of the unspeakable
00:26Roderick Spode.
00:27They make an interesting couple, don't they, sir?
00:31Let us hope that the engagement stays the course.
00:33It's only going to stay until Saturday, Jeeves.
00:36We have dispatched the traditional toast rack.
00:38On Sunday morning, Madeline Bassett will awaken as the Countess of Sidcup and be out of Bertram's
00:42hair forevermore.
00:43I trust that your optimism is justified, sir?
00:46You're being a positive wet blanket this morning, Jeeves.
00:48I'm going down to the drones while you pack.
00:51Very good, sir.
00:52Thank you.
00:53Ah!
00:54What's new, Bertie?
00:55I haven't seen you on a new day.
00:56I know.
00:57I've been rather busy.
00:58Coming down to Totley this week?
00:59Totley?
01:00No.
01:01The wedding.
01:02Madeline Bassett and Roderick Spode.
01:03Oh, no, no, no.
01:04I wouldn't be after that.
01:05This is the time Barbie and I dressed up in black shorts for one of Spode's rallies and
01:06bombarded him with turnips.
01:07Well, I'm sorry you won't be able to join us.
01:08Well, I couldn't anyway, as a matter of fact.
01:09Far too busy with Plumbo Jumbo.
01:10Plumbo Jumbo?
01:11Plumbo Jumbo.
01:12It's a good name, isn't it?
01:13That was my idea.
01:14I've signed up for it.
01:15It's a good name.
01:16I've signed up for it.
01:17It's a good name.
01:18I've signed up for it.
01:19It's a good name.
01:20It's a good name.
01:21It's a good name.
01:22It's a good name.
01:23It's a good name.
01:24It's a good name.
01:25It's a good name.
01:26It's a good name.
01:27It's a good name.
01:28It's a good name.
01:29It's a good name.
01:30It's a good name.
01:31It's a good name.
01:32It's a good name.
01:33It's a good name.
01:34It's a good name.
01:35It's a good name.
01:36It's a good name.
01:37It's a good name.
01:38It's a good name.
01:39It's a good name.
01:40It's a good name.
01:41It's a good name.
01:42It's a good name.
01:43It's a good name.
01:44It's a good name.
01:45It's a good name.
01:46It's a good name.
01:47It's a good name.
01:48It's a good name.
01:49It's a good name.
01:50It's a good name.
01:51It's a good name.
01:52It's a good name.
01:53It's a good name.
01:54It's a good name.
01:55It's a good name.
01:56It's a good name.
01:57It's a good name.
01:58It's a good name.
01:59It's a good name.
02:00It's a good name.
02:01It's a good name.
02:02It's a good name.
02:03It's a good name.
02:04It's a good name.
02:05It's a good name.
02:06It's a good name.
02:07It's a good name.
02:08It's a good name.
02:09It's a good name.
02:10Are you alright, sir?
02:15You ought to take more care, cocky.
02:21Dancing in the middle of a street like that.
02:24I thought you were a goner.
02:25Well, I blasted well nearly was a goner.
02:26Ah, sherry-ooster.
02:27Hello, Reggie.
02:28Do you know him, Jeeves?
02:32I fear so, sir.
02:35His name is Brinkley.
02:37Perhaps he would care to come into the Gannamede Club
02:38for a restorative play?
02:39restorative glass of whiskey, sir.
02:41Well...
02:43Sir, this is your famous Ganymede Club, is it?
02:45Jolly nice place. Thank you.
02:47It's good of you to say so, sir.
02:49Do I have to be a valet or a butler to be a member, is that it?
02:51Quite so, sir.
02:53Haven't seen you on sec, have you, Reggie?
02:55I can't find the fella anywhere.
02:57I'm afraid not, Brinkley.
02:59What a do, eh?
03:01Don't miss the emergency meeting, Reggie.
03:03Is that blighter?
03:05Is he a valet or a butler?
03:07Not now, sir.
03:09An uncle in the grocery business died
03:11and left him a house and a comfortable sum of money.
03:13You employed him once, if you recall, sir.
03:15I did? What as?
03:17It was during that uncomfortable period, sir,
03:19when you and I had had a disagreement
03:21about your trombone playing.
03:23Oh, good grief, yes.
03:25He got drunk and burnt my cottage down.
03:27Now he's a landed gent, you say?
03:29Scarcely that, sir.
03:31He has a small establishment in Totley-in-the-Wold.
03:33Coincidentally enough.
03:38There is something I ought to tell you, sir.
03:40Tell away, Jeeves.
03:42The purpose of the emergency meeting
03:44to which Mr Brinkley referred
03:46was to discuss the theft of the Ganymede Club book.
03:52Theft, Jeeves?
03:54Yes, sir.
03:56It's been stolen?
03:58The book in which you've written down
04:00all my endearing eccentricities
04:02for the amusement of your fellow Ganymedians?
04:04Not only your characteristics, sir,
04:06as a gentleman's gentleman's gentleman,
04:08if I may so put it,
04:10and by no means for their amusement, sir,
04:12but as a serious guide to those considering employment.
