SOAP Season 1 episodes 13-14
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PeopleTranscript
00:00Answered on next week's episode of so
00:06This is the story of two sisters
00:10Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell
00:14Jessica lives in a neighborhood known as rich
00:18Jessica likes life. The only thing about life. She would change if she could is that she would set it all to music
00:26The Tate's have more secrets than they do money
00:33We're approaching Mary Campbell's house
00:38Mary too likes life
00:41Unfortunately life doesn't seem to be too crazy about her as you can see the Campbell's don't have nearly as much money as the Tate's
00:49They do however have as many secrets
00:56In
00:57Last week's episode of soap Jessica came back after walking out on Chester and told him if he was ever unfaithful again
01:05She'd leave him for good
01:07Jessica then went to visit Corinne only Corinne wasn't there but Peter was and with another woman
01:14Jessica was so angry that Peter was cheating on her daughter. She threatened to kill him
01:19Corinne came home later and also found Peter with another woman
01:23Upset she checked into a motel called father Tim and said she was going to kill herself
01:29Father Tim rushed over and found Corinne wasn't going to kill herself. She only felt like killing herself
01:35Actually Peter was the one she really wanted to kill and Peter who was taking a shower after his busy day
01:41Much to his surprise was in fact killed
01:45Confused you won't be after this week's episode of soap
01:53We began this week's episode the morning after Burt was able and Mary was willing
02:02It's just a bowl of cherries
02:05It's just terrific
02:07This is a day for pancakes. If ever there was a day for pancakes, this is it
02:14Am I happy I did it
02:16I
02:20Very well, too
02:24No, I guess it's something never really forget how to do I
02:27know it's like
02:29It's like riding a bike. I mean you stay away from it for a few years you get back on, you know
02:35Back on the bike path again
02:38The bike path again
02:43Life is really good
02:45My sons are here and Jody. Oh Jody. Jody had a date with a girl last night and didn't come home
02:56Didn't sleep one way. Come on Bob. Would you well you snore they carry on I not all night right now
03:02I'm functioning solely on adrenaline
03:05You guys hey about some pancakes this morning. Hey, how about some quiet at night?
03:10Bob had trouble sleeping. Yeah, I never heard anything like it. I thought they had the Ohio State marching band in
03:27Well, this is disgusting
03:32There are other people here
03:35I thought I'd make pancakes this morning thing kind of celebrate I'll help you
03:40Well, actually pancakes aren't enough. It really should be something much bigger. I'll go dig pancakes
03:46I got a party a party. We'll throw a party. We'll have a party to celebrate to celebrate. Yeah
03:57You can't have a party for that come on sure you can we'll invite everybody we know
04:05Hey
04:08How was it what what what I love this guy he's out all night with a girl he says to me what
04:14Spectacular right now, you know why they write those songs
04:18Come on, come on. Admit it. It's pretty great stuff. You're embarrassing him. I'm not embarrassing him Mary. This is man talk
04:25Well, you're embarrassing me. It's rank
04:28Do anything. Oh
04:31Sure
04:33Listen I gotta go if we're gonna have a party we gotta start inviting people
04:36Listen, I'm gonna go by and I'll invite Peter in person and then I'll go to the taste. I'll even invite them
04:41What the heck? Oh, it's terrific. It's so terrific. I feel like Paul Revere
04:46Tell people what Mary if I don't tell him about the party, how are they gonna know to come?
04:50No, I mean you can't tell them the reason for the party. Oh, I can't
04:55No
04:56How about I tell them it's a surprise party a surprise party? Yeah, if they knew what it was for
05:03Why would they be surprised?
