Brady Brides episode 1x05 The Siege
Brady Brides episode 1x05 The Siege
Transcript
00:00It's a new life for two girls named Brady, who have left the bunch to make it on their own.
00:12Jan fell in love with a man named Phillip, the nicest guy she'd known.
00:19In the meantime, along came Wally. He's different than Phillip every way.
00:27Soon the girls are headed for a double wedding, a very special day.
00:35A house is too expensive for each couple. The only way to buy what they decide
00:42is to share the cost by moving in together.
00:46That's the way that they became the Brady Brides.
00:49The Brady Brides. The Brady Brides.
00:54That's the way they became the Brady Brides.
01:00Well, I think we did exactly the right thing.
01:24I agree.
01:25This is the first time that Dad's ever gone on a trip and left Mom alone for a few nights.
01:29I'm glad we invited her to sleep over.
01:31Oh, I love your mother.
01:33So do I.
01:34I have a lot of fun when she's around.
01:36So do I.
01:37But I think it'll be a disaster.
01:39So do I.
01:42And Mike, while you were away, the girls insisted that I sleep over.
01:46Right. Oh, Phillip and Wally said they wanted me to stay too.
01:50Well, I had a lot of things planned to do around here in the evenings,
01:53but when they beg and plead like that, how can I say no?
01:58She could have said no, but she didn't.
02:03Mothers-in-law, by tradition, cause problems.
02:05Oh, Phillip, that's so old-fashioned.
02:08Mom's not a mother-in-law. She's Mom.
02:10Well, maybe so, but we've never had a houseguest before,
02:13and, well, we're just learning to live together.
02:16I'll bet five bucks it's gonna be a mess.
02:23My five's on Mom. Everything's going to be fine.
02:26I think Wally's right for a change. I'll bet five dollars too.
02:29You're on.
02:36A gourmet dinner, an immaculate house.
02:38Mom won't be so impressed. She'll probably vote us kids of the year.
02:41Probably will.
02:45How's Operation Spotless coming?
02:47I'll have all this stuff organized in no time.
02:58Clean as a whistle.
03:01Let's see. Across the red wire with the yellow wire, you'll get an orange wire.
03:08Wally, listen. Mom will really...
03:11Mom will really be impressed with this.
03:13Every appliance in the house will be set up on an automatic timer.
03:16And in case of an emergency, I rigged it to alert the police department,
03:19the fire department, and the hospital.
03:21You left out Chicken Delight.
03:25You know, Philip, I've already finished my work.
03:28You can't rush a scientist.
03:32Tossed green salad? Yummy.
03:34Veal? Just right.
03:38Green bean casserole? Scrumptious.
03:42Spaghetti? Oh, no!
03:45Oh, Marcia, you had only one job. Spaghetti.
03:48I know, but it keeps coming out. I can't stop it.
03:52Turn the little knob.
03:57Oh, no, it's Mom.
03:58Uh, you clear off the counters and I'll check on the guys.
04:03Coming, Mom!
04:04Philip? Already.
04:07Wally?
04:10Already.
04:11Marcia?
04:13Already.
04:19Mom, are you here already?
04:23Hi, kid.
04:24Hi, Mom.
04:25How are you?
04:27I am really impressed.
04:29The dinner was delicious and the house is spotless.
04:31Thank you. It was nothing.
04:36To be perfectly honest, Jan helped with the dinner.
04:39Oh, Jan's always been helpful.
04:42I'll never forget the time she felt sorry for Marcia's goldfish
04:45because she thought they were tired out from swimming all day long.
04:50She was so sad because they were wet and cold.
04:54Never mind, Mom.
04:56It was so funny, Jan dried them off with a towel
04:58and put them on her pillow to sleep with her in a warm, dry bed.
05:05Jan, how could you do that?
05:08I was just a kid.
05:11No excuses.
05:12All right, you tell everybody about last night's dinner.
05:15Well, it wasn't my fault.
05:16No excuses.
05:18Nowhere on a TV dinner does it say to take it out of the box
05:20before you put it in the oven.
05:24Anyway, Marcia's best cooking is never done in the kitchen.
