• 4 months ago
the ghosts of motley hall - season 2 episode 4

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:30🎵
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01:32🎵
01:37She ain't in the cellar either.
01:38Don't bother about the white lady, Sir George.
01:41She'll appear sooner or later.
01:42Sooner or later? It's been a fortnight.
01:45It'd take her whenever she's gone. We can still hear her.
01:47Where's Fanny?
01:49She's in the bell tower having a snooze.
01:50Her moans kept him awake after night.
01:53Awful noise.
01:55Quite spine-chilling, huh?
01:57She's done it on purpose.
01:59Of course she is.
02:01I've just seen Mrs.
02:03Where?
02:04You'll not believe it.
02:05Go on.
02:06Outside.
02:19Hey.
02:24I need it.
02:26I need it.
02:29Drat.
02:35And when I got there, she'd vanished again.
02:37But...
02:38But she can't get out of the house any more than we can.
02:45I say.
02:47I've just seen the, er...
02:49W.
02:50L.
02:53Where?
02:54Bell Tower.
02:56What?
02:57No, no, no.
02:58Don't bother.
02:59No.
03:00She's gone.
03:01Oh.
03:04Now this is becoming ridiculous.
03:06We're getting so worked up, we're beginning to see her all over the place.
03:09Yeah.
03:10Matt even thinks he saw her outside.
03:12Yeah?
03:13I did.
03:14Ooh.
03:15I say.
03:16What?
03:17Matt, do you think it was that ring that upset her?
03:19What ring?
03:21Where did you find that?
03:23Where did you find that?
03:25Down by the lake.
03:26But why should a ring upset her?
03:28I don't know.
03:29I said she could have it if she liked.
03:30Didn't it look funny?
03:31Yeah.
03:32She got sort of angry.
03:33She did?
03:34Well, I do think you might have told me all this.
03:37She did.
03:38What?
03:39She did.
03:40Take the nurse.
03:41Eh?
03:42Oh.
03:43Ah.
03:44I said to Shakespeare,
03:45I can't say that, it ain't funny.
03:46It'd be funny if you said it right, he said.
03:48Cos I wasn't going to argue with him,
03:50cos it'd be a very, very difficult game.
03:52He said the line the way he'd written it.
03:54I got me laugh.
03:55Tripped over me cloak.
03:56I have returned.
04:00He wouldn't let you change a word.
04:02You had to say,
04:03just what I've written,
04:04stop putting bits in,
04:05and don't wave your arms about, really,
04:07to say the piece.
04:08Aren't you pleased?
04:09Eh?
04:10I said, aren't you pleased?
04:11What about?
04:12Me, coming back.
04:14Oh.
04:15He hadn't realised you'd gone, I see.
04:17Yes.
04:18Well, remember him...
04:19Don't you even want to know why?
04:20Er, why what?
04:21Well, why I did it.
04:22Did what?
04:23Disappeared!
04:24Oh, yes, well, why did you?
04:25Because...
04:27I'm tired of being taken for granted.
04:29Oh, come now, madam.
04:31It's true.
04:32For all the ladies anyone takes of me,
04:34I might as well be dead.
04:35You are.
04:36Don't be so literal.
04:37I'm the only female phantom in Motley,
04:40and I'm treated...
04:42I'm treated...
04:43You're treated just like the rest of us.
04:46Well, that's what I'm complaining about.
04:48Don't you understand?
04:49Don't you understand?
04:50I'm a woman.
04:52Oh.
04:53I want to feel cherished, protected, needed.
04:58And when I saw that ring...
05:00I want you to have it.
05:03It was a wedding ring!
05:12I do wish you wouldn't do this.
05:14I find loving awfully embarrassing.
05:16Can't cope.
05:20Uh...
05:21Uh...
05:22Uh, there, there.
05:25Uh, there, there.
05:30Well, don't leave it all to me. Say something.
05:32Uh, there, there.
05:33Uh, there, there.
05:34There.
05:35There, there.
05:36There, there.
05:37Well, look, we did miss you, as a matter of fact.
05:39Didn't we?
05:40Yes.
05:41And we were just worried about you, really.
05:43Weren't we?
05:44Yes.
05:45We was only teasing.