05:15Peter
05:18Hey Peter Peter
05:21Oh Pete, hey Pete Pete, it's me dad
05:25Hey, I'm sorry to come barging in like this, but you didn't hear me knocking. I don't know the door was open. So anyway
05:34Listen, I I came here to invite you to a party tonight
05:37Mary and I gonna have a little celebration, you know, it's not a birthday or anything like that. We're just celebrating
05:42I don't know just I don't know life
05:46Happiness general joy, you know, actually, it's not so general. We are celebrating something very specific
05:55Anyway, I really want you to be there around 8 o'clock and dress informal and RSVP
06:05Peter if you can you hear me with the water running because if you can and you answered me I can't hear you
06:11I
06:15Talk in the water
06:18Peter oh
06:22My god I
06:24I
06:39Can't get over it. I just can't get over it
06:43He looked so peaceful. He was murdered. I know
06:48He's my son. I know darling. Why did you sit down? I'll get you a cup of coffee
06:52Who would do a thing like that?
06:54What I can't believe is that it happened in Connecticut. That's what I can't believe
06:58I mean this kind of thing happens in states like, New Jersey or California or Chicago
07:06Listen everybody, why don't you help yourself to some food Benson's got a whole mess of food in the dining room
07:10It is not a mess
07:13Who can eat at a time like this who could possibly eat I could I'm famished
07:19There's nothing wrong with eating
07:22Peter would want us to eat. What are you talking about?
07:26Peter is dead. What does he care whether we eat or not?
07:30That life goes on is that a fact life goes on how what about Peters life that did not go on
07:37Okay, I'm sorry. Forgive me. I don't know what I'm saying. It's the grief
07:41Thank you for coming father was really very kind of you. You're welcome. Mrs. Campbell. I've known you two family since childhood
07:47All right. So let's say it does happen in Connecticut, which is highly unusual
07:53Then I mean you'd think it would happen in Hartford or New Haven or Stamford, but not Dunn's River
08:02Bob this is a very sad time. Well, excuse me
08:07So it happens in Connecticut and
08:10Fantastically enough it happens in Dunn's River, but to happen in your own family
08:16Somebody else's family maybe but your own
08:20We all have to go Jessica sooner or later. We all have to go. Yeah, and some not soon enough
08:29When I go I want a big funeral with hundreds of people crying, you know in television coverage
08:36And flags at half-mast and the school's closed
08:40and a riderless horse
08:43I
08:46Don't know how you go about getting that I want to be cremated you do
08:51Yes, they can't keep on burying people. Someday. We're gonna run out of land. Oh, that would be terrible
08:57Where would they put everyone Jessica must we talk about this? I know what they could do
09:03They could make cemeteries like post office boxes
09:06You know how they stack them one on top of the other only they would have to make a bigger to get there
09:11Just
09:13Couldn't we talk about something cheerful. I'm sure that Bert would like to hear some cheerful talk. No, I wouldn't
09:21Chester I mean, it's very important to discuss these things
09:24It would be very helpful to me to know what you would like after you're gone because I mean Chester once you're gone
09:30It's gonna be too late for you to tell me
09:32I'm not going Jessica. I don't mean right at this moment
09:37Never what are you gonna do instead? I'll have them freeze me. I'll just wrap him in tinfoil and put him in with the lamb chops
09:47No
09:48Benson they freeze people and when they discover the cure for what killed them
09:53They thaw them out and then bring them back and you're gonna trust somebody to do that
09:58They're paid to do it. Oh, yeah. Well, what if they don't do it?
10:01I mean if I ever got the cure and saw you lying in the freezer, I'd say eat your heart out
10:07Oh, you've been a rabbi a couple of days
10:15Congratulations. Hey, I'm not really a rabbi. You're not. No Tim. It's me Danny
10:23Yeah, you see I'm running from the mob. They're trying to kill me. Oh
10:27of course I
10:30Just wonder if there really is a life after death and if there is do you think everyone's invited?
