Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Now get along with you. Get along with you.
00:12Quix.
00:13A spell in the new world will do you a power of good.
00:15You'll be far from the distractions and temptations of London's theatrical life.
00:20Your mother is very disappointed in you Cyril.
00:23This last episode in joining a company of acrobats was really the last straw.
00:29Now Cyril, take this letter to my nephew in New York.
00:33He will look out for your interests.
00:36Bertie will help you to find a good steady job.
00:39Dear Bertie, this is to introduce Cyril Basington-Basington.
01:00At all costs ensure that he does not come into contact with theatrical circles.
01:22Sorry.
01:29Sorry.
01:32Sorry.
01:34Well, you're allowed to blink, you know.
01:36Really?
01:39Oh, I wish you'd relax Bertie.
01:42What do you mean relax?
01:43Well, move your lips when you speak, that sort of thing.
01:46Don't you come out blurred.
01:50Well, that's enough for today anyway.
01:54I say, it's exhausting this, you know.
01:57Oh, that'll be Muriel.
02:00You know, I think I might give this to my Aunt Agatha.
02:02She thinks I do absolutely nothing in New York.
02:04Are you ready to come to rehearsal yet?
02:06Bertie, this is Miss Singer.
02:09It would be wonderful if you could help us, Mr. Worcester.
02:12Oh, how do you do?
02:14This is George Cavan, George writes plays and all that sort of thing.
02:17Hello.
02:18George and I are engaged.
02:20Engaged?
02:21What about your uncle?
02:22My uncle will just have to lump it.
02:24Oh, Corky's just being brave, Mr. Worcester.
02:27I'm sure he'll see straight away that you're the perfect wife for Corky.
02:30No, he won't.
02:31All he'll consider is that I've gone and taken an important step without his advice.
02:35He'll cut my allowance and try to force me to go into the jute business again.
02:39Jute, eh?
02:41Oh, yes, I see, I see.
02:43Bertie, are we going to rehearsal?
02:44Yes, yes, right.
02:45Tell you what, I promise you I'll give this matter my best attention.
02:49It would be wonderful if you could think of something, Mr. Worcester.
02:54Right.
03:01What wonderful smile do you hear the bells ring, dear?
03:06It's the promise this spring, dear, you're just in love.
03:11What wonderful name to combine with my name.
03:16Can't you see it with my way?
03:18You're just in, you're just, you're just in love.
03:26You're just in love.
03:30Good!
03:31Well, we need to pick it up on the bridge a little, but it's coming along fine.
03:34Right, now, this is the part where the butler comes in and tells you the house is on fire.
03:38So, blah, blah, blah, panic, panic, panic, off you all go.
03:41You want to take over, Herman? Thank you.
03:43Well, what do you think?
03:44Terrific, I love the song.
03:46Look, Bertie, we haven't cast our part of the butler yet, hmm?
03:49You wouldn't want to play it, would you?
03:50No, no, no, no, no, I'm a complete fool of that sort of thing.
03:52Oh, look, I know it's only a small part, but we're really looking for an Englishman to play it.
03:56No, I, um, I played Brutus at school once, and I was the one everybody stabbed.
04:05Ah, thank you, Jeeves.
04:07And now, Jeeves, I'm going to see Corky's uncle, who's in the jute business.
04:10To tell you the truth, I'm a bit foggy on what jute is.
04:13Apparently, it's something that the populace at large is pretty keen on,
04:16because Corky's uncle has made a hefty stack out of it.
04:18Have you come across it at all?
04:19Jute is a fibre from the bark of the plant Corchorus capsularis, sir.
04:23It is imported chiefly from Bengal and used in the making of canvas or gunny.
04:28Canvas or gunny, right.
04:30Yes, well, that's made things pretty clear, Jeeves, thank you.
04:32Will that be all, sir?
04:33Yes, that'll be all, thank you, Jeeves.
04:36Oh, Jeeves.
04:37Yes, sir?
04:38Ah, this gunny stuff.
04:40I mean, I know about canvas, but gunny seems to have just slipped my mind.
04:44Gunny is a coarse material chiefly used for sacking, sir.
04:48Ah, right, of course, sacking, gunny, gunny, sacking, yes.
04:51Thank you, Jeeves.
04:58Mr. Worcester, sir.
05:02Ah, Mr. Worcester, welcome to our country.
05:06Ah, right, well, thanks awfully.
05:09Please, sit down, Mr. Worcester.
05:14It's always a pleasure to meet another jute man.
05:18I love jute.
05:21You see this model of a yellow-bellied sapsucker?
05:23Made entirely from jute.
05:26Good Lord.
05:27This entire edifice you see around you, built on jute.
05:33Really?
05:35Pretty useful stuff, then.
05:36Frankly, Mr. Worcester, I'm surprised to see you here.
05:40Oh? Well, yes, the thing is...
05:42You British usually import directly from India, don't you?
05:45Ah, yes, yes, generally speaking, we do, we import.
05:47Ah, don't get me wrong.
05:49I can supply you with a thousand bales a week, a 360 a bale, F.O.B.
05:54F.O.B.?
05:55No, I don't think we want any of that, no.
05:58You're in the manufacturing line, aren't you?