04:14The penalties for omitting any details are severe, sir.
04:17Well, you know what that blasted book invites, Jeeves.
04:19Blackmail, that's what it invites.
04:21Now you tell me that the blasted thing has been stolen.
04:23Well, what will be the upshot, Jeeves?
04:25Ruin. That'll be the upshot.
04:27I'm sorry, sir.
04:29It's not an expression I often use, Jeeves, but...
04:32Very good, sir.
04:37CAR ENGINE REVS
04:44Good Lord! Ginger Winship!
04:47Bertie! Well, nice to see you.
04:49You're not down here for the wedding?
04:51No, no. There's a by-election. I'm standing for Parliament.
04:53No. I am.
04:55But you're an absolute idiot, Ginger.
04:57I know, but it's a safe seat.
04:59I didn't particularly want to, as a matter of fact,
05:01but my fiancée insisted.
05:03She said I ought to carve out a career for myself.
05:05A drink? No.
05:07My fiancée says drink hardens the arteries.
05:09Ah, well, my arteries could do with a bit of hardening.
05:11She has me on a reducing diet, too.
05:13Good God! Sounds just like Florence Cray.
05:16Who sounds just like Florence Cray?
05:18Ah, Florence.
05:20No, well, Ginger was just telling me about this...
05:22this beautiful, highly intelligent girl
05:24he's got himself engaged to, and I said...
05:26Harold is engaged to me.
05:28Ah, well, that explains it.
05:30You're down for Madeleine's wedding, I presume?
05:32Good.
05:34You can do some canvassing for Harold while you're down here.
05:36Ah, well... Good.
05:38Come on, Harold, you've got your meeting in ten minutes.
05:41You too, Bertie.
05:58Mrs McCorkadale?
06:03Ah.
06:12Ladies and gentlemen.
06:14Well...
06:16Um...
06:18As you know...
06:20Well, of course, perhaps you don't.
06:22Well, anyway, it's true.
06:24There's a by-election in Tockley-in-the-Wold.
06:26Hear, hear!
06:28Thank you.
06:30Oh, um...
06:32My name's Winship, by the way.
06:34Harold Winship.
06:36And I'm, well, sort of...
06:38standing.
06:40I'm your...
06:42What do you call it?
06:44Candidate.
06:46Oh, as a Conservative, of course.
06:50I mean...
06:52if you'd like to vote for anybody,
06:54I'd be, well, jolly grateful
06:56if it was, well, me.
06:59APPLAUSE
07:01Thanks, awfully.
07:03How'd it go?
07:05Not that it matters.
07:07Winship hasn't gotten earthly.
07:09Take my word for it, Cocky.
07:11Phone your bookie right now
07:13and get your money on the Labour candidate,
07:15Mrs McCorkadale.
07:17He just stood there, saying,
07:19urgh! Of course, it didn't much matter.
07:21You couldn't hear him more than five feet away.
07:23Well, I...
07:25Bertie's exactly the same.
07:28I say, Aunt Agatha...
07:30I think Bertie's got a very nice speaking voice.
07:32Nice?
07:34Put your knife and fork down straight, Bertie,
07:36if you've finished, and don't slump.
07:38HE CLEARS THROAT
07:40As father of the bride-to-be,
07:42I must say that I look forward to Saturday
07:44as being one of the happiest days of my life.
07:46The happy couple.
07:51The marriage is an honourable estate.
07:55In the 20th century, however,
07:57it has fallen into some disrepute
07:59due to the vexed question of overpopulation.
08:01It is my intention to introduce into the House of Lords a bill
08:03forbidding anyone earning less than 500 pounds a year
08:05to have children.
08:07At 500 a year, he can have one child.
08:09At 1,000 a year, he can have two children.
08:11At 1,500, three, and so forth.
08:14DOOR OPENS
08:22Something up with the bath?
08:24The water appears reluctant to drain, sir.
08:27Got the plug out, have you?
08:30That was amongst the first things I thought of, sir.
08:33I exchanged words with the man Brinkley earlier this afternoon, sir,
08:37at Mr Winship's election rally.
08:39Yes, I noticed.
08:41I must confess I was somewhat perturbed by his manner.
08:43Oh? What did he say?
08:45He advised me to place a wager on Mrs McCorkadale,
08:47but it was not so much what he said
08:49as the easy insolence with which he said it,
08:51as if he knew something that was not common currency
08:53and that he could profit by it.
09:01I'm here to introduce your new candidate.
09:04Ladies and gentlemen, my own elevation to the peerage
09:07debars me from standing for Parliament,
09:09but there are others to carry on my great work.
09:13My design for a giant collapsible chairman breach,
09:17first to tempt the unsuspecting foreign hordes
09:20and then to hurl them into the waves below,
09:22is well under way.
09:28The most slimy creature called Brinkley.