10:39Afternoon, mr. Stay hello officer Tinkler. I'm chief of police Tinkler and may I come in
10:46I'm afraid this is a very bad time. There's been a death in the family. Well, I know mr. State
10:52That's precisely why I'm here. Now if you'll allow me now ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
10:57I'm a chief of police Tinkler
10:59I'm here because there's been a murder
11:02another one
11:06No, no, it's it's the same same one now I need to ask some questions and I need to get some answers
11:12fact number one
11:14There has been a murder. No
11:17Yes. Yes. Peter Campbell was murdered. My son. He was my son the son of Burt Campbell
11:24Now the following questions need to have some answers how when where why and who
11:33said nation for WC
11:37Number one how well according to the coroner's report the victim was stabbed shot strangled suffocated and bludgeoned
11:44That's four s's in a beat
11:48And still he looks so peaceful
11:51All right, what can we assume from the fact that he was stabbed shot strangled suffocated and bludgeoned that he didn't commit suicide
11:59Thank you now we can assume that Peter Campbell either had many killers or he had one killer
12:08Who really hated his guts?
12:12The next question is when
12:14When was he stabbed shot strangled suffocated and bludgeoned from the coroner's report?
12:19I've been able to pinpoint the time of death precisely
12:22between midnight and 7 a.m
12:26Where in his bathroom and
12:30Why why was he stabbed shot strangled suffocated bludgeoned?
12:36Because somebody wanted him dead
12:39Now last but not least the most important question of all who did it
12:46Again smart little fella
12:50All right, who was it that stabbed shot strangled suffocated and
12:56Stabbed shot strangled suffocated and
12:59Stabbed shot strangled suffocated bludgeoned. Yeah, but bludgeoned Peter Campbell right there in the privacy of his own bathroom. Hmm, who?
13:10Will anyone here like to confess to the murder of Peter Campbell before I go on with the questioning
13:19No
13:20Just as I thought oh, that's that's fine. I love a tough case
13:26Well, let me say this just so you know who you're dealing with when you're dealing with peace. It's Lee Tickler
13:33Chief of Police Tinkler, right? I
13:36Know I repeat. I know where the murder of Peter Campbell is right now
13:42They want some matter with you for God's sake go get him. Just hold your water. Mr. Campbell holds your water
13:47Mr. Tate, I'm gonna have to ask the youngster to vacate the room
13:52Why?
13:53Crime's an ugly business son, but that's not fair. Why can't I stay? This is violence. You're discussing not sex
14:02Police orders son Billy
14:05What are you standing around for you jerk go get him he'll get away
14:08What do you mean? I was the one that just told him to leave the room
14:11The murderer is not going to get away. Mr. Campbell. Oh, no, you see the murderers right here where in this room?
14:34You heard correct, oh you can believe your ears
14:37Right here in this room is the murderer of Peter Campbell. I'll kill you whoever you are. I'm gonna kill you
14:43Please would y'all just sit down
14:45Sit down, please
14:48Mrs. Tate
14:50Can I trouble you for a glass of milk? Oh, yes Benson. Would you please get the sheriff a glass of milk and some cookies?
15:00You have Oreos
15:03I
15:04Can't wait to find out who did it. This is just like a movie of the week
15:08The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of what person in this room could possibly have killed Peter Campbell what person?
15:16That's right. You idiot what person you for one?
15:20This is how we spend our tax dollars. What would my motive be jealousy?
15:26Jealousy. Yes, mr. Tate
15:28Of course, I knew it. I knew it was him
15:32I've always hated him
15:35Now, where were you last night, mr. Tate between the hours of midnight and 7 it was that Pete is telling us I was asleep
15:44Can anyone vouch for that? Of course?
15:48Jessica
15:49Well, I'd like to but can you I
15:54Was asleep in another room
15:56Can anyone else vouch for you? Mr. Tate?
15:59I'm sorry. Mr. Tate Benson knows that I was here. Sorry
16:11Mr. Tate is is one of the suspects
16:13What would my reason be you idiot? What possible motive could I have had for killing him you bumbling twit?