06:00Animal feed backing?
06:02Yes, yes, that's right, yes.
06:04Dog biscuits, cats, things.
06:08Sacking, sacking, yes.
06:11All sorts of sacking.
06:13And sack races, of course.
06:15Sack races?
06:16Yes, that's our main line.
06:19And of course we're right at the start of the sack race season now,
06:22so obviously we're snowed under with orders at the moment.
06:24Mr. Worcester.
06:26Mr. Warble, do you ever think about love?
06:29Do I?
06:31You know, raising a family.
06:33Are we talking about jute or...?
06:35The patter of tiny feet, the...
06:40Right, well, thank you, we'll be letting you know.
06:53Ah, yes, well, of course, he's not the easiest of chaps to get along with, I imagine,
06:57but I'd go so far as to say he was impressive.
06:59He was getting engaged, Mr. Worcester.
07:01Yes, well, I didn't actually sort of mention that.
07:02What?
07:03But for a very good reason.
07:04Because the whole thing suddenly became clear to me.
07:06All you have to do is to work it so that your uncle makes Miss Singer's acquaintance
07:10without his knowing that you know her.
07:12And all you do is come along and...
07:13But how can we make it work that way?
07:15Ah, yes, well, that's the catch.
07:17Well, there's only one thing to do.
07:19What?
07:20Leave it to Jeans.
07:21Now let's get a cab, shall we? Taxi in!
07:26Ah, now, Jeans, we want your advice.
07:28Very good, sir.
07:29Good morning, Miss.
07:30Good morning, Mr. Corcoran.
07:31This is Miss Singer, Jeans.
07:32She is Mr. Corcoran's fiancée.
07:33I hope you will be very happy, Miss Singer.
07:35Congratulations, Mr. Corcoran.
07:36Yes, yes, yes, Jeans.
07:37Now, the difficulty is that Mr. Corcoran's uncle,
07:40being accustomed to working with canvas or gunny,
07:42which doesn't answer back very much,
07:44doesn't like Mr. Corcoran doing anything without asking his permission first.
07:47He particularly won't like Corky getting engaged, which he has to Miss Singer.
07:50Quite so.
07:51Right, so my thought was that if Mr. Walpole made Miss Singer's acquaintance first,
07:56or what he thinks is first,
07:57and then along comes old Corky, apparently a newcomer...
08:00I understand, sir.
08:01I do have an idea which I believe fits the bill.
08:05Good Lord, Jeans.
08:06The scheme I have, sir, which while certain of success,
08:09does require a certain financial outlay.
08:15Oh, now, look here, Miss Singer, don't start crying, don't you think?
08:19Look, Corky, you can count on me for all that sort of thing.
08:21Only too glad. Carry on, Jeans.
08:23Thank you, sir.
08:24What I would suggest is that Mr. Corcoran
08:26take advantage of Mr. Walpole's attachment to ornithology.
08:29How did you know my uncle was interested in birds?
08:32Oh, I've read with great pleasure Mr. Walpole's two books,
08:35American Birds and More American Birds.
08:37What I was going to suggest is that Miss Singer write a small volume
08:41entitled, let us say, The Children's Book of American Birds,
08:45and that she dedicate it to Mr. Walpole.
08:47It would be a limited edition at your expense, sir.
08:50Well, let's see how that's going to help, Jeans.
08:52A great deal of the book would be given over to eulogistic remarks
08:55concerning Mr. Walpole's own treatise, sir.
08:58And I would further recommend the dispatching of a presentation copy
09:01to Mr. Walpole immediately on publication.
09:03But I can't write a book.
09:05Oh, yes, you can.
09:06I don't even write interesting letters.
09:08I fancy it would be fairly simple to find some impecunious young writer, Miss,
09:12who would be only too glad to do the actual composing of the volume
09:15for a small fee.
09:16It is only necessary that the young lady's name appear on the title page, sir.
09:21Couldn't you do it, Mr. Jeeves?
09:23I'm sure you could.
09:25You seem to know so much, and you talk so nicely.
09:29I hardly think...
09:30Well, now you see you could, you know, Jeeves.
09:33Sir?
09:51What's the matter? Don't believe in stoplights?
09:53Aye, they look here.
09:56Very good, Sam.
09:58I'll do that, Sam.
10:01I shall inform Mr. Worcester, sir.
10:03Goodbye.
10:04Farewell, Jeeves.
10:06That was a Mr. Cyril Bassington Bassington, sir.
10:09Never heard of him. What did he want?
10:11He was telephoning from a police station, sir.
10:14He was requesting for you to go round and bail him out.
10:18Well, all the dashed nerve.
10:19Fellas phone you up out of the blue...
10:21Well, never mind.
10:22Look, you leave all this to Jeeves and me, all right?
10:25Jeeves will get writing, and I'll...
10:27Well, I'll do everything else.
10:29Wonderful.
10:34Yes, nice girl, that.
10:36Corky's found himself, what?
10:37Very charming, sir.
10:39Now, Jeeves, this fellow who phoned up from Chukie, what was his name?
10:42Mr. Bassington Bassington, sir.
10:44Yes, you've heard of him, Jeeves?
10:45I am familiar with the name Bassington Bassington, sir.