05:46Yes.
05:47Pretending not to care.
05:48It was a joke, wasn't it?
05:49Yes.
05:50Ah!
05:51Ah!
05:52Stop it! I can't bear it!
05:54No, no, no.
05:55We will make a determined effort
05:58to treat you as you wish to be treated.
06:02Whatever that is.
06:03Won't we?
06:04Yes.
06:05Yes.
06:08It wasn't your fault, Matt.
06:09You weren't to know.
06:10But after that ring,
06:12well, I couldn't face any of you.
06:14Not any of us?
06:15I had to disappear.
06:17And then I just got more and more gloomy.
06:21I know. We heard.
06:22And then I began thinking about my past.
06:25Yeah.
06:26I didn't think you had one.
06:27Well, that's just it.
06:28I haven't.
06:29Instead, I have to sit here year in, year out,
06:32listening to your endless reminiscing.
06:35I remember this and I remember that.
06:38And I can't join in,
06:39because I don't remember anything.
06:41Embarrassed for what?
06:42Who I am or why I'm here.
06:45I'm just a white lady.
06:48A white lady!
06:52I'm not a ghost.
06:55I'm just a description.
07:00Oh, it's fine.
07:01What a monstrous pile.
07:04We'll be years reading this.
07:07We have plenty of time.
07:09Suppose there's nothing here.
07:11There must be something.
07:12Some little anecdote,
07:14some tiny reference that will help us find out who she was.
07:19How will we know when we've got to it?
07:21It's a question of putting two and two together.
07:24Two and two what?
07:25Well, ain't she going to help?
07:26It's her past you're looking for.
07:30That's a bit funny.
07:32What are you reading?
07:33I wrote from this lovesick young lady.
07:37That's quite funny, isn't it?
07:39I say, can I read one?
07:42Why not?
07:43Who are they to?
07:44You.
07:47How dare you read my letters!
07:56Wait, Miss Lee!
08:00Miss Lee!
08:10Have oft times been seen
08:13Habited all in white
08:15Ever howling with a loud voice
08:17That's her.
08:18Go on, Fanny.
08:20And uttering such doleful cries
08:23That all who do hear them
08:25Are full of terror
08:28Some say the phantom
08:30Be the spirit of
08:33Of
08:34Yes, go on, spit it off.
08:35Spit it off.
08:39That's all.
08:40All?
08:41What do you mean all?
08:42It can't be all.
08:43Well, it is.
08:45There must be more.
08:46There must, there must!
08:47Sir Eames!
08:50Calm down, Sir George!
08:51Calm down, calm down!
08:53We've been sat here a week, one week
08:55Reading through this mountain of inanity
08:57Boring ourselves senseless
08:59And when we finally do find something
09:06It's incomplete.
09:07He's cracking up, Bodders.
09:12I've seen her outside again!
09:15Eh?
09:16The white lady!
09:17You can't, my dad. She's in the bell tower.
09:19She's outside!
09:20Fishhooks!
09:21We'll find her. I know we will.
09:27How long have you been here?
09:29Ages.
09:30You know what I mean?
09:31I've no idea what you mean.
09:32I've seen you outside.
09:33Outside?
09:34Outside Motley.
09:35What are you up to?
09:36Don't you talk to me like that!
09:38You can get outside, Motley!
09:40No, I can't!
09:41You can! I know you can!
09:42Oh, rubbish!
09:43You're lying!
09:45Leave the bell tower!
09:46Now, listen to me!
09:47Leave the bell tower!
09:49Not until you tell me!
09:50Right!
09:52I'm not staying here to be bullied by a stable boy.
10:36Hello?
11:06Is anything down there?
11:08Yes!
11:09What?
11:11Me!
11:13So either you believe Matt or you believe me.
11:15Where is Matt, by the way?
11:16Oh, he's creeping round the grounds, hoping to catch me.
11:19How do you know that?
11:20I don't know, but I imagine he is.
11:22Why should he say he saw you outside if he didn't?
11:24Yes.
11:25How do I know?
11:26Because it's the truth.
11:27Then why haven't I told you?
11:29Because you've got something to hide.
11:31Yes.
11:32How do we know that you haven't?