16:23Because he was having an affair with your wife
16:28I
16:46Mr. Tate is one of the suspects the second suspect is mrs. Tate
16:52Me yes, you mrs. Tate because you were having an affair with Peter Campbell and he left you of course
16:58I knew it your sweet sister a murderous
17:02Don't be silly. I couldn't murder anybody. I couldn't even spank the children when they were bad
17:07Well, can anyone vouch for your whereabouts last night between midnight and 7 a.m. I was asleep in the guest room
17:14Did anyone see you sleeping in the guest room? I don't know. I was asleep
17:22I
17:23Second suspect is mrs. Tate now moving on to the to the third suspect
17:30Corinne oh
17:31Come on, you're like that. Your niece killed my son
17:35Where were you last night between midnight and 7 a.m?
17:38None of your business and please answer his questions after all he is the piece of chalif
17:48Where were you
17:51I was at a motel
17:54Were you with anyone
18:04No
18:05But you went to the motel because earlier that evening when you came home you found Peter Campbell in bed with another woman
18:10Ah, who was the fourth suspect? No, it's impossible for a blind woman to shoot with that kind of accuracy
18:16All right tallying up now so far in this room there are three sus three suspects
18:24Then there are more. Oh, please
18:27He's a suspect
18:31For two reasons why number one because he's black
18:38That's fair
18:41The other reason is because he's the butler we all know that in many many cases like this the butler did it
18:48What yeah, where do you think they got that expression? I mean you think they just dreamed it up the butler did it
18:55Now you're suspect number four
18:57Benson. Yeah, thanks
19:00Now for you me. Yes you
19:04You're a suspect number four
19:07Now for you me yes you
19:11Where were you last night in a hotel in Washington was there anyone with you that could testify to that?
19:19No
19:21Suspect number five. I was registered. I checked out this morning. Well, that may be true
19:28But nevertheless, you could have caught one of those shuttle flights at midnight killed Peter and flown back in plenty of time to check out
19:37And that takes us to the major this is getting more and more ridiculous
19:43Well, we all know he has a gun. Of course. I carry a gun corporal. This is wartime
19:52Carry on
20:00All right summing up here
20:03Oh the Tate's are suspect
20:08Come to the Campbell's
20:11Danny's a suspect
20:13He's not even here. Exactly. He's disappeared. You think innocent people disappear plus we all know about his connections with the underworld
20:23You two are a suspect I can't wait to hear why because you're a homo
20:30That's almost as good as my reason
20:34Well, we all know that homos do strange things that they're homeless to begin with makes them a little strange
20:47Anyway, you got an alibi for last night. Yeah, he does he does and I can vouch for him
20:52He was out last night with a girl
20:59So not only did he not do it what he did do disproves your whole gay idea so he's not guilty not gay
21:06Fine. Give me the name of the girl. I'll check it out. I
21:11Can't Jody. Come on. What are you protecting? She's a nurse for God's sakes. Everybody knows about nurses
21:17Nine suspect you didn't take her out. I mean after after they have the shaving those from the advice the whole thing
21:22It's a suspect number nine. What is that? I understand you that I gave you all this. He's the ninth suspect suspect number nine
21:27Okay
21:29All right now for you guys
21:32Where were you last night between midnight and 7 a.m. Huh? I was with Bob here. Yeah, he was I can vouch for him
21:46Wait a minute suspect number 10
21:52All right, fella what oh
21:55You're a priest well that leaves you off the hook, but hey you the Jewish guy
22:03Who are you I'm Rabbi McAbee. Oh, but what are you doing here? They're Episcopalian
22:08Well, I am I was passing by on the street and and I heard grief
22:14Jewish grief Catholic grief Protestant grief. It's all grief to me
22:18I do some of my best work with grief. I mean you talk about grief, but who knows more about grief? I can spot grief a mile away
22:35Mrs. Campbell now, there's no reason in the world to suspect you therefore I suspect you suspect number 12. All right
22:44moving right along to mr. Campbell the
22:48Bereaved father the least likely suspect of all right
22:54therefore a suspect
22:57All right, I advise all of you
23:00no, I I
23:03Request all of you to remain in town
23:07You're all suspect. You're all to remain here and
23:11Available for questioning you got that because sooner or later one of you I'm afraid