10:48There are the Shropshire Bassington Bassingtons,
10:50the Hampshire Bassington Bassingtons,
10:51and, of course, the Kent Bassington Bassingtons.
10:53Ah, so the world's pretty well stocked up on Bassington Bassingtons, then?
10:57Tolerably so, sir.
10:58No chance of a sudden shortage, I mean, huh?
11:00Presumably not, sir.
11:01Apparently, he is a protégé of Mrs. Gregson's, sir.
11:04What? Aunt Agatha?
11:18How long has he been in New York, Jeeves, did he say?
11:20He arrived this morning, sir.
11:21Oh, my Lord, what is Aunt Agatha going to say?
11:25Ah, what ho, Cyril? I got your message.
11:28You Bertie Worcester?
11:29Absolutely.
11:30Mrs. Gregson said you'd look after me in New York.
11:32Oh, did she?
11:33Ah, this is my man, Jeeves.
11:35What ho, Jeeves?
11:36Rotten country.
11:37Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Don't you know?
11:39Why didn't the police in New York dress properly?
11:41Why didn't they wear helmets like they do in London?
11:43You know, like postmen. It makes it dash confusing.
11:45I was just rambling along looking at things
11:47when this fellow who looked like a postman prodded me in the ribs with a stick
11:49and started burbling something about jaywalking.
11:51I mean, I don't see why a fellow should come 3,000 miles to be prodded and burbled at.
11:55So what did you do?
11:56Well, I prodded him back.
11:57Then he biffed me in the eye and lugged me off this beastly place.
12:00Still, that's all sorted out now.
12:02You know, what I'd really like to do while I'm here, Bertie,
12:04is see lots and lots of shows.
12:06Ah, keen on the theatre, are you?
12:08Oh, I'll say.
12:09I tell you what, why don't I drop you off at a pal of mine's rehearsals?
12:11You won't mind.
12:12I'd really like that.
12:15You're just in love
12:19What a wonderful moon, good night with money
12:24Bet you'll say it with honey when
12:26You're just in, you're just, you're just in love
12:34You're just in love
12:43Should any of you children be lucky enough to visit California,
12:46you may catch a glimpse of the acrobatic little Mexican chickadee.
12:50You will learn much more about this little rascal when you are grown up
12:53and read Mr. Alexander Warple's wonderful book, American Birds.
13:01Ask Dad, ask Dad, that's all they ever say
13:05Ask Dad, ask Dad, they take your breath away
13:10Never seems to flutter them, he pops the perfect back-up
13:15Doesn't seem to worry them, their daddies do a crack-up
13:21Ah, jeez, this is the title song from Georgie's new show.
13:23You know, Freddie Flowerdew's got a star in it.
13:25No, sir, that intelligence had passed me by.
13:28Well, it is. It's his first American musical.
13:30Anyway, this is the opening number.
13:32Apparently, he's got all these daughters, you see.
13:34Well, in the show, that is.
13:36I understand, sir.
13:37Right, well, the trouble is, the song is written for Freddie Flowerdew and a chorus of girls.
13:41It's all marked here, you see.
13:43Here it says, uh, two big Fs. That's for Freddie Flowerdew.
13:46Uh, I'm not quite sure what the little Fs are for.
13:49Possibly they are meant to indicate fortissimo, sir.
13:52Possibly, Jeeves, possibly.
13:54Well, anyway, to do the thing justice,
13:56I think I've got to find a way to approximate the sound of a chorus,
13:58so if you wouldn't mind joining in on all the bits that are not marked with a big FF.
14:02I'll do those bits and then we can do the chorus together.
14:04Aye, ye see, sir, I shan't be required to sing falsetto, shall I, sir?
14:08Falsetto, Jeeves?
14:09If I am to sound like a chorus of young ladies.
14:12Well, I don't know. I might just do the trick at that.
14:14Well, let's try it. Uh, we'll do the first verse again.
14:16Very good, sir.
14:20Ask Dad, ask Dad
14:23That's all they ever say
14:25Ask Dad, ask Dad
14:28They take your breath away
14:30Never seems to flutter them
14:32Oh, pops the coffee back up
14:35Doesn't seem to worry them
14:37That Daddy's due a crack up
14:40Well, I don't think so, Jeeves, do you?
14:42It does put a considerable strain on the laryngeal region.
14:45Excuse me, ladies. The house is on fire.
14:47What?
14:48It's all right. It's my line from the show.
14:50Show?
14:51Your friend George gave me a part in his musical.
14:53Oh, so that's terrific.
14:55Isn't it just? We carry on rehearsing for a couple of weeks
14:58and then we go on the road for a bit until we find a Broadway theatre that will take us.
15:02Well, you certainly seem to have landed on your feet.
15:04Well, it's only a small part, but it's pivotal.
15:06Of course, what I really want to do is films.
15:09Everybody says I've got the profile for it.
15:12One wonderful new proof I've become me
15:17They just say I'm in
15:19You're just in, you're just, you're just in love
15:26Excuse me, ladies. The house is on fire.
15:32I wonder if that line's quite right, George.
15:34I mean, wouldn't he say something more like
15:37If you pardon me mentioning it, ladies, the house is on fire.