11:33For all we know, you don't want us to know that you know how to.
11:35Yes!
11:37How to what?
11:38How to get out of Motley, of course!
11:42There's a ghost outside.
11:43Please!
11:44Fire them all!
11:51Hang on a minute!
11:57Sorry for battering it!
11:58Oh!
12:00I say, sorry for bursting in on you like this.
12:03It's a bit difficult to explain, actually.
12:06The fact of the matter is I...
12:10By Agincourt!
12:12It can't be!
12:15It is!
12:16Isn't it?
12:18You are, aren't you?
12:20Matilda!
12:22My long-lost wife!
12:24Matilda!
12:25My long-lost wife!
12:54What?
13:14How is she?
13:15She seems to be in a state of shock at the moment.
13:18Poor old Duckling!
13:20Duckling?
13:22She was Matilda of Aylesbury when she married me.
13:25I used to call her my little Aylesbury Duckling.
13:32By the way, I was Godfrey of Basingstoke.
13:35Ah! How do you do?
13:36How do you do?
13:38Perhaps I should explain. We all were...
13:40Oh, that's all right. Matt's done all that.
13:42And it's 1900 and something or other, isn't it?
13:45Yes, yes.
13:47I was a knight.
13:48Errant, actually.
13:50I also was a knight.
13:51So was I, but not errant.
13:53You don't look much like knights to me.
13:55Well, we didn't...
13:56I can assure you we were.
13:58Then where's your armour?
13:59We didn't wear any.
14:00You must have been funny looking knights without any armour.
14:02Mind you, if I hadn't been wearing this lot,
14:05I wouldn't have had my accident.
14:07What accident?
14:09Sure you've got a minute?
14:11Yes.
14:12Right.
14:16The war's over.
14:17Little woman's waiting at home.
14:19I haven't seen much of her, actually.
14:21So I'm galloping back at quite a lick.
14:24Now then, one of the troubles with these things
14:26is that they do tend to overheat a bit.
14:28Not much air gets in.
14:30Yes, as a matter of fact,
14:32I had this one modified for the Battle of Halflar.
14:35Yes, lots of holes drilled in suitable spots.
14:39Where was I?
14:40Galloping back home.
14:42Oh, yes, that's right.
14:43And I'm jolly hot, aren't I?
14:45So I pull up at the well
14:47and I lean forward in the saddle
14:49to get at the old bucket.
14:50A weedy thing to do, actually.
14:54And over-balanced, you see.
14:59Thank you.
15:00Top-heavy, you see.
15:02Oh, excuse me.
15:03Oh, I'm so sorry.
15:04You all right?
15:05Thank you very much.
15:06Straight down the well.
15:07Yes.
15:08And that's when I found out there wasn't any water.
15:10Oh.
15:11What happened?
15:12Well, I must have got sort of jammed about 15 feet down.
15:16Awkward, really.
15:18Stuck in a well upside down in a suit of armour.
15:20You feel a bit of a fool, actually.
15:22I mean, everybody did their best.
15:24They tried hauling me up
15:26the first time the chain broke
15:28and the second time me boots came off.
15:30And then someone suggested drilling another well next to it
15:33and tunnelling through and blowing me up with gunpowder.
15:36Capital plan.
15:37Yes, but of course, a thing like that's a big operation.
15:40Hardly worth it for one night.
15:42So, um, that was that.
15:45You, uh, you...
15:47Oh, that's a doornail.
15:48Yes, kind of.
15:49You've, uh, been down there ever since?
15:52Well, must have been, yes.
15:54Although I didn't actually start haunting until today.
15:57Why, suddenly I sort of woke up.
16:00Godfrey, I said, you're still down that dreadful well.
16:04And not only that, you're, um...
16:06Quite.
16:07Big shock, suddenly realising you're a ghost.
16:10Well, you'll soon get into the spirit of it.
16:13Will I?
16:14Yes.
16:15Jolly nice to hear.
16:16And also, this young lad was peering at me down the well
16:19and somehow I knew he was a ghost too.
16:21You know, but the other funny thing about it is that, uh...
16:24I'm not boring, am I?
16:26No, no.
16:27Good, good.