09:31He has this book in his possession,
09:34which he says contains information
09:36about some youthful indiscretions
09:38on behalf of my opponent in this election, Mr Winship,
09:41which, if made public,
09:43would be certain to make the worst impression
09:45on the voters of Totley and the world
09:47and, as he put it, make it a walkover for me.
09:50Ha! He's asked me for money for the book.
09:53Oh, what did you do?
09:55I sent him away with a flea in his ear, of course.
09:58But I thought it only proper to let Mr Winship know.
10:02The moaning minis will try to tell us
10:05that these measures I indicate are too radical, too bold.
10:09But I have to say to them, Rome may have been built in a day,
10:13but it took only a trumpet to bring down the walls of Jericho.
10:18CHEERING
10:26I should now like to present to you
10:29the face of modern conservatism,
10:32my good friend, your candidate, Gerald Parsnip.
10:36APPLAUSE
10:41Harold Winship.
10:43APPLAUSE
10:49Um...
10:51Nothing seems to be happening at all.
10:53What happened?
10:55You're no good at drains, I suppose, Worcester.
10:58Good Lord, no.
11:00Everything's sink in the place, block solid.
11:02This looks like a job for Plumbo Jumbo.
11:04Watto Watto.
11:06Well, this pal of mine, well, chum of a pal of mine,
11:09has this wonderful machine for this sort of thing.
11:11I don't know that we want any machines.
11:13Some of these drains go back 200 years, you know.
11:15No, no, this is just the thing, the gentle giant, they call it.
11:18Who do?
11:20This pal of a chum of mine.
11:22Or the other way round, rather.
11:25I can't possibly come down to Topley.
11:27Spode would tear me limb from limb.
11:29No, he won't. It's your big chance, Appie.
11:31You can come in disguise.
11:33Right.
11:35Pardon me, sir, I have some disquieting news.
11:42Sir Brinkley's got the book and he's trying a spot of blackmail.
11:45Yes, sir. I don't see what harm he can do
11:47if old McCorkadale's turned him down.
11:49What if he should try to sell the contents of the book
11:52to the local newspapers?
11:54And if, in consequence, Mr Winship should lose the election?
11:57I imagine democracy would survive the blow, Jeeves.
11:59The talk in the servants' hall, sir,
12:01is that Lady Florence has informed Mr Winship
12:03that if he does not win the election,
12:05their engagement will be at an end.
12:07Good God!
12:09You mean Florence will once again be roaming the land,
12:11thirsting for confetti and a three-tiered cake?
12:13Indeed, sir.
12:15She may once more turn her attention to faithful old Worcester.
12:17It seems to me most likely under the circumstances, sir.
12:20This is serious, Jeeves.
12:22There's something else for it.
12:24We shall have to steal that book back from Brinkley.
12:31You should have heard them, Madeline.
12:33The applause, the cheers.
12:35If I were contesting this constituency,
12:37comrade so-called McCorkadale wouldn't get one vote.
12:39But you can't, Roderick.
12:41You're in the House of Lords now.
12:43I know, I know. Not one vote!
12:51What in God's name is that?
12:59Are you the gent what's set for plumbo-jumbo?
13:02Don't I know you?
13:04Couldn't rightly say, guv. Well, you shouldn't think so.
13:06Not unless you happen to be in the old plumbing game, like.
13:16Of course! Right, I lied.
13:18As big as me toppy.
13:20I know it's you, you fool.
13:22Let's get out of here, Jeeves. We've got a burglary to commit.
13:33I'm here as a fellow member of the Ganymede Club, Brinkley.
13:37I have reason to believe that you have absconded with the club book,
13:41which, as you well know, is strictly against the rules.
13:44Oh, now, come along, Jeeves.
13:46You had no right to remove that book from the club.
13:49Business is business, Reggie.
13:51I've done some pretty heavy betting on McCorkadale,
13:54and I have to protect my investment.
14:17I'm not obliged to anyone but myself, Reggie.
14:35I've spotted a burglar! He was climbing into the upstairs window, sir.
14:38I'll remove these ladders so he can not make his escape, sir.
14:41What?
14:43I'll kill them, Mr. Bates!
14:46Down to the white place, sir!
14:48Move, Reggie, move!
15:12This way, sir.
15:19Well, I think we can slow down now, Jeeves. There's no-one after us.
15:22I should feel more secure, sir, with the Ganymede book safely locked away.
15:26Well, then, you take it on out to the house and lock the paddy thing away.
15:29I'm going to sit down and catch my breath.
15:31Very good, sir.
15:33Come on.
15:57I'm sorry, Ginger, I didn't...
15:59I suppose this seems a bit odd to you, Bertie.
16:02Magnolia.
16:03No, no, no, Ginger. Put yourself together. You're meant to love Florence.
16:06Oh, Bertie.
16:08The trouble is, you meet this girl with a perfect profile,
16:11curly hair and a willowy figure,
16:13and bingo, you say to yourself, this is the one.
16:15Accept no substitutes.