15:43Oh, that's fine, Cyril, yes, if you'd be more comfortable with it.
15:51As Mr Alexander Warhol says in his famous book, More American Birds,
15:55if you see a sandaling spinning round in the water like a top, it's a fallow rope.
16:00You see, children, fallow ropes do look very like sandalings, of course,
16:04but they're famous for spinning round and round in the water.
16:07This is a picture of the northern fallow rope.
16:10Isn't he a handsome little fellow?
16:14I say, it's rather grand, isn't it?
16:16What do you think of that, Chiefs?
16:18Very handsome volumes, sir.
16:19The old masterpiece.
16:20Better still, we send a copy off to our Uncle Alexander,
16:23and Muriel's had a reply already.
16:25Read them the letter, Muriel.
16:27Dear Miss Singer, thank you for your charming letter
16:30and what a good and useful book, A Children's Book of American Birds, is.
16:34Of course, I should be delighted to meet you at any time.
16:38I would tentatively suggest the 25th.
16:40Yours sincerely, Alexander Warhol.
16:44How about that?
16:45Well, it's like a Charlie, Chiefs.
16:47Extremely gratifying, Sam.
16:57Here we are at the Warhol Towers, ma'am.
17:27Oh, Chiefs, Georgie Caffin has asked me to tag along with the tour of Ask Dad
17:49as a sort of unbiased observer,
17:51so that I might charge off with them to see a bit of this great country of theirs.
17:54That would seem an excellent idea, sir.
17:56I'll also be able to keep an eye on young Batsington Batsington.
17:58I'm sure Mrs Gregson will be most grateful, sir.
18:01Yes.
18:02Probably show it in the usual manner,
18:04viz a kick in the teeth for Bertram.
18:05Still, there you are, Chiefs.
18:06Just thought I'd mention it.
18:07The train leaves from Grand Central tomorrow morning.
18:09Very good, sir.
18:11Good night, sir.
18:12Good night, Chiefs.
18:26Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire.
18:40Well, we're off on our travels, Chiefs.
18:47Blasted tricky business, what they call hunting in these parts.
18:50They do it without horses.
18:52Managed to wing a forest ranger the other day, however.
18:54The shows are sell-out everywhere.
18:56My lock cabin marked with an X.
18:58Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire.
19:09Westward ever westward, Chiefs.
19:11We're all having a whale of a time, especially so old Batsington Batsington.
19:14My sleeping car marked with an X.
19:30Show doing famously, Chiefs.
19:32I must say the horses out here are rather excitable.
19:34The local lads are pretty excitable, too.
19:36I've had to buy a few new clothes, I'm afraid, but I'm sure you'll approve.
19:40My trunk house marked with an X.
19:53Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire.
19:59This card shows a picture of the Rockies, Chiefs.
20:01They're mountains, as you can see.
20:03And dash rocky they are, too.
20:05My rock marked with an X.
20:09This is the life, Chiefs.
20:11A lot of fish in sight, and boots slowly filling with ice water.
20:14I did catch a couple of Trunks the other day.
20:16One of them looked exactly like Oofy Prosser.
20:18I don't suppose the Oofy is hail from Montana, do you?
20:21My teepee marked with an X.
20:25I've now seen Ask Dan six billion and blasted two times, Chiefs.
20:29Or is it six billion and blasted three?
20:31No, blasted sign of a blasted Broadway theatre.
20:34My seat in the blasted orchestra stalls marked with a blasted X.
20:40If you'll pardon me mentioning it, ladies, the house is on fire.
20:45P.S. I really think I might leave the show and totter home soon.
20:48Ask Dan.
20:56Well, how have things been in the big city, Mr. Coney Bare?
20:59Oh, we managed to get along pretty good.
21:05You ain't by any chance been out west, have you, Mr. Worcester?
21:07Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I have.
21:09Yes, where men are men, you know.
21:11You have a hotel.
21:13You shooting the Indians?
21:14No, no.
21:16Ah, Chiefs, what ho?
21:19Good afternoon, sir.
21:21You know, it really is extraordinary, Chiefs.
21:24Almost like coming home.
21:26So, what's been happening while I've been away?
21:28Oh, no, sir, it has been very quiet.
21:30Well, what do you think?
21:34I only hope the poor creature died a peaceful death, sir.
21:37What?
21:38Oh, the coat, yes, it's rather snazzy, isn't it?
21:40I was referring to the moustache, the old soup strainer.
21:43Very striking, sir.
21:44Yes, rather Ronald Coleman, I thought.
21:46It was Lord Kitchener who sprang to mind on first sighting, sir.
21:49Blast it, Chiefs.
21:50I shall do what I like with my own upper lip.
21:52Indeed, sir.
21:53Will you be dining in this evening, sir?
21:55No, no, I shall go out to dine, Chiefs,
21:57and astound the natives with my moustachios.
22:09Well, well, well, well, what?
22:11Mr. Worcester, how are you?
22:14Well, how are you, Miss Singer?
22:15Corky around?
22:16I beg your pardon?
22:18Oh, you're waiting for Corky, aren't you?
22:20Oh, I didn't understand.
22:22No, I'm not waiting for him.
22:24Oh, you haven't had a row with him, have you?
22:27I don't understand.