05:38Wally, my mother's watching.
05:42She'll just have to wait her turn.
05:47Well, does anybody want anything else?
05:49No, I think.
05:51You see, I think I will have an after-dinner banana.
05:57Oh, really, the dinner was just great.
05:59I mean, the salad was yummy, the veal was just right,
06:02and the casserole was scrumptious.
06:05And?
06:07And?
06:11And the spaghetti, the spaghetti was aromatic and flavorful
06:18and solid.
06:23Well, you did the dinner, and now I'll do the dishes.
06:26Oh, Mom, Mom, Mom, no, don't bother, Mom.
06:29You can do them in the morning.
06:34Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go to sleep.
06:36Big day tomorrow.
06:37I'll get the cot.
06:38Oh, I just love sleeping on cots.
06:39It'll be fun, just like camping out.
06:41Mom, the cot's not for you.
06:43Oh, no, I refuse to separate newlyweds.
06:45But the cot's so uncomfortable.
06:47Oh, that's okay.
06:48Phillip will love it.
06:54If Phillip can find it.
06:58Besides, Mom, you're our guest, not to mention our mother.
07:02Oh, Phillip, I feel terrible.
07:04Oh, now, what's a son-in-law for?
07:06But come on.
07:07No buts.
07:08I insist.
07:09Now you sleep in our room.
07:10Aw, thanks, Phillip.
07:11Good night.
07:12Well, come on there, roomie.
07:14Good night, Mom.
07:15Good night, Dan.
07:17Phillip, thank you.
07:19Mom, I want to tell Phillip something.
07:21Would you give me a minute?
07:22Oh, sure.
07:24Take all the time you want.
07:26Mom.
07:33It's our first night apart since the wedding.
07:36Oh, that's okay.
07:38I got plenty of company.
07:40Yeah, but did you ever try to snuggle up to a goldfish?
07:44No, but you did.
07:47I told you, I was just a kid then.
07:49That's all right.
07:50I guess I'll kiss you good night anyway.
07:54That's all right, guys.
07:55We're married.
08:02Wally.
08:06Yeah.
08:10With Mom here, will you put on your pajamas?
08:13You know I don't have any.
08:18How about your jeans?
08:21It's too hot for jeans.
08:23Wally.
08:33Is it getting warm in here all of a sudden?
08:38Or is it getting cold in here all of a sudden?
08:44Okay.
08:46What are you thinking about?
08:48Jan and Phillip.
08:49It must be hard on them, spending the night so far apart.
08:52Phillip is only in the living room, not Siberia.
08:55I know.
08:56But I just think that you could have volunteered for the cot when Phillip offered to take it.
09:00And leave you in here all by yourself?
09:03I could have never done that to you.
09:07Yeah, but you'd be in the living room, not Siberia.
09:11Let me put it this way.
09:13No.
09:17You don't want me to pout, do you?
09:20I can pout for weeks at a time.
09:26What was that?
09:35Jan, Phillip, are you all right?
09:37Fine. We're both fine.
09:40Well, I'd ask what happened, but I'm not sure I want to know.
09:44Oh, believe me, we...
09:48It's definitely not what you think.
09:50Too bad.
09:54Well, it won't happen again because Wally has agreed to sleep on the cot.
09:59I have?
10:03I guess I have.
10:06Yes, sir, there's nothing more I want to do in this world than to sleep out here.
10:10Just me and the cot and 32 guppies.
10:32Wally, honey, what happened?
10:34I had a nightmare.
10:36Moby Dick grabbed one of my legs and Jaws grabbed the other and said,
10:39Make a wish.
10:43Okay, that's it. I'm taking the cot and I don't want to hear any arguments.
10:46Oh, no, Mom, we won't let you.
10:47Why can't I take the cot?
10:49It's my cot.
10:50It's my cot, too, and I'm sleeping on it. That's final.
10:55She does have a point.
10:58If Jan sleeps on the cot and Mom sleeps with Marsha, will that mean...
11:04Hi, roomie.
11:21Jan?
11:26I just wanted to kiss you goodnight.
11:27Oh, well, you already kissed me goodnight.