16:17Little knowing you're linking your lot with a female sergeant major
16:20with unusually strong views on the subject of discipline.
16:22Well, no, Florence is firm, I grant you, resolute.
16:25She's a nerd.
16:26Well, no, she offers advice.
16:28If only I'd looked a little further.
16:30I'd have found the kindest, sweetest, gentlest girl that ever took shorthand.
16:35I allude to Magnolia Glendenon.
16:37She's my secretary.
16:39Yes, well, I'm sorry, Ginger, but there's a snag here.
16:41I expect you've spotted it.
16:42Florence.
16:43Well done.
16:44No, it's all right.
16:45I'm going to get Florence to break our engagement.
16:48No, no, no, no, no, Ginger. Let's not be hasty.
16:50I'm going to lose the election.
16:52But how?
16:53The voters of Totley in the world would elect Bobsey the clothiered bunny rabbit
16:56if he was wearing a blue rosette.
16:57Ah, but you don't know about Brinkley.
16:59Brinkley and the Ganymede Club book?
17:01Oh, you do know?
17:02Mm-hm.
17:03But anyway, that book contains a lot of damaging stuff about me.
17:06If it was revealed, it would hand the election to Mrs. McCorkadale on a plate.
17:09So anyway, I've given Brinkley a hundred quid, and he's getting the book for me.
17:13The first thing I'll do is send it to the Totley Argus Reminder with instructions to publish.
17:18Well, Ginger, I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
17:20Jeeves has the book.
17:21Well, that's good.
17:22He can take it to the Argus Reminder.
17:24I'm sorry, Ginger, but to Jeeves, that book is absolutely sacred.
17:27He'd never let it out of his hands.
17:29You can persuade him, Bertie?
17:31Oh, well, I doubt it, Ginger.
17:33I'll do my best, of course.
17:40How long is this going to take?
17:44Well, there you are, you see.
17:46You can't rightly say, Garth, can you?
17:49I mean, how long's a piece of animal?
17:54Right!
17:56Here we go, ladies and gents.
18:07Is that all?
18:21There you are, you see.
18:25Right.
18:47Bertie, what did Jeeves say about the book?
18:51No go, I'm afraid, Ginger.
18:54Very well.
18:55Very well.
18:56You'll see.
19:12What are you doing in here?
19:14Oh, I wasn't... Oh, it isn't...
19:17Who are you, anyway?
19:19Oh, I was... I was just coming to see you.
19:22What for? What's that book you're carrying?
19:25It's a book. I'm carrying it.
19:28Bring it here.
19:29Oh, it's nothing. I...
19:31Don't palter with me, man! Bring it here!
19:49Did you write this?
19:50What if I did?
19:51Did you or didn't you?
19:52Oh, all right.
19:54It's most interesting.
19:56You can't use real people's names, though.
19:58Oh, no, I know.
20:00Trying to add very similitude, I suppose.
20:03Oh?
20:04Look here. What's your name?
20:06Mr Brinkley.
20:07Look here, Mr Brinkley.
20:12What on earth is that poet?
20:21What do you mean, the book's gone?
20:24Here we are, sir.
20:26You don't understand, Jeeves.
20:27Mr Winship wants it published so that he can lose the election
20:30and not have to marry Lady Florence.
20:32Who could have taken it?
20:33Mr Brinkley, I dare say, sir.
20:35But I don't think we need have any worries on that score, sir.
20:38Lord Sidcup's eloquence on behalf of Mr Winship
20:41is having such a marked effect on the electorate
20:43that I doubt that even revelations by Brinkley or anyone else
20:46could do anything more than make a small dent in his majority.
20:49Really, Jeeves? Are you sure?
20:52Well, that's wonderful.
20:57The way forward for this country,
21:00out of the slough of despondency it's fallen into,
21:03is through public ownership of mines, railways, road transport,
21:08electricity generation and all other essential services.
21:13Don't let my opponent frighten you into thinking otherwise.
21:19APPLAUSE
21:37Well, I've listened to Mrs McCorkadale and...
21:43To be quite honest, I'm convinced.
21:45I think you should all jolly well vote for her.
21:48APPLAUSE
22:00Ginger, you were wonderful!
22:05Ladies and gentlemen...
22:15Silence!
22:19I have an announcement to make.
22:30SOBBING
22:49Oh, Bertie.
22:51How could he, Bertie?
22:53Oh, what, Florence? I didn't see you there.
22:55How could Harold give up the election in that cowardly manner?
22:59Er, well...
23:00What is wrong with men today?
23:02Well...
23:03Perhaps I misjudged you, Bertie.
23:05Perhaps you are no worse than the rest of them.
23:07Oh, I am, much worse.
23:09I'm going to give you one more chance, Bertie.
23:11Well, I don't deserve it.
23:13No, perhaps not. But fate has ordained it.
23:18You may announce our engagement, Bertie.
23:29Bertie!
23:31Come in here, Bertie.
23:37Well, this is good news indeed, Bertie.
23:40Good news?