22:29Oh, what I mean is I thought you usually dined with him
22:31before you went to the theatre.
22:33Oh, no.
22:34I've left the stage.
22:36Oh, of course, you must be married now.
22:38Yes.
22:39Oh, that is dash good.
22:40Well, I wish you all sorts of happiness and all that.
22:42Thank you very much.
22:43I'd like to...
22:44And, of course, the old devil himself.
22:46Really put one over on the uncle, eh?
22:48Thanks to Jeeves' masterpiece, what a weasel.
22:50Alexander, this is a friend of mine, Mr. Worcester.
22:53Mr. Worcester, I'd like you to meet my husband, Mr. Warple.
22:58Husband?
22:59What rot!
23:00No, no, no.
23:01Alexander and I are married.
23:02What uncle? Whose uncle?
23:04Uncle?
23:06You said something about putting one over on the uncle.
23:09No, no, no, no, no.
23:11No, I was just telling Miss Singer,
23:13or, that's to say, Mrs. Warple,
23:16about an accident I had.
23:18I fell over on my carbuncle.
23:21Carbuncle?
23:22Really, quite painful.
23:23Wait a minute, wait a minute.
23:24We've met before, haven't we?
23:26No.
23:27Yeah, you're that weird English sacking fellow.
23:33Something's happened to your face there.
23:35No, no, just the after effect.
23:37Must have been my brother.
23:38Anyway, tickety-tonk.
23:46$9.20!
23:49Come on, open the door now!
23:52I know you're in there, you chiseler!
23:54You owe me $9.40!
23:59You ain't got a chance, Jack.
24:01$9.40 for groceries that mum's-a owes me!
24:09Corky?
24:13Corky?
24:14Who's that?
24:15It's Bertie.
24:16It's Bertie!
24:20So you've deigned to come back, have you?
24:22You're the cause of all this.
24:24That'll be all for this morning, nurse.
24:26Same time tomorrow, Mr. Cochran?
24:28Yes, please.
24:33So, painting babies now, eh, Corky?
24:36That's not just any baby, that's the baby.
24:39The baby? What do you mean, the baby?
24:41Muriel's baby, of course.
24:43All thanks to your wonderful plan.
24:45And if you want an instance of the irony of fate, get acquainted with this.
24:48Here's the first commission I ever had to paint a portrait,
24:51and the sitter is that human poached egg
24:53that has butted into my life and got my allowance cut in half.
24:56But why?
24:57Because the old skinflint says he can't afford to support me and a new family.
25:01But why are you painting it?
25:03$50, Bertie.
25:05It's Uncle Alexander's idea.
25:07It's supposed to be a surprise for Muriel's birthday.
25:10The nurse takes the kid out for a breather, and they beat it down here.
25:13I can't refuse, or his uncle would stop my allowance completely.
25:16My poor old Corky.
25:18That's awful Greek tragedy.
25:23Did you know there was a baby, Jeeves?
25:25Of Mr. and Mrs. Warple, sir, yes.
25:27I saw it announced a few weeks ago in the public prints.
25:30I did not think you were emotionally prepared for the news
25:33following so hard on your discovery of their marriage, sir.
25:36Where will it all end, Jeeves?
25:38Who can say, sir?
25:40This is a new razor, isn't it?
25:42Yes, sir. I took the liberty of buying it yesterday.
25:46What on earth for? The other one was perfectly all right.
25:49I did not think that it was performing its task with the required efficacy, sir.
25:53Jeeves, I am not going to discuss my facial arrangements.
25:57Very good, sir.
25:59I read a most stimulating article in the New York Times, sir,
26:03the author of which asserts that mustaches are a most notorious cause
26:07for divorces in many parts of the country.
26:09I don't care if it's a cause of the staggers in racehorses.
26:12I will not have you editing my upper lip.
26:15As you wish, sir.
26:17Mr. Bassington Bassington has returned to New York, sir,
26:20last night while you were in bed.
26:22Cyril? Has the tour ended?
26:24It would seem so, sir.
26:26Good Lord! I wonder if they've found a Broadway theatre.
26:30OZDAD, OZDAD
26:33That's all they ever say
26:35OZDAD, OZDAD
26:38They take your breath away
26:41Never seem to fly there
26:43It's a great little show we got here, George.
26:46Glad you like it.
26:47But my boy doesn't like that sparkly stuff on the beat set in Act II.
26:50Get rid of that, will you? He says it's vulgar.
26:52Right. And he says you need another reprise of that song
26:55We're all in the happiness soup at the end of the ballroom scene.
26:57Good idea. My boy's ideas are all good.
27:00Here's the complimentary list for tonight, sir.
27:02I hate giving away tickets.
27:04Yes, fine. But add Arthur Prysock to the list, will you?
27:07Prysock, sir?
27:08Art critic on the Chronicle.
27:10Him and some crazy Englishwoman are trying to get me to put money into an art gallery.
27:13As if I didn't have problems enough.
27:15Very good, sir.
27:16Goodbye, sir.
27:18Who's this boy? What's he talking about?
27:20He's got a ten-year-old son he relies on to tell him
27:22what a Broadway audience is going to like and not going to like.
27:24He says the mental age is about the same.