16:28Well, the other funny thing about it
16:29was that I found myself the right way out.
16:31So I thought, you're not staying down that well like pussy.
16:35And off I floated.
16:37Marvellous.
16:38I think it was the ring that started it all.
16:41Ring?
16:42Yes, Matilda's.
16:43After me falling down the well.
16:44It must have got me going, so to speak.
16:48Matilda of Basingstoke?
16:50Yes, I suppose after me falling down the well
16:53she just sort of pined away, poor old duckling.
16:55How long had you been, uh, married?
16:57Yes, about eight years.
16:59Mind you, I was away most of the time.
17:01Away?
17:02Yes, a dreadful muck-up, actually.
17:04Because now we were at the church
17:06with all the Basingstokes and most of the Aylesburys.
17:09Choir singing away like anything.
17:12Gathering on, big kiss.
17:14Damn it all, up writes King Henry.
17:17You doing anything, Basingstoke, he says.
17:19Getting married, I said.
17:20Well, hurry up about it, says he, cos we're off.
17:23Off?
17:24Yes, off to invade France.
17:26And he's got the army with him.
17:28Bit of a cleft stick situation, don't you think?
17:30I mean, you've got to argue with the king, can't you?
17:33Besides, we Basingstokes love it with scrap.
17:37So you just bounced off leaving Matilda at the altar?
17:40Good heavens, no.
17:41I rode off.
17:43It's no wonder she lost her memory.
17:45Did she?
17:46Completely.
17:47I say, poor old duckling.
17:49Yes, until you spoke to her just now,
17:51she had no idea who she was.
17:53Never has had.
17:54How ghastly.
17:56Can't remember a thing, eh?
17:58No.
17:59Oh, I'm glad you told me.
18:01Well, I'd better trot upstairs and sort things out.
18:05Tell her all about herself.
18:08I think she needs to be left on her own for a little longer.
18:12Yes.
18:13Let us talk to her first.
18:15Prepare a sensible move.
18:18And I'll just wait down here, shall I?
18:20Quite.
18:21We'll send her down.
18:25Excuse us.
18:26Of course, surely.
18:39You can't keep him sitting down there.
18:42Well, he doesn't have to sit down.
18:44I can go back to his well.
18:46You're being a bit silly.
18:48No, I'm not.
18:49It's just not fair.
18:50He knows everything about me,
18:52and I don't know anything about either of us.
18:54Just like then, when I got married.
18:56Couldn't he come back later when I'd had time to adjust?
19:00Say, in a hundred years?
19:02No, no, he's just as nervous as you are.
19:05Yes, of course he is.
19:07Go on now, he won't bite.
19:10Do you really think I should?
19:12Yes.
19:13Yes.
19:15All right.
19:18Oh...
19:21A howl, if you want anything.
19:30Oh!
19:31Oh!
19:32Oh!
19:37Oh!
19:42Hello, Matilda.
19:44Hello, Godfrey.
19:54Where are the others?
19:56In the bell tower.
19:58Oh.
20:01Feeling better?
20:03Oh, yes, thank you, much.
20:06Sorry to hear about the old memory packing up.
20:08What?
20:09When did it?
20:10I don't remember.
20:11Sorry.
20:14Been a long time, hasn't it?
20:17What has?
20:19Well, since I...
20:21Since I left for Normandy with Harry and the chaps.
20:24Harry who?
20:25Harry V.
20:26Sorry.
20:30Never wrote, I'm afraid.
20:32Didn't you?
20:33Too busy fighting and pillaging.
20:35Oh, yes, cool, cool.
20:39Got into some jolly tight corners over there.
20:42I remember once outside Calais, we ran into some French chivalry.
20:46Where did we meet?
20:47What? Oh, it was... Oh, no, it's gone.
20:50Anyway, these six knights came to us, and I said to my squire...
20:54Do you remember a young David of Dursingham?
20:56No.
20:57Oh, shame. Nice boy.
20:59His father tilted for Wiltshire.
21:01Where did I live?
21:02What? Oh, somewhere around here.
21:04I said, David... Somewhere around here?
21:06Well, must have been.
21:07Make for that high ground and get the sun behind you.
21:10Did you, er... Did you...