23:16Is going to be arrested for the murder of Peter Campbell
23:24Have a nice day
23:34Who killed Peter Campbell
23:36Jessica Chester
23:38Corinne Eunice the major Benson Bert
23:43Mary Jody Danny
23:46Chuck Bob
23:48this question might be answered on next week's episode of so
23:58This is the story of two sisters
24:01Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell
24:05Jessica lives in a neighborhood known as rich
24:10Jessica likes life. The only thing about life. She would change if she could is that she would set it all to music
24:18The Tate's have more secrets than they do money
24:24We're approaching Mary Campbell's house
24:29Mary too likes life
24:32Unfortunately life doesn't seem to be too crazy about her as you can see the Campbell's don't have nearly as much money as the Tate's
24:41They do however had as many secrets
24:48In the last episode of soap chief Tinkler informed the Tate's and the Campbell's that they are all
24:54Suspects in the murder of Peter Campbell the tennis pro because all of them had a motive and most of them don't have an alibi
25:02Chester who knew Jessica had had an affair
25:04But didn't know who she'd had her affair with found out her affair had been with Peter, of course before his death
25:11Confused you won't be after this week's episode of soap
25:17We begin this week's episode of soap shortly after chief Tinkler has left the stunned families
25:32Well Chester, I just can't believe it I mean Chester to think that one of our own relatives might be a murderer
25:39The murderer. I mean I spent the whole evening with the murderer
25:43dinner to a murderer
25:46Actually, I might be living in the same house with a murderer
25:50Chester who do you think did it who could have done it? Who cares Jessica?
25:57After what I learned this evening I couldn't care less about a murder
26:01What did you learn?
26:08That
26:09Yes that
26:12Chester do you think that we are talking about the same that I think so
26:18You're talking about that that that has something to do with me and someone else. That's right. Oh that
26:25Yeah, well, that is the that that I thought that you were talking about
26:29Well Chester, I I don't see what the big deal is. I mean I told you I had had an affair
26:35I mean you didn't know about it, but I didn't know who Jessica I didn't know who you were having your affair with
26:44I should think it would come as a relief relief. Yes, doesn't it make you feel better to know that?
26:49I had an affair with someone who's dead
26:52I mean someone who's dead now. I mean it should make it much easier Chester
26:58you'll never bump into each other at a party and you'll never have to look at him and picture I
27:12Assumed Jessica when you told me you were having an affair that at least at the very least you were having a dignified
27:22But to discover that you were robbing the cradle, do you know how that looks do you know what people say about that?
27:30Well when men do it, they say congratulations
27:35That's something else entirely Jessica young girls are attracted to older men. It's a known fact
27:42We can't help it
27:46Yes, you can you could say no
27:49It was a boy an absolute boy
27:55I'm sure the two of you had a lot to talk about. No, we didn't
28:02Wouldn't think so
28:04Actually, there was never very much time. I mean, you know, it is kind of hard to talk and spare me
28:10at the same time
28:13Well, I'm sorry
28:16Must have been exciting. Oh, yeah, of course a young good-looking guy
28:22Probably knows all kinds of tricks. They're doing these days
28:26They've got all these new books
28:29Well Chester, it didn't last long. I was growing up. We didn't have books. There was one way to do it
28:37Chester are you jealous? I mean the guy's got energy and tricks
28:44How could you compete?
28:46He grew up on penthouse. I grew up on National Geographic
28:53Why should I know as much as he does
28:56Chester I'm here
28:59Look at me. I'm here. Of course. You're here. He's dead
29:07Well, I was still here when he was alive
29:10Now, you know how I felt all those years Chester you felt this way. Hmm
29:16every time and
29:19It was an awful lot of times Chester
29:22Feels awful. I
29:24know
29:26Sometimes I felt so awful. I thought I was going to throw up
29:32Except of course, I hate to throw up I haven't thrown up since 1948
29:37I
29:39Don't think I've ever felt like this before I know
29:46I'm sorry, Jess
29:49I'm sorry. You ever had to feel this way
29:52I'm really sorry
29:55Chester
29:58Let's try never to make each other feel this way again
30:06You
30:13Thank you, oh it sure is quiet around here. Hey guys, what's the matter somebody die?