27:28OZDAD
27:30OZDAD, OZDAD
27:33That's all they ever say
27:36OZDAD, OZDAD
27:46Good morning, sir.
27:47I trust you had a pleasant walk in the park, sir?
27:50Park?
27:52In the park, sir.
27:55Mrs Gregson is here to see you, sir.
28:00Art Agatha?
28:02Here in New York?
28:05Yes.
28:11Bertie? Is that you?
28:13Art Agatha.
28:15Well, good Lord.
28:16Have you been eating soup, Bertie?
28:18Soup?
28:19Seems to have left a stain on your upper lip.
28:22Oh, no, no, that's a...
28:24This is Mr Prysock.
28:26Mr Prysock, this is the nephew I told you about, Bertie Worcester.
28:28Delighted, delighted.
28:30Mr Prysock is art critic for the New York Chronicle, Bertie.
28:33For my sins.
28:34I had some business to transact in New York with him,
28:36so I thought I would look in on Cyril to see how he is getting on.
28:39Oh, well, he's...
28:40I promised his dear mother, poor Lady Bassington Bassington,
28:43that I would make sure he was perfectly all right.
28:45Yes, well, he's...
28:46Don't interrupt, Bertie.
28:48Where is Cyril?
28:49Well, he's out at...
28:53That's to say, he's out, Art Agatha.
28:56At the library, Mrs Gregson.
28:58Oh, the library.
29:00Well, that sounds like an improvement.
29:02As long as you have kept him well away from theatrical circles.
29:06Theatrical circles?
29:07As I instructed you in my letter.
29:10Letter?
29:11Will you kindly stop parroting my every word, Bertie?
29:15Parroting?
29:17The letter of introduction which I gave to Cyril to give to you.
29:21He did give it to you, I presume?
29:27Oh, that letter, yes, yes, of course, yes.
29:29That's a wonderful letter.
29:31I don't know what was so very wonderful about it.
29:33I merely warned you of Cyril's proclivities.
29:37Come, Mr Prysock.
29:38I'm staying at the Waldorf Hotel, Bertie,
29:40if you would kindly ask Cyril to contact me there this evening.
29:43Don't forget we're going to see Blumenfield's new show tonight, Mrs Gregson.
29:46Oh, no, indeed, Mr Prysock.
29:48Cyril should contact me this afternoon.
29:53Oh, jeez.
29:57You didn't give me any letter from Art Agatha.
29:59Oh, didn't I?
30:00Well, it only would have depressed you.
30:01Cyril, you have got to leave the show.
30:03Leave the show?
30:04On the opening night,
30:05the very threshold of my career, are you mad?
30:07What about the very threshold of my life?
30:09Art Agatha is coming to the opening.
30:10Well, then she'll see how talented I am
30:12and change her tune.
30:13Bertie, I really haven't got time for all this.
30:15I've got a dress rehearsal in ten minutes.
30:17I've got to relax before I go on.
30:19I've got to get into character,
30:20explore the core of the part.
30:22You've only got one line.
30:24It's a crucial one, Bertie.
30:26I hope I'm not going to be one of those actors
30:27who counts their lines.
30:28Are you going to leave the show or not?
30:30Never.
30:31Bertie, I really haven't got time for all this.
30:33I've got to relax before I go on.
30:35I've got to get into character.
30:40Think, Jeeves, think.
30:42I am thinking, sir.
30:43Are you thinking, Jeeves?
30:45Yes, sir.
30:46I can never tell, you know.
30:47I received a telephone call from Mr. Corcoran this morning, sir.
30:50You're not meant to be thinking about Mr. Corcoran, Jeeves.
30:52You're meant to be thinking about the Basington, Basington pill.
30:54With respect, sir,
30:55I am capable of retaining more than one thought in my mind at the same time.
30:58It seems that Mr. Corcoran has finished the painting of the infant
31:01and that Mr. Walpole is coming round to view it this afternoon.
31:04Well, that's good, isn't it?
31:05Possibly, sir.
31:06Mr. Corcoran is keen that we should be present for Mr. Walpole's visit.
31:17Bertie, come in.
31:18Come in.
31:19Now, stop right there.
31:22Tell me honestly,
31:23how does it strike you?
31:28Yes.
31:29Well, of course, I only saw the kid for a moment.
31:31I've painted the soul of the subject, Bertie.
31:33It's a talent we artists have.
31:36Surely a child of that age
31:37wouldn't have had time to get a soul like that, would he, Jeeves?
31:39I should think it most unlikely, sir.
31:44Well, here goes.
31:49Well, well, well, the big day dawns.
31:51Eh, my boy?
31:52Is it really ready? Is it...
32:05Is this a practical joke?
32:07I think you ought to stand a bit further back from it.
32:10I do, I do.
32:12I want to stand so far back
32:14I can't see the thing through a telescope.
32:16Try sort of half closing your eyes.
32:19Half closing your eyes?
32:20This?
32:21This is what you wasted your time and my money for all these years?
32:26A painter?
32:27I wouldn't let you paint a house.
32:30I gave you the commission thinking you might be competent.
32:34And this extract from a drunkard's nightmare is the result.
32:40This is the end.
32:42Not another cent.
32:43Not another cent!
32:50Not another cent!