11:29Oh, I can't get too much of a good thing.
11:37What a kiss. I hear bells.
11:42I'd like to take credit, but it's the door.
11:45At this hour?
11:46Yeah.
11:48Coming, coming.
11:51Good evening.
11:52I found this kid in front of your house here, and he says he belongs to you.
11:56Harry, are you all right?
11:57Uh-huh.
11:58Come on.
11:59My mother had to work late and I got lonely, so I left her note and came over here, okay?
12:03Oh, sure.
12:04It's all right, officer. We're sort of his home away from home.
12:07Well, is this cot for the kid?
12:09Oh, I can explain, officer.
12:12You see, this cot is here because my mother-in-law is sleeping over.
12:15Oh, are you his mother-in-law?
12:17No, I'm his wife.
12:19Ah, don't tell me you're his mother-in-law.
12:24No, she's sleeping in there.
12:26I'm sleeping in there with Philip.
12:33While his wife sleeps on the cot.
12:36Well, that's only because my wife is sleeping with my mother-in-law.
12:41Both of your mother-in-laws are sleeping with your wife.
12:43No, we only have one mother-in-law.
12:44But you got two wives.
12:47Oh, hello.
12:48Oh, I'm his wife.
12:49And I'm their mother-in-law and I should be sleeping on the cot.
12:52That would make you his wife.
12:54You see, it's all a matter of deciding who sleeps with who.
12:57Whom.
12:58Who sleeps with whom.
13:00That's what I'm trying to find out.
13:02It's very simple, officer.
13:03You see, right now, it's my turn to sleep with Wally.
13:08Oh.
13:11Folks.
13:12Folks, I'm sure there is a simple explanation for this, but...
13:16Oh, boy, it's probably too complicated.
13:19Officer, trust me.
13:21I can vouch for these people.
13:24Why not?
13:25He's the only one that makes sense around here anyway.
13:28Thank you, officer.
13:29Good night.
13:30Thank you very much.
13:31Good night.
13:32Good night.
13:33Well, I sure am glad to be here.
13:35Where do I sleep?
13:37We don't even know where we sleep.
13:39I told you this night would be a disaster.
13:41The other $5 we bet him, we should have made it $10.
13:47Harry, I told you before, I don't like you out on the streets at night.
13:53I'm not.
13:54I'm in your living room.
13:56And in two minutes, you're going to be in the bedroom.
13:58Now, that's not very practical.
14:00Where is he going to sleep?
14:01Right between you and Wally.
14:04A Harry sandwich.
14:12Harry.
14:13Hmm?
14:14You're breathing on my neck.
14:18Well, I can't stop breathing.
14:26Harry.
14:27Hmm?
14:28Now you're breathing on my neck.
14:31Well, whose neck am I supposed to breathe on?
14:35Try sleeping on your stomach.
14:39Well.
14:40Hmm?
14:41Sing to me, I can't sleep.
14:43Sing to you?
14:45Just one song.
14:46My mother always sings to me.
14:48Oh, Harry, I'm too tired to sing.
14:51Okay.
14:53But I'll be up all night.
14:55Breathing on your neck.
15:01And on your neck.
15:04All right, I'll sing.
15:07Oh, good.
15:13Thank you.
15:17Moon river, wider than a mile.
15:22I'm crossing you in style someday.
15:28Old dream maker, you heartbreaker.
15:33Wherever you're going, I'm going your way.
15:39Two drifters off to see the world.
15:46There's such a lot of world to see.
15:51We're after the same rainbow's end.
15:58Waiting round the bend, my huckleberry friend.
16:06Moon river and me.
16:18That was wonderful, honey.
16:20Thank you, dear.
16:24Look, I put him to sleep.
16:27You often have that effect on people.
16:31Well, let's us get some sleep.
16:34Philip.
16:36Huh?
16:38What's a huckleberry friend?
16:51I can't sleep.
16:54Go ahead, keep making bubbles.
16:56See if I care.
16:58Go ahead, keep staring at me.
17:00You think it bothers me?
17:02Yes, you're right, it bothers me.