30:28Don't you have any feelings he was your brother. It wasn't my brother you idiot was his don't call my father an idiot
30:36Excuse me
30:38I'm sorry dad. It's all right
30:41It's all right. It's all right. No, I'm all right. Come on. I'm right. I'm all right
30:45Boy, you never know what life has in store for you. I mean, you just never know. I mean a few days ago
30:51I'm the happiest guy in the world and not today. I couldn't be sad. I know dear. I don't know
30:57I don't know. Maybe God looked down and said hey Campbell's too happy. Let's cool him down kill his son
31:03I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what the world has come to when someone in one's own family is murdered by someone else in someone's own family
31:13Jessica, please enough of this no, but
31:17Nobody killed anybody. Oh, yeah. Well, somebody better tell Peter they buried him the other day
31:24Peter was stabbed shot strangled suffocated and bludgeoned. You seriously think that one of us could have done it for God's sake
31:31Nobody in this family could sit through the Exorcist
31:35I just wonder if any of the Campbell's could sit through it
31:39You know, I think I remember one of them telling me they loved that now, which one was it?
31:45I just wonder which one of the Tate's did it?
31:48I find it very difficult to believe that one of the Tate's is a murderer. Oh you do do yeah
31:53Well, well, I don't it was one of them. I know it
31:56Probably Jessica she couldn't have hurt not in a million years Mary, please never talk to that woman
32:03She's got a vacuum cleaner bag up here
32:06You know Jessica told me she talks to flowers lots of people do that. I talk to my fern
32:12Yeah, but does it answer what does it answer? Of course? Okay, Jessica's flowers answer
32:18Family night. They talk back. You've heard them. No, I know
32:22She told me now you don't think that's crazy a woman who says her flowers talk
32:29Jessica it was Burt
32:32He loved the Exorcist either that or the sound of music
32:38Raving about one of them Chester. Do you think it could have been Burt Jessica, you know, I can't stand the man
32:46I'd be happy to pin anything on him, but I have trouble believing he'd kill his own son
32:51Maybe it was Danny. Why Danny? He's so rude. Oh, I don't think it could have been Danny
32:59You remember the time that the trees got all infested with those awful birds. What is their names?
33:05Grapples, right the crapples. Well
33:09Grapples, right. Yeah
33:10Well, everybody wanted to shoot the birds and don't you remember Danny passed around the petition and saved the birds?
33:16So I don't think it could have been Danny. Maybe it was Jody Jody, please a man couldn't even kill himself. I
33:25Think it was Chester. Come on Chester would be afraid of staining his clothes. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think Bob's right
33:31Yeah, sure. That's it
33:36Maybe it was Jody, you know jealous he gets
33:40God knows Peter was having an affair with enough members of this family
33:45Glad you said it. I
33:48Think it was Corinne. Oh way. What no way she had a motive. She was living with them. She was jealous
33:54Corinne did it Corinne's the one well if it wasn't any one of the Campbells then it was one of us
34:00Please Corinne
34:01She is right and the chief of police said that it was someone in either family and we are all suspects
34:07We are not. Yes, we are. You are a suspect. I am a suspect
34:11So is Corinne and and so is you know, so is Benson I mean it's amazing here
34:17We are all five perfectly nice people
34:20Enjoying breakfast. Well, actually four because Benson's not eating
34:25Here we are five perfectly nice people and out of these five perfectly nice people one of us is probably a killer
34:31I mean a ruthless cold-blooded dangerous homicidal lunatic maniac killer
34:38Is a nice person
34:41Enough of this for the last time no one killed
34:52It's like magic I walk in and talking stops, well, don't worry I'm not staying I'm late for school
34:58I'll just grab my juice and be on my way dad. The last word in your sentence was killed
35:06Go killed Peter
35:11No one could do it. No one would do it
35:16Young good-looking
35:24Better drive you crazy
35:28Shut up Benson
35:29Well now Chester, he does have a point. I mean if we examine it you did have a motive
35:34Oh, really? Well, I suppose you didn't come on daddy mother. I'm not saying she did it Corrine
35:40We're talking about motives here. It's ridiculous to talk about motives. I mean if we're talking about motives Corrine had a motive
35:47Oh Eunice, please. Well, it's true. You never heard the term crime of passion. I have
35:52crime of passion
35:55It's such a beautiful expression. I always wanted someone to commit a crime of passion over me
36:02Chester would you have ever killed for me?