32:54Well, I've said it before, Corky, and I'll say it again.
32:56Some people simply do not understand art.
32:59A better death than the jute business, Bertie.
33:02No, no, no, no, no, Corky, no.
33:05Look at it another way.
33:06What other way?
33:07Well...
33:11I'm still quite decent of old Jeeves to give you ten dollars for it.
33:13What do you mean, decent?
33:15Well, discerning, Corky, perspicacious.
33:17Old Jeeves knows a thing or two.
33:18Your old Jeeves got me into this mess in the first place.
33:22True, true.
33:26Another doughnut, Master Sidney?
33:28Sure, I'll have two.
33:30Please, have as many as you like.
33:36Disaster, Jeeves!
33:41Oh, sorry to interrupt.
33:42Not at all, sir. We were just having tea.
33:44Would you care for some?
33:46No, that's fine, Jeeves. You carry on.
33:48What's your name?
33:51Name? Worcester, don't you know?
33:54My pop's richer than you.
33:57Right.
34:06I trust I'm not taking a liberty in entertaining them, sir?
34:10Not at all, Jeeves.
34:11If that's your idea of a large afternoon, go ahead.
34:13Who is your little friend?
34:14I happened to bump into the young gentleman
34:16walking in the park with his father's valet, sir,
34:18whom I used to know quite well in London.
34:21My God, I'm exhausted.
34:23Dress rehearsal was an absolute disaster.
34:26Tea, Jeeves, if you'd be so kind.
34:28Very good, Mr. Bassington, Bassington.
34:33Have you been to see our back theatre?
34:35My dear Bertie, I haven't got a moment.
34:38We open in two hours.
34:39I don't know how much more of this I can take.
34:41One gives so much.
34:45Your tea, sir.
34:47Thank you, Jeeves, thank you.
34:48Fish face!
34:50I'm sorry?
34:51You've got a face like a fish.
34:53Well, I'm dashed.
34:55A haddock.
34:56I wouldn't have a face like that
34:57if you gave me a million dollars.
34:59Come here.
35:01Hyah!
35:04Ow!
35:05Ow!
35:06Ow!
35:07Ow!
35:08Ow!
35:09Ow!
35:10Ow!
35:11Ow!
35:12Ow!
35:13Ow!
35:14Ow!
35:15He told me not to!
35:16Ow!
35:17Ow!
35:18Ow!
35:19Ow!
35:20Ow!
35:21Ow!
35:22Ow!
35:27Extraordinary child.
35:29Who was he?
35:30Never met him before today.
35:32Mrs. Gregson and Mr. Preissach
35:34are ascending in the elevator.
35:36What?
35:37I've got to get out of here.
35:38If I can suggest a fire escape, sir?
35:44Jeeves, go up to something.
35:46I know that look.
35:47Sir?
35:50Ah, what ho, Aunt Agatha.
35:52What ho, Mr. Preissach.
35:53Is it possible for you to find
35:55a more civilized form of greeting, Bertie?
35:57Should I make some more tea, sir?
35:59Oh, yes, Jeeves, make some more tea.
36:01Very good, Mrs. Gregson.
36:03Cyril did not come to see me.
36:05Oh, really?
36:07No, well, I expect he got tied up at the library.
36:10Well, he's here now, I trust.
36:12Well, actually, no.
36:13No?
36:14Oh, this is really most unsatisfactory.
36:17I think he went...
36:19Ah, Jeeves, where is Mr. Basington-Basington today?
36:22Do we know?
36:23At the museum, sir.
36:24At the museum, that's right.
36:26Then he was...
36:29Jeeves, what are you doing?
36:31I'm hanging this picture, sir.
36:34We're not going to have that beastly thing in here, are we?
36:37It is a Corcoran, sir.
36:39My nephew knows nothing about art, Mr. Prassock.
36:42I know an awful painting when I see one.
36:44Oh, let me see.
36:50Oh, yes.
36:52Oh, yes.
36:54Yes, yes, yes.
36:56And it is a genuine...
36:58Corcoran, yes, madam?
37:00Of course.
37:01The tone, the line is unmistakable.
37:03Mm, typical of his early work.
37:05Still Life With Eggplant is the title of the piece.
37:08Mm, so clever, so clever.
37:11At first glance, there's almost the hint of a human face.
37:14We must have this work for the gallery, we must.
37:17What did you pay for it, Bertie?
37:19I didn't.
37:20I didn't give you tuppence for the beastly thing.
37:22Poor Bertie.
37:23Then who bought it?
37:24I did, sir.
37:26I gave ten for it.
37:28Ten?
37:29I'll give you 15 for it right here and now.
37:31Oh, really, sir, I would be loath to part...
37:3317, and that's my final offer.
37:35For less than 18?
37:37We must have it, Mr Prysock.
37:39This is just the sort of work
37:41that will persuade Mr Blumenfield of our serious intent.
37:4418,000, then,
37:46and exclusive access to any other Corcoran you can lay your hands on.
37:52Done.
37:53Sir?
37:54Sir?
38:16That's fine, good.
38:17Yeah, that's fine.
38:18That's fine, good.
38:19No, don't wear that tie.
38:21Can't we get him a less ostentatious tie?