23:41I have absolutely no intention of marrying Florence Cray.
23:44What are you burbling about, boy?
23:46I was referring to your engagement to little Madeline Bassett.
23:49I'm not engaged to little Madeline Bassett.
23:51Little Madeline Bassett is engaged to Spurge.
23:53That's why we're all assembled here, for the wedding on Saturday.
23:55Do be quiet, Bertie.
23:57Lord Sidcup and Madeline no longer intend to marry.
24:00He feels that because of popular demand,
24:04he must renounce his title in order to enter politics again.
24:07Renounce his title? I don't see what that's got to do with it.
24:10It would appear that Sidcup's only attraction for Madeline
24:13was in the prospect of becoming the Countess of Sidcup.
24:16That gone, she would prefer to cast her lot in with you.
24:19What? But she can't.
24:21She's not one of the gals that I had marked down for you, of course,
24:25but she does show remarkable determination for one so soppy.
24:30Perhaps there's more to her than meets the eye.
24:44The dinner gong has sounded, sir.
24:47Don't even mention food, Jeeves.
24:49Who was that fellow with the circles, Jeeves?
24:52You are perhaps thinking of the Florentine poet Dante Alighieri, sir,
24:57who in the first part of his Divino Commedia
25:00is conducted by Virgil through the nine circles of hell.
25:04There's the chap.
25:06Well, those fellows he bumped up and down,
25:10There's the chap.
25:12Well, those fellows he bumped into had it easy.
25:14One could beg to take issue with you there, sir.
25:17Were any of them engaged to marry Florence Cray?
25:20The poet makes no mention of it, sir.
25:22Or condemned to stand, way-faced and trembling at the altar steps
25:25while Madeline Bassett advanced on them up the aisle on the arm of her father?
25:29Indeed not, sir.
25:31Well, it had to happen to somebody one day, I suppose.
25:34And it happened to me today.
25:36Fate has dealt me the royal flush, Jeeves.
25:39I'm engaged to Madeline Bassett and Lady Florence at the same time.
25:46Oh. Oh, dear, sir.
25:55I'm sorry, Roderick, but there's nothing I can do about it.
25:58You brought it on yourself. I know, I know.
26:00It's no joke for a sensitive girl who thinks she's a bit of the Countess of Sidcup
26:03to have the fellow say, April fool, all you're going to be is Mrs Spode.
26:07But she won't. She'll still be Lady Spode.
26:09But only a baronet's wife.
26:11Hardly the same thing.
26:13Added to it, you've landed me with that dangerous lunatic Worcester as a son-in-law.
26:17I know.
26:19But you've seen these people, Watkin.
26:21When I speak, a hush pause.
26:24Then a little murmur of interest.
26:27Then a mighty roar of approbation.
26:30They need me, Watkin.
26:32The people need me.
26:35Oh, it's you.
26:37Hello, Spode. Good Lord, well, well.
26:39There you are, Rod. Hello, sir Watkin.
26:41Splendid.
26:43You know, Watkin, I simply cannot make it out.
26:46As far as I can see, he's without any attraction at all.
26:49Intelligence? No.
26:51Looks? No.
26:53Efficiency? No.
26:55When one considers all his defects,
26:57one can only suppose that Madeline is marrying him in the hope of reforming him.
27:01No, no. You see...
27:03Be quiet, Worcester.
27:05Let me tell you something, Worcester.
27:08If you disappoint little Madeline's hopes,
27:12I shall be waiting for you.
27:15Right.
27:17Well, toodle-pip.
27:22Oh!
27:24Why, Bertie, are you saying good morning to the flowers?
27:27Ah, yes, that's right.
27:29Oh, Bertie, we were always soul mates.
27:31Really?
27:35No, no, Bertie, don't kneel to me.
27:38You've waited so long and so patiently,
27:41and at last tomorrow you are to get your reward.
27:44Tomorrow?
27:46Oh, the ceremony was all arranged anyway,
27:48and Daddy says we can't afford to cancel it and do it all over again.
27:56Ah, Brinkley.
27:58Ah, Reggie, this is a bit of an how-do-you-do, if you like.
28:01I was on my way to see you, Mr Brinkley,
28:03to demand the return of the Ganymede Club book.
28:05I haven't got it. I wish I did have.
28:07I'm trying to get it back off that Florence.
28:09Lady Florence has the book?
28:11She thinks I wrote it.
28:13She thinks it's a novel.
28:15But why are you so anxious to retrieve it?
28:17Well, now Spode's standing, I need to discover him.
28:20My bet's on McCorkadale winning, no matter who's standing against her.
28:23There's nothing in the book to harm Sir Roderick.
28:26The Eulalie business is long out of date since he sold the lingerie shop.
28:29Eulalie nothing.
28:31Don't you know about, er...
28:34Well, I'm not about to tell you, am I?
28:37Something's only gone in recent, though it happened years ago.
28:40Didn't know it was in the book myself
28:42till I just happened to be glancing through it the other day.