36:06You can build a case against anybody even Eunice
36:10Oh, come on Corrine. Well, how do we know you weren't sleeping with him? Everybody else was
36:17That's enough I've had it
36:20No one in this house ever killed anyone
36:24Well, I guess that eliminates all the tapes. Yeah, which leaves us
36:28Maybe it was dirt
36:30Oh
36:37And what am I
36:39Your next victim. What?
36:41You heard me. How do I know it wasn't you?
36:44For you, but don't say that. Thank you. You know, you're both suspects. You're her tinkler. Come on
36:50It could have been jealousy
36:53What was there to be jealous of he was an idiot
37:01You
37:03Calling my dead son an idiot. Oh, I'm sorry
37:31Oh
37:46So you are a supporter of the ERA, oh, yes
37:50Tell me congressman rumor has it that your Senate campaign is only a stepping stone on your way to the presidency. Is that true?
37:56I'm not planning that far ahead. It's true
37:59Waitress
38:02Marilyn don't you think you've had enough to drink? No
38:05Cheryl Gretchen, whatever your name is. Excuse me. I'll be right back
38:11Marilyn that's enough dear. I'm sorry to interrupt your efforts to find a bed for tonight, but I'd like a martini
38:19Marilyn this has got to stop. Fine. You're a congressman go lobby
38:35I
38:37Can't stand being without you Oh Walter. I don't know what to do. I'll move back a little
38:48I'm afraid I'm in trouble. Oh my god, how many weeks?
38:54No, no the murder Peter's murder, oh
38:59Terrible thing
39:01I'd like another martini, please. And this time could you put it in a coffee cup? Thank you
39:09Walter they're asking me for an alibi and I don't have one. Are you a suspect?
39:15Everyone is we'll just tell them where you were that night. I was with you in a hotel in bed
39:27Are you really a suspect
39:29Oh
39:37I'll come over about ten tonight. What about Marilyn? Well, it's noon. She's on her fourth martini by tonight to ten
39:44She'll be in a coma. I love you
39:47You leave first it could look funny if we left together
39:59Ah
40:02Well
40:03Darling, it's the bathroom. What does one usually do in here?
40:07I was waiting for the bathroom the door opened and she came out of you that girl reporter
40:12You saw a woman come out of this bathroom
40:16Follows you around night and day she must really be hard up
40:22Well, you should have come five minutes earlier the pilot was in here and all the stewardesses and we were having a party
40:29I mean, it's hard to miss her the girls in heat
40:36Marilyn the drinking has to stop. I
40:39Mean forget about the fact you embarrass the hell out of me. I mean now you're going around hallucinating
40:44Seeing people walk out of bathrooms Marilyn that the drinking has got to stop once and for all
40:51And
40:58You should have heard all the kids talking in school today, I am so sick of this murder
41:02Well, you can imagine how Peter must have felt
41:07It's all we talk about that's all anyone talks about. I know
41:12Yesterday all the older kids didn't even know I was alive today. They wouldn't leave me alone
41:16I mean, I'm sorry Peter's dead, but this has done a lot for me
41:20Did you tell them that you didn't know anything about it because the chief of police sent you from the room?