17:04Blink, please, just once, blink.
17:18Atlas, what's she doing here?
17:24Thanks, I didn't want to wake anybody up with the doorbell.
17:26Well, that's okay.
17:27I was up anyway, but what are you doing up?
17:30Well, Sam's at an all-night bowling tournament,
17:32and I heard a noise outside my house,
17:34and I went out to check it out,
17:35and the wind blew the door shut and locked me out.
17:37Oh, well, you might as well spend the night here, Atlas.
17:39Everyone else is.
17:41Hey, we could watch TV.
17:42Is it too early for the late show
17:43or too late for the early show?
17:44No, I think it'll make too much noise.
17:46We could play a game.
17:47Oh, that's a great idea.
17:48You get the game, and I'll get us some more light.
17:56Oh, look, look, look, I didn't touch that.
17:58You're on a stereo.
18:00Oh, look at that.
18:03Oh, Alice, my gosh, the kitchen.
18:09Mom, look.
18:10What's going on?
18:12I don't know what happened.
18:13We were just trying to play a game.
18:15Your mom just hit this little switch here.
18:17Mom, that's not a light switch.
18:19I told you, never rush a scientist.
18:25Hi, folks, remember me?
18:28Your mom went off down at the station,
18:29and just my luck, I was in the neighborhood.
18:31Oh, well, I can explain everything, officer.
18:33You see, we were just having a scrabble tournament.
18:36Oh, well, that clears that up.
18:38Officer, I was working on this remote control device,
18:40and the wires must have gotten crossed.
18:42Oh, and there's no problem?
18:43No.
18:44No, none at all.
18:45We're fine.
18:46Yeah, thanks for coming by.
18:47Oh, well, just doing my job.
18:49You people ought to try to get some sleep.
18:53Officer, I'm locked out of my house.
18:55Would you take me home?
18:56I don't belong here.
18:57Lady, nobody does.
18:59Good night, everyone.
19:00Good night, Alice.
19:01Good night, officer.
19:02So long.
19:03Bye.
19:06Now, everything's back to normal.
19:08Come on, men, follow me!
19:11All right, lady, where's the fire?
19:13You're on fire?
19:14It's a scrabble game.
19:15It's a false alarm.
19:16You see, I was working on this remote control device.
19:18Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think if we leave quietly,
19:21we'd all be better off.
19:23I didn't say so, Ralph.
19:25All right, troopers, let's move it out.
19:27Good night.
19:28Good night.
19:29Thank you.
19:30Nice axe.
19:31Good night, Alice.
19:32Thank you.
19:37Oh, well, I think that's enough excitement for one night.
19:41What do you say we all try to get some sleep?
19:43Sounds good to me.
19:44Sounds good to me.
19:45Sounds good to me.
19:46Sounds good to me.
19:48Oh, boy.
19:50Night.
19:51Night.
19:52Night.
19:54Well, hey, fellas, should we try to get some sleep?
20:03Good job we got here just in time.
20:05You could have beat them.
20:06Wait, wait, wait!
20:08She must be in shock.
20:09Oh, no!
20:10Hey, what are you doing?
20:11It's okay, we're paramedics.
20:12Paramedics?
20:13Oh, no!
20:14There goes my mom!
20:15There goes my mother-in-law!
20:16There goes my cat!
20:17There goes our $10.
20:23There.
20:24Bimmich.
20:25B-I-M-I-C-H.
20:29Bimmich.
20:32Anybody care to challenge?
20:39Well, I won again.
20:43It's my game time to rise and shine.
20:46Man, did I sleep great.
20:47Come on, everyone, come on.
20:49Well, I'll bump up.
20:50It's gonna be a super day.
20:54I'm going to school.
20:55I'll see y'all later.
20:58Bimmich?
21:00What's a Bimmich?
21:02It's kind of like a huckleberry friend.
21:14It's Brady Bowl trivia time.
21:16When Mike and Carol Brady went to a costume party, who did they go as?
21:25The answer is...
21:29Next question, Brady junkies.
21:39Stay tuned.
21:40The answer's coming up after the next Brady Pride.
21:46We'll be right back.