28:49And then she calmly informs me that the execution day is tomorrow.
28:52Tomorrow, James.
28:54What do I get to do? I can't step out of this room without one of those nasty women collaring me.
28:58Fortunately, neither of them has yet got wind of my engagement to the other,
29:01but that can't last.
29:03Oh, no, it's a nightmage, I tell you.
29:07Jeeves?
29:08Sir?
29:10Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
29:12I was cudgelling my brains as to how I might retrieve
29:15the Ganymede Club book from Lady Florence.
29:17The Ganymede Club book? Jeeves, I'm afraid
29:20that compared with my imminent marriage to Madeline Bassett
29:23and subsequent imprisonment on charges of attempted bigamy,
29:26together with the probability of the brute Spoe doing unspeakable things to my remains,
29:30the whereabouts of the Ganymede Club book is but a pimple on the face of the moon.
29:34Very good, sir.
29:36But I've only just heard that the book may contain sensitive information
29:39concerning Lord Sidcup,
29:41which might be used to persuade him to resume his title
29:44and so pave the way for a reunion with Miss Bassett.
29:47Oh, now, now, don't toy with me, Jeeves.
29:50Don't give a condemned man false hope.
29:53Oh, wait a minute. It's not that old eulaly business again, is it?
29:56No, sir. Something only recently inserted.
29:58Really? Oh, Jeeves.
30:00Jeeves, I'm sorry. I should have had faith.
30:02No, I'm not myself. Madeline Bassett's been preying on my mind.
30:05The prospect of being linked for life to a girl who would come down to breakfast,
30:09put her hands over my eyes and say,
30:11guess who has given my morale a wallop.
30:13I can understand, sir. Very unpleasant.
30:15And what Lady Florence might do at breakfast is beyond imagining.
30:18Let's get that book.
30:21DOOR SLAMS
30:44Marty!
30:46What? Ahem. No, Madeline.
30:49What are you doing in here?
30:51Well, just looking for my socks.
30:53Socks? Why would you look for your socks in Florence's room?
30:57Florence's room?
30:59Oh, where am I? I feel faint.
31:04I must say, Florence, this engagement of Bertie's makes me very happy.
31:09Well, I'm glad that you're pleased.
31:12Are you all right, Bertie?
31:15Where am I?
31:17I just told you, you're in Florence's room.
31:19What I want to know, Bertie, is...
31:21Who are you?
31:22Bertie!
31:23What on earth are you doing in my room?
31:26Who? Why is he lying on the floor?
31:28I think he's having a brainstorm.
31:30What with?
31:31Why should he come into my room to have a brainstorm?
31:34The poor darling doesn't know where he is.
31:36But you do, presumably.
31:37And what are you doing in here?
31:39Well, I saw him come in, and naturally, since we're...
31:41Oh! Oh! Oh!
31:42Bertie!
31:43He's making a lot of noise. My late husband never made a noise.
31:46What he needs is peace and quiet.
31:48If I could ask you to leave him with me.
31:50No, he must come with me. After all, he is my...
31:52Ah! Ah! Ah!
31:53Can't you remember that Bertie and I are about to be...
31:56Ah! Ah! Ah!
31:57Where does it hurt, Bertie darling?
31:59Please do not address Bertie in that over-familiar tone, Madeleine.
32:02I don't see why she shouldn't. She is, after all...
32:05Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! The agony! The agony!
32:08He's getting worse!
32:09Perhaps I can be of assistance, ladies?
32:11Oh, Jeeves! Haven't we ever seen him like this before?
32:14With increasing frequency, I regret to say, Lady Florence.
32:17We should loosen his collar.
32:19I hardly think such drastic measures are called for, Miss Bassett,
32:22if you'll allow me.
32:25Can you walk, sir, if I assist you?
32:30Ah! Ah! Ah! Jeeves!
32:32He recognises you anyway, Jeeves.
32:34He didn't know who I was, and I'm his...
32:36Ah! Ah!
32:37I do apologise, sir. You trod on my toe.
32:40Sorry, Jeeves.
32:41Just hold on, sir, and we'll get you your tablets.
32:55Oh, my! Josh, Jeeves, that was a close call.
32:57Did you find the book, sir?
32:59No. Madeleine came along before I had a chance to look properly.
33:01I can't risk it again. You'll have to do it.
33:03I'm sorry, sir. I could not possibly engage in anomalous activities
33:06in any house in which we are guests.
33:08Oh, come, Jeeves!
33:09Oh, my, oh, my!
33:15I thought I should have died,
33:17not to be locked in rows ever more.
33:19Tuppy!
33:21Oh, sorry, James, sir.
33:22I was just looking at your bike.
33:24Tuppy, it's me, Bertie.
33:27Bertie!
33:28Sorry.
33:29I really do get rather carried away, you know.
33:31Look, I wondered if I ought to go on stage.
33:33You'll pardon me for interrupting, sir, but a notion has just come to me.
33:36Well, that's the best news I've...