41:25Are you joking? I made stuff up
41:28All the help on the block started a pool good in the summer. The troops can go swimming
41:41They're all taking bets you got more money on you than Ali in the last fight
41:50You want meaning in that
42:01Would you mind
42:07Well now I know how Elizabeth Taylor and Jackie Onassis feel walking down the street with all that staring and whispering
42:14I don't know how they ever get anything accomplished
42:16Of course it is worse for them because everybody wants their autographs so far
42:20Nobody's asked me for mine. But if they do I've decided to keep it really quite simple just something like best wishes, Jessica Tate
42:31Sherlock Holmes
42:36Evening I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I have an important announcement to make
42:41Who is that prime ribs?
42:44My favorite thing in this world is prime ribs, but no, I guess you haven't had that since uh, well
42:49It must be going on 15 years now
42:52Tinkler, what's your announcement? You haven't had prime ribs for 15 years
42:59That's my wife
43:03She says she hates to cook it for just the two of us there's too much leftovers Tinkler. Yeah. Oh, yeah
43:08Well, you couldn't make sandwiches now that's what I told my wife but she said we'd have to go on having sandwiches for months
43:16First came to worse. You could give some to your dogs. Yeah, no dogs
43:21Tinkler, could you make this announcement of yours, please?
43:24My wife's allergic. We got birds. Oh two parakeets
43:32Birds eat roast beef
43:35Tinkler what do you want? I wouldn't mind a taste of that roast beef
43:40Yes, of course sit down in Eunice's place. She's not here. I know Eunice's in Washington
43:46Yeah, but then but she's no longer a suspect. Oh Chester, isn't that wonderful Benson?
43:51Please get the chief of police a plate of roast beef
43:54Nope
43:57Well, I eliminated you to rare medium or well done
44:02Rare
44:04Please
44:05Tinkler you came to make an announcement. What is it? Oh, yeah, right. I I've come to make an announcement about the
44:14investigation
44:16That looks good. Yeah, you came to make an announcement, right? Oh
44:22Is that is that what I think it is horseradish sauce boy do I love horseradish
44:29sauce
44:31Tinkler are you going to tell us or you're gonna move in? Oh, yeah
44:36Right. Well, uh, we've uh, we've narrowed down the leads and uh, we've made some conclusions and
44:43Would you pass the salt, please?
44:45Your conclusions tinkler. Oh, it's wonderful. Why is one of them?
44:52Yes, we've uh, we've eliminated Benson we've eliminated Eunice and we've eliminated
44:59Oh my
45:04Is that sweet potato pudding
45:09My grandmother used to make go on tinkler don't mind if I do
45:17Would you please tell us why you came here but the the youngster
45:24Billy
45:27Okay, fine I'm leaving
45:29It's a wonder that I ever learned the English language. I'll be in my room playing with my CB
45:33Maybe somewhere somebody in this world would like to talk to me
45:38Continue tinkler. Oh, yes. Well as I was saying, we've eliminated Benson and we've up we've eliminated you this tinkler
45:45Are you saying that it's one of the Campbell's?
45:48No, no, the murderer is still in this house
46:00I think he means we're getting closer
46:07He said it's Walter Chester, there's no Walter in this house
46:16He says it's water
46:18Whose water for God's sake
46:22It must be a clue
46:25Lives near water
46:30I
46:32Got it. He needs water to drink, right?
46:37It's a person who drinks water
46:40It's a person who doesn't drink water. No, it's Corrine
46:47Corrine Tate you're under arrest for the murder of Peter Campbell
46:59You
47:01Will Chester and Jessica really stop fooling around with other people and actually start fooling around with each other
47:08When mrs. McCallum find out her husband is giving more than just an interview to Eunice
47:13Will the airlines increase the size of their bathrooms to accommodate larger parties?
47:19Will Corinne be jailed tried and convicted for the murder of Peter?
47:23Will the tapes ever invite chief tinkler to a roast beef dinner again?
47:27These questions and many others will be answered on next week's episode of soap