21:12Did you sing ballads under my window?
21:15Don't think so.
21:16So we tore across the years here.
21:18Do wish you wouldn't keep interrupting, Duckling,
21:21and took up a jolly strong position.
21:23I want to find out what I did, not what you did.
21:26Can't tell you, Duckling, can I?
21:28I wasn't here.
21:30Well, what about the wedding? I presume you were here for that.
21:33Now, don't get cross, Duckling. Of course I was.
21:36Jolly nice wedding.
21:38I wore my jousting armour, remember?
21:41No, I don't remember.
21:43Yes, you do.
21:44Set with the brass vambraces and the ornamental solerettes.
21:47I looked absolutely marvellous.
21:49What did I wear?
21:50Hmm?
21:51What did I wear? Your bride.
21:53Er...
21:54Well, you looked first-rate.
21:56First-rate? Yes.
21:58Everybody said so.
21:59Matilda looks absolutely first-rate, they said.
22:01But tell me what I wore.
22:03I want to know what I wore.
22:05Steady, old girl.
22:07I got it.
22:08I remember exactly.
22:09Oh, you do.
22:10Something white.
22:13Something white?
22:15Oh, something white!
22:17Oh!
22:19You don't know how we met.
22:21You don't know where I lived.
22:22You haven't told me anything about me.
22:24Oh, Duckling darling!
22:26Oh, don't call me by that ridiculous name!
22:29You know, I was really looking forward to being Matilda of Basingstoke
22:33and hearing about all the things I did when I was alive.
22:36But you don't know!
22:38Because you're too wrapped up in yourself!
22:42Please don't!
22:44Don't!
22:45I...
22:46Duckling!
22:47Matilda!
22:48Matilda.
22:49Come back at once!
22:50Come back at once!
22:56Didn't go too well, did it?
22:58Not terribly.
23:00Can't stop talking about herself, can she?
23:03Well, she...
23:05Matilda!
23:07Oh, don't call me that!
23:10I wouldn't tie myself to that bone-headed marionette in a million years.
23:14But you did! He's your husband!
23:16Don't be so ungrateful.
23:18You still wouldn't know who you are.
23:20Bodkin's right, Matilda. Godfrey gave you your name.
23:23He can have it back.
23:24I absolutely refuse to be Matilda of Basingstoke.
23:28I'm the White Lady of Motley Hall.
23:31Unmarried.
23:32We won't accept that.
23:34You're his property. He owns you.
23:36Oh, no, he doesn't.
23:37I've decided to remain anonymous.
23:40I thought you wanted to know who you was.
23:42Not any more.
23:44I don't think Godfrey's going to like it.
23:47I don't think Godfrey's going to stay up for it.
23:51You just don't feel she's Matilda.
23:53Used to be such a quiet little duckling.
23:55Wouldn't say boo to a goose.
23:57What are you going to do?
23:58Only one thing I can do.
24:00Show her who's master.
24:01Can't have a wife shouting and screaming all the time.
24:05You couldn't have made a mistake, could you?
24:07I mean, it's been a long time since you both...
24:09Oh, quite.
24:10Still, a chap knows his own wife.
24:12She's Matilda, all right.
24:14You know, it's a bit hard.
24:16You climb out of a well after 700 years,
24:18find your wife and she don't want you.
24:22I suppose I was a bit rotten going off to war on our wedding day.
24:27You coming back to the house?
24:29In a while.
24:42I thought you said you couldn't get out of the house.
24:46Who are you?
24:47Matilda.
24:49Matilda of Basingstoke.
25:09Now, I'm not going to make a speech.
25:11Yeah, yeah.
25:12But I'd just like to say how splendidly
25:14everything's turned out for everyone.
25:16Yeah.
25:17Thanks to Matt finding the ring and raising first Matilda and then me.
25:21White Lady, forgive me for mistaking you for Matilda.
25:25Oh.
25:26In fact, the only cloud in the horizon
25:28is the fact that you still don't know who you are.
25:30Well, er...
25:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
25:33No, it isn't a cloud at all.
25:35You see, I've decided that not knowing who I was
25:38means I don't have to be anybody I don't want to be,
25:40if I don't want to.
25:44I don't want to be.
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