33:40Yes, Jeeves. Yes.
33:42Tuppy, come in here a minute, will you?
33:44Have a seat, Tuppy, old man. Drink.
33:46Jeeves, a brandy for Mr Glossop, will you?
33:48What's going on?
33:50Now, Tuppy, we have a little job that we'd like you to do.
33:53Job?
33:55What job?
33:57What are you doing up here, Constable?
33:59Sir Watkin ordered me to patrol the house, Mr Burfield,
34:02for to guard the wedding presents.
34:04No, no, no!
34:07What was that, Mr Burfield?
34:08Oh, that'll be Mr Worcester's room.
34:11Look, Tuppy, in your role as Mr Plumbo-Jumbo,
34:13you have access to any room you like.
34:15We'll make it easy for you.
34:16You can steal the book while everyone's down at dinner.
34:18I'm not stealing the book at all.
34:20As an added insurance, sir, I could send Lady Florence a telegram
34:23demanding her attendance in London.
34:25Well, there you are, you see, Tuppy. Can't say fairer than that.
34:28Get that sent off now, will you, Jeeves?
34:30Don't bother, Jeeves. I'm not going to do it.
34:32Very well.
34:33Jeeves, just pop down and ask Sir Roderick to come and see us, will you?
34:36No!
34:37That isn't cricket, Bertie!
34:39I'm sorry, Tuppy. The desperate times call for desperate measures.
34:43Pour Mr Glossop another desperate measure, will you, Jeeves?
34:50Pardon me, Lady Florence.
34:52Mr Brinkley, good afternoon.
34:54It's on my book, Lady Florence.
34:56I've been reading it with immense interest.
34:59You have a most forthright and muscular style.
35:02I just wondered if I could have it back.
35:05And the brilliant use of different handwriting for each chapter
35:09to reinforce the concept of the multiple narrator, I presume.
35:12The multiple thing. Yes.
35:15Pardon me, Lady Florence. A telegram for you.
35:18Oh, thank you, Jeeves.
35:24What a nuisance. I have to go to London to see my publisher this evening.
35:28What I'd like to do is...
35:29Goodbye, Mr Brinkley.
35:36SLURPS
35:39SLURPS
35:58SLURPS
36:00SLURPS
36:03SLURPS
36:13Oh! Oh!
36:15Oh, you!
36:20My friends...
36:23The tottery in the world by election, for which I am standing,
36:27is merely a beginning.
36:30Sir Watkins, sir, I have apprehended two intruders, sir.
36:33No, no, that's a jimbo jambo, man.
36:35Yeah, a plumbo jambo, sir.
36:37Then what were they doing in Miss Florence's bedroom, Sir Watkins, sir?
36:47You! You're the man who ruined my Earl's Court rally,
36:50throwing sweets!
36:52Turn it! No! No!
36:54Do you know what I'm going to do?
36:57Do you know what I'm going to do to you?
37:00No, Rorick, leave him alone.
37:02He's our only chance of getting the plumbing fixed.
37:04Mind you, he's only made it worse so far with that dumbo crambo.
37:07Dumbo jambo!
37:09I'm going to butter you all over the wall.
37:13And then I'm going to dance on the fragments in Hopley Oaks.
37:22That's a bit like his window, Spode.
37:24Ha!
37:26I'll get him, Sir Watkins, sir.
37:43Any luck, Jeeves?
37:45Oh, indeed, sir.
37:47I think if you were to say the word Celia to Sir Roderick,
37:50it would have the desired effect.
37:52Celia. Yes, you couldn't tell me a bit more, I suppose.
37:55Rules of the Ganymede and all that. Just so, sir.
37:58Right, so I just say the word Celia,
38:00Spode becomes as putty in my hands,
38:02reclaims his title and marries Madeleine.
38:04I think it extremely likely, sir. Right.
38:17You? Yes, me, Spode.
38:19Now, I want you to give up this extremely stupid idea
38:22of standing for Parliament.
38:24Oh!
38:25You want me to give up this extremely stupid idea
38:28of standing for Parliament, do you?
38:30Yes, I do.
38:31Well, you should have said so before, Worcester.
38:34You snivelling little wit!
38:36Do you know what I'm going to do to you?
38:39Yes, yes, yes, Spode.
38:40I'm accustomed to your threats of mindless violence.
38:43The first thing you will be aware of is the sound of your teeth
38:46as they rattle down your throat, Worcester.
38:48I have just one thing to say to you, Spode.
38:50Celia.
38:51Celia?
38:54Yes, Celia.
38:58What was it, Delia? No, Celia.
39:03Oh.
39:05Ah, yeah.
39:06Oh, Celia!
39:08HE LAUGHS
39:12So, let's hear no more of it, Spode.
39:14I'm sorry, Worcester.
39:15Apologies are just not good enough, Spode.
39:17No, I know. I'm sorry.
39:19Oops, there I go again.
39:21I'll just look to your behaviour in future.
39:24Wait a minute.
39:27Wait a minute.