38:23Fine, fine.
38:25Those frills are looking a bit tired, Nesta.
38:27That's fine, yeah.
38:29What's that awful child doing here?
38:31That's Blumenfield's son.
38:33Good lord, sir, that's the one you biffed.
38:35Hey, you, turn around.
38:37He did what?
38:38Biffed, as in biffed.
38:39Pop, that's the one.
38:41That one's no good.
38:42Which one, darling?
38:44The one with the face like a fish.
38:46Oh, that one?
38:47Yep, he's rotten.
38:50I thought so, too.
38:51What the devil do you mean?
38:53Don't yell at me.
38:54I've a dash good mind to bat little brutes round the air again.
38:56What?
38:57Now, see here, mister, I don't know your name, but...
38:59My name is Cyril Basington-Basington.
39:01And let me tell you, the Basington-Basingtons are not...
39:04I don't give a three dollar cuss what the Basington-Basingtons are accustomed to.
39:09You gotta work good to work for my pop.
39:11You, I'll come over there and stuff that hat down your neck in a minute.
39:14Do you know who you're talking to?
39:16This boy's my son.
39:17Well, you both have my deepest sympathy.
39:19That does it.
39:22Okay, Caphan, here's the deal.
39:24If that man's in it, the show's off.
39:26You can't do that.
39:27Watch me.
39:41I didn't want to do the dreaded pop, Damon.
39:43I didn't want to do it now.
39:45Don't forget this party.
39:46Now, at the end of the number, you just step out onto the stage...
39:48and you say, you'll pardon me for mentioning it, ladies...
39:50but the house is on fire.
39:51I know, yes, yes, I know.
39:52I've seen the blasted thing about a thousand times.
39:54My aunt is sitting out there just waiting to pounce.
39:56She thinks that acting is the next thing to devil worship.
39:58I won't forget this party.
39:59Nor me.
40:01All stand.
40:16Wow!
40:36What a wonderful world, what a wonderful feeling
40:41When in your heart is sweet reeling and you're just in love
40:47What a wonderful day, full of sunshine and love
40:52It's the same, the world goes away, you're just in love
40:58Nothing you can do about it, it will make you sing
41:04You'll find that you can't live without it, it's everything
41:09What a wonderful time, we need to hear your kisses
41:13Give your yes to them, yes to spring, you're just in love
41:31What a wonderful smile, do you hear the birds ringing?
41:35It's the promise of spring, dear, you're just in love
41:42What a wonderful moon, cold and mild with my leave
41:47Thank you, say it with me, honey, when you're just in, you're just, you're just in love
41:57You're just in love
42:01This is it.
42:07Now, Bertie.
42:10Now.
42:12Now.
42:17Bertie.
42:36Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire.
42:43Bertie!
42:46Fire!
43:12Make way there, please. Excuse me.
43:29Oh, Celia, what are you doing here?
43:32Oh, I'm going to get that Bertie of yours straight. Now, get back there.
43:36Get back there.
43:45We're ruined. We're ruined.
43:48Find these idiots, for God's sake, George.
43:51I like your belly nerve. I was trying to help.
43:54Bertie! Bertie!
43:57Bertie!
44:00Bertie!
44:01I'll show you. I'll dig you up.
44:04Bertie!
44:25I owe you fully, responsible Bertie. I warned you that this might happen.
44:28Don't answer back.
44:30You will return with me to London and you will personally apologise to poor Lady Basington-Basington.
44:35Silence!
44:50Last time we shall get the New York Sunday papers, sir.
44:53Ah, thank you, Jeeves.
44:54Mr. Caffeyn's new show has been retitled Where's the Fire and has excellent advance reservations, sir.
45:01Good Lord!
45:03The fiasco which attended the opening of the entertainment afforded publicity such as could not be bought, sir.
45:08I suppose you're right, Jeeves.
45:10There is also an excellent review of Mr. Corcoran's exhibition, sir.
45:14You know, Jeeves, if I'd been in your place, I think I'd have kept old Prysock's cheque.
45:18Mr. Corcoran was generous enough to pay me a percentage, sir, for acting as his agent in the matter.
45:22Ah, you really are a marvel, Jeeves, you know.
45:25That and nobbling young Sidney Blumenfield.
45:28I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir.
45:30You know, Jeeves, in spite of the fact that we're being dragged back to dear old Blighty under somewhat ignominious circumstances by an enraged aunt, I shan't be sorry to go.
45:38No, indeed, sir. It will be a pleasure to be home.
45:41Now, Jeeves, about this moustache.
45:45Yes, sir?
45:47You don't like it, do you?
45:48It is not my place to offer an opinion on the object, sir.
45:51Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not all that keen on it, either.
45:54I only kept the bally thing old to show who's master.
45:56Oh, I trust there was never any doubt about that, sir.
46:00Quite. Yes, well, um, go get the razor, will you, Jeeves?
46:04Thank you, sir.
46:12Oh, yes, Corcoran's a major artist.
46:15Me too.
46:16I love it.
46:17Me too.
46:21Congratulations.
46:22Well done.
46:23Superb. Absolutely superb.
46:25For he is a triumph.
46:26A triumph.
46:27Yes.
46:28Sorry, that's right.