39:32Now, look here, Spode.
39:35What about Celia?
39:37Er, well...
39:38You don't know anything about Celia, do you?
39:41Well, er, it's a girl.
39:43Ha! You don't know anything about Celia.
39:47And even if you did, you wouldn't be able to prove anything.
39:50Now, now, look here, Spode.
39:56Get off!
40:02Oh.
40:03Mrs Gregson.
40:06Oh, dear.
40:16Now, you're sure you can get proof in London?
40:18I believe so, sir.
40:19You'll be back by morning?
40:20I will do my very best, sir.
40:21Go then, Jeeves. On wings and watsit.
40:23Very good, sir.
40:24Otherwise, tomorrow I'm the cheap mourner of my own wedding.
40:36Where are you, Jeeves?
40:49Take it like a man, Worcester.
40:53Jeeves! Ha!
41:08Blasey, I really am most annoyed.
41:10That telegram purporting to come from my publisher was a hoax.
41:14Good Lord.
41:15The time was not altogether wasted, however.
41:17I was able to give a lot of thought to our forthcoming wedding, as I dreamt.
41:21Oh, good.
41:22St Margaret's, Westminster, I think, don't you?
41:24Yes.
41:25Oh, well, er...
41:28Of course, Daddy will expect the reception to be at the Park Street pubs.
41:32Ha! Ha! Now, do you...
41:34Just go and get my powder.
41:35Bertie! You mustn't see me!
41:41Why did you say that you mustn't see her?
41:45Did she say that?
41:46I thought she said the dress looked... see-me.
41:50See-me?
41:51Yes, that's why she's rushed back into her room, I expect.
41:54Take a few seams out.
41:57Bertie, can you just stop driveling for one moment
42:00and tell me just exactly what is going...
42:02Oh, all right, dash it.
42:04Very well.
42:05Madeleine and I are going to get married.
42:10No.
42:11Madeleine is going to marry the Earl of Sick Hut.
42:14No, she isn't.
42:15She's given him the bum's brush and I'm...
42:17She's marrying you?
42:19Yes.
42:20In about half an hour.
42:22What?!
42:26Wooster!
42:29Where's that bloody couple in front of a friend of yours?
42:33Well, how shall I know?
42:34Slow and chaste.
42:35More.
42:36More pain.
42:37You're running!
42:39You're soaking up that body.
42:41I...
42:45Made it worse, you blithering idiot!
42:47You'd better get off to the chapel, Wooster.
42:49Sir Roderick's waiting for you.
42:50He's going to be your best man.
42:52What?!
43:00So you are not the groom after all, my lord?
43:02No.
43:03He is.
43:04I am.
43:05Perhaps not, sir.
43:08Jeeves, did you...
43:11Perhaps Sir Roderick would be kind enough
43:13to come into the vestry for a moment.
43:15What for?
43:26Celia!
43:35Sir Roderick in his youth was in the antipodes
43:37and in straitened circumstances.
43:39Those circumstances improved dramatically overnight
43:42and Sir Roderick was strongly suspected
43:44of nobbling Celia in a kangaroo race,
43:47a sport to which our Australian cousins are inordinately attached.
43:50And that was the actual Celia?
43:52No, sir.
43:53But I felt that the likeness was sufficient to deceive Sir Roderick.
43:57It is gratifying, is it not, sir,
43:59that Miss Bassett bore the end of her engagement
44:01to you so bravely?
44:03Bravely wasn't the word for it, Jeeves.
44:05As soon as she heard that Spoke was going to be an earl again,
44:07that there was a sharpest chance that she could still make counter,
44:09she dropped me in like a hot pimento.
44:11Although, you know, I must say I can't help feeling badly
44:13for Lady Florence, Jeeves,
44:15in spite of her brutal assault on my copper.
44:17That is hard to fathom, Jeeves.
44:19It is hard to fathom.
44:21It is hard to fathom.
44:23It is hard to fathom.
44:25That is hard to forgive, sir.
44:27But a lady will express heartbreak in many different ways.
44:39What on earth is she doing with Brinkley?
44:41I persuaded Sir Watkin that Brinkley was just the type of person
44:44who needs to restore the faith of the local electors
44:46in the Conservative Party.
44:48He will be adopted as candidate.
44:50It seems that the mixture of prominent novelist
44:52and rising parliamentarian
44:54was too heady for Lady Florence to resist.
44:57They are all the callous, heartless, unfeeling women, Jeeves.
45:02Precisely, sir.
45:06Thank you, Jeeves.
45:08I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir.
45:10Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here
45:13in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation...
45:17..to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony...
45:28..which is an honourable estate
45:30instituted of God in the time of man's innocency...
45:36..signifying unto us a mystical union...
45:47..a union...
45:57Mosta!
46:07I love you so much, Mosta!
46:13Make me!
46:14Zavoska!
46:18Zavoska!
46:26Zavoska!
46:44Zavoska!
46:46Zavoska!
46:50Zavoska!